COMPLIMENTARY

APRIL 2017, VOL. 15 ISSUE 4

SEE PAGE 24
Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong
Table of Contents
ROTARY FOOD FEST ................ 4
Sales Manager
GONZALES GARDEN CLUB .. 10
Dottie Godberry
Staff Photographer SWEET EYES W/ TANYA..... .....12

Jimmy Dunkley JTEX CELEBRATES .............................24 FOR MORE INFORMATION
225.622.3262
JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE........ 29 www.riverparishfoods.com

Contributing Writers
BILL DELAUNE........................ 30
Bill Delaune
THOUGHTS FROM BULLY.....34
Linda Melancon
CRAWFISH FESTIVAL ..............38
Calvin Bessonett
Bully SNO’S RECIPE...........................45

Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley Jambalaya Festival Association
Jimmy Dunkley

For Advertising
50th Queen’s Pageant to be
Information Please call:
225-622-1324
Held During Annual Festival
The Jambalaya Festival 49th Jambalaya Queen, Holly Stelly attest…”You have not seen our
Association proudly announces great state until you see it
E-Mail Comments its 50th Annual Gonzales through the eyes of a Queen”!!
Jambalaya Festival and its 50th
to Stronggraphics1@cox.net Coronation of Miss Gonzales The commemorate the
www.ascensionmagazine.net Jambalaya Festival 2017. We significance of this event, the
invite all young ladies living in Jambalaya Festival has also
Ascension Parish between the commissioned a custom crown
Note: Features in this ages of 18-23 to join us for the designed in collaboration with
50th Annual Miss Gonzales Camilla Ford of Gabriella
publication labeled Jambalaya Festival Queens Rothschild’s and created by
Pageant. Young ladies Moan Couture Designs of
“advertorial” interested in competing for New York. This one of a kind
are paid for editorials. this title can download a crown will be unveiled in the
registration form on the coming weeks.
All Rights Reserved. Jambalaya Festival website @
Opinions expressed are not Jambalayafestival.org or contact The JFA has chosen to retire all
the Pageant Director @ Children’s titles & the Miss
necessarily those of the laconger@me.com. Teen Gonzales Jambalaya title
at this time. “We will no longer
publisher, editor or staff of
The 50th Miss Gonzales host a Children’s Pageant” said

The 50th Miss Gonzales Jambalaya Director. “We would like to
Ascension Magazine Jambalaya Queen will be Laurina Conger; Pageant

Queen will be crowned on Saturday, focus our attention and
crowned on Saturday, May

May 27th on the Main Stage
27th on the Main Stage of the

of the Festival Grounds.
Festival Grounds. The efforts on our Miss Gonzales
competition will include Jambalaya Queen as we return
interviews before a panel of 3 to our festival roots for this
judges on Friday evening, May Our 50th Miss Gonzales milestone event. What better
26th. There will also be Jambalaya will spend an way to celebrate our 50th
onstage evening gown incredible year representing the Anniversary than to honor our
modeling and an onstage Gonzales Jambalaya Festival by deeply held traditions!”
question on Saturday Morning. travelling around the state of
The interviews will be held in the Louisiana, as an honored guest, Ladies, don’t miss this “Once in a
Jambalaya Festival Building Lifetime” opportunity!

DEADLINE FOR APPLICATION IS
to many of our state’s largest and

MONDAY, MAY 15, 2017
located on S. François just most unique festivals and fairs.
behind the Kids Kove Discovery She will compete in the Louisiana
Park and the Pageant will take Association of Fairs and Festivals
place on Saturday Morning May Queen of Queens pageant held in
27th on the Main Stage of the ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS!
Baton Rouge in early 2018 and
Festival. The JFA will hold a she will have the opportunity to
18386 Little Prairie Rd. mandatory informational meeting travel with a contingent of
Prairieville, LA 70769 in the Jambalaya Building on May community leaders from our
22nd at 6PM. All interested parish to visit our sister city in
contestants must attend. Meylan, France. As many of our
previous Jambalaya Queens will
Rotary Club of Gonzales
Annual Food Fest a Success
The Rotary Club of Gonzales held its
20th annual Food Fest on March 28, Anna Sparacino, Manager of St.
2017 at the Lamar Dixon Expo Center. Theresa’s Food Pantry said, “We are
Hundreds of people enjoyed great food very grateful for the work of the
and drink and were entertained by the Gonzales Rotarians and for the
Kenny Fife Band. Nearly 50 vendors, generous donation to the food pantry.
restaurants, and sponsors participated Without the funds raised through the
in the event which collected over Food Fest, the food pantry would not
$11,000 in receipts through ticket be able to provide nutritious food for
sales. The money will go to the St. the many members of the community
Theresa of Avila Catholic Church who rely on the food bank each year.”
Food Pantry, a non-denominational
food bank which provides food for “This festival has become a symbol in
many households throughout the community for the spirit of
Ascension Parish. Ascension Parish: good friends and

4
neighbors, a worthy cause, and great food,”
said Food Fest Chairperson, Sheena Falgoust.
“Year after year, members of the community
continue to flock to what we believe is the
premier food tasting event in Ascension
Parish. We thank the members of the
community who have supported this event
and the many local businesses who
contributed their time and the best food
in the state in support of this important
fundraiser,” she said.

The Rotary Club of Gonzales would like to

• No appointment necessary
but they are available
Caring for

• Covered 100% by your insurance
Ascension Parish for
Over 40 Years

Walk-In Medical Clinic

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609 E. Worthy Street (Across the Street from EA High School)
5
thank the following vendors, Theresa Council #2657, Lamen-
restaurants, and sponsors of the dola’s Supermarket, Little Caesar’s
Pizza, Mike Anderson’s Seafood, Mi
2017 Food Fest: Cocina, Mission Street Café, Out-
back Steakhouse, Pelican Landing
Allfax Specialties, Ascension Coun- Seafood House, Popingo’s Conven-
cil on Aging, Ascension Magazine, ience Stores, Pot & Paddle Jamba-
Ascension Paper Products, Parish of laya Kitchen, Ralph’s Market,
Ascension, Ascension Parish Rouse’s Market, Sarita’s Grill &
Tourism Commission, Baskin Rob- Cantina, Sno’s Seafood & Steak
bins, Bernardo’s Catering, Blue House, Tee Wayne’s Cajun Cooking,
Runner, C&C Treasures, Cabela’s, UCB, and Veron Smoked Sausage.
Carli-Co Café, Casa Maria, Chan-
nel 21, Chef John Folse Events, Chef
KD Louisiana Legends, Coca-Cola,
Community Coffee, Coors, Country
Kitchen, Cypress Chauve District of
the Boys Scouts, Don’s Seafood,
Dutch’s Steak & Seafood, EATEL,
Gonzales Fire Department, the
Grapevine Café, GSA Consulting
Engineers, Ichiban, Izzo’s Illegal
Burrito, Jambalaya Festival Associ-
ation, Jumonville’s Baker, Kamal’s
Kafe Lebanese Cuisine, KC of St.
Amant Council #6389, KC of St.

BBQ Coming Soon!
Ribs • Chicken • Brisket

• Prime Rib
Baked Beans & Potato Salad

(upon request)

Tues ... Steak Night

Geaux Tigers
Wed ...... AYCE Crawfish
We’ll See You at ‘The Box’ Thur ...... AYCE Shrimp Kids Meal Night
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Wednesday

The Fresh Seafood
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6
St. Elizabeth Hospital Hosts 2017 Golf Classic
“ The Whitney Bank Team – “The Ascension Magazine Team – “The Executone Team – Donnie Coppola, Tommy Berthelot,
Paul Kyle, Jeff Gould, Ryan Girouard, and Greg Scott.” Bill DeLaune, Sam Livigne, Mike Strong, and Chad Braud.” Bill King, and Johny Dunham.”

On Monday, March 27, 2017, St. Elizabeth Hospi-
tal held its 16th Golf Classic at the Links at Pelican
Point. The weather was absolutely beautiful—a mix-
ture of constant sunshine and a cooling breeze. The
golf scramble, benefitting St. Elizabeth Community
Education and Outreach programs, hinges on part-
nerships with local businesses and corporations to
help make the event a success.

St. Elizabeth was blessed with outstanding commu-
nity partners again this year. Pathology Group of
Louisiana and Baton Rouge Radiology both gra-
ciously supported the tournament as Sustaining
Sponsors. EATEL, Whitney Bank, Rubicon LLC. All
sponsored at the Gold Level. Majestic Medical Solu-
tions, Vaughn Roofing, Lake Urgent Care, Him-
mel’s Architectural Doors & Hardware, St.
Elizabeth Physicians, Executone of Louisiana, Our
Lady of the Lake, Tiger Honda, DON’s Seafood,
Stuart & Co General Contractors, and Assumption
Community Hospital all sponsored a hole on the
course.

A total 16 teams competed for the first, second and

7
third place titles. The Execu-
tone team, represented by Don-
nie Coppola, Tommy Berthelot,
Bill King and Johny Dunham,
took first place. The Ascension
Magazine team, including Mike
Strong, Sam Lavigne, Chad
Braud and Bill DeLaune, placed
second. The Whitney Bank
team, with Paul Kyle, Jeff
Gould, Ryan Girourard, and
Greg Scott, placed third.

Golfers also competed in three
contest throughout the day: of Louisiana team. Mike Orban
Closest to the Pin, Longest with EATEL, took home the
Drive, and Hole in One. The prize for the Longest Drive
Closest to the Pin contest was contest. Even though no one
won by Mike Lawson who made a hole in one, many came
played for the Pathology Group close.

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8
The success of this event is
shared with the amazing team
of volunteers that made it
happen. A host of hospital
team members, Franciscan
Missionaries of Our Lady
Health System Materials
Management team members,
and St. Elizabeth Physicians
team members contributed
their time, effort and enthusi-
asm to ensure the tourna-
ment’s success. Thank you for
helping create a healthier
community!

9
Gonzales Garden Club Hosts Flower Show
The April 5th gathering of Lorraine Gautreau
the Gonzales Garden Club Loretta Ramirez
included a business meeting
and a flower show reception at the
Gonzales library then a celebratory
luncheon excursion. Hostesses for
the day were Weezie Cashat and
Janis D’Benedetto.
New business brought an
announcement from Grant
Committee Chairman Jamie Trisler
that the St. Amant High School4-
H Club won a grant from the
Louisiana Garden Club Federation Jamie Trisler
for the replacement of garden
tools, horticulture equipment and
a storage shed destroyed by the This month’s horticulture hint
August flood. The sizable grant is to plant caladium tubers in beds
award totaled $5,785. The or containers now. Garden main-
tenance at Kidz Kove and the
Sponsor Mandy Delaune, who Jambalaya Park will be scheduled were viewing the Annual Floral
Lorraine Gautreau though email communication
itemized the equipment needs in Design and Horticulture Specimen
the grant, and to SAHS Principal among the committee members. Exhibit near the entrance to the
Mia Edwards, who supported the Lastly, new club officers were library. Thirteen niches were
efforts of the grant committee. elected for the 2017-18 term. displayed by eleven members:
The garden club’s annual Officers assuming their positions in Weezie Cashat, Janis D’Benedetto,
fundraiser plant and bake sale will September of 2017 are President Lorraine Gautreau, Barbara Mc-
be held April 28 from 9:00am until Jamie Trisler, Vice President Mary
2:00pm at Gonzales City Hall. Jo Pohlig, Treasurer Cynthia
Members were reminded of the Cagnolatti, Recording Secretary Priscilla Monson
needs for the event such as display Gwen Heck, Corresponding
Secretary Lorraine Gautreau,
Parliamentarian Barbara
McCormick, and Historian
Ellen Richmond.
Gonzales Garden Club voted to After the business meeting, the
donate an additional $215 to bring club mingled with the public who
the total amount awarded to the
SAHS 4-H to $6,000. Tentative
plans are underway to present a
check for that amount possibly at
the May 3rd GGC meeting to 4H Patti Mouton Donna Reynaud

Weezie Cashat

Marilyn Rice

tables, wagons, bags and boxes.
Members delineated types of sale
items such plants, bulbs and
cuttings, second hand garden tools
and décor, and freshly baked
cookies, brownies and cakes.
Proceeds fund the club’s year-
round civic projects.
Mary Jo Pohlig
Cormick, Priscilla Monson, Janis D'Benedetto
Patti Mouton, Mary Jo Pohlig,
Loretta Ramirez, Donna
Reynaud, Marilyn Rice, and
Jamie Trisler. Most visitors
spent a thoughtful bit of time
deciding which design deserved
their vote for the People’s
Choice Award. The club
appreciated the public’s interest
in their floral

Marilyn Rice
Barbara McCormick
creations. Winners will be
announced at the May club
meeting.
GGC members left for
Houmas House for their
traditional post-exhibit
luncheon where they traded
stories on how their floral
designs came to fruition and
toyed with ideas for next year’s
flower show.

Tuesday thru Saturday Nights
luminous glow. Great thing is it
has a ‘self adapting’ pigment
that allows most skin tones to
use this one color product.

Despite it having a hefty price
tag, this under eye “cure” has a
cult following, and is worth
the price tag. You may find
this product online or at
finer outlets.

A Moment
to Reflect-
Easter is here, and it’s not about
bunnies or colored eggs. It’s
about our risen Savior, Jesus.
This “holiday” is as special as
Christmas in my family, because
we celebrate the fact that our
Savior defeated death, and if we
believe in Him, we defeat death
as well.

chemical sunscreens! line from
Health – Barcelona
It may cost a bit more but zinc called Natura
This has been an unseasonably oxide sunscreens like elta md Bisse’. I’d
warm spring Ascension, which boast zinc that provide: natural never heard
makes me “spring” into skin skin protection preventing of it, but I
protection mode. If we don’t burns, epidermal and wound must say the
protect our skin, then too often healing, skin oiliness, infections products
we have to grab the aloe and and acne. Of course all made a
Tylenol for some quick relief. sunscreens provide protection difference in
from burning, but this one is my skin.
So, first things first – use a natural and may actually
sunscreen. Those with zinc are provide additional soothing One product
best. I prefer elta md broad and healing properties. in particular
spectrum UVA/UVB called The
sunscreen. This line comes in You can find the elta md line Cure Sheer
all types of coverage levels and online and at finer drugstores. Eye ab-
for full body or face. What solutely
makes this sunscreen different? made my
Well, the critical component in Beauty – eyes feel
this line is zinc oxide, which and look
gives the skin a natural I recently had a fab facial and refreshed.
protection. No thank you the place I went used a product All you need
is just a dot
of this
slightly
pigmented
eye cream to fight the look of So, as you cut the ham, boil the
fatigue. bugs, and hide the eggs this
Easter, take time to remember
This cream offers hyaluronic why we celebrate this blessed
acid, (abundant in younger event. Thank God that if we
skin) which hydrates the skin believe in Him, we do not
and water ivy and Ruscus which have to perish, but have
calm and decongest the skin, everlasting life.
ultimately minimizing the look
of dark circles and puffiness. Happy Easter Ascension!

This “cure” cream actually
repairs the skin while giving a

12
13
Soza Weight Loss Clinic Awards
60 Day Slim-Down Challenge Winner
Congratulations Charlene Chiasson
The Results are in! was Christy smaller and healthier than I was in
Jackson losing high school. Was it easy? Not all
Wow, it is hard to believe that 4.79%. These 10 the time. Was it work? Yes. Was I
another year has come and gone! challengers lost a determined? Yes. Am I glad I stuck
For Soza Weight Loss, that means combined weight with it? Yes, that was five years ago
we have reached the end of of 198.5 pounds and I have kept the weight off. To
another 60 Day Slim-Down and 137.65 inches top it off, I am now the owner of
Challenge. The Challenge is held – great job ladies the clinic, in the driver’s seat,
annually beginning in January and and gents!!!! teaching, coaching and
continues until March. It coincides The most encouraging others that they too
perfectly with New Year’s and all rewarding part of can be successful if they are willing
the resolutions made to lose weight my job at Soza to commit to the changes that
and get healthy. Our goal during Weight Loss is must be made.
these 60 days is not just to produce watching the On a final note, I must give
a winner, but to guide and teach all transformations thanks to the merchants who make
contestants the importance of take place. our prize packages so amazing!
making the necessary lifestyle It is such a joy Without their help and support our
changes to help them lose weight to see depression contest would not be the success
and keep it off. Our goal is that and low self-es- that it is each year. So a great big
they will discover what foods are teem transform thanks to:
right for their bodies. You cannot into smiles, Dr. Gray Bailey, Absolute
put all people in the same “diet” happiness and Quality Care Dentistry, Ronnie
box; we all have different dietary self-confidence. Trosclair, Ralph’s, Summer
and nutritional needs. We can When the Perkins, Roussel’s, Tyler
however start with a general food Left to right, Karen Sigur, owner of Soza Weight Loss physical Terrebonne, Sunset Smoothie,
outline and expand or narrow it and 2017 Challenge Winner, Charlene Chiasson appearance Buddy deGeneres, Monogramming
from there based on an individual’s becomes Unlimited, Jerri Breaux, Pampered
health and body needs. Our prizes to be awarded only to the
passion at Soza Weight Loss is to Top-10. Our winners were
bring our client’s back to the basics determined by percentage of body
of cooking and eating fresh weight lost over the 60 day period.
proteins, fruits and vegetables. We I am excited to announce the
want to educate them on the top-10 winners (or should I say
hidden sugars, chemicals and losers) for 2017:
GMO’s that are being added to Grand Prize Winner, Charlene
today’s food sources and how to Chiasson who lost 13.17% of her
determine if they are in the food body fat in just 60 days!!! 2nd
they are consuming and serving to place went to Carnell Vessel losing
their family. In today’s fast pace 10.9% (and he started a week later
society, we want everything quick than everyone else). 3rd place was
and easy – just drive through and Ann Jackson losing 8.57%, 4th
pick it up! Unfortunately, your Anthony Jackson losing 8%, 5th
health is not something you can Shawanda Morris losing 7.79%, 6th
swing by and pick up after work – Latisha Garrett losing 7.14%, 7th
it requires some work from you! Georgia Grimes losing 7.09%, 8th
This year’s contest began with 17 Theresa Bearden losing 6.43%, 9th From left to right, Mary Joseph, Theresa Bearden, Georgia Grimes, Latisha Garrett,
contestants, 14 women and 3 men, Mary Joseph losing 5.90% and Ann Jackson, Carnell Vessel, and our Challenge winner Charlene Chiasson.

all vying for over $3600 worth of rounding out the Top-10 in 10th
accepting to an individual, the Chef, Michelle Tranchina , St.

Before After
entire psyche is affected. I have Michel’s Day Spa, The Vintage
walked this road before all of my Salon – Hair by Amber Leigh
clients. I was at one time 50 Mayers and of course Soza
pounds overweight trying every Weight Loss!
anti-depressant known to man.
Unfortunately, they only caused
me to gain more weight, leading to
deeper depression and stronger
meds. Five years ago, in March of
2012, I walked into this clinic as a
client. I was beat down and worn
out from trying every “diet
program” out there. I really did
not want to try something else, but
for whatever reason I gave this
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Microblading Q&A
What is microblading?
Microblading is a technique that manually deposits pigment into
the skin using a special pen, creating hair like strokes one
by one. It's an extremely meticulous process that takes around two
hours to complete. Microblading will help give you the brows
you’ve always wanted, whether that be filling in your natural shape The technician will help you decide what shape is best for you and
or totally recreating your look. will draw that design onto your face before the microblading
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will apply numbing cream to the brow area and begin the
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How long do the results last?
Like any other customized procedure, results vary from person to
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How does it work? 12 -18 months. The color will be slightly darker than your hair in
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Microblading shares some characteristics with tattooing, but is will fade to match your natural color in just a short time. We
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a very customized and more comfortable procedure. The touch-up, and after that your brows are good to go for an entire
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15
Chamber Members have
Fun in Their Spare Time!
Strikes and Spares were the name of the game at the the winners were recognized, a reception was held for
Ascension Chamber of Commerce’s 5th Annual Bowling all players in the VIP area of Premier Lanes.
Tournament held Monday, March 13th at Premier
Lanes in Gonzales. Atmos Energy presented this year’s First place was Irritable Bowl Syndrome (Domain
bowling event where Chamber Member Teams battled Architecture), in 2nd place was Ascension Paper
for medals and bragging rights! Small Business and Products and 3rd place was taken by Tau Tappers
Industry were represented and spent a fun-filled (St. Elizabeth).
evening bowling, eating pizza and networking. After

16
17
Trinity Kicking is a kicking and punting instructional are familiar with having your athletes attend these elimination rounds and if you are ‘not’ one of the time his response was that he’d had a great time
organization based in Gonzales and Dallas. Its camps, you already know that these organizations country’s best, you will spend the greatest part of and that he had been taught virtually nothing.
method of teaching basic technical fundamentals is will throw 150-250 kids on the field at once, your time watching this play out. It can cost a family
designed to train kicking specialists in the same including punters, kickers, and snappers. There is as much as $1000 to attend these competition
manner that coaches world-wide use to develop little or no instructional time at these ‘competition camps when one factors hotel, plane ticket, camp, Trinity Kicking limits its sessions to 10 athletes at a
football players at every other position on the team. camps’. Their stated mission is to identify the best and food costs. I realized this as I was sending my time and does not mix disciplines. “We have a
kickers around the country and they tout their value son to them. Each time he attended one of these 2/10 coach-to-athlete ratio which allows us to
Trinity is headed by former Dutchtown High School as having the ability to connect athletes with major camps my wife and I worried about our young son afford each specialist a great degree of individual-
Kicker/Punter Conner Fryoux. Conner, now an NFL universities thus enhancing the athletes chances of out on the road, traveling in today’s world alone. ized attention. The vast majority of schools, and that
free-agent, was a dual specialist at the University of landing an athletic scholarship at the ‘Big’ schools. For many families, today’s environment of elevated includes all the way through Division 1, don’t have a
Louisiana at Monroe and Nicholls State. He has It is our belief, and most coaches agree, that if you consciousness regarding concussion protocol has “kicking coach” on staff. Most coaches will readily
become one of the most recognized ‘teachers’ of work hard and get yourself to the point that you are created a heightened sensibility to avoid serious admit that they know very little about how to kick
these specialties in the nation. one of the elite at your position, you don’t need to head injuries. This has led to an increase in the or how to teach it,” said Conner.
find them…these schools will find you.” interest of learning these skills. I trained Conner, as
“Our purpose is to train young athletes in basic well as many other young athletes over the past “I have been involved in the world of athletics for
fundamental techniques in these positions”, Conner Joey Fryoux, Assistant Coach and Business Manager twenty years and felt my son could benefit from over 50 years,” Joey told us. “One thing I have
said. “We differ from every other national kicking for Trinity added, “There is little or no instruction at other perspectives. Each time upon his return, I learned is that most coaches entered into their
organization in the country in several ways. If you these competitions. The camp is a series of would inquire as to what he had been taught. Each profession because they want to help develop young

Trinity athletes are given individualized attention and direction as they prepare to perform at some of the sport’s biggest events.

18
Trinity athletes are given mental strengthening tools to help them on their journey.

people. They want to help them learn the lessons
that young people will be able to carry forward and
to use throughout their lives. Lessons like work
ethic, and sacrifice, and teamwork. Consequently,
their biggest fear is to do harm. The result is that Precise technical fundamentals taught at Trinity sessions shows specialists ‘How To Work’ at their craft.
kickers, punters, and snappers tend to be left on
their own to learn and to practice…to work on their university level, and
craft. Many are self taught and don’t even know beyond. We have worked
how to practice. They will invariably develop bad with athletes from LSU,
habits or poor techniques. The result is that these Alabama, Nicholls State,
athletes must spend many hours to ‘un-learn’ which Clemson, Georgia, Lamar,
is a very difficult process. University of Texas,
Southeastern Louisiana,
For the price of $299 total, Trinity Kicking offers Kansas, and Mississippi
6-hours of on field instruction over two days.These State to name a few.The
sessions are ‘station based’ similar to the way most older kickers learn a great
football practices are structured. Additionally, any deal about leadership as
school sending an athlete may also send a coach to they work near these
attend the sessions and learn the process of this younger guys. I know when
instruction, essentially developing its own on-staff I was that age, I would
kicking coach. hear the instructions and
try to perform them, but themselves. It’s easy to say you want something.
Trinity Kicking sessions are intense and focused the best way for me to learn was often when I saw The question is ‘Are you willing to work for it’?
periods of concentration and work. The result will be some of the older guys that my Dad would work The most meaningful things in life are the things
that athletes attending will leave with a with. I felt really good when I got a little older and you work for.”
comprehensive ‘blue print’ of how each specialist was able to help some of the kids as they got
can develop into the best that they can be. They will started. Kicking properly is difficult to learn, and If you are interested in finding your starting point, if
receive instruction and information pertaining to learning to punt properly is exponentially more you need help improving you fundamentals and
fundamental technique drills, proper warm-up difficult. Eventually it comes down to doing the techniques, if you need help learning to focus and
practices, proper work-out and lifting exercises work. Our motto ‘Hard Work Beats Talent…When the level of commitment needed to be your best, if
specific to kickers, nutritional plans, a film of their Talent Doesn’t Work Hard’ sums up our philosophy you are ready to learn how to WORK at your craft,
kicks at the camp with voice-over instruction and pretty well. It is THE message we try to deliver Trinity Kicking could be your answer.
correction, a practice plan, mental strengthening to all our athletes.”
Trinity’s instructional camps allow athletes of all ages and
levels of advancement to attend. methods, and a Trinity Kicking TrinityKicking.com is the site to find out how
Shirt. Once the camp is over, “You have to realize,” Joey concludes, “this is not to get involved with the fastest growing kicking
the staff at Trinity will be the end of the journey for these specialists. It is the organization in the country. The next scheduled
available to help move each ‘Very Beginning’ of it. Many young kickers, and camp in our area will be:
kicker forward on his path. especially punters, will regress for a time as they APRIL 27, 28, and 30 at Lutcher High School.
Athletes who may encounter commit to the program of learning proper f For more information contact them at
trouble with the techniques, undamental techniques, of learning how and what trinitykicking@gmail.com or call
especially those who have to practice is, of learning what it means to sacrifice and Joey Fryoux @ 225-413-5792 or
overcome bad habits, can work, and dedicate themselves to attaining their Conner Fryoux @ 225-955-2446.
simply take a short video on dreams. You can’t win the race if you can’t find the
their phone and send it to starting line. This stuff is not easy and we tell the
Trinity coaches for guys that our sessions will expose them to
assessment. They will also be
given a code which allows
them to enter the Trinity Den
where they can communicate
in real time with young
kickers from around the
country who are also a part
of the Trinity family.

Conner continued, “Since we

TRINITY KICKING
are not a competition camp,
we have specialists of varying
ages at our sessions. We
have specialists in Middle
Trinity Kicking can help young athletes reach for their biggest dreams. School, High School, the NFL Free Agent Conner Fryoux works out for New Orleans Saints

19
Special Teams Coordinator.
encourage an elder to take to requires that anyone who
YOUR ESTATE MATTERS help protect themselves from
exploitation or abuse. They
suspects elder abuse report it,
and failure to report is a crime.
By Linda Melancon can take care of their own Adult/Elderly Protective
health, and seek professional Services has a toll-free hotline
assistance for physical or that Louisiana residents can
elder’s signature on mental health concerns. call to report suspected abuse
documents, or engage in Consulting a qualified advisor at 1-800-898-4910. You may
identity theft. to have documents such as also want to contact an elder
wills or powers of attorney law attorney to find out what
Financial exploitation drafted, and reviewing those remedies are available if a
of elders can also come in the documents regularly to know loved one has been the victim
form of drafting or changing what they contain, can be of financial exploitation. You
their estate planning beneficial. Staying active in the can visit the website for the
documents, such as their wills community and in touch with Governor’s Office of Elderly
Elder Abuse: or powers of attorney. You may friends and family can help Affairs at goea.louisiana.gov
have read recently of the local prevent social isolation, which and select the Protective and
Don’t Let case of 95-year-old Helen has been connected to elder Advocacy Services tab if you’d
Someone Hurt Plummer. A board member of
the East Baton Rouge Parish
abuse. They should have their
own phone, open their own
like more information about
Adult/Elderly Protective
the Ones You Council on Aging drew up Ms. mail, and never provide Services and the services
Love Plummer’s will, and the will
named the executive director
personal information over the
phone. These are all fairly
they offer.

of the Council on Aging as the simple measures elders can Ms. Melancon has engaged in
If you knew someone was executrix of Ms. Plummer’s take to protect their own the practice of law in Ascension
causing harm to your elderly estate, with compensation to well-being. Parish for the last eighteen
parent, you’d want to stop it. years. The primary focus of her
be paid to her for serving in practice is estate planning,
How, then, can you be aware that position. Ms. Plummer’s Be proactive in taking probate, special needs planning
that your aging loved one is family had no idea this had measures to protect your and elder law. For more
suffering abuse at the hands of been done until after their elderly loved ones from abuse information or to attend an
a caregiver or someone in a loved one’s death, when the or exploitation and in upcoming estate planning
position where they should be executive director of the encouraging them to protect seminar, call her office at
providing assistance? themselves. Louisiana law (225) 744-0027.
Council on Aging contacted
them to let them know she was
Elder abuse is more common in charge of Ms. Plummer’s
than one might think, and is estate. The family is disputing

Hey Dr. Rob,
often perpetrated by someone the matter. This situation

I have a question,
close to the elderly person. clearly illustrates the impor-

after my nap.
According to the National tance of being aware of what’s
Council on Aging, approxi-

Me too,
happening in the lives of our
mately one in ten Americans elderly loved ones, and how

after my nap.
age 60 or older have been easily someone can take
subjected to some form of advantage of a senior who may
elder abuse, and one study has not realize the true import of
shown that only one in the actions they are being
fourteen cases of elder abuse encouraged to take.
are reported. In almost 60% of
reported incidents, the abuser It may be difficult to
is a family member, and determine if an elder is being
two-thirds of the abusers are exploited, as a caregiver may
adult children or spouses. dismiss concerns as signs of an
elderly person’s frailty or
One common form of elder symptoms of dementia. Be
abuse is financial exploitation, aware of what’s going on with
the use or acquisition of the an elder family member’s
elder’s funds by a caregiver or financial affairs and don’t be
third party without authoriza- afraid to ask questions. Often,
tion. A caregiver can exploit being mindful of your loved
the elder in his or her care by one’s situation and inquiring
misusing an elderly person’s into suspicious circumstances A SCENSI ON PA RI SH
checks, credit cards or may be enough to stop the
accounts. The caregiver could
also steal cash, checks or
exploitation before it starts. A N I M A L H O S P I TA L
household goods, forge the There are also steps you can 225.744.4905
20
"Proudly Sponsored by Dutchtown Physical Therapy"

Awarded Employee of the Year
Ruth Brown
Congratulations to Dutchtown Primary
School Support Employee of the Year
Ruth Brown. School staff work
tirelessly to support their students.
From teachers cultivating curiosity to
food service staff dishing up nutritious
meals, and the bus drivers that are
getting our Eagles to and from school
everyday! The dedication of school
staff is evident! Yet, often we forget to
support these hardworking school
employees! Ms. Brown is one of our
exceptional bus drivers. She is the
first to greet a child in the morning and
the last one to wish them a good
afternoon at the end of the day.
Ms. Brown is loved by not only her
students passengers on her route,
but by the many other students she
provides a safe route to school when
she runs additional routes for absent
drivers. Our teachers, staff and
leadership, along with the parents
recognize and appreciate her and
our other support staff that make our
school a special place to learn, grow
and work every day!

Congratulations Ms. Ruth for a Job Well Done!

"Your Community
Physical Therapy
Provider" for
almost a decade.

Stephen Jackson, PT, DPT

(225) 744-3631 • fax (225) 744-3647
DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY • 13053 HIGHWAY 73, SUITE B • GEISMAR, LOUISIANA 70734

21
WHICH ORAL This is why it’s so important to erosion and cavities. Since dry Oral Cancer
check in with your dentist. mouth increases your cavity risk,
HEALTH While you may not necessarily it’s imperative to address this Although oral cancer can affect
notice the signs of gum disease, symptom with your dentist or
CONCERNS your dentist will. If you notice doctor. You may consider
anyone, two-thirds of people
who have oral cancer are over
SHOULD YOU bleeding while brushing, switching medications or just the age of 55. In fact, people
sensitive teeth, or red gums, it’s sipping on water more often often aren’t diagnosed with oral
WATCH FOR AS time to visit your dentist throughout the day! cancer until they’re 62. This
YOU AGE? because you could be seeing means that older adults have an
signs of gum disease. Know Tooth Loss increased risk of developing oral
that your age is a risk factor for cancer. Luckily, your dentist can
getting gum disease! Losing teeth is not a natural perform an oral cancer
By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD consequence of aging.
Ascension Premier Dental screening at your next checkup.
Dry Mouth However, if you’re experiencing This simple screening involves
gum disease, tooth decay, or checking your mouth, face, and
Getting older increases our risk Our teeth and gums need saliva even dry mouth, you do have an neck for any unusual lumps or
for several health problems, to stay healthy. Not only does increased risk for tooth loss as appearances. Early detection can
including those with our oral saliva help prevent bad breath you age. Older adults are also at increase your chances of a
health. Even if you’ve been and enamel erosion, it also helps risk for bone loss, including successful treatment!
taking great care of your smile balance oral bacteria that can osteoporosis. Staying active and
for years, you could still lead to cavities. If you’re on getting enough calcium and Getting older doesn’t have to
experience an increased risk of medication, one of the side vitamin D are essential to mean that your oral health
tooth and gum problems as you effects you may be experiencing keeping teeth and bones healthy declines. However, by being
age. Visiting your dentist can is dry mouth. Many different and strong. aware of these oral health
keep your smile healthy and types of medications can cause problems among older adults,
ready to shine on throughout dry mouth, from high blood If you do lose a tooth, it’s im- you can know your risk for
your retirement years! What pressure medications to even perative to replace it. Talk with developing gum disease, oral
oral health concerns should you depression and anxiety your dentist about your options cancer, and having dry mouth
watch out for as you age? medications. for missing teeth, which can or experiencing tooth loss.
help prevent further bone and Getting regular checkups can
Gum Disease When you have dry mouth, tooth loss! help prevent and manage
your body isn’t producing many of these problems. Age
Your risk for getting gum enough saliva to protect your gracefully and smile big well
disease increases as you age. teeth. This can lead to enamel into your senior years!

HEALTHY
SMILES FOR
THE WHOLE
FAMILY
EMERGENCIES WELCOME
• IV Sedation
• Invisalign Certified
• Laser-Assisted Decay Detection
• Porcelain Veneers
• Implants
• Wisdom Teeth

Ascension
PREMIER DENTAL
Calvin G. Bessonet, DDS, FAGD
13375 Hwy 73, Suite 1 • Geismar, LA 70734 • Call: 225.673.6910 • www. AscensionDentist.com
22
Ascension Premier Dental
Celebrates 10 Years
After 10 years in the Dutchtown Crossing recently revamped our website and with
Shopping Center, Ascension Premier ease you will find new patient forms,
Dental has conveniently relocated to a video testimonials from patients, written
new free standing brick building less than patient reviews, coupons, information on
a mile away. We are now located at 13053 all of our in-house services along with
Hwy 73, Ste A, in Geismar, across the before and after photos of cases Dr.
street from Dutchtown Middle on the Bessonet has completed. Some of the
same side as Dutchtown Highschool highlights of Dr. Bessonet’s advanced
nearest Dutchtown Pharmacy. We have a skills include IV Sedation, Dental
large digital sign that displays important Implants, Microscopic Dentistry,
information to our patients and the Invisalign, Six Month Orthodontics,
community making us more visible and Porcelain Veneers, Botox and more. We
easier to locate. We absolutely love the pride ourselves on excellent customer
transition and look forward to showcasing service and quality care and we are
our new office to the community. If you currently accepting all patients. Stop by
would like a virtual tour of our office you and meet our staff and tour our
can go online to office in person.
www.ascensiondentist.com. We have

23
exchange, for trade dollars accepted by fellow for goods or services using a currency called trade
members, says Tim Bergstresser Executive Director dollars. These trade dollars, can be spent with
of Jambalaya Trade Exchange (JTEX). anyone else in the system, which opens worlds of
possibilities. In our simplest form, we are merely a
JTEX was established in 2012 in Ascension Parish, payment-processing system that aggressively sells
LA., and is an independent trade exchange that is for member businesses and promotes those
a part of the Trade Authority network of trade businesses to other members.
exchanges. Local exchanges are now in 13 cities
through the southeast region of the USA. Trade Let’s say we have a member who needs dental
Authority facilitated over $20 million in work. Using our member directory, they can choose

JTEX Celebrates 5 Years
business-to-business trades last year and its a local Dentist, make an appointment and get
member exchanges have over 3400 members their work done. Payment is made using their
who use trade on a regular basis. membership card. When processed, trade dollars are
immediately transferred from the buyers account to
The idea of barter (or trade), hasn’t reached the Dentists account. Pretty simple. The Dentist now
anywhere near critical mass. But it’s really catching can use those new trade dollars with any other
on. The main obstacle to organized barter, like member business he (or she) chooses.
Five years ago, a group of savvy business owners fastest growing trade groups in the Southeast
JTEX, is a misconception about the word “barter.”
saw a need to create a business barter network in region of the USA. JTEX has helped many small
People still think about barter like trading a If you would like to learn more about JTEX or to see
Ascension Parish that would increase their business. businesses struggling with low demand and slow
peanut-butter-and-jelly for a salami sandwich at the if barter is a good fit for your business,
Their goal was to bring trade business to local cash flow in the wake of a tough economy, an
school lunch table. That’s direct trading. contact Tim Bergstresser at 225-205-9639
businesses that would help grow its members’ age-old idea could drive new business: barter.
or e-mail tim@jtex.org or
businesses cash flow and market share.
Barter within an organized exchange network like Rick Greene at 225-650-7454
The 220 plus members of Jambalaya Trade
JTEX, is not a direct trade between two members;
Five years later and 6 million dollars in trades and Exchange (JTEX) can conserve cash and expand
that’s all wrong. It’s a system that allows payment
over 35,000 transactions later, JTEX is one of the reach by selling their products and services on its

The Bug Man
your one stop shop. We also carry all of your best weapon. We have four service areas
favorite brands such as Nike, OGIO, Gildan, which are located in Baton Rouge Ascension,
Bella & Canvas, Next Level, Sport-Tek, Charles Lafayette and New Orleans. Our staff of over
River, and many more. Let us be your supplier The Bug Man is Baton Rouge’s leader in pest 25 technicians totals more than 250 years of
for any of your professional and unique apparel control and termite protection. We have served pest-control experience. The Bug Man’s territory
needs. We are locally owned and have been Baton Rouge and its neighbors for over 40 stretches as far west as Lake Charles, as far

Monogramings
years. At The Bug Man, pest knowledge is our north and east as the Louisiana state line and
operating since 2000. At Monogramming
Unlimited we take great pride in all of our as far south as Grand Isle.

Unlimited
work, Pleasing OUR customers is our #1 goal. The Bug Man services residential, industrial,
and commercial properties. We love using our
trade dollars in JTEX! We always look to see if
we can use our trade dollars before our cash!

Call today to get on The Bug Man plan
Monogramming Unlimited is here for all of 923-BUGS!
your corporate and individual needs. We
offer in house screen printing and embroidery,
also offering promotional items, business
cards, awards, trophies, and plaques.
Whether your order is a corporate event, a
family reunion or a small family trip, we are

Kopy Kats Ascension
CALL MONOGRAMMING UNLIMITED 225.644.0464 CALL THE BUG MAN 225.644.8429

Printing Tree and Stump
In our business, we take every opportunity to Removal
use JTEX over cash. Recently we purchased a
new office for our Baton Rouge location. We We specialize in dangerous take downs, Live Oak
hired everyone from electricians and plumbers care and Palm tree maintenance. We are also one
to painters and landscapers - all on trade. of the few tree companies in the surrounding
For our entire renovation, we used over areas capable of doing a tree appraisal for
25 different trade vendors and spent over insurance companies. We remove, trim, prune
$35K in trade! and provide estimates and/or consultations for all
types of tree work. We grind stumps and sell
TRACEY AND BART ZIMMERMAN seasoned fire wood.
Kopy Kats can take care of all
your business and social
printing needs. We specialize Ascension Tree and Stump is locally owned by
in Wedding Invitations too. Patrick Sigur, Jr. He is a licensed arborist and has
been in operation since 1998.
PATRICK SIGUR

226 S. Burnside • Gonzales, LA 70737
CALL KOPY KATS PRINTING 225.647.7903 CALL ASCENSION TREE AND STUMP 225.622.6475
Ascension
Center for
Dr. Adams and ACWH became part of the newly formed
Jambalaya Trade Exchange (JTEX) in 2012. He felt that

Women’s Health
joining a network of innovative small-businesses like
ACWH could not only broaden his patient/customer base,
but also free-up cash
capital while growing
his business. “I
realized the benefits of
Jason D. Adams, M.D., trade within the first
F.A.C.O.G., established 6 months of joining. Smile again, with
Ascension Center for Coming up with Do you smile or talk like this? Because you are embarrassed of this?
Women’s Health (ACWH)
SAME DAY BRIDGES!
$4500 cash for a
in June, 2005 - the first child’s braces is not
and still only full-time easy, but trade dollars Our vision is to help patients get healthy and stay Dr. Bailey states, “Once you learn to spend your
women’s health clinic in SARAH BANKERT
made it easy.” JTEX members also healthy while they feel great about the care they JTEX dollars, there is no limit on what you will be
Ascension Parish. Since benefit tremendously from ACWH being part of the receive from each team member at Absolute willing to make”.
then, he and his staff network. “It is not uncommon to see $50-$75 copays Quality Care Family Dentistry. Dr. Gray Bailey
have provided DR. JASON ADAMS
and $3000 deductibles. Insurance certainly doesn’t insists that patient care trumps anything else
personalized, top-quality, and convenient health care cover any cosmetic services offered in the Med Spa (i.e.
services to over 12,000 patients. Dr. Adams, Nurse
going on in our office and he strives to provide our
Botox, facials, chemical peels, Image SkinCare products), patients with the latest technology in dentistry.
Practitioner Sarah Bankert and the entire ACWH staff or all-nature BioTE
focus on the overall wellness of their patients. This bio-identical hormone
unique approach consists of offering a complete line of Dr. Bailey helped to establish the Jambalaya Trade
replacement
health services including: OB/GYN; On-site lab, therapy. But JTEX
Exchange organization and has served as
ultrasound, bone density, mammograms; Primary trade dollars work president. As an active member, he has been one
and Urgent Care; Medical Weight Loss; and just fine.” of the top traders in the group every year and
Med Spa Services. considers it an integral part of his business.
www.PrairievilleDentist.com

St. Michel Nooley’s
CALL ACWH 225.647.2294 CALL ABSOLUTE QUALITY CARE 225.673.9535

Day Spa
you to discover. We offer Massages, Body for us to grow our business. We even bought a vehicle
Treatments, Skin Care, and Special Spa on trade!"
Packages. Call us to make an appointment Special congratulations to the Couvillion’ s daughter, Lisa
Nooley's poboys wings and curly cues is a locally owned
38113 Post Office Rd, Ste. 3 full service restaurant on Hwy 44 in Prairieville. Charmin Riley for her pending nuptials in November, as well as her
Prairieville, Louisiana 70769 and Jacob Couvillion opened Nooley's 5 years ago to graduation from SELU in May! Way to go Lisa!
We love using trade dollars. My best trade was (225) 673-8682 provide delicious food in a casual, family
painting my office and replacing floors. My friendly environment. Nooley's also offers full
landlord agreed to compensate me for the work service catering for weddings and other
and materials by reducing my rent. We also use special events!
trade for staff bonuses, staff parties, printing,
computer monitoring, and pest control. We even Nooley's is open 6 days a week Monday
through Saturday 11am until 9pm. They
use it to help staff with dental work or auto feature daily specials every weekday and have
trouble – (they just pay us back overtime). Wednesday night steak night which has been
very popular. Nooley's also offers full service
We get our family involved too. With three catering for weddings and other special
teenage daughters – braces would not have events!
been possible without trade. And when prom
Nooley's has been a member of the JTEX
time approaches we get dresses, flowers trade exchange for nearly 5 years. They have
limousines and dinners, all on trade. It’s a great been a top trader most of those years. Noo-
fit for most businesses! ley's owners Jacob & Charmin Couvillion say it best "JTEX
allows us to spend trade dollars where we would normally
St. Michel Day Spa, is a hidden gem waiting for have to expend valuable cash flow. It's been a great tool

Ascension Golf
CALL ST. MICHEL DAY SPA 225.673.8682 CALL NOOLEY’S 225.622.2244

Carts &
we normally

Powersports
would never
reach, like
Lafayette
and New
Orleans. We
love going
Established in

Dempsey’s
those places
2002, has to spend our
grown to one trade too.
of the souths TAYLOR - BATON ROUGE
Tonya has been a JTEX member for several
largest full-line Now serving the Baton Rouge and surrounding years and has become a favorite among many
EZGO/Bad areas from 2 locations, our original at 13439 of the JTEX membership!
Boy/Cushman Hwy 44 in Gonzales and our new location at Dempsey's is a home away from home.
dealers. 2016 13637 Airline Hwy in Baton Rouge. It has great food and reasonable prices that She uses her trade for both business and
Cushman www.ascensiongolfcarts.com make it perfect for family and friends to gather. personal spending. But most of all she likes to
National BILLY - GONZALES The wait staff is friendly, fun, and attentive in a get her house worked on!
Dealer Of The Year. New and used carts, delightfully casual atmosphere. Their homemade
electric, gas, and diesel as well as rentals, french fries and sweet tea are the best in town. 17535 Airline Highway • Prairieville, LA 70769
service, parts and accessories. We love everything that Tonya and her staff 225-450-3237
cook up!
We have found that trade works well for our “Dempsey’s is proud to say that they make everything from
business. It’s brought in business from places scratch and use fresh local Louisiana seafood”
Baton Rouge 225.408.3331 Gonzales 225.644.3371 CALL DEMPSEY’S 225.450.3237
The Hall for
All Occassions!
Accommodates up
to 300 guest.
• Full catering menu
• Outdoor Pavillion
for Weddings
• Space for seminars
• Business meetings
• Birthday parties
Call to set up an appointment
to view our venues.

225.677.5545
17425 Airline Hwy • Prairieville

27
For more than 20 years, we have developed, owned and
managed senior housing communities throughout
Louisiana and Georgia that provide alternative living
arrangements for seniors combining wellness, independence
and personal care in a warm dignified setting with over
100 years of personal and professional experience.

“Come Fall in love
with our
home-like
atmosphere"
2305 S. Purpera Avenue,
Gonzales, LA 70737

225.644.1028

28
food selection, the more you water conditions in general.
will be surprised by what's avail- Many anglers often cut open the
able. stomachs of fish to see what
Years ago I tagged along with they have been feeding on. The
a Louisiana Wildlife and Fish- problem with this process is that
eries biologist to do a browse you first have to catch one to
survey on one of the hunting make that diagnosis and they
clubs' land that I belong to. may also be feeding on other
The survey took place in July of things at the time.
that year. Now we all know that Just like your pet, wether it's
whitetails eat acorns, briars and a dog, cat, bird, horse or what-
corn. What we don't know ever (even include yourself) the
about is all of the other types of one thing we all look forward to
food they prefer and when they is supper time. Wild creatures
prefer to eat them. The list of by no means are any different in
browse plants that whitetails eat that respect, they have to eat to
were unbelievable. I learned survive. When game and fish are
THE NEED TO NEED more about what deer eat in
one eight hour period than I
preparing for reproduction, a
time they won't be able to feed
There's an old saying that if of food for others. had learned in forty years on my appropriately, they often go on
you're looking for people, all Animals need to eat to sur- own. feeding sprees to produce fat
you need to do is go to the gro- vive. Life is not easy in mother Recreational fishing is for and energy to carry them
cery store. Humans are in con- natures' environment. When sure a direct link between man through the reproduction
stant need of food. Fish and food supplies get low animals presenting a sometimes artifi- process. Other than times of
game are by no means any dif- will move or turn to eating less cial, and sometimes not, bait breeding, birthing, and spawn-
ferent. desirable nutrients to survive. presentation for the taking. Fish ing it's important to remember
Food supplies can often Seasons of good food supply also are typically found where that all living creatures have the
change from the beginning of create more production of the food they're feeding on is need to feed....
hunting season to the end of the young for the upcoming year present. Fish can be finicky crea-
season. Weather conditions such and seasons of poor food supply tures and although they have to
as thunder storms, droughts, can produce the opposite in eat to survive, it's not necessary Till Next Time,
cold fronts and rain can change terms of young being born. that they eat twenty-four seven.
the food source. In some cases It's important to pay close at- If they did, they probably See You Later, Got To
the change of a certain source of tention to what different species wouldn't have many left. Feed- Grab A Bite
food may create a new source of animals are feasting on while ing temptations for fish can be
for some species while at the you are in the outdoors. The controlled by pressures, spawn- James "Goosie" Guice
same time eliminating a source more you pay attention to this ing seasons, and naturally all

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225-644-7466 Ascension • 225-924-7096 Baton Rouge
Website www.BeebesPest.com
29
I Like Big Putts and I Can’t Lie
or Dude, Where’s My Par
by Bill Delaune

Every year after the Masters, I
get fired up and feel inclined (not
to be confused with my boat-the
“Miss Inclined”) to improve my
golf game so that I actually have
some remote idea in which
direction my ball is headed.
Most of the time I just enlist
the help of some of the best
golfers at the club who usually
offer some astute advice like,
“You were a baseball coach and
you don’t know what you’re
doing wrong?” or “Aim left,
swing right and walk straight” or
the ever-popular, “Take two
weeks off and then quit.”
But this year my game has sunk
to such depths that I decided to
seek professional help-for my golf
game, not the psychological
variety which I also so desperately
need. I opened up the phone
book (Yes, children, those things
do still exist.) and threw a dart
which- with the accuracy of one
my wayward drives-caught a small
ad on the bottom corner of
the page.
“The Draw/Shank
Redemption” read the headline.
“Let former professional
‘Slammer’ Sam N. Dave help
lower your handicap.”
Now I am a sucker for any kind
of pun especially when a Stephen
King story is involved. But it was
his kicker line that sold me on
trying this guy-“Horse
handicapping also available.”
I checked out his checkered
resume and made an appoint-
ment to meet him two days later
at a local driving range. We
shook hands and began the usual
golfer’s conversation with the Heaven’-if you know what I verb and a pronoun. Anyway, fairly close to ‘Slamming Sammy
traditional, “How about that mean.” look what happened when he Snead’.”
Masters?” Sam paused to take a sip from a quit making excuses, stopped “I get that a lot but my
“I was glad to see Sergio finally Styrofoam cup and continued, with the 17 waggles and became nickname comes from the
win one,” Sam said. “I don’t like “He bullied his way by us to the a one-woman man with Drew numerous nights I spent in jail-or
to see anybody-including me- bar so I thought I would teach Brees’s hot cousin from the Golf the slammer-when I was on the
with a monkey on his back for this young Spaniard some Texas Channel-instant Masters European ‘Wine and Cheese’
that long. You know, I helped etiquette. So I politely said, champion. tour. Seems there was too much
Garcia long ago when he was just ‘Hey, El Nino, you’re never “But I suppose you have a few wine and I wasn’t making
a kid. It was at the Chili Parlor going to get a W on the U.S. questions about my personal life enough cheese if you catch my
Bar in Dallas where some buddies tour until you give up those before we get started. There drift. I think I still have the
and I were knocking down Mad other three W’s-whining, have been some traps and bad lies record for having more DWI’s
Dog Margaritas at a John Daly waggling and womanizing.’ I along the way but fire away. My than cuts made. But that can
‘Grip it and Sip it’ rate.” like to make teaching points with life is an open book and I try to happen when you consistently
“Sergio was playing in the alliteration.” be up close and personal with my have weekends off and unwanted
Byron Nelson that week and he “What did Sergio say,” I asked. clients.” distractions. I probably deserved
strolled in with a babe on each “I’m not sure,” Sam replied. “Okay,” I ventured. “Did you the certificates in Barcelona, Paris
arm-either one of whom could “The little Spanish I know did ever have any copyright trouble and Brussels but Amsterdam-
have put you on the ‘Fairway to not include profanity started by a with your nickname-I mean, it is really? Hell, I thought

30
days and watch every shot.
“’Sorry, honey. Doctor’s
orders, you know’.”
“But enough about me-let’s
have a look at your swing,” he
stated handing me a 7-iron.
“Are there any positive swing
thoughts you think I should try?”
I asked addressing a range ball.
“I sorta like, ‘Don’t shank it
right, you idiot hacker,’”
he suggested.
Which, of course, is exactly
what I did.
“I’ve seen better swings on a
playground,” Sam mumbled to
himself. “Well, that’s it for today.
Write me a check for $100 and
I’ll see you next week. Same
Bat-time, same Bat-channel.”
“But I only hit one ball,” I
complained.
“You learned a valuable lesson
today, grasshopper,” he philoso-
phized-“Patience. Make that out
to cash if you don’t mind.”
Sam could see I was visibly
shaken so he resorted to a
different ointment to soothe my
disappointment.
“Look here, Wild Bill. I’ve
done a little research on you also
and I think I have a deal that
you’ll like. At absolutely no
charge, I’m going to give you my
two Kentucky Derby picks before
they are released to the public.
That’s a $500 dollar value just for
taking a lesson with me today.”
everything was legal in 8-iron bound for glory when a are guys who are accustomed to “What the hell,” I figured. I
Amsterdam except murder.” little Dutch girl wandered out of losing. Except for the ones who might as well get something out
Sam got a little misty for a the gallery and the ball struck her had McIlroy when I told them- of the deal.
second and continued, “Since I right in the mouth and went out ‘Don’t Rory, Be happy.’” “Lay them on me,” I bit.
got back to the States, I’ve only of bounds. I grabbed her by the I tried a different direction. Sam looked pleased. “The
had a couple of incidents so it’s throat and screamed loud enough “What does your wife think of great irony is both names seem to
getting under control. In fact, at for everyone to hear, ‘I hope it your lifestyle?” reflect a trait of your lifestyle-Al-
my junior clinics, I stress to my Rotterdam teeth out’. The happy “You mean-my fiancée?” he ways Dreaming and Practical
kids, ‘Don’t drink and drive-you ending is that night in a Holland corrected. “Destiny could Joker. Put those two in an exacta
might spill your drink.’ I like to slammer, I had the epiphany that become wife number 4 if it is and you can thank me after the
help the next generation avoid my true purpose in life was to be indeed our destiny. But our first Saturday in May.”
some of the mistakes I’ve made.” a teaching pro-and give back to schedules don’t allow us to see I left the course $100 lighter in
“Well,” I said, “that certainly the game all it’s given to me.” that much of each other. I work the wallet, but thoroughly
explains the ‘Slammer’ part. But I was really hooked by now. out here from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. entertained and with a couple of
did you ever get any flak for your “Are there any other-uh-character and she dances from 9 p.m. to 3 tips for the Derby. And the more
full name being that close to the flaws I should know about?” a.m. at the Crazy Horse. In this I thought about it-with the
‘Sam and Dave’ R&B duo of the “Well, there were a few line of work, you have to sacrifice possible exception of that night
60’s.” complaints when I started that to achieve greatness. It’s one in Juarez after the 1971 Sun
“Damn,” he exclaimed. Masters pool at the Gambler’s trait I share with Tiger. The Bowl-it might be the best $100
“Maybe that’s why they played Anonymous meeting this month. chipping yips being the other.” I ever spent!
‘Hold on, I’m Coming’ every We all kicked in 100 bucks and “Speaking of Tiger,” I said,
time I was late for my tee time.” picked 10 golfers-winner take all “which Masters stat do you think
I was having second thoughts strictly based on prize money. is more important-the 18-under Editor’s note-Some of the
but there was something Sam was grinning now like- par or the 12- shot margin of material in this story was inspired
“Tin-Cuppish” about this guy so well, like he’d stolen something. victory, both done when he was (and maybe stolen) from a golf
I continued my interrogation. “Several of the guys-including only 21 in 1997?” blogger called “Ghost of Hogan”.
“Did you ever win anything at me-had Sergio and Justin Rose, Sam looked puzzled. Legal complaints should be
all on the European Tour?” I but when my dark horse Charl “Impressive credentials to say the referred to our law firm of Duhe,
asked. (‘Don’t call me Charley’.) least,” he replied. “But I think Cheetum and Howe.
Sam N. Dave’s face lost all Schwartzel picked up the show the greatest Masters stat of all
expression, “Listen, I was leading money, I killed every cat in the time is that 82 per cent of all men
the rain-shortened Rotterdam alley.” have their vasectomies done on
Finger in the Dike Classic when “Were the others upset?” I had Masters weekend so that they can
the fickle finger of fate ended my to know. sit in the recliner with the frozen
playing career. I flushed an “Not really. Remember these peas on their privates for four

31
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32
Foret Tradition FREE WIFI
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with Kellie
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5/12 ... Foret Tradition
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33
Pop City Here
Thoughts from Bully I Come!

Frankie Schmitt
The Friend.
The Golfer.
The Legend!

These are unique times in
America and in the media
coverage of anything. The truth a pop is on and I get a lot of among all those great players.
seems to be the farthermost pops! I’ll take you to the
thing from a reporters concerns promise land!” then grinned.
and feel it is more important to Thank You Frankie These Days are Hard
support their political views. for Allowing Me to for Me!
When I joined Pelican Point
Golf Community I reconnected Play on Your Team. Frankie is the Man. Ever since that first tourna-
with lots of old friends and met ment I keep asking Frankie to
a lot of new friends but no one As a new member I wanted to In this tournament our team play in another tournament. He
more polarizing and dynamic sign up to participate in my first played 5 other teams in our always has an excuse. This past
than Frank Schmitt. Men’s Golfing Association flight, 9 holes per match. We month I asked him and he
We have a large group of Tournament but I had signed won match after match, even pointed out he couldn’t play in
guys, mostly players that played up late and did not have a when we were out matched, we the tournament at all with any-
together for years at the partner. I asked around and matched up with all those pops. one. Sure enough when I went
Gonzales Country Club. they assured me they would find In the end we won our flight to sign up he had signed in with
I think Frankie is one of those me someone. I asked David and got to play in the play-off another player. He gave some
players and the first time I met Amedee about me needing a with all the winners of the other excuse again and I was off
him I liked him immediately. partner. He told me he was flights and came in second finding another partner.
He didn’t take crap off of playing with Frankie but was
anyone. I also played a needing to pull out for family
mid-week game with him in my issues. I asked, “Frankie who?
group and witnessed some That guy I played with last week
interesting golf. He had every that needed 2 sleeves of balls
shot in the book I’m just not through 5 holes?” “That’s him.
sure he was trying each of those Don’t worry about what you
shots. Left, right, short, long, witnessed he wins a lot of MGA
pretty, ugly and he even had a tournaments.”
pretty ugly shot. No matter, I took David’s place and I
he had a smile and the heart of headed out to play my first
a champion. MGA golf tournament with
Frankie. The first thing Frankie
said to me was, “Ok big boy.
Do you see this score card with
all these black dots? Each one of
those dots is called a pop and I
get an extra stroke on each hole

Where’s the Can I swing?
cart girl? Damn! They They’re still on the green!
both get a pop!

34
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A couple of weeks ago I had hole-in-one. He’s accomplished
heard through the grapevine something I’ve longed for and
that Frankie had hit a hole-in- am still waiting. Frankly
one on hole number 17. I then Frankie, I’m jealous and am
received a photo for proof. using my publishing powers
As a reporter I looked at the to cast dought on your
photo and it looked staged to accomplishment. I am going to 24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service
me. It was too perfect. One be so petty as to publish this
finger up, one finger down, photo of Aaron with her second
perfect lighting. The word was ace. Number one, she’s a lot
that with his first ace he more easy on the eyes than you
changed his swing and called his and second, it is a whole lot
shot. He was going to draw the easier to believe she made a
shot in over the sand trap. hole-in-one than you.
I don’t know about you but With that said, congratulation
that sounds like something ‘A’ Frankie on your hole-in-one. To
players do and Frankie’s not an the public I stand by my point • All tires from ATV to Commercial Machinery • Emergency road service
‘A’ player. More like a ‘D+’ is that this article is written in the • All brands to fit autos, trucks and assistance-Commercial Only
more like it. I also realized this month that April Fools happens. 18 wheelers, including tractor/ • Locally owned and operated since 2004
ace happened around the first of So if you want to know if he construction equipment tires • New used and retreads
the month and the month really made an ace you are
approaching was April. So the going to have to ask him. I am
question is, was this a real ace? sure he will be glad to tell you
He did have witnesses and I the entire story. I bet the story
don’t think he could fake that keeps getting better all the time.
smile he had about the event.
As I started to say times are Locally Owned & Operated by
hard for me. I can’t get Frankie Oscar and Linda Mire and sons
to play with me in a
tournament and now he hits a Call for Appointment • 225.644.8473
35
6307 Royal Lake Estates Ave • Gonzales, LA 70737
$399,000
4 bedrooms
There is a formal dining area to the left and straight ahead

4 baths
there is the grand living area, open to the kitchen, and din-
ing area with lots of great windows looking onto the great

1 1/2 story
back yard. The kitchen features stainless appliances, slab

3,351 SqFt Living
granite, wrap-around island with lots of awesome custom
cabinets. The triple split floor plan features a great master
suite off the den that includes a master bath featuring dual
vanities, tub, separate shower, and very nice walk-in closet.
This is one of the finest homes available in one of the best Two other bedrooms are joined by a hollywood bath. Across
neighborhoods in Ascension Parish, Pelican Point. This home is the home there is a great office with built-ins, huge pantry
located toward the rear of the development and the yard is pro- and a grand laundry room. Travel upstairs and over the
fessionally landscaped with mature trees & vegetation, flower garage there is a media room that will make an awesome
beds, and a manicured lawn. The back yard affords views to the man cave in addition to another bedroom and a full bath.
golf course beyond a lake and is private featuring a great per- This is a great home and is priced to sell Schedule your
gola for morning coffee and afternoon tea. Enter the custom showing today!
front door and enjoy the great tiled foyer complete with inlay.

21504 Blue Marlin Dr • Springfield, LA 70462
$595,000
4 bedrooms
with lots of space, a great custom island and stainless steel

3 baths
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bath and bedroom (previously used as an office) with a great

2,648 SqFt Living
view of the water in the back. On the other side of the home
are two bedrooms that share a full bath and the grand master
suite with lots more windows private access door to the fan-
tastic patio area and double doors that lead into the private
Absolutely AWESOME property on the water in Bruce's Harbor master bath. This space has a full size whirlpool tub, huge
gated community. This 4 bedroom 3 bath home sits on a great glass shower, dual vanity with granite and custom mirror,
lot with a manicured lawn and beautiful, mature landscaping in- water closet, and a very spacious walk-in closet with built -
cluding a gorgeous fountain in the front yard. Enter the custom ins. Outside the back there is a great covered patio area with
front door into the great living space. The triple-split floor plan a brick retaining wall that leads down to the covered boat slip.
has the kitchen, living, formal dining and breakfast areas all Also included is a nice size laundry room with an ice-maker
open with lots of windows to view the front yard and the beauti- and wash sink. There is a double garage with plenty of space
ful space in the back yard. The floors are all 6" wood plank with for two vehicles and also another closed off storage area
two exceptions. The formal dining area is defined by tile with in- within the garage. The home also has a brand new roof. call
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44113 Penny St. • St. Amant 70774
$200,000
If you’re curious about the value

3 bedrooms
dated. The floors are new wood laminate and of your home or looking to invest
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2 baths
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1651 SqFt Living
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Ricky O’Neal 225-939-6686
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11414 Lake Sherwood N. Baton Rouge LA 70816
Are you looking for a top quality home in an estab- sheds, covered parking for two cars, and a wood Shari O’Neal 225-936-2696
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Well - look no further. This property did take some ready for a new owner. Schedule your showing
water in the flood of 2016; however, it has been today.
completely repaired, cleaned, remodeled, and up-

36
Live Entertainment • 1st, 2nd, 3rd place awards • Judged by the Jambalaya Festival Association

'Cooking for
4th Annual

a Cause'
Jambalaya
Cook-Off
Wounded Combat Coalition, home
Sunday April 30th to benefit

of Wounded Wear which
supports combat
veterans across the
United States

We need teams and sponsors.
DEADLINE to register is Sunday April 23rd. The mandatory cooks meeting is Monday April 24th at 7pm.

For More Information contact Zack or Katie • Facebook.com/tigertavern
14505 Highway 44, Gonzales, LA 70737 • (225) 622-3719
Please help us give back to those who have given everything.
37
DREAMS COME TRUE CRAWFISH FESTIVAL
COOKING CONTEST RAISES $25,000.
On April 8th the 4th Annual Crawfish
Boiling Festival was held to raise money to
support Dreams Come True. On this
beautiful spring day 38 boiling teams
gathered together and competed. Along
with the Crawfish competition there were
jambalaya and cracklin cooks that com-
peted to raise a grand total of $25,000.

The public came out in support of
"Dreams Come True foundation." Dream
Come True thanks everyone involved in
this fundraiser. Many thanks to all of our
sponsors, volunteers, vendors and cooks,
who without we wouldn't be able to have
an event like this for such a great cause.

Crawfish Contest:
1st place winner was Ascension Magazine.
2nd place Chet Bargas and Cade Dupont.
3rd place Kevin and Kim Landry

Crackling Contest:
1st place was Snook Trabeau
2nd place "Bullet"Dennis Snyder, "Put"
Jerry Bourgeois, and Bonnie Snyder
3rd place Glenn Robertson

Jambalaya Contest:
1st place was Jared Bourque
2nd place Bart Himel
3rd place Rodney Heath
Publishers Note:
The Ascension Magazine team was made up of Mike, Michael, Jacque,
Josh and Blue. As the sponsor of this team I’ve been getting lots of
praise. At this time I want to thank my team because they did all the
hard work and deserve all the credit. When we received the Cash prize
of $380 without a blink they all agreed to donate the winnings back to
Dreams Come True. I am so proud of them.

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1st – Mike Gill / Steve Burt
2nd – David Burch / Keith Falgoust

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1st – Keith Harrison / Joe O’Banion
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1st – Jonathon Shull / Curtis Domingue
2nd – Gordon Stephen / John Waguespack
2017 PPLGA FIRST FLIGHT
1st Place:
SECOND FLIGHT
1st Place:
Most accurate Drive
Darlene Lee
Kickoff Maria Fairchild –
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Alice Pierson – Diana Schouest
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Closet to the Pin
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SPRING IS IN THE AIR

Y O U T H P H O T O PA G E S P O N S O R E D B Y

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1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103

43
SPRING IS IN THE AIR

Y O U T H P H O T O PA G E S P O N S O R E D B Y

Same Great People • Same Great Service 18562 HIGHLAND DRIVE, BATON ROUGE, 225-751-8473
1312 WEST HWY. 30, GONZALES 225-647-9631 • 11209 COURSEY BLVD., BATON ROUGE 225-368-1234 • 1015 WEST LEE DRIVE, BATON ROUGE 225-767-5008 • 1800 SOUTH RANGE AVE. DENHAM SPRINGS 225-664-8103
Ingredients:
Cooking Gourmet at Home 1 Head Romaine Lettuce
with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS 6 Grape Tomatoes
1 Red Onion
Bleu Cheese Crumbles
½ cup Balsamic Vinegar
¼ cup Sugar
1 tsp Corn Starch
Salt & Pepper
Favorite Salad Dressing
6 Strips of Bacon (cooked crispy)

Method:
First let’s get the Romaine lettuce washed up really nice. Run the
whole head of lettuce under cold water, allowing the water to get
in-between the leaves, then cut the Romaine in half length ways,
and trim any brown discoloration off of the bottom core. Next, let it
soak in an ice water bath to get nice and crisp. While the Romaine is
crisping, prep the rest of your ingredients. Thinly slice or shave the
red onion, cut the grape tomatoes in half, and chop up the crispy
bacon. In a small sauce pan, bring the balsamic vinegar and sugar
Heart of Romaine to a simmer. In a small cup or bowl, dissolve the corn starch in
2 tsp cold water then add to the vinegar. Stir the vinegar mixture
until it returns to a simmer then remove from the heat and
“Wedge” salad allow time to cool.

Put it all together!! Remove your Romaine from the ice bath and
Yield: 2 drain off any excess water. Place the Romaine in the center of a
large plate and creatively place the remaining ingredients around or
on top of the lettuce. Finally, drizzle with your sweet balsamic syrup
Prep: 20 minutes and serve with bleu cheese dressing, or any one of your favorite
dressings.

Top with grilled shrimp or chicken for a meal or serve as an
Chef
Cook: 15 minutes
hgaccompaniment with a hearty meal.
General Manager
Ben Jarreau

Serving: 2 ENJOY!!!!!!

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