FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH Coursework portfolio Porta, Mateo AR512 0056 Assignment 2: Creative – Narrative - Descriptive

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DRAFT Poem Every time I remember all, my life gets through, That terrible moment where the line Between life and death was not that huge, Every time I met that moment to my mind, That now a days it’s so blind, Because of that terrible moment I had to pass. I remember where I was, I was there on the floor. Every time those images come to my mind I remember I was on that bus, when I heard an incredible bang, I turned around, and it took me seconds to see, The double-decker was not where it used to be. The only thing we have in mind, Is to safe our own lives, Stop killing innocent lives Please terrorist stop now. Despite the horrific nature of the attacks London did not panic, and the chaotic moment Had passed, But don’t forget that poor people, That poor people that have to die,

FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH Coursework portfolio Porta, Mateo AR512 0056 Because …. these terrorist attacks. Stop killing innocent lives Please terrorists stop now.

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I was motivated to write this poem as in memory of those poor people who die in the terrorist attacks at London the 7 July. Four suicide bombers struck in central London killing 52 people and injuring more than 770.The incident was the deadliest single act of terrorism in the United Kingdom and also the worst bombing in London since the Second World War. The first fact that moves me to write about it, was that now a days many countries of the world, such as the united states and Spain, have been attack… by this terrible terrorists and many others will be attack… if we don’t stop them. Also because many people had die just remember the terrorist attacks in the world trade centre to the twin towers. That 11 of September 2001, more than 3 thousand innocent people died. even though we shouldn’t forget that nowadays we are not safe anywhere. In addition the only thing that we get from this is hate and distrust between the human beings. Apart from that, I wrote the poem in the first person narrator because I wanted to feel, or try to place my position in those persons, how this moment was for them. Let me said that placing my self in that moment was very sad and I am very grateful that I have never been involved in any type of those horrific attacks. Secondly, I was surprised how people have in their minds this type of attacks, they are many times thinking and trying to predict when and where the next attack will be. If I stop one second and think about it, I must say that I am always interested in them not only because of the impact they cause in the society , but also because the deaths. Finally, I must say , that if we continue giving these criminals the possibility to attack…. more people will die everyday and we will never get to any agreement and neither solve anything. What other techniques have you used?? Rhyme? Rhythm?? See to punctuation, verbs some vocabulary mistakes. POEM Terror echoes of the past Every time I remember all, my life gets through, That terrible moment where the line Between life and death was not that huge, Every time I meet that moment to my mind, That nowadays it’s so blind, Because of that terrible moment I had to pass. I remember where I was, I was there on the floor. Every time those images come to my mind I remember I was on that bus, when I heard an incredible bang, I turned around, and it took me seconds to see,

FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH Coursework portfolio Porta, Mateo AR512 0056 The double-decker was not where it used to be. The only thought we have in mind, Is that terrible moment our lives passed, Stop killing innocent lives Please terrorists stop now. Despite the horrific nature of the attacks London did not panic, and the chaotic moment Had passed, But don’t forget those poor people, Those poor people that have to die, Because of this terrorist attack. Stop killing innocent lives Please terrorists stop now.

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I was motivated to write the poem “Terror echoes of the past” in memory of those poor people who died in the terrorist attacks in London the 7 July. Four suicide bombers struck in central London killing 52 people and injuring more than 770.The incident was the deadliest single act of terrorism in the United Kingdom and also the worst bombing in London since the Second World War. The first fact that moved me to write about it was that nowadays many countries of the world, such as the United Sates and Spain, have been attacked by sick terrible terrorists and many others will be attacked if we don’t stop them. Also because many people died, just remember the terrorist attacks in the World Trade Centre to the Twin Towers. That 11th September 2001, more than 3 thousand innocent people died. However, we shouldn’t forget that at present we cannot consider ourselves to be safe anywhere. In addition, the only outcome that we get from this is hate and distrust among the human beings. Apart from that, I wrote the poem in the first person narrator because I wanted to feel what this moment was for those victims. Placing my self in that moment was very sad and I am very grateful that I have never been involved in any type of those horrific attacks. Secondly, I was inspired by people general hysteria and how people have this type of attacks in their minds. Mainly the countries which are involved in Iraq’s war are all the time thinking and trying to predict when and where the next attack will be. If I stop one second and think about it, I must say that I am always concerned about the possibility of a new attack, not only because of the impact they cause in the society , but also because of the deaths. Regarding the techniques I have used in the poem, I made use of repetition with the phrase “please terrorist’s stop now” so as to emphasize my will to make the terrorist reflect on the impact they caused, and to make them stop doing it. I have used rhyme, as in “through/huge”, “line/mind/blind”, “see/be”, to contribute to the musicality and rhythm of the poem. I have also used apostrophe asking terrorists to stop with their attacks and this dialogue makes the poem more vivid and real.

FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH Coursework portfolio Porta, Mateo AR512 0056

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Finally, I must say that if these terrorist’s continue with their attacks, more people will die everyday and we will never get to any agreement and neither solve anything. Though childish, this poem is quite effective in transmitting the central idea of voicing a wish for terrorist attacks to stop. However, the candidate’s language and expression are confusing and disorganized. 16 out of 40. Assignment 3 Reading and Writing

POP STARS CERTANLY EARN THEIR MONEY
Although it is said that pop stars today enjoy a style of living which was once the prerogative only of the royalty, with nice rewards and not so nice rewards of course, I am totally against it. What are these rewards for? What values are they showing? What is the contribution they make to the society? Today, the rewards of pop stars are enormous. Do we think it is important to worship pop stars the way we do? Do we stand for those values? And how is the feedback? Pop stars make frivolous contributions, what they offer is wholly unnecessary. As a society, we do not need charity. What this society needs is people concerned with every one’s needs and willing to work not only for our own benefits, but for the good of others. For what is worthy the charity of a few ones, when there is so much people starving in the world who need another type of help? Not the economic one, the social help. We can’t save those people with charity. For what is worthy the charity of this pop stars when they come back home after doing charity work to live their outrageous life as if nothing had happened? Anyway, are they SO talented? Do they deserve our admiration? Why they were created? How good is their product? What are they selling? The real scene is that pop stars are images, just images artificially created. And that is what they are we selling, and as a society that is the same thing we are buying, an image that represents nothing. On the other hand, do this pop stars know something about music? Probably something…Not enough to record a CD or to win prizes, even some money with that knowledge…but they do, because they are earning money for selling an image. And what is the influence of Pop stars in our society? They are considered the ideals of all young people. Pop stars create fashions. Are we taking a look at pop stars? Are our ideals to be as skinny as them, to look as if we are going to a party all day long, to dress and change our way of dressing as fast as fashion moves, because the other way we are out? This influence is not good at all, if we try to follow their way of life closely, we will surely get sick of anorexia or bulimia. How many people may be already sick? They not only produce diseases, but also mass hysteria among young people. That is obviously harmful for this people. They can surely stay days waiting for their idol just to watch them smile, walking close to them, or may be, not even that. What is it that people get from them?

FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH Coursework portfolio Porta, Mateo AR512 0056

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What do we get from them as a society? What are our values and ideals in this society of pure image? What do they stand for? This passage portrays the candidate’s doubts about the value of pop stars, but the weak organization and grammar errors make it quite difficult to follow his line of thought. 4 out of 10 points. Assignment 1: Argumentative piece SMOKING: a deathly vice Tobacco is the most important component of the cigarettes, about 90% of the content of cigarettes is plant matter. The remaining 10% is a combination of chemicals and other additives. Nicotine is a powerful central nervous system stimulant found naturally in the tobacco leaf. It is classified as a drug. In higher doses, nicotine is extremely poisonous. In the last years, smoking has become very common in a high percentage of the people in the World. Not only adults, but also adolescents smoke, and, what is worse, they start at alarmingly early ages, (sometimes even when they are 12 or 13!!) many of those young people, smoke illegally every day. “Although most countries put age restrictions on its use, over a billion adults smoke tobacco legally every day, and supplying this demand is big business.” Smokers, not only endanger their health, but they also pollute the rest of society’s fresh air, “the pollution of other people's atmospheres with cigarette smoke also makes this an environmental issue”. From my point of view it is a total lack of respect, to pollute other people’s atmosphere, and smoke in public places where many non smokers are. Nowadays, there is a law that prohibits smokers to smoke in public places. This law, which I am completely in favour of, had been set in many countries, such as Spain, Italy, France, etc. and in Argentina too. In my opinion this law will be very successful, because those people who smoke will be more pleased and will smoke less than before this law was set. Smokers not only will have benefits to their health, but also non- smokers will have a better and cleaner atmosphere, and they will breath pure air, instead of that harmful smoke of nicotine. Smokers usually feel dizzy and sick when they first inhale the nicotine in tobacco, imagine people who never smoke, inhale the others smoke. To make matters worst, scientist’s say “while smoking has declined amongst some groups, it has increased amongst others - particularly young women.” In my opinion this is because girls in particularly are

FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH Coursework portfolio Porta, Mateo AR512 0056

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more influenced by the advertising of this type of products, and they feel in some way “more adults”, “mature” if they smoke. It is good for us to struggle for personal freedom, which is of course an important issue, but it is the tobacco companies who we should be fighting against. To conclude, tobacco may be a natural substance, but it is far from being harmless. When consumed in high quantities, (just as manufacturers want), tobacco kills. Even though quitting this terrible vice abruptly can produce unpleasant withdrawal symptoms such as depression, irritability, anxiety, and craving for nicotine, people must really try to make an effort to stop. This passage has very good arguments against smoking, though arranged in a disorganized way. Vocabulary is appropriate; however, the candidate should have acknowledged the sources of the quotes he included. 18 out of 40