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A small parking lot was attached to the library, and five rusted cars sat parked between faded Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:54 PM
white lines. They quickly began to open up the hoods of each car, inspecting them carefully as Deleted: building
they looked for a replacement battery. Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:51 PM
Comment [1]: Who  are  “they”?  Describe  
“All of the batteries are missing. This is no coincidence,” Maron said. “We need to find whoever who  your  characters  are  and  what  they  look  
is doing this.” like.  Give  us  a  visualization.    
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:55 PM
“From the looks of it, this place has been cleaned out, too,” Kasside said as he peeked into the Deleted: each one

building, pressing his face against the glass with his hands shading his eyes. Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:53 PM
Comment [2]: I  would  consider  deleting  
“This  is  no  coincidence.”  Let  the  audience  
“We won't find what we're looking for … not here,” Maron said as he began walking back figure  that  out  for  themselves.    
toward the library with the empty gas can in hand. Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:54 PM
Deleted: and take back our belongings
They reentered the building and climbed the stairs that led back into their temporary Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:54 PM
quarters. Maron frantically analyzed the room for several moments after entering. Comment [3]: What  do  these  characters  
look  like?  Is  Maron  the  leader?  Where  are  
“They took our food. Check for what else might be missing,” Maron said. they?  Just  give  us  some  more  detail.    
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:55 PM
Kasside returned to the hallway in a hurry, “They cleared out the vending machine too,” he said. Deleted: library
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:55 PM
“We should have been more careful. It's a good thing you guys held on to your weapons, or they Comment [4]: What  does  the  library  look  
like  right  now?  What  time  of  day  is  it?  It  
might have been scrap metal,” Maron said. seems  like  we  are  in  some  sort  of  post  
apocalyptic  world  right  now.    
“What do we do now?” Syre asked. Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:56 PM
Comment [5]: Instead  of  this  I  might  talk  
“We need to set a trap. We need to give them something they want to get them to come back,” about  how  there  were  a  bunch  of  empty  
Maron suggested. baskets  or  empty  sacks  where  the  food  used  
to  be.  Have  one  of  the  characters  dump  the  
box  or  basket  that  used  to  be  filled  with  food  
“They probably won't come back while we're here, and we don't have anything worth taking upside  down  to  show  that  it’s  empty.    
anymore,” Kasside said. Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:56 PM
Deleted: Man, they
“I have an idea,” Maron said confidently. Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:56 PM
Deleted: sulked
A few hours later, the three stepped outside of the library and ventured to another nearby Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:57 PM
apartment building in search of goods. They entered the first apartment they found, and Maron Deleted: The things I took from my house
immediately entered a bathroom inside, carrying the empty gas can. are gone as well.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:57 PM
“I hope this works,” Syre said. Comment [6]: We  need  more  of  an  
introduction  for  this  character.  Who  is  this?  
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:14 PM
“It will. Have you guys found a black pen yet?” Maron asked impatiently.
Deleted: then
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:58 PM
“I did you one better,” Kasside said, holding up a black can of spray paint.
Comment [7]: What  happened  here?  What  
are  they  doing?  Describe  what’s  happening  to  
They exited the building after a few short minutes and headed back to the library, keeping the  reader.    
an eye out for the bright eyed creatures they had seen closer to the entrance. Maron was carrying Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:58 PM
Comment [8]: This  needs  to  be  introduced  
sooner.  What  are  the  creatures?  
the gas can which was full to the brim while Kasside carried a black box resembling a car
battery. They entered through the main doors and set the items down on the clerk counter.

“All right, let's try this,” Kasside said with a sigh.

Maron tossed down two papers from his book to the floor and they rose into the shape of human
bodies.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:00 PM
Comment [9]: Have  the  papers  come  to  
Kasside and the paper bodies exited in silence as he headed off once more around the side
life?  We  need  to  be  introduced  to  the  fact  that  
of the building and across the street. He spotted two boys and a girl hiding in nearby bushes, there  are  magical  powers  in  this  world  much  
watching them as they left the library unattended. The first boy had black, brown and blond hair, sooner.    
in equal sections falling down toward his face. He had dark blue eyes and dark skin, and a single
silver tooth on the top row of his teeth. The girl of the group had dark eyes and dark hair and a
spot of green on the left side of her head. Her eye makeup went over her top eyelids and down
her face toward her ears. The second boy had shaggy hair that was light brown with a single
golden streak. He had a round face and wore circular reading glasses. All three looked to be in
their early teens or younger, and their clothes were all tattered and dirt stained.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 10:16 PM
Comment [10]: All  of  this  was  really  
The strangers entered the library and approached the desk, spotting the gas can and the
excellent  description.    
car battery as soon as they walked in.

The boy with the glasses reached for the battery handle.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:00 PM
As he reached out, the car battery flattened completely on the desk, leaving only a pile of black Comment [11]: I  think  if  they  were  trying  
to  steal,  they  would  probably  try  to  be  quiet  
papers. He took a closer look with a bemused expression, unwilling to touch the pages. The about  it.    
papers lifted up in the air and quickly took hold of the boy, wrapping around him like a cocoon Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:00 PM
and pinning him against the wall behind him. Deleted: “Too easy!” the
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:00 PM
“Not quite what you were expecting?” Maron said, walking out from behind a bookcase on the Deleted: said, reaching
right side of the room while holding his hand in the air toward the cocooned boy.

The boy with the silver tooth clicked his tongue as a ball of fire formed and shot outward
toward Maron. A page from Maron's book quickly leapt out and met the fire coming toward him,
burning instantly and stopping the fire in its tracks. Maron panted heavily as a blue mark crawled
up the other side of his neck.

“We saw you leave and there is no entrance from the back,” the boy said.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:01 PM
Comment [12]: I  was  unsure  of  who  was  
“That's only what you think you saw,” Kasside said with a smirk, standing on the opposite side
talking  here.  
of the group as the front doors closed behind him.

Startled, the boy once again clicked his tongue and spewed flames from his mouth as
Kasside ducked his face behind the Mercyblade.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:01 PM
Comment [13]: What  is  this?  
“I'll call for help,” the girl with the green spot in her hair said as she ran past Kasside and
through the exit.
Syre was standing on the other side of the doors in her path, “Not gonna happen,” she said.

The girl threw a quick jab at Syre, but Syre disappeared and warped behind her, grabbing her
shirt and pulling her back inside.

The cocooned boy struggled to escape as Maron focused to keep him trapped.
Meanwhile, the silver-toothed boy once again clicked his tongue as he belched a blazing inferno
at Kasside. Kasside remained motionless as the flames consumed his body, disappearing into the
fire.

“You might need glasses,” Kasside said from the side as he struck the boy in his right cheek with
the Mercyblade, sending him soaring until crashing into a bookcase that knocked over several
more bookcases.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:02 PM
Syre struggled to warp around the room as her female opponent relentlessly threw blow Comment [14]: So  did  the  boy  miss  or  
does  Kasside  have  some  super  power?  
after blow, kicking and punching with impressive technique and speed. Syre threw the Severance
lace at the girl and it wrapped around her arm. The girl grabbed hold of the lace and ran up and
across a wall and on the ceiling, jumping down and pulling Syre to the ground.

“Not gonna happen” the girl mocked.

At the same time, the fire-breathing boy rose to his feet and saw Kasside walking toward
him. He clicked his tongue as Kasside stepped back in anticipation of the flames, but nothing
came out. A worried look came over the boy and he immediately dashed across the room to the
front counter and swiped the gas canister Maron had brought back with them. The boy guzzled
down a large amount of the contents and set the can back down. As he prepared to produce fire
once more, his eyes widened and he fell to his knees, spewing an immense amount of vomit onto
the floor.

The fighting ceased as everyone turned to the boy gagging.

“Raxa?” the girl with the excessive eye makeup said toward the boy.

“Sick!” Kasside said.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:03 PM
Comment [15]: This  dialogue  that  I  deleted  
“That wasn't gas!” Raxa said, wiping his chin with his forearm, “What the fuck was in there?” he
didn’t  really  seem  to  fit  here.    
asked with disgust, his voice shaking.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:03 PM
Deleted: “What is with you people puking
“Toilet water. From the looks of it, a few decades old,” Kasside said, wiping off his sleeve. on my jacket?” he moaned.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:03 PM
Maron released the boy with glasses from the entrapment against the wall, unable to Deleted:
sustain enough energy to keep him pinned. Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:03 PM
Deleted: in his shaking voice
“I'm getting the guys!” the boy shouted as he headed out of the exit as quickly as he could.
“Yallu, help me,” Raxa plead in agony to the girl.

“Yallu?” Syre said with a furrowed brow.

The girl ran to aid her fallen friend as he continued to spit up the foul and contaminated
water.

“Wait, Yallu, we know your brothers, Po and Bu,” Syre said as she approached.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:04 PM
“You know my brothers?” Yallu asked. Comment [16]: This  needs  to  be  explained  
better.  I  think  all  of  the  characters  should  
exchange  glances  after  he  says  his  name.  
“We saw them living on the street close to the academy. They gave us this little prism thing to Maybe  somehow  they  share  a  knowing  look.    
give to you,” Syre said, looking toward Maron.
Jamie Birdwell-Bra…, 9/11/2015 11:05 PM
Comment [17]: This  all  needs  to  be  
“We were helping them as they were being robbed. Very much like what you did to us,” Maron
explained  in  more  detail.  Who  are  the  
said while breathing heavily, stumbling over to the front desk for support. brothers?  We  need  more  back  story.    

“I'm just glad they're still alive,” Yallu said. “I'm sorry we stole from you, but we do what we
need to do to survive. They were here with me a few months ago, but they left because they were
unhappy. They told me to stay, that my friends needed me and they could protect themselves,”
she explained.
 
“The Pub With Nurse Mona”
Mona Clayton, RN, BSN
“Let No Obstacle Get in the Way of Your Success!!”

Hello Carson Courier Readers! Today is a great day to be great!
I have decided for this week’s column to be a continuation from the last edition. I
have met many nursing students and individuals from the Carson community that have a Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:03 PM
passion for starting a nursing career. Many believe that becoming a nurse is too difficult Deleted: e…from the last edition. I have
... met
[1]

or because of certain obstacles feel that their goal will never become a reality. Often,
trials and tribulations can make it difficult to succeed in our goals—that is a fact;
however my belief is that trials are what strengthen us. I also believe that sometimes
obstacles are not always a negative event but a test to help to build, challenge and prepare
us for the next level of success.
Many things come to mind when I reflect on my nursing journey with the start of
school and the struggles I went through to become successful. The first day of my nursing Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:04 PM
career began on January 19, 1993 with a major problem! My career was starting at the Deleted: —…he start of school,…and ...
the[2]

end of my marriage. You see, my divorce was finalized on the same day that I was to
begin the nursing program at Los Angeles Southwest College. That January day was the
most emotionally stressful and taxing day that I have ever experienced.
Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:07 PM
Comment [1]: If this isn’t true of course,
Spending 10 hours at a Los Angeles courthouse enduring litigation, mediation and feel free to delete, but I thought this would
finalization left me mentally and physically exhausted. I left the courthouse, though, emphasize your point even more.
determined to become a nurse. I knew that giving up was not an option. Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:08 PM
The nursing program started at 6 p.m. I had to be dressed in my nursing uniform, Comment [2]: I looked up the LA divorce
so I hurried across town and literally changed my clothes in the car. Then, I quietly court and couldn’t find anything specific. Do
you remember what place it was? I just thought
entered the classroom and sat in the first vacant chair. The instructor smiled and handed it would be better to be more general, since
me a syllabus. It was as if she knew what I had just been through. At that point, I knew you already mentioned you were getting a
it would be the beginning of an adventure. I also had the prescription for becoming a divorce in a previous paragraph.
successful nurse: persistence. Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:06 PM
Deleted: ten …0 hours at th…e ... [3]

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:08 PM
step.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said. Deleted: Divorce Court …nduring litigation,
... [4]

Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:09 PM
I hope that this issue has inspired you to take the next step and to keep pushing towards Deleted: :00
your goal for becoming a registered nurse. You won’t regret it. Keep believing and have Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:09 PM
Formatted: Left
faith!
Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:11 PM
Stay tuned for more with Nurse Mona! Comment [3]: You might want to just talk
to the publisher and see if you could tell them
what you want this quote to look like. I would
Nurse Mona maybe also write a sentence saying something
like, " I remembered my favorite quote in
times of trouble.
Until the next issue: Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:09 PM
Follow Nurse Mona on Twitter for nurse tidbits: @nursesroc2 Deleted: ... [5]

Like on Facebook: nursesroc2publishing Jamie Birdwell-Bran…, 8/21/2015 2:11 PM
Email: nursesroc6@gmail.com for comments or topics of interest Deleted: -…k…ep believing and - ... [6]

Visit the Web Site: www.nursemona.com