This issue: FUCKING.

You may or may not like to use this word to describe the physical expression of love. If you don’t like it, that’s OK, we are going to show you lots of different ways to talk about sex. The definition of sexual intercourse is the insertion of a man’s penis into a woman’s vagina. There are “nice” ways to talk about this action like “being intimate” and other more direct ways like “humping”. Adult Only Thesaurus - To have sexual intercourse

CLEAN
<
to have sex to be intimate to fornicate to copulate to have sexual relations to make love to sleep with to get it on to bed to have to have it away to have it off to bonk to do it to ride

DIRTY
>
to fuck to shag to screw to hump to get one’s end away to get laid to bump uglies to nail to bang to knock off to bone

The Future Progressive How the fuck do you make it?
Present simple of to be + pr esent participle of to go + infinitive

What the fuck is it used for?
Ther e is no special verb form to talk about the future in English, we use the f uture progressiv e depending on the reason we see for the future event. Ther e are two situations in which we use the future progressive: The person who is speaking feels there is evidence for a future event. Example Oh Bill, what a mess! That is real ly going to stain my dress.

What the fuck does that mean?
(Using we) We are + going + to fuck

I he she it we you they

am (not)

is (not) going to fuck

The person who is speaking makes a decision about the future. Example This is my last cigar. After this I am going to stop smoking.
‘I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinski.’ (Bi ll Clinton)

are (not)

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He can hold his drink In their local pub, a man and a woman are having a drink. When the man goes to the toilet another man sits in his seat and starts talking to the woman. ‘I’m going to shag you here and now,’ says the man. ‘What! How dare you?!’ she replies. ‘And then,’ continues the man, ‘I’m going to strip you naked and lick your body.’ ‘My husband’s going to kill you when he gets back!’ she warns. ‘And once that’s over with, I’m going to fill your pussy up with beer and then drink it through a straw!’ ‘Right, that does it!’ she shouts, running off to get her husband. A few minutes later, she returns with him and explains what the pest had said. ‘He says he is going to shag me,’ cries the lady while her husband takes off his coat. ‘And then he wants to lick my naked body,’ she sobs as her husband rolls up his sleeves. ‘And worst of all, he says he is going to fill my pussy with beer and drink it all up through a straw!’ At this, the man rolls his sleeves down, puts his coat back on and heads for the door. ‘What are you going to do?’ protests the woman. The man replies, ‘I’m not going to fight anyone who can drink that much beer!’

ANSWERS VOCABUL ARY VOCABUL ARY

to fornicate vb (usually means to have sex outside marriage) to copulate vb (v ery formal and often used when talking about animals having sex) to have sexual relations can also mean an y kind of sexual activi ty (unfortunately f or US expresident Bi ll Clinton) to ride vb can also mean to tr avel on e.g. a horse, a bicycle to screw vb can also mean to drive a screw (a piece of metal with ridges) into something to hump vb can also mean to carry something that needs lots of ef fort to nail vb can also mean to drive a nail (a thin piece of metal) into something to hold one’s drink exp to be able to drink lots of alcohol to strip naked phr vb to take one’s clothes of f once that’s over with when that is finished pussy n RUDE vagina (also an inf ormal name for a cat) running off, to run off phr vb to run awa y, leave very quickly pest n a person who is annoying or causes tr ouble for someone else to sob vb to cry sleeve n the part of a shirt, jumper, etc. that co vers your arms to head for phr vb to go to, to go in the direction of

They act like cocks with a drink in them, but they ’re r eally just a pair of chickens

Exercise Some verbs ar e TRANSITIVE and others are INTRANSITIVE. A TRANSITIVE verb has a DIRECT OBJECT. E.g. I’m going to fuck y ou. - In this sentence, to fuck is a TRANSITIVE verb. An INTRANSITIVE verb has an INDIRECT OBJECT. E.g. I’m going to have sex with you. - In this sentence, to have sex needs a preposition before the OBJECT, so it is an INTRANSITIVE verb. You don’t need to know the names of these kinds of verbs, but you do need to know how to use them. Have a look at the following sentences. For each number there is one correct sentence and one incorrect sentence. Write the correct let ter in the space. The answers are above the glossary. 1. 2. 3. a) I’m going to be intimate you. b) I’m going to be intimate with you. a) I’m going to fornicate you. b) I’m going to fornicate wi th you. a) I’m going to shag you. b) I’m going to shag to you. ANSWER_______

4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. ANSWER_______ 11. ANSWER_______ 12.

a) I’m going to make love you b) I’m going to make love to you. a) I’m going to screw you. b) I’m going to screw to you. a) I’m going to hump you. b) I’m going to hump with you. ANSWER_______ ANSWER_______

ANSWER_______ a) I’m going to have sexual relations you. b) I’m going to have sexual relations with you. ANSWER_______ a) I’m going to get my end away you. b) I’m going to get my end away with you. ANSWER_______ a) I’m going to bed you. b) I’m going to bed to you. ANSWER_______ a) I’m going to bump uglies you. b) I’m going to bump uglies wi th you. ANSWER_______ a) I’m going to have you. b) I’m going to have with you. ANSWER_______ a) I’m going to have it of f you. b) I’m going to have it off with you. ANSWER_______

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These are the answers to the exer cise. 1.b 2.b 3.a 4.b 5.a 6.a 7.b 8.b 9.a 10.b 11.a 12.b If y ou got 10 or more correct answers you are allowed to hav e sex (but tell the person you ar e going to make lov e to him/her, i ’s nicer t than sa ying you are going to f uck him/her).

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