How to make a cookie

H: It was 1933, early on a gloomy Saturday morning. Ruth Wakefield was making chocolate
cookies in her bakery’s kitchen. Spoonful by spoonful, Ruth dexterously scooped out blobs of
chocolate dough onto a baking tin, then left the cookies on the counter as the oven heated up.
Ruth was licking the spoon when a large flightless bird ran past her kitchen window towards
the highway. She cursed in anger as she started sneezing uncontrollably. Ruth was allergic to
birds. “WHO LET THE BLOODY BIRD OUT AGAIN?” she exclaimed.
Ruth’s earth shattering ah-choos rocked the kitchen shelves. The crescendo-ing vibrations
caused the neighbourhood children to flee in terror, skipping ropes and red rubber balls were
left and abandoned, even the fat kitchen cat woke up from its morning snooze with an
irritated meow. “Not again,” it said before it stalked away grumpily. A bag of chocolate
pieces toppled over on its shelf, sending a stream of chocolate all over Ruth’s raw chocolate
When her sneezing subsided, Ruth peered around to check the damage. Too frustrated to
make a new batch, she put the cookies in the oven. Maybe the chocolate will melt into the
dough she thought.
They didn’t, and the chocolate chip cookie was born. Thank you Chickaboo.
S: Okay so maybe that story is a little embellished. But what we know for sure is that the
chocolate chip cookie was invented by Ruth Graves Wakefield in Massachusetts, America in
the 1930s. The popularity of this cookie skyrocketed and is still loved today by millions of
people around the world.
The recipe for chocolate chip cookies is well-known by many and has remained pretty much
the same for almost a decade. Flour, sugar, cocoa powder, eggs, vanilla, butter, chocolate
chips and a pinch of love. But today, the Scientific Association of Molecular Particle
Advanced Hyperactive Research Bhd. aka S.A.M.P.A.H Research Bhd., presents new
frontiers in cookie making. We recognise the power of the humble cookie and know it can
change the world. Today we’ll be presenting 3 different cookies that we have produced in our
lab using cutting edge technology and imagination.
H: But before that let’s begin with the classic chocolate chip cookie.
In terms of nutrients and emotional-satisfaction, this cookie scores high marks across the
board. A medium sized chocolate chip cookie has 4.5 g of fat, 0.9g of protein, 35mg of
potassium, 55mg of sodium and 11mg of cholesterol.
Chocolate releases a surge of dopamine in the brain, which makes you happy. A happy you
means the people around you are happy, and a happy society means world peace, which leads
to aliens establishing intergalactic diplomatic relations with us.
In short, the average chocolate chip cookie has the power to establish world peace and
summon aliens.

So what are Nootropics? The term nootropic comes from the Greek word. why stop at Nootropics when there’s a whole array of compounds out there for you to add to your cookie. when ingested. Nootropic Cookies or as we like to call them. Who knows. flour. improves memory-recall and increases motivation. when the Panadol cookie couldn’t purge you of your sins and the radioactive-time-travel cookie couldn’t change your fate. can make you travel through time. Now that’s a cookie. You’re now just one cookie away from getting all you homework done and 2 chapters of Islamic history memorised in 3 hours flat. But the great thing about Nootropics is that they do all these things without the side effects of Aderall or modafinil. but we do know this for sure. Nootropics are compounds ingested to improve cognitive potential. S.A.H. There’s nothing better than watching the world descend into an inferno while sipping Ribena in your nuclear shelter. Research Facility has incorporated radioactive nuclear compounds into a cookie. all you have to do is add a healthy amount of radioactive waste when you're making your cookies.P.A.P. Then.A.H. S: So here’s the big question. the long term side effects of Nootropics are still unknown. and well-being. you might gain some special new abilities or grow a foot out of your head.I. crystal meth and durian. It makes you more focused. chocolate chips. Ok so I know what you’re thinking. So far. how do you make something so good even better? Ladies and others.all you need is butter. we present to you. Of course.I). Drugs and caffeine. Well you’re right. weed.M. Hahah kidding durian doesn’t belong in cookies.B. mix it all together. shove it in the oven and voila! You've got yourself some chocolate chip cookies. we can't really say what will happen with absolute certainty. sugar and of course. A little warning: you might not return exactly the same as before. In a last ditch effort to solve all our problems by destroying them. On a side note though.A. Of course. we can only conclude that cookies can solve all your problems. H: Done something you regret? Wish you could go back in time and change some stuff? Fear not! SAMPAH presents the all-new. H: Ladies and others. S: When all else fails. Smart Cookies do make you smarter. these radioactive compounds will deteriorate rapidly causing it to destroy everything within the Earth’s atmosphere. In collaboration with the Central Intelligence Bureau of Artificial Intelligence (C. When bitten. radioactive chocolate chip cookies. Smart Cookies. S.M.Making this cookie is simple enough. I think we’ve tried Panadol. totally original and hopefully safe time-travel cookie. surely the only rational thing to do is blow up the Earth while eating a cookie. eggs. Sayonara homework. dexterity. May the Father of Understanding guide us. To make this cookie. As the name suggests. ‘Towards the Mind’. Research Bhd. Is working tirelessly in making these cookies a reality. .A. But anyway adding Nootropics to a cookie would really just make it the yummiest way to get smarter.