Introduction

:

We are within a storm facing a struggle over mental illness. I fail, I rise, I fall, I
stand tall. The patient is learning to cope with illness. The storm is surviving being
mentally disturbed. The patient is a victim of their own mind. The illness owns
them and only their pride can save them, heal them and deliver them from the
raft from sinking deeper until a hole they dug and cannot get out. The illness
imprisons their minds. They must struggle with the devil to find peace in their
hearts so they can live a healthy life again. The voice within is a disturbed voice of
confusion. The patient identifies with loss of memory. They struggle with the loss
of their past with living the present being reminded of their past convictions they
ask for help.

Characters:
The Patients: Paranoid Schizophrinics
The Voices: Disturbed voices they hear saying negative things about them that
lead them to mental illness.
The Delusions: Confused feelings of distorted thoughts that are not real.
The Therapist: Someone who tries to walk the patient through their illness
teaching them to cope with their reality.

The Voice Within cries,
Miss you, but your still here
your chair is empty
but memories are still there.
I placed a space in my heart
I have imprints of your smile,
the family stories told
but made us laugh
and got me through and through.
Good talks about history
that made me whole
I will never forget you

for what loves worth.
You are all I've got
losing you hurts
there is nothing in the world
I miss more - the good times,
Sneaking ice cream at night
with our ankles swollen tight.
We were both obese
with high risk of death
we struggled with the disease
but never gave up the fight.
I was the light that kept us strong
And you was the spirit that lives on.
Some day we will meet again,
until we meet again,
until we meet again...

Patient Delusions:
One and two tie my shoes
Why am I ashamed
I don't fit in
My head bowed down
Am I ashamed of having black skin
Three and four close the doors
Wonder why my back hurts
My bra is tight
My booties shakes
From left to right
Five and six pick up sticks
In the air, now both feet down
Wiggle your hips and clown about

Seven and eight close them pearly gates
Just lost my job and got mouths to feed
Baby's daddy in prison and I got needs
Nine and ten start all over again.
They took my baby from me
Because of the color of my skin
been hurting ever since
without a reason to live

Patient: The sound of rum, rum, rum
Ran against the chains
Running the wheels of the sidewalk
The tongue of the paddles floating into space
Facing life against the winds
The clamping sounds of metal spokes
Wheels rolling, rolling, rolling
The circumference of pie 360 degrees Fahrenheit
The seal of a motorcade-cycling securely
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
Running out of time
The teeth of the piano chanted
Its tunes by biting at the notes
Clamping to its gums
Opening wide its tonsils
Began to wine in the harmony of music
As beats pressed against the keys
Limited space pounding heart
Limited time pulsating out of breath

And then the climax
And the moment of silence

Therapist: The words lie within words
the lines contain measurements
the sound repeats sounds
Skipping beats across a blank page.
Dialog defines meaning
absent to reasons beyond imagination
the context is compound to reasons
often mistaken dialog.
The words, a figurative language
Worldly expressions
Options, opinions, views
from a diverse reality.
Alice: (swinging a knife at the ghost) Please go away.
Voices: (appearing and vanishing) You ought to be scared of me
Alice: (falling to her knees) Go away devil. You are not invited in my life. Go away.
Voices: (approaching her face and vanishing) Oooo, Oooo, I’m going to get you.
Alice :( breaking down in tears, remembering the voices in her head were saying)
you are stupid, you are not about nothing. You better quit. We wanted you to fail.
You do not belong here.
Voices: You’re asking for it. Who do you think you are? We’re your worst
nightmare.
Alice: (swaying the knife in her hand at air) Nooo, Nooo. I cannot listen to you
anymore.
Alice: (Covering her ears) this has gone on for too long. Stop it, please stop it.
Voices: No one would like you. NO one wants to be your friend. You better be
scared. You do not belong here.

Patient Voices: (talking to ghost into space)
I thought I'll never come to this
I thought I gave my heart to you
Not like this, we come to part
Too close, too far, the river is deep
I thought, as far inside, in the worst way
I'd drop in for at last, far passed, to see eye to eye
I yearned, I learned, to hear. my last cry
I yearned, I learned I swallowed my pride
A blank stare, a beam of light in the night
I held the gun close, pressed against my heart
Broken by your image, holding me for the last time
Our love was raw, straight up and kind
I listened, you cheated on me for the last time
The gun cocked, pointed, ready to die
To kill the poisonous lies you told
For the last time
Oh, baby this, oh baby that
Please baby, please. stuck in my mind
My mind is playing trick on me
When I gave you my heart
For death do we part
I cried my last cry,
I said my last good bye
You look me in the eye
And tell me we're through
And it does not me I'm played
One shut eye, open lips, twisted tongue
Was last hug the kiss of death
You were all I got, got nothing left to give
The touch of your hands
The curve of your lips

everyone was in on this. we see eye to eye No love don't love nobody no more A gun shot is in the air every night by her house. The voices were getting back at Alice and there was nothing Alice could do about it. This parody expels the mental illness of delusions and reality.Your soft spoken words Have come to this The tense grip of how you hold me near Is the grip of hate when I pulled the trigger My last moan. Things for Alice was beyond what is real and surreal. Alice conviction were the sins from her past that hunted her. With paranoia. Alice was afraid to leave the house in fear she might be killed. my last groan The kiss of death. She had no friend and no family. Alice had a nice quiet personality. Afraid. hopeless that there was nothing she could do to get rid of this paranoia afraid to be locked in the mental prison again. or a figment of her imagination no one believed any one would threaten Alice. The altercations in her sleep was that people were touching her. If she was shot. Alice heard voices from heaven that would remind of her of a past she never had. The ghost would appear at night screaming in the house as she heard footsteps waling on the floor as her heart rate increased. when she awoke there was no one in sight. her homework would change as if the students would know what she was thinking on her exam. Often things would appear not always as it seemed. The answers posted on the board were hers but her homework answers were wrong or diferent than the night before. In school. a crazy women and so the source of her problem stole 4 of her . or putting pillows over her face and would scratch her at night. People walking throwing rocks at Alice window. to find the truth because she was too weak to protect herself from the staged voices in her head. The scenes she experienced were allusions. The images felt real to her and she could not control them. The hallucinations and allusions of the threats of claws. they would say it was suicide. witches. my last sigh. She was afraid to look. Alice felt alone in the world. She was thought to be a lot. They kicked in the doors last week and threw a rock in her window. Alice was a paranoid schizophrenic. and creatures were out to get her made her scared.

Zyprexa and Seroquel medication. Her paranoia was controlled by Haldol. The voices in her head were from every race that threatened Alice that remains unseen. empty and alone My emotions. Voices: Broken. with nothing left in me I swallowed my pride I felt I had died. No one could diver believe Alice.children. No one can hear the voices but Alice. He left me dry. Everyone believed the source that was stalking her. he took away The love I needed to survive I stood homeless The cold winter night He walked out on me She was no better at love than me I was hot at her age Men would flock to get a piece of me He stole my goodies and left me dry Isn’t much I can do but fall down? Down on my knees I begged don't leave And he's not coming back . hidden with anger Inside my heart I hurt bad I hid on cloud 9. in the blistering heat Cold blooded. all girls. The source was too powerful illusions. If Alice were murdered they would say she committed suicide. Alice would hug her pillow tight in fear that the ghost would kill her someday. I stood on the curb Of Tara.

I stand alone.I surrender What do I do now? Pick up where he left of Love won’t be the same I gave him my heart I gave him my mind I swallowed my pride For the very last time The comfort and support Was the inner strength I needed to carry on There is no turning back He's gone. in the freezing cold Of December and damn I’m gone miss that nigger I rest shallow on the curb Got 47 A cold winter night In December Patient: I am worried about losing. Therapist: What do you have to lose? .

You must stop lying and face reality. Patient: (wringing her hands) the voices tell me things. The patient is sufering from dementia. You need to learn to get a fix on reality. Patient: I try to hold it in but loud outburst come when I scream. She has problems understanding the diference between reality and fantasy so her delusions are fixated on dreams. Therapist: You are not very successful and will never make it. You must learn to shut them out to focus on the important things in life like your accomplishments. You are nice. Therapist: You are kind. The voices told me that I was too dumb and ugly to exist. She is too uneducated to explain what she is facing so she makes of grandiose lies that no one can identify with because in real life no one goes through what the patient is going through. Patient: (Having disconnected thoughts) I was sitting on my face. Something was holding me back. Patient: That is an affirmation to the threats I hear in my mind. Tell me more. Therapist: You are watching too much television and reading too many is-fi books. Who would listen to you? You do not deserve this. Therapist: The voices in your mind are not real. Can you interpret my dreams doctor? Therapist: (Calling dispatch) I think I am on to you. I might get shot over this. Everything you say is not true. I have problems concentrating on reality. I am assigning you coping skills. I can no longer focus. I am afraid it is time. Patient: (calmly replies) what is real to you is not real to me. The dreams seem real. You are important. When I try I am reminded of what the voices say that I should quit. I need coping skills to make it through this. People including her therapist blocks points out that will heal the . I rose up and fell down more than once and got back up.Patient: I am losing my mind. I begin to think about my childhood. Therapist: (The therapist turns on her recorder) tell me about your delusions. You should have failed in school. The voices are getting to me.

Voices: You don’t belong here. The patient is afraid of the inevitable of dying because she has lost her since of reality. Patient delusions: I thought I was pregnant. My doctor gave me an ultra sound. quit. (chanting) Quit. I can not stop now. The negative voices often out weigh the postitive voices. Quit. quit. Go away demons in my head. she will be home. Patient: (staring into space) I have done as much as anyone.patient from her disease. quit… Patient: Its almost over. She is learning how to cope with her illness. Ive gone to far by faith to quit now. I have a lot of heart. quit. Too much to turn back. There is nothing you can do about it. What happened to my child. I have been here too long to give in. quit… Patient: (leaving the crowd) Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahh! (she fell into tears. We don’t want you here. I tried to hard to give up. . Voices: You are about nothing. I wanted my baby. It is when the demons take over in her head that they lose their since of reality and go crazy. Her reality is that she is crazy for existing and coping is her only means to survive. quti. I give a lot. It takes a strong person to say no to the voices. Voices: Changing) Quit. Your stupid. quit. The patients therapy works. dumb and ugly and will never amount to nothing Patient: (ignoring the voices) I am a strong women. You should have failed. Voices: You are not about nothing. crying) Nooooooooooo! Mental illness people reflect on the voices in their heads they hear that are negative. In another hour. They did not take it away from me. Go away. quit while your ahead. You ain’t shit. quit. You should give up. You are a failure. You are not welcome in my life. Is it still in there. Stop it. in peace and quit living a normal life again.

The man that was sincere enough to love me was who I fell in love with. quit. There never was a baby. Often under stress menally ill people begin to think things that are not .. Grant me peace and serenity to live life. This fight is not over… Voices: (chanting) quit. For when the man I once loved left me whole He took away a part of me. I wanted my child. He does not love you. There was no child. I fear I have no reason to live without raising my child. quit. You are nobody. to give up suicide thoughts. You hurt me.Voices: you are not about nothing. She is a victim of her own madness.. Voices: (flashing sheets around her moving into space) Quit. The voices begin to disappear. I break down every time I see children. Protect me from evil.. What is a woman to do? I am nothing without love. You meant nothing to him. He hurt me. Voices: Nobody wants to be your friend. We gave your child to someone you never met. The man who was afraid to admit he is the father was the coward I grew ashamed of deserted me. Patient delusions: (talking to the ghosts) So you took my child.. And you tell me I can not love my own child. quit…. You are too imature to raise your child. Patient Voices: (yelling out to the ghost) I am a part of him and he a part of me. quit. No child deserves you to be a mother. Patient: (Holding her arms to God) God give me strength to overcome the illness that surrounds me. Patient Delusions: (Sobbing to the ghost pleading) I hurt because the only man I loved and trusted with my heart never loved me or his child. you hardly knew. He loves another woman. quit. You are too stupid to be a mother. The child is what gave me reason to live. Voices: You did not deserve to be a mother. Patient delusions: (holding her head in her hands crying) You do not understand.

My writing as an undergraduate has been a learning experience where it was a work in progress. I am 47 years old and I am a female. I have worked amongst the best. Writing for me is a form of expressing ideas on cultural themes in the media that I write about through personal experience. I learned to express my own ideas more clearly than before. Under medication and therapy they begin to heal. Conclusion: I am employed as a gaming lab assistant in the Hospitality Department of 18 years experienc3e with the College of Southern Nevada. Being able to speak efectively and write proficiently at work is important.true. I was accepted to enroll in graduate school with the college of Education for the spring of 2016. My strengths in writing is being able to write about topics I feel strongly about. My speaking skills and communication will be my greatest asset at work in engaging in daily correspondence to my colleagues. I feel that I will benefit writing is a form of communication that builds knowledge. The more classes in writing poetry I took. With your program. In many ways of engaging life-long experiences in the class room as I will apply to my field of work. I will develop the skill to write better in my field. I am a self- published writer. Writing poetry is my passion. . I received my undergraduate degree from UNLV in Workforce Education in 2010. I feel that I have improved my writing skills from when I took my first English class. Prior to working in the casino lab at CSN. I found my voice writing poems. They can get caught up in the emotions of holding things in until they explode into bigger problems. Discovery of math computation and quantitative theoretical analysis will give me a better understanding to my field of work. I was employed as a lead cashier at Follett Book Store. With practice. My weaknesses in writing is conveying the message in a way the reader will identify with. I will become more motivated and task oriented at work.

My poems are Civil Rights poems that reflect a modern movement on the black culture in telling what it means to feelings and have emotional response to being black in America. how I feel. I am advocating the freedom to express myself. The ideas presented in the poem must be clear. I want to read more than once to see if the ideas I am trying to say using metaphors and symbolism is relative to the idea I am writing about. I feel that by having the right to freedom of speech. When I write I am conveying my life story in a genre . My poems reflect the feelings of everyone. to let everyone know there are people who feel just like you do no matter who you to put you at ease to find peace when you read my poems. I am able to express feelings and emotions through words that people wanted to say but could not put it into meaningful expression. middle and end. Pen allows me to have my voice heard to community of poets. I write about what it means. I am able to write a form of expression in words I cannot normally speak. I am learning disabled. I put myself in the mind of the topic I am writing about in the form of expression. That revision of the poem is important. I am able to think and reason when I write about love. The poem must have a beginning. . how I grew up and how I relate to the world. life and culture. The theme must be universal. I learned that I should not use clichés and to avoid using pronouns. I hope people can relate to what I write so that they can understand that everything will be alright. The best gift you can give yourself is to share your talents with others. you begin to invent your voice. I have a voice. I read my poems out loud to check for dramatic errors and to see if my poems make since. I discovered that when you discover yourself. I do not hate anyone. My poems are not protest against another race. When I write poetry. Poetry has given me a voice to write about themes and topics that have not been discussed. I am creating a since of awareness about what it means to be me and how I associate with the world. I create meaningful words into lines of a poem. I never write anything hateful. The topics I discuss in a line of a poem is something everyone can relate to.poetry.

When I write I ask me to ask myself is this really me. I am a poet. I wrote these poems to take you back to your very first time you fell in love. I am representing a reflection of me when I write and then my journey begins. I have found that the key to pursuing happiness. I hurt to walk out on something good With the thought of pain to lose the man I loved. I waited for your return But you never came . is to discover your voice within writing a poem.. I could feel love in the way you held my hand the way you squeezed my waist the way you held me close Your sweet caress. This collection of poems is written about a love relationship between a man and a women that did not work out and the girl still has feelings of love for the man she loved. Your gentle strokes.. life and the pursuit of happiness. I would like to present to you a few daily motion poems that I wrote about love. It was the way you made me laugh the way I opened up to you how comfortable I felt being next to you How happy you make me feel inside When I was alone you made me smile It was our last time together that You held me tight We cried as one in each other’s arms The warmth of your body pressed against mine The memory of your kiss against my forehead I cried.

Scars can heal with love The day I saw you break down and cry I felt sad you heart was broken I felt enraged about how much you hurt I felt ashamed that you were broken I felt the blame of uncertainty I felt anger swarmed with hungry guilt I felt humbled that you Were willing to share this emotion with me And with that. two years.One hour. knowing You loved someone else NO more secrets No more lies I mourn for the one I love. I found it hard that you walked out and I respected this. until I realized what our love meant Tears pour down with swollen eyes I will always love you. for eternity But lies don't hold under water. A single red rose is all it took you promised me you would never leave and I believed every word. I gave you my heart I shared my love And I showed you empathy. I say this from the heart I felt loved deep inside I never forgot how love felt .

Letting feeling inside the regret of losing you not wanting to let go Yearning to hold on Understanding I loved Waiting for your return. My heart ruptures at the sound of heart beats against the tides of time.I will never regret what love meant. I embrace each wave With caressing skin My thoughts ponder Softly with emotions Sounds invisible to light The stillness of the air Embraces my thighs Lovingly I feel warmth. I never forgot our first kiss how you held me close what love meant. You holding me close Our eyes meet at a distance Your lips pressed against mine. As your tongue moves inside my mouth I begin to taste your sweet breath . I accepted your love with interment trust.

My heart cries Tears dropping into the sea you stroke me with your hand I close my eyes afraid to touch how I changed into a woman Afraid this may be the last time only for one night I remember my first He was the temperament of my brass crescendo Rain down on me Let me feel the notes from tempo Keying in rhythm of cognate My heart pound beats of desire Let the notes escape the fire Into a metaphoric hold of dreams Tantric rhythm. droning sax Poetic verse calling back As eyes wide shut yearning desire I felt loved by the tunes That blow my mind with resonance I feel loved by his essence Moved by passion magnificent Tunes float into dreary space Drifting into extreme extract It was only one love And he was my only true love He was my first love The sound music Brought me back in time to the very first time I made love .

He was strong to hold back tears of resentment To hold his tears when love could not say To hold back his feelings inside When he needed the space to try He failed to recognize His weakness to love with desire And I did not break him from his peace of mind Instead I gave him the support And prayer that his dreams don't falter You hurt me with the things you say The words you say with honesty Like when you told me I was immature for you When I was afraid to admit I loved you But I did not know how to express my love for you I matured from within my heart As you mended the pain of hurt The pain of guilt The pain of fear Eighteen years have passed We reaped and sowed with regret I cherish the love we had You showed me how to feel And I know the diference Of what means It is more than the words we choose to say For real true love comes from within .

fantasies Drifting within space Silenced. I am Wanting.Empty Love What do you do with an empty heart? Would you die at this moment? Would you break down and cry out. I Longing to be held Longing to be touched Longing to be admired What would you do with an empty heart? To what extent would you go. to make him happy? Would you drop everything. lips. to be with the man you love? Ideas. tongue Silenced. desiring To be told I am loved To be cared for That he respects my needs That he encourages my dreams . needing. skin. to have him back in your life? Would you jump out a plane? Would you bend over backwards to win his love? Would you give him all your worldly possessions. for the one you love? Would you change your ways. to be with your only true love? Hands. dreams.

We break up to make up We take chances Words go spinning inside Of an empty heart and Closed a mind An empty heart Caressing voices cry inside my head I fear the pain of losing I regret the pain I pray for forgiveness Words spinning inside an empty heart and mind What would you do with an empty heart? Is love worth fighting for? Is love worth dying for? What do you do with an empty heart? All love burns inside Broken of Ideas Fantasies Dreams Love burns I thought I'll never come to this .Love hurts in many places in darkness and light. it has many phases.

holding me for the last time Our love was raw. got nothing left to give The touch of your hands The curve of your lips Your soft spoken words Have come to this The tense grip of how you hold me near . I said my last good bye You look me in the eye And tell me we're through And it does not me I'm played One shut eye. you cheated on me for the last time The gun cocked. too far. ready to die To kill the poisonous lies you told For the last time Oh. I learned. my last cry I yearned. pressed against my heart Broken by your image. I learned I swallowed my pride A blank stare. we come to part Too close. the river is deep I thought. a beam of light in the night I held the gun close. straight up and kind I listened. far passed. open lips. please. baby this. stuck in my mind My mind is playing trick on me When I gave you my heart For death do we part I cried my last cry. pointed. oh baby that Please baby. twisted tongue Was last hug the kiss of death You were all I got. in the worst way I'd drop in for at last. to see eye to eye I yearned. to hear. as far inside.I thought I gave my heart to you Not like this.

Quietly. we see eye to eye No love don't love nobody no more Angela Khristin Brown What's Going Down lonely hearts don't die they live to sing a song when they open up it is never over 'till the long days are gone I am a factor of illusion whose vision is an inherent mark through time.Is the grip of hate when I pulled the trigger My last moan. negating insecure thoughts of denial. my last groan The kiss of death. . my last sigh. an intrusion who has paced each step. I withhold an emotion. The voice within.. somberly calling. silently..

I am the image of love Love don't regret I hold emotions. of Circumstance. Feelings come and go .An inclusion from compromise.. negating motivation. I am the mirror image When love hurts I become an invisible enemy of hope. My voice carries on. love what once was mine Within the image of pain became loss and hurt My tears lie of broken promises. I withhold the pain of being denied. When you love someone Who does not love you back It hurts. the beast in the lyrics The buckle in the heart Morning the love I lost.. A state of mind. trust cannot hold loose sand. Allusions I am the mirror image of you You are of me it in my voice You see my actions of who we have become.

Thumping notes . da. the guilt. la. How many times must I walk out before you call my name? Promise me to keep in touch. When you took away the love. Angela Khristin Brown Words In The Wind La. di. phasing Words. da. da Words dancing ac- Cross the page Care-full-lee create- Ingo dialog. da. di. Buzzing noise.images to let go When you took away the blame. Rhythm and rhymes. di. Repeating sounds. the joy. in-and-out. Black out. di. I admit You took away my heart. da. The wisdom Formulates a melody. da.

crazily Mocking words Imitating elements Pondering emotions that clings Within searching. la. Ideas. di. Every stanza. Chasing ideas That rejoicing hymns of joy Of delightful phrases Within a single line Hay.Laud daddy we like to parody Added character To space and time - La-di-da-di-da. di. di. di. hay you Free-doom rings within Freeeeeeeeeely we go. di. da. da. da. la. di. di. da. da. di. da. di. ideas that radiate What up? Words. da Angela Khristin Brown Story of a Ghetto Queen. La. di. da. ho. di. di. By Poet Activist Angela Brown His-story His-story I 'm form the ghetto I grew up in the heart of the ghetto . da. da. di.

sex addicts addiction drive byes affliction to meth.on the west side of north Vegas the streets were fierce the poverty. but a dream from the ghetto living life isn’t what it seems high off the American dream the promise that one day I'll achieve at being a mother the threat of living off welfare a dead beat father who can’t pay the rent the upkeep of raising a family a single mom alone in the world having to raise five children in a single house hold living check to check cannot pay the rent selling everything she got to make ends meet children are starve its never enough living in poverty aunt no joke . the street gangs living on disability in paint chipped housing lawns unwept the needy were greedy streets were filthy rich high on drugs.

the ghetto queen trying hard in school made to look like a fool people telling me I’m too poor to make good grades when scores should be low Making a dollar out of fifteen cents Isn’t enough to pay the rent with the life I’m in transition being better than what I am proud to live in the skin I’m in I pray tis be different no not like this I want to give in to sin I want to quit I fear I’m living a dream Time is not wat it seems The ghetto is not for me It is not what it seems to be The ghetto is not what is meant to be .aunt got no education one job is not enough to provide an education so her child can grow up to pursue a better life to be happy from the ghetto the heart of the ghetto hard times are bad in the ghetto hear gun fire every night they kick in my door through rocks and eggs at my house I pray to God asking what it’s about the roaches and rats are infested inside but I will not come out to sell my body at night their voice threaten me.

When I am scared to leave the house Vegas threats are way too loud People are fed up with discrimination Racy thought racist ideas gone to waste No one wants to fail in life Back stabbers try to get ahead At all risk another ones dead Corruption desperate thieves Try to take over at all means People hide behind their lies The reality of being black in the hood Life is a statistic another one bites the dust in the ghetto She had her child taken away With a rain check that said Your child does not deserve to be black Denied that your color is not good enough You have no husband With no way to raise a child Alone. without a man And because you chose to fuck yourself You’re a homeless slut who is not good enough All your life you wanted more To be successful and to score When they took my child They took all reason to live I’m not good enough To be a mom I fear I cannot go on Live on live life For I’ve been judged There God and my God Don’t see eye to eye .

I want to be remembered Standing against all odds With head held high Fighting for justice. must play on My story .I am a child of God Who has purpose In the ghetto That is where I’m from And I will be damn Before the fat lady sings The last note is played And I give up on my dreams My story. by Poet Activist Angela Brown I do not want to be remembered Sad and blue With my head bow down Living life in gloom. I want to be remembered . I want to be remembered Fighting for just cause And not forgotten For all that was lost. of a ghetto queen Quitting is not an option Suffrage. must play on history must play on This is my story.

Remember the fight For what I stood And the lessons taught Unsung words understood. you won’t give up the fight And that you will always remain focus Keeping God in your sight. for the one you love? Would you change your ways. Remember me for the pain And the anger in my heart Of what I overcome And the reasons I fought.The good deed is done Against the odds For what was at risk is gone. Remember me for who I am For what I've become And for what we've overcome. to be with the man you love? . Empty Love What do you do with an empty heart? Would you die at this moment? Would you break down and cry out. to make him happy? Would you drop everything. Promise me.

needing. fantasies Drifting within space Silenced. dreams. it has many phases. lips. desiring To be told I am loved To be cared for That he respects my needs That he encourages my dreams Love hurts in many places in darkness and light.Ideas. I Longing to be held Longing to be touched Longing to be admired What would you do with an empty heart? To what extent would you go. to be with your only true love? Hands. I am Wanting. skin. tongue Silenced. We break up to make up We take chances Words go spinning inside Of an empty heart and Closed a mind An empty heart Caressing voices cry inside my head I fear the pain of losing . to have him back in your life? Would you jump out a plane? Would you bend over backwards to win his love? Would you give him all your worldly possessions.

.. silently. Quietly. negating insecure thoughts of self-hate and denial. The voice within. . An inclusion from compromise. somberly calling. I withhold an emotion of intrusion whom has paced each step.I regret the pain I pray for forgiveness Words spinning inside an empty heart and mind What would you do with an empty heart? Is love worth fighting for? Is love worth dying for? What do you do with an empty heart? All love burns inside Broken of Ideas Fantasies Dreams Love burns Black Lives Matter I am a factor of illusion whose vision is an inherent mark through time.

negating motivation. being accepted is always denied. You take me down with your bitter ways. . When you took away my right to vote. I am the image of discrimination. I cannot contain my emotions. When opportunity opens. with reasons for negating alibies. You curse me with your unkind words. A state of mind. You thwart hatred with your false accusations.. you punish me with unjust laws. you belittle me by misnaming government flaws. Within the image of discrimination. I become an invisible element of hope. You deny me from achieving my goals. My fears lie desolate of broken promises. whose figures cannot hold loose sand. you cut me with your vulgar lies. is a menagerie of discontent. I withhold the pain of being denied. and I secure the label of reservation. I am the mirror image of discrimination..

I shall not be moved. Into the palms of her chained hands. She mutters. Not in Virginia tobacco fields. She gathers her babies. brown skin down in the moist dirt. baboon. Black lives matter Angela Khristin Brown Black Mamma-Faces She lies. lifting her head. she cries against calamity. bitch. whore… but those descriptions do not . Their lives will soon be upon the killing floor unless they match their mother's heart and words. the canebrake rustling with whispers of leaves. the loud longing of hounds and the ransack of hunters crackling the near branches. their tears slick as oil on black faces. along the roads in Arkansas or upon the reddened hills of Georgia. you took away just cause.you did so with unjust cause. their young eyes canvassing the mornings of madness. I shall not be moved. When you took away my right to petition. She hears the names swirling as ribbons in the wind of history: nigger. her universe collapsing by one black body falling from the tree to her feet.

In pulpits. She stands mid ocean. She only hears the thrashing sound of wickedness. confounded. places her fire of service. into the tents of the free. Harriet and Zora. In the operating rooms. plum-purple. hawking worn-out bodies. give. teach. She pulls them out and sends them away—shoeless—underground. she cries. She sees the momma-faces—lemon-yellow. No angel stretches wings above her children. On street corners. and all the Annie’s to Zenobia’s. She has a way of being: I shall not be moved. . When she appears at the temple door. holding God in their throats. They sprout like young weeds. On the altar. vulnerable to uncaring cutting blades of ignorance.fit their tongues. They stand: In front of abortion clinics. Mary Bethune and Angela. husbanding life. In the choir lofts. yet shielded by mysteries. Their names are Sheba the Sojourner. seeking dry land. there's no sign to welcome her. When you get. Nor can her. who impels her to pull forever at the latch on freedom's gate. none to protect. honey-brown—grimaced and twisted down. His Holy Spirit on her left leads her into the camp of the righteous. She's clothed in the finery of faith. In Welfare lines for the pity of handouts. The Divine. When you learn. Searches for God's face. none flutter and urge the winds of reason. and “No one dare deny my God!” But then she sees upon her right.

" Angela Khristin Brown It’s Over Baby. and to their foes. these words: "However I'm perceived.In classrooms. however great my deficiency or conceit. Centered on world's stage. tell me what's wrong You used to mac me down And tell me I’m fine That you could not live without me You were the king of the castle And I was your queen Whose boots are you knocked now Your future sister? What is it now. what's up with this I kept my body tight You would hug my hips And rock me all night Baby. they each sing to their loves and beloveds. I shall not be moved. lay aside your fears that I may become undone. hating ignorance. loving children. what's up with us Things used to be diferent You’d hold me in your arms And tell me sweet nothings Baby. you played me I’m not good enough .

I dare not cross Don't leave me hanging in the streets Broken bottles. skeletons. reapers in the night I’m afraid of what is underneath this bridge We used to be real tight Open the window and let the light shine through I see you got that eye twinkle you had once The same look when we made love The dark heat caressing strokes Our bodies compressed as one I afraid of losing you My only one true love I’ve come to know Does not choose to luv me no more I’m not for you But what do you mean? I cried many nights things were diferent But it is what it seems It is as it seems You told me to walk I left It's over now And I’m not over you Angela Khristin Brown Lemonade 2 .You can't rise above your ghetto queen By being the man of my dreams But I always thought we were better than that This is a bridge.

Words control the lust I feel I am the voice that thirst I am the darker sister Whose words are As sensitive as her skin I am the voice within Flowing Through loose fingers My words reveal no lies But tell the meaning of Desire Words of innocence I am the voice behind these words I contain silence Silence is being alone .why does it have to be this way? Why do we choose to live this way? Why is life as it is? Why can't things change? Why do we doubt life? Why do we fight the way we do? Why can't we be happy? Why do we argue? Why? Why? Why? Is it because. few words stumble and has lost its meaning? I am the addict desiring with needs burning with the desire to held and loved.

I felt I loved once inside Deeply hidden rage . behind this peace of mind Broken. Alone. behind this peace of mind No familiar faces. behind this peace of mind Abandoned trust.In the dark and cannot see. I am afraid silently I listen The sound of a pen dropping dropping dropping Because I dared to be diferent I am connected to intolerance my thoughts are words accept things into another state of being I know no thirst. death will come someday Ill-exposed by all the lies told Words of informality ill-imagined delusions There must be a better place in this world To heal the pain I now feel inside A place where solitude solicits my tears Solicits my fears of being touched Not by thoughts.

holds a place dear to my heart I've been raped Alone in the night My innocence exercises.. The pain. I am tired of wanting As much to be desired There is no more nothing but wants and needs I am tired of wanting As much to be desired There is no more nothing but wants and needs afraid of my own shadow Hidden behind masks That mark the streets Blind the alleys With broken speech No one understands Every day is a new round Every second is on the clock But our outcome Is a choice We live together We die together The spirit must live We wear the masks Walking stones into ashes Scattered dust in the wind Skeleton bones led to carry on Vulnerable and weak masks . the tears I share Holds a dangerous place inside Ready to explode.. the fears.

Die Without reason Every day is a new round Every second is on the clock But our outcome Is a choice Die Without reason Every day is a new round Every second is on the clock But our outcome Is a choice Die Without reason Every day is a new round Every second is on the clock But our outcome Is a choice I fell down But I could not shut out what corners of my eyes light blocked from seeing a wooden beam I have learned to shut out the world the way men shut out me I fall from circumstance I get close to reality My feelings are not real accept what I am caught up with expectations for what needs .

I cannot reject loss there is no turning back.stars don't adjust in the light I am blinded by darkness in a deep dark hole that I am holding on Alone my heart weeps I exist I learn from their struggle I struggle in diferent ways strong to survive love. Don't be Angela Khristin Brown Love Let me go peacefully In the brisk of silence Let my heart rest On a whole note Let me go peacefully No more fighting . loss and pain I could be the same I must walk of death and live my life for the love of who I am.

to us If I must die . to God.No more name calling No more hating Wishful thinking Me and you To be loved by you Boy meets girl And falls in love Lost for words Deep in thought Out of time I'm in to you Needing you to need me I you we is but a dream To hold you To love you In a gentle way To be there for me Until our dying days To know you care for me When I'm low Love heals the pain I fear the fear To die alone Let me go peacefully In the brisk of silence Let my heart rest On a whole note Let me go peacefully My last wish to you.

Let's rest peacefully With my voice My last note to carry on Cause you all I got With we. are not alone Angela Khristin Brown Stop The Violence Take this kiss tomorrow And hold it close to heart Never let disparity die Broken dreams sorrow Stop the Violence Stop the violence Stop the Violence Peace peace peace Hold fast to promises That cannot keep For a birds clipped wings Cannot fly .

They are we who pray We celibate within the walls that break us People are dying in our streets When one dies it becomes every ones concern Not just one or two or a few. The guns of war has chained its course 'NO More' For its purpose must be resolved. The building blocks behind closed prison cells we are trapped into to thinking trust amongst neighbors. Holding on. broken glass Change must come today.. The cisterns that play Need to be nurtured. splinters.. family.. . Stop the crying - Stop the dying - Stop the lying - Nails.. friends And the walking dead souls calls to freedom.If I chose this road not taken Let my dream be within a dream To not be forgotten peace in the streets peace in the streets peace in the streets In 2016 let us heal We live in a country Streets divided by color Sections divided in tension Amongst the weak and the tired... letting go of family.

The voice within.. somberly calling. negating insecure thoughts of denial. silently.We must learn to practice what we are told we must fight the violence with peace. an intrusion who has paced each step.. Teach tolerance in our schools Teach tolerance in the streets Teach tolerance in the church Teach tolerance to our nation Stop the violence Stop the violence Stop the violence peace on the streets Delusion Voices: lonely hearts don't die they live to sing a song when they open up it is never over 'till the long days are gone I am a factor of illusion whose vision is an inherent mark through time. I withhold an emotion. Quietly. .

I withhold the pain of being denied. A state of mind. of Circumstance.An inclusion from compromise. I am the image of love Love don't regret I hold emotions. the beast in the lyrics The buckle in the heart Morning the love I lost. I am the mirror image When love hurts I become an invisible enemy of hope.. Allusions I am the mirror image of you You are of me it in my voice You see my actions of who we have become. trust cannot hold loose sand. My voice carries on. love what once was mine Within the image of pain became loss and hurt My tears lie of broken promises. Feelings come and go . negating motivation.. When you love someone Who does not love you back It hurts.

Story of a Ghetto Queen. the joy. the guilt.images to let go When you took away the blame. the street gangs living on disability in paint chipped housing lawns unwept . How many times must I walk out before you call my name? Promise me to keep in touch. I admit You took away my heart. When you took away the love. By Poet Activist Angela Brown His-story His-story I 'm form the ghetto I grew up in the heart of the ghetto on the west side of north Vegas the streets were fierce the poverty.

the needy were greedy streets were filthy rich high on drugs. sex addicts addiction drive byes affliction to meth. but a dream from the ghetto living life isn’t what it seems high off the American dream the promise that one day I'll achieve at being a mother the threat of living off welfare a dead beat father who can’t pay the rent the upkeep of raising a family a single mom alone in the world having to raise five children in a single house hold living check to check cannot pay the rent selling everything she got to make ends meet children are starve its never enough living in poverty aunt no joke aunt got no education one job is not enough to provide an education so her child can grow up to pursue a better life to be happy from the ghetto .

the heart of the ghetto hard times are bad in the ghetto hear gun fire every night they kick in my door through rocks and eggs at my house I pray to God asking what it’s about the roaches and rats are infested inside but I will not come out to sell my body at night their voice threaten me. the ghetto queen trying hard in school made to look like a fool people telling me I’m too poor to make good grades when scores should be low Making a dollar out of fifteen cents Isn’t enough to pay the rent with the life I’m in transition being better than what I am proud to live in the skin I’m in I pray tis be different no not like this I want to give in to sin I want to quit I fear I’m living a dream Time is not wat it seems The ghetto is not for me It is not what it seems to be The ghetto is not what is meant to be When I am scared to leave the house Vegas threats are way too loud People are fed up with discrimination Racy thought racist ideas gone to waste No one wants to fail in life Back stabbers try to get ahead At all risk another ones dead .

without a man And because you chose to fuck yourself You’re a homeless slut who is not good enough All your life you wanted more To be successful and to score When they took my child They took all reason to live I’m not good enough To be a mom I fear I cannot go on Live on live life For I’ve been judged There God and my God Don’t see eye to eye I am a child of God Who has purpose In the ghetto That is where I’m from And I will be damn Before the fat lady sings The last note is played .Corruption desperate thieves Try to take over at all means People hide behind their lies The reality of being black in the hood Life is a statistic another one bites the dust in the ghetto She had her child taken away With a rain check that said Your child does not deserve to be black Denied that your color is not good enough You have no husband With no way to raise a child Alone.

And I give up on my dreams My story. of a ghetto queen Quitting is not an option . must play on history must play on This is my story. must play on My story .