District 0490s Newsletter of Central New York, Area 47

Oneida, Sherrill, Verona, Hamilton, Clockville, Canastota, McConnellsville,

Sylvan Beach, Stockbridge, Morrisville, Peterboro

Background

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience,
strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help
others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our
own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or
institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any
causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
Volume 5, Issue 5 (reprinted with permission of The A.A. Grapevine, Inc.)
May 2014

The DCMs Corner INSIDE THIS ISSUE

The Wives of A.A. 2
The wife of a guy I work with had an down the drink and by little steps we begin to
aneurism burst and spent five weeks in the change. Maybe we stop being so sarcastic. Wives Role in Early A.A. 2
stroke and brain injury unit of an area hospi- Perhaps we start laughing and enjoying Chinese Whispers 3
tal. During much of that time she was some- humor. The kids see us showing up at their
where between unconsciousness and death. games and helping with homework. The boss I was Jay Walking When it Hit
3
Finally she made some progress and has been comments that we are coming to work on Me
moved to a rehab facility. She has to relearn time. Our paychecks are actually paying the On Prayer and Meditation 3
how to talk, walk, even how to tend to her bills. We become better partners to our
personal needs. I stopped by and talked with mates. Suggestion 3
my friend last week. We talked about the Something to Ponder 4
slow progress and long path of recovery his We frequently do not see the little changes
wife faced. He said in a matter of fact way and the huge impact they are making on Around the District 4
"Day by day there isn't much difference, people around us. We've started on the
but given where she has come from, she is a incredible journey of life in recovery. Like Just for Fun 4
miracle." my friend's wife we are relearning how to
live. Sometimes the work is painful, long, and
AA HOTLINES
I could not help but think about the parallel tedious and we don't think we are making any
with our disease and our recovery. We have a progress from day to day. Then someone Oneida 315-533-1227
disease that by its nature wants us to be shows up and says "You have changed. What
unconscious and out of touch with reality. has happened to you? You aren't the person Rome 315-210-6644
We wake up and start to improve and move you used to be. I don't know what you're Utica 315-732-6880
into various phases of our recovery. We put doing- but it is a miracle." .Dennis R.
Syracuse 315-463-5011

DISTRICT 0490 CENTRAL NEW YORK AREA 47 A.A. WORLD SERVICE

PO BOX 481
Oneida, NY 13421
Email: district0490@yahoo.com
Website: www.aadistrict0490.org
Next District Meeting: May 18th
Oneida Alano Club, 2:00pm
120 Madison St., Oneida NY
Send 7th Tradition Contributions to Treasurer or Group Grand Central Station
Change Forms to Registrar to: Box 459, NY 10163
PO Box 18063, Rochester, NY 14615Area 47 Website: www.aa.org
Website: www.aacny.org
Next Area 47 Meeting: May 11th Area 47 is hosting a Day of Sharing
in Liverpool, NY, May 17th.
Location: Liverpool, First United Methodist Church For information and flyer check out
For directions and details visit: www.aacny.org Area 47s website: www.aacny.org
Volume 5 Issue 5 Background Notes
THE WIVES OF AA
Much has been written about AAs founders Bill Wilson and
Dr. Bob Smith. Two people who are equally as important to
the success of AA are their wives, Lois Wilson and Anne
Smith. Throughout the lives of both Dr. Bob and Bill W.,
their spouses were a source of encouragement and inspira-
tion prior to the inception of AA,
in AAs early days and also into
AAs maturity. Prior to meeting
Dr. Bob, Bill W. struggled when
working with other alcoholics, he
had no success in helping others
to get sober with the Oxford Group tenets. Frustrated he
confided to Lois that he felt he was wasting his time. Lois
said, "No Bill, you arent wasting your time. For the first
time in our seventeen years of married life, you have gone
four months without a drink. This thing is working, and I
so love you sober. Please keep trying." After Bill W.s failed
business venture in Akron, Ohio, Henrietta Seiberling
introduced Bill to Dr. Bob. In Dr. Bobs Nightmare Bob
tells of his first meeting with Bill W. About this time a lady
called up my wife one Saturday afternoon, saying she wanted me to
THE WIVES ROLE IN EARLY A.A.
In Akron in the very early days, alcoholics had almost no
say. Their wives got them to the meetings, which were, in
turn, run by Oxford Groupers. The men chafed a bit, but
allowed it to go on. When the A.A.s did break away from
the O.G., their wives very likely had a lot to do with the
move, as we have seen. Then, especially as single men
and women alcoholics began coming into the program,
there was friction with the wives. This resulted in closed
meetings for alcoholics only, as well as open meetings at
which the nonalcoholic wives were not allowed to speak.
Later, the situation was to balance out, with the establish-
ment of such compromises as open discussion meetings,
in which wives and other nonmembers were invited to
participate. When they had this Al-Anon and Alateen, I
thought it was a wonderful idea, said Elgie. Al-Anon Family
Groups took its present form in 195 1, though family
groups composed of A.A. members relatives had
been developing over the preceding years. It soon became a
Page 2
come over that evening to meet a friend of hers who might help me.
It was the day before Mother's Day and I had come home plastered,
carrying a big potted plant which I set down on the table and forth-
with went upstairs and passed out. The next day she called again.
Wishing to be polite, though I felt very badly, I said entered her
house at exactly five o' clock and it was eleven fifteen when we left.
After Dr. Bob attended a medical convention and got drunk,
his story continues: I bought some more liquor on the way to the
depot. I had to wait some time for the train. I remember nothing
from then on until I woke up at a friend's house, in a town near
home. These good people notified my
wife, who sent my newly-made friend
over to get me. He came and got me
home and to bed, gave me a few drinks
that night, and one bottle of beer the
next morning. That was June 10,
1935, and that was my last drink. Lois Wilson developed the
12-step program of Al-Anon and both she and Anne Smith
gave of themselves, working tirelessly to help alcoholics and
their families. AA is forever grateful for these great ladies.
(Excerpts from Alcoholics Anonymous in italics) Steve D.
source of help for wives and others close to drinking
alcoholics, as well as to those sober in A.A. The special
needs of alcoholics teenage children were answered in 1957
by the formation of Alateen, a part of Al-Anon. Both use the
A.A. program with only slight adaptation, but are entirely
separate from A.A. I think now what a relief it would have
been if I could have gone in a program that would have kept
me occupied, Elgie said. Thats why I got involved. I
wanted to help. It wasnt that common. There were two or
three of us who did it. Dr. Bob said that when you come
into A.A. and your husband has been drinking, you are at
the point where you are as crazy as he is, said Elgie, and it
is going to take you a long time to look at things normally.
He also said that the man wont stay sober if the wife isnt
with him. And the families wont get back together unless
everybody works at it. That was the way he put it. Nothing
fancy. Just practical psychology.
Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, pgs 237-238
Volume 5 Issue 5 Background Notes Page 3

CHINESE WHISPERS I WAS Our behavior is as absurd

It seems the longer A.A. moves away from its inception in 1935 the more
corrupt A.A., becomes. We have the Big Book which we call our basic text
and a vast array of Conference Approved Literature to help us stay on the path
recovery, unity and service. Yet, I hear newcomers say, I dont need to read
the big book, I go to meetings. True, the main method our program that helps
spread the message of sobriety is our oral communication, either at a meeting
or a one on one with a sponsor or just a couple of oldtimers talking together.
This oral tradition must be backed up with the contents of the Big Book.
While we should be sharing our experience, strength and hope, in a general
way, I have to wonder what message is really being shared. What message is
really being expressed to the newcomer, visitor, or anyone sitting at a meeting?
No one person is to blame or fault, but over time, our message is being
skewed, twisted, and warped.
The Oxford Dictionary defines telephone (second definition) as, a game in
which a sentence or phrase becomes distorted by being passed along to the next
person in a whisper. Also called Chinese Whispers. Im sure most of us have
played this game once and you may recall how different the ending phrase or
story was from the original phrase or story. I believe A.A. has become victim
of this game.
For the past few years now, Ive heard more misguided sharing from meetings
and Im referring to members with mid and long term sobriety and now
relatively new members. I heard someone recently say, Society is now taking
care of our newcomers with professional rehabs, detox, and the judicial
system so we dont have to do the 12th step anymore. Did I hear that right?
Another gentleman of 25 years plus sobriety made a statement I dont even
know what the program is. Ive also heard the phrase suggested program of
recovery used to the extent where members now say just use what works for
you, go and cheery pick the steps, traditions, and concepts like a menu at a
restaurant, as long as you dont drink, thats all that counts. NO, thats not all
that counts. The Big Book states, To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW
WE HAVE RECOVERED is the main purpose of this book. and, Well, that's
exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power
greater than yourself which will solve your problem. When was the last time
you heard someone quote the Big Book as a source of their sobriety?
Without reliance on the Big Book and only using Chinese Whispers we are
bound to continue distorting the message our Big Book has to offer. Forgive me
if you feel offended. That is not my intent, but when I see and hear these
attitudes I feel it is my responsibility to bring it to light and pray we dont lose
what so freely given. ~Anonymous~
JAYWALKING and incomprehensible with
WHEN IT respect to the first drink as
HIT ME.
that of an individual with a
passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill
out of skipping in front of fast-moving
vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in
spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point
you would label him as a foolish him and he is
slightly injured several times in succession.
You would expect him, if he were normal, to
cut it out. Presently he is hit again and this
time has a fractured skull. Within a week
after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley
car breaks his arm. He tells you he has
decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a
few weeks he breaks both legs. On through
the years this conduct continues, accompa-
nied by his continual promises to be careful or
to keep off the streets altogether. Finally, he
can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce
and he is held up to ridicule. He tries every
know n means to get the jaywalking idea out
of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum,
hoping to mend his ways. But the day he
comes out he races in front of a fire engine,
which breaks his back. Such a man would
be crazy, wouldn't he? You may think our
illustration is too ridiculous. But is it? We,
who have been through the wringer, have to
admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-
walking, the illustration would fit exactly.
Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 37-38
ON PRAYER AND MEDITATION
It works, if we have the proper attitude and
work at it. It would be easy to be vague about
this matter. Yet, we believe we can make
some definite and valuable suggestions.
Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 86

SUGGESTION
In AAs beloved Big Book, page 86 states; On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider
our plans for the day. Before we begin we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from
self-pity, dishonest or self seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental facilities with assurance, for
after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of
wrong motives. Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 86
ANONYMOUS SUGGESTION
For us to get to this Higher Plane of Spiritual Consciousness, we dont wait in the morning and have coffee first, or shower, or get the
kids off to school, etc. For us, its On awakening that we ask our HPs for this much needed and advised help. Its a quick prayer, or
a call to another member and takes no time at all. ~Anonymous~
Volume 5 Issue 5 Background Notes Page 4

SOMETHING TO PONDER
What Other People Think of Me Is None of My Business. I hear this in plenty of meetings, repeated by lots of well-meaning
members. Im not sure where this idea comes from. A quick Google search suggests that the quote has been attributed to Michael J.
Fox, to Eleanor Roosevelt, and to Dr. Wayne Dyer. Our anniversary coins say: TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE. We talk in meetings
about the danger and futility of people-pleasing. So, what does the Big Book have to say about this idea?
Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.
Page 20
...and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, Yes, I am one
of them too; I must have this thing. Page 29
If you have decided that you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain
steps. Page 58
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. Page 84
If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered. Page 90
From these readings, its clear to me that I have much to give as a member of AA. My sober example may be the only copy of the Big
Book the newcomer will ever see. And if the 11th Traditions idea of attraction rather than promotion is true, I want to be an
attractive picture of sobriety to the alcoholic who still suffers. ~Anonymous~

AROUND THE DISTRICT

Annual Founders Day
Spiritual Breakfast
Stockbridge Group When: Sunday morning, June 8th
Anniversary Chicken BBQ Times: Registration, Coffee, Fellowship: 9:00
Breakfast: 9:30
When: May 12th. Where: Hotel at Vernon Downs
Times: BBQ: 6:00p Tickets: $12.00 per person
Speaker Meeting: 7:30pm Contacts: GSRs/any meeting within the District
Where: Carlon Field, Munnsville, NY
Tickets: No charge for the BBQ, all that is For additional information visit the District
asked is to please bring a dish to pass. website: www.aadistrict0490.org
For additional information visit the Districts
website: www.aadistrict0490.org

JUST FOR FUN

Leroy, the local drunk, goes to a revival and listens to the

preacher. After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be
prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar. Leroy gets in
line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: 'Leroy, what do you want me to pray
about for you.' Leroy replies: 'Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.' The
preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's
head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.
After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, 'Leroy , how
is your hearing now?' Leroy says, 'I don't know, Reverend, it ain't til next Wednesday!

Share your experience, strength and hope. If you have an article of interest for the newsletter submit an email to backgroundnotes@yahoo.com