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Heniitia 2609 State Road Rochester, NY 146% (Cuyahoga Falla, OH 44225, 716.427.2190 390.929.1929 Days of Knights Game Closet 173, Main St 8 S. ad Newark Terra Haute, IN 47802 302.366.0963 812.234.5585 Bit of England Fanfare Sport & Entertainment 4572 #7 Pembroke Mall 4415 S, Westnodge Ave. Virginia Beach, VA 2 Kalamazoo, Ml 49008, 757497 5171 616.349.8866 Star City Comics {argos Book Shop 5628 Willamson Road NW 1405 Robinson Road SE Foanoke, VA 24012 Grand Rapids, MI 49506 540.962.4400 616.454.0111, Past Present Future Linden LTD Hobby Comer ‘432 W. 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Salt Lako Ciy, UT 84118 001.966.0581 e” Card Game ae payerouies shor ow nc ay Last Grenadier 13823 Reseda Biv Nontwidge, CA 91504 818.506.3639 ‘Adventurer’s Guild 3320 Mary Siroot Rivers, CA 92506 909.682.1199 Game Castle 2514 E. Chapman Ave, Flleton, CA 92831 71438671:5800 ‘Ace Computers & Games 453 Stony Point Ra. Santa Rose, CA 95401 707875,5797 Matt's Cavalcade of Comics 2075 Nonfwest Buchanan Corals. OR 97330 541.782.6757 Fandom (Ottawa, Ontario. 613.206.2972 tay De hd Kaight ofthe Dinner Table #19 ‘Ti Six Minow Hr Poowr Man Senks28 “Tue Six Minion Hit-Point Man” © Copyright 2000, Kenzer and ‘Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner ‘Table™ THe KODT DeveLorpMenT TEAM Is img (SSN 182-47) is] JOLLY R. BLACKBURN » BRIAN JELKE © STEVE JOHANSSON « Davip S. KeNZER published monthly by Kenaze - and Jackie Vrbanic ® Editori ce: Barbara Blackburn maitre Cover Art by George and Jackie Vrb: Editorial Assistance: Barbara Blackbus Lake Zurich, 1 60047, Periodicals Postge Paid at Lake | Zatch IL. Postmaster:Send aires changes to: Knight ofthe Diner Table 25667 Hillview Court ‘Monde, 6060 © Subscriptions: A one year sub- ip att A ty | [= Table al a ere eee. |e Us in Cana US aaa 2 {US S36 in Cans wd US | a aS nd goin . Modi “To subenbe senda check or | [== SBaek Room at the Games Pit” eis. |e Fone arco paabe | fis meted Pete's Hylletin Board 4 ener and Compa) ci e's Bulletin ee i Kener & Company et, SY (\hyibe F a KODT Subscriptions, ia es af ee < 25667 Hillview Cour me ee : ‘Mundelein, I 40060 Mes. CMMI nero Las sp32 or Gol A vad Vim Matera, ‘Summon Web Scryer") ys. ¢ 4 AmB or Discover cad nub, | | // ; a leur aime nen EM / AMA... 35 nee i Di Ss Repndrods Power” 1 86, a issues UL if r related merchandising are also ‘Tales from the Table” = ' ac 7, available, See inside cover of this J ak. Y iste oreur website or deus | fpggeeeBlan’s Small Press Picks 46 Tarski Kemet coat ‘Parting Shots fo ] 8 (editorial inquiries only) or e if f KenzerCo@aol.com (all other \ inguies). World Wide Web: \ bapwww.kenzerco.com THE STRIPS: Submission: We accept submis shoe Rec ea pn, ea Til Death Dp U4 Pary 7 ‘toons, etc. We are interested in run- F) Sing anhing that ote games My Grubby Brae Belated 2 ‘and fans would enjoy. Check out Why Didn't you Say $62 { 19 ‘our website for writer’s guidelines, One-Two Punches... = i Pa eal Nae Kops of te Dias Thble The Six Mion He Pit Man ODI, Reo KODT, Hacks, Of he Heavens to. Merga-Trollt ait 28 Silks fo he Table, Saran We Saye, Hear! ion the GameVine ‘Weir Pete's Bulletin Bowed, Back Room at the Games Pit Brian's Small Press Picks, Disha of Wondrous Power, The Gamer's Eye ‘on the. MoviesFV, Paring Shots, Ma gh erie Gay akon Fis, ‘Sellitkd. the Kinpors o Kal, Ne jolly Re B press sapizioe SeA01S"" Weng and owing KODT spy, However, isn’t nearly the lonely job it was in the past, Since join. ing the ranks of KENZER AND COMPANY and the formation of Net nC tna ener | | ibe KOT D-TeaM, the Knights have gone far beyond any- slanted ea ees || thing ly os flaw Domus meme See, Deve Botan ove tmeviech | RoxePrefewo Conga 1997, 1998, 1999 CRIES FROM THE ATTI “And his block is knocked off!! (But ‘You” can put it back on again! ining on the gaming able in my office sa vintage (7965) Rock S: Sock‘em Robots game | managed to pick up a auction on eBay lsc summer — an object | take grat ride in, Don't ask me why; but searched in vain fr this particulary for sever Apparently I wasnt the on histher childhood again because, depending on condition, this hard l,m me Fetched upwards of 200 bucks. Something | er prepared to pay even if { DID manage to seumble across one, So I was 2 bit surprised to finda sex of RR in jnal box witha pitiful opening bid of 30 bucks (and only an our renting before he bidding clase) Now; being the Gamer that I am, when my highly collectible piece of gaming history arrived via Federal Express | immediately pulled it out of its box and gently set it up on the kitchen table. Ie was like apiece of fine arto me. And even though I hada seen a Rock’em Sockem game sex in nearly tice years, every line and rivet on the retro-looking .0 me on level only my inner-child could fully under person interested in ovis robots were familar to me, It was almost as if the ty spoke stand T then did som ame col lector cinge in horror — I sat down and began to play wih it. Tha’ right, T cook a 35 year old clasic toy and I submitted it the kind of rigorous abuse cha only afory-year old man could subject ito 1 am gamer - bear me roar! [ challenged anyone who would take iter, the family cat, a guy who just happened to be pasing by ‘my hous, Iwasa parila. was going ro ge same payback fr al the beatings my big brocher dealt me in the Robo-Arena when we were kids Soon old Lady Mery was sent packing from my house asthe sounds of clashing, hard plastic fist striking one another other filled thea along with the ihrrrerarr'of robot heads (er knocked off and the siisfying ‘Hack” of chose same heads being snapped back in place ‘And when [finally tired of reliving my childhood and venting my I puc the game on permanent display in iy office and tased the empey box inthe dset. Why? Dont ask silly questions. Some guys put their bowling trophies on their man- te, display my ros. You Figure it out, So youre probably thinking a this pone chat h Sock’em Robor setup in my office makes me some kind of certified geek. A grown man plying with toy@ That may be but thankfully Tim nor alone. Men plying with toy robo is sudenly in vogue Last week, Todd Weaver (our new er) vas sitting in my living toom channel surfing when something made us both sit tpn our seats and go, "Huh Wed stumbled upon Comedy Contnals new shows, “BatleBots" fyove mised this sow or dot naw anything abou it, check ou this ies GameVine) Basically dhe show pits folls ike NASA engineers and Hollywood special effets guys against each other. They build remote contrlled robots armed to the weth with such weapons as hydraulic hammers, carbide saw blades and diamond-tipped drills, etc, They then tos these ‘battcbors' nto an arena. to fight 10 the death, Bing! Can you say gamer-candy?? Where do I sign up? After watch inues, Todd turned to me and sid, You know, this has boand game written allover it! This awexome Yeah, [ kuow.”| sai halfjoking, “7 called Butdetech! Todd and tied to ye to take more than a ‘mild inte «sin the shows [now Ted will deny this ever happening but soon hat would make any serious roy ne on — my wife, my blocs) being rebouse mar 1” wwe were were both scream ing at the TV and rooting ferou vr bso Tat ‘im upland “Rip bis moth- harden” Now Tm the first 10 aumic isa very silly Geky) show. (Which [gus explains suhy Comedy Cena picked itu rather than ESPN.) (On the flip sid, a least the bates ae el and sot ke ike dhe WWE If obvious the bor handlers are intent on winning, Half the fun is watching them. When one battebot was killed, {half expect edits owner to break into tears. (Intead he whined about the other ‘eam, playing diy). These battles are surprisingly intense and bone cxwhingly volene (ther i, ifrobts had bones). Since most of these robots return week afer week, they beara wide variery of battle scars which only adds to the excitement. I’ violent ro the extreme and yet. iene Kind of ike hack alley kick-boxing but with only half the guilt. ince the only thing ely Being burt is he ler’ pride) And for ws... ahem... men, the show has the added atraction of high-tech gadgecry. Tere are even dudes running around with tool belis and duct rape making lst minute tweaks and repairs to theie buaclebocs before sending chem in ro do bate. In fit, the only ching [relly don like about the show are the play-by-play announcers who attempc over-hype the action. L wish they just shut up and let Us enjoy the carage, (Good hacking dost ned commentary Ir speaks fare) But hey, ther’ stil plenty to love about this show. The only thing missing are che dice and alle side bering action. The comparison ro Rockem Sock’em Robots i ll r00 obvious to me. Infact, 'm left wondering ifthe guys who came up with the premise for this show used co get beat up by ther older brothers in the game as kids. And Ym sue ifyou poke around inthe credits for BarteBots long enough youl find a handful of gamers in there somewhere ‘Atany rate the show is a big hit for Comedy Central. I guess ic just goes to prove my theory thar there are aloe of folks running around our therewith gamer tendencies who are even aware oft (lly P Bb © Jolly R. Blackburn The “Bla Bomber tam he "Ral Racker Not 50 MOUTHY NOW THAT MY FIST IS IN YOUR. Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ Poem uoe an CCM Een UC aoc) The RPGA® Network js an international organization dedicated to bringing Crea Me RCH On CME tus Cee cre me aU a Loa ee Each region on earth has a corresponding region in Oerth SATIS Cae ee ACLS Pee ee eee cee acc cue ee ce ec ian Mic a) Roe OUR RL the full range of benefits to your table. Make,new friends. See the world. Join the RPGA Network. NETWORK Pe eee Ones Mn Eee ee oy Oa Cope OEE Lg Ota ere eae Cee ome ny aria ac ee) Peroni cman) ery Birt Waldstr. 23/05, CR Ce mecca em eo Ce one oc ee nT Peon ey ar Go to CeCe Beer. Nookie. Roommates. Just another Friday night at YOU CAN'T THROW THEM OUT... THEY LIVE HERE! Chez Geek is a fast-paced, satirical card game for 2-5 players. f Take it to a party, a bar, or your favorite café. Your friends become your roommates as you each try to get enough Slack to overcome the stress of your job. Best Traditional Card Game of 1999 You can get points for sleeping, watching TV, and nookie. Got money from home? Buy beer and CDs, and invite your friends over to Chez Geek! $19.95 at your local game retailer. If he doesn’t have it, whine! If whining doesn’t work, try www.warehouse23.com. Look for the first Chez Geek expansion deck, coming in November! This game includes Pfe sex, drugs, and rock & roll. Deal with it STEVE JACKSON GAMES £3 www.sjigames.com A Chez Geek is a wademark of Steve Jackson Games Incorporated, 21 —) Dear KODT, I really loved the “Sprechen Dwvarvth?” strip. I've always been fsci- nated by languages and alphabets, so it was a treat to see runes and Tolkien Elish serpt geting a good workout. I did notice 4 couple of lters here and there were missing, but I put that down to the Knight? incorrect pronunciation of the “language” they were trying to speak Here are the passages Iwas able vo fig- ue out (ihenk godess bad my "The Lengua of Tillers Mid Earth” bands), B.A. “Gietings my jens wha can do eee Bian: “Tn doing very well, tank you and your” BAS "Baewe sr which way be robe” Brian: "Go west, young man!” BAc “Say again Bein: “These iio te other players) Ihave no ides what wre saying” aos BA. “what were.” BA: "Oh yea? Well sew you bud! You cam tke your ave and shove it.” = haces Se ee light.” Sara: " salir is so funny: lckng You ok eae ‘wind storm.” Brian; (t00 an oblivious Sara) “Your oe ina sea of ala ‘Sara: "Peace is for the weak.” Brian’ statement in Dragonspea threw me, 1 saw it was written in reverse elven setipt, but when I tried to translate i, both left and vight readings, it didnt make any sense. Maybe it wasn't supposed to, but Our Readers Talk Back! Tm not sure, Afterall, all the rest of the script translated into something. Anyway, T ehoughe youd like to know that someone (probably several someones) translated what You were trying to say. And that quote from ‘Third Syllabi proba- bly the only way Brian will ever admit how he realy fels about Sara ~ to her fice, anyway.) Rick Kurgas via E-mail Good job, Rick! Several readers wrote in to say they had ‘racked’ th code sow speak ‘but yore the only one (1 far) to prety much translate the strip in its entirety. Im impresed. What was Bran saying in dagonspeat? I ques ith okay to tell you now The dowest sword inthe English language is, “Bele” Joly Dear KODT, Just had to drop you a line and tll you how much [loved #45 & #46 Realy fel you've made a breakthrough with che Paty G stores. These ate a nice change to the KODT and Black Hand adyentures-a whole different feel to them. Love Patty G herself, Fel she’ great change from the dysfunctional B.A., Weird Pete, & Nitro stores. And the whole sub-storyline of Crutch trying to find a group to play with i $00 histri- aally RPG correct. (We had a few friends tuho played with ur group to say out of bar Fits Quit difren ple. Laughed my as off tthe lst wo pan- cls on Hack and Roll All Night and Bob's getting beat up by Erk of the Twelve Sa" Gerd Bag me, but 1 LOVE watching Bob get screwed in the game, It just cracks me up. 1 ako love watching Brian's plans com- pletely al through and having him pay for “rule playing” instead of “oe paying” but that seldom happens. Keep up the good work: youte defi- nitely unchallenged as the best story eller of the industry, and a damn fine stip writer in general aswell. And [ appreciate the fac chat yout not just covering the same old ground and resting on your jlly laurels, but are exploring new veins of fhumot Thanks forthe fine effort. Kim Eastland via E-mail Thanks, Kim. Asa longime work at TSR while still im its ‘comments mean a lot. af your ay your Jolly Dear KODT, First, I would lke to thank the staf of KODT for putting out all of the ‘fin twork that brings laugher and fond mem- fies of games past ‘Asa flow gamer for almost 20 yeas, can think of no other group of peeple bet ter suited to produce the new Dungeons ‘& Dragons” comic book. ‘Asa long time “consumer” and gamer ofthe game genre, Wizards of the Coast was wise in this decision and I'm equally impressed with their 3rd Ed Players’ Handbook. remember long ago picking up a real ly cool D&D related comic known as “The Realms” by Arrow Comics and was really disappointed when they just stopped (to this day Ihave no idea on what happened ‘0 them). Kenner & Co, please do not le this happen to you. look forward to receiv. ing KODT and the related pleaures of pris that are covered. Hopefully I will able ro contibute a suitable article or the ike in the near future. Thank you and ecp up the in work” Pattick Graco via E-mail Than for she vote of confidence, Patrick Don't worry! All of us here at KenzerCo are Auge DED fas and wane odo tbs project right Yow cam ako tke comfort inthe fac tha we Ihave a solid tack record for supporting our produc lines. As a croun jewel, obviously ‘were interested in the DEED comic line being 4 long and prosperous one Joly Dear KODT, 1 would like to sare his lrer off by saying what a grea job all of you are doing! ‘The situations che Knights find themsehves in sem all co familiar to alot of us longtime gamer! You constantly make me laugh with thee antics, and for thac Iam Forever grateful T noticed ina few of the pat mags that cab Kul oe roms ae esting sounding games. 1 find myself WANTING to play Risque or Formula Day!!! Please tell me, even if you have to li, that you will be creating these ames! know they dont exist, but the way they were playing them sounded awesome! Of course, you would have to crete them with the hack-erpansion packs thar make them worth playing’ I couldnt stop laugh- ing when I saw Bob in thar full-body cas J ERERA, UK VECKER SARA Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” « November, 2000 (lowe #44) aie playing Formula Day with the Road Rage card deck! ‘And who could forget Brians “Big Stick Policy” ven they were playing Risque with BartlePack Number 6, "Scorched Earth"??? (sue #43) Damm, you make me WANT to PLAY these games!t! Well, now you've gone and gor my dander up! You have to make these games and let me buy them! I wane to give you my ‘money, Ofcourse if you don't, Iwill be forced to bring my 10th level spell “Funk of 40,000 Years” online Keep up the good work, and ay your dice never go numb! ‘Tom Coster via E-mail That sounds like a veiled thet, Tom. course we would have our Corporate Mages counter your Funk Spell with our own Repel Funk spell. (patent pending) 165 aboluely amazing how many letters we recive asking for real-life versions ofthe games the Koights play inthe sips. Have we given serous thought to actualy developing these ames? Wih the recent release, Fairy Meat being so soll recived who knows? To be honest, I would- nit mind playing a lle Road Rage myself Jilly Dear KODT, I just finished issue 46, The hilarity never stops! love your magazine. Being an old time D&D'er (been playing the game in one form or another since 1982, i brings backa lot of fond ‘memories, I especially liked the ideas presented. in the “This That and the Other Thing: Odd Follower” coluran by Christian Walker. [think B.A. needs to try having a pack of ghouls follow che Knights around feeding off the camage. Heck, that group could probably feed an army of ghouls with the body count they rack up Keep up the good work! Hans Cummings via E-mail Dear KODT, ‘This was the frst year I ad the chance to auend a KODT Live Reading. The one held during Origins ROCKED. About 80 people were there. I go vo play B.A. ewice and Stevi ‘once. Iewas 0 kewl. ‘Then eame GENCON and yes another live reading before 300-400 people this time, 1 walked in with my hand raised this time so Brian Jee sid, “Well you up fit so come on Ca Tran up tothe dais to take my place as B, A. looking out over the crowd was a hill After the reading we all were asked to come over to the prize able where Jolly had st up prizes for us 0 win all we had to do was roll 246, (There ‘was a chart showing prizes from 1-12, the #1 price was a signed KODT #1.) Jolly, can tell you please tll me how you roll 6 4.1’ on 2462 Buc two of the numbers were “DIRS” — if you rolled it you could choose any prize. Well, rolled dibs and immediaely looked at Brian then the crowd and said “I want BA's chai” Brian sid “uh..sur.” so I ran back to the dais for another reading, Afr that reading I rolled “dibs” once more, the crowd loved it. (Later Joly sid he wus rooting for me to rll another di") ‘After three staight goes as BAA. I finaly filed a roll, but I id ge a coupon for 1000 XP which was signed by the Kenzer crew for use with any accredited HackMaster GM. ‘The best thing was when I got home and received my new copy of KODT Ilstrated iad bees o reat ae rc reading were then in that isue. That totally rocked. HOODY FRICKIN’ HOO! Kenn Boyle ‘Nanteen@epix.net How do you manage to roll a ‘l'on 2d6? Easy — but yu have ro we the Lugar Crek Die-Roll Convention as establced at my oun gaming table in the fl of 82. 1H a long and drawn out proces which is framed pn mat gig ik: Howe completely legal at most KODT Live Readings. Ask me at next ear event, and Il explain the oo Joly Dear KODT, This oneis for Jolly. Just wanted to drop you ‘a quick note to say thank you for everything. At GenCon you signed my KODT #1, #2 and #3, as well as SHADIS #1 and #31 ‘That was a big thil for me, but even big- get was the kick T gor from the KODT Live Reading! That ROCKED! T-even gor to be on-stage for one (I rear haem of Bn") oe My wife (who is aio a gamer) sid tha the live reading confirmed her suspicion that a lor of gamers (and GMs in paricular) are frusta- ced actor. [think she may have hi the nail on the head, because some of the performances were grat, not including my own I was realy nervous. This year for our local Con, I like vo do a KODT Live Reding Do you gs prove Anyway, thanks again forall hat you and the team do, Keep on Gaming! Mack Dykstra via E-mail We dont havea hit, Mark but we did run 4 “How to run your own KODT Live Reading” article in an early issue tas! J believe you can find te Adabe Acrobat ile a knceracom. We encourage conventions and retail shops to run thei oom Live Readings. The can be great fun Jolly Dear KODT, have been a faithful and eager reader of KODT since issue thirteen, As soon as the newest copy is purchased, I cagely sit down. and devour it cover-to-cover at my earliest con- venience. As sat down to peruse issue 47, [was faced with the sheer horror of the “Snake Saye” story in your editorial Being an amateur herpeologist and a person with a grea love and admiration for repriles and amphibians, your story of the brualston- ing to death of an innocent serpent rocked me co my very core! For the fist time ever, I was thoroughly angry with you! T go to schools and give voluntary lectures con reptiles to prevent this very attitude and behavior. Snakes have been cursed with the Worst reputations an animal can bear. Yes, some snakes ate poisonous, and can injure oF even Aull a human. You yourself admitted that the snake was minding his own business, and the ‘wo of you killed him just because he “cared the snot out of you" I just want to make it clear to the many readers of KODT that this is NOT the appropriate behavior to exhibit towards ‘ANY wild animals, Leave them alone and they willleave you alone. Jolly, since you sil seem to hhave a fear of snakes, I volunteer to help you ‘out. Since my friends and I at The Dragons Claw booth go to many of the same conven- tions that Kenzer and Co. does, | will bring along several of my pet snakes for you to meet! ‘They are very friendly, and love to meet new people! am definitely looking forward ro next summer's convention schedule a I'm sure you ar! Sheryl via E-mail 1 look forward to meeting your fine snake, Sheryl. My editorial was actually meant to poke fiat ny younger self. would ete frst agree ‘hae killing innocent creatures is “ngppropriate behavior’ As tated in my editorial, Iwas much younger then and abit naive (Kegp in mind thi was back jin the days when locals prowl held armual ‘Rattle Snake Round-ups'to see who could liter- ally lub the most snakes) Arany rate, [surely wart sugesting readers go ut and stone sakes. If ther non-profit nga nization 10 promote the kind of wolunser work ‘you mentioned, et me know. 1 gladly donate a “fou dollar as penance for my erangresion. Joly Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ Til Death do us Part BY JOLLY BLACKBURN Head GAMEMASTER’S CAMPAIGN LOG: Day 204 GAMEMASTER: B.A. Felton! | GAME SESSION SUMMARY: Atlong last Ihave the players where I want them - back under my control, Dave ha! | been stripped of his HackMaster +12 as has Brian of his Bag-of-ricks along with hs vst collection of magical aritacts ' both stolen by Pewter who is now long gone. fel like dancing in the tees. My campaign, which only weeks before was! | weacherously close to completly collapsing due tothe blance-ofpower tipping so heavily inthe players faver now seems! | el omits way to being salvage 1can jst manage few more adjustment, without the payer caching ono what I'm | doing, the campaign shouldbe back on track in matter of weeks | Rocar o LAST Week's ADVENTURE: The entice party, with the exception of Sara’ character (Justina), was slain by the! soa ‘Stone Menagerie’, A reluctant Justina was forced to leave her sain comrades behind. Severely wounded (down! A eel '0 2hipoints),she wandered toa local Inn (The Whimsical Sow) where she found fod and shelter, She soon learned, how-| P BUILDER evr, that she had a bounty on her head and that Ahk Tang's bounty hunters were scouring the countryside loking fr her and her comes. Fearing she'd be given ove othe enemy i her identity were discovered, Justina stole «horse and lft in! th Jark of night, Se eventually mae her way tothe nearby town of Drayton's Forge where she requested sanctuary at ! the Temple of the Feeble Gawd (which the temple press granted based on her past generous donations.) i While she recovered frm her wounds and lay near death Justina used the litle remaining hard eon she had on her pr son to hire the services of a Runner. {NPC#2173] She tasked him with assemblirg «party of hitelings and provisioning’ [& | them for an expedition to retrieve the bodies of El Ravager, Knuckles the VI and Teflon Billy. (Said expedition to bet =] | aurched under her personal leadership once she had regained her strength) Using the pulley and elevatored room system devised by Lord Flatoroy Justina ingeniously reconfigured the dungeon eating safe pasageay tote Meds’ Lar. With te odes of er sin connate recover, Justin st pon agus, | to have them raised. After along fruitless search, she finally managed o find « Rogue Priest’ wiling to help ber: | SARAPP_THE GAME DOESN'T START FOR ANOTHER HOUR, 1 WAS JUST MAKING SOME F/NAL ADJUSTMENTS ON TONIGHT’S ADVENTURE. \ WHAT BRINGS YOU IN $0 EARLY TONIGHT? 1/M JUST ANX/OUS TO PLAY TONIGHT. I HAD A REALLY BAD WEEK AT WORK AS WELL AS AT SCHOOL. THOUGHT IF THE OTHERS SHOWED UP EARLY WE COULD GET A JUMP ON STARTING THE GAME TONIGHT. OH... SORRY TO HEAR THAT. ANYTHING T CAN DOP NOPE/ IT’S NOTHING A LITTLE ROLE-PLAYING SESSION WON'T FIX. BUT SAY... DON’T LET ME INTERRUPT YOUR SET-UP TIME. UST PO ME A FAVOR, CUZ -- CRANK UP THE MACK-FACTOR TONIGHT, T REALLY NEED 10 VENT MY FRUSTRATION! HACK-N-SLASH? YOU NAVE WHOAH/ YOU'RE ASKING FOR MORE \ HAD A BAD WEEK HAVEN'T YOUP VILL gust sit HERE QUIETLY ‘AND GO —_" ws YOU HAVE MO IDEA/ BETWEEN MY PIG-OF -A- CUBR) Rove BOSS HITTING ON ME AND SOME JERK KEYING MY GEO AT THE SMASH MOUTH CONCERT LAST NIGHT I’M NOT IN THE BEST OF MOODS, ‘fons ots acer teh They ypcay dance a e-ine when comes to echerng foe docnes of tek chosen fath cart nt ‘0.draw the iro of thor atthe same time testing te Kits to which they can go. Rogue Press often work and expo the powers piece paleo a ne fa anon Hea sap ey Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine™ « November, 2000 ————_________—_ 7 LATER THAT SAME NIGHT. I'M AFRAID A RAISE DEAD RITE \S Out OF THE QUESTION -~ OKAY SARA, THE ROGUE PRIEST IT WOULD BE USELESS. YOUR SITUATION CALLS FOR THE STUDIES THE SMALL PAD OF PAPER REAL ECCLESIASTICAL STUFF -- \ RESURRECTION! WHICH HE’S BEEN WORKING HIS NUMBERS ON AND FURROWS HIS BROW. DAMMIT’ I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, WHILE SARA WAS LOLLY- GAGGIN IN DRAYTON'S FORGE 1 aac! WBACING aku I 1 WAS HEALING UP WE EATIN’ BON BONS AND You BONsHAAG/ > SIPPIN’ DAQUIRIS OUR BODIES sy, “I’M SORRY, MUH- WERE ROTTING AWAY IN THE LADY, BUT I’M AFRAID DUNGEON! NOW WE'RE SCREWED! TOO MUCH TIME HAS — ‘LAPSED siNce THE ‘DEATHS OF YOUR FALLEN COMRADES.” YOU KNOW, 1M STARTIN’ TO THINK MAYBE IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA TO POCKET THE GOLD AND WRITE YOU GUYS OFF, i MAYBE IT DIDN'T OCCUR TO YOU WRITE US OFFP BUT T HOLD THE POWER HERE. WHAT KIND OF THE ONLY THING STANDING TWAS JUST JOKING CRAZY TALK BETWEEN YOU AND AROUND. I DION'T MEAN 1S THAT? ROLLING UP WEW CHARACTERS ANYTHING BY IT, REALLY/ FROM SCRATCH |S ME/! OKAY SARA, THE ROGUE PRIEST LOOKS AT YOU APOLOGETICALLY AND GIVES YOU HIS ‘ROCK BOTTOM’ PRICE. HE'S WILLING TO DO THE JOB FOR $0,000 GOLD PIECES A POP BUT HE’LL NEED THE CASH UP FRONT// 10,000 TOTAL? IT MIGHT AS WELL BE A FIFTY GEESPP!! JUST TO HAVE US. M0 == 1 DONT CH. RESURRECTED? EACH? WHAT A SHYSTER/ EE ee Urea CORRUPTION |S RAMPANT AMONG \ HMMRRFF// WHAT DID T TELL YAP ‘THESE ROUGE PRIEST TYPES. He SAYS HE’S NOT WILLING TO yomir ‘BUDGE ON WIS PRICE EITHER. 38 Ise #49; The Six: Million Hit-Point Man™ 1 EXPLAINED THAT ALREADY, THAT LITTLE WORLD WAR YOU GUYS STARTED CREATED A HUGE DEMAND FOR RESURRECTIONS. YOU DIDN'T SERIOUSLY THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONES INTERESTED IN RA/SING FALLEN COMRADES DID YOUP THERE’S BEEN A BACKLOG FOR MONTHS/! AND 70 BE HONEST, THERE AREN'T MANY PRIESTS LEFT WILLING TO TAKE THE AGE-HIT' ASSOCIATED WITH RESURRECTIONS! THESE PRICES ARE OUTRAGEOUS// T STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE M/GH-LEVEL PRIESTS IN THE REG/ON// > WHY ARE WE EVEN DEALING Gee, rwever FIRK DING. THOSE SELE- y ; YOU MEAN I GOTTA STAY THOUGHT oF IT SERVING BETARDS! DEAD ‘COS THESE FROM THEIR IF THEY AREN'T CLOWNS DON’T WANNA POINT OF VIEW. WITH THIS “Meant Ware? WILLING TO RAISE US? _- wos TEMPLE MUSTLERP OH IT“S NOT ENTIRELY THE FAULT OF THE PRIESTS. YOU SEE, LORD GILEAD HAS PAID A LUCRATIVE RETA/NER TO EVERY TEMPLE IN A 500 MILE RADIUS TO RAISE EVERY BATTLELORD OR FIELD GRADE OFFICER SLAIN IN COMBAT ~- SOMETHING HE PROMISED AS A SIGN-UP BONUS DURING HIS RECRUITING DRIVE, GULEAD?I! AGAIN HE'S MAKING OUR LIVES MISERABLE. EVEN IN DEATH HE'S A THORN IN OUR BUTTS/ RECRUITING DRIVE? NO WONDER OUR MEN WERE JUMPING THE FENCE 10 THE OTHER SIDE IN DROVES! 6 > E ~\ He Never Dip FIGHT FAIRE IT’S LOOKING RATHER GR/M GUYS. I HAD TO PAWN THOSE WEAPONS AND MAGIC ITEMS OF YOURS WHICH I MANAGED TO SHOVE IN MY FANNY PACK OF HOLDING IN ORDER TO RAISE MONEY TO COME BACK ‘AND GET YOU, AFTER PAYING THOSE M/RELINGS TO HELP RETRIEVE YOUR BODIES, I’M AFRAID I ONLY HAVE ABOUT 8,000 GOLD PIECES LEFT. YOUR BODIES HAD BEEN PICKED OVER WITH A FINE TOOTH COMB BY THE TIME T GOT BACK TO YOU, YOU MAY HAVE TO MAKE & TREK UP 10 HELL'S THROAT* AND RETRIEVE OLR EMERGENCY SLUSH FUND, SARA, TLL TAKE WEEKS BUT T DON'T SEE WHERE WE HAVE ANY CHOICE, THIS BLOWS/ SOME THIEVING OAT OED To saree nea a L e OUR LITTLE GOOD IDEA BUT THERE’S TOOTH OF RIEND PEWTER CAME BACK ONE SMALL PROBLEM PURIFY BEVERAGE’. AND PAID US A LITTLE WITH THAT, BRIAN. / We'Re roast’ POST-MORTEM VISIT. eae ee os Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 2000 9 YOU WERE CARRYING THE MAP IN YOUR BAG OF HEFTY CAPACITY FOR, UH. HOM! DID YOU OKAY, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT BUT ITP ‘SAFE KEEPING’? I’M AFRAID THE ea TO DO SARA AND It’s UP TO Yous DIRECTIONS WERE SO RIDICULOUSLY 10 FORGOTTEN, YOUNE GOT TO WORK THIS GUY -- GET COMPLEX THAT THERE’S NO CHANCE OF HIM TO COME DOWN ON HIS RATES. oO /, UUSTINA EVER FINDING IT ON HER OWN. prac ee LIKE WE'RE IN 2 telat Bie || eam KIMSHEE HERE. HEARD THE MAN. HES AROUND AT THE TIME, WE DIDN'T Not GOING To BUDOS. WANT HIM RIPPING US OFF AGAIN IF YOU GO INTO THIS WITH TWAT KIND OF MINDSET, He’S JUST THROWING OUT A CHALLENGE. WE'RE SCREWED/ HOW MANY TIMES DO T HAVE THE MAN'S INVITING YOU TO MAGGLE WITH HIM. 10 TELL YOU -- MAGGLING IGN'T A SIMPLE MATTER ALL YOU'VE GOT TO 00 Is TO CONVINCE HIM HE NEEDS OF ROLLING A FEW OICE/ IT'S A SOPHISTICATED YOUR MONEY MORE THAN YOU NEED WIS SERVICES. DANCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE GM(/ XN YOU'VE GOT TO ROLL WELL, T SUPPOSE IT WOULDN'T HURT TO TRY. TRYPPIL Deana WELL, THAT'S A BOTH FEET AND PISS POOR ATTITUDES GAIN THE EDGES KG 10 OKAY, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. ANY / Bh 1 TURN TO SUGGESTIONS ON HOW T SHOULD PROCEED? OKAY, B.A, T TURN TO THE ROGUE PRIEST ‘AND TELL HIM HIS TERMS ARE UNACCEPTABLE. \ BOTTOM LINE -- IT'S ALL ABOUT GARNERING AS MANY MODIFIERS AS POSSIBLE FROM B.A, “I CALL UPON THE COMPASSION THAT SURELY BEFORE MAKING THAT FINAL MAGGLE ROLL. DWELLS IN YOUR HEART, SIR. FOR I KNOW \ YOU'RE A MAN WHO HAS CHOSEN A PATH OF GREAT SACRIFICE IN ORDER TO BETTER SERVE YOUR PATRON GAWD AND FELLOW MEN. \ (OH YEAH - I CAN EEEEEEWWWW, VERY GOODY THE DEFINITELY PRIEST BLUSHES AND TAKES YOUR 00 THIS, WORDS AS AN EXTREME COMPLIMENT, ‘THIS |S WHERE YOU EXCEL, SARA -- ROLEPLAY IT TO THE WILT AND B.A. WON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE BUT TO START DOLING OUT THOSE MODIFIERS. Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ A WEE BIT LATER. I SCOFF AT HIS COUNTER-OFFER. °35,000 GOLD PIECES? 90 YOU THINK I FELL OFF THE DEAD CART OR SOMETHING? I MAY BE BLONDE BUT I'M NOT DUMB, SIR.” / “TELL YA WHAT I'M GOING TO 00, T’LL THROW IN MY LONG BOW OF STRUMMING ALONG WITH THE 8,000 IN HARD COIN, FOR THAT YOU ONLY RAISE EL RAVAGER. HOW'S THAT SOUNDP* ‘SOUNDS LKE YOU'RE TRYING TO ‘TAKE ADVANTAGE OF AN OLD MAN = THAT’S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE, HEY, WHAT THE... SARAPP// WHAT ABOUT ME AND BRIAWP ‘YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF WRITING US OFF ARE YOu? (OF COURSE NOT, SILLY. RELAX. I'VE GOT A PLANS THE GUY OBVIOUSLY ISN'T GOING 10 COME DOWN LOW ENOUGH TO HAVE ALL GF YOU RAISED. IF T CAN AT LEAST MANAGE TO HAVE OUR F/GHTER RAISED TLL HAVE AN EXTRA BARGAINING CHIP IN AY CORNER TO WORK WITH -- CRANK. UP THE INTIMIDATION FACTOR & FEW DEGREES, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? YOU WANT 1 hey, MAr’s sHouLD mluscce HOPEFULLY, IT WON'T Go THAT FAR. NOT SUCH A THIS GUYP IS pan ee. TATE NE, OUTSTANDING, SARA, WAY TO HEDGE YER BET/ THE ROGUE PRIEST FLATLY REFUSES YOUR OFFER, SARA, HE HAS WO LSE FOR YOUR LONG BOW AND SERIOUSLY ‘DOUBTS YOUR CLAIM THAT IT’S MAGICAL, NE AT ANY RATE, HE FEELS YOU DON’T FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW HE OPERATES, HE'S EXPLAINS THAT HE'S FAR TOO OLD TO RISK A RESURRECTION SPELL HIMSELF, "00 YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE AGE PENALTIES. WILL BE TO RAISE THREE BODIES? IT WOULD BE THE DEATH OF NE// I VALUE &/FE TCO HIGHLY 10 CASHIN MY CHIPS JUST 10 RAISE YOUR LOSER FRIENDS WHO FORGOT TO DUCK.” LOSER FRIENDS? WHERE DOES HE GET OFF TALKING ABOUT THE DEAD LIKE THAT? SHEESH// YM Not ABOUT TO TAKE THESE INSULTS LYNG DOWN YER DEAD, BoB, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE But Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine™ * November, 2000 HIGH \S THAT 1 SUBCONTRACT ALL MY SPECIALTY SPELLWORK "THE REASON MY RATES ARE SO OUT TO OTHER PRIESTS.” \ "80 You see, I REALLY DON’T HAVE ‘MUCH_ROOM TO YIELD ON MY PRICES IFT EXPECT eo TO MAKE ‘A PROFIT.” il MAYBE YOU SHOULD SUET UR FRICKIN’ LUCKY We WOULD HAVE TO RUN, NTO THE WR, HANEY’ * OF PRIESTS, THINK ABOUT BRINGING NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DOP ‘k DIFFERENT SO HE’S JUST A MIDDLE MAN THEN? HMMMMM... SKILL SET IF 1 CAN FIND OUT WHO HIS SUBCONTRACTORS: eel INTO PLAY, SARA. ARE I CAN SIMPLY CUT WIM OUT OF THE DEAL. VOLUNTEER ANY SUCH OW, WE/LL YCUT* HIM ALRIGHT N Rien, DIFFERENT SKILL == RIGHT DOWN TO THE BOWE! ‘SET? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DO HAVE JA 1? CHARISMA DON’T YOUP AND. IF T RECALL CORRECTLY, YOUR COMELINESS ATTRIBUTE AIN'T TOO SHABBY NEITHER. ARE YOU GUYS SUGGESTING 1 SEDUCE TWIS GUY? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING? HEY! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! TURN UP THE MEAT ON HIS CELIBATE-ASS/ I BET THIS GLY’S REALLY LONELY HOLED UP IN THIS TEMPLE FOR YEARS AND YEARS. IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE SARA OUR LIVES ARE IN YOUR HANDS. WHAT'S MY. COMELINESS OH YEAH. YOu HAVE TO DO WITH. UST THINK OF IT AS. YEAH, SHAKE IT iy UST KNOW HE (5. TAKING ONE FOR FOR THE MAN, XN THE TEAM, SARA, KOOCHIE MAMAI? BRIAN, HOW COULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING? IT'S TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE, C'MON GARA/ IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED WE'D 00 IT FOR YOU! WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES FOR THE GOOD OF THE PARTY AS A WHOLE FROM TIME TO TIME. INAPPROPRIATE? VIKE HELL IT'S. ‘A SUCCESSFUL SEDUCTION EARNS ‘A WHOPPING +7 T0 A MAGGLE AND IT’S NOT LIKE OUR EXACTLY. WE'RE NOT ASKING YOU ROLL! TVE USED SUCK TACTICS CHARACTERS WOULD EVER TO DO SOMETHING WE piiSeul 30 LEVERAGE A BETTER, HAVE TO KNOW! WE'RE WOULDN'T DO. FOR THOSE t IME. REME! DEAD! IT COULD BE KIND OF MODIFIERS? HELL, 1/0 ELVEN PONY 1 GOT FOR A SONG a Deals OVER THAT GU. FROM OLD MAID KELZEY? “er bat t ug at wa g o wh constantly ied to swindle te show's main character, Me, Douglas. : 2 Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ LOOK SARA, IT’S JUST A LITTLE GAME TABLE POLITICS! It'S NEVER GOING TO GO THAT FAR. THERE’S NO WAY B.A, CAN HANDLE THE PRESSURE OF PLAYING THIS S/TUATION OUT TO ITS CONCLUSION. x YER His COUSIN FOR CRYIN’ OUT Loup. Just LOOK aT HIM = HE’S ABOUT TO BREAK ALREADY, GIVE 'M THAT -KACKLE- ‘COME-HITHER LOOK, / SWAKE THAT LITTLE OH C'MON, DON'T BE SHY TOOTS/ JUST FLASH THOSE BIG BABY BLUES AT HIM. ~SNICKER- HAAL! WE'RE AS GOOD (OH MAN/ BRIAN’S RIGHT. LOOK AT HIM! HE'S ABOUT TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. T'M SORRY GUYS. MY CHARACTER Just WOULDN'T RESORT TO AS RAISED! B.A. |S SUCH MEASURES. WWWWWWW GEEZUS/ WHAT'S WITH YOUP WHAT THE WELL 010 YOU DO THAT FoR? THE ONLY THING I’M GOING 10 SHAKE |S THAT SCRAWNY LITTLE NECK OF YERS IF YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN. YOU COULD’A PUT MY FRICKIN’ EYE OUT’ /M SORRY! IT WAS A KNEE JERK REACTION. YOU'RE JUST LUCKY YOU WEREN’T WITHIN ARM'S REACH. YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE GIVEN ME FA/R WARNING. THAT CAME WAY OUTTA LEFT FIELD! WOW A CALLED SHOT RIGHT TO THE FACE/ KEWL// \ HAR HARY/ FRICKIN’ ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE ON NOTICE, 808. DUDE, HOW MANY FINGERS AM T HOLDING UP? cur IT Our, DAVE, 1'M SERIOUS? UM HAVIN’ DOUBLE VISION HERE, bea * ae Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine * November, 2000 13 THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR, SARA. I WAS JUST TALKING IN CHARACTERS YOU SHOULON’T OUTTA BEAN A GUY WHEN HE’S JUST TALKING IN CHARACTER, BUT DUDE, YOUR CHARACTER IS DEAD ‘AT THE MOMENT. REMEMBER? OH Quit YER WHINING. IT WAS JUST A SODA CAN, YOU'VE BEEN DEALT ‘MUCH WORSE. TAM SORRY, BOB, REALLY, T CION’T MEAN TO OVERREACT. STAY OUT OF THIS DAVE! LOOK, I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THOSE KIND OF SNIDE COMMENTS ALL DAY AT MY JOB AT B/G B/G VIDEO. / FRANKLY, 1175 A LITTLE ANNOYING HAVING TO DEAL WITH AT THE GAMING TABLE. ‘OKAY, SOUNDS LIKE AN APOLOGY TO ME, $0 LET'S MOVE ON. SHALL WE? 1 THE ROGUE PRIEST SUDDENLY SOFTENS AND SHOVES HIS NOTE PAD NOW LOOK HERE, B.A. THOUGHT I MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR-- ‘MODIFIERS OR NO INTO THE FOLDS OF His ROBE. MODIFIERS ~~ He STEPS CLOSER TO YOU, SARA AND JUSTINA GENTLY PUTS A HAND ON YOUR SHOULDER} | ISN'T ABOUT TO... ~~ "LOOK, MY DEAR LADY. IV's OBVIOUS YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT YOUR POOR DEPARTED COMRADES. PERHAPS ‘THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS 10 EXPLORE HERE.” Otlne ~GULP- NOL/? THAT'S NOT WHAT Z... ER, -FIRP~ I MEAN THATS NOT WHAT WE’ MEANT. He REALLY DOES HAVE SOME OTHER — OPTIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER. ‘REASONABLE PRICES ON REINCARNATIONS/ IT’S NOT FOR “L00K," HE SAYS, "I HAVE A DRUID FRIEND WHO HAS SOME REALLY \ EVERYBODY, YOU UNDERSTAND, BUT IF MONEY'S A PROBLEM...” CHEAP AND OH MAN, I'D MATE TO REINCARNATION? Go THAT RouTe, gut RISKY! SHYA’RIGHT/ YOU CAN YOU SAY IT'S CHEAPP \ FORGET THAT DREK/ OTHER OPTIONS, EH? OKAY, I’M ALL BARS/ WHAT DOES HE HAVE IN MIND? OH GAWD, NO WAY! HAVE YOU TAKEN A LOOK AT THOSE REINCARNATION TABLES IN 3RO EDITIONP TIMMY JACKSON'S WORK T TELL YOU. THEY'RE WHACKED! 14 Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ WELL WHO CARES? IF IT’S A CHOICE BETWEEN L/VIN’ OR STAYIN’ DEAD I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES, 1 DON’T MIND COMIN’ BACK AS A HALF-ORC OR A DWARF OR SOMETHING IF THAT'S THE WAY THE DICE HAPPEN TO ROLL. SURVIVAL IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING! YEAH, JOHNNY GOT REAL CHINTEY WITH His GOLD AND THOUGHT HE’? GO THE CWEAP ROUTE WHEN HIS Rar ee tee oN ae HALF-OGRE BATILE DANCER BIT THE B/G ONE/ TO JOHNNY KIZINGKI THAT ONE TIME? HE GOT RE/NCARNATED AND CAME YEAH, YEAH, I'VE WEARD THE STORY. BUT YOU LEFT OUT THE FACT BACK AS A GIBBERING SHE-BABOON/ THAT HE ROLLED A ZERO-THREE!! JUST BAD LUCK ALL AROUND. x BETTER WEED HIS YOU MUST BE TALKIN’ ABOUT WHITEY THE MAN CRIED ADVICE, DAVE. 1 KNOW ‘MORAN, POOR FOOL! HE'D BARELY REAL TEARS! A ‘OF A’ GUY OVER IN STARTED SPROUTING LEGS AND CHARACTER WITH A ‘KOKOMO WHO HOPPING ABOUT WHEN A PAIR OF "BRILLIANT TEN CAME BACK AS FORAGING RACCOONS DI? HIM IN. YEAR LEGACY -- RUINED IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE. we | Se tere el LIKE T SAID, 1’M WILLING TO TAKE ACTUALLY B.A,, ACCORDING TO THE RULES \F A PLAYER CAN LAY DOWN A FOUNDATION THAT HIS DECEASED NOW HOLD ON, FOLKS. I'VE MY CHANCES. GO AHEAD AND LET THIS GO ON FAR ENOUGH. HAVE ME RE/NCARNATED, SARA. YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE CHARACTER HAD A STRONG BOND WITH ‘A LIVING CHARACTER HE HAS A ABLE TO COMMUNICATE YOUR CHARACTERS’ WISHES TO SARA, YOU'RE ALL DEAD. PERCENTAGE CHANCE OF BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THAT CHARACTER == BASED ON THE LENGTH OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE URGENCY OF THE DESIRED MESSAGE. DAVE, ARE YOU SUREP ‘THOSE TABLES ARE WEIGHTED TOWARD UNDESIRABLE RESULTS. ‘MAYBE YOU SHOULD... ¥ I's — OKAY, REALLY. Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine * November, 2000 15 -SIGH- FINE! WHAT DO ICARE? IF YOU WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH JUSTINA, DAVE, TLL ALLOW YOU TO AAAA-UMMMMMM!!! SUSTINAAAAAAAAAL HEAR MEEEEEEEE/ T WISH TO BE REINCARNATED. ‘OH-BAAAAAAY WY REQUESSSSSTITI/ OKAY, THE ROGUE PRIEST TAKES YOUR \ (OKAY, DAVE. IT’S YOUR 2400 GOLD PIECES SEND ONE MESSAGE. OH LORD... 3 ’ UNERAL. BUT, GOOD AND INSTRUCTS THE . MARK MY WORDS/ CONSIDER IT A FREEBIE? YER GOING TO Feaeilgata PnnTh THE RITUAL, YOU DON'T EVEN REGRET FOR THE OUTCOME, HAVE TO ROLLS THIS DUDE! \ ‘ OKAY, TIME FOR THE SIXTY-THREEP HEY THAT'S ABOUT AVERAGE! MAYBE MOMENT OF TRUTH! THAT’S NOT TOO TLL BE HUMAN OR EVEN ELVEN, \ LOW, T SUPPOSE, / SIXTY-THREEP Ne WHAT'S HE / OH GAWDII? COME BACK ASP HE"S HOSEDL, AND Ir LOOKS LIKE A SIXTY- | THREE! 14 ere er) Top 100! Games Magazine's 2000 Buyers’ Guide This ambitious combination S ven includes a glimpse of appreciate its fascinating Tiances .. You wil also = he bo amazed at how much (ché-ba-ché) sc eeexee action The new strategic board game combining elements of here fs inthis tiny arena,” Checkers, Backgammon and Chess Joti MeCalton BD unite bridging the gaps between them. "mms it's terrific fun .. If you are looking for an exciting game built on familiar principles, that has an addictive quality and will also stretch your strategic faculties, | strongly recommend Chebache. | love this elegant game and | think you will too." = Mitch Thomashow, TheGamesCafe.com "Now, whenever | play Backgammon, | find mysolf wishing that | was playing Chebach Jake Davenport, Contagiousdreams.com Pardee Games For 2 players, Ages 10 & up, pops = WWW.Chebache.comMm asmnay. cane, (607) 272-4718 PardeeGames@lightlink.com U.S. $29.95 retail ‘cnabace reared racer ct Pardee Games. Copyright 1907-2000 Pardon Garas_At ight esr S Pall 791,680; 030437, 6 082502 16 Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ My ‘Grubby’ Little Friend o.yasomn THIS |S HORRIBLE! I GOT BUTTERFLIES \N MY STOMACH! 1 CAN'T BELIEVE T/M TAKING THIS KIND OF RISK WITH THE RAV. LET'S SEE NOW... AAAAAH, LOOKS LIKE BR/AN WAS RIGHT. THE REINCARNATION TABLES ARE ON PAGE 105 JUST LIKE HE SAID. ‘OH YEAH -- DEATH CAN BE SUCH ‘A PAIN IN THE ASS SOMETIMES HUH, DAVE? =CHUCKLE- C'MON, ALREADY/? WHAT'S IT SAY? WHAT DID EZ RAVAGER COME BACK ASP THE SUSPENSE |S KILLING ME. KILLING You? UH-OH/ YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS, DAVE. OH GAWD-- 1 KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS... TELL ME IT’S A PUXIE FAIRY. PLEASE, No/ 1/0 JUST DIES OH NO.wI1”S A GNOME ISN'T ITY HUH? ~GULP- DON’T R-R-ROT GRUBII! T ONLY WISH IT WAS. -SIGH- SAYS OOOOHHH, DAVE. HERE YOU JUST CAME BACK AS A \ YOu POOR Guy, CANDY-STRIPED ROT GRUB! OH LORDS THE ‘HUMANITY! NO WAY THE RAV'IS GOING TO BE SOME STUPID BUG!! 1'0 RATHER BE DEAD/! BRIAN, DUDE, PLEASE TELL ME THERE’S A WAY OUT OF THIS. ROT GRUBP?I? HOW CAN THAT BEP ARE YOU ‘SURE YOU READ THAT RIGHT? EL RAVAGER THE MAGNIFICENT =~ A. Au. ROT GRUBPP/! DON’T SWEAT IT, DAVE, WITH AN WELL, DUDE, LOOKS OU OTA LOOK AT. ANIMAL INTELLIGENCE |T’S NOT LIKE YOU MANAGED TO x THE POSITIVE SIDE -- LIKELY E£ RAVAGER IS ‘WORM’ YOUR WAY MTERALLYS YOUR WEEKLY RATION EVEN AWARE OF HIS FATE. OUT OF A STICKY HA HAM! ere, rbd AT LEAST HE’S STILL IN SITUATION. -WAR/- HY /@00) \ YOU'LL SAVE A FORTUNE? NEWS NaN YEAH, YOU COULD HAVE COME BACK / @ = Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 2000. ———_———— 17 C’MON, QUIT JOKING AROUND. I’M SERIOUS. |S THERE ANY WAY OUIT OF THIS? HUH? WELL... THERE IS OWE WAY. BLIT IT WOULD ONLY SEND ‘YOU BACK TO THE SPIRIT WORLD AND MAKE YOU ELIGIBLE FOR RESURRECTION AGAIN -- BACK TO YOUR OLD BODY. YOU'D BE RIGHT BACK IN THE SAME SITUATION AS BEFORE AND 2,400 G.P.S SHOT! i WHO CARES ABOUT THE GOLD/ WHAT \ DO I NEED TO DOPP/! HU? TELL ME/ ACCORDING su SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN RE/NCARNATED DIES WITHIN 24 HOURS AFTER COMING BACK IN THEIR NEW FORM THE REINCARNATION DOESN'T TAKE AND THE SOUL IS STILL LINKED TO THE OLD BODY RATHER THAN THE RE/NCARNATED BODY. OTHERWISE, AFTER 24 OURS IF YOU DIED AND WERE SUBSEQUENTLY RESURRECTED... \ YOU'D SIMPLY COME BACK AS A ROT GRUB AGAIN, NOT A PROBLEM THE CLOCK IS TICKING. \ SARA, QUICK STOMP MEI! pur C'MON SARA/ PUT THE POOR ‘BASTARD our oF HIS MISERY! | 1 BEG YOU PARDON? | KikL MEL L SURE YOU CAN/ JUST TAKE THOSE S/ZE-SEVENS AND HEEL STOMP ME! I'M BEGGIN’ YA! KILLLLLLL MEEEEEE/!! POSSIBLY KILL A GOOD FRIEND IN COLD BLOOD! vor ous nue | CRAP! YOU KILL ME, DAMMIT/ YOU OWE ME/ DAVE, JUSTINA IS LAWFUL GOOD! SHE COULON’T I CAN'T STAND To SEE HIM SUFFER LIKE THIS. PLEASE, SARA, DO IT/ OH... ALRIGHT! I SUPPOSE 1 COULD SUSTIFY IT AS A MERCY KILLING. 00 I GET FOR THE STOMPIN’ THE Nt GRUB WORM? T STOMP ON YOU a ‘AND GRIND MY ~SNICKER- HEEL UNTIL YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A GREASE SPOT, ‘T-T-THANKS, SARAy 18 HEY B.A! HOW MANY EXPERIENCE POINTS OH. MAR HARIZ THAT'S REAL FUNNY! I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU CAN FIND HUMOR IN THIS, T CAN'T BELIEVE T LET YOU TALK’ ME INTO THE REINCARNATION THING! YEAH, RIGHT. WHATEVER/ I'M JUST TAKIN THE E.P.5 WHERE 1 FIND 'EM/ ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAYP Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ BY JOLLY BLACKBURN Why Didn't you Say so? WELL GUYS, IT LOOKS LIKE THE “UNTOUCHABLE TRIO --PLUS ONE” MAY HAVE FINALLY MET ITS END. THIS GLY ISN’T GOING TO BREAK ON HIS PRICES, BUT DON’T GIVE UIP HOPE, BOYS. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SOLO ADVENTURE FOR WEEKS I'LL RA/SE THAT MONEY. \ 1'D SUGGEST HEADING DOWN TOWARD PROPHET ROCK! THERE ARE SOME GOOD SOLO MODULES SET DOWN THERE WITH DECENT TREASURE, HEY IF YOU CAN TRACK DOWN RUDY HE OWES ME 500 GOLD. MAYBE YOU CAN COLLECT. GOOD LORO/ THE ENDP HOW DID IT COME TO THISP A FEW WEEKS AGO WE COMMANDED ARMIES! THE ROGUE PRIEST SUDDENLY LOOKS STARTLED. "MUH LADY, D-D-DID YOU JUST SAY, THE UNTOUCHABLE TRIO? ARE THEY THE FALLEN COMRADES YOU HAVE BROUGHT MEP” THE POOR MAN IS VISIBLY SHAKING AS HE AWAITS YOUR ANSWER. HEH, HEH// NOW THAT I'VE BROKEN THEM IT’S TIME TO LET THEM ‘OFF THE HOOK! AND T WOULON’T PUT IT PAST THIS SL/ME BALL TO TURN ME IN ALONG WITH YOUR BODIES, QuICk, SARA! He's ‘SURPRISED! GET THE JUMP ON HIM. \ DAVE’S RIGHT/ RUN ‘KUL YUE Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 2000 UH OH! THIS CAN'T BE GOOD, OW DEAR/ THE BOUNTY ON OUR MEADS! THINK T Just BLEW IT GUYS. HE KNOWS/? NO... JUSTINA COULD NEVER DO THAT WITHOUT KNOWING FOR SURE WHAT HIS /NTENTIONS ARE. \ B.A, T ADMIT THAT MY FRIENDS WERE THE UNTOUCHABLE TRIO AND THAT J, IN FACT, AM THE “PLUS ONE” PART OF THE ACT. WHAT'S HIS REACTION? I’M READY TO DRAW MY SWORD AND FIGHT IF NEED BE, BUT 1’M WAITING FOR HIM TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, youre \ GIVING UP FIRST NOW YOU'VE DONE IT, MISSY/ IT'S ABOUT TO HiT THE PROVERBIAL FAN, 19 THE PRIEST LOOKS AT YOU AND SMILES. *OH... REALLY?" THEN HE LAUGHS? “WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU SAY SOP" TURNS OUT HE'S BEEN A B/G FAN OF YOUR ADVENTURING PARTY FOR YEARS. iS °AS A MATTER OF FACT, MY YOUNGER BROTHER, PLINY, USED TO RAISE YOU == GUYS ALL THE TIME? "OH, AND WHEN YOU GUYS BUSTED UP OL’ G/LEAD'S LITLE PEACE CONFERENCE WITH THE SOUTHERN ORC LEAGUE? I LOVED THAT/ THOSE STINKIN’ ORCS KILLED MY GRANDPARENTS!” s THE ROGUE PRIEST GOES ON AND ON ABOUT YOUR EXPLOITS. AS A MATTER OF FACT, FOR YEARS HE'S BEEN HOPING TO RUN INTO YOU. SAY. WE M/SJUDGED BID YOu THIS DUDE, HE’S KEWL, SAY tS HE SEEMS REALLY EXCITED, SARA. HE SUGGESTS THAT, GIVEN THIS NEW INFORMATION, MAYBE THE TWO OF YOU CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT AFTERALL, OH, SO NOW HE WANTS TO 00 BUSINESS, HUHP T PLAY TT COOL AND TELL HIM 1’ WILLING TO WEAR HIM QUT. Hele Ce nu NORCKS. HEARO OF THE DUNGEONS OF KREATIN FAARPANG. HOT DAMN/ SEE? THIS He SAYS HE'D BE WILLING TO WAIVE? You IS WHY T ALWAYS WARP WAIVE HIS FEES IF YOU AND MEAN AS IN (ON KEEPIN’ OUR YOUR COMRADES AGREE TO FREEP GROUP HONOR 00 A LITTLE JOB FOR HIM, / FACTOR IN THE BLACK, KREATIN FAARPANGP?!! HEY, WASN'T HE THE WIGH PRIEST FOR THE APE GAWD IN THE SULTAN OF HACK NOVELP HOLY MOLY, HE WAS ONE CRAZY BAD DUDE/ NOBODY KICKED ASS AND TOOK NAMES LIKE THAT GUY. THEY EVEN HAVE A WICKED DRINK NAMED AFTER HIM AT THE CRAVEN MONK INN, IS HE SAYING HE'S FOUND KREATIN'S DUNGEON? OH HEART BE STILL - KREATIN WAS A 6000 RECALL, nit Doe ockeby Wen” CTBLCS. We vke BASED ON ONE OF ICS, HE WAS BASED ON ON! 808, BUT YOU'RE TARPATSAINGHED THOR ONCE 90 JO BBAB'G HAVER CHARACTER -- DEAD. THE ANP LIVED. TOTELL THE TALB/ ONE OF THE FIRST MULTI-CLASSED HIGH PRIEST'S LEVEL CHARACTERS IN MACKMASTER/ TALKING TO SARA, 20. —_$_______- Sse #49: The Six Million Hit-Paint Man™ SARA, THE PRIEST GOES ON TO EXPLAIN THAT THERE’S A CERTAIN ITEM IN THE DUNGEONS OF KREATIN FAARPANG HE'S DESPERATELY T EXPLAIN THAT WE WORK AS A BEEN TRYING TO GET HIS HANDS ON. IF YOU PROMISE TO RETRIEVE TEAM AND THAT I STAND VERY IT FOR HIM, HE’LL BE WILLING TO RAISE YOUR FRIENDS FOR FREE LITTLE CHANCE OF GETTING THE ITEM HE DESIRES WORKING ALONE, THERE'S NO WAY. T IMMEDIATELY AGREE TO HIS TERMS. AS SOON AS HE CAN RESURRECT MY COMRADES AND THEY ARE BACK TO FULL STRENGTH WE CAN BE ON OUR WAY TO THE DUNGEONS. HE SCRATCHES HIS CHIN AND x FROWNS. YOU MEAN RAISE THEM ‘YOU MEAN HE WANTS WE FIRST? Ol, NO, NO. I MEANT AFTER Wea Aone YOU RETRIEVE THE ITEM FOR ME, "BUT MU LADY, FORGIVE ME -- I MEAN NO /NSULT BUT IT WOULD BE VERY FOOLISH OF ME TO AGREE TO RAISE THEM F/RST. WHILE T ADMIRE THE UNTOUCHABLE TRIO FOR THEIR MANY DEEDS ANO HEROICS 1 WOULDN'T TRUST THEM AS FAR AS > COULD THROW TAEM. THEY WOULD JUST CLEAN OUT THE DUNGEONS AND MAKE OFF WITH ANY TREASURE THEY FOUND ALONG WITH THE /TEM I SEEK. THEIR REPUTATION IS WELL KNOWN, T HAVE TO HOLD SOMETHING... AS COLLATERAL. WELL SURELY THERE'S SOMETHING WE CAN DO, SOME KIND OF ARRANGEMENT SO WE BOTH GET WHAT WE WANT? NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, THERE IS SOMETHING... DAMN’ HE MUST'VE HEARD He DOESN'T ABOUT THAT LAND GRAB DEAL TRUST US? T BACKED OUT OF. 1 MEANT TO WAY NOT? PAY BACK THOSE /NVESTORS, HEH, HEH, YASPIGOICN, NOW FOR THE OTHER SHOE \ T COULD CovER THe cosTS DIMINISHED-RITEP I'S LAME? THAT'S WHAT IT 1S. YOU ONLY FOR A DIMINISHED-RITE, WHAT THE HELL 1S THAT? COME BACK AT MALF YOUR ORIGINAL IT WOULD JUST BE EXPERIENCE LEVEL! YOU ALSO HAVE 10 TEMPORARY YOU UNDERSTAND. MAKE SAVING THROWS AGAINST EACH OF YOUR ONCE YOU BROUGHT ME THE SKILLS OR THEY GO DOWN 1920 PERCENT. YTEM’, We WOULD GO AHEAD AND 0 A FULL-RESURRECTION. HALF PPL! THAT'S TOTALLY WHACKED! Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * November, 2000. 21 CR le WELL HE DID SAY IT WOULD ONLY BE TEMPORARY. YOU'D BE ALIVE -- THAT'S THE /MPORTANT THING. AND ONCE WE BRING HIM WHAT HE WANTS YOU'LL ALL BE YOUR OLD SELVES AGAIN. SO WHAT'S TO LOSEP OKAY, AND THAT TAKES CARE OF KNUCKLES. WELCOME BACK TO THE WORLD OF THE LIVING, FOLKS. THE ROGUE PRIEST MANAGED TO SCROUNGE UP SOME SIMPLE CLOTHING AND A SUIT OF LEATHER ARMOR ALONG WITH A FEW BLADED WEAPONS WHICH HE OFFERS YOU He APOLOGIZES FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO PROVIDE MORE. I SUPPOSE. BUT IT FEELS LIKE HE’S HOLDING PART ‘AK, MAN/ YOU BEAT ME TO. crue noone pm pies on ue Man 208 BE I GUST DON'T LIKE IT, HAVE TO 00 UNTIL WE THROUGH THE WEAPONS, CAN GET INTO TOWN. EVEN IN OUR DIMINISHED STATE WE'RE PRETTY KICK-ASS AS A TEAM, WE CAN RAISE THE 14,000 GOLD PIECES WE NEED IN A MATTER OF DAYS IF WE PUT (OUR MINDS TO IT, BOB CAN DO A LITTLE PICK-POCKET ACTION IN THE MARKET I GUESS THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS AFTER HEALING UP. |S TO GET BACK TO THAT PAWN SHOP AND TRY AND GET SOME (OF OUR STUFF BACK, HOW MLICH ARE WE IN HOCK? " ABOUT 20 GRAND/ WE ONLY HAVE Rodi AsOuT SX THOU LEFT INTHE KITY. AND || pg tACE HUE T USE MY GAMBLING MY FRICKIN’ WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO BLY HORSES AND ROLL OVER OUR GOLD. ot {AND PROVISIONS Cut OF THAT. , SLAYING! HEY, THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA, EVEN AT 8TH LEVEL KNUCKLES |S NO SLOUCH! AND I COULD RUN MY ARM WRESTLING SCAM/ DON'T SWEAT IT, GUYS. CEA THE ROGUE PRIEST OABS THE CORNER OF HIS MOUTH WITH HIS NAPKIN AND APOLOGIZES. HE CLEARS AWAY THE PLATES ON THE TABLE AND ROLLS OUT A HUGE MAP THAT SHOWS THE ROUTE TO THE SECRET PATH OF THE DUNGEONS OF KREATIN AARPANG. YOU HAVE BEEN SEATED AT AN EXTRAVAGANT DINNER WHERE YOU ARE WINED AND DINED! THE SALADS LACED WITH MEDICINAL HERBS THAT WILL SPEED YOUR RECOVERY AND YOU'LL BE GIVEN ROOMS IN THE TEMPLE WHERE YOU'LL BE NURSED BACK TO HEALTH BEFORE SETTING OUT ON YOUR QUEST. GEE, MIGHTY NICE OF THE HEY, THAT'S RIGHT. HE GUY, BUT, UH, WHAT NEVER DID TELL US. ABOUT THIS DUNGEON He TALKED ABOUT? AND “JUST EXACTLY WHAT PROBABLY SOME MAJOR RELIC! | DOES HE WANT US TO \ "NOW WERE |S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO.u# BRING BACK FROM IT? 22. Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ Jaihecsam a abate Unless you make the right move. It is the spring of 1941. fT Ce Nm OR Eire) PORE set sects er CeCe DEN tae My commer aU meget er anes arte oie TSU ung gees eerie etd PUR ume NET Roe amc) STOR cele VTLS eR RUC eR g NUR RL) / ONE-TWO PUNCHES) BACK OFF, JACK!! YOU TRY ONE MORE STUPID STUNT LIKE THAT AND T’LL SOME PEOPLE ZAP YA WITH MY “TOUCH ARE JUST NOT CUT OF DEATH" ABILITY. ‘OUTTO PLAY MAGIC-USERS, BOB. UH... MAYBE BECAUSE YOU WERE SHOVING A TEA SERVICE SET DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR PANTS? LOOK, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY YOU DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO ROLL FOR TIMES YOU JUMP UP AND DOWN IT, C/MON B.A. SHE HAS THE HOTS FOR AND SCREAM, “LAY /T ON ME Me, WHY ELSE WOULD SHE HAVE BEEN MAMA!” YOUR ATTEMPT TO EYE-BALLING Me LIKE THAT? SEDUCE THE PRINCESS FAILS, NOW CAN WE PLEASE CONTINUE WITH THE KING'S BALL? WE WERE ALLOWED AT PIZZA HUT, Dine is 2640, PM sernue server cur HAM | surposeo 70 FIRE TO SNETHING VAL. AGAIN KNOW THE VIZIER WAS THAT MOVES? S000 cure mers ALWAYS Bd IN THE He caniep wie Awan vatconna Wick ie 456 wey Sean THB ‘HENLE JUST BLOW PRINCESS? SHES A a PAY. "THe THRONE UP AND seenes PasShoes? VL anes Non Srler ouomae ranches ry Fie pean soar he ae A (508/77) Ae'Stor neuro ‘The above home-brewed pane by Ban Burke shows the entire gang (ihe Knights and the Black Hands) playing one huge Hack est! Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ ees! Intergalactic Colonization. Rue Re eee rtd Ree om coc : ee Roe OM eT) Fe ee PRR Cnty cic aa BT UU RCo a OVI ee Lael es RCM RU Rec) rl iccmemael ul Mec} SelM Eu ole Perea een Ted PMU CRe gL ae aur’ CMC Meee nea BRUT Lme Wao. ce1Lel a Ue LC) PWC ane Ca Cyan aN Ae cle meel ene ASO Cm ai ec eee aCe} Pomp ects ee (10) EU oo ae MORE Ce ecuseo ace AVALON HILL Nery WHAT'S THIS GUY'S STORY? Se RS Cue eee aC Oe a eS oa RT ST eee ncaa SEIMEI Rm UMMM eT Cure SNe CNM CeCe PM Mm eco e OCR me ame Mette Beek tn} Co eR SMe Smee Ss Ue iar) PRR ammo eca noe Welcome aS SMC RCcrICe DM eae Rca coca ka \ ene ea eae ROLEPLAYING GAME SHORECON PHOTO-GALLERY LE Sein SNM ICC ad” iy, 7 Re Ee eae ace Le es ‘everyone had a great time! Here are some ofthe highlights from the show, u Cen [sera Teer Peoeery errant iy This year we ran more KODT Live Readings than ever before, (Anata | ae Oy aed eee rectal dasa errs ie big eo pees ot te stow i ped i wat Sho Ln I aL TE od i yearn ios Atemeadeaenmeal ea ne ne eed ; en ie ea enna as a eee bart epg sg Ys ine ome aT ca en eae ed ea eee ee ete eer ee Freer gor etx piopedanpah ped pr) Heavens to Merga-Troll! neon oni ENRON a HIS PITIFUL SCREAMS SLOWLY FADE AS HE DROPS FROM AS YOU INCH YOUR WAY ALONG THE NARROW SIGHT. /MMENSE FEELINGS OF GUILT STAB AT YOU LIKE A LEDGE ON THE MOUNTAIN'S FACE, HUGGING RUSTY DAGGER AS YOU RECALL THE PROMISE YOU MADE THE ROCK AS THOUGH YOUR L/VES DEPENDED TO HIS LITTLE G/RL -- THAT HER FATHER WOULD BE HOME ON If, A STIFF WIND SUDDENLY WITH A FAT COIN PURSE IN TIME TO CELEBRATE GRONGER WHIPS UP AND TUGS AT YOUR CLOTHING, FEST WITH HER AND HER SICKLY LITTLE BROTHER. SW) \ HEY, WE JUST S4/D SWE. g DAMN! MY PORTABLE FORGE RV a YOUR HEAVILY LADEN PACK THAT BECAUSE NOBODY Was IN THOSE PACKS HE WAS & nt BEARER LOSES HIS WANTED TO SIGN UP CARRYING. SO MLICH FOR MAKING )” FOOTING AND GOES SPINNING WITH US WITH THE | ARMOR REPAIRS ON THE FLY. OFF HEAD OVER HEELS AS HE HOLIDAYS COMING UP. / —~——_ HURTLES TOWARD THE VALLEY FLOOR FAR BELOW, ae T/Le TELL YOU ONE THING -- WHOEVER OREW THAT MAP THE Ci ROGUE PRIEST GAVE US, HAD SOME FRICKIN’ NERVE CALLIN’ THIS P/ECE-OF-TRASH GOAT TRAIL A “MOUNTAIN PASS", THIS ONE-SIXTEENTH MOVEMENT RATE |S FOR THE BIRDS! THe RULES CLEARLY STATE THAT MOVEMENT IS ONLY HALVED WHEN UTILIZING PASSES! AS YOU CAUTIOUSLY WORK YOUR WAY AROUND THE BEND, YOU DISCOVER A PRECARIOUS LOOKING ROPE BRIDGE JUST A Few HUNDRED YARDS AHEAD. APPARENTLY PART OF THE LEDGE FELL AWAY YEARS AGO LEAVING A B.A. EXPLAINED THAT, BOB. THIS LEDGE WAS WIDE GAP NOW SPANNED BY THE BRIDGE. GNOME-ENGINEERED WHICH ACCOUNTS FOR ITS NARROWNESS. THE GNOME TITANS BUILT THIS TRAIL DURING THE TROLL WARS IN ORDER PRECARIOUS? CRAP... TO REDIRECT THEIR BROKEN SUPPLY LINES. THERE'S ALWAYS A (OH YOU JUST FeW NEGATIVE NOW. \ WE JUST HAVE TO BE MODIFIERS HIDDEN | WA WORD LiKE THAT. | ‘AS YOU ARE STUDYING THE BRIDGE A LARGE TROLL BRANDISHING AN AXE STEPS ‘OUT FROM A SHALLOW TUNNEL WHICH HAS 3EEN BORED INTO THE ROCK FACE -- SERVING AS HIS LAIR. HE LOOKS TOWARD YOU AND GIVES YOU A MENACING GRIN. SHYA'RIGHT =~ IT'S A GOOD SIGN, ALRIGHT. IT’S A SIGN HE"S GONNA TROLL?! DAWN/ 1 SURE WISH ror ci LOOKS LIKE HE a Are ae IBCs HE Me EXTORT SOME AND OF POINT. THIS LEDGE |S TOO GOING TO HAVE THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. FROM LS IN ORDER TO NARROW FOR US TO RE-ADJUST TO TURN BACK? / LSE His BRIDGE. (OUR MARCHING ORDER. | SE THe rote EN orsnaes FOR i { Ln a 28 Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ AS YOU APPROACH THE TROLL HIS GRIN GROWS EVEN WIDER. “GOOD AFTERNOON, FOLKS/ You yuST MADE IT IN TIME, I WAS ABOUT TO CLOSE UP FOR THE DAY, BEEN A BIT OF BAD WEATHER ON UP THE PASS THE PAST FEW WEEKS -- A LOT OF SNOW HAS FALLEN UP THERE SO THERE HAVEN'T BEEN MANY TRAVELERS KNOCKING ABOUT ON THE TRAIL. NO MATTER =~ COME ON IN AND SHARE MY FIRE, I'VE GOT ‘SOME GROUSS ON/ON STEW AND DAY-OLD BREAD INSIDE, I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO DRAW ANY FRESH WATER TODAY BUT T CAN OFFER YOU SOME FAIR TASTING WINE, HOW'S THAT GRAB YOUP HE SURE DOESN'T ACT SO0ONESS © INE ALWAYS A GOODNESS - I'VE ALWAYS DON'T HAR 100 Rroi oor UKE ATROLL WHAT GIVES? WANTED To Weer YOU SAY THIS GUY WAS A TROLL? ONE OF THESE GUYS, ‘APPARENTLY THIS PARTICULAR CLAN WERE YOUR TYPICAL TROLLS UP UNTIL A FEW HUNDRED YEARS AGO. THEN, ACCORDING TO LEGEND, A RELIGIOUS ZEALOT NAMED MERGA IKOR WHO WAS HUMAN, MIND YOU ~~ CONVERTED THEM FROM THEIR BEAST CULTS OVER TO THE GAWD, IKKA PAATANG. /KKA MUST HAVE BLESSED THEM OR SOMETHING BECAUSE WITHIN A FEW DECADES THEIR CULTURE BEGAN TO BLOSSOM. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT THE HELLIS A MERGA-TROLLP WELL, THEY'RE MORE COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS THE \C/VIL/ZED TROLLS’ BY OUTSIDERS, civiizeo ‘ ‘ : WE LEARNED ALL ae SADLY THERE AREN'T MANY OF THEM mransp nurs Ne AeARMn A AND We'RE LEFT SINCE JKKA PAATANG DEMANDS AN OXYMORON! — WACKMASTER CAMP! TAMROLES | HER FOLLOWERS TO BE CELIBATE. WHAT'S THE DEAL ere \ THANK GAWD WITH THIS GUY? FOR THAT/ \ ss Own P YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE MERGA-TROLLS, BRIANP PROBLEM? DAMN STRAIGHT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEM. IT AIN'T NATURAL! THEY GO AGAINST EVERYTHING £/STED UNDER TROLLS IN THE HACKLOPEDIA OF BEASTS! I WISH THEY'D NEVER LET TIMMY JACKSON SCREW AROUND WITH THEIR SOCIETY 8 HABITAT ENTRIES, T THINK IT'S NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE VARIETY IN THE MIX, HMMRRRFFF/ IF YOU WANT AND NAKES THNGS INTERESTING, MMR ee ear THEY UST DREW UPON SOME WARRIOR FANTASTIC" ‘COS (OF THE /DEAS NORMAN , BOWZER PRESENTED IN His THAT'S WHAT HACKMASTER WILL TROLL FURY." __,BECOME IF THEY DON'T LEARN TO 00K, HOLD THE LINE, THEY NEVER, NEVER ‘SHOULD HAVE STARTED MESSING + kurtmolay: AROUND WITH THE GAME LIKE THAT, "ot Fry: Soe Bundle of Rouble ome Seven “Th Stig’ . "The Warrior Fantastic: Mor HackMaator hit the sholos, «rash of pol fe ales soon flowed, Most came and wen wt iti are, One gama, however, fm Sson Head ( i Fart) manage ow are tloing The RPG Hackl tf tena i tery nt Bon Hod began fo Ya! ga ne sete iene net gu some aet Oka foe ‘ = a Knights of the Dinner Table” magazine * November, 2000 29 BRIAN, LIGHTEN UP/ IT’S JUST ONE TROLL CLAN. WHY’S IT A B/G DEALP fl | COZ THAT'S HOW IT STARTS. SOME UNQUALIFIED /D/OT GETS HIS FOOT IN | “we ooom aN resis THe NEED To | PUT HIS THUMBPRINT ON EVERY- | THING, WADCA YA THINK LDA OKAY, I’M AFRAID I’M GOING TO HAVE TO INTERRUPT ‘OUR HOST. THAT WAS A F/NE DRAMATIC READING OF ‘THE TROLL WHO CAME DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAIN’ BUT IT’S GETTING LATE, T EXPLAIN THE MEAL WAS MARVELOUS BUT WE'RE ON A QUEST. WE MUST CONTINUE ON OUR WAY. ‘A SACK LUNCHP HE’S GOING TO PACK HAPPENED TO WARRIOR FANTASTICP i HE EXPRESSES HIS SINCERE REGRETS THAT YOU MUST DEPART THEY HAD A NICE LITTLE GAME UNTIL THE RULE-TWEAKERS: GOT THEIR MITS ON IT, BUT HE N UNDERSTANDS. HE ol OFFERS TO PACK YOU A He LUNCH FOR THE ROAD. WaATeveR/| if a US A SACK LUNCH? OH FOR THE LOVE OF... THIS AIN'T NATURAL! T THANK HIM FOR MENDING MY LEGGINGS, THAT WAS: eae ‘OF HIM, © = I ed OKAY, ToLt KIND. BROACH THE SUBJECT SOON ENOUGH SO T’LL MAKE IT EASY FOR HIM. T ASSUME THERE’S A ‘A TRIBUTE OF SOME oe et "OH... NO, WE DID AWAY WITH TOLLS. THE MERGA TRAVELLERS AID SOCIETY DECIDED TO TAKE A DIFFERENT APPROACH YEARS AGO. WE ACCEPT DONATIONS WHICH GO TOWARD MAINTAINING THE TRAIL AND ITS BRIDGES BUT IT’S STRICTLY VOLLINTARY. INVOLVED HERE OR WHAT'S THE TABP DONATION?PP/! OH FOR THE... BA, SOUNDS LIKE THIS GUY IS PRETTY MUCH AT BASE WITH US AND ALL. I'M GOING TO MOVE BEHIND HIM AND SHOVE HIM OVER THE EDGE OF THE TRA/L. He LOOKS THe DAMAGES SURPRISED? How MUCH IS \TAB>* THIS GOING TO Cos us? ivi Xe s IT'S A TRADE OFF. THE COMMERCE GENERATED BY TRAVELLERS SUCH AS YOURSELVES MOVING TM SURE HE’LL RE-GEN LATER ‘AND CLIMB — BACK UP, THROUGH OUR TERRITORY \ IS GREATLY APPRECIATED! ut We SHOULD BE LONG GONE! HEY B.A, I CALL DIBS ON THE DONATION BUCKET. THEN 1’M GONNA GRAB THE LAST OF THAT GROUS ONION STEW! NO PROBLEM, TAKE IT Adz. BUT PAYBACK'S COMIN’ == AND SHE'S RIDING A FAST HORSE! ‘OVER THE 30 OH MAN, THAT WAS KEWL! He JUST SHOVED THE DUDE \ WHY WOULD YOU D0 SUCH A CRUEL THING? BESIDES, KILLING A HOST WHO HAS PROVIDED YOU FOOD AND SHELTER \S A MINUS 50 TO YOUR PERSONAL HONOR! T-TOLDYOU = IT AIN'T NATURAL, T/M JUST HOLDING THE LINE. IT WAS WORTH ue PERSONAL COST. £061 SNICKER- ice again, weld like to remind our readers that a: views & opinions expressed in thiscolumn are not necesarily those of the editor or KenzerCo. Reviews & Ratings are presented exactly as submitted. Gritical Mass is meant to be an open forum where many opinions can be presented. Ifyou feel a game has gotten a bad rap or was unfairly critiqued by another reader we encourage you to share your own views: Jolly oOo TITLE: Siege PUBLISHER: Lon Bear Studios RETAML PRICE: aprox. $8.00 ‘Carecory: Non-collectable Card Game Recommend to a friend?: No Recommend for a Brian Award? No Propucrion VALUE iw lruie 2.25 Overall Production: 4 PLAY VALUE Rules Presentation: | System/Playability: 2 Replay Value: 5 CoMMENTS: I'm attracted to small press games because they are cheap and usually loads of fun to play. I also don't need to learn massive amounts of rules in order to have 10 minutes of fun. So when I saw Siege in a local games store, I thought of all the time I spent when I was younger thinking about knights storming castles, and I snatched it off the shelf. The game is packaged in a plastic ‘map box’ with two decks (one for the attacker, and the other for the defender), 12. pages of rules and two (small) dice. Set up for play involves finding cards in the decks and setting out a tableau consisting of ranks for each player. My wife and I were able to get through at least this much of the rules before we were lost. There are some rules covering some specific situa- tions, but very few rules covering general situations, and most of those rules were hard co understand, For instance: attacks are resolved by a single die roll, which is simple enough but the roll is based solely on, the attacking unit, An archer has an equal chance of destroying another archer as he does of destroying a catapult! Some cards (like moats) are useless unless they are drawn and used in the first turn! Event cards remain unexplained altogether: do they affect the person who played the card, her opponent, or both players? Ie also implied by the numbers on the cards that peasants can attack, but supply carts also have the same numbers on them, Does this mean that the attacker has supply carts rumbling over the battle- field running soldiers down?! ‘The illustrations are also very uneven. The art on some of the cards reminded me of the style of illus- trations used in old manuscripts, showing odd poses of individual characters. But authenticity buffs will be sorely disappointed. The ‘howmen’ cards clearly show a man holding a crossbow. And the illustra- tions for some things (famine, supply cart) look too modern. Alas, there are too many problems with to recommend it. My feelings are that this is eight bucks that I just threw down the drain. If you HAVE, to have this game, I would recommend taking the rules booklet, setting it on fire, and coming up with your own rules. You'll probably have more fun Tire: Dungeons and Dragons 3E Puptisiter: Wizards of the Coast ReTAN. Price: #19.95 : ‘Category: RPG Core rules (High Fantasy) Recommend to a friend?: Yes Recommend for a Brian Award?: Yes ‘PRODUCTION VALUE Wate Art & Illustration: 2 Overall Production: 5 PLAY VALUE Peatierarericld Replay Value: 5 Entertainment Valuer 5 ‘Toraus 31 OVERALL RATING + 443 REVIEWED BY: CatKnight CoMMENTS: D&D is back, and as good as she's ever been. ‘The epic high fantasy eel' which seemed to drift away as supplement after supplement over- whelmed Second Edition has returned, just in time r Knights of the Dinner Table” magazine * November, 2000 to hopefully bring another generation of RPGers into the fold. The game system itself has been greatly simplified and more thoroughly explained - this alone will help attract novice players. Character creation, even with the new abilities (ats), is relatively easy and characters are alittle more customizable than before, Classes and races are rel- atively balanced with few exceptions... (Humans are viable againt)... and the system is much harder to ‘break’ than say... Skills and Powers was. The only part that worries me so far are Attacks of Opportunity. If you want to simulate being ready 0 attack as an enemy moves within range... use the Ready action and hope you win initiative! Combined with cer- tain feats or the rogue's sneak atack ability, this new rul- ing can get nasty very fast ‘The only true weak part is the art, which is probably supposed to remind learned players of Leonardo daVinci’s drawings. ‘The first drawing is allegedly of a thirty year old male human. Strangely, I think everyone knows what thirty year old men look like. ‘The skeletal differences and chin angles looked like a primer on draw- ing more than anything. The only saving grace was the ‘equipment pictures, which in some cases were quite wel come, Overall... D&D is back, and as strong as ever if not stronger. The high fantasy genre hasn't received much role-playing support lately... now it's back in style. PusListier: Avalon Hill face 325 rarer $5 fr tower AC sPmcoy osipaie Gaara Recommend to a friendt: Yes Recommend for a Brian Award?s Comments: Stratego Legends is to Stratego what Magic: The Gathering is to Go Fish. This brilliane re- working of Stratego has a fantasy flare. As in Stratego, there is a board with several numbered playing. pieces, Unlike the original, however, when one piece challenges another, the higher number wins (barring special effects ~ welll get to those in a moment). The starter box comes with 4 squares of assorted terrain that are randomly assembled each game to create a unique playing field. Also included are 60 playing pieces (30 for each army) and stickers to differentiate them. The artwork on the stickers, though small, is very detailed. The pieces themselves have a little castle motif. 32 Play begins by arranging the armies on their respective sides at random, Some may think this removes the strate- gy element it but only heightens it. The pieces each have a special power (recorded on six handy reference cards) and these powers are the crux of the game’ strategic element. As before, you must defend your castle for the first play- er to reach the other's castle wins. [I always thought that twas strange, really, I always thought the castle was meant to defend the army...J So, from the outset you must scramble co get your pieces into a good, defensible position using regular ‘moves in conjunction with special powers and magic. Game play is simple and straightforward. Not counting sticker application time, this game should take a maxi- mum of 10 minutes to learn. Allthis alone would make Stratego Legends well worth the sticker price. But wait, there's more: its expandable. With more boards you can put them all cogether and play one giant battle or add more players to the game. Ofcourse, you'll need more pieces. Avalon Hill’ got ya covered here—there are two expansion packs (one for the good guys and one for the evil horde) thus far, and possibly ‘more to come Already special promo pieces have been given out at Origins and GenCon (4 different pieces in all. If anyone has the Origins set [UL swap ya my left eye... But the great partis that none of the extra pieces are necessary to play. The game plays beautifully without them! That said, hav- ing more pieces and thus being able to custom build armies is even more fun. You can focus on certain groups of pieces and decide the style in which you want to crush your enemies. The evil “mold” pieces are my favorite — nothing like rotting your enemies to death. This game has the most bang for the buck of any game I’ve played in a decade (with the possible exception of D&D 3rd edition). Well? Do you agree with the reviews presented by your fellow readers this issue? Do you disagree? We want to hear what you think. E-mail your comments to jolly@kenzerco.com And don't forget -you can download a Critical Mass review template from wu. com You seek? your OPINION FOTALLY BLOWS! Sh, saa Reap your ge BrveW UY, RELAX. YOU CAN, aihapeaa ‘SEND IN YOUR EDITION! You Sea mw Own’ cetriques AND set 1? RECORD STRAIGHT. waciaeae” \ ! x Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ tein 2385 Dwarven Bear rf at Cavalry Commander 2391 Kimberlee 2430 Rictur Diehn (Designed by Phillip Roop) (Winner of Reapers On-line painting Concest) MINIATURES: Sculpted in 25mm Heroic Scales ers To Find Our New Releases owt’ Playhouse Please Visit These Fine Ret. ‘Book and Game Emporim Caught You Looking! 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MO. 63109 ‘Mo (314) 36t-an18 (972) 434-3088 Lone Star Comics SME abe ‘tego, Fx 76010 semnmyeomcshap com Te HIT Be0STAR. ings Hobby a 70759 ‘maringercin.com ‘re (er2} 936-7388 Dragons Lair Comics 4049 Burra ond ‘oti 1 70700 Tx (62) 464-2380 1219 Ruse Hwy Fart Va 22000, fabeigeccom avo) 982.9222 5342 Foti va(sea) 77-4868 Le vet Co0ur ‘los stDene Monrst Gunboc, AN (CaN (aes) 49.8386 WWW.REAPERMINI.COM OURNEY THROUGH AMBER’S WEB OF SHADOWS by Kenneth Newquist ber isthe one true city, of which all other cities are but pale reflections. Ic resides on the one true earth nd from its place ar the center of realty it casts myr- iad Shadows to the very edge of chaos. Each of these shadows is an alternate reality, and those with the royal blood of Amber can walk through them, picking and choosing the worlds they want o live in. ‘This is the universe that Roger Zelazny introduced with his classic Amber Chronicles, and ics one that that has survived past his death thanks in part to a certain game the Amber Diceless Role-Playing Game by Phage Pres ‘Many gamers instinctively cradle their dice close to their chests when they hear of a game where not a single 20-sider is ever thrown. Others though, have embraced it, tod have oem of die ently. Not supitingy many of them can be found online, which is particularly wel-suit- ed to the game's particular mechanics. ‘Ti Rocer Zetazwy PAGE The first stop for any Zelazny fan ~- regardless of whether they play the RPG — should be The Roger Zelazny Page. The page may not look like much, but it has a tremendous amount of Zelazny material, including interviews, audio/video links, photos, links to other Zelazny resources and much more. Its a great place for anyone who wants ro learn more about Zelazny, or lament the face thae he died in 1995, ‘AMBER DICTIONARY PAGE ‘The Amber Dictionary Page is a simple page defining, ‘most of the major people, places and things in Zelazny’s universe, It’s an excellent page for GMs looking for a lit- tle inspiration -- its amazing the number of ideas that reviewing these old familiar names can jog loose. Most of the off-site links don't work, but it’ still worth vi Aue, THE GOLDEN Cincte ‘Named for the ring of kingdoms closest to Amber, The Golden Circle is a web ring made up of more than 200 ‘Amber sites. The web ring’s moderator keeps the ring cur- rent, and weeds out the inevitable 404s that crop up. A “Featured Pages” section helps sort through the cha, and fans can stop by the site's chat room to talk with oth- cers (but unfortunately the ste doesn’ appear to have regular- y scheduled chats). There's also an under-used discussion board, but you dorit come to a site like this for toys. You ‘come for links, and this one has plenty of them. NINE PRINCES This site from Hong Kong offers up an. alternative vision of Amber, one based on the question, “What if Roger Zelazny had merged his ideas with those found in the ‘films of Tui Hark, Jobn Woo and Ringo Lam?* Rather than sit atop the mighty mountain Kolvit, this version of the Eternal City sits on Hong Kong Island at the mouth of the Pearl River, NPiHK is abased on the Amber RPG, and the game offers a re-telling of the original Amber novels from its unique perspective. Fans get a chance to play new chapters at the annual AmberCon. THE AMBER DARWIN AWARDS ‘The Amber Darwin Awards were inspired by their real- world counterparts. Like the Darwin Awards, the Amber version is awarded to players/characters who kill off their characters in astoundingly stupid ways. Icas a litle more leeway than the real ones though, since it also includes characters who did stupid chings, but somehow lived through them. Its hilarious page for anyone who has an understanding of Amber, and even those who don't may get a few chuckles out of it ‘Avge E-MAmL List ‘The Amber E-mail List isan excellent resource for new bies and veterans alike. Most of the time ic doesn see a lor of traffic, buc it does have its occasional spikes. The sub- scribers are very helpful, and aspiring Amber RPG game masters would do well to join it. The lis's home page includes a frequently asked questions page, as well as instructions on how to join the lis. Equinox ‘On the campaign side of things, Equinox is the home page for a huge, and ongoing, play-by-e-mail Amber cam- paign. The site isa testament to the value of having a Web site for your game. It serves as combination archive and news service, and contains more information than a visitor can easily get through in an hour ~ or even 40 hours ~- of surfing. I particularly enjoyed the Players page, which gives a quick overview of the more than two-dozen char- acters in this game. toe Have a site that will make a game master life easier? Have a game sytem or campaign serting you'd like tose fea tured? E-mail me it to me at; knewguist@@nuketown.com ‘Tee ROGER ZELAZNY PAGE http: //zeLagny, corrupt net / AMBER DICTIONARY PAGE http: //www. stwing,upenn.edu/~avn/Anber . shtml ‘THe GoLDeN Circle http://www. chorazin,org.uk/geircle/ Nine PRINCES IN HONG KoNnG ‘hetp://wnw,matantiei.com/ghoul /9pinhk. hem) ‘The AMBER Darwin AWARDS http://www. geooities .com/Athens/Acropolia/ 1903/amber/darwin/index.htm Ammer E-MaAiL List http: //users.neca. com/ursa/ambertaq. him) Equinox http: //aww.equinox.org/ SaeIS AY wey POR | lappa ad fo eight es pod ble. We were hired to take care of things. Each of the bed the he h poe Fi gun man wean in wae Ts who wa uly id om + ym Curr age ad ds NPC append wo kn ‘That ed to a fight with The Virginian, and his brother, West. Then! tht" heas It fretted and bucked tied to hie and plummeed i ie othed and bucked, ed to run, and plummeted into wemet up witha our: ‘Utah, Montana, Colorado, and Nevada. space, The apprentice launched himself after the beast. No match for us. Then we got into a shoot ou with a gang: |” AC his point, we ried two things: ou wizards spell books, along Comes Idaho, Arizona and the Dakota Brothers: North and { with many other valuables, were in che horse’ saddle pack. Second, the Sout apprentice wuld not have jumped unless he had a Feather Fal pl ready. I started to get suspicious about then. Along the river we fought. As the apprentice cried, and failed, o remove the pack fom the fling “The man from Maine. The other in out party got suspicious with | hoe, a quick discussion ensued over jst what ‘iuon that horse. We ‘our next encounter. [twas the New gang: Hampshite, Jersey, York, ; realized «wo things: ftst, the key magic item we needed to get home, a ‘Metin along withthe Carolin lace NOvibialf Sots hollow tarahedron of balsa wood, wa in the pack, and, second, ou wi By the rime we mopped up the last of them, Delaware, Vermont, { sila his Wind of Levitan ‘Wich his trusty wand, che wiz levitated the unfortunate creatue Fenngylvania and he rwo newest members Alasa and Hawai We 1 ye jong, not he appreni). As the hore suddenly change dieto, couldn’ stop laughing, (It eped hat it was am by then) the apprentice grabbed forthe reigns, but mised. He east his Fazer "ee Dack tthe bar fae ot wth te igh. He ws |p Rve oer skeen aps maset alone and we thought we had the drop om him, when we was bush- | "This muse have pulled the old boys heatstings because the wizard whacked by th bar owners. Alo known as Miss Ousi, Mrs. Ippi | revesed she levitation and loyered che beast toward the apprentice. At and Louise E. Ana. this pine, weall ought this was very clever: the apprentice would lim T got extra x's by figuring out thatthe boss fist name was onto the horse and ride back up co cur ledge ‘Washington, and that he usualy went by his nal, Washington {Bur ust asthe hor loomed went fe above the spec, ped exceeded the range ofthe levitation spel. ‘The wizard gaped in horror. The apprentice squeaked and floundered inthe air. The horse plummeted earthward. ‘As the hore hit the earth far below an -on its saddle, smashing the HONESTLY SPEAKING... crs intpt impaling pence wo teal te floor, we realized two things first, we were stuck onthe threshold ofa by Sort hs ap cro Ce bby Sewart Fores | rrmancers lt wth a deprewed ward and a Blind paladin; second, ‘was running a group through scenario pack called ‘Stanton’, an old. | our gamemaster was giglingunconuollably. D&D scenato pack, Amongst the group was one player, Alan, who never let anything faze his good humour. You could crow hazard after hazard in his ditetion and he kept smiling - nothing ever got to sccng the party in his temple he demanded to know who they were and him, wha they wer doing in his temple ‘During the Searstone campgn the group had uncovered the working Before anyone coud teact Alan immediately responded to the Cle ‘of an evil Cleric in the area. After much searching the party eventually “Were desenasing it icoverd the a that his Cleric ma using, The pry tl into the la This was al sid as iit was che most natural hing say, wih Alan and soon found dhs inthe underground temple hac this Cleric sling ccf coghot ch ete delivery, Eton in the tad eublihed. "They ely def the few undead purine thx 804? ising ysl lout aging everyone stunned bythe sin ‘soda ce ele nd ep sch rw. An howto wit Cle ue at ie ed sede playing a Monk, decided that other action had to be taken, so he set Gy) with his words, then the Cleric too would be taken aback, about defiling the altar inthis temple. Halfway through this asecret door Needles to say, the party were able to overwhelm the Cleric quickly.) the parry had not located opened and the evil Cleric entered. Upon rune the nandit by tan Mevronald [OVER THE PAST Few YEARS, ROTHLAND HAS BECOME A MORE VOLE KINGDOM... Knights of the Dinner Table” magazine * November, 2000 ERE, ECON CUCRE) SERRA / Eden Studios presents Kinights of toe Dlinner FT: HACK! oe The fastest, easiest way to slaughter helpless NFCs, steal your friend's items, and have your skin Melted of fF by vicious Traps. Pen cota er ce ing back out for more buttkicking %o if yout finally ready to play a decent Star ‘Trek game, check this one out, Blasting Borg, has never been more fun, Wel, it finally happened. I picked up a first person shoot- cr that I just couldn't enjoy. KISS: Psycho Circus really had me excited with its promises of DOOM-like quantities of monsters to bash. The basic story of the game is you take control of 4 dudes, each running through monster packed levels picking up various pieces of KISS costumes until you finally have them all, While I can appreciate the effort, first person shooters are all ebout the monsters, the levels, the ‘weapons, and the battles, The story just doesn't matter The monsters are plentiful, colorful, and interesting. You've got swarms of littl spider dudes, you've gor some flap- ping things, some floating gas bags, and many variants on the evil clown theme. A very nice bunch, although the reliance on those little spider dudes causes the levels to all look the same after a while, I wish they could have upgraded them or some- thing...it’s hard for the excitement to build when on the last level, you're fighting hordes of the same types of goons that you fought on the first level. Other than the slight lack of variety in the monsters, the levels are interesting, running the usual mix of modern city and Hell, with an understandable circus theme in most of them, Sometimes you'll find yourself stopping to just take a look around, although certain areas just seem to generate monsters regularly, so sightseeing is generally not recom- mended. Shame. ‘Ah, the weapons; this is where the game collapses, They're all so weak. The rate of fire is generally slow, the damage is 3) Grey Ghost Press, Inc. hitp://www.fudgerpg.com Fudge Expanded Edition + Easy to play (the word-based system and simple game mechanic to resolve actions make it easy to concentrate on the story rather than the rules) * Skilldriven (choose broadly defined skill groups or detailed individual skills — or anything in between) + Flexible (create any character in any genre; any style from gritty realism to legendary heroics) + Customizable (choose your own attributes, skills, gifts, faults, and more; every rule is optional!) Available at The Gamer's Realm (www.gamersrealm.com or 877-658-8754) and Other Fine Game Stores! Knights of the Dinner Table” magazine * November, 2000 generally feeble, the ammo isn't sufficient (which would be ‘more tolerable if you could fire more rapidly). Hordes of monsters are no fun if you can't kill them. You start with an amazingly powerful melee weapon (cap, a sword), and, time and again, you'll give up using the shotgun” and clear the room with your sword. Not onl you miss the noise and bloodshed of the chainsaw, you'll find yourself so frustrated at grabbing yet another new weapon, and finding it’s just as useless as every other weapon you have. The biggest disappointment has to be the Jack in the Box. He’s really cute. You chuck him like a grenade, He pokes his head out. If he sees something, he explodes. Otherwise, he'll just keep looking around until something shows up. A nice idea, but that explosion seems hardly more effective than a firecracker. Because the weapons are so feeble, the battles just can't be interesting, You'll shoot, dodge, shoot, dodge...that's enough to kill one small bad guy. Then repeat. Then repeat Then repeat. Alternatively, you can swing the sword, crush everything around you. Then swing again, There’ just noth ing in between, and ic docsn' seem to matter what you'te up against, the fights all have the same quality to them, Oh well, I guess not every shooter can be fun aftr all If you are a KISS fan, you might also be disappointed, as there really isnt that much KISS-related stuff in the game (of course, if you loathe KISS, don't ler that be your reason for not picking it up). There is some nice artwork here, so the game isn't a writeoff; Ld just wait until it hits the discount rack before picking it up. play 39 News, Rumors and Industry Buzz HACK’’S ON TRACK! KODT Card Game to ship in November. ng an officially licensed card game based on Knights of the Dinner Table’ Pappropriately known as, Hack! As we go to press, we've been cold that Hack will be released in Ni Le as you read this.) Eden has a Card Gallery on their website feavuring several cards in living & SEND YOUR NEWS ot Nitnn pot ek dele sue bs i ITEMS FO te 59} i REE sore foc eal Goeteh Cl mere sao B: in KODT#46 we announced in GameVine that Eden Studios was produc rember (which means it just might be b ge) ] 58 rereew4 THAR BE DRAGONS | ~~) to) a IN THEM THAR HILLS! «And for a price you can rent one! oO FUN AND MAYHEM! kay, so your best gaming buddy is getting married next spring, It falls on you to throw a TE right. Working on On pay hell never forget. Buc what to-do? Buy afew kegs and arang fora stip KODT is like a big to ‘rash’ he party? Nauia..Thats been done. You frend deserves something ali freakin’ party! The fun never {demote crave — dont you think? stops around here Really! I's | Metso. Wyner aceon re ehing dng Itchy nag | Tike every day is a Saturday or; lie in California (or even Nevada) you can make it happen. Uh.for a pice hati Something. And we want {0 ss witha wight of ns The cv’ of hs apalicnt eatbCabe Zant, Te share that FUN! Got ideas for rapon has been Zanot' fine cetion anit has ken neatly 20 things like cartoons, articles on {him olf, Claude the dragon has been on exhibit many mes and has won awards, trophies gaming, adventures, industry. § and ibbons ofall sores i news, reviews, etc.? And we i Claude at any time. For any ocasion!! Traveling is pee mile, plus just raised our rates - among won which pre of the sate your event is being held. He doesn’ charge | the highest in the industry, mileage for che fic ity mils fom Maryvile, Clforia. And he's wilingto ral sar ax Hoody Hoot Well quis playing, ese Nemitor ir Vopm se oe dp late § Sectdics E | And incase youre curious, hee are Claud’ stats, Weight of 6,130 Pounds! Wing Span of wich he cease am ye Ei of 12 Rea apt he Marr inno apail for our guidelines: tor: For more information you can contact Mr, Zanotto at KenzerCo@aol.com. i seonfindex hun [News item submitted by William James Culfe for him to bring £ hep /wwwangelfite,com/id/area 40. Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ plucked from the vine for your reading enjoyment OH YEAH? WELL, I GOT YER HEAVY METAL RIGHT HERE, BUB!!!! the premiere episode of ButeBos being one of Comedy Cental highes red series pr ees ever, che cable network has ordered an aditional 13 epsdes ofthe show for premiere December. The new episodes will be sho during «competion hell in Las Vegas in ely November, In case you've mise ths et rare, Bato the merging spor of ve rabotie combat Inmagine faceoff beoven Hollywood's best special es artists and NASA's greats scientists pt them ina moder: boring ing and oe jst scathing he sure of wha Bates i al about. It may sound silly (oay, olay sil) but he acon canbe rely gripping, BattleBots contestants design and build radio contoled robots weighing upto 488 Ibs. chat employ an array of destructive weaponry such as hammers, sa Above: No it not prop fom some herorsech tex ofengnetng,sttey and creativity, andthe ois suv. Sue it voence bu with straight-to-vieo flick. This bartle scarred Bot is gyachine vs, machine you dont have to fel guilty about yelling "tear ‘sm wo pieces Shaft” at your TV ut one of many entrants the exe hetty ren, The next BatleBots event scheduled for Noverber 200 in Las Vegas, Nerd!) Pees ne epee Sore a ass OR E- FREE SWAG!! fetal te teen ahenywoereeey’ ~~ YOURS FOR THE ee area - DOWNLOADING Joe Silver is said to be developing a remake of the dassic 1973. | Michael Crichton film WestWorld, Richard D'Ovidio (Ace in the Hole) has been hited to write is script. + AFTER THE VISITATION {Glen Morgan and James Wong have signed to produce, write, and spikes. This is the ulimate con * Cons 65 AD? Dreamworks and and David Milch (VYPD Blue) ae develop ing an hour-long cop drama sr in ancient Rome, The sties wll | and direct Columbia Piers’ After the Visitation — sci-fi | (IRA thriller, based on an obscure Russian novell publihed in the 1970s which involves a man who leads a band of treasure ‘ {hunter into a mysterious area of U.N, controlled land where an “Y alien visitation once occurred * GLADIATOR MEETS AMERICAN Pre? FOX has bought a comedy pitch from Kristen Buckley and Brian Regan for an untiled Roman comedy described as uh, cr... Gladiator meets Ametican Pie? Buckley 8 Regan previ- ously wrote 102 Dalmations + INTERSTELLAR Pic! i ' ra te ideitacworial ee ae [ture Interstellar Pig, a Nicklelodian production based on a 2 a {William Sleator novel abou: a young boy playing a board game hat sort of madness is this? This deal is so good there of intergalactic proportions with a group of aliens i We= be a few pit traps or at least a poisoned needle = COUNTRY BEAR JAMBOREE TO BECOME A MOVIE trap’ involved somewhere. Did you know you can Disney has given the greelight to Country Beas, aliveaction | download dozens of AD&D" Ist and dnd edition modules aon the Disneyland attaction of the ame rane) {and supplements from the internet — for FREE? No, we're not advocating piracy, This is on the level. Wizards feature based on the Disneyland attraction of the same name. NO WAYS T LOVE of the Coast recently began posting ‘classic’ AD&D modules COUNTRY & and supp! ss in PDF format on their site a Beaeseoy THOSE CRAZY CRITTERS, and supplements in PDF format on their site at MAN THAT'S GLADIATOR MEETS AMERICAN | heep;//www.wizards..com/dnd/DaDDownloads classics. asp GONNA BLOW? IE? IS THAT & GOKEP needa wine wae fo Reece eee eae These free downloads include EVERYTHING including the original covers, maps and spot illos. How kewl is thar? You'll find ‘campaign settings aaa supplements such as Greyhawk, Forgotten Realms and Dark Sun too. New downloads are | posted frequently. The list is huge and it’s growing, Check it out — before they come to their senses! \ a CSA TS Knights of the Dinner Table™ magazine * November, 2000. —————_— 41 4 the subheading indicates, this is A sounding board where gamers can give their svo-cents’ worth ‘on whatever seems to rile them. So pull back the curtain and come on in the Back Room. You can leave that thin- skin as the door but be sure to bring ‘your opinions with you. 'm writing this in response to Scott Gastineau's letter on Munchkins in KODT 45. His point is that there is nothing wrong with being a Munchkin and that they are unfairly ridiculed and persecuted in gam- ing society, While I agree with the basic premise that there is nothing ‘inherenily* wrong with munchkinism, | think it’s more a matter of context. First, however, I think some terminology needs to be covered to make sure were discussing the same things. In my mind, a Munchkins primary (but not only) concern is the power of their character. They want their char- acter to be able to do great and amazing things (often but not always in combat) right off the bat, and only get better as time goes on. ‘They will run their character towards achieving this ideal. Ie is important to point out that this does not necessarily require nit- picking rules arguments (the hall- mark of the Rules-Lawyer) or back-stabbing other party mem- bers. They do tend, however to play min-maxxed characters and seck to acquire even more power for their characters. A Rules-Lauyer is a separate problem, Sometimes you will get a player who is both a Munchkin and a Rules-Lawyer, but not YOu’se GOT SUMPIN’ ON YER MIND, BOY? BESS! SAY IT AND JES’ GET ON WIO IT/ ‘An Opinion Arena and Open Forum W-W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO BORROW My "WEART. OF THE CLAN LORD"? IT MAGICALLY REPLACED MY OWN HEART WHEN I TOOK POSSESSION OF IT, THE ONLY WAY TO REMOVE IT WOULD 88 TO... UH... ER. always, A Rules-Lawyer, in my mind, loves to argue and be right. To this end, they will never let a rules-based argument drop until cither they're agreed with or irtefutably proven wrong (at which point they often claim the rules are bad). This is not the same as pointing out a potential miss-call on the part of the GM or another player. The big difference between a Rudes-Lauyer and. just someone who knows the rules is persistence. ‘A Rules-Lawyer has to be tight, even if it disrupts the game. ‘A bad GM is another separate issue. You can get a GM who is also a Munchkin (min-maxxing his NPCs; a problem if done specif- ically to unnecessarily overpower the players), a Rules-Lawyer (steadfastly adhering to the letter of the rules even to the detriment of the game), a Plot-Dictator (I have storyline in mind and we will follow it), adversarial (its me ‘against the players; unless you're playing Paranoia) or any of a number of other negative traits Now, to the point abour Munchcanism: Munchkins are a problem only if it becomes a source of disruption to the game. This generally happens when a Munchkin player or GM becomes part of a group that is NOTHIN’ PERSONAL, HOSS, THAT RELIC JUST HAPPENS TO BE ON MY WISH LIST. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE RUN YER MOUTH ABOUT HAVIN IT AND ALL, not interested in the Munchkin play-style. It is important to point out thar, while a player is not wrong in being a Munchkin, ic is their responsibility to find a group that is comfortable with this kind of play rather than forc~ ing their style of play upon the group. As to the question of, “can J think of any campaign that was ruined by Munchcanism2” Yes, 1 can. [can think of a number of Champions and a couple of D&D campaigns in which one or two Munchkin players ruined the atmosphere of an otherwise low-powered campaign. These were examples of where the Munchkin playing style did not mesh with that of the rest of the group. My biggest contention with Mr. Gastineau’s letter comes in the paragraph on ‘good GMing”. While I agree with the majority of your points, 1 do think one addition needs to be made: A good GM will not run a cam- paign they don't want to run. Basically what this means is that if the GM is uncomfortable with running a style of campaign, such as Munchkin, that is desired by the players, that GM should look for a different group and let someone else GM for the Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ Munchkin group. I realize that Mr. Gastineau may have considered this point blinding- ly obvious, but without this point the ‘good GMing” paragraph seems to place the responsibility for a good campaign only on the GM's shoul- ders, Basically, my point is that a GM should nor feel that they have to run any certain style of game. ‘They should only run what they're comfortable with running Aside from the above nit-picks, I think that Mr, Gastineauls letter brings up some very good points. T especially agree with his main point; that no one should deride someone else for enjoying a certain style of play. The trick is simply a matter of finding a like-minded group of peo- ple to play with, So, just because in someone else's campaign the players are regularly slaying gods, you should not consider it a bad cam- paign, It should only be considered a bad campaign if those involved are not having fun. Deric Page via E-mail d the following low pee’ emai KODT quote to porphyrics: ome “Man, I'm telling ya I dont like being the map-monkey The toxic fumes from the black marker makes ‘me goofy! Remember when I thought your ten-sider was a spider and tried to squash it? PEN-FUME. DUDE!” Dave Bozwell (KODT #6: Wherever You Go - There You Are) I received several replies noting that the smell of ‘magic markers” do tend to have this effect upon por s, Effects can include iness, headaches, confusion, gue, illness and skin rash. T myself have never experienced this, but am allergic to the smell of garlic; the most severe effect of a similar nature that I can report is the fact that common painkillers are ineffective in treating porphyria, and instead can cause almost psy- chotic hallucinations. Furthermore, although porphyria is a congenital disease, at least one form can be acquired; I have heard that some vampire-obsessed gamers, upon learning of this “vampire” dis- case, poison themselves in an attempt to contract it and become “real” vampires (the damned fools!) 1 recall that Dave was invited to join a vampire group, way back in the cay days of the strip; this raises the question, in my mind at least: does Dave have porphyria? A character development of this nature would also go some way towards explaining his “hack” obses- sion - he is nor really a bad gamer, he is venting his frustrations at a hostile, uncaring society that refuses to accept his illness. For more information on por- phyria, please check out the follow- ing links: hetp://tnq.nedicad.con/porphyria. hem bhetp://newa..Bhe.co_Uk/i/engleh/healt hhfnewsid_347000/347735.atm http: //wne, invisibiedisabiiities.com net //vw..B.a/porphyria ‘Thank you for your time. Scott Wylie Roberts Roleplaying Action Group Leader Vice-President, The Gamers Guild heep:!/playat/heguild a Got something to say? ‘Wanna get it off yer chest? Go ahead — Unload on ust E-mail yer Back Room Fodder to jolly@kenvzerco.com Ce ee Aep THAT'S RIGHT - NEXT MONTH THE FIFTIETH ISSUE OF KODT HITS THE STREETS AND WE'RE GOING 10 CELEBRATE// HOW? BY GIVING OUR FANS WHAT THEY WANT MOST -- A DOUBLE-ISSUE/! THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE CRANKIN’ UP THE HACK-FACTOR ON THIS BABY. DOUBLE THE USUAL OFFERING OF STRI/PS// &« IT’S TIME TO PAR-DAYI? 4 ‘Ssamortt cares manga nen Kp Oar mga yA 2, 12S an Tie U8. ca Pat reo ey on 8 Cogan 281 Cane Dv al atch i Fry Ban at? ‘Cart dln Ov ane apy ‘axe Dm Lt rsh Ovo cb hrc 8 "Baan. Arrgor Hope ree set Pina, Dona hare Ws. a Hom Re nos Sn ety cs eb, es So stn Cap bet eae ee Dev ane a eh cae ‘Nel Fras arch OX Ur Pon Bash heck Se Pa Fg, ese Mo The wage ia {pf haunt Kp etn Dreadmaul eral eee pa bac ge met pads O19 na Sab. Ce pron (390, Denbten ag ears as 148, Pd mano Eepnany ska env’ sage ea needy a 2 At ow fs ae tr i, 1790, Stat ‘tpmdon eta on fr 8 ect, Seta hepieou 1 ant 822 at m2, age ‘hs ae cave ery ar nck su ae ae el cry 12 ete ance Knights of the Dinner Table“ magazine * November, 2000 43 os wygepresr Dungeon Fodder, uh I mean, “gamers” wanted in Grand Rapids, MI to join current game. Call 656-9599 = aT GAMES WANTED! Se } Looking for a copy of 1 TITANS THE ARENA (cared game. Also looking for a used copy of ROBO RALLY. Please email JollyRB@aol.com TWO DESIGNS TO CHOOSE FROM!!! full eclsioly fom, Kenzer and Company Our mail order address is: Kenzer & Company Ny 25667 Hillview Courr, Mundelein, 1 60060 Style BHands #1 BlackHand Shirt. (black on grey) Size: XL Price: $19 KODT Shirt (black on grey) Size: XL Price: $19. SE Ce CR ees oc is Une et i ee OR A a g pce where readers may Fgh ech cat ater pinycrs of twenty-fie word. N Arlington Heigh Rie ee ene Looking for Tomb Raider or d X-File COG cards and Dragon Dice, Trade - Buy s| Contact: Todd Christopherson, hi PO Box 953 : Santaquin, Utah 84655 “| email: toddj35mm@juno.com d Company is forming Demo Teams sem ountry, fy iacerested in applying ease contact Todd at todd@kenzerco.com. PiesEamn free swag and other kewl stuf. Ri . I'm looks fling bard ganes issu ni Coan me BATTLESTAR GaLacrica, ‘mon, if you've got a = give it up! Ena odd@heneteocom wihou pee, 7 RRR CHICAGO GAMING CONCLAVE ts, Mlinois * November 24 thru 26 contact jestatorpor@earthlink.net For more info The fun doesn’t have to end here WWWIKBNZERGO, COM You'll find areas for KODT as well ALL our other product lines, tr] Sages’ Guild New & Used Games www. sagesguild.com On the web since 1996! along information, barter, wade and gosip. Readers are invited to place classified ads, announce Subscribers of KODT may place classified ads free of charge with a fimit of one ad per issue and a| ibs may placa at he ae of 5 per ord with imi of 25 words, Compas may ple 0) (2.75" x2" $80}, 1.5" x 1"- $40, i lo prof onanzains ering he aig communi bers Wipe them out. All od Toa ey Llano In the ultimate battle of good ver- Breen men Ricci cs Tm Sg battles CUE a ee ee ee Cee mee tg cards carefully. Allocate resources Oe ence PC COC sa een Re Lye ment and tactical positioning are COMP R Res ue Cunt! De Gm SL UC ee PR DENN Re Where is your opponent going to Lee Pease) Your strategy will help determine DRS ee BRIAN'S SMALL PRESS PICKS 46 GEAR KRIEG: Two Fisted Pulp SuperScience in a World at War! Dream Pod 9 * www.dp9.com G2 Sig leey warp nan a ate world where history has gone mad. Nazi wets have perfecred the next doomsday weapon — War Walkes Players take on the cole of field commanders guiding thei mined forces of tank, infantry and eels ess teenage eee acl ight ou World War Ts i ely ke su Just flippin’ through the book and looking at the aims amet poms walle [Sates gor Se da id une form and clinb on board one of these babi Patton would be lefe drooling if he could only see This is a complere game. Everything you need (including counters is included in the 126 page hard-bound book. If youre an old war-gamer like me, ic may even give you an exuse co pull out all those old WWII figs from the closet Brian's Rating: Brian's Rating: Come get some! CHEBACHE Pardee Games * Email: PardeeGames@lightlinkscom hat is Chebache? CHFokers, BAckgammon, CHEss, cis defined as: ” The new strategic board game combining elemens of checkers, backgammon and chess and bridging the gaps benveen them.” Wow, my first, thoughts were, “That's a bold state ment.” However, lets take a closer look ac this game. Like the classics, Chebache is designed for two players. My firs: impression was that Chebache was most like backgammon. ‘The board has 18 movement points ‘on it for each player, and co win the game a player must move his or her 12 pieces to the finish space. "Movement is controlled by rolling two dice in backgammon form. However, after playing a Few games, I realized that Chebache is much more than a simple spin-off of backgammon like I first thought. ‘Ac the end of your movement phase you are allowed to make use of a checkers- seyle jump move, | honestly overlooked «his very sttong move. When combined with stacking your pieces, i is possible to move up to four pieces a great distance along your path to victory with this jump move. Perhaps the best part of Chebache isthe chess elements of the game. Each player has 2 King piece. ‘The King is a double- size piece that counts as two pieces when trying to captute your opponent's pieces. Also the King can move forward or back- ward along your path. Other pieces can also do this from any ofthe tivot.(turn/pivee) spaces on the board. Also much like chess you must be careful with your King because ican be taken control of by your opponent and then used against you. The last major chess elementare the Chebache zones, Just like check and check-mate, you can ty to win the game by getting your ‘opponent's king trapped in Chebache. IF you enjoy chess or backgammon, then you should get plenty of game play out of Chebache, and it would be well worth adding to your game collection Brian's Rating: Highly Recommended (and then some) THE SECRET KILLERS Brome Man Camis, ex@bromzeman.com his i an independent comic writen by Dan Bram. { picked up the firs 4 issues at DragonCon and after reading through them I was impressed by the concept and the “story. The author describes the series a6 a css beeween the X-files and the adventures of Indiana Jones, ‘The main character, John Rah, and his associates travel the globe in an effort ro debunk myths and find the truth behind local legends, In effect, chey kil secrets, hence the tile of the book. Makes perfect sense once you read one isue but apparently H there has been some confusion that the book is about hitmen or something so with issue #5 they are renaming it “Ext from Shadow.” By any name this is still a pretty cool independent comic, What the protagonists often fi sha the local egends as oot vay base andthey loner have exaordnay explanations, Even so, john Rah’ mission is to expose them to the world ashe hunts for clues to his own secret past. Some people might be turned off abit by some of the art- work. Its not awful by any means and a true comics fan shoulda lec chat deter him one bir from enjoying the book overall. 1 really hope these guys stick with ir and find the sup- pikethar they deserve. im ii et Brians Rating: Check ic out and support independent comics publishes. a ssute #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ Star Crusade 2: Lost Worlds #240 Hawkwood Fiefs | Star Crusade Al Malik Fiefs #238 Lords FS Players Companion #229/Weird Places #227/ The Dark Between Pais the Stars #230/ Merchants of the Jumpweb #231 /Children of the Gods #232/ Sinners & Saints #233/ Sinful Stars: fiction #234/ #243 Legions of the Empire #237/ Byzantium Secundus #275 Coming Soon: ran War in the Heavens: Hegemony #244 [November] Play, Li Halan Fiefs #245 (Winter) Live action roleplaying re ARMADA Known Worlders painted miniatures Capitol Ships #502 Hawkwood & Decados Dreadnoughts #503 Letters Of Marque: oe) Starship Deckplans #501 Letters Of Marque 11: Troopship Deckplans #505 ing so ing Parties #508 Herptor & Brigandish Mages ) WHY SHR Wy & {/PARTING SHOT 23 1S BETTER THAN if]/ANII¢ Submitted by Tom Seeling * The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive. * Yoda could've used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water. icin Ug cess, 4 senanot, of Hoedond gnie wed Jet shapes | usb jis outrage bate + Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage. + When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge couldn't say, “Look at the size of that thing!” and ‘really’ ‘mean it, * Icwould be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun. + Tac is egalitarian by paraying poor people as sympathetic characets. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians te Admiral * Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral does NOT lose his ship. * We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader i the bad guy ‘cise he srangles people 6 blows up planess for a + Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? (ls rhis a scary premonition: Anikin DeCaprio?] * Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hurt. © There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars. © Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed “kings of the world?” * If Luke were hendcuffed to a pipe in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key. + Nothing has the same sting as “I'd rather kiss a Wookie.” + Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes. + Han Solo would've steered clear of thar stinkin’ iceberg! * We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, “Luke... am your father.”? * Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a minor character. * When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all rime by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of himself at the Oscars. * Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband, 4) pose nude for picrures, 4) premarital sis ‘OK i youre infistaved, 9) lt uotietedbles drown, * Scar Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect all life even if irs ugly and slithers, 4) rescue princess, 5) save planet QUOTE OF THE MONTH “L may have more time to game in te near fate Theres ramor going around that my company is going 10 do some major laying off before Thanksgiving.” Jes “Oh..im sorry tear that. Soyo ink youl be ec?” Eri: God, U hope so Tim stn'to play DOD 3E.” GIVE US YOUR BEST “SHOT” {got 2 parting shots of your own? send it to Kenzerco@ aol.com Issue #49: The Six Million Hit-Point Man™ CC aT te GESTS KODT No.#23 “Dice Follies!” $2.95 To purchase merchandise, send a check o money oder KODT No.#25. “Secrets of the HackFiles” $2.95 (made payete Kenzer and Company) 0 KODT No.#26 “The Mask of El Ravager’ $2.95 read KODT No.#27 “Hackburger Hil" $2.95 bal nick er alla KODT No.#28 ‘Hoody Freakin’ Hoo!!!” $2.95 25667 Hilview Court KODT No.#29 “Bad Mocn Risin” $2.95 _—_ Maier en KODT No.#31 “Don't Fear the Reaper’ $2.95 | KODT No.#32. “Tales from Hawg Wallers” $2.95 re | an ee) w KODT No.#33 “Wild Wild Hack” $2.95 KODT No.#34_ “Of Dice and Men?” $2.95 cox phone in your oder to 847.540.0028, fx it into 847.540.8065 ~ KODT No.#35 “Death Awaits” $2.95 oral kenzereo@aol.com, Include your Visa, MasterCard, American KODT No.#36. “HackMaster of Puppets’ $2.95 Express or Discover card number, card type and expiration date KODT No.#37 “15 Orcs ona Dead Dvart's Chest’ $2.95 Ae eRe KODT No.#38 ‘Hack Rogers” $2.95 KODT No.#39. “The Game Must Go On" $2.95 KODT No.#40_ "Hack in the Saddle Again” $2.95 KODT No.#41 "99 Gold Doubloons” $2.95 KODT No.#42 “A Hack in Time Slays Nine” $2.95, KODT No.#43 ‘Wasted Das and Wasted Krighs’ $2.95 i] KODT No.#44 “Because 'm the GM” $2.95 KODT No.#45 ‘Buddy, Can You Spare a Cure?” §2.95 KODT No.#46 “Hack and Roll Al Nit” $2.95 KODT No.#47 ‘Hooked on Psionics" $2.95 KODT No.#48 “Apocalypse Drow” $2.95 KODT-FAANS crossover special $2.95, KODT Tales From The Vault $9.95 KODT Tales From The Vault vol. 2 $9.95 ANOMNCHINTO AUG CA KODT Tales From The Vault vol. 3 $12.95 = KODT Bundle of Trouble vol, one $9.95 Mont Holy Grall™ Card Game KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. two $9.95 pee Sr KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. three $9.95, Starter Deck $9.95 KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. four $9.95 Booster Pack $2.50 KODT —_ Bundle of Trouble vol. five $9.95 Taunt You a Second Time Decks $9.95 KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. six $9.95 KODT Bundle of Trouble vol. seven $9.95 HackMasters™ Comic Book Series Issue #1 $2.95 Issue #2 $2.95' Issue #3 $2.95' Issue #4 $2.95' Fairy Meat $24.88 ‘luis an exclusive KeDT story KODT lllustrated™ Comic Book Series KoDT T-Shirts $19.95 Issue #1 $2.95 KoDT Miniatures $19.95 Issue #2 $2.95 KoDT Miniatures: Black Hands $19.95 Issue #3 $2.95 ‘The Travelers™ Comic Book Series Elemental (board game) $9.95 Issue #0 «$1.50 SPECIAL SALE! Issue #1 $2.25 Kingdoms of Kalamar (boxed set) $10.00 Issue v2 $228 (he Sonttoat he Sori Lads an ye le ie ad issue #9 $225 Hoya cepa oft att arabe (ce | ee Sourcebook of the Sovereign Lands $4.00 feu #6 S298 Mythos of the Divine and Worldly $4.00 inlades an excusve KoOT story Tragedy in the House of Brodein $4.00 ‘Avelon #1 The Sauls of Dom [tof] $205 Secret Temple of Adaiy $4.00 velo #2 The Srl of Dyom fo 5298 GameMaster’s Workshop: vol | $4.00 pre melt ce ptt ee Kalamar Quests: Unguarded Hoard $2.00 velon #5 The Way the yen $598 Kalamar Quests: The Hungry Undead $2.00 Aveton ss The Lagan | a3] —_ Kalamar Quests: Night of the Rotlord $2.00 Avolon #7 The Lagacy of Tran (2 of 8] $298 Kalamar Quests: The Scirocco's Kiss $2.00 Avon #8 The Lgacy of Twa 3.03 a4 Kalamar Quests: A Foe in Need $2.00 Avelon fio. The Legacy of Tia 3 of st Ses Kalamar Quests: Sometimes They Come Back $2.00 Avelon #11. The Hera Logond{} of) 5295 Kalamar Quests: In Too Deep $2.00 ee ens ODT story Kalamar Quests: The Temple of the Bronze Flame $2.00 9 KoDT story he enigmatic , alien Vau civilisation was old when mankind }was in its infancy have jient eo acne that will rend the heavens asunder, las the time come? elle Mee Ae Og cA NS Sea od

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