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NLP

IN A DAY
Practical NLP applications
to improve the quality of your life

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About this book
This book is our expression of gratitude towards
our NLP graduates, who have pushed the envelope
in many ways in applying NLP, to bring about new
improvements in their lives. Inspired by their stories,
we have taken the steps to create this book.

Do take note that the stories in this book are purely


fictional, and bear no resemblance to the personal life
of any individual. This book is solely for educational
purposes.

We hope that by sharing this book with you, you will


be inspired to see new possibilities, and how much
influence you have over the results in your life.

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What is NLP?
NLP stands for Neuro-
Linguistic Programming.

NLP is a technology for human


change derived from decades of
research studying the excellence
of successful people.

In plain language, NLP is the study of how we think,


what drives our motivation, and how we can condition
ourselves for peak performance.

By simplifying these studies into models, structures


and techniques, NLP helps people and organizations
take their competencies and capabilities to a whole new
level, as well as achieve win-win results.

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Meet Adeline
This book chronicles a day in her life and the new
habits she is cultivating from her takeaways in NLP.

For Adeline, NLP is useful and meaningful as it enables


her to be proactive.

When she holds the belief that she has choices over her
thoughts and actions, she wields more influence over
the outcomes she seeks in the various experiences in her
life.

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Proactive living
Start the day by setting your inner compass
Understanding the wisdom that proactiveness begins
with a thought, Adeline starts her day by tuning her
inner compass.

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In a simple process called intention setting, Adeline
determines how she wants to go through the day,
without getting too caught up in her goals, because
she knows that when her actions are well-aligned,
everything she does will naturally pace her closer to Intention Setting
where she wants to be. An intention statement, phrased in the present, implies speaking
as if the intention had already manifested itself and, by feeling
Today, my intention is to be proactive; I want to see congruent with the said words, doing what one can in order to fulfill
that I have the power to choose my actions. ones thoughts. One is congruent when every fiber of ones being is
in agreement.
Throughout the day, she checks on herself, on the way
she is upholding her intention, and she adjusts her You can set an intention by asking yourself the following
actions if and when she has to. questions:

- What are the qualities I want to embody today?


- What will I commit myself to doing today, to embody these
qualities?

For example:
I want to be open to learning new things from the people I meet.
or
I am committed to listening to people with an open mind, and to
asking them questions to get to know them better.

As you set the intention for the day, remember to be congruent,


mind and body: match your posture to the words you utter and
their meaning.

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How to prevent an emotional hijack
Pause
When you pause, you allow yourself a few seconds to engage your
logical brain, and decide on a better response than simply reacting
to the situation.

When she takes her time to drive, the drive actually


becomes enjoyable. It frees her from carrying any
negative emotions to her workplace.

Driving used to give Adeline a lot of stress. Weekday


mornings rush hour traffic, simply got on her nerves.

But Adeline has decided to be different today. She is


now aware that she can choose how to respond to this
situation. When someone gets in her way, she pauses,
takes a deep breath and starts thinking differently.
She considers this a good training to master her
emotions. She cannot control what other people choose
to do, but she can control how she chooses to feel
about it.

She leaves home 10 minutes earlier than usual, so that


she doesnt have to rush to work.

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Overcoming anxiety before a presentation
Adeline is the Marketing Manager She closes her eyes and mentally
of her company. Holding meetings runs through the points she intends
and presentations are things she to cover in the presentation. It gives
does on a regular basis. her a general framework of how
she would run the presentation,
In the past, she would get butterflies instead of diving into it without
in her stomach whenever she had to preparation.
speak in front of a group.

But having learnt NLP, she now has


more control over her emotional
states and can choose the ones
that support her in delivering a
presentation.

Adeline spends 3 quiet minutes


managing her state. She relaxes her shoulders and pays
attention to her breathing. This helps her center herself
and feel more at ease. As she recalls that she had done State Management
all the necessary preparation, she knows that she can Our emotional state is often a better predictor of our performance
trust herself to present her points clearly. than our skill sets. This explains how some people stutter or
forget their well-prepared talk when they need to speak in front of
a crowd. Through NLPs state management techniques, one learns
to get in touch with ones resourceful emotional states, and learn
how to hold the state during an important performance.

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Addressing communication gaps
One thing Adeline realized about meetings is that each Through NLP, Adeline gained the empowering belief
participant comes in with their different baggages. that there are no resistant clients, only inflexible
communicators. It is up to her how she frames the
At the start of a meeting, there are often individuals meeting to help people focus and meet its outcome.
who are only physically present in the meeting room,
and Adeline would have a hard time keeping everyones
attention and getting them onto the same page.

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An example of a preframe she often uses is:
The purpose of this meeting is to plan the marketing
campaign for our next book. Lets be focused on this
NLP Communication
The NLP presupposition there are no resistant clients, only
purpose, and at the end we will decide on a few actions to
inflexible communicators explains that it is the responsibility of
be taken to implement this plan. I estimate we will finish
the communicator to effectively get his message across to the
this meeting in less than 45 minutes.
listener.

Using a preframe, which is a statement that tells people what is


coming, one begins the conversation with a positive end in mind.
It helps people understand the relevance of the conversation and
what to look out for.

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Communicating with flexibility
From NLP, Adeline has also gained the understanding 2. Auditory:
that people prefer to represent information differently.
They are sensitive to
There are predominantly 4 types of people: sounds and usually have
a nice voice. They are
1. Visual: also good at sequencing
information.
They store their memories in the form of mental
images. They usually speak fast because they are trying
to keep up with the images flashing through their
minds.

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3. Kinesthetic: To increase her flexibility in getting her message across,
Adeline uses in her presentation an intelligent mix of
They process information with their feelings. They learn visual presentation slides, clear auditory instructions,
more easily when they get a hands-on experience. handouts for people who prefer to have notes, as well
as a set of actions at the end of the meeting to help the
4. Self-talk: team make progress.

They are the masters of analysis. They like to read or


write their own notes in order to map out the details in
their head.

Representational Systems
Our preferred representational system is the system that
determines how we represent information in our brains. It
translates into our different styles of communication and
learning. The understanding that we represent information
differently from others gives us more flexibility in getting our
message across to them.

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Pacing & leading
The art of overcoming skepticism
In a meeting setting, when you have complex
information to present, and there are controversial
opinions, people can be skeptical and it is hard to gain
a buy-in.

Adeline knows that she needs people to understand


where she is coming from, and bring everyone on the
same page before being able to flip to the next one.

In NLP, this is called pacing and leading.


She patiently explains the current situation that
everyone is familiar with, breaking it down into key
bullet points, and then she leads the group with her
suggestion for each problem.

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Adeline is aware that her point of view may not be the
only answer, so she asks for feedback from the group
so that they can achieve a more effective and ecological
solution that everyone can benefit from.

The more participation there is in the room, the


more perspectives and options are available to reach a
beneficial outcome.

Pacing & Leading


If a child is taught algebra when he has not yet gone through basic
arithmetic, not only would he struggle with mathematics, but
he would most likely drop off the subject very quickly. We need to
start teaching from the basics, such as counting, giving relevant
examples, and then slowly familiarizing him with more complex
concepts.

This is a classic example of pacing and leading, whereby we first


ensure that the other party understands us, then guide them to
more important information that we wish to share.

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Maintaining mental sharpness after lunch
Adeline has an appointment to have lunch with one of
her buddies, Jason.

Understanding the wisdom that the mind and body


are one, she consciously chooses what she eats for
lunch.

She avoids mixing meat protein with carbohydrates, so


that she doesnt feel lethargic after the meal due to the
reaction the food causes in her body.

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Here is a simple example of a good food combination
The mind & body are one. practice:
This NLP presupposition simply states that what
we do with our body affects our mind and vice versa.
Morning: Fruits of your choice (banana, papaya or
a veggie smoothie - no milk!).
Therefore, the food that we put in our body during
lunch has a direct impact on our energy level after
Afternoon: Noodles or brown rice with any
lunch.
vegetables, mushrooms, beans & grains (avoid
drinking water; if you must, drink warm water
This can be explained with Dr Howard Hays research
instead of cold). Or full-grain bread with salad in
on food combinations, in which he talks about not
simple vinaigrette or lemon-soya sauce dressing
mixing proteins and carbohydrates in the same
(avoid creamy or milky dressings).
meal.
Evening: Grilled or pan-fried chicken with
The science behind this is simply explained
mushrooms and lots of vegetables (avoid
as: proteins (all meats & dairy) need an acid
starchy food e.g. rice, potatoes, yams &
environment to be digested properly, while
squash). Avoid fats, as they inhibit the secretion
carbohydrates like rice, potatoes, noodles, bread
of digestive juices.
etc require an alkaline environment. Combining
proteins and carbohydrates neutralizes the ideal
You may find more information about food
environment for both foods to be digested properly
combinations in Barney Wees article here, or
and therefore be absorbed by the body.
in Harvey and Marilyn Diamonds Fit for Life
and Jan Dries The Complete Book of Food
Combining.

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How to stop blaming & start forgiving
Jason looks a little frustrated today. He has been his thoughts.)
complaining about this problem with his father, who
had been resistant towards Jasons idea of starting his Jason: I guess it is one of his ways of loving me, of
own business. wanting me to have a better life than him.

Jason cannot understand why his father still treats him


like a baby even though he is already in his thirties. All
he wants is to follow his heart and do something that
he really loves.

Slowly eating her lunch, Adeline offers her listening


ears to let Jason voice out his frustrations. She patiently
waits until Jason is done before asking him a question.

Adeline: Jason, can there be a positive intention behind


your fathers disapproval?
Behind every behaviour is a
Jason: I dont know maybe he just doesnt want to positive intention.
see me fail. When we were younger, my father failed two This NLP presupposition is a good guideline for us to understand
businesses that cost us our first house. It was the lowest that every single person is trying to achieve something good
point in his life, and I guess maybe he just doesnt want to with what they do. While we may not necessarily agree with
see me follow his footsteps. their behavior per se, our ability to see their positive intention
positive intention for themselves - helps us to see things from a
Adeline: Hmm different angle, and hence, increase our ability to stay calm and
(She nods her head, giving Jason more space to express choose to act differently.

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Ecological mindsets
The key to sustainable results & relationships possible contingencies. If they are both involved in
working out the concerns, they can gain better rapport
They chat on, with Jason slowly feeling less of this and stronger father-son bonding.
emotional baggage he has been carrying. When he sees
the positive intention
behind his fathers
behavior, he better
understands what his
father wants.

Adeline shares with


Jason about making
ecological changes: by
which a person moves
towards his goal without
affecting the other
stakeholders in his life.

Jason understands that even if his business venture


succeeds, he will not be happy if the tension between
him and his father persists. Ecology
NLP focuses on maintaining ecology, which is the wisdom of seeing
Jason will talk to his father to gain mutual how our actions are affecting other things and people around
understanding. He is determined to share his plans us. The more ecological our actions are, the more we are able to
with his father and explain to him how he will handle sustain them and enjoy the benefits we want from them .

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The map is not the territory
One of Adelines subordinates, Eugene is having some
difficulty in delivering his work on time.

In the past, she would have mentally labelled Eugene as


incompetent, jumping to the conclusion that Eugene
was lazy or irresponsible.

But now that she knows that since her map is not
the territory, her understanding of Eugenes situation
may limited, so it will be useful to get his side of the
story.

Adeline also knows that as Eugenes manager, she has


some influence over his performance.

The map is not the territory is a


commonly used NLP presupposition, which is a guideline for us to
be open, to understand that what we know is not the absolute
truth out there. When we are open and willing to see other peoples
maps of the world, we increase our capacity to tap into multiple
perspectives and hence, have better ability to make sustainable,
ecological decisions.

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Stop judging & start building rapport
Eugene is mostly quiet at Adeline: Eugene, I want you
the meeting. He only replies to know that I am not here to
briefly, and keeps his arms judge you on your performance.
crossed most of the time. I know that we all make
the best choices at any given
Seeing that they are not point in time and so did you
making much progress and when you were managing your
having learnt from NLP that duties. You have been a good
if she isnt getting what she performer in the past, and
wanted, she will change the therefore Im sure there is a
way she goes about doing it, reason why you are not doing
she sits down beside him and as well as before. If there is
lowers her voice. something you are struggling with, you can discuss it with
me; I want to understand your situation.

Eugene: Im sorry that I didnt talk to you about this.


My son is sick, and Ive been running in and out of the
hospital. As hard as I tried, this situation is making it
People make the best choices at difficult for me to concentrate on my work. Please give me
some time and Ill try to do better.
any given time is a pillar of NLP that frees one from
judging and placing blame on self or others; looking back from the
Adeline is happy that her change of strategy has allowed
present time at a decision made in the past, it may not seem like
Eugene to open up to her. Now she has enough clarity
the best choice, but at that point in time, it was. Had there been
over the situation to be able to help him.
a better option, one would have taken it. NLP helps people expand
their range of choices and thus gain flexibility in their behaviours.

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Defining & achieving your goals
Eugene decides to ask Adeline to help him manage his maintaining
responsibilities better. the rapport
they have
Adelines NLP experience enables her to share with him built so far.
about the concept of time, and why some people can
achieve things in a certain amount of time, while others Adeline
dont. tells Eugene
about the
If we dont manage our priorities, time is taken away types of
from us and there is not much left for the things that activities
are truly important. If you want to steer your life in the (important
direction your want, consider prioritizing, she said, and urgent, important but not urgent, not important but
urgent and not important and not urgent as per Steven
Coveys time management matrix) that take up our
Goal Setting time, and Eugene finds it helpful to start prioritizing
NLP provides a technique for creating and maintaining an his tasks according to this system.
outcome that meets certain essential conditions. A well formed
outcome is crucial if one wants to progress from theoretically They then discuss one of Eugenes work goals that he
wanting something, to being able and knowing how to get it. hasnt yet achieved. With the skill sets and tools Adeline
Some of the criteria that must be met for this are: the goal has now, they can jot down the specific steps he needs
must be positively stated (e.g. I want to sell 4 cars by 5th July), to take towards this goal. Adeline makes sure that all
contextualized (when and where do I want this goal manifested?), the conditions for setting useful outcomes are met
self-maintainable (what capabilities do I have that support me in before Eugene can take action.
achieving this goal?), worthwhile (what will achieving this goal do
for me?) and so on.

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Stop saying I dont want to be fat
Adelines personal goal is to be healthy. She needs to
shed off a few pounds to maintain a healthy Body Mass
Index (BMI).

Typically, many people trying to lose weight repeat


the phrase I dont want to be fat. They are seemingly
looking for ways to confirm that they are not fat, but
the focus is on fat.

What would be more useful is to identify the target


they want to work towards, and devise the self-
maintainable steps to achieve it.

Adeline is clear that her target weight is 52kg. The gap


she has to work on is 5kg, and she has made plans on
how to reach that.

Whatever we focus on, expands. Therefore, Adeline


chooses to think about she wants, rather than what she
doesnt want.

Wheres your Focus?


So when we focus on what we dont want, we are actually focusing
on the negative outcome. Instead, we should constantly look for
what we want, and build our actions around fulfilling that outcome.

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Powerful mental rehearsals
One of her self-maintainable This visualization process helps
steps towards 52kg is to run a her assess the feasibility of her
marathon. For that reason, she is goal, as well as mentally prepare
increasing her training intensity herself to take the actions to get
on a weekly basis, to boost her there. It strengthens her self-
confidence of achieving her goal. motivation and increases the
She knows that every training focus on her goal.
session will help her move
towards this goal.

Before her weekly run, she does a


simple visualization to improve
her performance.

First, she asks herself a


straightforward question: What
do I want to achieve this week?

She takes her answers and turns them into very detailed Visualization
visualizations; she sees herself performing the action. Visualization is a powerful tool that prepares one for success; it
helps one identify and overcome personal challenges; it makes the
Next, she imagines herself doing it - feeling what she progress to achievement so real that one is able not only see it in
would feel when she is actually running - so that it feels the minds eye, but also feel it, hear it or smell it. It works because
real and realistic to her. the human brain cannot tell the difference between what is real and
what is imagined.

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We cannot not communicate
Whether you know it or not, you are
influencing the people around you.

After a long day, Adeline settles comfortably onto the In the past, she would be frustrated by their rowdiness,
couch with her iPhone, but she cant help but notice and would try to dismiss them by sending them off to
that her kids are trying to grab her attention. do their homework.

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But today, Adeline sees things
differently. She understands that
there is a positive intention
behind every behavior and
people cannot not influence
each other.

Adeline realizes that her kids just


want to bond with her. It is their
simple way of expressing their love
for their mother, and wanting to
be loved in return.

So she puts aside her iPhone


and starts interacting with them,
enjoying their laughter, innocence
and lovability.

People cannot not influence each


other is an NLP presupposition which means that people
interact through loops of feedback, i.e. a person will be affected by
the results that their own actions make on others.

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Appreciating the person closest to you
more responsible for her actions.

Life is such a great teacher; she will take all the


wonderful things she has learnt today, to create a better
day tomorrow.

Adeline is grateful for what NLP has taught her. When


she is proactive, she becomes a thermostat in her life,
controlling her own temperature, rather than letting
the weather outside decide it for her.

As Adeline slowly slides into her bed, she smiles,


imagining that her hands are clapping from within,
from inside her heart.

She has had a great day. She knows that she didnt Self-Acknowledgement
need to be perfect. She did the best she could, and she Self-acknowledgment is crucial towards our personal growth. It
acknowledges herself for choosing to be proactive. She directs our focus to the glass half full as opposed to the glass
knows just how important the way we talk to ourselves half empty. It also helps build our abilities to depend on ourselves
is, so she refines the tone of her voice to be congruent and focus on the milestones towards our goal. It is also a means
with the acknowledgment. of creating rapport with ourselves, as WE are at the centre of
our lives; when we are well, we can better influence the things and
With more awareness of every choice she makes, she is people around us, and ultimately the world.

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Awareness is a choice
Change starts with self-awareness.

Having no awareness is like a fish swimming in water,


not knowing that it is surrounded by water.

One cannot change what he is not aware of.

Admitting to where we stand is an act of courage. It is


choosing to see, rather than living a life pretending that
we dont have any problems.

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More resources on NLP
Now that you have read about some of the applications Here are more resources you can use to learn about
of NLP our graduates have been practicing in their NLP:
lives, and if you liked this book, youd be amazed at the
abundance of things NLP can teach you; for example: Preview of our NLP course

Seeing the unproductive habits you have been NLP articles section
repeating in your life, and learning to overcome them
Video interview series with Mr Barney Wee, Founder
Summoning positive emotions such as courage and and Principal Trainer of Mind Transformations
calmness, and learning how to gain control over
negative emotions like anger, guilt and depression

Asking better questions that help you and other


people uncover the answers within themselves
NLP is not just a tool or technique;
Communicating with different types of people
it is an attitude,
Doing a mental rehearsal for a presentation or & a way of living.
interview

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About Mind Transformations
Mind Transformations is a Our Vision
company dedicated to help people
and organizations connect their Building a world where people live
visions of a better world to their to contribute their best.
strengths and vocations - through
our training, coaching and consulting work, built from
strong emphasis on Neuro-Linguistic Programming Our Mission
(NLP), Enneagram Personality Profiling and other
cutting edge mind technologies. Realizing our future today

We believe the keys to successful training include To help people & organisations connect their visions of
experiential and whole-brain integrated learning. We a better world to their strengths & vocations.
primarily focus on three connecting concepts - Brain
Friendly, Hands-On and How To Do It, so that To develop and translate complex scientific disciplines
clients fully integrate learning and success in their into user-friendly frameworks, tools & skill sets that
careers and every facet of their life. anyone or any organisation can use to achieve far
reaching results.
Our Principal Trainers
Barney Wee | Agnes Lau To support peace & green initiatives.

The Mind Transformations Difference


Our 7 key value propositions

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Connect with us

www.mindtransformations.com
info@nlpsgasia.com
Facebook
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A big THANK YOU...
...to you for making time to read this book from the
people who have put this book together:

Alfred Chung
Ashelyn Lee
Barney Wee
Flavia Pal Go!
Joseph Chng
Kua Jieting
Start cultivating a proactive
way of living.

Step up and be the change you


want to see in your life.

Copyright Mind Transformations Pte Ltd, 2012

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