Cybersex or computer sex or net sex is a virtual sex encounter in which two

or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another
sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is a
form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having
actual sexual intercourse, by describing their actions and responding to
their chat partners in mostly written form designed to stimulate their own
sexual feelings and fantasies. It sometimes includes masturbation. The
quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants'
abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of
their partners. Imagination and suspension of disbelief are also critically
important. Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or
intimate relationships, e.g. among lovers who are geographically separated,
or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet
in virtual spaces or cyberspaces and may even remain anonymous to one
another. In some contexts cybersex is enhanced by the use of web cams to
transmit real-time video of the partners. Cybersex is sometimes colloquially
called "cybering". Channels used to initiate cybersex are not necessarily
exclusively devoted to that subject, and participants in any Internet chat
may suddenly receive a message with any possible variation of the text
"Wannacyber?"

Interesting statistics about cybersex

-Internet Porn Statistics showed there are about 4.2 million pornographic
websites constituting 12 % of the total websites. The pornographic pages
constitute 372 million hits and daily pornographic search engine requests
range to 68 million or 25 % of total search engine requests.
-Over 60% of cybersex addicts have not previously suffered from a history
of sexually addictive behavioruntil they discovered the Internet.
-Among many online addicts, cybersex is perceived as the ultimate safe sex
method to fulfill sexual urges without fear of disease such as AIDS or
herpes.
-89% of sexual solicitations were made in either chat rooms or Instant
Messages.
-Every second, $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography, 28,258 Internet
viewers are viewing pornography, 372 Internet users are typing adult search
terms into search engines, and every 39 minutes, a new pornographic video is
made in the United States (Internet Filter Review, 2006).

Cybersex is seen by some as a humorous, pointless, insignificant
and meaningless act that carries no real emotional weight or emotional
repercussions. Others believe that the sexual feeling exhibited by
participants in virtual intercourse is very real and can be just as
emotionally significant as feelings that occur during sexual intercourse. It
also can play an important role in long-distance relationships.

Cybersex is most commonly performed in Internet chat rooms (such as IRC,
talkers or web chats) and on instant messaging systems. It is also fairly
frequent in on-line role-playing games, such as MUDs and MMORPGs, though

Otherwise Known as the “Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012” Cybersex The willful engagement. cybering may occur as part of a larger plot . 9208. the primary point of cybersex is the realistic simulation of sexual activity. cybersex is rarely commercial.the characters involved may be lovers or spouses. Any person found guilty cybersex shall be punished with imprisonment of prision mayor. it is difficult to know just how widespread they are.000. Among"serious" Role players.and there is a paucity of statistical data on this subject. 10175. Some of the most popular parts of these websites are videotapes of men who have powerfully strong ejaculations. since for many. See also yiff. Cybersex involving a child shall be punished in accordance with the provision on child pornography of the Act. is very common. The increasing popularity of web cams has also resulted in an increase in couples using two-way video connections to "expose"themselves to their online chat partners. a good deal of cybersex takes place between strangers who have just met online.00). or a character could be raped to initiate a plotline.000. the term"TinySex". maintenance. Usually those watching are masturbating to the arousing images. particularly MUCKs.000. and unlike phone sex. when participants try to make the experience as close to real life as possible.with participants taking turns writing descriptive. or both. While these activities are common.this knowledge is not always desired or necessary. However. Cybersex is often ridiculed because the partners frequently have little verifiable knowledge whatsoever about each other. it can be considered a form of role playing that allows a couple to experience unusual sexual sensations and carry out sexual experiments they cannot try in reality. with the aid of a computer system. for favor or consideration.approval of this activity varies greatly from game to game. In TinyMUD variants. There are a number popular commercial websites that have taken advantage of this and allow people to openly masturbate on camera while others watch them. Such activities facilitated by web cams are often used for the purpose of enhancing masturbation or as an introduction to arranging a meeting for sex. control. sexually explicit passages. Rules and Regulations Implementing Republic Act No. enhancing the act by giving it a more visual aspect. Where the maintenance. much as the author of a novel often does not completely identify with his or her characters. In fact. a prosecution under the Act shall be without prejudice to any liability for .One approach to cybering is a simulation of "real" sex. but not exceeding One Million Pesos (P1. not even their partner or partners' gender. Alternatively. The act of exchanging sexually explicit email or SMS messages is also sometimes considered cybersex. Cybersex is sometimes called "mudsex" in MUDs.00). Couples can also perform on camera for the enjoyment of others. of any lascivious exhibition of sexual organs or sexual activity. directly or indirectly. or a fine of at least Two Hundred Thousand Pesos (P200.Cybersex differs from phone sex in that it offers a greater degree of anonymity and allows participants to meet partners more easily. abbreviated "TS". In situations like this. These websites often also contain videotapes that people have taken of themselves. as amended. control or operation. or operation of cybersex likewise constitutes an offense punishable under Republic Act No. the people typing often consider themselves separate entities from the"people" engaging in the sexual acts.

Also coming into play are issues related to living an integrated life in relationship to others in the community at large. make them what and who they are. extramarital sex. as a result our values degenerate since sexual reality is depicted as somewhat ordinary and sought-after to the layman’s eyes. which cybersex stimulates in people. the identities of the two people are set aside and. It prevents the person from seeing deeper the spirituality entailed in the body and in sex. Cybersex alters the essence of sexuality from being sacred to just for pleasure When a person becomes an object of cybersex. Cybersex no longer demands the evolution of relationship. sexual harassment. they may already feel the role they’re enacting as. pornography. sexual fantasy and sexual role playing. cybersex poses incredibly numerous moral issues emphasized mostly by religious groups and associations. This result in varying attitudes engaged in the activity and those not engaged in it. and virtual sex. which so often leads to deceit and dishonesty. Cybersex breaches human dignity There is no commitment heightened in cybersex. 9208. Just about any of the discussions involving sins against chastity come into play: masturbation. However. like masturbation. Cybersex demotes our sexual self Cybersex perpetually reduces one’s eroticism. In cybersex. The areas of concern definitely carry with them ethical weight. Cybersex deteriorate our values Sexual aberrations are raised. gentility. as amended. or special laws. spiritual activities. now more commonly known as cybersex. No. fetishes. voyeurism. Actions and attitudes. and the likes. Cybersex satiates only on one’s primal passions. proper nourishment. Cybersex numbs consciousness and conscience Sensitivity is disregarded. and sleep slip away as the person becomes so engrossed in the sexual encounter. exhibitionism. worse come to worst. and relationships with people around. promiscuity. Exercise. in due course it follows that sexuality becomes just an object in his point of view.  MORAL ISSUES We humans are such recreational creatures. consistent with Section 8 hereof. other areas of life are forgotten. giving no importance to respect and commitment or involvement. The person is given limitless freedom and not bound to any responsibility by any norms. and then may eventually lead to sexuality. adultery. Superficial acquaintances and false identities are often made. like time with family. and much more.violation of any provision of the Revised Penal Code.A. premarital sex. is prevalently observed in the whole world as a façade of our desire for love and physical connection. including R. An outcome that is on par with this is physical and emotional instability. Thus.  CONSEQUENCES . homosexuality.

Stress. co-workers. An online or cyber affair appeals to these types of people since it allows them sexual expressions and explorations without themselves being known. Offline sexual exploration and activity are often marked by risks and inconveniences. aside from the physical safety concerns. physical. One’s sexual exploration and activity in everyday life may be dulled by safety issues.Strained relationships with those close to you .Distance and isolation . Common consequences of sexual addiction include: . Cybersex renders irrelevant the question of unplanned pregnancy and abortion.Separation or divorce .An inability to find pleasure in healthy human interactions and activities . Cybersex provides opening to sexual needs and preferences considered taboo or culturally devalued. They can damage not only a person’s mental and emotional health. particularly the growing conflict between pro-life advocates and abortion rights activists. Sexually transmitted diseases. emotional.e. a female initiating sex or being forthright about her sexual needs and desires). There are emotional risks to sexual exploration and expression. . Consequences of sexual addiction can be mental.Financial and legal difficulties The consequences of sexual addiction are real and do happen. not only with the opposite sex but also with the same sex. anxiety. are far from uncommon concerns when one ventures into sexual exploration and expression. Women may fear the social sanctions that accompany acting in a manner counter to socialized gender roles (i. as well as those with quite mainstream sexual preferences and needs. but also the health of his or her relationships –with spouses.Diminished or lost trust in a relationship . but with each exposure. exhilarating activity at first. Cybersex activity allays fears relative to physical and health risks..Depression when not engaging in or being able to engage in cybersex activities . the person does not discuss his/her sexual needs and preferences with his/her partner. and guilt . and social in nature. Those who have marginalized sexual identities. friends. These elements are precisely what cybersex conveniently addresses. Cybersex impedes risks of unplanned pregnancy and/or abortion and incidence of rape. children. Many women have qualms in taking part in the singles scene or dating due to the high incidence of date and acquaintance rape. more is required in order to achieve the same level of satisfaction. experience fear of embarrassment and shame were they to expose their sexual needs. Cybersex may seem like a harmless. One-night-stands or simply a sequence of sexual relationships necessarily entails both physical and health risks. This is particularly true as regards one’s sexual preference or fantasies which are considered taboo or which are culturally devalued. Because of this threat. The overriding fear of rejection if one’s sexual desires or preferences are known deters the individual in sexual exploration or expression. and beyond. particularly HIV-AIDS.High levels of distraction that can interfere with productivity and social connections .

and even priests and spiritual directors. community members. Given the anonymity of the Web. can find willing virtual partners online at any time of the day or night. and nature of the online sexual experience. helpful guidelines: 1. Some examples are a home office. If patients need to continue using the computer online a home. In a narrowband width communication. Broadband width interaction is face to face. interests. Cybersex meets sexual needs. one can become what he or she likes. He or she can change sex. norms. but is also nonverbal through gestures expressed by varied mediums like the eyes. or managing finances. In my long hours of hearing confessions. tone. and regulations which are far removed from real life. Cybersex guarantees secrecy. etc. cybersex offers a private. a world with its own rules.Cybersex ensures anonymity. Those who are currently single or in a relationship in which their sexual needs are not being met as often as they desire and in the ways in which they desire. safe. I only had one case of virtual sex on the Internet between two long-distance lovers. profession. Thus. Moving it to family room or other public . using the Internet for travel. The anonymity of electronic transactions provides the user with a greater sense of perceived control over the content. Those engaged in cybersex usually never talk about it with friends. age. In cybersexual activity participants can use many pseudo names and create profiles that have nothing to with their real life for the sole purpose of creating appeal to other cyber users.  POTENTIAL ACTION Managing Cybersex Problems at Home In some instances. They claim that unlike real life sexual experiences a woman can quickly change partners if her cyber-lover isn't very good or a man can log off after his orgasm without any long goodbyes … For anyone who has ever been curious about a whole range of sexual behaviors. Isolation and the potential for getting away with illicit actions feed the addiction. Cybersexual interactions are limited to narrowband width while offline or real life interactions are broadband width. and clothing. as online users feel encouraged to engage in their adult fantasies validated by the acceptance of the cyberspace culture. co-workers. This space is the one that fuels sexual fantasies and facilitates easy connection and intimacy. The cases I have met have usually been related to pornographic viewing on the Internet. here are some simple. communication is not only in words and vocal intonation. many people can create a fantasy world. weight. Cybersex addicts who live with others should not keep their home computer in an isolated location. and anonymous way to explore those fantasies … Individuals are more likely to experiment sexually. Cybersex opens the door widely to sexual fantasies. maintaining home use of the computer online is necessary. sexual likes and dislikes. body language. family. Move the home computer. with no strings attached. helping kids with homework. there is allowance for ample space for projection.

Make a commitment not to go online when alone. Even if only the home has been used. By making a commitment to another person to stay out of problem online sites and calling them back when offline. 5. Such providers exclude sexual content sites. Although this software does not provide a screen for all problem sites. Let others gather information or data if that becomes necessary. When the latest e-mail joke or an employee’s baby picture is being passed around the office. It is essential when loading this software to give the access code to someone else (preferably someone else in cybersex recovery---not a spouse or partner). Online providers. unaware that in the workplace they are continuosly being monitored. every site and piece of mail accessed from an individual workstation has the potential to be observed by management through programs designed to follow him or her as they traverse the Internet. In a networked system. Most companies have now adapted a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior in the workplace. Managing Cybersex Problems in the Workplace Acting out by going to sexual content or relationship sites while at work creates a good possibility of being embarrassed. Go online for e-mail only. or losing a valued job. “Everyone is looking at something personal from their computer. By the time they formulate a recovery plan. There are several online Internet service providers (IPs) offering access only sites that their evaluation team has determined are appropriate for children and families. make it a habit to call a friend first. someone who wants to act out sexually cannot remove the blocking software. Blocking software designed to eliminate access to sexual content and other specific types of sites can be purchase and downloaded over the Internet or purchased in computer stores. If there is no reason to be searching online---don’t. make a written and verbal commitment to avoid any online searching activity. The cybersex addict may think. the office computer constitutes a significant risk for recovering cybersex addicts. Go online only when someone else is home. 4. company policies are often easily forgotten or minimized. it provides the cybersex addict to reflect before logging onto an inappropriate site. Utilize bookend online activity. with enough effort. If online work in the office is an necessity. 2. One of the keys to any successful recovery program is to use support. some cybersex addicts have already used the office computer to access online sexual content. 3. This software is a must have for cybersex addicts who intend to go back to using the computer online. the following steps may be helpful: . it will present an initial challenge to the addict and slow down their initial impulsivity problem. the software can be defeated. Purchase blocking software. what’s the big deal?” But sexual activity in the workplace is a big deal. or better. someone from a support group---this is book ending. accountability is created. Although. Many cybersex addicts try to avoid being observed by staying late to access sexual content. 6. When going online.area prevents secret keeping and can also help partners feel less suspicious and uncomfortable. without the access code. Utilize the accountability provided by having others around. written-up.

This continued over and over. 3. move the screen so that others can view what is being accessed or worked on. broken promise after broken promise. Find a safe person in the workplace to turn to help when needed. Call other recovering people to check in for support during the workday. this should be a fairly simple task. 7. After several months we got back together. A little time and distance goes a long way toward avoiding old behavior. TREATMENT CONCERNS OF PARTNERS AND SPOUSES Sex addiction effects not only the sex addict but also ripples through the entire family. unless having been caught. but 2 years similar photos kept appearing on his computer. had been married for 11 years. 5. Remove any files or history of past sexual activity from the computer. and embarrassment about having sexual problems accompany the early da ys of dealing partner’s sex addiction. until we ended up separating. get out of the workplace. It is unlikely that anyone goes to the boss to disclose the history of sexually acting out at work. Helen. 6. others can be recruited for support and help. Use the telephone. 2. a 45- year-old woman. 8. However. PARTNERS ARE ISOLATED Feelings of shame. Find a quite place to meditate or perform breathing exercises. 4. Family photos are reminders of the reasons to avoid sexual content at work. Avoid being alone in the office. Install blocking software on a work PC. only to find he had issued yet another false promise.self-blame. In a non networked system. Don’t say late to work work on projects and take on assignment involving Internet use. Move the position of the computer screen. Helen discovered over 3. Go online only during work hours. He finally disclosed that he’d been a sex addict since his early teens and had been compulsive consumer of Internet pornography for at least 6 years: I was horrified! I could not believe I had married this man! I’d thought I had married “the man of my dreams. spouses and partners also need healing and can benefit from a treatment and personal recovery program. Go for therapeutic walks.500 child pornography photos on her husband (Damon) computer claimed he knew about them. Display inspirational photos around the computer screen. Offering tools or worksheets to help clients change and monitor their behavior offers a manageable guide for editing our their mot problematic and potentially dangerous computer related concerns.” After attending counseling and promising that he would not use Internet porn again. Two years into her marriage. Take breaks when feeling tempted. If the office computer screen faces away from people walking by or entering your workstation. 1. he resumed it use. . Like the sex addicts.

The resulting isolation only worsens the situation. but I could not identify it. denial making excuses and covering up for sex addict is part of this stage. more painful discovery. promises made. buying sexual toys. At this stage. so that they would continue our friendship.” They believe the sex addicts’ denials. controlling access to the cell phone. but spouses are unlikely to seek help at this point as they are attempting to control the problem themselves. computer and so on having ultimatums. involve for many years in an abusive marriage describes why she finally left: His behaviors would have been public knowledge had I not shielded and protected him. “I knew something was wrong the first two years of our relationship. When sex addicts do seem interested in relational sex. I allowed him to choose my friends and to tape my phone calls by not confronting him about it. During Stage Two. he or she is unaware of the role of sexual acting out. The partner’s ignorance and denial come to an abrupt end. anger. and later. often seeing themselves as being at fault. and promises. suspicions may increase and detective work begins. They tend to ignore their own concerns and may blame themselves for sexual problems in the relationship. A 46-year-old woman. I ended friendships with people who got too close and knew too much. the classic sexual coaddictive behaviors peak---becoming a personal library of information for the addict on sex addiction and addiction recovery. the partner learns about the true nature of the sexual acting out activities. and (early in this stage) increasing the frequency and repertory of sexual activities with the addict in hopes of decreasing the addict’s desire to sexually act out. snooping or detective behaviors leading toward Stage Two. . I kept friends from knowing the truth about my marriage and husband. betrayal. Discovery of the addictive sexual activities usually evokes strong feelings of shock. STAGES OF PRERECOVERY Stage One: Ignorance and Denial Although the partner recognizes there is a problem in the relationship. pain. Stage Three: Problem-Solving Attempts The partner now begins to take action to resolve the problem. Much like the partner of an alcoholic will cover up for drinker. A partner in Stage Three believes that additional information will help them to manage the situation. Later in Stage One. Self-esteem is clearly suffering. confusion. Based on the experienced of many partners of cybersex addicts. perceived as sexual acting out. snooping. Many spouses describe cycles of discoveries. or even attempting weight loss or cosmetic surgery. hopelessness.These feelings often prevent the spouse from talking with others and appealing for help. fights. The partner may discover this by accident or as the result of deliberate investigation. asking for full disclosure after every episode. bargaining. explanations. I allowed him to explore three extramarital affairs. Stage Two: Shock: Discovery of the Sex Addiction At some point. and shame. partners may try to enhance their attractiveness through purchasing seductive clothing. we recognized three stages of prerecovery.