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What Is Love?

A Philosophy of Life
By Adrian Catron

Dont let the word love define your LOVE

Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can experience. The
strange think is, that almost nobody knows what love is. Why is it so difficult to
find love? That is easy to understand, if you know that the word love is not
the same as ones feeling of love.

The word love is used and abused for the expression of different sets
of feelings.

The word love is used as an expression of affection towards someone else (I


love you) but it also expresses pleasure (I love chocolate). To make it a little
more complicated, the word love also expresses a human virtue that is
based on compassion, affection and kindness. This is a state of being, that
has nothing to do, with something or someone outside yourself. This is the
purest form of Love.

The ancient Greek used 7 words to define the different states of love:
Storge: natural affection, the love you share with your family.

Philia: the love that you have for friends.

Eros: sexual and erotic desire kind of love (positive or negative)

Agape: this is the unconditional love, or divine love

Ludus: this is playful love, like childish love or flirting.

Pragma: long standing love. The love in a married couple.

Philautia: the love of the self (negative or positive)

These are 7 different kind of feelings. The love you feel for your partner is not
the same as the love you feel for your mother. Even the love for your partner
changes in time. You feel different emotions for different situations and
people.

But still, we use the same word. It is easy to understand that a confusion is
easy made while communicating. I can say I love you to two different people
(and mean it), but I am actually feeling in a different way.
This confusion is not only the case while 2 people are talking, your own
brain does not get it.

What you feel is controlled by the right side of your brain and language is
controlled by your left side. If you use the word love 10 times a day with
different situations, it losses power. Your left part or your brain does not get
fully activated when you really mean I love you and want to get exited about
it. 50% of your brain is a lot.

The first thing that you need to do is learn the differences of the (7?) states of
love. Not the words, but how they feel. It is easy if you recognize the words. It
is basic training. Awareness, that is the secret to love.
Love is a practice, it is not something you find or dont find. You can
practice love for the rest of your life.

Dont abuse the word love. Use other words where you are not addressing
emotion towards other people.

Example: I love chocolate, becomes: I enjoy chocolate. I love my job,


becomes: I have passion for what I do.

Enjoying, loving and passion are 3 different emotions. It is essential to learn


(again) the true meaning of words, not merely to communicate with someone
else, but also so learn to experience them. Words are very powerful
instruments. Not only to communicate with others, but also with your self. The
words you use, creates awareness and eventually your reality.

If you use words wisely, you can learn to recognize what kind of love you are
feeling, and enjoy the different kinds of love. With one person of different
ones.

If you dont know how to find love with in you, you will never find it
outside you.

Words are agreements to express ideas or feelings. The meaning of words is


not absolute, it is always a personal interpretation. The group of feelings
associated with the word love is difficult to understand, and even more
difficult to express to other person. Let put is this way: it is impossible with
only one word.

With the creation of a word, you can give it a special meaning. Some lovers
create words to express what they feel to each other. A word creates and
agreement or memories. This moments can be repeated when you use that
word or when you think about it.

In other languages exist words, related to love, that expresses different


situations that dont have a translation to English. When you know this words,
you recognize this feelings. You get more grip in what you are experiencing.

Beautiful words in other languages:

Yuanfen (Chinese): A love relationship that has been established by lot,


based on principles of Chinese culture.
Mamihlapinatapei (Yaghan): A look that without words is shared by two
people who want to initiate something, but neither start.

Cafun (Brazilian Portugees): Slowly stroking your fingers through someone


elses hair.

Retrouvailles (France): The happiness of seeing someone again after a long


time.

La Douleur Exquise (France): The enormous pain in your heart when you
desire someone you cannot have.

Yaaburnee (Arabic): The hope that you will die earlier than the other, so you
dont need to live without the other.

Forelsket (Nordic): The euphoria you feel when you fall in love for the first
time.

Saudade (Portugees): The feeling of longing for someone you love, but is far
away.

This moments are so important in other cultures that they have words to
express them. My point is, dont use just one word to define your love. Learn
this words and recognize them when you are living them.

With love, you get what you put in

Love is an emotion in action. You can learn how to feel and cultivate your
love... First learn and know the different situations of love. Learn how to
recognize them when you are feeling them. Then you go and share your love
with others.

Love between 2 people can only begin if the interaction is based on truth, trust
and respect. That is something you start giving. This is essential to grown
mutual love between 2 individuals. If the other person gives you wat you give,
then you start feeling love for each other and it can grow...

It is not difficult to understand love, once you know how love works.

It is very easy to fall in love with someone. The difficulty is to stay in love. But
if it is difficult to stay in love, that means, that it is not the love of your life. It is
a love experience. Love is always beautiful, if it is not beautiful, it is not love.
Time to move on. Sometimes, love just fades away. It is better to move on
when you dont feel anything, then when you feel the opposite of love.

Finding your loved one or a relationship...

If you want to find the love of your life, start being aware of your use of the
word love. Saying and thinking I want to find the love of my life and not I want
a relationship is fundamental. You find what you are looking for.

Being in a relationship is a marketing term invented in magazines. Everyone


that is not single is in a relationship. To address a large group of people it is
perfect, but it is to vague to define your personal situation.

The only important question for you should be: Am I experiencing love
or not?

This is the first philosophy essay forming a series under the name: Natural
Philosophy about the most important matters of life, trying to define a Theory
of everything. Continue reading here.

Support the crowd source campaign to publish a ebook, and distribute it for
free. (Link in my profile) or download the first ebook in the Natural Philosophy
series here

Follow Adrian Catron on Twitter: www.twitter.com/adriancatron

Adrian Catron Natural Philosopher, Alchemist, Visual Artist