Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

So here we go, bismillah. Inshallah in the upcoming weeks I will be sending you some
extremely important tips and techniques that will help you find your other half. These are
some of most valuable lessons and experiences that I have gained over the years while
working with Sh.Yaser Birjas and rest of the Practimate team, gaining insight to what
thousands of sisters have said they look for in a potential husband. I will also be
sharing some valuable rules of the game when it comes to dealing with a sister's
parents (especially her father), learning about the crucial art of communicating properly
and yes we will even talk about finances and much more.

I really hope you enjoy and benefit from this mini course and
series. I have a lot more info to share with you but I will take
little steps at a time. I promise if you can master whats coming
at you in the coming weeks it will take your marriage quest to
whole new level in sha Allah.

Oh just one more thing. I have a special bonus offer for those that will encourage their
3 single friends (brothers ofcourse) to sign up for this email course.

https://practimate.com/brothers

So without further delay expect our first e-mail in the series

tomorrow morning and May Allah Subhanaataala grant you success in this quest for
marriage.
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

Here is the First Biggest and most common Mistake:

1. Fear of Rejection

Many may have a potential spouse in mind, but are paralyzed in their position by fear of
rejection. So instead of focusing on solutions, they keep thinking of problems that they
have or being rejected, potential problems in oneself, in the
potential spouse, deficiency of personality and magnifying their insecurities to find
excuse for themselves not to find a spouse or not to continue with the journey.

So whats the big deal if you get rejected, people have gotten rejected
before and will keep getting rejected.

Life will never always give you what you want.

A key Mindset to have is to change what rejection means to you.

Rejection is just one more way you are carefully redirected to
find the person who is meant just for you! When you trust that Allah Subhan'ataala
knows what is best for you, you can walk away from rejection in
gratitude! Allah Subhan'ataala has shown you that this was not for you.

Also looking at rejection from another angle you will realize

that rejection is a way to move forward and improve. It helps you
self evaluate yourself and what you may have been doing wrong.
Like in all aspects of life rejection is a means to learn valuable lessons.
There is a saying that goes No blame or excuses only results or
Lessons. So if you push forward and not fear rejection and you
happen to get rejected you will gain two benefits:

a) You will never sit there and wonder what if I had actually
proposed what would have happened. Or worse you will see someone
else who wasn't afraid of rejection move forward and run right past
you and actually succeed. Now you wont be left behind and wondering the what if but
you will be moving on because wondering different what if scenarios sucks forever.

b) You will improve your game. You will learn valuable lessons
on everything from how to present yourself to impressive talking
points and so on. So a lot of times in life, its the rejections you
learn most from not the successes on the first tries.

And by getting over the fear of rejection and moving forward you
never know you might just have the sister say Yes to you on the
first attempt. You will never know unless you try. Remember you
fail 100% of the times you don't try!

Trust me its only nerve racking for the first little bit and then
that nervous and scared feeling goes away. Just like public
speaking, the hardest part is the lead up to the speech and the
first 30 seconds but once you get going it becomes easy.
Also the more you prepare and the more experience you go
Through, it becomes easier but in sh Allah you won't go through
that many.

I don't want to bombard you with all the mistakes at once. So go

ahead and soak this one in and in sha Allah in the next two e-mails we
will finish it this part.

Wasalamu alaikum

Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

Before we get on to the 2nd mistake, I just wanted to say

Jazakullahu khair if you have already started to refer people.

Masha Allah we have got so many referrals before even the 2nd e-mail in our course.

Here is the 2nd Biggest Mistake.The following is the advise given by Sh.Yaser Birjas
after interacting with so many singles on this issue.

" 2. Pre Marital Dating

Of course we are not talking over here about the concept of

boyfriends and girlfriends as being displayed on TV, on the media
and elsewhere in the world. But we are talking about, how Muslims
are trying to explore the idea of marriage on their own without the
supervision of a mahram by violating some of the rules of the
Shariah.

What we are talking about over here, is the kind of

innocent interaction Muslims, young men and women, do on campus, on
the internet and other venues. Even though they don't call this
pre-marital dating but it is the first step towards a not so halal
relationship.

It usually starts with something formal... and then....

Slowly and gradually it becomes casual and informal.

Rasool Allah (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam) says in the hadith:

"Whoever believes in Allah and the final day, let him not
be in seclusion with a woman without the presence of a
close male relative of hers".

The Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam) says in another Hadith that

" If a man and woman are alone without a mahram in the middle,
the Shaitan will definitely be the third".

And whenever there is the Shaitan there will always be lots of

temptations and I know you probably already know that!
The point over here, is that once the formality drops
down, people immediately become informal and they become very
casual and that's when the danger starts. What we are saying
over here, is that the moment the formality drops, and you start
feeling emotional towards someone, then, if you are not ready for
marriage, you need to shut that door completely or you start
engaging that mahram into that process.

This now leads us to the third mistake which is making your wrong
first move by starting your relationship with the opposite gender
via emails, text messaging, facebook, other means of communication,
without the involvement of any mahram in there. You are already
establishing your emotional attachments with them, before you being
ready to go and talk to their families. Brothers I want to tell you
one important thing as I know a lot guys that have done this and are
doing it is that when you engage in this process of communicating/in directly
briefing a sister via chat, facebook, through MSA or anything else
9 times out of 10 she will be the first one to get emotionally attached
and you won't even know it and now all guards are dropped and the door is wide open
to what it can lead to and you will find yourself in a big mess.

Let me me give you a couple of examples:

1) In a real life situation, a lady came and she said that she is
already communicating with a guy who is in a different country. And
now she has developed a kind of emotional attachment to him, and
she feels interested, and she feels in love with him and she would
like to get married to him. But the problem is that her father does
not know anything about it. Her mother knows and she seems to be
kind of afraid to talk to her father because she knows that her
father might not approve that. What makes things even worse, is
that she plans to take her family to a third country, for the
purpose of meeting this guy over there and then disclose this issue
to her father. How could this happen? How do they expect the father
to accept that kind of proposal? So whether or not you believe that
this sort of communication is Halal or Haram, you still need to
know that making the right first move is very important for you.

2) A brother and sister started communicating via msn chat. They

started communicating at first over something not so trivial or
alarming in nature but then the chats continued, and he would
sometimes instead of working (employment) would spend hours of his
employers time chatting with this sister and she instead of going
to school would skip class and go to the library to chat with him.
Then it lead to late night phone calls when her parents were asleep
and then it lead to her meeting up with him in various places to
meet and talk and the story goes on until they realize that he has
to approach her father for marriage. He does so but guess what, he
gets a rejection. Major lesson learned on that one huh! Anyways
now they are stuck emotions are extremely attached and what can
they do? Its a horrible situation to be in and unfortunately it
continues to happen. "

So our advice is to stay away from this type of interaction. 9 times

out of 10 it will produce failed results with broken hearts and
depression but 10 times out of 10 it will not earn the pleasure of
Allah Subhan'ataala.

In sha Allah in the next email I will reveal the remaining two mistakes in is list.

Wasalamu aliakum

Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

The last two mistakes are:

3. Looking for a candidate who is from Jannah

When you think of your future spouse, what is the most Important quality you will be
looking for?

For most Muslims, they always look for someone who is more religious than they
are. Why? Because they want them to help them get into Al-Jannah Inshallah, which is
something very normal and so beautiful.

But in reality, if everyone is looking for someone who is higher than they are in terms
of religion and spirituality, this individual will also be looking to someone who is higher
than you.

So if you are already looking for someone who is more religious than you are, at a
higher level of spirituality, what do you expect this person to be looking for?

They will definitely be looking for someone who is higher than they are. And that
person will look to someone who is higher, and higher, and higher. Eventually, they will
never meet anywhere.
 You have to compromise. And you have to be realistic with your choices. So if you
are looking for someone who is at that level of spirituality and religion, you need to be at
that same level as well.

Because you need to realize, are you attractive to the person you want to attract
yourself? Meaning, would you marry you?

That person are they gonna be attracted to you as much as you are attracted to
them?

Which leads to the next issue of brothers being so picky especially when it comes to
external features such as beauty, certain body shapes and so on.

I remember Sh.Yaser mentioned about a brother who rejected an absolutely beautiful

sister (looks and character) just because she was a little less than an inch taller than
him. SubhanaAllah!Or we have brothers that their standard of beauty is so high that the
only place you will find these women is in a place called Jannah.

Come on now! I'm not saying compromise on beauty but be realistic.

Remember that a lot of times her character will exemplify her beauty, it will make it
stronger and more attractive.

Also always remember that a sister that has the looks but no character nor religion
will turn ugly as your relationship of marriage continues.

So try to be balanced in your search and if you see a sister that you are attracted to
but she is not drop dead gorgeous and her religion is good, go for it and you won't be
disappointed in sh Allah.

4. Final mistake is failing to communicate with your parents about your marriage

This can come in two forms:

1) Not knowing how to communicate completely with your parents. You don't know
how to talk to them about marriage

2) Delegating everything to your parents because you don't even know how to
handle the subject of marriage.

Sh.Yaser had an interesting story to share on this. Read below:

" On one occasion, a young man came and complained that his parents are not
cooperating with him and they are not really listening to what he says about his
marriage.
 So he wanted to have some sort of endorsement to let him just go through, without
the approval of his parents.

So I asked him how he was communicating with his parents.

And what kind of talking that goes around with him and his parents.

Eventually I realized that he was unable to communicate the subject of marriage in

the proper way with his parents. I gave him a few tips and few techniques on how to
communicate with his mom, versus to communicate with his dad.

And after some time he gave me a call and says Alhamdulillah

it worked out very well. The point is, he was unable to communicate to his
parents the way his parents would understand the communication level.

He was trying to enforce his opinions on his parents without

making them feel comfortable, understanding what exactly he is trying to
aim to in his pursuit for marriage. When it comes to families, parents
come from different backgrounds and each background and culture has a
different ways to communicate. Some of them are conservatives, some are
moderate, and some of them are liberal.

We will go into complete details in an upcoming program but

here are a couple key tips:

a) Never try to enforce something on to your parents. Don't

bring a girl that you have already been communicating with for 2
years. Or generally speaking you know the girls your parents will
like and dislike.

b) Always try to keep an open relationship with them about

these matters. Sometimes its hard but try. Tell your mom to help you
find a suitable wife and be part of the process.

c) Know the trigger points of your mom and dad. Each of them
have different hot buttons and soft buttons. So learn and master
them."

So brothers, please try to keep your parents always involved. It will

save you time, effort and headaches in the end in sha Allah.

Wasalamu aliakum

Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

I hope you are enjoying the series so far. Just a reminder to

recommend 3 of your friends if you haven't already. Here is the link:
https://practimate.com/brothers We're going to add a surprise bonus at the end of this
series in sha Allah.

Regarding what sisters are looking for in a potential husband, Sh.Yaser shares his
experience below:

" After traveling to over 20 major cities in America, and teaching

thousands of singles in different workshops regarding marriage, one
of the most interesting things I have seen, is that I enter a
classroom where I have more than 300 students, and then you will
have more than 50 young women, and 50 young men and they are all
singles. And when you ask them why they are still single they say,
I can't find anybody there for me. Although marriage is supposed to
be so easy, finding someone who is suitable to you and you just get
married. But now you have the same room. And you have 50 single men
and 50 single women, and they all say that there is nobody there
for me. Now this is very interesting. In order to understand how
women think, and how these young ladies think when it comes to
marriage, I surveyed many of them in these workshops, and these are
some of the most interesting answers they gave in response to the
question why aren't you married yet until now? Or why are you still
single until now?

1. Parents
For girls, parents want them to finish their education first in
order to secure their marital life in the future. One of the
reasons they want this is so that their daughter will always have
something to fall back on in case something happens with her
marriage. Pay close attention to this issue and if you can
understand the way her parents think and use that to your advantage
you can pretty much get any parent to say yes to you or at least
strongly consider you. In sh Allah we will talk about this more in a
later e-mail and an upcoming course.

2. Immaturity
Many of these young sisters don't think that the brothers are
mature enough for marriage. Which means, they might not consider
you in a million years. Now this is a huge issue. Brothers need to
man up! Sisters don't like guys who sit there and waste their time
playing video games all day. I know plenty of brothers who waste
so much time in playing these types of games, or just goofing off
all the time that I don't blame sisters for this thought.
Get serious about life and your future. Don't waste the valuable
time you have right now, use it to get ahead of the rest right now.
Trust me small little moves you make right now will make a world
of difference when you are sitting across the couch from a potential
wifes father.

3. Priorities not sorted out

Many of these young sisters don't think that young men have all
their acts together. Which means, they believe, they don't have
their priorities figured out yet.

So we asked these sisters, that some of these guys Alhamdulillah,

have already sorted their things out in the proper way, and they
have their priorities figured out very well. So why aren't you
going for them? So they still said, they are not attracted to them."

Rest continued in the next email in sha Allah.

Jazakum Allah Khair

Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

Here are 3 concepts you should pay attention to and learn:

1. The Wussy Man!

That means that women naturally are not attracted to wussy men. If
a woman expects herself to become your second mom, she is not gonna
be attracted to you. And if she expects herself to live with her
girlfriend, then she is not gonna be attracted to you either. In
this society, men are forced to believe, that they have to be so
kind, so open in their emotions and so on, so they become too soft
with women, now obviously showing emotions is not all an all a bad
thing but being a wussy is what we are talking about here. Now
women might feel safe to be with a man like that, but not
necessarily attracted to them. In the west women tend to befriend
these types of men but never consider them for a relationship
especially marriage. So here are some characteristics sisters
find attractive:

a) He is respectful and is respected.

b) Is open and honest and is not afraid to state his opinion
c) Is a bonafide leader or has leadership qualities.
d) Is decisive or able to make his own decisions
e) Has his priorities in place
f) Is financially capable of taking care of a family
g) Is responsible

2. Young men of the past, versus young men of today

In your father's generation, young men of their time would be

responsible for families and ready to establish a family at a very
young age. That same age today, a young man is still expecting his
mom to do his laundry, and to be playing video games. So at this
point you are probably just fantasizing the idea of being married,
or having a wife, or establishing a family without being ready for
it or not knowing the true responsibility of establishing a family.
And regardless of what you do, you're gonna always be looked at as
immature in the eyes of her parents. Therefore, you need to step up
and start learning what does it mean and what does it take to be a
man and live by those standards. Ways you can do this is by
getting a decent job while in University or if you are out of
university find a decent job or further your studies. You can also
start being active in your community and take on leadership roles
or manage some events by the masjid or youth events.
All these advancements will help make your stock increase :). Well
in plain words it will make you look more responsible to your
parents and the opposite gender and her parents.

3. Men were created to be leaders, protectors or maintainers of women

Allah Subhan'ataala says in the Quran which means "Men are protectors or
maintainers of women" . And what does that mean? A woman wants to
be with a man who will protect her and maintain her, not just to be
with her. Men expect their wives to be obedient to them and they
want them to give them that role of Kiwama and they always quote
Hadith-e-nabi (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam), "If I would command anyone to prostrate to
anybody else besides Allah Subhan'ataala, it would be women to prostrate for their
husbands." Now what kind of a husband, what kind of a man, and what kind of a
woman would Allah Subhan'ataala even allow her to
prostrate to a man like that? Unless you assume that role of a
husband, that role of a man according to the Hadith-e-Nabi (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam)
and the Quran.

Naturally, women would like to be maintained, would

like to be protected, and would like to give the man the role of
Kiwama. But are you in that position of assuming that role of
Kiwama? What kind of a man are you to assume this role? So when you
go to her house, and you meet her parents, are you in that position
to maintain and protect their daughter? Can you do that for them?
If not then re-evaluate yourself and see where and how you can
become that.

In the next email in sha Allah I will provide information about three kinds of men and
how women are attracted to men beyond money.

Wasalamu aliakum

Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

So we are now in the 6th part of our series. In this session we

will focus on how women are attracted to men beyond money.

There are three kinds of men:

1. The Alpha Man

The Alpha man is a balanced man. He is gentleman in the truest

form. At the same time he is very decisive and very, very firm. He
has his priorities set and is responsible. This kind of balance you
find in the life of the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam). And all women
are
attracted to this kind of quality.

2. The Wussy Man

The second category is the wussy man. He is very dependent. He's

too soft, and is not assuming his true role as a man. Again, women
might feel safe being with this man, but not necessarily attracted
to him.

3. The Jerk man

The third category is the jerk man. And this is the person who
thinks he demands his authority. And so He becomes abusive and
rough. He doesn't earn it but he tries to demand it in an abusive
way.
In hadith-e-Nabi (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam) he said "If a man comes to you and you
are pleased with their religion and Ikhlaq or manners, then you
should marry him." So from this we learn that money is only 20% of
the game. 80% is something else. And that's character and ikhlaq
and mannerism. So what kind of man are you?

Now before you go on thinking money does not matter, it does. The
Alpha Man has it together when it comes to finances as well. Now
we are not talking about being wealthy but we are talking about
having a job or business that is producing an income that he is
taking care of himself and not relying on his parents to pay for
his needs. If a guy can take care of himself financially he will
figure out how to take care of his wife.

Now after reading these you might say ok I fall into the first two
categories. I have bits and pieces of both, what do I do? I say
the first thing you should work on is getting your priorities in
order. If you can get focused on that it will help you become more
responsible, more decisive and show a mature you.

Just a tip here: Please make sure your priorities are not all focused on
worldly matters and only about your self. You need to do some hard
thinking on how you can become an Alpha Man.

Wasalamu alaikum

Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate

The topic of intimacy is still a taboo in our communities eventhough we are

living in 21st century. Ever wondered what the Islamic instance is on birth control and what is
allowed and whats not.

SubhanaAllah, there are many hadith that relate wealth of information to us about this topic. But
there are very few structured educational programs that convey the knowledge about this topic
from both religious and practical perspective.

This program "Like a Garment" by Dr.Yasir Qadhi is one of the program that I would highly
recommend each and every one of you to take whether you are a single or a married person.

If you ask any married person who took this course, this is what they would say.

"I wish I had access to this kind of a program before I got married".
I took this program two years ago and thats exactly what i said after the course. Its never too late
even for married couples. Alhamdulilah, for programs like these.

This is what some of the previous members have said about the program:

" Wow, masha'Allah, this is a great course that really needs to be viewed by everyone. Love
all of this real talk."

" FINALLY! Someone offers such an overlooked topic in our Muslim Community in a halal
and Islamic way that makes learning comfortable for us sisters. Jazakallah khayr so much
for the calls and Q/A session. May Allah reward you immensely. Sh Yasir Qadhi is a great
teacher"

Please check out the program here.

If you enroll using the above link, you have a surprise gift from Practimate. in sha Allah.

Jazakum Allah Khair

Fouzia
Co-Founder of Practimate.com
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

Here we talk about why attraction is not something we choose, it

just happens. Sh.Yaser has explained it beautifully below regarding it:

"Ibn Hazm in the context of defining the meaning of love, and the
ruling on love, he said, "Love is neither disapproved by religion,
nor prohibited by law, because the hearts are in the hand of Allah
Subhan'ataala." And if they are in the hand of Allah, how will Allah Subhan'ataala hold
us accountable for something we cannot control?
Ibn Al Qayyum wrote in his book 'The garden of the lovers' , on the
subject of love that it doesn't happen by choice or by force. And in many,
many occasions, people fall in love from the first sight, which
means they get attracted to something they cannot control. So it
happens sometimes naturally.

Also many times attraction happens over time and its not always
about looks. I know many brothers who if you asked them today
after being married for some years what attracted them most about
their wives, you will get many different answers before they
mention looks. Now again we're not saying go marry someone you
are not attracted to and your attraction will develop over time but
what we are saying is that looks are important and play and
important role in your decision but you don't have to fall in love
at first sight, if you do great but don't let it blind you and if
you don't then its not an immediate negative sign.

So lets understand how you as a man get attracted to a woman.

Naturally men are visual spatial, which means they get attracted to
the physical image. And that is natural. This is not haram. And its
not bad. But we have to channel that in a proper way. Now what about the
female attraction? The myth of today is that most women are
attracted to men who have muscles. That doesn't mean to take this
as an excuse to be out of shape. But this is not the main
attraction for women.

The other thing is that we view women in this society to be independent, intimidating,
over-educated, and most men don't want to associate
themselves with this kind of women. But at the end of the day, even
these women that you read about to be so independent, they want to still feel soft,
vulnerable, being protected and maintained by a man who can really be a man.

Now it doesn't mean that you over-react to these feelings of women, and
start demanding this through power and through control. Because at
the end of the day all what they need is a man in their life, not a
control freak.

Take the example of Rasool Allah (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam). One day the Prophet
(Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam), he came with guests to his house, to the house of Ayesha
(Radi allahu 'anhu) and he asked if she had anything to offer the guests. She had
nothing ready, but she said that she would prepare something. And as she was
preparing that meal, the Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam) sent some servants to go
and look in the other households. One of the servants came back with a dish that came
from a different house. Now Ayesha (Radi allahu 'anhu), she felt so jealous.

How could the guests be in her house and fed food that came from a different
household, prepared by another wife? So, she came in as the servant was coming in
and she struck the arms of the servant, and she broke the dish and spilled the food all
over the place. Now in our time, if this would happen in your house, that would probably
be the end of the relationship between you and your wife. Specifically, disgracing you in
front of your own guests, but the Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam), he just came
there, and he requested another dish, and he starts putting the food into that dish
smiling to his guests and saying "what shall I do, she is very jealous." And then he
asked for another dish to be sent back to that household. As you can see from this
example, the Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam) handled the situation as a man. He
was calm, but in control at the same time. And that's what women are
attracted to."

A word of caution: Sometimes when a a man is hit by the Love at

first sight syndrome, he forgets all the other characteristics that
would make him happy in a suitable wife for marriage. So this love
blinds him from reality. So if you find yourself being awe struck
and in the love at first sight scenario you need to approach it
very carefully and not let your desires take over and do the
talking and thinking or else you could end up compromising on very
important features and characteristics.

Wasalamu alaikum
Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

Dealing with father-in-law and getting his approval is one of the key component in the
marriage process and it needs to be dealt with extra care as many times it might either
break or make the process. Read below where Sh.Yaser shares his own personal
story:

"When I went to get married, I asked my father-in-law this very

simple question. I said, "How do you feel right now after all these
years, after 20 years? Now you have this stranger, comes to you,
proposing to your daughter and taking her from you". His answer was,
"You will know my feelings ten years later." I didn't understand
the answer clearly back then until I had my own daughter. Now,
everyday I see my daughter in front of me. I see how smart she is,
how brilliant she is, how beautiful she is, how she is growing in
front of my eyes and I'm wondering at the time I will say who is
that man who is gonna be deserving to have this beautiful gem in
his house? And I'm sure every father-in-law will be thinking the
same way. So when you go and you propose to them, that is the first
initial thought that comes to their minds. You have to put yourself
in their shoes in order to be convinced why they are saying yes or
no or become a difficult negotiator.

You have to show promise/responsibility to a girls parent. They

have to see in you a desire to succeed in life and that their baby
girl will be in good hands and taken care of well. Remember for
all her life she has been protected and taken care of by her father
and when you come into the picture as a potential husband the
parents and even the girl want to see and know that you will be
able to take care of her and that their special gem will not have
anything to worry about."

In the next email I will share the five important keys which would influence the sister and
her parents in making the decision in sha Allah.

Until then...
Wasalamu alaikum
Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

Here are the five keys that will influence the sister and her parents in making the
decision favor to you in sha Allah:

1.Money
2.Your goals
3.Your personality
4.Your credibility
5.Your independence

Now let's repeat that again:

1.Money
2.Your goals
3.Your personality
4.Your credibility
5.Your independence

1. Money

The first thing. Money. That includes: steady income, spending

habits, understanding of wealth, understanding of rizq and tawakkul
in Allah Subhaana Taala and being ready to accept an extra hand to get
started.

This is a huge area of concern for us as the growing trend amongst

brothers these days is that they are broke! Or if they have a
decent job or income they don't know how to manage it properly and
their pockets are like black holes. So anything they make is spent
and there is no clue or idea on what it was spent on. In sh Allah we
will have a workshop or some articles on money in the coming weeks.
But until then spend some time and learn how to manage money or if
you don't have a job or steady income, you need to get one.

2. Goals

Your goals would include: your financial goals, educational goals

and religious and spiritual goals. This is basically how we
mentioned in getting your life priorities straight and focused.
Potential sisters and her parents want to know what you plan for
the future for your family. So your financial goals - do you have
or know how to save, do you have debts and if so how do you plan to get
out of it, career wise are in a dead end job or in something that
will not only move up in the financial scale but also in terms of
importance.

Education. How far are you gonna be going with your education and
how much would that affect the quality of your family life?

And religious goals. They want to know. How much are you prepared
and ready in order to bring a healthy family and healthy children,
in terms of their religion, ikhlaq, and character

3. Personality

Your personality. That includes: your physical ability. If your

physically prepared for that? Do you work out or not? Your
intellectual preparation. If you read or not? What kind of reading
do you do? Are you that type of person who likes to read and grow
up in knowledge? And so on.

Can you carry a decent intellectual conversation? Do you have a

sense of humour or are you always a serious minded person. There
are times to be serious and there are times to chill and laugh and
enjoy good company.

There is also emotional preparation. Are you ready to handle the

stress from marital life? Dealing with a person who is completely
different than you for the first time? Are you willing to
compromise some of your emotions, for the emotions of your spouse?
And lastly, your spiritual preparation. In order to get into this
relationship, you also need to prepare yourself spiritually. How
much you would like to have the help of your spouse in order to
grow in your religion and spiritually? And how much are you willing
to help your spouse to grow up in spirituality and religion.

We will continue the remaining two in the next e-mail in sha Allah..

I hope you are really benefitting from this email course so far. Please share the khair by
recommending your single friends to sign up for this email course as well. Here is the
link

Wasalamu alaikum
Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate
Assalamu alaikum Faisal,

Here are the last two keys:

4. Credibility

Your credibility. And that includes your social and communal

credibility. Which means if people will ask your relatives and ask
your family about you, and when they receive a positive answer it makes
them feel confident that you can really handle the affairs of a
family and a wife. Your credibility among your peers. I remember a
teacher telling me this saying "Tell me who your friends are and I
can tell you who you are." Which means show me five of your best
friends and I can tell who you are. So if now people would ask your
friends about you. Do you expect them to say yes to you, or no?
This also includes your religious credibility. How much are you
involved in the Muslim community? How often do you go to the
Masjid? Does the Imam know you? I remember when my wifes family
without my knowledge came to my city to inquire about me right
after I proposed. Obviously I didn't know they were doing this but
they came to the Imam of my masjid and asked about me and he told
them that if he had another daughter he would marry her to me. I'm
not saying this to brag or boast but i am mentioning it because it
left a huge impact on my to be father in law.

The people at the masjid, do they know you or not? Can they attest
for you. Parents would like to feel confident and comfortable that
the person who is proposing to their daughter is not only religious
enough to know his religious duties towards his wife and towards
his family but the people in the masjid and his community can vouch
and verify that he has good credibilty.

5. Independence

Your Independence. You need to show them that you are in need of
getting married but not necessarily that you are desperate to get
married. You need to show that your life goes on with or without
marriage and that your goals and life focus will not be hindered in
anyway. For some reason our nature is we love to have what we
cannot get. So if a family says no to you, you need to show some
sort of independence and confidence, that doesn't mean that you
have to just walk out and that's it, its over. You can still get
back again, but not showing any kind of unconfident or desperate
position. The independence that you need to show is that you really
depend on Allah Subhana-wa-Tallah on all things and all affairs.
Specifically they ask the subject of rizq, after taking all the
means and the measures to secure that rizq.

In sha Allah I will conclude this series in the next email and as promised I will also give
you access to the bonus ebook.

Wasalamu alaikum
Fouzia Usman
Co-Founder of Practimate