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3 girls and 1 boy, my son is the second oldest and I have always been incredibly grateful to have had one son. He’s is my mini-me and as I have written before I spend countless hours wondering if he is thinking the same thing I was thinking at his age. We also have 2 other children, our niece who is 2 ½ and a Foster son who just turned 3. Actually our niece is now our daughter whom we adopted and we are currently in the process of adopting our Foster son as well. We equate the raising of these two to what parents of twins must go through. We have had our 2 ½ year old daughter since the day she was born and we have had our Foster boy for over a year now. His adoption should be finalized by the end of this summer, at least legally and officially, for us, it already feels as though he is ours and has been a part of our family since the beginning. As time slips away from us it’s hard to remember we had a life earlier that didn’t include both of them. When my wife was pregnant I had always prayed we would have twins and somehow I believe that prayer has been answered but in a different manner. Our youngest daughter is actually my wife’s brother’s daughter. He was married they are now divorced, prior to their parting of way they had a son together and also had our daughter. However due to circumstances they have had DHS or Child Protective Services involved in their lives since their oldest son was around a year old. We even became Foster Parents to take care of him at one point when he was removed from them. All his life thus far has been an extremely sad story of abuse, neglect and for all purposes every reason why some people should not have brought children into this world. Our Foster son in his short span of 3 years has lived with us longer then he has lived with anyone else in his life. He too had parents who should not have been together and had a child. He was born drug addicted and lucky to have his paternal Grandmother take care of him in the beginning and remove him from the situation he was in. I firmly believe there is a reason each and every person is put on this earth and that we are designed by God with value and purpose. I do not believe that God makes mistakes or that anyone is a mistake. In fact I hate it when people refer to children as mistakes or surprises. No matter what the circumstances I believe every life is valuable and important and maybe because of what happened you can’t deal with is, but there are plenty of other wonderful loving folks who want and will take care of a child lovingly, responsibly and correctly. So I wrote this because I know what I have saved these two children from. Now granted 6 kids is a lot and some people judge us and think because we don’t have a lot of money we shouldn’t be raising a large family. My wife has had really horrible comments made towards her in the grocery store by other people because of the number of children we have. I have had people make humorous jokes about my family needing a bus to get around, or that when we leave someplace half of the room empties out. Some of these are actually quite funny and I know the pros and cons to having a large family in this day and age. For my wife and I we have never looked at it that way. We both wanted a large family and we are both happy with the way our life and family are. We don’t believe that we need to have lots of money to make it. We see things from a different perspective and know where our values lie. I have saved my children from deadbeat dads who can’t hold down jobs. Dad’s who won’t or can’t man up and be responsible men, most likely because they didn’t have good role models of their own. Dad’s who live at home with their own parents because
they can’t make it on their own. Dad’s, who think it’s okay to go sleeping around with women, get them pregnant and then take no responsibility for that child. Dad’s who put their needs above their own children and are more concerned with themselves than their own child. Dad’s who can barely function to get by in life, lack no social skills and would rather hide then face things that need to be dealt with. Mom’s who have abused and neglected their children. Mom’s who have put their own children in harm’s way because they are dealing with their own addictions. Moms’ who are spiteful and just want to get the dad back so they use their child as a pawn. Mom’s who manipulate others and exert power and control over family members. Mom’s who disrespect and degrade themselves in the name of “love” to find a man who will take care of them, only to find out this deadbeat is just like all the rest and you were just a pawn in his game. Parent’s who have incredibly poor boundaries and don’t like to be held accountable for anything. Parent’s who fool people, even their own family members into believing they have changed and are different. Parent’s that will lie, cheat, steal and are willing to give up their child just to make it in life. These are all the things our youngest two would be facing and dealing with had we not rescued them from the pits of hell. These two precious children who we love and see no difference from our own biological children in would quickly be caught up in the same dysfunctional repeated patterns of their parents and see this as a normal way of life. If they were lucky enough to survive to adulthood they would most likely think this is an okay way of life and that there was nothing wrong with it. It’s all they would know and somehow they would adjust to this type of life. I work in this same type of system and I am all to familiar with how all of this happens and how women have a hard time breaking out of the cycles of abuse and I don’t deny that to be true. I know there are circumstances beyond our control that shape us. I know all of this so well. It’s actually very saddening to see all the evil and wicked things in this world especially when it comes to children. I know there are children out there dealing with much worse than my kids and that some never even make it. Their precious little lives are cut short at the hands of the very people who are supposed to protect and take care of them. All my life I wanted to be a parent. I knew that going into parenting I was going to make mistakes and do something at some point that would cause some type of wound. I also knew that I valued life and knowing that I had a huge responsibility in becoming a parent and I better have my stuff together because the life of this child was dependent on me. I have made lots of mistakes with my kids and I still do, not purposely or intentionally, but there are times I mess up and think oh no, what have I done, and yet my kids haven’t been to damaged by my mistakes. I love my kids more than anything else in this world. I have always loved them and I always will, no matter what comes. My kids are amazing and wonderful and I am forever grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to be a Papa. I highly regard being a parent as one of the most important roles in the world. My kids come first and everything I do with my life is about making sure they have the very best I can give them and they are taken care of. My actions back up my words and I would do whatever it took to make sure they were taken care of. None of it is taken lightly, there’s not enough time in the world for me to make a lot of mistakes and mess it up. Parenting is serious business and I don’t believe it’s for everyone, especially if you aren’t wiling to stretch yourself in ways you never imagined.
I am no great person, but I do believe that each person is capable of greatness. The greatest thing I will ever do is being a parent. My legacy will be lived on through my children (biological or adopted). My wife and I can’t rescue all the children but I feel good knowing that there are 2 less children who don’t have to suffer at the hands of their parents any longer.