Putting or Putting?

Dean Martin quote “after three martini‟s don‟t drink and rive, don‟t even try to putt” So I have been bartending since 2BC (before cranberry) and in my day we did not have such a wide range of drinks nor an educated clientele to „hide behind‟… we had to rely on more traditional skills like conversation, humour and physical skills. We were not Mixologists, drinksmiths, cocktailians, intoxicologists, bar chefs or Spirit technicians. We didn‟t make lots of cocktails.. A Long Island was sophisticated drink. Drinks like Sazerac, Martinez and Pegus were as rare as a decent tip… But we had a lot of fun and so did our guests.


Internationally renowned Ambassadors for Brands and Bartending… University educated (so know-it-alls)


And don‟t take themselves too seriously…


Alas Gary Regan was also supposed to have been in this session but couldn‟t make it… so lets all say Fuck a few times and its like he is with us in spirit… And when asked for a quote he said “Sorry I couldn't make it, Angus. Remember to teach them the most important quest of the professional bartender: To get laid as often as possible.”


Jacob to explain… but its BLUE so that‟s funny!!


Guest based not drink based Every action of the MPB should be linked back to these three principles… ask yourself with every action which one this is hitting… Far too many bartenders have been bought up in the white heat crucible of Mixology and maybe have forgotten or never realised this…

If you are having fun and if the guest ‘gets it’ then that is better than a ‘great drink’!
“An inquiry about how the beverage is desired; a suggestion as to how it could be made; a pleasant observation. All of these are as likely to secure a guest as the finest drink one can set before them.” OH Byron 1886


The key to being a good host.. People are all roughly the same.. They are not just coming to your bar to get drunk or laid… Hit as many of these as you can and people will thin you are the best bartender in the world…


Mid 1990s – Age of Ingredients the use of fresh ingredients and fresh fruits in particular but also the rise in the range of products available such as decent vodka, aged rums, aged tequila, decent bourbon and decent liqueurs… Purees also started to make an appearance as well as fruits and herbs of all different varieties… the Age of the Mixologist and the Bar Chef 2000 - Age of Technique: the rise in new ingredient led to a re assessment of techniques and especially those techniques that our unfortunate brothers in the kitchen use with muddling coming to the fore but also rolling, throwing, foaming, gelling, caviaring making and the like. More stirred cocktails… the Age of the Molecular Mixologists and the Drinksmith 2004 – The Age of Scrutiny and Authenticity – it is no longer enough to make a simple martini but it must have a full historical provenance and use at least 1 recreation of a long lost product (bitters being a prime example). Cocktail lists now come from the old books with Crustas and Golden Fizzes and Rickeys and the like. Accepted histories and stories are being torn down and challenged but we all know exactly how old the Cocktail is to the Day (May 13th 1806 of course)… the Age of the Cocktailian…


Are we now taking it far more seriously than our forefather‟s did? The names we call ourselves The focus on larger cities only More bartenders making more drinks that only bartenders really appreciate The rise of the Cocktail Taliban…


My own invention… (I think) But self fulfilling…


From Beta/Rogue Cocktails… a man with a great set of ideas and fairly unpronounceable name… so lets just call him Maks.. Ex Cure here in NOLA 1. mustaches and arm garters do not make a bartender 2. a bar exists to serve customers, not cocktails 3. inspiration for new cocktails is not found in the produce aisle of whole foods. however, it may be found in the dusty bottles of your back bar 4. there is no right way to make a cocktail, but there are many wrong ways


•bartenders work behind bars •recipes are guidelines, not gospel •don't knock it 'til you've tried it •you will never serve a cocktail that makes everyone happy, so focus on making one person happy at a time •bartending is a profession and a craft, not a lifestyle •it's just a drink


Donn Beach of Beachcomber Fame and his trick with every tenth Dons Pearl Cocktail having a real pearl in it Plus he used to spray a hose on the roof when it was getting quieter to stop people leaving Trader Vic used to pretend he had his leg bitten off in a shark accident (in fact lost it to Polio) Jerry Thomas and his Blue Blazer shenanigans Mr Billingsley from the Stork Club in NYC and his communication with his Maitre D‟ buy sign language etc (eyebrow stroking meant get that person a good table, ear tugging meant a bad one etc etc)


Honey I‟m gay… Krupnik and Mount Gay Knickerdropper Glory – frangelico and lemon juice Anise and Nephew Glass: Coupette Method: Shake and strain Ice: Ice Garnish: smoking star anise 35ml Wray & Nephew 15ml Velvet Falernum 5ml Pernod Absinthe 2 chunks of pineapple 20ml lime 10ml simply syrup


Stan Vardna drink from his Paparazzi Bar… winner of the 2008 Tales Cocktail List of the Year… It stands for “Will You Buy Me A Drink If I Tell You” so when you tell people what it means they get all confused…


Writers have always been heavily influenced by drink so why not take some of it back? Douglas Adams stated that there are a number of environmental and weapons treaties and laws of physics which prevent the The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from being mixed on Earth. PGGB recipe "Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V Allow three cubes of Arcturan Megagin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost). Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it (in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia). Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink. Sprinkle Zamphour. Add an olive. Drink...but very carefully." Flaming Moe Recipes….
1 part Tequila 1 part Schnapps 1 part Creme de Menthe 1 tbsp Colonel Krusty Brand Non-Narkotic Cough Syrup For Kids


Incidentally, the soda mixer is not only highly paid if expert--in a few cases $55 a week--but he has a contact with the public that leads to better things. Two employed at Fifth avenue fountains recently were picked for jobs that paid around $10,000 a year each.
"Shoot one" and "Draw one" is one coke and one coffee..."Shoot one in the red!" means a cherry coke...An "echo" is a repeat order..."Eighty-six" means all out of it..."Eighty-one" is a glass of water..."Thirteen" means one of the big bosses is drifting around...A "red ball" is an orangeade..."Squeeze one" is a limeade..."Eighty-nine" means that a movie player of importance is in the store, and "Twisted, choke and make it cackle!" means a chocolate malted milk--with an egg in it.


A toast is defined as “ to call to an admired person (normally a woman) or object”. The habit of clinking glasses is said to have come from the need to make belllike sounds to ward off evil spirits when drinking in the 17th century: as one unnamed Englishman said “to drink at table… without drinking to the health of someone special, would be considered drinking on the sly, and as an act of incivility”. More toasts of course led to excessive drinking and in many places the practice was banned or outlawed. Louis XIV forbade the offering of toasts at his court and Massachusetts put into place a law banning the “abominable… and useless ceremony” of drinking to another‟s health. One of the major concerns with the Temperance Movement (founded 1517) was to abolish the custom of toasting which they saw leading to debauchery. But saying something better than just „cheers‟ is good.


Just one word… Tiki personifies fun in bartending and long may it revive!


Droodles are a kind of cartoon popularized in the U.S. by Roger Price's 1953 book Droodles. The trademarked name "Droodle" is a nonsense word suggesting both "doodle" and "riddle." Their general form is minimal: a square box containing a few abstract pictorial elements, and under that a caption (or several) giving a humorous "explanation" of the picture's subject.


This is the Ale of Two Cities which is served at Callooh Callay in Shoreditch. After the Penicillin it's probably my favourite cocktail of the 00s.

The drink uses liberal amounts of 42 Below Feijoa (naturally) and Punt e Mes, fresh lime juice, pressed apple juice, Angostura, malt syrup and nettle cordial. It's shaken very hard to look like an English ale and served in a half-pint. Funny but also a very, very, clever drink. I've been a few times and every time I see a guest trying the Ale for the first time a huge smile crosses their face as they decipher the joke.


Audrey Saunders gets down and Funky…


I have spoken with Richard Wynne (Callooh Callay owner) who informs me that you gave a seminar at one of the 42 Below Cocktail World Cup events in NZ - Richard won, and was inspired by your talk to produce a couple of things for the bar...... He designed and produced a Mad Hatters Tiki Punch, served in a gramaphone vessel - to share, served with jumbo straws, and occasionally on fire, pictures attached.


Purl in Marylebone serves a Smoky Old Fashioned made with rum. The drink is mixed an poured into a wax sealed bottle, just before sealing some wood smoke is piped in using what is best described as a bong. Then it's served in a bucket of dry ice.



Four Roses Yellow Label, Pear Nectar, Apricot Brandy & Bob's Cardamon Bitters, shaken and strained into paper bagged liquor bottle. Atomised with beer and served on a bed of newspaper.


Who the hell is Cecil Baker anyway… brad pitt's bum double in troy the name de niro checks in under at hotels my 9th grade pilates teacher the guy who invented viagra the name of the first male cartoon porn actor the first man to ride across the sahara on a unicycle the real name of sylvester stallone he official cocktail of the buckingham palace ladies gardening association


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