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1. Lily
2. Ryan
3. Lily
4. Ryan
5. Lily
6. Ryan
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19. Lily
20. Ryan
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25. Lily
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27. Lily
28. Ryan
29. Lily
Running Backs Baby: A Secret Baby Romance
30. Chloe
31. Dan
32. Chloe
33. Dan
34. Chloe
35. Dan
36. Chloe
37. Dan
38. Chloe
39. Dan
40. Chloe
41. Dan
42. Chloe
43. Dan
44. Chloe
45. Dan
46. Chloe
47. Dan
48. Chloe
49. Dan
50. Chloe
51. Chloe
Roxanne Rolling
Copyright 2017 by Roxeanne Rolling

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical
means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written
permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
All sexual acts in this book are between consenting adults over the age of 18.
Intended for readers 18+.

W hat a prick, says Hailey, shoving her phone in my face.

Look at this.
Were squished together on the little couch that we somehow
stuffed into her tiny room after finding it at a garage sale for
twenty dollarsa real steal in San Francisco, the city where
people rent dumpsters for hundreds of dollars a night.
Its morning, and Haileys just gotten home from some late
night hook up. Me, Ive been showered for an hour, but I havent
yet changed into my work clothes.
I take the phone from her. On the screen, a picture of a man
in his early thirties greets me. Theres a headline, but Im not
reading that now. Somehow, Im mesmerized by him, his
piercing blue eyes, the perfect amount of stubble, the chin so
chiseled hes probably a famous actor.
Falling in love? teases Hailey. Found who youre going to
lose your v-card to?
No, I sputter. Im just
Just read it, says Hailey. You arent going to want to
fantasize about him after you read the article.
I force my eyes away from his face and killer body and scroll
down, so that just the headline and the article are on my screen.
Douchebag Billionaire at it Again, reads the headline.
Journalism at its finest, I say, scoffing.
It gets worse, says Hailey. I know its just a tabloid site,
but keep reading.
Ryan Hudson seriously earns his title of Douchebag
Billionaire of the year, continues the article. He was spotted
last night driving over a pensioners wheelchair. Fortunately,
she wasnt in it, but its the thought that counts, right? The
wheelchair, owned by Mrs. Sally Davison, a widower, is
estimated to cost over $10,000. Damages to Hudsons Maserati
are currently unknown, and he was not available to make
Wow, I say, taking a sip of my coffee. What a prick. Drives
over an old ladys wheelchair? Whats a pensioner, anyway?
I feel Hailey shrugging against me. Yeah, were that squished
on this couch, but weve gotten used to it. I think its a British
term for a retiree But thats not the first thing Ive read about
this guy. Supposedly he wants to use his company to run the
world or something. And hes
I should keep listening. Haileys my best friend, after all. But
my fingers glide up, moving his image back into view.
My eyes gaze into his, and, yeah, its just a publicity photo on
my friends phone, but
You even listening to me? says Hailey.
Yeah, I say, scrolling down and then handing the phone
back to her. Thats really messed up.
Well, says Hailey. Ive got to get to work.
Good luck.
Its been a year, says Hailey. Good luck doesnt happen at
the Bigfoot Diner.
I laugh.
Youre the one who really needs it, says Hailey. Second
day on the new job. An intimidating office environment.
Professional dress. Shes teasing me lightly, since she knows I
hate all those things about my new job.
Ugh, dont remind me.
I watch as Hailey throws on her work shirt and heads out the
Pizza and wine after work? I call out after her.
Depends on what I make in tips, she calls back.
Slowly, I unravel myself from the plush if somewhat dirty
couch (mostly wine stains, since it was in perfect shape when
Hailey and I carried it home, cursing all the way), and head back
into my own room, which isnt nearly as exciting as Haileys.
Her room is full of interesting knick knacks, weird things
people have left her as tips (it still is San Francisco, after all,
despite all the techies), and what must be a hundred posters of
her favorite bandsa lot of 80s punk bands, but generally shes
a fan of everything under the sun.
My own room is boring in comparison, fairly neat and tidy,
without any decoration at all. A couple of assembly language
computer textbooks are on my makeshift desk. (My room, too, is
cramped and tiny, but I make it work).
Ive just moved in here a week ago, but Haileys been living
here for an entire year. Weve been best friends since high
school, but weve never lived together before. She hooked me up
with this room, and without it, I wouldnt have any place to live
in San Francisco. Instead, Id be back home in Boston, working at
the family furniture business, something I desperately want to
avoid. Although, at times, it seems like a more secure, safe
option maybe I should just retreat to whats comfortable.
But my dream, strange as it sounds, is to be a top notch coder,
one who can compete with the techie boys of Silicon Valley, one
who can out code them all with one hand tied behind my back. I
want to really change things, and I want to help people, and
coding seems like a viable way to do that.
Even though I was an academic, yet popular girl in high
school, a cheerleader and all that, I taught myself everything I
know about coding.
I pull off my t-shirt with holes in it, and grab my professional
blouse, which is drab and boring by my tastes, but tight fitting
and not terribly unflattering.
I stand before the mirror on the back of my door and suck in
my stomach a little, looking at my breasts in my bra. Somehow,
upon my turning 21, my breasts started to grow, and for a little
while it seemed like I was going to need a new bra every few
months. Theyve settled into a large B cup, but they might burst
out of that any time now.
Checking the clock, I realize I dont have much time left.
I take my skirt from the hanger and try to pull it up over my
legs, but my ass and thighs have gotten bigger recently, too, and
even though the skirt is almost brand new, I have to scrunch it
and really tug it to get it on. Checking myself out in the mirror,
turning sideways, the skirt looks almost too form fitting, too
tight, my ass too big. I hope this isnt too sensual for the
somewhat stodgy office I work in.
After an hour on public transportation, I arrive at work, out of
breath, but at least looking as professional as I ever have.
Hi Ms. Wright, I say to the secretary.
Call me Sheila, she says. Second day, huh?
Yup. And I think Ive got that employee manual memorized
at this point. I read it all day yesterday.
Good, says Sheila, nodding.
And I think Im ready to start coding, I say. After all, coding
is my dream. Coding is why I took this job, even though I
imagined myself working in a t-shirt in some funky startup,
rather than this stodgy super establishment office at least I
have a chance to code, right?
Sheila gives a little laugh that doesnt make it sound like Im
going to be doing much coding.
She reaches down and pulls a binder as thick as a telephone
book out and hands it to me. The weight of the binder makes my
arms feel weak right away, dragging them down.
Thats the extension of the employee manual, she says.
Its important to read that and understand it thoroughly.
Great, I say, putting on a fake smile.
I walk down the hallway with the plush carpet to my cubicle.
This office isnt at all what I would consider the Silicon Valley
norm. There arent any nap stations or crazy gadgets lying
around. There isnt a corporate culture of sharing. Theres
nothing hipster or flashy or trendy about this place at all.
Instead, its downright traditional. Very nice, sure, everything
very tastefully done, but
Looks like its going to be another day in my cubicle reading a
boring book instead of coding. Why wont they let me actually do
any work? Theyre paying me pretty good money. Most people
would consider me lucky, landing this job at 21, right after
graduating college. But I just want to code. I want to use what
Ive taught myself, and I need experience working with a group
of other coders.
I sigh as I sit down in my swivel chair and open the massive
The first page is something horrendously boring that I skip
over. Its a company mission for a company so boring and stodgy
that it couldnt actually have a mission. This isnt anything like
the mega hip companies with killer benefits, nor the hacker-
style startups nothing like what I was expecting. I know I said
that before but it just keeps running through my head, making it
hard to concentrate.
What I find on the next page makes me stop, though.
Something so unexpected I cant believe it.
Its a picture of Ophelia Techs founder.
And its none other than the famous douchebag billionaire
Ryan Hudson that Hailey showed me earlier this morning.
Its exactly the same photograph. It must be his press
His eyes seem to pierce mine again. Its almost as if hes a
real person gazing at me from the picture. It sends a warm shiver
through me and creates a warm feeling between my legs.
My eyes move down past his perfectly chiseled jaw to his
broad, muscular shoulders, which are visible even through his
business suit.
I suddenly realize Im holding my breath, and I let it out, and
now Im breathing faster than normal.
You OK over there, new girl? calls my cubicle neighbor, a
man in his late fifties who I think is named Jim, or maybe Jerry.
Hes got the typical old school programmer body. Hes balding
on top, and somehow makes his unusually nice clothes (I think
his wife dresses him, and shops for him) look slovenly and
incredibly sloppy.
Oh, I say, trying to hold my breath again, which doesnt
work when talking, obviously. But I just cant tear my eyes off
this picture of Ryan Hudson. Yeah, I say. I was just reading
the extension of the company manual.
My neighbor chuckles. Hell of a document, he says. They
make me reread it every quarter.
I just want to get on to programming, I say.
Well, he says, sighing. We dont do a lot of that here.
You dont do a lot of programming? Arent you a coder?
Going on twenty years now, he says. But Ryan came up
with the algorithm, and theres not a whole lot to do to it. Its
pretty much perfect, which never happens in programming.
Then again, Ryans an unusual case like that
Ryan hes talking about Ryan Hudson like he knows him.
He knows this gorgeous douchebag billionaire? Personally?
I have so many questions about what Jim/Jerry is saying,
especially since all I want to do is program, and hes telling me
Im not going to be doing much of that. But somehow, all I can
think about is Ryan Hudson, with his gorgeous face that makes
my virgin body quiver.
So wheres Ryans office? I say, trying to sound casual,
but I probably sound more like Im just ridiculously awkward.
Its just occurred to me that Ryan Hudson might actually be
only a few hundred feet from mehere, in person, in his hot
muscled flesh.
Jim/Jerry starts scooting his chair behind the cubicle wall, and
I see him in the flesh today for the first time. Hes already got a
coffee stain on his shirt.
Hes chuckling. Ryan Hudson, here? he says, a smile
lighting up his face. He hasnt shown up here in years. Too busy
being a billionaire playboy. Im sure youve seen the news.
I nod shyly, not knowing what to say.
This certainly isnt the type of office for a billionaire playboy
to hang out in, thats for sure. So he doesnt even work? He just
designed some genius algorithm years ago, and now he never
comes to work, just spends his time running over old ladies
wheelchairs with his Maserati?
He sure doesnt look like a coder
I suddenly notice that my skirt is bunched up strangely
around my thighs, exposing a lot of my leg.
I catch Jim/Jerry glancing down at me. Gross.
Ive got to go to the bathroom, I say.
I get up, leaving my chair spinning, and rush down the
carpeted hallway in the ultra-quiet office building. Its small, too
small for a functioning company. So this explains it all: no real
work goes on here.
Im strangely turned on by the idea of the asshole billionaire
Ryan Hudson, but at the same time I feel like Im about to have
an anxiety attack. This job isnt what I thought it was. Will I even
get to program at all, or will I just sit at my desk until Im just
like my cubicle neighbor?
I stare at myself in the mirror, breathing hard. The door is
locked behind me.
Youre just a stupid inexperienced little girl, I tell myself,
self-doubt rearing its head. Youre still a virgin, and you just
think youre a coder. But what have you done?
Shut up, I tell myself, sitting down on the tile. Its a very
nice bathroom, after all.

Y ou had some night, eh? says Marty, whos sitting at the

rooftop breakfast table with his legs kicked up onto one of
the chairs. The white tablecloth is caught around his legs,
bunching around his $5,000 suit pants.
His shoes dont have a single scuff on them. Its likely hes
never even worn them before, since hes been known to simply
throw out shoes with the least bit of dirt on them.
I dont even want to talk about it, I say, sitting down at the
table. I take off my sunglasses, fold them, and place them next
to the glass pitcher of screwdrivers that are already taking the
edge off of Martys morning.
Well, thats what you pay me for, says Marty, chuckling,
without even looking up from his phone. I really like this last
part, where they talk about the cost of the wheelchair you ran
The paparazzi were hounding me, I say, trying to stay calm.
And there was a car coming right after me. I avoided an
accident, which, of course, doesnt get mentioned at all in the
Once they decide how to brand you, it tends to stick, says
Marty, finally looking up at me. Damn, you look terrible, man.
Well how do you think I should feel after last night? I say.
A waiter appears, and we stop talking while he silently pours
me a screwdriver from the pitcher.
Would you like to order anything to eat, sir? he says,
subserviently. His shirt is perfectly starched, and his gaze is
politely not meeting mine, which annoys me like nothing else.
Im fine, I say. Just a coffee.
Just a coffee? Come on. All right, well have two full English
breakfasts and dont go light on the sausages, OK? says
I really dont want anything.
Itll do you good, says Marty.
Im sorry, sir, says the waiter. But thats, um, not on the
Well put it on the menu then, says Marty, slipping the guy
a hundred dollar bill.
Very well, sir, says the waiter, disappearing from our table,
looking worried as hell. Hes probably wondering what the hell a
full English breakfast is and how he can get the ingredients for
it. Hell, Id like to know what a full English breakfast is myself.
Martys technically my employee, working for me as my
publicity manager, but were more friends than anything else.
Hes the one who taught me the importance of fine wine,
expensive cars, nice clothes. He taught me how to spend my
money. Hes been rich since he was bornvery, very richand
he basically took me on as a client for something to do, just for
kicks, really.
Me, I grew up middle class and was up to my ears in student
debt while I was working on my algorithm. I was technically
working for Ophelia Tech, but I was my only employee, and I was
working in diners, nursing lukewarm coffee for hours.
Dont worry so much about all this, is Martys advice.
Huh? I say.
The old lady, the wheelchair. You already forgot?
No, I say. I was just thinking about something.
Thinkings no good for you, says Marty. Dont think so
much. Just try to enjoy everything. For instance, I know these
guys have never served a full English breakfast in this fancy
place, but I can guarantee you that for the money were paying,
its going to be the best one youve ever had.
Ive never had one, I say.
Marty chuckles and sips his drink, and his gaze falls back onto
his phone.
Hot piece of ass, huh? he says, showing me his phone.
Its a model that I happen to already be personally acquainted
with, if you want to put it that way. It was a one time thing, as all
my relationships are. I like it that way. Its easy. No mess. No
complications. Just an exchange.
I nod my head stiffly.
Damn, says Marty. You already slept with her, didnt
I shrug. I dont like to kiss and tell.
I can see it in your eyes, he says, winking at me.
Martys hair is slicked back and his shirt is unbuttoned,
showing a tuft of his chest hair. Even though hes dressed to the
nines, he cant help coming off a bit sleazy, in a way. Its weird,
since he was practically born in restaurants like this, or at least
raised in them.
Theres hardly anyone else in here, since not many people can
afford this kind of place.
A team of waiters arrive and deliver the plates. It turns out a
full English breakfast is just some sausages, beans, toast, an egg,
tomato slices, and something I cant identify. I laugh when I see
such a common breakfast delivered on the ornate plates of the
So what am I going to do about this whole media disaster? I
Just embrace it, says Marty, digging into his breakfast.
Who cares what people think? All press is good press, right?
The Douchebag Billionaireit has a certain ring to it, dont you
I laugh.
I never have cared what people think of me, anyway. Ill send
the old lady a check for triple the amount of her wheelchair and
be done with it. Screw the reporters and everyone else.
We finish our breakfast and have another couple cups of
coffee and a few laughs together. I pay the bill, and we head out.
Martys off to the beach for the day, to hang out with the slew of
models who hover around him whenever he lets them.
Come on, he says. Itll be fun. Did I show you the picture
of the last time? That one with the red hair?
Ill pass, I say.
I can get women when I want them. I dont need Martys help.
Later, then, he says.
I get into my Porsche, shift into first, and zoom on out of the
parking garage. The Maserati is in the shop, but thats fine with
me. Its good to get back into the Porsche. Its a real classic, and
it drives like nothing else. Why the hell have I been driving the
Maserati for the last week?
San Francisco is all around me, separated from me just by my
tinted windows, my windshield. The engine purrs as I downshift,
slowing down as I approach a stoplight.
I easily classify the people here into groups: the wanna-be
hackers, the made techies, the real San Francisco residents,
who resent the techies, the service class Everyone is divided by
their jobs, by their ambitions.
Me? Ive got it all, right?
Im separate from the rest of them. Money does that to you.

A ny good tips today? I say as Hailey comes into my room,

sighing, and holding her back. Shes wearing her work t-
shirt, and her forehead is sweaty, holding her bangs in place.
Ugh, says Hailey, flopping herself down on my floor, sitting
with her back against the bare wall. Dont ask me about it.
Sorry, I say, trying to sound sympathetic, but its a little
hard after my strange day at work.
What about your day? says Hailey. You get to code like you
wanted to?
No, I say. I was supposed to be reading this instead.
I hold out the thick work binder that I brought home with me,
even though Im pretty sure its supposed to stay in the office.
After all, it has the words FOR IN-OFFICE USE ONLY printed in
huge letters on the front.
Ugh, says Hailey. Looks like your day wasnt much better
than mine. So theyre going to let you code eventually, though?
I dont think so, I say, explaining a little of what Jim/James
told me.
Haileys not too sympathetic, though, which is
understandable, considering how back breaking her job can be
for so little money.
At least you get a good salary, she says.
Yeah, I say. But I havent told you the craziest thing of all
from today.
Its about a boy? she says, her eyes taking on that classic
Hailey look.
Howd you know? I say.
I can just tell. From your tone of voice. Your body language.
Shit, I didnt realize I was giving so much away. I was hoping
to avoid telling her that Im somehow unbearably attracted to
this picture of Ryan Hudson. After all, he is the douchebag
billionaire, possible one of the most hated men in all of San
Look, I say, holding open the binder to the page that shows
his photo. Ryan Hudson is my boss. He owns the whole
company. He started it all.
Hailey bursts out laughing. How did you not realize he was
your boss? Didnt they tell you about the company? And youre
like the queen of research. I thought you would have searched
the shit out of the company youre going to work for?
I guess I just didnt care, I say. It seemed like such a
boring company I dont know. I thought Id be working for
something else. I know I should be thrilled with the money, but
now its like I wont even be coding
Lets get back to your boss, says Hailey, sitting up a little, a
mischievous twinkle in her eye.
Well, says Hailey, her voice turning coy. Hes pretty hot,
isnt he?
I dont know, I say. I hadnt really noticed
Come on, says Hailey, swatting my leg lightly with a
magazine. Just because youre a virgin doesnt mean you cant
find guys sexy or hot.
Shhh, I say, putting my finger to my lips.
Theyre not going to hear, says Hailey, referring to our
housemates. Theyre not even here.
Where are they, anyway? I still dont think Ive met half of
Partying, probably, says Hailey.
They havent been here in days, though.
Hailey shrugs. Long parties.
I just dont want anyone else to know, I say.
Its nothing to be embarrassed about, says Hailey. I mean,
weve talked about it before, and you know its no big deal, either
I know, I know, I say. I just it didnt bother me for a
while, but now its like Im not a real adult or something, having
never had sex.
Plus youre missing out on a lot of fun if its good sex, that
What makes it good?
Youll know, trust me.
My imagination starts to run wild, and it just so happens that
Ryan Hudson is featured prominently in my imagination. But
thats just a wild fantasy. A billionaire and me? Thats
completely crazy.
Weve just got to get you laid, says Hailey. Thats going to
end this whole torment of yours. Itll make things so much
Im thinking of Ryan Hudson when I say it. I dont know why I
say it. It just comes out: Lets do it, I say.
Hailey looks at me with surprise. You serious? she says. I
thought you wanted to meet the right guy and all that.
Screw that, I say, this newfound reckless confidence
overtaking me in a way I didnt think possible. All I know is that
it somehow has to do with how much Ive been fantasizing about
Ryan Hudson, the douchebag billionaire, and my boss to the
point where I actually broke the rules and took that binder home
with me, even though, of course, I can get his pictures online.
Wow, says Hailey. Are you serious?
Very. Lets go out tonight and just get it over with. I dont
care if its good or not. I just want to get it done once and for all.
But as Im saying this, Im already getting cold feet.
What, Im going to just march into some bar, walk up to a guy,
and tell him to take my virginity? Or maybe I shouldnt tell him
at all. Maybe it would freak him out.
Dont worry about it, says Hailey, reading my anxiety
correctly on my face. Its going to be fine. Well try to find
someone whos not too much of an asshole. Lets eat, and then
go out tonight. Theres a nice bar thats not too grody or
I dont know about this, I say. Maybe its not such a good
idea after all.
Hailey sighs. Youve been talking about this for so long, she
says. How its interfering with your life and everything, how
you dont feel like a real adult. I think youre right, I think its
time to just get it over with. Then you can move on to dating and
real relationships and all that stuff.
But I never pictured it like this, I say.
We havent even gone to the bar yet, she says. Youre not
in some guys bed yet.
But you know what I mean. I just thought I dont know, Id
be in a relationship or something.
At this point, your virginity is just holding you back from
actually dating anyone. And you have to do that to get into a
Youre right, I say. Fine, lets do it.
Great! says Hailey. You hardly ever come out with me.
Thisll be fun! A girls night out. And dont worry, Ill keep an eye
on you, and help you choose the guy.
You think its going to be that easy? I say. I mean, maybe
we should just concentrate on having fun, and see what
happens. I mean, how do we know someones just going to want
to have sex with me like that?
Hailey looks me up and down and scoffs.
Youre gorgeous, she says. Guys are going to be drooling
all over you. You see? You havent been out in such a long time
too long.
I blush a little. Ive never been super confident in my
appearance, especially now that Im starting to um, blossom,
like this, with all my curves growing bigger.
I dont know, I say again.
Were going, says Hailey, putting a note of finality in the
She heads back to her room, and I swallow hard, gulping.
Theres a cold feeling of nervousness and anxiety in my stomach.
What have I gotten myself into? Im not ready for this.
To take my mind off things, I open up some computer code
that Ive been working on, just as an exercise for myself, and I let
my mind sink deep into the C++ code, letting the algorithms,
loops, and variables overtake me. Hey, its a way to get my mind
off potentially losing my virginity to some idiot stranger.

I m back in my Mission District house, in my personal gym.

Ive stripped off my shirt, and Im wearing short gym
shorts that go about halfway down my thighs, to give me more
movement when working out.
My home gym has a treadmill which I hardly use, but its also
got a complete set of free weights. When I started getting into
weight lifting, I used the machines, because thats what I saw
everyone else at the gym doing. But I soon found the freedom
and toughness I was looking for, that real grit, in free weights.
Ive got a top of the line squat rack and a separate bench press
bench. Lately, Ive been getting into Olympic lifts, though, and I
have a complete set of everything. Im not messing around with
this, the way other rich guys do. They spend a half hour on the
treadmill and call it a daythey did their duty for the doctor.
Me, this is the one place where my life isnt easy anymore. And I
long for that struggle. Thats what I love about weight lifting
its just me against the metal, against the weight that never
changes no matter how much Ive got in the bank. I can either
lift it or I cant.
I squat down, gripping the cold steel bar beneath me. I rotate
my hands to a classic grip, letting the texture of the metal bite
into my flesh a little. Its good to have callouses. Its good to feel
a little discomfort, even pain. It keeps things real.
With perfect form, watching my body in the mirror, I quickly
pull the weight up to my stomach and then over my head,
holding it up, executing the clean and jerk perfectly. I step back
and throw the 200 pounds down on the ground. This is just a
warm up, but Ill work up to my max.
An hour goes by, my mind completely clear, completely lost
in the weights. The house is silent.
When Im done, I head into the kitchen in my gym shorts and
pour myself a glass of organic milk from the refrigerator.
I pull down my gym shorts, just because I can, and walk to the
shower buck naked, my cock hanging before me like a pendulum.
With the hot water showering down on me, my cock starts to
grow, as if on its own accord. I let my hand brush against it, and
cant help but gripping it in my fist.
But why not settle for the real thing?
I make a snap decision. The same one Ive made a thousand
times before. Its not like I have a job to go to.
Im going to hit the bars, pick up a hot piece of ass, and lay
her down naked on my bed. Or, if Im in the mood for something
quicker, maybe well fuck in the bathroom. Ive been known to
do worse.
In another twenty minutes, its dark outside, and Im dressed,
seated in my Porsche bucket seat, and roaring out onto the road.
The bar is called Bow Tie, a semi upscale place where people
hang out, sipping martinis and trying to act richer than they
actually are. Its a hell of a lot different than the dive bars I used
to hang out in when I was just getting my start, working on my
Theres not much action yet in the bar. A couple women give
me glances, and while theyre quite attractive, wearing low cut
dresses that hug their bodies, theres just not that special spark
there. I need that. I long for that, and crave it. That moment of
connection, however brief. Thats what does it for me. Well, that
and a banging body.
I sip a glass of whiskey and chat with the bartender while I
wait for the place to fill up.
Its been a while since youve been around here, he says
while wiping down the bar, as bartenders always seem to do. (I
think it appears more professional if theyre always doing
something, rather than just standing there.)
You know how it is, I say vaguely.
A lot of work, huh?
Not exactly, I say. I spent some time down in the
Bahamas, but it got boring.
Sounds like a problem Id like to have, he says, giving me a
Not a lot of action here, tonight? I say.
He shrugs. Maybe not tonight. Its a Tuesday, after all.
Tuesday? Really?
He gives me a wink and goes to attend to another customer.
I guess I really am a playboy billionaire, or whatever it is
people like to call me. Apparently I dont even realize what day
of the week it is. Not because Im out of it, or not organized, but
simply because the days of the week dont mean much to me.
Its not like I have to do something different on Tuesdays.
The bar is a fancy enough place, with an expensive looking
bar. Everything has that elegant look to it. I think they renovate
it every year, so that it keeps that fresh look and never
appears dated. Thats what keeps the customers coming back
and blowing a sizable portion of their paychecks on a night out.
As always in San Francisco, theres a guy next to me on his
laptop. I spot some code on his screen, probably Python, judging
by the structure of the syntax, even though I cant see the code
because of a little bit of glare on his screen.
He catches me looking over in his direction.
Working on an app, he says.
I size him up. Hes one of these typical coder guys you see
here. Theyre practically swarming the city like insects. When I
first came here to run my startup, it wasnt quite like this. The
city was still weirder, stranger, and more interesting. But
thereve been a lot of good changes too. Places like this bar
wouldnt exist, for instance.
Startup? I say.
He nods his bearded head excitedly and launches into an
incredibly boring explanation of exactly what hes trying to do.
Hes a little pudgy, overweight, and already balding, even though
hes in his early twenties.
Hes got no idea who hes talking to, obviously, because hes
talking to me like Im not a coder myself, although frankly hes
doing a horrible job explaining what hes trying to do. I dont
have the heart to tell him that the central piece of his project has
already been done, likely a thousand times better and more
efficiently, almost a decade ago. And the surface functions of his
app are completely worthless. No ones going to buy it: a dog
walker app. Tells you where you pick up their crap, or something
like that, or where the nearest available dumpster is.
Sounds interesting, I say, thinking that I need to get out of
here as fast as possible.
I glance around the bar again. Theres no one who hits me
with what Im looking for.
Shit, I was looking for something new tonight.
I grab my phone and start scrolling through my contacts list.
There are women listed under names such as Hot red head from
tennis or That ass from the gym.
Horribly degrading, I know. But how else am I going to have
any idea who they are? Like I care if its degrading anyway. Its
not like theyre going to see their name. And if they do, thats
their problem, right? They can make of it what they want.
My thumb flies past at least fifty women who would drop
whatever theyre doing, their boyfriends included, for the chance
to fuck my brains out tonight. And they wouldnt expect
anything of it. I chuckle when I think of the douchebag
billionaire term thrown at me. Do people think that bothers
me? Now that Ive got my head on straight, it doesnt matter one
bit to me.
Why wait around this bar for someone to show up whos
never going to? Some mythical woman whos going to blow my
mind (and my cock)? Maybe its just that the same old thing isnt
doing it for me. Ive got women literally at my finger tips. I need
a bit of a I dont know a challenge? Something like weight
lifting, something real and visceral.
So Im writing this in Python, says the guy next to me, the
nerdy tech guy who doesnt have any idea what hes doing. Hes
been talking to me all this time? I hadnt even noticed.
Wrong move, I say.
You heard me. Dont write it in Python. But better yet, dont
write it at all. Its a useless app. Everyones talking about apps
now, but industry is where you want to hit. The internet isnt
finished. It needs heavy duty algorithms, heavy duty task
managers. Apps arent going to change the world. Its just a cell
phone game, essentially
The guys speechless for a moment. But theres a lot of
money in apps.
I shrug. Do what you want, I say. Waste your own time if
you want.
I throw down some money on the bar and stand up. Im tired
of this place and need to get out. Looks like some lucky woman
from my contact list is going to be getting a call from me tonight.
Oh! says the bearded nerd, literally slapping his forehead
with his hand. Youre Ryan Hudson, designer of the Sisyphus
I nod my head, not really paying attention.
So nice to meet you, he says, probably holding out his hand
to shake mine, but Im not looking in his direction. Im just
getting my sport coat situated on my shoulders before leaving.
Nice to meet you too, kid, I say, throwing him a bone.
But arent you worried?
That catches a bit of my attention, just enough to respond to
Worried? About what?
Your business? What about the Zen Algorithm? Its
apparently clocking better performance than yours by miles.
Hes got my attention now. My algorithm has always been
untouchable. Nothing can beat it, and people have always said
nothing ever will.
Zen Algorithm?
I dont sit back down, but I turn back to him. This time, I
notice all the acne on his face, and the ingrown hairs.
Yeah, he says, showing me his phone, which has an article
about the Zen Algorithm open.
I take the phone from him and my eyes scan down the page
quickly, my thumb scrolling along as the words flood my head.
Ryan Hudson may have some new competition etc., etc.,
goes the article, along with the usual bullshit. But at the bottom
are some numbers. Some benchmark scores. Incredible ones.
Scores that blow my algorithm out of the water.
Shit. This could be bad.
Why the hell wasnt I aware of this?
So, uh The nerd is talking to me, but Im not listening.
And Im not thinking about the algorithm either.
Thats all left my head.
The sudden worry, the disaster sounds of financial ruin
everything that was completely occupying my thoughts just a
second agoit all slides away.
The most gorgeous creature Ive ever seen has just walked
through the door.
It takes me a moment to realize what even happened. My
attention simply zoomed in on her. Shes like a bulls eye. Im not
aware of anything. The moment seems frozen in time.
Shes just simply fucking gorgeous.
Shes young, but shes grown up. Shes got curves in all the
right places. Shes wearing an elegant short dress that hugs her
hips and cuts off halfway down her thighs, exposing her shining
Her breasts are probably a B cupI have an eye for these
things, but theyre pushing the boundaries of those size
constraints. Pushing up and out, about to burst into a new size.
Her hair hangs around her face, framing it perfectly.
So the algorithm is The nerd next to me is still talking to
me, but I dont pay him any mind and I step away from him.
I walk towards her confidently. Shes going to be mine. Shes
the object of my desire tonight. The women in my contact list
can wait until hell freezes over for all I care.

T hats him, I hiss in a whisper at Hailey.

Ryan Hudson my boss.
What? Are you sure?
Of course Im sure.
So you were dreaming about him.
Shhh, I say. Thats my boss.
Hes coming right towards you.
No way, I say, unable to believe what Im seeing.
But its true. Ryan Hudson is walking right towards us. It feels
like hes looking right at me, his gaze running up and down my
body, landing finally right on my eyes. He is looking right at me.
But he couldnt be, right? It must be some mistake.
Hes coming right towards you, whispers Hailey, sounding
excited herself. The douchebag billionaire in person.
Shhh, I say again, hoping he wont hear her. Hes just
looking at us.
No, says Hailey. Hes looking at you.
Now we cant talk. Ryan Hudson is right here. Right here in
the flesh. The man whose picture I was lusting over just a few
hours ago, and honestly, the one who inspired me to finally
decide to lose my virginity.
Maybe hes just going to ask me if Im in the wrong place, I
think to myself. Theres no way I look like I belong here. Hailey
somehow stuffed me into one of her tight dresses, and I feel
exposed wearing this, like my curves are tumbling out of the
dress, about to spill out completely.
But hes right in front of me. Clearly me, not Hailey. He looks
me up and down without an expression on his face, but he finally
breaks into a grin.
You need a drink, he says to me, his voice deep and
Hes wearing a tailored sport coat over a button down shirt
thats open at the top, just enough to show me a little of his
Hes much more impressive in person than in his picture.
Hes muscled. Thats clearly evident even through his clothes.
His haircut is perfect. His beard is just right, just a couple
days of perfect stubble. His pants are a good cut, and his shoes
are un-scuffed. Everything about him screams refinement. And
who am I? Just a recent college graduate whos basically
completely broke, living in some cramped house with a bunch of
people I dont even know. (With the exception of Hailey.)
I feel like Im taking forever to speak. The words dont seem
to want to come out of my throat. Theyre caught there, stuck.
He wont take his eyes off mine, and my knees begin to feel
weak, like Im going to collapse under his gaze.
Shed love one, says Hailey for me.
Yeah, I say. Drink.
What an idiot! I think to myself. Drink? Who says that? It
sounds like I dont know how to speak. Thats far worse than just
seeming like Ive barely been in a bar before, like Im new to this
whole thing.
I nod my head vigorously to try to make up for my lack of
proper speech.
Ryan just grins at me.
Follow me, he says, taking my hand in his and leading me
to the bar.
His hand is strong, massive, and roughly textured. My own
hand feels like a dolls hand in his, small and delicate.
I turn my head to look at Hailey.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Hailey gives me a very suggestive wink and mouths
something at me that I dont quite catch. Maybe she mouthed,
Go for it!
Ryan Hudson, Ryan Hudsonthe words circle through my
My boss, my bossthe words wont leave.
Two martinis, Ryan says to the bartender, still not
releasing my hand.
Standing against the bar, he looks simply massive. Tall, but
also just built. Theres something about his body that just draws
me to him.
His hand still around mine, he pulls me closer to him, so that
my breasts are only an inch away from his chest. Hes looking
down at me, gazing into my eyes.
This cant be real, this cant be real.
Do you always look so sexy? says Ryan.
I should try to giggle, but instead some strange noise comes
out of my throat.
I pass it off as a cough, putting my other hand to my mouth.
Careful, says Ryan. You dont want to get me sick.
I dont want to get him sick? Thats a strange thing to say.
Or maybe you do, he says, his mouth turning into a wicked
grin. Maybe you want to do naughty things to me.
He comes on strong, doesnt he?
I I was just coming out for a drink with my friend, I say.
I can see that, he says, but his eyes dont leave my body.
But you must want something more. Dont you?
I nod my head shyly.
Ryan chuckles deeply. You know what you want, he says.
The martinis arrive, and Ryan hands me my glass. My hand is
shaking when I take it. Ryans hand is still around my other
hand, his grip tight enough that its starting to become a little
Cheers, says Ryan as we clink glasses.
Cheers, I say, my voice shy and meek.
He doesnt take his eyes off mine as we each take a sip.
He simply drains his entire drink in one gulp.
I taste mine lightly, and almost spit it out. Ive never had a
martini before, and I dont think its for me. It tastes slimy,
rough, and not at all sweet. Its nothing like the wine that I enjoy
with Hailey, which is so loaded with sugar it might as well be
alcoholic soda.
But I manage to swallow a sip of this stuff. If nothing else, Im
doing it for Ryan Hudson.
But hes my boss, I think to myself.
And hes also the douchebag billionaire, and hes sure acting
like ita cocky, arrogant prick. But a hot one. My body simply
wont let me ignore that last part.
Dont let him know that youre a virgin, I think to myself. Just
try to play this cool. Pretend like youre any other normal adult,
one who has sex regularly, whos had sex at all.
My virginitys never been a big deal to me I guess until
now. There were just so many other things going on. I mean,
sure, I dated guys when I was younger. I got asked out a good
deal, actually, but they were always sweaty and too eager. In
college, the closest I got was with one guy named Jake, but he
actually came in his pants before even taking out his cock. All he
had done was touch my breast a little, of course touching it too
hard, without using any gentleness. He was a sweaty, smelly
mess, and he made some excuse and rushed out of the room, and
I never saw him again until the final exam in one of my courses.
That kind of turned me off to the whole thing for a while. But
this is different and Ryans different. Hes a man.
So you live here? says Ryan, still not taking his eyes off me
for even a moment.
I nod my head.
Dont let him know hes your boss, I think to myself.
So many things to remember: virgin, boss, virgin, boss. Those
two words repeat themselves in my head. How am I ever going to
remember what to say and what not to say, let alone think of
something clever and witty?
But Ive got to say something.
Youre a little shy, says Ryan. Hes not asking. Its a
statement. Everything he says is hammered home with
I am, but Im not always.
OK, not too bad, I tell myself. Not great, but its a start.
Im way too aware that Im starting to sweat.
This isnt how I imagined it when I was staring at his picture
all day in my cubicle.
Shy girls are great in bed, says Ryan. Why dont we get out
of here? I can show you my house. I have a pool. We can go
You move fast, dont you, I say. I cant help raising one
I take another sip of this gross drink.
Only because I want you, says Ryan. And I know you want
me too.
Maybe youre right and maybe youre wrong.
I think Im getting the hang of this new skill: witty banter.
Isnt that what the couples in movies do? Maybe I dont seem
like a virgin at all.
I know, says Ryan simply. Theres no smile on his face. He
puts his martini glass down on the bar with a thud and takes my
You coming? he says. Its up to you, of course.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Hailey over at the other
end of the bar. She gives me a very obvious thumbs up with both
hands, not to mention an over the top wink.
I take a gulp of air before answering. Its about to happen. Im
finally going to do it.
And with Ryan Hudson, no less. Who cares if hes an asshole?
Hes smoking hot. Smoldering, really.
Sure, I say, and Ryan leads me out of the bar.
Hes got his elbow cocked and I weave my arm through his,
holding myself against his muscular body. I can feel the
hardness of his muscles when I brush up against him, when he
moves to turn.
Finally out in the night, the air is cooler than in the bar. Id
gotten used to the noise inside, and it suddenly seems stone cold
quiet out here. The absence of sound makes my decision seem
suddenly graver. Everything suddenly seems much more
intense, scarier.
Before I know whats happened, a valet drives a sparkling
waxed European sports car to the curb. Hes wearing a valet
uniform and runs over to open the door for me.
Ryan doesnt even wait for me to buckle my belt.
The engines roaring, and were blasting off through the hills
of San Francisco.
He turns his head completely away from the road. His eyes
drink me in. His mouth turns up at the corners in a hungry grin.
In any other situation, this kind of attention would make me feel
incredibly uncomfortable, but right now I cant think about
anything else than how my body is feeling.
Ive never felt like this before. Its as if a magnet is drawing
me towards him. My nipples are swelling, and Im feeling a
tingling sensation between my legs.
He seems to notice this. I cant keep my eyes off his
shoulders, and where his chin cuts across his face like a razor
blade. His eyes seem to cut through me.
Theres something Im not sure I like about himbut his
arrogance, his self confidence, these things are just drawing me
closer to him, just making him more attractive. I never thought
Id be the kind of woman who would fall for a guy like this.
Am I falling? What am I falling into?
Here we are, says Ryan. Im sure youll like it.
He pulls quickly into a private underground garage, the door
opening swiftly and automatically. I just get a glimpse of an
immaculate, huge house, with a perfectly manicured small yard
in front.
Even the garage, where we are now, screams elegance and
luxury. Everything moves smoothly, easily. Everything is in its
proper place. Everything is perfect.
Everything except me.
Im a virgin.
Hes clear about his intentions.
Should I tell him Im a virgin?
Will he find out anyway? Will he just think Im really bad, and
dont know what Im doing? Or will he think that Im not really
into him?
Im going to do things to you that will make you feel things
youve never felt, says Ryan, leaning over to me as he
unbuckles his belt. His lips brush ever so gently against the nape
of my neck, making me shiver in delight, sending tingling
sensations of ecstasy down through my chest.

W e skip the swimming altogether.

Shes going to be mine soon.
Why dont you get undressed, I tell her as I take off my
blazer, tossing it casually onto one of the chairs.
The bed is a big four poster bed with a thick mattress and box
spring. She stands next to it and the bed comes up to her waist.
Id love to just bend her over the bed and take her from
behind, sinking my cock deep into her pussy, filling her beyond
her wildest dreams.
But no, its going to be better to take it slow.
She wants me. I can see it in her eyes. But theres something
else too, something like fear. Why would that be?
Is she intimidated by the famous Ryan Hudson? Has my
reputation preceded me?
Whatever, its not important. The important thing is: her.
And that she wants me.
Her demeanor changes a little as she gets undressed. At first,
shes moving stiffly, like an automaton, or like shes nervous as
hell. She bends her body forward, her hand resting on the
mattress for balance. She bends her knee back, moving those
silky perfect legs, until her shoe is within reach of her arm. I
watch with delight as she takes it off.
But what comes next is even better. She pushes a piece of
shoulder fabric from the dress down and to the side, exposing
more of her perfect neck, and her shoulder, which is delicate and
Her hair seems wilder now, and she appears to me as an
untamed wild woman, a sexy siren who I must conquer.
I move towards her, conscious of my growing cock, and pull
her body an inch until her back is pressed against me. My cocks
growing fast, pressing against her ass, fully erect but encased in
my pants. It longs to be free, and to plunge deep inside her.
Slow, I remind myself. Take it slow.
Ill help you with that, I whisper into her ear, before
kissing the bottom of it, and then the nape of her neck.
She breathes out a sigh of relief, a sigh almost of ecstasy, and
her whole body relaxes against me.
I take her dress down, pulling it over her breasts, which burst
out, still looking magnificent in their bra. Her ass is something
to behold when the dress comes off of it.
Her body is simply fucking stunning.
Youre going to fuck me? she says.
I chuckle. Thats what I want to do, I say.
I want you to fuck me, she says.
Wait, I say. Dont worry. Ill give you what you need.
I kiss her again on her neck, and move my left hand to cup her
breast in my hand.
She moans, and her neck turns, her head turning back to me.
I press my face against hers, devouring her mouth with mine.
So much for taking it slow. The delicate touch of my mouth
now becomes a vicious kiss, my tongue lapping her up. Our
tongues are pressed together.
I need you, she says, breaking away from my kiss. Both my
hands are on her breasts. Her nipples are rock hard, and I let my
fingers trace them, enjoying them, savoring them.
What happened to the nervous girl at the bar? I growl in
her ear. Now you want me.
I wanted you then, she says. How did you know I was
I knew, I say simply. Whats your name?
Lily, she says.
You know my name?
She nods.
Thats enough for me.
Her dress is around her ankles, and I cup her ass cheeks with
my palms. Shes wearing skimpy lace underwear that I enjoy for
a moment, feeling it under my hands, before yanking it down in
one swift motion, exposing her delicious ass.
I unbuckle my belt, which falls down heavily with a clank.
Unzipping my pants with one swift motion, I reach in and free
my cock, which is fully erect, ready to burst, just screaming at
me for the satisfaction it craves.
A moment later, a condom is on my cock, and my swollen
cock head is pressed against her ass, not quite near her pussy. I
relish the sensation for a moment, as I guide her body down
towards the bed. She pushes herself down even further,
smushing her breasts against the mattress. I gaze down her long,
beautiful back, and admire her ass.
So much for going slow, I tell myself.
She turns her head to look at me.
Her lipsticked mouth is pursed, and her eyes shine, and for a
moment I regret not letting her go down on me first before
fucking her.
She opens her mouth for a moment, and at first I think she
wants my cock in her mouth. Hell, Id go for that.
But now it looks like shes about to say something.
My body is pressed against her ass. My cock is yearning,
swollen and aching beyond anything Ive ever felt before.
Nothing comes out of her mouth.
I pause for a moment.
What is it? I growl.
Ive never
She pauses again.
Youve never what?
Ive never done this before.
Youve never done it like this before? I say, thinking shes
talking about me taking her from behind, which is strange, since
as far as I know its a common enough sex position.
Ive never had sex before.
Youre a virgin? I growl back, feeling my lips turn up at the
corners. A string of filthy, delicious thoughts fill my head:
untamed virgin flesh. Shes going to be tight, fucking tight. Im
going to be the first to conquer her beautiful virgin body.
Yes, she says, barely able to get the words out.
Ill be gentle, I growl.
I think I need to go slow, she says.
Thats fine, I say, forcing myself to step back away from
her. My cock practically screams out when I take it away from
where its pressed into her ass cheeks.
I pause for a moment to remove my shirt, my pants, my
socks, and my shoes, and now I get onto the bed next to her.
Shes still folded over the edge of the bed, her legs looking long
as they stretch down to the floor, where her toes barely connect
with the ground.
I turn next to her, facing her head. Her hair is hanging loosely
over one eye, and she looks up at me, her eyes seemingly filled
with something something I cant quite capture.
I cant do it, she says.
Ill be gentle, I say.
I cant its just too much. I dont even know you.
I shrug.
Thats fine, I say.
My cock is positively aching. Its still rock hard.
But shes made up her mind.

R yan offered to fix me a cup of tea, but I felt so foolish I just

needed to get out of there as fast as possible. I got dressed in an
awkward silence, and he called me a taxi to take me home.
What happened? says Hailey, as soon as she sees my face.
I walk right into her room, lean against her wall, and let my
body slide down until Im sitting crouched on the floor, with my
head in my hands.
I couldnt do it, I say.
Why? What happened? He found out youre his employee or
I dont know, I say slowly.
At this point in the night, I no longer feel remotely sexy. I
dont feel the way Ryan made me feel for those brief moments,
when he so clearly wanted me.
Its the whole virgin thing? Or something else?
I nod my head. A little of everything, I say. Its not like
Im not ready to do it, but I dont know. Hes hot
Smolderingly hot, adds Hailey, pretending to fan herself.
Thats not helping, I say.
And he made me feel things Ive never felt before hes, I
dont know, a real man.
You can say that again.
Hailey, I say, admonishing her.
This time shes quiet.
I mean, Im ready to just get this done with Thats how I
felt earlier tonight. But now, I really want it.
You really want to lose it? she says. You mean you want to
finally have sex?
I nod my head. It must be incredible, I say.
If hes good.
And Im sure Ryan Hudson is extremely good. But hes just
such a dick.
Well its not like youre going to marry him.
It just didnt feel right, I say.
Well, says Hailey. Thats totally within your right. I mean,
its good youre sure of your feelings. Id say you did the right
Really? I thought you were going to give me a stern talking
to, telling me that I have to march back over there and let him
have his way with me.
No, says Hailey, shaking her head. Nothing like that. I
think you did the right thing. Maybe this whole being picked up
in a bar thing isnt for you.
Im beginning to think it isnt, I say.
Dont worry, says Hailey. The right guy will come along.
Something will happen.
I nod my head, but Im thinking it wont ever happen. Why
cant I just be like Hailey, and enjoy myself for once? What the
hell is wrong with me?
Sorry, says Hailey as her phone buzzes.
She picks it up and a grin forms on her face as she reads the
text message.
Something funny? I say, thinking that if I hear it, it might
cheer me up.
She shakes her head. Its from Dan.
Dans one of her late night hook ups, a friends with benefits
type of situation.
Nothing could make me feel worse right now. Its like a slap
in the face, exposing my own emotional problems or whatever
they are.
Hailey types something on her phone, and then the phone
buzzes again as she receives yet another message from Dan.
This time she giggles and blushes.
Sorry, says Hailey. But I think Im going to
Its fine, I say. You going over to his place?
Yeah, says Hailey. But, like, Ill totally stay if you need
someone to talk to.
Dont worry, I say. Its completely fine. Really. Of course,
its not completely fine, but its not like Im going to try to screw
up Haileys life too.
Youre the best, says Hailey. And itll be fine. Dont
Haileys still dressed in the skimpy dress that she wore earlier
tonight at the bar.
She gets up, exposing quite a bit of leg, not to mention her
breasts, grabs her purse somewhat sheepishly, and is out the
door quicker than I could have imagined.
Now Im alone.
In my room, I pull off the dress, which is somewhat wrinkled
now after what its been through. I carefully hang it up and pull
on an old t-shirt and some more normal underwear. I just have
one pair of fancy underwear, and I wore that tonightits not
like Im going to sleep in it.
I turn off the lights and crawl into bed, but I know the
moment my head hits the pillow I wont be able to sleep.
The night seems to keep replaying before my closed eyes
the luxurious bar, the type I never go to. Then Ryans luxury
house, where even the garage was nice. Not that I saw much of
the house at all, but everything was just super fancy, super
expensive looking. Where I live must be like the polar opposite
of his place.
I pick up my pillow and put it over my head, letting my head
rest on the bare mattress, somehow thinking that this is going to
change my thought pattern, but of course it does nothing. My
head is just so full of anxiety and shame right now that nothing
helps, not even trying to meditate by paying careful attention to
my breathing. I could never get that trick to work anywaymy
mind just wanders back to what it was thinking about before.
Maybe Im not doing it right.
And now I think about Hailey over at Dans house, giggling up
a storm, having the time of her life on some sexy romp with no
strings attached.
I was so close to having sex with Ryan, and the weird thing is I
was so turned on. I can vividly remember how he made me feel,
how it felt having his body so close to mine.
I need to distract myself. I cant spend all night lying awake
having an anxiety attack about how sexually attracted I am to my
boss, and how I still couldnt actually do it.
There were so many reasons not to, though. I have to remind
myself of this, over and over again.
Oh, crap.
Hes my boss.
And yet, he doesnt have any idea Im one of his employees.
That could be wrong.
The thought that relaxes me is: he never comes to the office.
Thank God for that, thats for sure.
I get up and flick on the light. Im going to do what I do best:
immerse myself in my work.
But I dont mean that stupid binder they gave me. If they
want to tell me I have to read crap like that all day, then thats
what Ill do. I wont touch a compiler at work, but at home I can
do what I want, right?
Once he heard that I was really into coding, my cubicle
neighbor gave me a USB drive with the code for the algorithm on
Everyone has it, he says. Dont worry. Its not like its top
secret or anything. Its actually open, in a sense, but not open-
source, because Hudson still has to make money on it.
So that means that if someone finds a problem with it, they
could easily write their own algorithm that would directly
compete with this one, right? I asked him.
Sure, he said, chuckling. But no one can. No one ever has.
And thats because its perfect programming. Perfect logic. No
one can ever beat it. Ever.
Well, Id still like to take a look at it, I think to myself.
After all, one of the first things I learned when I started diving
into all this is that nothing can ever be perfect. Nothing with
computers, that is. People think its all math, and that math is
all perfect. But actually, it all relies on human logic, and as I saw
tonight, human logic can often be faulty.
Im up until the early hours of the morning, completely
immersed in the files on the USB drive. I have to admit that Ryan
Hudsons programming is perfect. And the algorithm well, I
cant even begin to wrap my head around it, let alone criticize it.
He does things that Ive never seen done anywhere, things Ive
never even heard of.
Its a strange sensation, reading the code written by the man
who almost took my virginity tonight. In a way, its kind of like
reading a book or poem he wrote. Programming, really, is a lot
like writingyou have to make things consistent and precise,
but they still have to all have important functions. Everything
still has to do its job.
Finally, I cut the lights. Im more confused than when I
started. I thought maybe Id learn something about the
algorithm, but Im not even sure I found the algorithm. Maybe
Im over my head with all this programming stuff. Im certainly
over my head with casual hook ups, or sex in general.

I can still taste her on my lips. I can still picture her body
lying before me, the gorgeous, perfect curve of her back, her
plump ass pressed against my cock my cock grows partially
hard again just remembering the image.
Im still sore from yesterdays workout. I tend to push myself
too hard, but thats just part of my personality. Hell, thats
whats gotten me as far as it has.
Its a weird sensation waking up alone without a friend in
the bed next to me, ready and eager for a second or third round
before I send her home.
Its not until my second cup of coffee that I remember what
happened before I met the unobtainable virgin goddess last
night. My cock swells just remembering her, but I force my
thoughts back to the conversation in the bar with that app
He was saying theres a new algorithm out.
A second later, Ive got a laptop out, and Im finding every
article I can on it. The code isnt freely available, but that
shouldnt be a problem. Even though Im not programming
these days, I still have friends who might be able to help me out
with that. I need to get this code as soon as possible. If these
benchmark speed scores that the articles are reporting are
anything close to true, then my companys in big trouble.
My entire company is my algorithm. I havent been to the
office in years.
I dont know or care what they do there, so long as theres an
office, and they sell the algorithm to some new companies each
year, for enterprise use. But the algorithm basically sells itself.
Its just a website, and people can pay for the use of it. The whole
thing is free, but pirating hasnt been much of a problem,
because people find out quick enough that its more cost
effective to use the algorithm with the proper framework around
it, rather than trying to build their own, like scaffolding that
keeps falling down no matter how many times you try to put it
back up.
The articles I read say the creator of the new algorithm is a
guy named Simmons.
Im not panicking, the way some people would. Nothing
makes me panic.
But its certainly a serious situation.
Time to hit the office. Time to meet with the staff, for the
first time in years. Many of them Ive never even met, and I
dont remember the names of the people who were there.
There was one guy named Jim, or maybe it was James, whos
been programming for years. He helped me with some of the
algorithm framework, back when I was getting things set up. A
fresh pair of eyes is always good. Maybe he can give me some
I may be a great coder, but I do know when to ask for help.
Programming is usually a collaborative project. I just happen to
be good enough at it that I dont usually need anyones help.
Half an hour later, Im on the road in my car, wearing a suit,
heading towards the office.
For a moment, I have a flash of amnesia: wheres the office
But I let intuition take me there, driving down once-familiar
The office building is by itself in a small complex. Now I
remember why I stopped coming hereits too drab. The whole
place just screams: office. Theres never anything fun going on.
There arent ever any girls. No parties, no fun. Just dull, drab
workthe kind of thing Ive spent my life avoiding at all costs.
And now that I can, whats the point of being rich if you have to
come to the office all the time?
I almost turn the car around and head back home. Ive got
enough money, anyway. I dont really need to keep making
money on the algorithm, do I?
But more money means more fun.
Plus, theres a bit of pride. Something that Ive always felt
about my code. I cant let it get beat. I just cant.
The interior of the office is nice, if a little dated. Nothing
flashy, just a normal high class office.
Can I help you? says the secretary, a woman on a swivel
chair behind a huge desk.
I wonder what she does all day.
How does this office even function for years unattended like
I need to speak to a programmer here, I say. I think his
name is Jim, or maybe James or maybe Jerry. Older guy hes
been programming for years.
Oh, she says. We dont get many requests like this. Are
you interested in using the Sisyphus Algorithm for business
I shake my head. Im Ryan Hudson.
Oh! she says, looking like shes about to fall out of her
chair in shock. Her mouth hangs open, and I can almost see the
oh exclamation hanging comically in the air.
Ill go see if I can find him myself, I say.
I walk past her, since shes still not speaking. Thats not a
problem. I always get what I want, regardless of anyones
reaction. It doesnt bother me in the least that people are going
to be surprised to see me here, or that I havent been here in
years. But Im Ryan Hudson. I dont owe anyone excuses, no
matter what. Without me, none of these people would have the
cushy jobs they have today
Heads turn in the office as I walk past rows of cubicles.
Thats him, someone whispers.
Ryan Hudson.
Ryan Hudson! come the whispered exclamations of
Theres a manager here for sure, someone with an office who
keeps all these cubicle dwellers in check. I cant remember their
names, or their faces. Im not interested in speaking with some
managerial person now, though. I need a programmer.
Ah, there he is.
I can spot his rumpled shirt and slouched back all the way
down the row of cubicles. No doubt hes still got the coffee stains
on his shirt. I wonder if its the same shirt that he wore when I
last saw him.
My strides long, I cover the distance in no time, ignoring the
spinning heads and whispers.
Jim? I say, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He spins around, and his face drops when he sees me.
Ryan! he says.
We need to talk.
He regains his composure. Back in the office, eh? he says,
chuckling. Havent seen you in a long time.
Is there somewhere we can talk, Jim?
Its Jerry, actually.
Lets head to the conference room, Jerry, I say.
He gets up stiffly, holding onto his desk for support.
Gained a bit of weight over the years, eh? I say.
Cubicle life, he says. Not all of us get to spend our time on
luxury cruises.
I chuckle. Same old Jerry.
We head into the conference room and I close the door behind
I pull my laptop out of my briefcase, open it up with the
articles already open, and place it in front of Jerry.
What do you think? I say, only giving him a minute to read
all of it.
Hmmph, he says, frowning.
Hmmph? I say. Youre going to have to do better than
Well, you know what they say about programming? he
says. Nothing ever stays at the top. If theres a better way to do
something, someones going to find it.
Thats not going to be good enough. This is the Sisyphus
Algorithm were talking about, my algorithm. You helped me
with some of it, with the framework. Either this guys lying, or
theres a major problem with my code that I didnt spot.
Theres a knock at the door, and before I can tell whoever it is
to go away, the door opens.
Were busy in here, I say, not looking up.
Oh, says Jerry. This is Lily, our newest programmer. Shes
been wanting to start coding. Maybe now shell have something
to do.
Hello, says a familiar voice too familiar.
I look up, and get a huge surprise.
Its none other than the hot virgin from last night, the one
who didnt want my cock inside her just yet, the one who fled
back to her apartment.
I look at her, and she looks back at me.
Her hair is hanging down around her face, covering part of it,
making her look mysterious and beautiful at the same time.
My gaze finds its way down to her breasts, and to her hips and
her long legs.
Shes wearing a professional outfit that cant do much to hide
her curves. It cant hide the body that makes my cock start to
swell, and draws me to her.
But Im not the type to fall for women.
Lily, this is Ryan Hudson, the
Weve met, says Lily.
Oh, really? How did you two meet?
Weve had romantic entanglements, I say.
I can almost hear Lily gulping in embarrassment.
Jerry is silent for a moment, but the awkwardness doesnt
affect me.
If youll excuse us, Lily, I say. Weve got to get back to
this. Were going to be working on some coding
Well, Lilys a great coder, says Jerry, apparently unaware
that this might put the two of us in a situation we dont want to
be in typical coder behavior, unaware of many social norms
everything that isnt written in code.
Im new, says Lily. I wouldnt know how to help.
But I know shes lying. I can hear the eagerness in her voice.
Shes excited about being near me. I can see it in her eyes and in
the way her body moves, subtly shifting.
But shes excited about the code, too?
Nonsense, says James. From what you were telling me
yesterday, you really know your stuff. And you were saying you
were anxious to get into coding. Hey, it beats reading that office
manual, doesnt it? Then he remembers Im in the room. No
offense, Ryan.
I shrug. An office manual sounds boring as shit, I say. Is
that what they have you doing here instead of coding?
Lily nods shyly.
All right, I say, opening up two more laptops from my
briefcase, and pulling up the right programs and code before
handing them out one by one to Jerry and Lily. Lets get to work
Were going to be coding? says Lily.
If you can help, I say. Then, yeah.
Jerry is already tapping away at the keys, his eyes sinking into
the code. Wow, he mutters, more to himself than to me. This
is incredible.
I managed to get the source code that Simmons is running,
I say. An old contact owed me a favor.
So were breaking industry rules? says Lily, sounding
I chuckle, putting my feet up on the table, pushing my chair
back away from the conference table. There are no industry
rules, I say. If its too rich for you, back out now.
No, she says, crossing her arms in front of her. I want to
work on the project. I just have to go get my own laptop.
Theres a laptop right here, I say.
I like coding on my own machine, she says.
Ah, I say sarcastically. Weve got a real coder here.
She turns away without saying anything, and I watch her
delicious ass moving back and forth as she walks.

W hat a prick, I think to myself, as I head back to my cubicle

and grab my personal laptop, which is covered in old stickers,
mostly the names of white hat hacking collectives.
Hes got to be the most arrogant, self-assured asshole Ive
ever met in my life.
But hes also fucking hot.
I cant get the images from last night out of my head, no
matter how much I try to focus on the project at hand. No matter
what he says to me, I know Im attracted to him like crazy.
Must just be my hormones, I think to myself.
I head back into the conference room, but before I enter I take
a deep breath, promising myself not to let last nights little
adventure interfere with our work. That may sound like a far
fetched idea, but Ive manage to go 21 years without letting
anyone interfere with me in that way, and so far its worked. But
am I going to go another 21 years, and end up having never had
sex with anyone?
I want him, and I dont know why. Hell, I do know why: his
broad shoulders, his jaw line as sharp as diamonds, and the way
he looks at me. It makes me shiver just remembering his gaze.
Im here to work, I remind myself. This is the programming
opportunity of a lifetime, exactly what Ive been looking for. This
is an exciting, in the heat of the moment project. Its going to
require innovation.
Ryan just gives me a nod when I come back in.
My cubicle neighbor, whose name I finally learned is actually
Jerry, is completely immersed in the code on the laptop Ryan
handed him.
Here, grunts Ryan, tossing me a USB drive.
The code? I say.
He nods, and goes back to looking at his laptop.
A shiver goes down my spine and he didnt even look at me.
I find my gaze drifting down his body, soaking him all in.
Work, work, work, I chant to myself in my head. Ive got to
I open up my laptop and plug in the USB.
This is an old machine, but Ive heavily modified it, and it
runs faster than anything you can buy new.
The processor is still one of the fastest, even though its a few
years old. I upgraded the hard drive from the spinning disk kind
to a wicked fast solid state, with the fastest type of connectors.
The RAM was already maxed out, but I found a way to rig it up so
that Im running double the official max RAM. The real kicker,
though, is the Linux distro Im running, which uses less system
memory, making the whole thing faster, regardless of the
Theres not much talking for the first couple hours, as the
three of us dig into the code.
I get the feeling at first that Im in way, way over my head.
Whichever programmer did this is way beyond my level, and he
didnt use any comments in the code, so half the time I dont
even know what Im looking at.
But all those hours squirrelled away in my room, examining
code, start to pay off, and pretty soon, everythings starting to
make sense.
Wow, I keep saying to myself, marveling at the ingenuity of
some of the programming here.
Then again, Ryans own code is really good.
There has to be something fundamentally different here that
achieves these benchmark scores. Just writing clean fancy code
isnt going to be enough, if its still running off Ryans algorithm
engine, which is the meat and potatoes of the whole program.
Anything? says Ryan, after hours of the three of us not
Were all hunched over our laptops, our eyes getting blurry
from the screens.
Ive managed to go this entire time without so much as
glancing at Ryan, but its just been a testament to my strong will.
Now that I have an excuse to look at him, I do so, and I drink him
in. Just looking at him makes my body respond.
Nope, says Jerry, sighing, and pushing himself back away
from his laptop. I mean, the code is good, but I cant make
heads or tails of the algorithm. Everything Im finding makes it
look just like your code.
Same, says Ryan, frowning, somehow looking sexier. To
me, it just looks like he rewrote what I already did. But those
little changes arent going to improve efficiency by any
noticeable degree, and certainly not to the point where hes
getting these benchmark scores. Which makes sense. No one can
seem to figure out how hes doing it What about you, Lily? Find
He sort of glares as he says this to me in a vaguely dismissive
way, as if hes sure Im not going to find anything.
And, damn it, but hes right. I have to admit that I havent
found anything either.
Shit, says Ryan, checking his watch. Im not even sure
what a Rolex is, but Im sure he has one, by the way it looks.
This is the most Ive worked in years.
Me too, says Jerry, chuckling. Its fun to be back into it,
though. Should we call it a day? Maybe well come up with
something if we sleep on it.
Ryan shakes his head. No, he says coldly. Were not going
anywhere until we crack this.
I think Im getting low blood sugar, says Jerry. I need to
eat something.
Ryan taps away at his phone. I ordered us some food.
I excuse myself, saying I need a breath of fresh air.
Dont take too long, says Ryan. Weve got to crack this.
I just feign a smile at him.
How can I be so attracted to such an asshole? Doesnt he have
any feelings about last night? If he does, hes not letting them
show, even in the most minimal of ways.
I take a deep breath at the vending machine, and remind
myself that this is the programming opportunity Ive been
looking for for a long, long time.
Here, I say, handing Ryan and Jerry energy drinks from the
vending machine. Thisll keep us going.
I crack mine open and drink it down all at once. Now, I crack
open the second one.
Ryan chuckles.
This brings me back, says Jerry. Up all night, working on
some code Of course, back then we had to just use coffee and
This stuff is great, I say, looking at the label. Three times
the caffeine and twice the normal amount of sugar. Gives your
brain some fuel.
Theres a knock at the door.
Come in, calls Ryan gruffly.
The door opens. Its Sheila, looking confused to see the three
of us sitting around the conference table, apparently working.
Uh, Mr. Hudson, theres a delivery man here for you.
But its not just any deliveryman. Its not your normal pizza
boy, with a scraggly beard and acne, reeking of pot.
This is a sleek waiter, looking like he just stepped out from a
fancy restaurant. Hes wearing a black tie getup, and I look
down, almost expecting to see tails on his dinner jacket.
Mr. Hudson? he says, bowing.
Just bring it in, says Ryan, barely looking up.
Do you need help uh sir? says Sheila to the waiter.
Ill be quite all right, thank you, he says, and she retreats,
confused, not knowing how to handle this situation.
The waiter wheels in a gleaming cart of silver covered dishes
Without getting in the way, the waiter/delivery man lays out a
complicated set of silverware, complete with thick cloth
napkins. Next, he starts with the plates, which arent disposable
in the least bit. Theyre nicer than the ones I use at home with
Its almost like being in a restaurant, the kind thats far too
expensive for me to go to.
The food is a light pasta dish with some kind of delicious beef
sauce, one thats not too heavy, just enough to keep us going.
Anything to drink, miss? says the waiter, making a small
bow towards me.
I almost laugh at his bow.
I feel out of place, underdressed, even though Im in my own
office building. I do work here, after all.
Im fine, I say, holding up my half-crumpled can of the
energy drink.
Somehow, Im outclassed here in my own office, but the
waiter just nods politely.
Ryan slips him some bills for a tip and the waiter retires to
the hallway, apparently to wait behind the closed door until
were done dining.
Ryan absentmindedly picks up his fork and spears his
spaghetti aggressively.
I didnt even know they delivered meals like this, I say, in
awe of whats in front of me.
I take a bite. Damn, thats good. I dont know the last time I
ate something this delicious.
Jerry is also admiring his food, and seems a little nervous to
eat it. I normally just eat from the vending machine, he says,
chuckling. My wifes going to kill me for filling up before her
Its good for the brain, says Ryan, without looking up.
The three of us dont talk through the meal, except to
occasionally exchange comments about which part of the code
were working on.
Eventually, we finish, and the waiter comes back somehow at
exactly the right moment and takes everything away, wiping
down the table.
Ryan tips him again, and I crack open another energy drink.
Jerrys starting to look tired, his eyes blurry, and he starts
taking frequent breaks because of his back.
What time is it, anyway? he says, making a show of
checking his watch. He knows damn well what time it is, because
our computers, of course, have the time clearly displayed.
We just need a few more hours, grunts Ryan, his laser
focused gaze pointed at his computer. I do notice, however, that
he occasionally looks me up and down, in an appraising sort of
way, as if hes giving me points for my breasts, my thighs, my
ass. I dont like the feeling, and it makes me feel cold. My desire
is starting to turn to anger. Why hasnt he mentioned last night
at all? There were numerous opportunities when Jerry left to go
to the vending machine, or to stretch his legs in the hallway.
Instead, he remained stoic and stony, not saying anything thats
not related to programming.
Meanwhile, we havent made any progress, and the
atmosphere in the room is getting tenser. And its not sexual
tension. Its the kind of tension three exhausted people find
themselves in when theyre working on a problem that they
cant solve.
The lights for the rest of the office have been turned off, and
now the door is open, the hallway like a gaping chasm. Everyone
has left for the night.
Jerrys phone rings. Its his wife, and he promises to be home
Sorry, Ryan, he says. Ive got to go home. The wife was
worried, and the dinner is cold.
Ryan grunts without looking up.
All right, says Jerry. Ill see you guys tomorrow.
Jerry pads his way down the dark hallway to his cubicle. I
watch as he takes his things and walks towards the exit of the
My eyes are blurry from staring at the screen, and all the code
is starting to seem like the same thing.
You can go if you want, says Ryan, still not looking up.
Hes a fucking machine, apparently able to go hours and
hours with his laser like concentration.
Thats it? I say. I can go? You arent going to mention last
Im getting angry now. I can feel it rising in my chest. I dont
care if he is my boss. He doesnt have the kind of power he has
over others. Not if I dont let him have it.
What do you want to talk about? says Ryan, finally looking
up from his computer.
He stares right at me, his eyes not leaving mine. It seems for
a moment as if he isnt even blinking. His face is unreadable,
impassive, set in stone. But hes fucking hot. Hes like some
gorgeous model, right in front of me. But his body language
screams indifference.
But now he looks me up and down, taking me all in, his eyes
lingering on my body. He raises his eyebrows when he looks back
at me, not bothering or caring to hide that hes been so obviously
checking me out.
You dont want to talk about what happens? I say, trying to
get my anger under control. Am I angry because he seems
indifferent to me? His desire for me is still clear, but
Ryan shrugs. You werent ready, he says simply.
But? I say, waiting for him to finish.
But what? Whats there to talk about? If you want me, you
know where to find me.
With that, he goes back to his computer.
I cant help myself Im a bundle of conflicting feelings
anger, lust, desire but more than that, I feel tossed aside, even
though we never officially had sex. Im still a virgin, just an
inexperienced girl, and hes a billionaire playboy with hundreds
of women who would beg for the opportunity to sleep with him.
Hes got experience, and I have nothing. I feel small and
I can see why they call you the douchebag billionaire, I say.
Ryan chuckles. He doesnt care. He doesnt give a shit.
I get up in a huff, grab my laptop, slamming it closed as I do
so, and head out into the dark hallway.

I m in the office until the early morning hours, and finally I

decide to head back and get some sleep.
The next morning, I wake up early, despite the lack of sleep.
Things like that have never bothered me much. I keep myself
hardened, after all, with my intense workouts. Ill never let
myself go soft especially not for a woman.
I wake up thinking about her, her body, and the way she
looked at me last night. What did she want me to do, talk to her
about our feelings or something? Whats there to talk about? We
havent even fucked yet. And its not like I talk a lot to the
women I have fucked.
I like my solitude, my independence, the ability to do
whatever the fuck I want, whenever I feel like.
But I have the feeling now that this independence Ive
cherished is being threatened by this new algorithm.
Ive been running the rough numbers in my head, and if this
new algorithm can actually compete with mine, itll become
enterprise standard in a few short months, essentially cutting
off my income entirely. Its not like Ive lived cheaply,
squirreling away the pennies for a rainy day. Ive had my fun,
and Ive spent my money to have it.
Usually I can get women out of my head easily. Usually I just
fuck them and leave them. Hey, that may not be the best way to
go about it, but thats what I do, and Im not apologetic about it. I
dont give them any illusions that its going to become a long
term thing, unless theyre really lucky and get on my contacts
list for future hookups.
If a woman doesnt want me, which is very, very rare, than I
just move on to the next one. There are plenty more who are
ready for me, and willing.
But with Lily I dont know, I just cant get her out of my
head. I should be thinking about the algorithm and possible
business strategies, contacts, that sort of thing, but she keeps
popping up in my mind over and over again, no matter what I try
to do.
Im just going to have to have her, I think to myself. Thats
the only way to get her off my mind and move past her. Im
going to do whatever it takes to have her, no matter what. Ill
make her see that she needs me and wants me. I already know
she does The way her body responded was incredible. I just
need to show her what sex can be like, show her the pleasure I
can give her. She wants me, and I know it. I just have to convince
her. That shouldnt be too hard.
The phone rings. Its Johnny Robbins, one of my old
programming buddies. Hes a crack coder, but he was never that
interested in business or enterprise applications. He just wants
to have fun on his computer, cracking away at algorithms and
obscure programming metrics. Hes also a bit of a hacker,
cracking his way into just about everything. So far, hes been
lucky and skilled enough not to get caught for the most part.
Well, thats not totally true. He has one arrest on his record,
when he broke into a government system carelessly, leaving
enough tracks that they were able to find him. Of course, now
hes much more careful.
Yeah, I say, answering the phone.
Ryan, says Johnny, speaking in his own peculiar fast way of
talking. He always sounds like hes from New Jersey, even
though he claims hes never been there. Ive got something for
Yeah? What is it, Johnny?
I found some stuff on this guy, Simmons.
Can you tell me over the phone?
I dont think that would be a good idea.
Why dont you meet me at the office, then. We can talk
about it there freely.
The office? Since when do you go to the office, man?
Since I heard about this Simmons guy, I say. Im getting
back into the game, in a big way.
Until you figure out what to do about your algorithm, you
mean, he says. Youre just concerned about your money.
Im interested in the code, too, wise ass, I say. Just like
you are.
You sure you can still hack after spending so much time
sipping fine wines and sampling the local cuisines, and by that, I
mean the women?
Just meet me at the office, I say. Youll see Im still better
than you are.
He laughs and hangs up.
Im ready to head into the office.
My mind wanders back to Lily.
I kept looking at her yesterday, drinking in her body, and I can
still picture her beautiful curves perfectly, the way her ass slopes
down to her round, muscular thighs, the way her breasts slope,
the way her neck
Im getting carried away here, and my cock is growing in my
pants, pressing uncomfortably against the zipper.
I make a split second decision, and grab the phone and make
an order with a very good florist that Ive done some business
with before. Although, honestly, its not like Im in the habit of
sending flowers to women.

S o youre actually working with him now? says Hailey.

Its early morning and were both up unusually early.
Our housemates finally got back from their multi day party,
and they made a hell of a racket this morning at 6AM when they
were getting home. Theres about six of them, and I think some
of them must share a room, because Im pretty sure there arent
even that many bedrooms in our house. Its strange not even
knowing who most of them are. I swear that Id never seen two
of them before at all, but Hailey assured me theyre our
roommates. They were wearing work clothes, all scuffed up and
half taken off. There were three guys and one girl, and Im pretty
sure they all coupled up and are still having sex now with some
additional friends they brought home.
Ugh, says Hailey. I can still hear them fucking.
Sure enough, theres the distinctive sound of mattress
springs squealing and screeching, as well as a pounding on the
floor above us.
Theyre really going at it, eh? I say, feeling uncomfortable
for obvious reasons.
Hailey shrugs. Sounds pretty normal. Probably just
missionary position.
Im pretty sure I blush. I mean, its not like I dont know
about different positions. I can name a lot of them, and Ive seen
the drawings, and even the porn, when I was curious. I mean,
who hasnt? But I have no idea what each position feels like, and
I dont know why someone would prefer one position over the
How can you tell?
Dont worry, says Hailey, ignoring me. Youll get laid soon
enough, as soon as youre ready for it. As you saw the other
night, the guys are just dying for you.
I blush again as a seriously loud series of grunts erupts from
the floor above us.
I cant believe we can hear that even down here, says
Hailey, cringing.
People like sex, I say. Why dont we like hearing it?
I guess because its sex were not having, says Hailey,
Sometimes, shes not so much of a morning person.
So tell me about working with him, she says. Was it weird,
after the other night?
I nod. I was pretty uncomfortable at first, I say. But soon it
just became about the programming
You and those computers.
I laugh. Its fun, I say. I dont know why people say only
guys can do it.
Hailey shrugs. Its just run of the mill sexism.
I guess. Anyway, Im glad I didnt sleep with him. Hes really
kind of an asshole.
He is called the douchebag billionaire, says Hailey. I
imagine hes worked hard to earn such an esteemed nickname.
Yeah, I say. Hes just all about money. I mean hes
really authoritative. I can just tell he knows what he wants and
he gets it. I pissed him off by not sleeping with him And now,
someones threatening his position as this famous genius coder,
and hes going to do whatever it takes to exert his will
What was that? says Hailey.
I didnt hear anything.
Sounded like the doorbell. Let me go check.
I didnt even know we had a doorbell.
Thats because youre always listening to your headphones.
Hailey gets up and leaves my room. I can hear her treading
softly in her socks as she moves through the rest of the house.
Up above, and around me, I can still hear the roommates
having sex.
I blush, even though Im by myself, and I find that my
thoughts drift back to Ryan Hudson, and that night that we
spent together, even though we didnt actually have sex. How
would I feel now if I had gone through with it? Would I resent it,
regret it, or would it have been the best decision Id ever made?
People talk about just getting it over with and moving on, but I
dont think that kind of thing is even possible with Ryan
Hudson. He doesnt seem like the type of guy that you can just
move on from.
Hailey comes back into the room, holding the largest bouquet
of flowers Ive ever seen.
Theyre roses, she says, giving me a coy smile.
Roses? I say. Who are they for?
I shrug. No idea.
Theyre for you. And guess who theyre from?
Ryan Hudson?
Yup! she says, handing me the flowers. I have to stand up
to take them, and theyre so big its actually hard to hold them
without them overtaking my face and pushing into my hair.
Wow, says Hailey. You must have made quite the
impression, even without sleeping with him. What did you guys
talk about yesterday at the office?
Nothing, I say, confused. I dont understand. He basically
ignored me yesterday. Why would he send me roses?
Hes thinking about you, says Hailey, suppressing a giggle.
He wants you, thats pretty clear. Guys like that dont send
roses usually. They just take what they want.
You think he really wants me? I say.
Of course.
I put the roses down awkwardly on their side on the floor,
since theres nowhere else to put them. I try not to damage
them, but I think one on the bottom is already a little mushed.
They do smell nice, I say, leaning down and inhaling
Hailey slaps my ass lightly. Look at that ass, she says,
giggling. It got you your own billionaire.
I sit back up, so that my ass isnt sticking out as it was.
My own douchebag billionaire, I say. And Im not so
Come on, says Hailey. You two working together in the
office late nights everyone else has gone home for the
night and he sent you roses somethings bound to
Im not sure I want anything to happen, I say.
Lets see how you feel about that in a week, says Hailey,
giving me a knowing smile and a wink.
Theres an extra loud groan from above, and finally the bed
springs stop making their horrible noise.
Looks like someones finally finished, says Hailey.
Ive got to get to work, I say, checking the time.
Have fun, says Hailey, trying to slap my ass again as a joke,
but I pull away from her.
Half an hour later, Im at the office, sitting in my cubicle next
to Jerry, chatting with him about the algorithm.
Yeah, I say. Its pretty crazy. Ive never worked on a
project like this.
Well, its a big opportunity, says Jerry. I just dont know if
were going to be able to come up with something. This sort of
thing is usually done by a huge team of programmers with lots of
experience. Me, Ive been at this a long time, but Im pretty
And Im new, I say. But arent some of the best programs
written by little teams of hackers?
Jerry shrugs. When youre young, its different.
Well, I think to myself, Im pretty young.
And Id be surprised if Ryan doesnt still have it in him.
Theres just something about his presence that simply
dominates and commands. If he wants to make a better
algorithm, hes just going to fucking do it.
Hes not here yet? I say.
Jerry shakes his head.
I guess I should be reading this employee manual, I say. I
still havent finished it yet.
I wouldnt worry about it, says Jerry. You know, everyone
in the office has been asking me about whats going on. Theyre
really surprised to see Ryan here.
I can imagine, I say. After years of not really doing any
work but why doesnt Ryan get everyone to work on it?
Most of the people here arent programmers, says Jerry.
Theyre basically just salesmen who know a little about
programming, just enough to sell the product.
I swear that I feel his presence before I see him.
Its just a solid, commanding presence. Hes here to get what
he wants. Hes here to do what he needs to do.
But does he want a better algorithm, or does he want me?
Im so confused.
I see him, his suit practically gleaming even in the dull
fluorescent lighting. His stubble is still perfect, as it perpetually
is. His eyes seem to drill right into me. He focuses in on me and
doesnt look at anything else in the office as he walks right
towards me.
Theres an arrogant grin on his face.
You like the flowers? he growls.
Flowers? says Jerry.
Ryan completely ignores him.
I dont say anything for a moment out of embarrassment.
After all, Jerrys right here.
Well? growls Ryan, seeming to look straight through me.
My breathing gets tighter, faster. I feel something happening
in my body
Yeah, I say. Theyre nice.
Ryan continues to look at me for what feels like an eternity.
Jerrys silent. He knows who the boss is.
Well, says Ryan. Lets get to work. Weve got a special
member of the team for today.
Who? I say.
Johnny Robbins.
Like the Johnny Robbins, the guy who hacked the?
Im surprised you know about him, says Ryan, cutting me
Of course, I say. Hes famous
Only in certain circles.
Well, I am interested in computers
Ryan makes a sound thats something between a grunt and a
hmmph, a sound thats unreadable. Like always with him, I
feel like I dont know what hes thinking.
But one thing is crystal clear now, despite all the other doubts
and thats that he wants me. He wants me. Its clear in the
way he looks at me, the way that he moves, and of course, the

J ohnny Robbins is late, so the three of us get started. Thats

typical of Johnny, and in fact, Im surprised he called me so
early. Like most expert hackers, hes an extreme night owl. For
all I know, he was actually still awake from the night before
when he called me this morning.
The three of us get started, poring over the code.
Lily is drinking coffees from the vending machine back to
back, and Jerry is already having trouble staying awake. This is a
little too much for him.
I cant take my eyes off Lily. Its no longer just her body for
me, and her incredible curves, but its every little way that she
moves. I find myself watching her, not caring whether she
notices, just to see how shell brush her hair back, or how shell
adjust herself in her seat.
My cock twitches each time she moves.
I find myself focusing on every little sound she makes,
especially her breathing, which I know changes, growing more
rapid, when she glances over and sees me staring at her.
Its hard to get my mind on the code.
I can only think about her.
No woman has ever had this effect on me before. Sure, Ive
felt lust. Ive been with countless supermodels, but they pale in
comparison to her.
Today, shes wearing something professional, but I cant help
but notice that shes got on a different type of bra, one that
pushes her breasts up and forward more, augmenting her
already ample bust, which rises and falls with her breathing.
I didnt think I was in the right place, says someone,
appearing at the door.
Hey Johnny, I say, aware that my cock is half hard in my
pants and probably visible, but I dont care. Thats what happens
when I stare at Lily for so long.
So this is the office? he says, making a face.
Youre used to more luxury? I say. I find that hard to
Johnny laughs. Hes wearing all black: black jeans, black
shoes, and a black button up shirt thats unbuttoned up top. His
hair is long, and a very dark brown thats almost black. Hes
thin, and while not conventionally handsome, certain women
have been known to fall for him. His skin looks like he hasnt
seen the sun in years.
Im used to more like squatter hacker spaces, and all
Oh yeah, I say, dismissively. Hacking away in abandoned
buildings, stealing wi-fi.
Youre all about the money, though, says Johnny. You
always were.
But youre here, I say.
Im just here for the code.
Oh, let me introduce you
I present him to Lily, whose eyes widen since she knows his
hacking fame, and Jerry, whose eyes are filled with sleep.
Well, says Johnny unceremoniously. Lets get to work.
I figure youve got your own laptop, I say.
You know it, says Johnny, launching into an explanation of
the specs of his machine, which I could frankly care less about.
Ive never been that kind of tech guy. I just want the stuff to
work. I dont care about the specs. Like I said, Ive never been a
nerd. I just happen to have a mind for programming.
Johnny hunches over in his horrible posture, pulls out his
laptop, and says, Here, this is what I wanted to show you.
Its a research paper thats never been published. Its by
Simmons, the creator of the new algorithm.
Whered you get this? I say.
Johnny just chuckles. Lets just say itd be better not to say.
Wow, says Lily, whos leaning over to see the machine.
Johnny is sitting to the left of me, and Im extremely aware of
Lilys body as she leans in, approaching me. Her left breast is
only a couple inches from my shoulder.
She notices it too, and glances at me sideways for just a
fraction of a second. If I wasnt already looking at her, I never
would have noticed it but I see something in her eyes.
She seems to be holding her breath slightly, aware that my
presence makes her breathe harder.
So, I say, getting the gist of the article by reading it quickly.
This basically outlines his approach. But then he realized that
he could just write the algorithm himself and not publish it,
making a lot of money instead of getting academic fame my
kind of guy.
Yeah, says John. And I think we can reverse engineer his
algorithm with this approach. Basically hes going
Yeah, yeah, I say. I get it. Hes basically rewriting the
simple shuffle algorithm. But that doesnt give us quite enough
Johnny gives us all a copy of Simmonss unpublished research
paper on a USB drive. This isnt something you email, he says
with a wink.
Another ten minutes go by, with all us on our own computers,
trying to figure out how to apply the article to the code weve
been studying.
Oh! says Lily, suddenly sitting up, her eyes looking excited.
I use the moment as another opportunity to take her all in.
The curve of her spine, this time, drives me wild, not to mention
her breasts, which are pushed forward
Ive got something! she says.
Yeah? says Johnny somewhat dismissively. Hes never been
keen on women programmers. Hes one of those guys who
doesnt think theyre as good as men. Me, I just care about
results, whoever the programmer is.
Jerrys asleep in his chair, snoring lightly.
What do you have? I say.
Suddenly, an alarm sounds. Its a vicious, intense noise that
seems to drive right through you, making you feel frantic.
The fire alarm, I say.
Whats going on? says Jerry, waking up.
Its probably just a drill, I say.
But theres smoke coming from the hallway, says Johnny,
Probably just a little trash can fire or something, I say.
Nothing to worry about.
But people are screaming now out in the rest of the office.
Someone out there shouts, Not a drill!
Its probably fine, I say, not looking up from my computer.
Im not taking any chances, not since the last time, says
Johnny, rushing out in the hallway, where he disappears into the
Jerry is next, rushing past him. Come on! he calls out after
us. Come on!
Looks like wed better get going, I say, still calm.
But shes still staring at her computer, not looking at me or
the smoke. Shes completely immersed in her work, and for a
moment Im completely immersed in her beauty.
No, I say, snapping out of my little trance. Weve really
got to go.
The smoke is denser now, and its completely black.
This looks like it might be serious, I say.
But Ive just figured something out! she says.
We can talk about that later.
Im so close, though!
Seriously, Lily, I say. Weve really got to go.
Fine, she says, closing her laptop.
Suddenly, she notices the smoke around her. Oh shit! she
I laugh. Finally you notice it. Come on.
I take her by the hand. She wont leave her laptop there so
she carries it with her. Me, Ive got a hundred laptops, and copies
of everything I need.
We rush out of the conference room, into the hallway that has
the cubicles where Lily and Jerry usually work.
The smoke is thicker now, and its all around us.
I cough involuntarily, and Lily sounds like shes choking.
The fire alarm is intensely loud out here, so loud I have to
shout over it to be heard. Jerry and Johnny are long gone, and so
is everyone else. It seems like were the only ones left in the
Stay there, I yell at her. Im going to see if we can get
I leave her there, and go further into the smoke, towards the
main entrance and exit.
I feel like Im choking, the black smoke filling my lungs. I
cant breathe properly, not nearly at all.
And its hot. Everything around me is incredibly hot, even the
floor. This isnt just some trash can fire.
I can see the flames now. The entire kitchen at the other end
of the hallway is in flames, huge flames that lick the celling. The
fire has spread, blocking the way to the receptionists desk
where the entrance is.
I turn around just as I feel like I cant breathe at all, and rush
back to Lily, whos looking petrified.

W e cant go out that way, shouts Ryan at me. I can barely

hear him above the noise of the fire and the alarm.
What are we going to do? I say.
Is there another exit?
This is his office, and he doesnt even know the layout. He
really doesnt come to work often.
Its weird to have this thought in such a crisis situation.
For a moment, I feel calm.
But now Im panicking again.
Its a fire! Were going to burn alive.
Shit, this isnt the way I wanted to go.
My whole body feels like its freezing up.
I havent even had sex yet! I cant die a virgin.
How ironic, if thats the right use of the word, to die, burnt
alive, with the sexiest man in San Francisco, who I rejected just a
couple nights ago.
I have a sudden urge, despite my full-body anxiety and panic,
to jump his bones right now, to thrust myself onto his rock hard
Lily! Listen to me, do you know where the exit is?
He snaps me out of it.
Were not going to burn alive. Theres another exit!
Theres another exit! I finally say. It feels like my brain
isnt working properly, and I dont know whether its thinking
about Ryan and his cock thats distracting me, or the fire.
Show me, says Ryan, in an understanding, yet commanding
I take him by the hand, finding it strange to be leading this
huge man by the hand, and we rush down to the other end of the
The smoke is a little less dense here, but by the end of the
hallway, were both coughing almost comfortably.
I feel like I might vomit, and I actually bend over once,
thinking that Im going to puke, but fortunately, nothing comes
out. He may be a prick, and this may be a serious fire, but I still
dont want to puke in front of Ryan Hudson. What does that
mean? Probably nothing, right?
Weve got to get out of here, says Ryan. Theres urgency in
his voice, something Ive never heard from him, but there isnt a
hint of panic.
I I start to speak, but I start choking again.
All I can do is point to the other exit, which is hard to find,
near one of the back closets. Its not something Ryan would
know about, since apparently he never comes here. I only know
about it because I spent so long reading the employee manual,
which covers fire escapes very carefully, as well as all other
emergency procedures.
I feel like Im about to pass out, but his strong arms suddenly
embrace me and pick me up as easily as if I were a rag doll.
He carries me through the smoke, and Im barely aware of
whats happening.
Theres smoke and heat, and Im still coughing intensely, a
rough, hurried cough, feeling like Im on the verge of blacking
Next thing I know, were standing in the back alley by the rear
parking lot. Im still in Ryans arms, which are huge and strong. I
can feel his hard muscular chest pressed against me. My breasts
are against him, and so is my face. I look up, and see him looking
down at me, smiling.
You survived, he says, his smile cracking, growing bigger.
I cough right into his face.
Sorry I manage to say.
Im just glad we got out of there, he says.
My laptop? I say.
Ive got it, says Ryan. Tucked into my pants.
I thought I must have dropped it
Dont worry about that right now, he says.
I take in deep breaths of the fresh air. Its a strange sensation,
being able to breathe properly for the first time in I dont
know how long all of that took. It felt like an eternity, trapped in
all that smoke. But it probably wasnt more than a few minutes.
I think I figured it out I say, trying to speak, but my voice
is crackly and hoarse.
Its OK, says Ryan. You can tell me about it later.
Hes carrying me around the building, walking at a safe
distance from it. I can see smoke coming off the building roof.
The fire turned out to be much, much worse than wed thought.
The sound of fire engine sirens is close by, and wailing.
Were almost around the corner of the building, where even
in my state I know that the rest of the office will be waiting,
looking at the building in awe, as they watch their workplace
burn to the ground. Can the firemen still save it?
Despite what just happened, barely escaping with my life, I
feel safe in Ryans huge arms. I feel completely protected, and I
let my head fall to the side and rest against his chest, feeling his
breathing as his chest moves up and down.
He looks down at me, gazing into my eyes without saying
anything, and I look back up at him.
Were around the corner now, and everyone from the office is
gathered, just as I thought they would be, standing a safe
distance from the burning office building.
There are two huge fire engines parked here, with the firemen
in their suits and boots already shooting huge streams of water
on the buildings roof. Other firemen are standing by the front
door, apparently considering if they should enter or not.
Theres an ambulance by the fire engines, and out of the
corner of my eye, I can see someone sitting upright with a
blanket around them, inhaling deeply from an oxygen mask. A
huge cylindrical oxygen tank is sitting nearby.
Is she hurt? says someone, an EMT rushing up to us. Hes
outfitted in a navy blue uniform, with all sorts of gear hanging
off his belt. Hes got a wide face, close cropped hair, and a bit of a
I dont think so, says Ryan. She inhaled a lot of smoke.
What about you? says the EMT.
Im fine, says Ryan, his voice deep and powerful. Youd
better check her out. Ill take her.
With the EMT trailing behind, Ryan walks me over to the
ambulance and sets me down ever so gently.
The EMT starts checking my vitals, hooking up various
gadgets to me that I cant keep track of.
Youre going to be fine, says Ryan to me, his voice deep but
I didnt know you were like that, I say.
What do you mean?
I dont know.
I do know, but I dont want to tell him. I didnt realize there
was another side to him. I thought he was just the douchebag
billionaire, the tough alpha, the muscular badass, the guy who
didnt take shit from anyone, who just wanted money and didnt
care about anyone but himself. I didnt realize there was a, dare I
say, tender side to him.
Ryan just shrugs.
Looks like youre fine, says the EMT after several minutes.
But youd better use this.
He hands me an oxygen mask that I gratefully take in my
hand and breathe in from.
Instantly, my head starts to feel clearer. I didnt realize how
foggy headed Id become.
Im grateful that Im not able to speak without taking the
mask away from me, because I dont want to tell Ryan that Im
seeing this new side of him. I dont want to tell him that I have
feelings for him.
Do I, though? Maybe it was just all that smoke that I breathed
in. Maybe I wasnt thinking clearly.
But as I watch the firemen and the burning building, Im
actually focused intently out of the corner of my eye on Ryan,
staring at the side of his head as he watches his building with
folded arms. My heads clear now, but I still see something in
him that I didnt see before.
The firemen seem to have put out most of the fire. A few of
them have entered the building now. I think that means its
structurally intact to a certain level.
Ryan gives me one final look before walking away, towards
the office building.
He doesnt ask if Im OK, but I can see it in his eyes. I can see
something else something like caring for me. But thats
absurd, right? Hes the douchebag billionaire, and he doesnt
care about anyone but himself and his money.

S omehow she still manages to look incredibly sexy, sitting

there hunched over with an oxygen mask over her face. She
looks so innocent, but yet her body screams at me at the same
time. Her curves draw my gaze towards her, and I have to pull my
head away, quite literally, to keep from staring at her. Shes been
looking up at me with those beautiful eyes, her long eyelashes
flittering down along them. Theres a look of sleepiness or
exhaustion in her gaze, but theres something else too.
Im the owner of the building, I say to the nearest fireman.
Can you tell me what the damages are?
Pretty bad, says the fireman, wiping some black grime off
his face.
Hes one of the ones whos just come out of the building, and
hes covered in black smoke residue.
In one hand, hes holding a huge firemans ax.
How bad are we talking about? Do you think well be able to
use the building again?
He shakes his head vigorously at me. Theres no way, he
says. The structure is holding up for now, but the inside is
completely destroyed, and we dont yet know what kind of
damage has been done to the walls, the foundation, and the roof.
Except just by looking at it, I know the roof isnt going to hold up
for more than another day.
Isnt it risky going in there now?
He shrugs. Thats what we do, though.
I nod my head. So the place is basically fried?
He nods. In situations like this, usually the whole building
has to be razed.
I nod my head.
This puts a bit of a damper on my plans, but not much. Its
not like the office building was doing me much good, anyway. Ill
have to find a temporary place for the sales team, in case there
are any new clients. But as of right now, the potential new
clients are probably just waiting to see what happens with the
Simmons algorithm, waiting to see whether they should buy that
instead of mine when it comes on the market.
The office workers are standing around looking at the burned
out building. They see me approaching and look nervous. Thats
understandable, since they dont really know me at all. Many of
them Ive never seen in my life, and theyve probably just seen
me in the news.
Theres a middle-aged woman who I think is the secretary.
Shes biting her lip nervously. Her clothes have a little bit of soot
on them.
Is it Stacey? I say, approaching her.
Its Sheila, she says, looking up at me. Are you OK, Mr.
I nod. Im fine, I say. Is everyone all right?
She nods. Everyone got out fine. At first, we didnt see you
or the new employee, Lily, and we thought the worst.
We were trapped in there, until Lily pointed out the other
exit, I say. At first, we didnt think it was a real fire alarm.
She nods and continues biting her lip. Her finger nails are
painted neon green and if they werent, I imagine shed be biting
those too.
So, I say. Do you think you can organize the set up of a
new office?
Right now? she says, sounding shocked.
I guess Im understanding how traumatic an experience like
this could be for people. But weve got to get back to work. Thats
one of the things that helps me make moneystaying on track
with a laser like focus, no matter what happens.
Tomorrow, I say. Its going to take me at least a day to
lease a new office building.
She nods at me, but looks worried.
Why dont you pick a couple good people in the office that
you work well with, I say. And you guys can make a little team
to organize the distribution and ordering of new office
equipment. Here, take this.
I hand her one of my no-limit credit cards. I forget how the
finances were set up for office materials but you might need a
higher limit. Order whatever you had in the old office, or
whatever you need. And it goes without saying that its not to be
used for anything personal.
Of course, Mr. Hudson, she says.
Great, I say. Give me your cell number, and Ill send you
the details. Youll be responsible for letting the rest of the other
employees know the new address. Im going to get a place with a
good conference room so that my small programming team can
keep working on our new project.
Is everything OK with the uh algorithm, Mr. Hudson?
she says.
I nod. Of course, I say. We just might need to make a few
updates. I dont know what youve heard, but tell everyone not to
I walk away and stand looking at the building for a moment.
There goes the end of an era that I was barely part of. I can count
the number of times on one hand that I actually came into this
office building, and I dont think Ive ever spent a whole day
there until very recently, trying to fix this new problem with the
I scroll through the contacts list on my phone, and find a guy
named Jeremy Green who helps me get what I need. He works as
a sort of intermediary for things like real estate and business
equipment, so that I dont have to deal with realtors.
Hes not there, but I leave a simple message. Its Ryan
Hudson, I say. I need a new office building, quickly. Ill text
you the capacity details right now. Tomorrow would be best.
Money isnt a problem, as always. But keep it reasonable. These
employees dont need anything too fancy. Professional, but not
I hang up the phone and my gaze finds its way back to Lily,
whos still breathing through the oxygen mask.
You can probably take that off now, I say, approaching her.
She removes it.
She looks shaken, the way shes huddled there. Her clothes
are tinged with soot, and her hair is a mess, but she still looks
Youve got some soot on your cheek, I say, using my hand
to wipe some of it off.
As I do so, she gazes into my eyes, and my hand lingers on her
cheek for a moment.
Let me take you somewhere and buy you a drink, I say.
You need to put that spark back in you.
I cant go anywhere looking like this, she says.
Then come back to my place, I say. Ive got a full bar. You
need to relax a little.
Its OK, says Lily. Ill just go home.
Really, I say. Its the least I can do, after my office almost
killed you.
But you also rescued me, she says.
Then I guess you owe me, I say, trying not to wink at her.
I can see her interpret the meaning a variety of ways. I can see
it in her eyes as the thought passes through her.
Not like that, I say. I just mean that youd be doing me a
favor if you let me give you a drink and feed you, after all that
youve been through. That is, if you can stand hanging out with
the douchebag billionaire for an hour or so.
She shrugs, looking somewhat noncommittal in her body
posture. But I see something there in her eyes, a desire for me
that she might not even be admitting to herself yet.
OK, she says, after a long pause.
My cars this way.
She walks with me, and as we walk, she leans her head
towards my torso. Shes more than a full head shorter than me,
and her head doesnt fall right on my shoulder. Thats pretty
normal for me, since Im just over six foot.
I let my left arm drape around her shoulder and pull her
closer into me, and she doesnt fight back.
We walk in silence, and when we get to my car, I open the
passenger side door for her. I cant remember the last time Ive
done thatmaybe just when I was first starting to date.
Wow, she says. Fancy car. But she doesnt sound
impressed. Im getting the sense that these kinds of displays of
wealth dont do much for her shes so much different than the
other women Ive known.
I start the car and pull out of the parking lot, leaving the
burned office building behind us.
Did you happen to see Johnny? I say.
I didnt.
He must have run off, I say. Thats just like Johnny. He
always runs at the first sign of any trouble now. But I can hardly
blame him, since he basically lives his life in constant fear that
some authority figures are going to come knocking on his door.
Thats what its like to be in the black hat world, I guess.
At least he gave us the article, she says, perking up a little
at the mention of programming.
Yeah, I say. We dont really need him.
Oh! she says suddenly, excited. I completely forgot! But
just before the alarm went off, I found something
You figured out what Simmons is doing? I say.
Yeah she says, her voice barely containing her excitement.
Im driving slowly, and I look over at her. For a moment, I
forget all about the algorithm, because all I see is how her face is
lit up with excitement, shining with beauty.
My cock starts to swell in my pants.
I want her, and I need her.
I need to sink my cock into her tight virgin body. Thats all I
This has never happened to me beforementally putting a
woman above my business needs in a time of business crisis, not
even for a moment.
I force my mind back onto what shes talking about.
Yeah, shes saying. So I dont have the terminology to
describe it. But basically I think I found what to look for in
Simmonss algorithm. He isnt doing exactly what hes doing in
the paper, which I dont think would have worked. But it was a
jumping off point for him, where he was able to find something
else something that worked worked really, really well
I have to force myself to keep my eyes off her, with her
breasts heaving in and out in excitement as she talks, and keep
myself focused on the road.
In another couple minutes well be at my house.
Thats incredible, I say. Youll have to show me. Its a
good thing you still have your laptop. I gesture to the back seat
where her laptop sits. I stuffed it into my belt when I was
carrying her, and it should be fine. My own laptops I left in the
building, and Im sure theyre destroyed at this point, just bits of
melted plastic with ruined hard drives inside.

T he house looks completely different in the daytime. Maybe

part of it is because last time, we went almost straight to the
bedroom. Last time I was here, I was overwhelmed with the
luxury and wealth that his house displayed, but it also had a sort
of calculated coldness to it. It didnt seem like someone lived in
it, like everything had been bought and rarely used.
But now, with the sunlight streaming in generously through
the windows, the whole house has a lighter feel to it. I can start
to appreciate how nice everything is. Its nothing like my
apartment, where the stove has to be a few decades old, and the
refrigerator is an ancient beast filled with my roommates
forgotten and rotting food.
Wow, I say, probably with my mouth gaping open. This
place is nice.
Ryan just shrugs.
Its a little strange to be walking alongside him, following
him through the downstairs of the house to the bar. I could get
used to him carrying me in his arms, the way he carried me out
of that building.
Its just a place to relax, he says. Ive got some other
houses, too. He says this casually, not to brag. For a billionaire,
I havent heard him boasting about his possessions. But then
again, when youre really rich, I doubt you care much about
money in the way people like me do. For a moment, I find myself
wondering what it would be like to be so rich, to have all my
financial problems vanish away. For one thing, Id never have to
go back to work at that furniture store, not that Im planning on
doing that anyway.
Well, says Ryan. Let me order some food. What would you
like to eat?
For a moment, the only thing I can think of is pizza. It sounds
so warm and comforting, full of carbs. Theres nothing like
stuffing yourself full of pizza. Its the ultimate comfort food. But
then I think back to the last meal that Ryan bought us, that
incredibly fancy take out Italian food, which was like nothing Id
ever eaten before.
Plus, Im not sure I want to be seen stuffing myself with pizza
in front of Ryan. Thats something to do with Hailey at my side.
Well? he says.
Apparently its been a little while since Ive said anything.
Uhhh I manage to say. I dont know. Whatever you want
to get.
Youre probably still shaken up from that fire, says Ryan.
Why dont we get you changed out of those clothes. Would you
like to take a shower? Then we can worry about food.
Uhh I say. Im not sure where this is going to go, taking a
shower here at Ryans house, changing here.
Back when I thought he was the billionaire douchebag, which
was just a few hours ago, I never would have even agreed to come
here. But now, well, Im not even sure what I think.
First food you can think of, says Ryan. His voice is
commanding, and he says it all of a sudden.
I respond without thinking. Pizza! I say, with so much
enthusiasm that Ryan laughs.
Pizza it is, then, he says, chuckling to himself and tapping
away at his phone. Dont worry. I know the best pizza place in
San Francisco. And theyre exclusive.
I let out a groan involuntarily.
Hm? says Ryan, looking up at me, because of the strange
sound I just made.
Oh, I say. Im not sure why Im suddenly all clammy and
nervous around him. I guess its because maybe Im actually
considering sleeping with him now This thought brings back
all of my anxieties and insecurities about my virginity. I was
just thinking about how fancy that last meal was
Dont worry, says Ryan. The whole point of pizza is to
relax, right? This comes in a plain brown box. Its only like 10
bucks, too, which is a steal for San Francisco. Most people just
dont know about this place.
He pauses, tapping away at his phone for a moment, and
looks me up and down. His gaze lingers on my breasts and my
face. I can feel him drinking in my body. My panties become
instantly wet as I imagine what it would be like to feel him inside
of me. Not that I can imagine it that well, yet, having never had a
cock inside me before.
I forgot where I put the number, says Ryan. Ah, here it is.
These guys dont have an app or anything. Its just the phone for
them, and if youre lucky, theyll even answer.
Ryan calls and begins speaking fluent Spanish. I have no idea
what hes saying.
When he hangs up, I look at him incredulously. You speak
Spanish? I say.
He shrugs. I like to learn new things. Plus, they dont speak
any English. It should be here in about half an hour. Why dont
you take a shower and Ill put out some clean clothes for you.
I dont know I say. I think Im fine.
Youre filthy, says Ryan, cracking a smile.
Its true. I look down at my clothes, and Im covered in soot.
Well I say. So are you.
True, says Ryan, looking down at himself.
He starts unbuttoning his shirt, and pulling it off, revealing
his incredibly toned and cut muscular physique. I cant keep my
eyes off his abs, which seem to ripple and glow before my eyes. I
never noticed it the other night, but hes got a full sleeve tattoo
on one arm. Its an intricate set of black designs that I cant
make out. And it looks hot, even though I never thought Id be
one to go for tattoos.
What are you doing? I say.
My clothes are dirty, remember? says Ryan. Come on, take
a shower. Youll feel better.
He says this last part almost like a command.
OK, I say. Ill do it, if its going to make you that happy. I
think you just want to see me naked.
He just grins at me. Follow me, and Ill show you the guest
We dont go into his room like we did the other night.
Instead, he takes me to another room, which is just as large. It
looks like something out of a catalogue for fancy homes. But the
bathroom is what really impresses me. Everything is sleek and
shiny, and the shower is huge. I cant even identify the material
that its made out of.
We stand in the bathroom for a moment, and I turn to face
He looks down at me and smiles. Ill put the clothes out for
you, he says. Give me those and Ill get them washed.
Youre going to put them in the washing machine?
Ill send them out, he says. Someone will come by to pick
them up. They should be ready in an hour.
An hour to wash and dry clothes? This must be some fancy
service he uses.
Well? says Ryan, grinning down at me.
You expect me to take off my clothes right now, right in
front of you?
Only if you want to, says Ryan. I certainly wouldnt
I thought you were just taking me here to be nice. I say this
even though I know the unspoken undercurrent of this whole
interaction. And I know that I didnt object when he invited me
home. In fact, it felt perfect.
I am being nice, says Ryan.
Why dont you stand outside the bathroom, I say. And Ill
hand you the things.
If thats what you want.
He doesnt move for a long, long moment. He just looks me in
the eyes, and I wonder if hes going to kiss me.
Hes still shirtless, and I cant help but let my gaze slide down
along his ripped torso.
My panties are wet. I cant hand him my wet panties like this.
I feel drawn to him like a magnet. Im so conscious of his
presence, so close to me half naked. I imagine what his hands
would feel like on me, moving slowly over my shirt.
Is he going to kiss me? Is he going to make his move? I dont
think I would be able to say no.
But he doesnt, and he turns his back on me and leaves the
bathroom, closing the door completely behind him.
Just leave them outside the door, he calls through the thick
door that muffles a lot of his deep voice. Ill send the delivery
person up for them.
Thank God, I think to myself, as I breathe out a sigh of relief.
I cant let him see my soaking wet panties.
But honestly, the thought of him touching them and feeling
their wetness and warmthit makes me even wetter. My
breathing is changing. My nipples are hard, as I unhook my bra
and drop it to the floor.
I look at myself in the mirror, naked now, my clothes in a pile.
Ive always had issues with my appearance. I mean, I know
some men have found me attractive, catcalling me, and things
like that, but on the other hand, people always say that guys are
just horny and will sleep with anyone.
I dont get that sense from Ryan. I can see it in his body, and
his eyes, and the way he talks to mehe wants me, and not in
the crude way that the catcallers wanted me. But that doesnt
mean Ryan doesnt want to take my body
For the first time in my life, my image in the mirror looks
good. My breasts look plump, and I think I might even look sexy.
Thats a rare thought for me, honestly, and it must have
something to do with feeling desired.
I turn on the shower, and admire how fluidly the water flows
out. The steam starts to build in the bathroom, and I step
underneath the perfectly regulated flow, letting the water
drench me, washing away all the soot and grime from the fire
this afternoon.
Suddenly, a thought hits me: my algorithm discovery from
earlier this afternoon! I dont know how Ive forgotten about it.
Its the most exciting thing thats ever happened to me in all my
years of learning programming. Only Ryan Hudson and his
naked torso could drive those thoughts right out of my head.

I take a shower myself, and wonder why I didnt suggest

showering together. I know she would have gone for it. I
saw the way she was looking at me. But I want to take it slow
with her. Its going to be so much better when I finally sink my
cock deep into her tight pussy.
Shes a virgin. Shes a virgin.
The water runs over me, and I soap up, letting the suds stay
on my body for a moment.
My cock is fully erect, with soap suds gathering around it. The
head is swollen far beyond its normal extent.
Just wait, I think to myself. Just wait.
As I towel off, the door bell rings.
Yeah? I say, hitting the intercom button in my bathroom.
A moment later, a video shows up on the intercom screen,
showing me the delivery guy from Changasitos out front, whos
idly shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he holds
the plain brown pizza box. I ordered an extra large with
everything on it, which is the only kind of pizza to order from
Changasitos, and frankly, the other pizza in San Francisco isnt
even worth eating in my opinionits all foodie nonsense. Sure,
thats good sometimes, but not with pizza.
Be right there, I say into the intercom.
I throw on a pair of shorts and plain t-shirt from the
bathroom closet where I keep most of my casual clothes and
head downstairs.
Thanks, man, I say, opening the door quickly, taking the
pizza, and handing the guy a hefty tip.
Before I can close the door, a van from Rapid-Cleaners shows
up, with the emblem painted on the side, and I wave the man on
I tell him where to pick up the clothes, and he goes jogging up
the stairs.
Hes back down in less than a minute, and racing away in his
Pizzas here, I say into the intercom, pressing the button to
let me speak directly into the bathroom where Lily is showering.
Shes probably out of the shower now, completely naked, drying
herself. I close my eyes for a moment and imagine what she
must look like.
My cock stiffens in my pants.
Ill be right down, she says. I guess she figured out how to
use the intercom.
Im in one of the living rooms, with the pizza box in front of
me, my feet kicked up on a soft piece of furniture that serves as a
sort of a coffee table.
Its not like I designed the room myself. I had someone do it,
of course. They asked me a bunch of questions about what I like
and dislike in furniture, and at the time I didnt have any idea
whatsoever, so I just pointed to things in a catalogue. In the end,
the decorator just used her best judgment, which was probably
for the best.
Lily steps into the room, her hair wet and falling down around
her. I didnt realize just how long it really is. It looks beautiful
Shes wearing a pair of my gym shorts, which are short on
me, but somewhat long on her, covering about half of her thigh.
I can still see the creamy, beautiful texture of her thigh, and as
she moves, the shorts move along with her, revealing more of
her leg.
Shes wearing a button down shirt. I left her a t-shirt, though.
I found this in the closet, she says. I hope you dont mind
that I put it on. I thought it might be a little cold in here with the
air conditioning on.
I nod and grin at her. Of course, I say.
I dont know what it is about seeing her in my clothes, but its
hot. The button down shirt is quite long on her, but she doesnt
have it buttoned all the way up, and while I cant see much of her
cleavage, I can make out that shes not wearing a bra.
My cock stiffens as she walks towards me.
Slow, I remind myself.
She sits down.
Pizza! Im starving.
Youre going to love this, I say, opening the box and
handing it to her.
She takes a bite daintily, eating just the tip of the triangular
Wow, she says out of the corner of her mouth as she chews.
I chuckle. Best pizza in San Francisco, I say. And Im
willing to defend that.
You dont need to, she says.
I grab myself some, and a minute later, weve both devoured
our first slice.
I guess that fire took a lot out of us, I say.
She nods. So, she says. I remembered in the shower about
what it was I figured out in Simmonss paper I think we can
use it to reverse engineer his algorithm and now I know why
its been so hard to figure out what hes doing, even though we
have all the code
Shhh I say, putting my finger to her lips.
Dont you want to hear about it?
Lets just relax, I say.
But whats more important than this? Your whole company
is at stake.
Youre more important, I say, looking her right in the eyes,
speaking calmly.
She pauses for a moment, not saying anything.
She moves slightly, and I look down to see that her nipples
are hard in her shirt.
My cock springs up, swelling completely. The ache is so
strong, its painful.

T heres just something about him.

I cant keep my eyes off him. I find my eyes moving along his
arms to his shoulders, where his sleeve is bunched up a little,
revealing more of his tattoos, more of his muscular shoulders
and upper arms.
Its now or never, I tell myself.
This is why youre a virgin, I tell myself. Youre never
admitting to yourself what you really feel. You never have
But now I am. I know what I feel. I know that the gym shorts
Im wearing are wet. I know Im breathing differently. I know I
cant stop thinking about his cock, and what it would be like to
taste it, to have it deep inside me.
Hes right. There are more important things that the
I lean in towards him, and he leans towards me at exactly the
same moment.
We dont have to speak.
Our lips connect, and for a moment its gentle and sweet.
Hes a real man. My mind wont let go of this thought. Hes a
man, not the awkward gangly guys Ive messed around with
Something clicks in my body, and my desire is suddenly
unleashed. All it took was feeling his lips on mine.
Now Im all over him, pressing my mouth forcefully onto his.
Our tongues mash into each other. His breathing is hot and
heavy. I press my hand onto his torso, pushing my palm against
his hard muscles.
His hands are gripping me on my sides, pulling me towards
him. Were both on the couch, and theres hardly any space
between us. I can feel the heat from his body now that Im near
I push my hand forcefully down along his torso until I reach
his cock. Its massive and rock hard. I dont think hes wearing
underwear. Just these thin mesh gym shorts covering his
massive manhood, which is raging hard hard for me.
I need you, I say, breathless, pulling my mouth away from
his for a moment.
He uses the opportunity to bite my neck very lightly, and now
he kisses my earlobe.
I moan softly as he does so.
You sure youre ready? he growls, pulling his head back to
look at me.
His hands are still gripping my thighs. The gym shorts Im
wearing have ridden up along my thigh, exposing it. Im
incredibly conscious that Im not wearing any panties, and
theres not much space between his cock and my pussy.
My clit is swollen and aching.
Ive never wanted anything so badly in my life.
Yes, I whisper.
He looks at me and his eyes are filled with desire.
His mouth is back on mine, pressing savagely against me. Our
teeth connect for a moment. His tongue pushes into my mouth
His hands are on my breasts, but he doesnt bother going
under my shirt.
My nipples are rock hard.
He rips the shirt off with two hands, grasping the edges and
pulling like a savage. The buttons pop off and the shirt comes
open. My breasts hang out and he pulls me further against him.
My legs are splayed open in a crouching position. He repositions
himself so that Im straddling him and pulls me even closer.
I wrap my legs around his back and I feel his chest against my
breasts and my stomach.
His hands are on my breasts, cupping them gently.
I can feel his breath against my neck, hot, heavy, ragged.
He pulls off his shirt and pushes my body towards him, trying
to merge with his flesh.
Unconsciously, Im grinding my pelvis against him. His cock
pushes against me, right up against my swollen clit, and it
already feels so good, even without him inside me. Im rocking
my body against him, riding my clit against his cock.
It reminds me of when I would sometimes masturbate by
riding my pillow, face down on my bed. Only this is completely
Let me show you something better, he growls, and picks
me up easily and places me down on the couch.
With a single motion, he pulls off my soaked gym shorts and
tosses them aside.
Now Im completely naked, with my wet hair in a mess
around my head, which is pushed into the plush couch cushions.
Ive never been so vulnerable, but I love it.
He pushes his hand down between my legs, his other hand on
my stomach.
I breathe in suddenly and sharply as his tongue does a broad
stroke along my pussy, just barely touching my hot, swollen clit.
I moan as he keeps licking me. Its so intimate.
Its a good thing I shaved, I think to myself.
But thats the last thought that enters my head as the
pleasure overtakes me, running like a bubble through my body.
My body begins to shake slightly. This is so different from
getting myself off. So much better.
So much more intense.
Hes concentrating on my clit now, using the tip of his tongue
expertly, and I moan loudly without trying to. It just comes out
of me, an extension of the intense pleasure Im feeling.
Im going to come I manage to say.
Good, he growls, pausing for just a moment.
His hands are now gripping my ass, between me and the
couch cushions. Hes holding on tight, and I grip his head with
my thighs, squeezing my legs tight around him.
The orgasm pulses through me.
I let out a cry as it hits me full on.
He doesnt stop for a moment, continuing his magic with his
tongue until Ive reached my crescendo.
He reads my body. He doesnt just know what hes doinghe
anticipates my response, as if he knows what each shiver and
moan mean exactly.
Your turn, he growls at me, standing up.
He towers over me and looks down.
I feel miniscule in comparison to his massive, muscular
Im still feeling the after effects of the orgasm, and Im
breathing heavily, my breasts rising and falling.
He drops his shorts, kicking them aside as they slide easily
down his thick, powerful legs.
Hes buck naked, his erect cock pointing up and out, like a
I cant keep my eyes off his cock. I zone in on it and I want it.
Come here, he growls.
As I move my head towards him, almost instinctually, he
grips my head with both his powerful hands and pulls me
towards his cock.
Not that I need it.
I couldnt keep away from it if I wanted to.
I purse my lips as I take him in my mouth.
Oh fuck is this hot.
My clit is throbbing intensely.
I take him all the way in my mouth. His girth fills my mouth
completely, and I long for it inside my pussy, filling me up in the
same way.
I jam my head down along his cock, until it hits the back of
my throat.
I gag slightly, but I fucking love it.
He pulls my head away but I want more; I want his cock
jammed inside my mouth.
Youre eager, he growls. Thats good, but Im not coming
yet. I need your pussy.
I keep my eyes locked onto his as I throw myself back down
on the couch, which is wide and deep. I can throw my legs out,
spreading them widely while Im on my back.
He lowers his massive body on top of mine, his cock falling
right between my legs.
Fuck me, I say, practically breathless.
He just growls as his cock enters me. He doesnt even use his
hands. It just glides right in.
Holy fuck.
It hurts like nothing else.
But theres pleasure too, more pleasure than Ive ever felt.
Does it hurt? he says.
His cock is pushing its way into me, very, very slowly.
But its girth fills me and stretches me.
I nod my head. Dont stop! I say frantically, thinking that
he might because he doesnt want to hurt me.
Dont worry, he growls.
His cock is all the way in and now hes moving it in and out
with quicker strokes.
Im groaning with the pleasure and the pain.
The pleasure takes over and the pain is mostly gone.
Hes riding me faster now, and gradually his strokes grow
Hes grunting as he rides me.
Im crying out as hes fucking me harder and harder.
Suddenly, the release happens, and my second orgasm bursts
through me. Its more intense than the first, incredible.
My vision starts to go.
My body feels light and exhausted at the same time.
Ive never felt anything like this.
Im looking him right in the eyes and his powerful gaze is
piercing me, concentrating on me and me alone as he continues
to ram his thick cock into me.
Ryan grunts as he pulls out of me.
My small hand instinctively moves to his cock, but his hand is
already on it, sliding up and down it, from the girthy base to the
massive head. I let my hand fall around his own and move my
arm back and forth with his.
A moment later, his cock erupts, and he comes, shooting his
thick load onto my naked stomach.

I ts afternoon, the next day. The sunlight is streaming into

my kitchen, where Ive just lunched on a steak and a huge
pile of potatoes. I worked out this morning, going beyond my
normal max, so I know Ive got to carbo load and get in my
protein if I want to keep the gains going.
Lily fell asleep right after we fucked, and I drove her back this
morning, to a beat up old house that she shares with a thousand
roommates or something. She was still sleepy in the car ride
back. We kissed and I said we should meet up again today.
Meanwhile, my cock still grows instantly hard at the mere
thought of her.
She was incredible.
Except for a certain innocence about her, I would have never
guessed she was a virgin. She was drawn to me, doing everything
instinctually, sinking her mouth around my cock, for instance.
It wasnt exactly slow like Id promised myself, but it was
fucking hot.
But theres business to take care of today. There are things to
do. I cant be thinking about a woman all day, no matter how
fucking sexy she is, no matter how hard she still makes my cock,
just thinking about her.
I make a few phone calls, making sure that the new office is
ready. Sounds like everything is set up.
I dont bother calling Johnny, the black hat hacker, since Ive
gotten everything I need from him.
I grab another laptop and load up the information I need: the
Simmons algorithm along with the unpublished research paper
that Johnny delivered.
Lily said she was onto something, and not to insult her
intelligence, but Ive been in this game for years, and if she can
find it, then I can too.
But an hour later, and a couple cups of strong coffee later, I
havent found anything that she was talking about. Maybe she
was mistaken.
But maybe shes right. Sometimes it takes another
programmer with a different mentality to find something you
cant. I may be a good programmer, but Im not block headed
enough to think that I can see everything, or find every solution.
Some people are, and thats what gets them into trouble.
I dont regret, however, fucking her, feeling her sweet pussy
gripping my cock as I plunged into her.
My phone rings. Its Sheila, the secretary whos now working
as the de facto office set up person.
Im sorry to bother you, Mr. Hudson, she says, nervous.
Whats up?
Well, I wanted to let you know that weve gotten the office
set up. The crews were here in the morning and the cubicles and
phones and computers and everything were delivered
everythings fine.
I check my watch, turning my wrist slightly.
Sounds good. I paid good money for everything to be set up
as quickly as possible, so that business can go on as normal. I
dont see the point in waiting around while the business
floundersthats money that could be coming in.
The thing is, Mr. Hudson, is that there arent any sales.
Well I say, dumbfounded for a moment. How often do
you expect sales?
I realize now I dont have a good idea of how much were
actually selling or at what frequency.
Usually there are some calls, at least But today, theres
absolutely nothing.
Maybe its just a problem with the phones, I say. Check
everything. Get a couple good people to do some tests and make
sure everyone has our correct contact information Although
that all should be the same.
OK, Mr. Hudson.
I hang up the phone just in time for it to ring again.
This time its Marty.
I groan. I dont need to talk to him right now. Hes just going
to want to tell me about some women he fucked at the beach or
Marty, whats up?
Weve got to talk, Ryan, he says. Can you meet me at
Luginos for lunch?
Ive already eaten.
This is important, Ryan. His voice sounds anxious. I dont
think Ive ever heard him like this before. Theres a rare urgency
in his voice.
I dont have time to listen to you brag about your beach
trip, I say.
Weve got to talk about your business.
Since when do you want to talk about business? I thought
this was just a hobby for you.
Ill admit that well, I do feel a certain responsibility when
things are going well, poorly.
What the hell are you talking about, Marty? Could my
business really be doing that horribly that youre suddenly
concerned about your own reputation?
Basically, says Marty.
Shit, then it must be really bad.
Ill be there in fifteen, I say, hanging up the phone, not
even waiting for a reply.
I drop what Im doing and race over to the restaurant, one of
these fancy lunch places that suits Martys taste. I doubt he
knows of any other types of restaurants.
The waiter takes my order for a water and I pull out my phone
to wait.
A few minutes later, Marty arrives. His suit is rumpled and his
hair is messy and plastered down onto his forehead with sweat.
What the hell happened to you? I say.
Dont worry about that, says Marty. Weve got a big
An image problem or something? What? Did I run over some
old lady and not even notice? You know, I paid her for the
damages, plus a whole lot extra. Shes probably wheeling around
in the Rolls Royce equivalent of a wheelchair.
Marty makes a grimace instead of laughing. No ones buying
your algorithm, he says.
Something clicks The phone call with Sheila earlier. She
was saying there werent any calls coming through, but I figured
it was just something to do with the office wiring or something.
Seriously, says Marty.
But the Simmons algo isnt even out yet. What are they
using in the meantime?
Thats the thing, says Marty. I cant believe you havent
heard. His algorithm is already incorporated into a fully
functioning enterprise system its ready to go boom, just like
What the fuck?
I grab my phone again and hit the standard tech websites.
Theyre not saying anything about it, but that makes sense, since
they tend to just focus on personal gadgetry. But I heard over to
another site, one that focuses more on business tech
and there it is, staring me in the face.
I check this site almost every day, but somehow I must have
missed it.
Simmonss Algorithm Packaged and Ready to Run, reads
the headline.
Fuck, I say. How did they pull this off?
Theres something else, says Marty, handing me his phone.
Theres an article with a picture of me at the top.
The headline reads, Douchebag Billionaire Voted Douchiest
I stop reading and hand the phone back to him.
So? I say.
So? says Marty. This is huge. Its not just this site. Youre
everywhere. Theyve got all this dirt on you from over the years.
Remember that time that you
Yeah, yeah, I say. I get the idea. You dont need to give me
the whole history.
And that time that you fucked that waitress right on the
table in the corner of the restaurant, right before the dinner
I wave away his words with my hand. Thats all ancient
history at this point.
This is a coordinated attack, he says. This is something
theyve been planning. They got all the articles out on the same
day And theyre all up to date and accurate.
Its slander, I say. Lets sue them.
Its not slander if its true, and theyve done their
homework honestly, Im impressed an incredible PR team.
Why do you care so much about this? I say. Its just your
own reputation, right? But when have you cared about that?
Uh, says Marty, pulling at his necktie uncomfortably. Its
damp from his sweat. I may be having a personal financial
Dad cut you off?
Something like that. I dont want to get into details.
All I care about is whether you can get me out of this, I say.
Or Im finding someone new who can handle it properly.
Come on, man, were old friends.
I just stare at him. I need you to seriously do your fucking
job, I say, coldly.
No problem, says Marty, eager to agree with me. Im
already on it. I even made a visit to the office
You actually have an office?
Of course, says Marty, trying to play it cool. But he knows
too damn well that hes been bragging to me about spending all
his time at the beach with models.
I need to work on the coding side of things. Youre going to
have to handle this bullshit PR stuff. I need you to clean up my
image so that my new product can destroy Simmonss.
But do you have a new product?
Dont worry about that, I say.

O h my God! says Hailey in an exaggerated voice. You

fucked him?
Shhh! I say, looking around nervously.
Were in a crowded coffee shop near our apartment.
Dont worry, says Hailey, waving her hand dismissively.
Everyone heres on their laptops.
Its true. Supposedly, coffee shops used to be a place to
socialize. But here, in the modern world, everyones just on their
laptops, with their headphones on.
I think I even saw a guy over there watching porn, says
Eww, I say, making a face.
Dont give me that, says Hailey. Now youre one of us.
Youre one of the initiated. And you can obsess about sex all the
time like the rest of us.
Its not like that I start to say, but Hailey cuts me off.
Oh, says Hailey, her face falling. It wasnt any good? His
cock wasnt you know?
I have to laugh at this. I may be inexperienced, but Ryans
cock was completely massive.
It was
Haileys face is too funny, waiting expectedly for me to say
it Shes hanging on my every word.
It was amazing, I finally conclude, getting some enjoyment
out of her face.
Yeah, I say, lowering my voice. It was really incredible
I had no idea it could feel that way.
You did everything?
I think so, I say.
Her face lights up in surprise.
Oh, I say, realizing she thinks Im talking about anal or
something. Maybe not everything, if you know what I mean
But it was everything for me Im no longer a virgin.
I know Hailey likes to talk about sex a lot, and Ill sometimes
hear her talking about it with her other friends. I know shes
going kind of easy on me, knowing that I might not feel
comfortable discussing exactly everything about the experience.
Well, cheers, says Hailey, raising her coffee mug.
We clink our mugs together and grin at each other.
So now youve just got to find a decent guy, says Hailey. I
dont see you as the type for a bunch of flings Then again, it
might do you some good embracing that side of yourself
until you get a little more experienced, and then you can go after
exactly what it is you like
Well, I say. About that
About what?
Finding another guy
Oh no! says Hailey, her eyes almost popping open in worry.
Youre not falling for him, are you? Really? The douchebag
Oh, I say. No But inside, Im wondering if Im not.
After all Well
I can see it in your eyes, says Hailey. Its already
happened. I should have warned you about this.
About what?
About falling for the first guy you sleep with. You know,
when youre a virgin, it just seems so wonderful, but trust me,
there are better guys out there than the douchebag billionaire.
Didnt you see all those articles about him?
You mean that first one that you showed me?
Oh, you havent seen the new ones then, says Hailey.
She pulls out her phone, taps away for a moment, and then
hands the phone to me.
And thats just one of like ten, she says.
I start reading, just to appease her. But I have to admit, I have
some curiosity of my own. What do I really know about Ryan,
after all? Not a whole lot.
I feel my eyes growing wide as I read. Oh my God! I say,
after half a page. Did he really do that?
The article starts off describing how Ryan Hudson didnt show
up for an important press conference once, so they all started.
There were about a dozen high class business guys there, as well
as a ton of reporters, seated. About halfway through, noises
started coming from behind a curtain, where Ryans
presentation for the press was supposedly set up, in waiting.
There were grunts and squeals and moans, and less than thirty
seconds later, Ryan and a naked woman fell through the
curtain and continued fucking.
Yup, says Hailey.
I get through two of the articles before Ive had enough. They
describe Ryans various sexual exploits, which include more than
a few instances of him having sex in public places. And a host of
other things.
I cant read any more, I say, handing the phone back to
I dont think hes exactly boyfriend material, says Hailey,
apologetic now. But dont worry, well find you a nice guy. Just
let me work my magic.
My own phone rings.
Hey, I say as I pick up. Im conscious of the fact that my
voice becomes somewhat girlish and flirty. It is Ryan Hudson,
after all, the man who made me feel things Ive never felt before.
Is it him? mouths Hailey, motioning for me to hang up the
Hes my boss, remember? I mouth back at her, but Im not
sure how good I am at mouthing, and I dont know if she
We need to work on the algorithm today, he says.
Oh shit!
I cant believe I forgot that I still have a job to go to.
The trauma of the fire, and the huge event of losing my
virginity to Ryan Hudson it pushed everything out of my mind.
Instead of heading into work, I agreed to meet Hailey for coffee.
Are you at the office? I say.
Not yet, he says. Ill meet you there, OK?
OK, I say, not sure if I should tell him Im not there.
My mind is going a thousand miles a minute as I imagine how
I could beat Ryan to the new office. First of all, I dont even know
where it is yet. Id have to use my phone to get there, and Id
have to take a taxi or an Uber. But Ryan has all those fast sports
cars. Theres no way I could beat him there.
You still there? says Ryan.
Actually, I say. This sounds really dumb, but I forgot to go
to work
I have no idea how hes going to react. I hold my breath. He
still is my boss, after all.
Whatever, says Ryan. Just meet me there.
He hangs up and I put the phone down, confused. He didnt
mention last night, or talk to me any differently than before we
had sex.
You forgot to go to work? says Hailey, starting to laugh.
Hey, I say. A lots happened to me in the last 24 hours.
Youd better get going, says Hailey. Dont want to keep
the boss waiting. She winks at me.
It wasnt like that, I say. Actually, he didnt even mention
last night
the douchebag billionaire, says Hailey.
I grab my bag, which has my laptop in it, thankfully, and rush
out the door after saying goodbye to Hailey.
Im trying to hail a cab when I realize that Im just dressed
casually, not in my work clothes. Im wearing a casual sort of
spring dress with flower prints on it. The hemline is certainly
higher than would be considered appropriate for an office,
showing off a good bit of my thigh.
Oh well, theyre just going to have to deal with it.
Plus, I hope Ryan wont mind. Maybe hell even think I look
I imagine him telling me I look hot today, and I imagine it
sending a shiver down my spine as he looks me up and down, his
eyes full of desire like last night.
Id better not keep thinking about this, or Im going to get the
taxi seat soaking wet.

Y oure finally here, I say to Lily, who looks up at me with

kissy eyes.
Sorry, she says.
Dont forget you still work for me, I say coldly.
A few minutes later, were in the conference room, where
Jerry and I have been waiting for her.
OK, I say, standing in front of Jerry and Lily, who are seated
around the conference table with their laptops in front of them.
So we dont need Johnny. Weve had some set backs the
building burning down but the Simmons algorithm is
apparently already ready
Basically were screwed, says Jerry, in a rare display of
Not necessarily, I say. As I always say, fuck them before
they can fuck you. Thats gotten me far in this business.
Why do we even need Jerry here? says a little voice in my
Trust me, though, we need him. An old hand like thatwell,
he might not come up with the newest or most innovative ideas,
but hes going to be perfect for things that Lily and I could easily
Lily may be bright but she lacks the experience that Jerry has
under that stretched belt of his.
Lilys making eyes at me, but I ignore it.
I cant let pleasure get in the way of business. Thats a rule
that I havent always followed. But Ive got to follow it now. Ive
got to fuck over Simmons before he can fuck over me and
everything Ive worked so hard to build.
So, you found something yesterday, Lily? I say.
I speak to her as if shes just my regular employee, and she
looks taken aback for a moment. She probably thinks that Im
doing it because Jerry is here, but thats only a half truth. Even if
I did just fuck her yesterday, taking that sweet virginity from
her, she still is my employee. And shes going to have to work
hard for me, whether she wants to or not. Shes got to know that
Im the boss.
What I say goes.
Uh says Lily. Yeah, I was looking at the algorithm and I
was thinking what I would do if I had been in Simmonss shoes
when he was writing the paper. There was basically only one
path that he didnt take, only one path that he didnt describe.
You mean a reverse stack algorithm sorting subroutine?
says Jerry.
So you actually did read the paper instead of just falling
asleep, I say.
He looks hurt, but he can take it.
Anyway, Im not here to make friends. Im here to fuck over
Simmons by whatever means necessary. Im going to take my
company back.
Yeah, says Lily. And
But it would never work, says Jerry. Thats an antiquated
method the efficiency is terrible All the other types of
subroutines would run circles around it.
Thats what I thought at first, too, says Lily. But then I
started thinking that actually with the rest of the algorithm it
would work really well if you look at the way the rest of the
thing is set up, an old piece of code might actually be more
What shes saying actually makes sense.
Maybe shes smarter than I had initially thought.
Shes wearing a cute little flower dress that shows a good bit
of her thighs.
Im not looking so much at her dress, though.
Shes wearing a pushup bra that makes her tits stand up
perfectly, and I can see a bit of the side of one through her dress.
Thats not something she should be wearing to work.
People might get distracted. People meaning me.
My cock is stiffening in my pants. I cant take my eyes off her,
and now Im not even listening to what she was saying.
I know Ive got my rule not to let pleasure interfere with
business. But fuck is she hot. Her body is calling to me.
And whats the point of being the boss if you cant break your
own rules?
I snap out of my little day dream and notice she and Jerry are
both staring at me. Apparently shes finished talking, and
theyre both waiting for me to say something, to give the orders,
as it were.
All right, I say. Get to work on that, Jerry. Im going to be,
uh working on something else. I want you to run some
simulations. Use my code and plug in this other subroutine and
see what happens. I dont expect it to be perfect but the
benchmark scores will hopefully be good enough to blow
Simmonss out of the water
Thats going to take hours, possibly days, says Jerry. Im
going to need some help with that.
Dont forget who you work for, I say. Just do it.
OK, boss, says Jerry, looking upset and frustrated.
Lily, I say. Come with me. I have an important assignment
for you.
Dont you want me to help Jerry with the algorithm?
That would make the most sense. But fuck, I have needs.
No, I say. Come with me.
I say it like the order that it is.
Leave your laptop here.
I cant take my eyes off her smooth thighs. Theyre just so
fucking perfect.
Shes awakened the beast in me.
My cock is almost fully hard.
Not that I give a shit if anyone sees it.
What do you need help with? says Lily, as I close the door
hard behind her.
I need you, I say. I need your body. Go into the closet there
and wait for me.
The closet? says Lily, surprised.
I nod sternly.
Ill be there in a minute, I say.
She gives me a hesitant look.
Just do it, I say. Youre going to like it. Trust me.
She demurely heads into the closet, closing the door softly
behind her.
With my cock fully hard now, threatening to burst through
my suit pants, I head back into the conference room.
Jerry looks up, waiting for me to give him more orders.
I just head to my laptop case, where I have a pack of condoms
I grab the entire box, and Jerry sees it, but he doesnt say
Special project, I say, before heading back out the door.
I open the closet door in the hallway, step inside, and pull the
door closed behind us.
The lights are on, but theyre not bright. Just little lights that
softly illuminate Lily in front of me.
She looks hesitant, or a little confused.
But now she knows what Im here for.
I push my body against her, pushing my hard cock against her
lower stomach.
I cant wait, I growl at her. I need you.
I thought today was all business, she says.
I shake my head.
This is part of business, I say.
Last night was incredible, she says.
I know, I say. And thats not all. Let me show you some
Theres more?
Her eyes are wide with anticipation and a little fear.
Dont you want me to eat you out? I say. Dont you want
me to lick that tight little wet pussy again?
She nods her head shyly.
The closet is cramped and theres not much room for the two
of us in here. Its already getting hot from our body heat.
Theres nothing else here in the closet with us, since its a
completely new office building, probably recently vacated, given
the price Im paying for it.
Her back is against the wall opposite the door, and I push her
She lets out a moan as I do so, and my hands arent even on
her. Im just pressing my body against her soft, innocent body.
Her breasts press perfectly into me. I look down and can see that
her nipples are pointed and rock hard.
Im sure shes lusciously wet.
I cant wait to taste her.
I get down on my knees and shove my head under her skirt.
She pulls it up for a moment, holding it.
Her panties, a pink pair of plain ones, are completely soaked.
Thats to be expected, though. Who doesnt soak their panties
for me?
With one hand, I yank them down. They fall down around her
slender ankles, hanging over her shoes.
Shes naked and bare, her perfect pussy staring me straight in
the face. Her clit is swollen and red.
I push my head further into her, licking her with broad
strokes. She tastes perfect.
She moans hard now, and I wonder briefly if people in the
office will be able to hear. Then I realize I couldnt give a fuck. I
just want her. I dont care about anything else.
I just fucking need her.
My cock feels like its going to explode out of my pants.
Theres just so much pressure.
I lick her clit, and she practically screams.
Only a minute later, her orgasm crashes through her, and her
whole body shivers and shakes as I keep licking her swollen clit.
She moans loudly.
Your turn, I say.
I take her head in my hands, ready to guide her mouth to my
With one hand on her head, I use my other hand to free my
cock from my pants, letting my belt buckle clank and fall away.
My pants down around my knees, my cock finally free, I suddenly
think better of it.
I need to be inside you, I say.
I want your cock, she moans, her voice practically dripping
with desire.
Tell me you need it, I growl.
Its true, she moans. I need your cock. I fucking need it.
Just put it in.
I put the swollen cock head up against her sweet pussy and
massage it against her swollen clit.
She cries out.
Fuck me!
Only if you really need it, I say.
I need it, she cries, her voice loud and frantic.
A moment later, the condoms on my cock, and I enter her.
Fuck, does she feel good.
Fuck, shes tight.
Yeah, baby, I growl. That feels good. Dont you like it?
Yes! she cries out frantically.
Im fucking her, hard and powerful strokes, slowly.
With each thrust, my hips move up and into her, pushing her
against the wall.
Ive got my hands on her shoulders now, gripping down
around behind them, holding onto her back.
I need more leverage, and I take her whole body and hold her
up against me. She wraps her legs around me, keeping them
locked around my back.
Good girl, I say, and I start to fuck her harder and faster.
Her back is still against the wall, but I can fuck her like crazy
now. And thats exactly what I do.
Oh my God! she cries out, as another orgasm pulses
through her.
Tell me you love it, I growl.
But she cant. She cant even speak. Shes too overwhelmed
with the orgasm that is smashing into her like a thirty foot tall
My cock is pulsing like crazy.
Thats good, I growl.
I put her down, taking my cock out of her.
I can see her face drain as she realizes my cock isnt in her.
Shes looking frantic, so eager for my cock that shes ready to
grab it and stuff it back into her.
But the orgasm distracts her.
I tear the condom off with a single motion, and grip my cock
in one hand, hard.
She senses what Im going to do, and shes dying for my cock,
so she gets down on her knees, kneeling before me.
I tower over her, my cock above her head.
She cranes her neck so that shes looking up at my monster
With my other hand, I reach down, bending my legs slightly,
to shove two fingers inside her pussy.
She grunts as I do so, but her focus is on my cock.
She looks impossibly sexy in her dress, kneeling down, the
look of eagerness impossible to miss on her face.
Her tongue makes contact with the thick bottom of my girthy
cock. My fist is around the base, gripping tightly.
My cock explodes, the pleasure overwhelming me.
I let out a low growl as I shoot my hot load all over her. It feels
so fucking good.
Youre mine now, I growl at her.
She nods her head as she stares up at me, her eyes wide,
innocent and full of desire.

S ee you in the conference room, he says, heading out the

Wow, that was incredible.
I never thought sex could be like that. So fast, but yet so hot
and intense, so carnal.
I try my best to straighten my hair and my dress, and do a
little bit of cleanup with some wipes I have in my handbag,
which thankfully, I thought to bring with me.
I also pick up Ryans condom and condom wrapper from the
floor and stuff it into my handbag. Im sure he wouldnt care if
someone found it, but that doesnt mean I dont.
Before I head back into the conference room, I need to clear
my head, so I go into the ladies room, which is strangely empty.
Oh, I remember, its a completely new office.
But still, theres a couch here, and I sit down on it for a
moment, after making sure I look OK in the mirror.
Haileys going to kill me.
She was worried Im falling for the douchebag billionaire, and
I think I am. Worse, I fucked him again.
But thats the kind of stuff Hailey does all the time. Shes
always complaining to me about a boy, and then she doesnt
come home the next night, and I find out later shes slept with
him again.
Ive seen the guys that Hailey hooks up withtheyre
nothing like Ryan. Ryans a man, with commanding muscles,
presence, not to mention his cock
I could dream about his cock for hours.
I never understood what all the fuss was about, honestly,
when Hailey used to go on and on about a guys cock, keeping the
descriptions supposedly light for me since I was still
inexperienced still a virgin.
But now I get it. I get it like nothing else Ive ever gotten. Its
just this primal attraction, this primal need I have for Ryans
massive, girthy cock, which always seems to be rock hard, always
ready to penetrate me.
I sort of slept with him again, I write to Hailey in a text
message. Im not even sure why Im writing it, since I probably
already know how shes going to respond with admonishments.
But I just have to tell someone.
Are you serious? she writes back.
I pause for a moment, wondering what to write.
But while I do, another text message pops up. So how was
Intense. Awesome.
Maybe that sounds cheesy, but I just dont have the
vocabulary to describe what happened.
I put my phone away, check my hair and dress again in the
mirror, and go back into the conference room.
Jerry raises an eyebrow as I enter, but doesnt say anything.
Finally decided to join us, says Ryan, his voice cold. But his
eyes still burn with lust for me.
Seriously? Hes going to talk to me like that after what we just
I dont say anything. I dont even know what to say, but my
face burns with embarrassment.
At least hes not the type to kiss and tell, or at least it doesnt
seem like it. I dont even know if he has any friends. Hes simply
too much for someone to handle in that sense. Could Jerry be his
friend? Not in a thousand years. They might work well together,
but Ryans always going to be the boss, no matter what the
situation is.
Jerrys started on the simulations, says Ryan. The three of
us are going to have to hunker down and bang this thing out
Today? I say. Thats going to take a week at minimum. I
may be a novice in the world of corporate programming, but
even I know that much.
Thats what Ive been trying to tell him, says Jerry.
I bet it took Simmons at least a month, I say.
The Sisyphus Algorithm is going to destroy the Simmons
Algorithm, or the Zen Algorithm, or whatever the hell its
called, says Ryan simply. But his voice has power behind it. Its
unquestionable, and authoritative. Were going to do whatever
it takes, even if it means staying here all night.
Theres obviously no room for discussion or argument.
So the three of us hunker down over our laptops.
The only conversation we have is our brief comments about
who should work on what.
I take a deep breath, trying to keep my mind focused on
programming. Its hard to concentrate. After all, a lot just
happened. I should be furious with Ryan, after all, for the way he
just talked to me. But I cant even think about that. Soon, Im
breathing heavily, and its not because Im upset, its because
Im turned on again, just thinking about what Ryan did to me in
that closet. I need more.
Who would have guessed that the innocent twenty-one year
old virgin would turn out to have such an insatiable appetite for
the billionaires throbbing cock?
OK, I tell myself. Get your head in the game. This is the
opportunity of a lifetime for a coder to work on this Sisyphus
Algorithm, to improve it
I finally manage to focus on the code, with only occasional
glances over at Ryan, whos transfixed by his laptop, pounding
away at the keys with rapidly moving fingers.
Hes not like any coder Ive ever seen.
His body is massive, athletic, and he stands at least a head
taller than anyone else in any room. His body screams power and
OK, programming, I tell myself, practically screaming the
word in my head. Programming, programing, programming. I
say this over and over again to myself, like a mantra.
It works.
Im in the code now, doing things I never imagined Id be
Im way over my head, way over my skill set.
This stuff is complicated. Were doing stuff that researchers
at top universities never dreamed could be done.
And its just the three of us.
Hey, I guess this is kind of like what I wanted, after all? This
may be corporate, but its much more like a little group of
hackers banging out some serious code.
My phone buzzes in my bag, and its another message from
Just be careful, she says. She includes a link to another
article about the famous douchebag billionaire.
I scan the headline. It says something about Ryan Hudson
being arrested naked with a woman.
Whats that youve got there? comes Ryans deep voice.
Oh, I say. Nothing. Just a text from my friend.
He holds out his hand.
As your boss, I should see whats keeping you from your
I sigh, and grow red in the face again.
Whatever, I say.
Jerry raises another eyebrow, but doesnt say anything. He
just bows his head down and pours his fingers into his laptop
To my surprise, Ryan starts chuckling when he reads the
All true, he says, handing the phone back to me. They
certainly did their homework, whatever PR company is behind
Ryan nods. Of course, he says.
but not anymore? Im not sure how to phrase this
question, and it comes out awkward and stilted.
I mean, sure, I know hes been with a lot of women in the
past but am I the only one, now?
Youre already wondering if youre the only one, he says,
his eyes twinkling, like hes making fun of me.
I dont say anything.
I dont need anyone else, he says simply.
So hes not seeing anyone else, but its not exactly like hes
committing to me.
Is the douchebag billionaire even capable of doing that?
I suddenly realize that our relationship is out in the open in
front of Jerry, but he knows enough not to even look up.
Whatever, Im sure it was pretty obvious when the two of us
disappeared to fuck in the closet in the hallway.
The hours go by, and my fingers start to feel weary from
banging away at the keyboard. Ive never learned how to type
properly, letting my fingers drift over the keys the way some
coders do. Instead, I tend to bang on the keyboard hard, making
each press of the key really count.
Time for food, says Ryan, pulling out his phone, not even
asking us if were hungry.
My wifes going to kill me if I eat another meal here, says
You didnt eat her cooking?
Thats the problem, says Jerry, patting his stomach. I ate
two dinners instead of one.
Ryan ignores him and makes the call anyway.
He starts speaking in Spanish, and Jerry looks confused for a
The best pizza in San Francisco, I whisper to him, talking
under Ryans loud and slangy Spanish.
I was pretty good at Spanish in high school, but Ryans
talking like a native, with plenty of slangy curse words thrown in
for good measure.
A little reminder of last night, says Ryan, smirking at me,
as he hangs up the phone.
Jerry doesnt comment, except to say, pizza sounds good.
The pizza arrives, and Ryan again tips generously, almost
Now were acting like real programmers, says Jerry, his
mouth full of pizza, as he cracks open another energy drink.
This time Im not telling my wife.
I dont think youll be seeing her tonight, says Ryan. Its
going to be a long night.
Sure enough, when I went to go buy the energy drinks from
the vending machine, which was apparently recently installed,
since it still had warning stickers all over it, the rest of the office
had all gone home for the night, and the lights were already off.
Jerry knows enough not to argue. His now-greasy pizza
fingers just start tapping away at the keys again.
I think were really onto something, I say. I mean, I cant
even compile my part yet
Weve got a lot to do, says Ryan. But show me what you
have already.
He takes my laptop from me before I can push it across the
table to him.
He moves his swivel chair over towards me, so that he doesnt
have to rearrange where his own laptop is. In this new position,
he presses his thigh quite obviously against mine.
My pulse starts to grow rapid. Just at the slightest touch of his
body, I quiver
Hmm, says Ryan, looking over my code. Not bad Not
Whats wrong with it? I say, immediately growing a little
It might work, is all Ryan says.
Damn, hes harsh.
By the time midnight rolls around, we think weve made
some serious progress.
But its tough going, and its hard to know what weve
actually managed to do.
Basically, all this work requires hours and hours of coding on
the mere hope that my idea could work. But we wont have any
idea if it works until we can compile the program and actually
run it. And we cant compile it or run it the way it is. Its
essentially nothing more than a bunch of little scattered pieces.
Weve taken apart Ryans original Sisyphus algorithm, and were
trying to patch it with little pieces, the way you would add beer
cans to a muffler. The code is kind of messy, but hopefully its
going to work.
Im sorry guys, says Jerry, standing up, as his phone rings
for the fifth time tonight. But I really have to get going.
Do what you got to do, says Ryan, apparently disinterested
All right, says Jerry. Goodnight, guys.
Goodnight, Jerry, I say.
Ryan doesnt say anything. Hes transfixed by his laptop.
I check the time on my cell phone.
I turned it on silent the last time I put it away, and theres
another message from Hailey.
Where the hell are you? she wrote. Another night with the
douchebag billionaire? Or just working late? Come home and tell
me your latest adventure. Youre getting more action than me.
Im too tired to even write back, and I vaguely realize that this
means Im too tired to write code properly.
A minute later, I suddenly wake up with a jerk. I fell asleep
without realizing it.
What happened? I say.
You fell asleep, says Ryan. Youre too tired to code any
longer. Go home.
Wheres the sweetness in his voice that I imagined wed share
together? Where are the little inside jokes and wheres the
Am I just another one of his women, just another notch on
the bedpost? Hes going to take what he wants from me and
discard me like all the rest?
I suppose thats what I wanted, in a way, since I just wanted
some hot guy to take my virginity so I could move on. But now
that Ive had sex with him, I realize I want something more. I
know theres something else hiding inside his hard shell I just
dont know how to get to it.
Could we talk? I suggest in my softest voice.
Talk? About what? He barely looks up from his computer as
he speaks to me.
Never mind, I say, realizing that hes not going to be
present with me no matter what. Hes completely focused on his
code, on his business. Im just something secondary to him It
shouldnt have taken me this long to realize this.
Im going home, I say.
Be here early tomorrow, is all he says, still not looking up.
What a prick, I think to myself, as I gather up my things and
head out the door.
But hes fucking hot The sex we had today was one of the
most incredible experiences of my life. Like, seriously, it was
that good.
At least we made some progress on the code, I think to
But then I realize that all the credit is going to go to the
douchebag billionaire. Im just another employee to him sure,
one he likes to fuck and finds hot, but still just another
My minds in turmoil as I enter the parking lot.
But was I really expecting some kind of emotional
commitment from the douchebag billionaire?
Maybe not, but at least I was expecting something.
I get that he gets absorbed in his work, but this is simply too
Fuck! I just realized its past midnight, and the buses arent
going to be running.
I dont even know what the bus lines are like out here.
I check my phone quickly, trying to figure it out after all,
maybe theres a bus that runs late or something to this area.
But I cant for the life of me figure out the San Francisco
transit page. The organization doesnt make any sense. Now I
remember that it took me almost a week of planning to figure
out how to get to the old office, and it still wasnt convenient.
Theres a PDF file that I cant download.
Well, now I can download it, but my phone wont open it, and
theres probably no wi-fi out here for my laptop to pick up.
Here I am, supposedly a programmer, and I cant figure out
this simple tech thing.
Im so overwhelmed, I almost feel like Im going to cry, but I
fight back the tears with all my force. If Ryan comes out here,
Im not going to let him see me crying.
The logical thing to do would be to go back inside and ask
Ryan for a ride, but theres no way in hell Im going to do that.
The more I think about it, the more it bothers me that he just
basically ignored me after that hot session in the closet. I mean,
who does that?
The answer is as clear as day: the douchebag billionaire, thats
Even though I dont have a ton of money in the bank right
now, since Im still waiting for my first check, I break down and
order an Uber.
My eyes are starting to well up with tears of exhaustion by the
time the car arrives.

I ts not like Im clueless. You cant do well in this business,

after all, unless youre highly perceptive. Its not enough to
just write a killer program. You have to be able to read people,
and you have to take charge.
I know Lilys upset, but she just doesnt understand that this
business means everything to me. Its not just my money thats
at stake, its my reputation.
She should understand that.
You cant know me without understanding that about me.
Honestly, it makes me a little angry.
And its not like I can go chase her down tonight, running out
to the parking lot. After all, theres code that has to be written,
and she and Jerry are going to be at home sleeping while Ill be
doing all the real work.
Its far too late in the project to call in some hired help. Ive
got plenty of good programmers for hire in my contacts list, guys
who are essentially on call, and who can bang out damn good
code in a short period of time. But theyre not familiar at all with
what were doing here. Id have to explain the whole thing to
them, starting from Lilys original hypothesis, and the three of
us have come so far since then in our theory that it would take
hours to explain everything to them.
I crack open another energy drink and keep my eyes on the
code. Ive got to keep my head clear.
But my cock twitches as my thoughts go back to Lily
The night goes on, and I try not to think about her.
Its not like shes running away, right?
The coding is getting tricky, and now I have to incorporate
Jerry and Lilys code into mine.
Three oclock rolls around and I hardly notice it. Four oclock
hits, and I feel a little tired, but not by too much.
Im totally absorbed in the code.
Im so close, but theres something missing The
programming is getting more and more tedious now. The
innovation already happened, and I just have to do the brick
laying to get things up and running.
But Im so damn close.
A light flashes in my peripheral vision. I look up for the first
time in hours, my vision fuzzy from staring at the computer
screen for so long, and I see that a janitor has arrived to start the
morning cleaning before the workers come in.
Hey, he says gruffly, dragging a vacuum unenthusiastically
behind him.
I nod at him and go back to coding.
About an hour later, the workers start to show up. I dont
know most of them, but I recognize Sheila.
Jerry arrives looking sleepy, and I nod at him. He sits there
waiting for me to tell him what to do, since by now hes hours
behind on the project.
But theres really not much for him to do. Im so close to
running the program, so close to hitting compile.
Anything I can help with? says Jerry, taking a sip from his
coffee mug.
Is Lily here yet?
I havent seen her.
I go back to typing away.
Im hitting compile, I suddenly say.
Jerry gets up excitedly and comes to stand behind me, anxious
to see if the thing runs.
It compiles.
No errors.
Nice, says Jerry.
Now we just have to feed it some data and see how the
benchmark scores are.
Im sure its going to do well, says Jerry.
It better, I say.
Another hour goes by as Jerry helps me set up a test run.
Were using the same benchmark system that Simmons used.
This will tell us whether my new updated algorithm is worse, as
good, or better than the Simmons algorithm.
Theres still no sign of Lily, but I shrug it off.
OK, says Jerry. Looks like were ready.
Weve got the program running on a remote server that I rent
by the year. Its a powerful set of computers that can really
crunch data.
The algorithm isnt something that can run well on a laptop,
which is very underpowered.
Its running, says Jerry, monitoring the process from his
Im staring at my screen. My mental fingers are crossed.
Im holding my breath.
My mind briefly flashes to Lily, and my cock stiffens again.
Even though Im on no sleep, Id fuck her hard and fast if she
was here right now.
But shes not.
I wonder what happened to her? Shes not one to miss
running the algorithm for the first time. After all, it was her idea
that led to this new development. Im sure shes anxious to see
how well it works, since she seems to be so into programming.
Shit, says Jerry.
My attention snaps back to my computer screen.
The test isnt over, but the preliminary benchmark scores are
already coming in, and theyre not good.
Theyre a little faster than my old algorithm, but theyre
nothing compared to what Simmons has accomplished.
Fuck, I say.
Maybe theres just something that needs tweaking, says
Jerry meekly.
I shake my head. I set up everything perfectly, I say. Fuck
it, Im going home.
I leave Jerry looking worried and confused. But he doesnt
have nearly as much at stake on this as I do. After all, its my
So this means that Simmonss algorithm is still faster than
mine, and everyones going to buy his. His will be the new
enterprise business standard.
On the way home, my eyes are bleary, but Im fine to drive.
Grabbing my phone, I give Lily a call, but she doesnt pick up.
I dont leave a voicemail.
Instead, I head home, but its always been hard for me to
sleep when the suns up. I feel like Im not being productive.
So instead of heading right to bed, I decide to do a lifting
My muscles ache with fatigue as I arrange the weights,
getting ready. I do it still wearing my business clothes, so its
time for me to change.
I switch quickly into a pair of gym shorts. I dont bother
putting on a shirt.
Its not until Im already wearing them that I smell it. More
like I smell her.
These are the shorts I lent Lily, the first night that we fucked.
I can smell her delicious scent coming up from my own shorts. It
sends my cock rocketing out, swelling with blood.
Ive got to push on through, though. Ive got to do something
I lay down on the bench press bench, arranging myself so that
the bar is right above my eyes, right where it should be. I grip my
hands around the cold textured steel and push, lifting the weight
off the rack where it rests.
Fuck, I cant believe the Simmonss algorithm is better than
But it just cant be true. Theres just no fucking way. I know
Im better at algorithms than just about anyone. Im a better
Theres got to be some trick to this.
Theres got to be something strange going on.
Could Simmons possibly be manipulating his benchmark
speed scores?
The weight feels heavier than usual because Im on no sleep,
and it threatens to crash down on my chest for a moment, but I
push through it, using all my strength to do ten reps.
When I slam the bar back on the stand, panting from
exertion, my cock is still hard and sticking straight up, making a
tent in my gym shorts. My cock is straining against the thin
fabric, the very spot where her sweet pussy was.
I cant concentrate on lifting with images of her flashing in
my mind her breasts, her perfect curves, the feeling of her
pressed against my soft body.
I pull my cock out of my shorts, letting the elastic waist band
fall down to the thick base of my cock.
Gripping my cock in my fist, I slide my hand up and down my
I concentrate on what Lily looked like when I was entering
her, making her face contort in ecstasy.

B ut thats crazy, says Hailey. You cant just quit your job
like that.
What the hell am I supposed to do? I say.
My eyes feel tired and strained. Its been a long day of self-
debate and self-criticism, a ton of emotional confusion.
Welcome to the world of the non-virgins, says Hailey,
sighing. Sex just makes everything so much more complicated,
doesnt it?
I nod my head.
Shes right. Shes totally right. Maybe I never should have had
sex with Ryan. Id be better off, in a way.
But then again, if I could go back and do it all over again, Id
do exactly the same thing. It was just too hot to pass up, even if I
could time travel like in one of those silly movies.
Ive spent the entire day debating about whether or not I
should go in to work.
I ended up debating the whole day and not going at all. Thats
why Im sitting here with Hailey now. Shes got the day off from
her job, which is good because shes really starting to hate it
with a passion. These last few days, a series of horrible things
have happened to her at work. One customer even threw a bowl
of cold soup in her face, while yelling at her about the
temperatureIf its not hot enough to burn your face, its not
hot enough to drink. What a freak. I mean, who does that?
But also, who just stops going to work? I basically just started
the job, and its not my dream job but its becoming my dream
job. Im working on exciting new programming projects, and Im
just dying to know if my idea worked and was as good or better
than the Simmons algorithm.
Were sitting on a bench at a park near our house. There are
sounds of children playing from far away, but theyre out of our
field of vision.
An old man is sitting on the bench opposite us, and he keeps
drifting in and out of sleep. Theres even drool hanging out of his
mouth, getting tangled up in his long white beard. Even in his
sleep, hes still clutching a cup that says, Hungry. Please help.
I get up and put a five dollar bill in it. He doesnt wake up.
Whyd you do that? hisses Hailey at me.
I shrug. Feeling guilty, I guess.
Guilty? Lily, come on. What are you going to do? You dont
have time to feel guilty, and I dont even understand that
I got what I wanted, I say. I had the interesting job the
cool programming project, the super hot billionaire who loved
fucking me
Dont be so hard on yourself, says Hailey.
She says that, but shes also been admonishing me about my
decision. So thats not a huge help.
But what am I going to do? I say. Im completely
overwhelmed, completely confused. My pulse feels much faster
than it normally is, which I dont think is a good sign.
You cant keep fucking him, says Hailey. I know this isnt
much help. But did you really think the douchebag billionaire
was going to be emotionally available? After all the stories that I
sent you? After everything you had heard about him?
I shrug. I just didnt think hed be so cold and right after
sex, too.
Some guys are just douchebags, says Hailey.
I know, I know, I say.
Listen, says Hailey. You dont have to fuck him to work
there He didnt even know you were his employee. Why dont
you just go back to work? Make up some excuse about how your
dog was sick or something or better yet, use me as an excuse.
Tell them they can phone me and Ill tell them I had to go to the
hospital for appendicitis or something good like that
I cant just show back up, I say.
Sure you can. Or tell them you went to the old office or
something. Just play up the airhead thing
I shrug. Maybe it would work. But I just cant work with him.
I just cant do it. Not after the way he was ignoring me. I cant be
anywhere near him.
So what are you going to do for work?
Maybe Ill go back home and work at the furniture store.
You cant do that, says Hailey, her eyes widening. You just
I shrug. Im feeling despondent and apathetic. Itd be easy,
I say. Trust me, I know all there is to know about furniture. I
grew up with it.
But this is your dream, says Hailey. Youre a good
programmer. I mean, you were the one who came up with the
idea on how to imitate this other algo thingy that youre talking
I dont even know if it works.
My phone beeps at me.
This better not be Ryan calling me again. Ive lost interest
in fiddling with the phone settings because of my depression,
and for right now the text messages and calls make exactly the
same sounds.
Just pick up and tell him its over between you two, but
youre still going to work
Im not going back there, I say. Im just not
Just pick it up!
I finally grab my phone, and realize upon looking at the
screen that its a text message rather than a phone call.
It didnt work, says the text message. Its from Ryan, of
Shit, I say.
What is it?
The algorithm didnt work.
Hailey shrugs. What does that mean?
It means Ryans company is screwed. No ones going to buy
something thats not as good as the new one, which is like a
thousand times better.
Well screw him, says Hailey. Hes a douchebag,
remember? Remember the way he treated you?
Yeah but I thought my idea would work.
Doesnt mean youre a bad programmer, says Hailey.
I think it does, I say. I hardly have any experience, and the
one thing I tried on a real project didnt work at all.
Doesnt beat Simmonss algo, says another text message
that comes from Ryan.
Hes not even asking about me, I say. Why Im not at
This algo thingy is just way more important to him, says
Hailey. Dont take it personally Youre hot, trust me. Youll
find someone new in no time.
She actually starts turning her head to look around, as if shes
trying to find someone for me.
I laugh at this.
What? says Hailey.
Youre not going to find anyone for me at the park
Well then, I just might find someone for myself. Hey, why
dont we find a pair of hot guys and just flirt like crazy with
them. Theyre bound to want to get some action. You know how
guys are.
I dont think I do, I say sadly. But Im starting to
You just need some more cock, says Hailey. You just need
to see that this Ryan guy isnt the best guy ever.
But he is. Thats the thing. Ive never even seen anyone as hot
as he is, not in magazines, TV, or the movies. And even without
experience, I know that no ones going to fuck me like he can.
Come on, says Hailey, standing up and tugging on my arm.
Im not in the mood, I say.
Hailey sighs and sits down again on the bench.
What am I going to do with you? she says.
My phone beeps again. Another text from Ryan.
Where are you? he writes.
I pause for a moment, hesitating.
Either dont write him, or tell him to fuck off, says Hailey.
But part of me longs for him still I dont think I can just do
it like that. Im not like Hailey. And Haileys never been with
anyone like Ryan Hudson. Not that there is anyone like him.
Im going to go to the bathroom, I say, pointing to a little
structure that houses the park bathrooms.
Dont write him anything stupid, Hailey calls out after me
as I walk towards it.
In the bathroom, I stand there, locking the door behind me
with a deadbolt that slides roughly. The toilet is disgusting and
Im certainly not going to sit on it, let alone stand anywhere near
it, so I stay by the door where the sink is.
Im quitting, I write back to Ryan, in a sudden flurry of my
OK, says his text message. Meet me at my place. I need
your pussy.
Despite my feelings for him, it makes me blush.
But what fucking nerve!
Who the hell writes something like that?
You dont even care why Im quitting? I write back quickly.
Too quickly. I let my emotions take over without thinking clearly
about what Im writing.
Im starting to sweat from anxiety, even though its not hot
today, just a comfortable cool that now feels chilly to me. The
bathroom is horribly drafty and the smell is starting to get to
I figure youve got your reasons, writes Ryan. Are you
coming over or not?
And if I dont? Youre just going to call someone else?
Theres no text for a long moment.
I take the opportunity to write back.
If you dont even care about me, then forget it, I write.
Were over.
Fuck him.
He doesnt give a shit about me.
My face is flushing with anger as I jam open the deadbolt,
pulling the door with too much force, causing it to slam into the
bathroom wall.
I stomp back across the park to Hailey.
What happened? she says, upon seeing my face.
I told him its over, I say. I just cant do it. Theres just no
way a guy like that

M y cock is hard even as I get the last text from her. I wasnt
expecting this.
What woman doesnt want me? What woman is going to pass
up the opportunity to come over to my house and fuck me, riding
my cock until she comes spectacularly?
Famous models and celebrities wouldnt pass up the
opportunity. And now this little post-virgin novice coder thinks
she can deny me?
It makes me angry.
But it only lasts for a moment.
I suddenly realize shes not like the others. Shes nothing like
the others.
And I fucking need her.
My cock is still raging hard at the thought of fucking her as I
slam my car door.
Im going to show her that I need her. Im going to show her
that she wants me. I know she does.
Grabbing my cell phone, I pull up an app thats under
development. Its one of Johnnys little hacking projects, and I
doubt its ever going to be legally available to the general public.
What it does is trace the location of the person youve been
texting with. Not exactly legal, but what do I care right now? I
need to see her, no matter what I have to do.
Shes at Buena Vista Park, which is near another park called
the Panhandle, which is shaped like a long, thin cock.
Peeling out onto the street, I shift gears and jam my foot onto
the accelerator.
The engines revs go wild, shooting up into the red zone.
I dont care if I burn the cars engine, or have to outrun a
dozen cop cars, Im going to get to her.
Blasting through a red light, I completely floor it. For a car
this powerful, thats really saying something.
My cock is still raging hard in my pants, and I cant get the
image of her pussy out of my mind.
I pull up to the park only a few minutes later. I dont bother
parking the car properly. Instead, I just pull up onto the curb and
leave the car there, half on the grass and half on the street. Its
not great for the car, but who the fuck cares? Ive got a ton of
The semi-legal app from Johnny doesnt give very specific
information, so I just start running through the park, turning my
head to look for her.
Thats her!
I spot her, sitting sadly and forlornly on a park bench.
Theres a homeless guy on the opposite bench, who looks like
hes fallen asleep.
Lilys wearing just a sweatshirt and tight athletic pants, but
she looks as hot as ever. Her hair is done up, showing off her
face, the way her neck runs up
Shes sitting next to someone about her age. Maybe its her
friend who was at the bar with her, that night that I picked her
up? Im not sure.
Lily, I say, running up to her.
This has got to be a new record for methe douchebag
billionaire never runs after chicks. Never.
Hi, she says, barely looking at me.
Her friend doesnt say anything, but she cant stop staring at
me. Shes looking at me with her mouth open. I guess she didnt
get a good look at me at the bar the other night, and now shes
impressed. But Ive got no interest in her, or anyone else, for
that matter.
Come with me, I say to Lily.
Why? she says, not meeting my gaze. I told you, its over.
Im not going to be your fuck toy any longer.
Her friend leans over and whispers something in Lilys ear.
No! says Lily, speaking at full volume. Im not
reconsidering, no matter how hot he is!
She suddenly realizes I can hear herit happens sometimes
when people are very emotional.
They both blush.
I dont give a shit, though.
Hell, I know they think Im hot.
Come with me, I say.
Ill be right back, says the friend. Sounds like you two
have some things you need to talk about.
Dont go, says Lily.
Im just going to take a walk. And she mouths very
obviously, Hes hot! at Lily.
The friend walks away.
Why do you want me to come with you? says Lily.
I need to feel your tight pussy again, I say. I need to sink
my cock deep inside you. I can show you more pleasure than you
can imagine. We havent even gotten started.
I can see that this has a physical effect on her, but
Is that all you care about? says Lily. What about how you
didnt even speak to me after you fucked me in the closet? How
about that?
Whats there to talk about? I say.
Typical, says Lily, crossing her arms. You dont even know
what Im talking about. You really are the douchebag
Fine, I say, growing angry. Im leaving You know, maybe
I am the douchebag billionaire. But at least I know what I want,
and I admit it. I know you know you want me. You just dont
admit it to yourself.
I turn and start walking away. Its not like Im going to stay
and beg her.
I just dont do that.
She either comes with me or she doesnt.
By the way, says Lily. Im quitting, boss. She says the
last word with scorn.
But I dont turn around.
I head back to my car, which has been towed.
Theres a big torn up spot on the grass where I left it parked.
Theres a ticket from the city taped to a nearby sign, which gives
me the number to call if I want to pick up the car, paying a hefty
fine, of course.
Whatever, I dont even need that car. I doubt Ill bother going
through the lengthy headache of getting it back. If the mood
strikes me, maybe Ill pay someone to do it for me.
Im reaching into my pocket for my phone, about to call an
Uber, when my phone rings.
Its Johnny.
Didnt expect to hear from you, Johnny, I say. You ran off
as soon as things got a little ugly. It was just a little fire. You sure
scare easy.
Ive got to be careful when any authority figures are bound
to show up, says Johnny. Sorry, Ryan.
I dont say anything.
Listen, says Johnny. Ive got some information that might
interest you. We cant talk about it over the phone.
Of course, I say. Always the same old Johnny.
Where are you?
Im at uh Buena Vista Park, you know, the one by Haight
The one thats shaped like a giant cock?
No, the other one.
Im nearby. Ill be right there.
Dont be late. Im not going to wait around for you, I say.
Ill be right there, Ryan, says Johnny. But
I hang up the phone before he can keep speaking. Hes
testing my patience with all this secretive stuff. The last thing he
brought me wasnt any good I doubt this one is going to be
But theres not a whole lot else to go on.
The Simmons Algo is going to overtake mine.
The Sisyphus Algorithm will be no more.
Ive lost it.
And Ive lost her.
A sporty black car catches my attention by skidding around
the corner.
Its lowered, the bottom almost scraping the pavement, and
smoke billows out of one of the windows. The windows are
tinted, but theres no doubt in my mind that its Johnny.
I get in.
I didnt even know you could drive, I say, waving the smoke
out of my face. It actually turns out to be vapor.
Johnnys got one of those fancy vaporizers, and judging from
the smell, its weed rather than tobacco that hes vaping.
Cant you cut that shit out? I say, gesturing to the
Sorry, he says, putting it down. It helps me think.
I let out a little rumble of a laugh, expressing my skepticism.
I dont know how well youve been thinking lately, I say.
You didnt do me much good with that Simmons report. I know
Ive got good enough security that youre not tapped into my
systems, so here it is Lily, uh, one of my employees, came up
with a solution based on what Simmons might have done, and it
didnt work. And I just cant see any other options, any other
way that he might have done things.
Johnny turns the car hard.
Do you always drive this badly? I say. Or just when youre
Johnny just shrugs and lights a cigarette.
Sorry, he says. Hey, you having woman problems by any
What the hell does that mean? I say.
I dunno, he says. You dont seem like the type to get all
tied up in knots over a chick, but there was something going
between you and that programmer chick, wasnt there? You
know, the smoking hot one?
I dont answer him. Tell me what youve got, I say. Your
driving sucks. Either drop me off at my house or tell me whats
going on. I dont think I can take much more of this. What kind
of junker is this that youre driving, anyway?
Custom job, says Johnny. Got it in a trade for some
Remember, I say. You still owe me big time. Your debts
not paid off. I got you off the
Yeah, yeah, says Johnny. Listen, you helped me out big
time, and thats why Im going to give you a little piece of gold.
This had better be good.
We pull up to a stop light. The San Francisco sun looks weak
through Johnnys obviously illegally tinted windows.
I can barely see whats going on outside this rust heap of
yours, I say.
Hey, says Johnny, finally sounding offended. This aint no
rust heap.
Let me give you a piece of advice, I say. Start dressing
better, and get yourself a decent car. I know youve got the
money. Or at least you should have some.
Whats wrong with the way I dress?
All black? Come on? You want to be a hacker clich or
Johnny pouts for a moment.
Come on, I say. Tell me what this so-called golden news
OK, says Johnny, looking around shiftily as if someone else
is bound to pop up from behind the back seat or something.
Ive got good reason to believe Simmons faked the benchmark
I dont say anything for a moment. If this is true, its big
news. It would mean that my Sisyphus Algorithm is still the
best, that no one can beat it.
Supposing that were true, I say. How would he fake it in
the published tests? I mean, its one thing to fake it on his own
servers but those tests were run by that tech magazine,
whatever its called
Trust me, says Johnny. Its probably true.
Doesnt sound that convincing, I say. Maybe youre just
telling me what I want to hear. The more I interact with you,
Johnny, the less I trust you.
See for yourself, says Johnny, reaching into one of his filthy
pockets and handing me a small USB drive.

E verything is just so damn fucked

I cant get out of this funk.
Days have gone by, and Ive officially given my notification, or
whatever you want to call it to Ryan, so no matter what Hailey
tries to tell me I cant go back to the office.
I still cant get over how she reacted when he showed up in
the park. I guess seeing him again in person was just too much
for her or something. She wanted me to go after him even after
he had walked away. She was just standing around the corner,
and she rushed back, telling me he was too hot to give up, and
that Id never find another guy that hot in a thousand years.
Yeah, real helpful.
And now Ive got no job whatsoever, and I havent talked to
my parents in a month.
Im sure theyd welcome me back to the East Coast, and Id
have a secure place in the family furniture store business.
Look, I dont have anything against furniture per se.
Its just not what I want to be doing.
But I cant seem to even get myself to apply for any more
jobs. Its not like there arent a zillion highly qualified
programmers already in San Fran, ready to take any job that I
would apply for programmers with much more experience
than me. What can I put on my resume now? That I couldnt hack
it as Ryans company? That Ive had one good programming idea
(which was just how to copy another programmer) and it didnt
even work?
I cant stop thinking about Ryan.
No matter what I try to do, I just cant stop it.
I keep thinking about the two times we had sex It was so
incredible, and its never going to happen again. Not if I can help
I may be insanely drawn to his body, his rippling muscles, his
huge, girthy cock, but I just cant get over what a dick he is.
I mean, sure, theres also that commanding presence he
has that doesnt help strengthen my resolution to stay as far
away from him as possible.
He hasnt even tried calling. He hasnt contacted me at all,
and I havent sent so much as a single text message his way, no
matter what Hailey tries to tell me. Its still amazing how much
she can flip flop, which is even more disheartening, given that
shes my best friend in the whole world.
How would I have liked things to go? I wish he would have
told me that he cared about me, but obviously thats not going to
happen. I wish he would have said that he feels differently about
me than any other woman hes ever met.
But I guess thats all just a fantasy.
I thought there was something underneath that hot (yet
emotionally cold) exterior, that billionaire shell, that gorgeous
body but I guess thats just wishful thinking.
Im nothing more than another notch in his bed post.
I just cant live with that.
Finally, after a week of moping around, avoiding Hailey, not
to mention the rest of my roommates, who seem to have the
week off from work for some reason, and are using their free
time to drink and have loud sex all over the house, I decide I need
to get a job.
Im probably just going to be headed back East to work at the
furniture store. Without really deciding on anything, Ive decided
to take the easy approach, and just resign myself that Im going
to be doing what generations of my family have been doing.
Theres nothing wrong with selling furniture, right? It has a good
functionpeople sit on it, eat on it. It helps people sort of, I
Its just not what I want to be doing. But who gets to do what
they want to do? Only rare individuals, people like Ryan Hudson.
Hes a perfect example of someone who just does exactly what
he wants to do without regard for the consequences, without
regard for anyone else but himself. Do I want to be like that? No.
Definitely not.
But even if Im headed back East, I need money immediately.
I havent even called Ryans office to ask about the check. I
doubt its coming.
And with my bank account dwindling, I need some money
fast, unless I want to call my parents. Theyd be happy to send
me the money for me to come East. Theyd be more than happy
to do that. It would prove that they were right all along, that
there was no way I could make it as a programmer in San
Francisco, that it was just a lofty idea I had because Im young
and inexperienced.
Well at least Im not exactly inexperienced anymore. Ryan
Hudson took care of that problem its what happened after
that didnt turn out as I expected. Or maybe my expectations
changed after the fact. Who knows.
Its unlikely Im going to get an office job in a short amount of
time, and Id have to wait for the pay check anyway.
No, I need something thats going to get me fast cash quick.
I know Hailey could get me a job where she works, but Ive
decided that Im not speaking to her. I cant believe how she flip
flopped there at the park, once she saw Ryan Hudson again in
person. I mean, if she really thinks hes that hot, why doesnt
she just go after him herself? Id love to tell her that, but I dont
have the nerve. Plus, I know that would kill me. Thats the last
thing I want for her to do.
Im in such a funk that I feel like everyone is completely
against me. Everyone, and the whole world, so when I show up at
a coffee shop, looking for a job, Im not in a good mood, to say
the least.
Are you guys hiring? I say to the barista, a young man in his
early twenties with about a dozen earrings, as is typical here in
San Fran, and a very long beard that he must have been growing
for years.
He shrugs at me, and goes to help the next customer.
Im sort of standing to the side of the line here, a little out of
the way of the normal traffic.
Youre just going to ignore me? I say, already feeling
conspicuous and out of place. Im not sure why I do it, but I raise
my voice at him, making it clear that Im not pleased.
He shrugs at me again, as he prepares some kind of fancy
espresso drink.
If I were here with Ryan, I find myself thinking, this guy
wouldnt ignore me.
No one ignores Ryan Hudson.
Except for me.
Ive ignored another one of his phone calls today. Im sure he
was just going to tell me he needs to fuck me again, and
command me to come over to his place, without telling me how
he feels about me.
Listen, I say, louder this time. Im looking for work, and I
can tell you need the help, the way youre treating me. Just give
me the phone number of the owner and Ill take care of all this
myself. I can see thats how things go in this place.
I realize Im being unreasonable, but I dont care right now.
Im pissed, and the world is against me. At least it feels that way.
Thats not the way to get a job, says the woman whos
waiting on her drink. She says it in a half-whisper, which annoys
Dont you get started on me, I say.
Listen, says the barista, coming over to me, putting his
hands down on the counter, facing me directly. Im the owner.
And youd better get out of here before I call the cops.
Asshole, I mutter under my breath as I walk out of the
coffee shop.
Well, that could have gone better.
How is that twenty year old guy the owner of that packed
coffee shop? Everyone in San Francisco is an entrepreneur
except for me.
Im just a furniture seller, and Id better admit it now.
With tears welling in my eyes, I take out my phone and press
my moms name on the contact list. Shes labeled quite
creatively as mom on the list.
Lily? Is that you? What happened, dear? Whats wrong?
Why do you think something is wrong?
Well, you never call me anymore. I figured something must
be wrong.
Everythings fine, Mom, I say, lying through my teeth. In
reality, everything is terrible.
Oh, well, I was just speaking to your father about you. We
were wondering how that new job was going, the one you wrote
to us about in that email.
I can tell from her tone of voice that she knows something is
up. After all, I really dont call home very often. I know I should
but my mom always ends up criticizing my choices and telling
me I should just come work at the furniture store. Well, she had
better be glad to hear it then, that Im finally giving up.
I quit the job, I say. I was wondering if I could come work
at the store.
Come work at the store? says my mom, her tone of voice
turning strange, and not too pleasant.
Yeah, I say. Youre always saying I should just give up here
and come work with you and Dad.
But what about your programming? What about your
passion? You cant just give up!
But thats exactly what youre always telling me to do. This
doesnt make any sense!
Sometimes, says my mother, her tone of voice severe and
beyond frustrating for me to listen to. Thats the way things
are. Theyre confusing.
Mom, I say. I dont know what this is all about. I dont
know what youre saying. But I dont have a job, and Im running
out of money. What if I just come work at the store.
I was reading the other day about how people do a lot of
computer work online. Id hate for you to give it all up. Why
dont you come home, and you can work on your computer work
while youre at the store. That way, you wont be giving it up.
Is something wrong with the store or something? I say.
Why this sudden change of heart about me working there? I
thought its all you and Dad ever wanted me to do.
No, everythings fine. Were doing better than ever, actually.
Weve been selling a lot of dining room tables recently. You
know, those ones with the spiral things? (My moms never
been very good at describing things, even though shes worked
in the business for decades, and should know the official
Yeah, I say. I know those. I think I saw them on a TV show
I was watching with Hailey.
Hows she doing?
Fine, I say, not wanting to get into the whole thing. So
why dont you want me to work there?
Well, of course its not like that, says my mother. Its just
that your father and I just saw a program on television about
following your dreams. And I think thats what you should do.
All right, I say. Thats what Ill do then.
I say goodbye, after listening to a couple stories about my
aunts dog.
I guess Ive been away for a while, because I didnt even know
that my Aunt Allison had a dog, or that it could get into so much
I should be grateful to my mothershes finally changed her
mind and thinks I should be a programmer. But its not like she
called me to tell me that. No, I had to call her.
The world still sucks. Im still angry.
Ryans still a prick.
Thats whats changed my outlook completelyRyan.
Everything in my world right now seems to come tumbling back
to Ryan, no matter what I try to do.
So now that Im broke and dont have a jobthis is when Im
supposed to be following my dreams?

I doubt Johnny Robbins would go to the trouble to doctor

these screenshots. Then again, hes capable of anything,
and I trust him less and less each day. Not that I trusted him
much at all.
Im back at my house, down in the basement where there
isnt any light, except for a dim bulb hanging over my head.
Im sitting at a folding card table. Its nothing like the
luxurious wooden desks I usually work atwhen I work, that is.
Which is a lot, recently, but not a whole lot before this whole
Simmons Algorithm crisis came up. Im hunched over my
laptop, enjoying the darkness and the small patch of light that
this bare light bulb illuminates.
This is how I used to work before I was richhunched over
the computer, in a darkened room.
Plus, I dont like to get into my emotions much. Ignoring
them and simply dominating them with sheer force of will is
whats gotten me this far but something feels different.
And I know exactly what it is.
Its Lily.
More like her absence.
The absence of Lily.
Its still hitting me hard. It feels like a physical pain, like a
hard punch in the stomach, or the absence of some vital organ.
How do I deal with it?
I fucking work, thats how.
Ive been down here in the basement for days, only retiring up
to my room to sleep for a few hours, or to hit the kitchen to grab
some beef jerky.
Everyone always told me to redo the basement, to make it
inhabitable. After all, I have the money to do whatever I want to
do to it.
But I never wanted to. Honestly, I prefer the completely
unfurnished typical basement look. Theres everything a classic
basement has here. There are cobwebs, an old washing machine
and dryer (not that I use it, since I just send my clothes out), a
water heater.
The floor is just a basic concrete floor. In one corner, theres a
big pile of some cardboard boxes that contain the possessions I
had before I became rich. Ive never looked back. Ive never even
opened the boxes.
The boxes contain all the regular stuff you would expect from
a single programmer in San Francisco, who was living on
peoples couches when he couldnt pay the rent. Those were
hard times, but I got through it.
The boxes also contain family pictures that I havent looked at
in years. Hell, Ive never opened the boxes since I moved here.
When I grew up, it was just me and my mom. I dont have any
brothers or sisters, and I dont have a dad either. He took off
when I was just a kid, leaving my mom to work as a secretary and
a typist for years, struggling to raise me.
When I was little, she often had to finish her assignments at
home. For that, she had a computer, one of those old basic ones.
But it provided me hours of entertainment. And she not only
let me use it, she taught me how to use it. I knew all the
commands, and she taught me how to program it a little, since
she was also taking a community college course on programming
in order to try to get a better job for herself, in order to give me
something better in life.
I took to it like a fish in water.
Of course, I knew I didnt want to be a nerd, much less a
computer nerd, so I did every sport I could in high school. I
started working out in high school, and everybody knew I wasnt
someone youd want to mess with.
By the time I got to college, my mom had to stop working.
Shed gotten sick and at first, and we didnt know what it was.
She didnt have any energy and simply couldnt get out of bed.
The doctors werent any help. They told her to do exercises or
something and they told this to a woman who could barely get
out of bed. And its not like she looked fine and healthy sitting
there in the doctors offices.
But I wouldnt give up. I kept taking her to doctors
appointments after doctors appointments, even when she
didnt want to go.
They finally found something wrong with her and gave her a
diagnosis. It was lung cancer, which was quite obvious when they
put her in the MRI machine. Shed never smoked a day in her
life, not a single cigarette. It just wasnt fair. She died only a few
months later. The disease had already progressed too far. And
there wasnt any treatment available anywhere stage 4, the
kind you dont tend to recover from.
I blamed myself. I blamed myself for her having to raise me,
even though that wasnt my fault. And I blamed myself for
taking her to the doctor who finally diagnosed her. I know it
wasnt my fault that she was sick, and the doctor only found the
problem, instead of causing it. But maybe she would have been
happier not knowing just how sick she was happier until the
My eyes are blurry and my fingers are tired to the bone.
My minds been wandering to strange places
I force myself to focus back on the computer screen. Ive been
looking over the evidence that Johnny gave me on that USB drive
for the hundredth time. Johnny wouldnt tell me where he got
these, but they seem legitimate. Apparently these are the real
tests that Simmons ran himself, and they actually show worse
performance than my own algorithm.
So its true? Simmons faked the benchmark speed scores?
His algorithm is really just a steaming pile of shit? Its not
even not better than mine, its far worse?
But I need evidence. I need more than what Johnny gave me.
I need to figure out how Simmons could have possibly faked
someone elses benchmark scores. I really doubt he had any
undue influencethe guys who run the tests arent the sorts of
people who can be influenced by money. Theyre huge nerds,
interested in the technology itself.
No, it couldnt have been that.
If Simmons did do it, he must have hacked their system. And
those arent the types of systems that are easy to hack. He would
have had to have some very specialized and highly advanced
code something like a worm that would be able to manipulate
their data.
But how? How would that be possible? Nothings impossible.
I feel like my minds running in circles.
I cant remember the last time I slept.
I rub my eyes.
My thoughts go back to Lily.
Thats not doing me any good. Better not to think of her.
Shes convinced Im just the douchebag billionaire, that theres
nothing else to me
I look over again at the old cardboard boxes.
Something about them draws me towards them. Honestly, I
havent opened them in all these years because its just too
painful to look at pictures of my mother. That probably just
makes me seem like more of a douchebagthat I dont have
pictures of her anywhere in the house. But she was the only
family I had. How can I bare to think about her, and the way she
looked when she died, emaciated and weak, completely confined
to the bed?
Without knowing why, I get up out of my metal chair and walk
over to the cardboard boxes.
I stare at them for a moment, considering the decision Im
about to make.
My heart is actually beating faster as I grab a utility knife
from a shelf of tools and make the first cut into the packing tape
that seals up the first box.
This ones just clothes, things I used to wear when I was broke
and working on my now-famous algorithm. Honestly, I dont
know why I didnt throw these out years ago. Theyre all dated,
but also cheap.
Basically, I never had an extra cent until I made my fortune,
and I knew I could get girls just with my body the fancy clothes
werent necessary. They still arent not that I want anyone
except Lily. I havent been hitting up my contacts list, and I
havent been hitting the clubs. I dont want to admit it, but its
all because of her.
I toss the first box aside before cutting into the second one.
This is it.
A single tear starts to well up in my eyes as I pull out the
framed pictures of my mother. Heres a picture that shows me as
a little kid, probably ten years old. My mother was beautiful,
with long blonde hair that came down past her shoulders. She
dressed a little like a refined hippie, or something like that,
when she wasnt at work. I can remember the day the picture
was taken. It was a day trip to the beach.
I spend another hour looking through the pictures and
thinking about my mother. I feel guilty as hell now that I have
these pictures out. I couldnt deal with the sight of her pictures,
and thats why I kept them down in these boxes in the
basement. But how ridiculous is that, that I cant confront my
feelings? Im supposed to be able to tackle anything, anything at
all, emotions included.
After a while, I cant keep looking at the pictures.
But they have an effect on me. I dont know what it is, but its
like looking at them let something out of me, or freed me up
My mind, of course, finds its way back to Lily again, and her
tight ass and her perfect tits but theres more to her than that.
Theres more than how she can suck my cock and take me all the
way in
Theres something that I havent been able to admit to.
I know shes not going to pick up the phone.
But, to my complete surprise, she does.
Come over, I say.
Why? You just want to fuck me.
Yeah, I say. But theres something else
Ive got her attention now.
I know what she craves and what she needs.
Something else? she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
Yeah, I say. Ive got something to tell you.

I m standing in a supermarket line when he calls me.

Actually, to be more accurate, Im standing in the line at the
customer service desk, ready to ask about a job.
Not that theres anything wrong with working at the
supermarket, but its not the same as being a programmer. Its
not what I want to be doing, and this isnt exactly a nice
I dont know why I pick up.
Maybe its because Im missing him. Maybe its something
else. Maybe Im just crazy.
He is, after all, the douchebag billionaire.
But this time, when he talks, theres something different in
his voice. Something different in the quality. He says he wants to
talk about something. He says he wants to tell me something.
And I know from the way he says it that its not about work. I
cant explain it, but I just know.
I take one more look at the supermarket around me, and
realize that while I really dont want to work here until I find a
programming job, I must be crazy for walking out of here right
now because I apparently know that Ryan wants to tell me
something, instead of just jamming his cock into me.
About an hour later, Im at his house.
I really cant afford taxis or Ubers anymore, so its public
transit for me, with the crowds and strange smells. Not that I
have anything against it, in general, but you know when youre
sitting next to someone whos just gotten off a long shift of
manual labor?
Yeah, walking down the street with the fancy houses towards
Ryans place its a breath of fresh air. I hope seeing him is
going to be too. Not that I dont want to make another bad
decision and just jump his bones but I cant. I need something
else from him. I just dont know if he can really give it to me.
I stand on the fancy front porch with the pillars and stare at
the door for a moment.
Should I really be doing this?
What would Hailey tell me to do? Not that Im talking to
Hailey anymore.
What would my mom say to do? The mother I know would tell
me to come home and work at the furniture store. But the
mother I just spoke to most recently would tell me to follow
my dreams? Those are her words, not mine.
Well, lets hope this dream pays off. Lets hope Im not doing
something incredibly stupid again.
Before I can ring the doorbell, the front door flies open.
Its Ryan, looking as hot as ever, with his broad shoulders, his
perfect model-like jaw line.
Hes wearing just some old jeans and a t-shirt, showing off
his tattoos, as well as his incredible arms.
His hair is a little disheveled, and he looks tired but also
excited at the same time.
Looking at him again, so many emotions come up: anger,
excitement, attraction. All the big ones, wrapped together in a
confusing package.
I dont know what to say. I dont have the slightest idea, so I
say something basic and stupid instead of something real. How
did you know I was here? I havent even rung the doorbell yet.
Intercom system and cameras, says Ryan, pointing to the
camera up in the corner of the porch roof.
Oh, I say.
Come in, says Ryan, holding the door open for me.
I had better not be doing something stupid again, I think to
myself, before walking past him into the house.
Im so nervous that I find myself holding my breath as I do so,
as if that would somehow protect me.
I have to squeeze past him to get into the house, since hes
not holding the door open that wide. My body brushes up against
his, and it sends a thrill through me.
We walk into the living room. The sun is shining brightly all
through the house, lighting everything up inside here. Once
again, Im struck by the luxury of the house, the decorations.
We sit down on the couch, side by side, but with plenty of
space between us.
So what did you want to talk to me about? I say.
Im practically holding my breath, waiting for an answer.
His demeanor is a little different hes still rocking his
commanding presence as always. Hes obviously the boss of just
about everything and anyone, whether or not theyre working for
him. Im not going to call it a softness, but theres something
else there.
I wanted to talk to you, says Ryan, turning his body to look
me right in the eyes. I I dont know where to start, but, well, I
just wanted to tell you a story.
A story?
I guess I was thinking he was going to admit his love for me
this isnt exactly what I was expecting. But hes talking
differently than he usually doesIm not growing angry.
My mother raised me, he says. My dad ran off It was just
me and her. Thats how I got started in computers, you see
The story comes tumbling out of him. He tells me all about
his childhood with his mother, and how if it wasnt for her, he
wouldnt have known anything about computers whatsoever. He
tells me how close he and his mom were, how she made dinner
for him every night, despite being dead tired from her job as a
secretary. And he tells me how she took classes along with her
job and still managed to raise him.
There arent any tears in his eyes, but I can see the sadness in
his face as he tells me how his mom started getting sick, and
about how he finally found a doctor who was able to diagnose
her, only to find out that she was going to die very, very soon
from terminal lung cancer.
Im so sorry to hear that, I say. There may be no tears in his
eyes, but there are some in mine. The way he tells the story is
just heartbreaking. Ive never had anyone open up like this to me
ever, and the douchebag billionaire is certainly the last person
that I would ever expect to talk like this.
He tells me more, about how he locked away all these feelings
for so long, and about how it wasnt until today that he opened
the box that contained the pictures of his mother feelings that
hed been trying to lock away for so long came rushing back
hes glad he did so.
And I wanted to tell you all this, he says. Because well, I
realized Ive been locking away all sorts of emotions not just
those about my family history
His words come out in spurts, but hes still not awkward and
hes never stumbling over his words.
Thanks for telling me, I say.
And this has a lot to do with you.
With me? What do you mean? I know what hes going to
say, I think, but I have to ask anyway.
I feel something different for you Something intense, and
I didnt want to admit it.
I pause for a moment. A thousand thoughts are buzzing in my
mind, with a thousand possible things to say. In the end, I let my
instincts guide me, and tell him what I feel. I feel the same way
about you, I say, my voice soft. You hurt me I thought there
was something between us, but then you treated me like any one
of your other girls.
There arent any other girls. Youre different from anyone
Ive ever been with and I feel something for you I think I
I hold my breath, but he doesnt say it.
Lets give it another chance, he says.
I dont say anything. For a response, I lean across the wide
gap between us and kiss him softly on the mouth, letting my lips
fall against his like rose petals.
He kisses me back, softly, but not so gently.
Lets take it slow this time, he says.
OK, I say.
We continue kissing, and his strong hands work their way
across my back and down my shoulders. He pushes my hair aside
and kisses my neck gently.
I moan softly.
I dont know if I can take it slow with you, I say, my voice
soft and throaty, filled with lust.
Just being near him again, having his hands on me, its
This time may not be slow, but its different than the other
times weve had sex. I can already tell this isnt just fucking.
Theres more than lust here, something else, something
powerful between us that pulses through our bodies.
I feel his hard cock in his pants, pushing outward and upward.
Well go to the bedroom, he says. No more closets and
couches for you.
None? I say, inflecting my voice. But I liked the closet.
I know you did.
He picks me up in his arms easily and carries me against his
dense chest. He carries me through the house, up the stairs, and
lays me gently on the plush mattress.
Its almost dusk outside. Weve been talking for hours
without me realizing it. Ryan closes the blinds gently, and comes
to lay beside me on the bed, putting one of his strong hands on
I snuggle up to him, and his hard cock presses against me.
I love having your cock pressed into me, I whisper.
Slowly, I start grinding my body against him and his cock. I
cant help it. I do it almost automatically.
The tension builds and builds between us, and finally it snaps
like a twig. Theres simply too much attraction between us to
take it slow.
His mouth mashes against mine, our tongues tangling. His
hands are all over me, and mine are on him.
I push my way on top of him, laying my body flat on his. His
cock pushes right into the space between my legs.
We go through the clumsy business of removing our clothes,
only its not clumsy at all. Instead, it feels romantic and special.
With me straddling him now, he reaches down and removes my
shirt from my torso, and he unhooks my bra from behind, letting
it fall away.
He leans up and sucks on my nipples, which are hard little
daggers pointing right into his mouth.
I unbuckle his belt, undoing his pants, and move aside and off
of him so that I can tug them down.
Soon, our clothes are on a pile on the floor, and I straddle him
once again.
A condom appears nearly out of nowhere, and I help him put
in on his big cock, letting my hand stay there, pushing my palm
into the base of his cock.
When I remove my hand, theres an instant where Im about
to slide myself down onto his cock, taking him into me.
He pulls me down with his hands on his shoulders and kisses
me, gently this time, but passionately.
I love you, he says.
I can see it in his eyes that he means it. This isnt just some
line. My heart fills with the most intense joy Ive ever
I love you too, I say.
I slide myself down onto his cock and it enters me. I love
being able to control the speed, and I start out thinking Im
going to ride him slowly. I actually do for a little while, long slow
rocking motions, rocking back and forth along his muscular
But soon, the tension builds, and I simply want him too
With my eyes locked onto his, I start riding him faster and
faster, until Im panting with exertion.
His cock feels so fucking good inside me. I dont ever want it
to leave. My hands are planted on his chest, palms downward.
He growls as he winks at me and basically just picks me up
and flips me over, getting on top of me quickly, without his cock
ever leaving me.
I start moaning as soon as hes on top of me. He doesnt
break the rhythm at all. Hes riding me hard and fast, with his
eyes still locked onto mine.
His hands hold my head around the side, cupping me like Im
the most precious thing in the world to him. Its sweet and also
ragingly hot at the same time.
This is just as hot as when we fucked in the closet, but its
different its impossible to explain, but theres emotion now.
That doesnt make it any less hot, less naughty, or less intense.
It makes it more intense.
The orgasm rushes through me and I cry out as he keeps
riding me.
He comes a moment later, his cock twitching inside me,
frozen, buried deep.
We stay like this for a full minute before disengaging. Were
both panting, and hes still looking into my eyes, brushing the
hair out of my eyes.
Wow, I say, finally getting the strength to talk again.
Wow is right, he says.
So this is where you run off again, right?
He laughs, a deep chuckle coming from his chest.
Not this time, he says. Youre staying right here with
me. He pulls me close to him. Hes on his back, and I nestle my
head into the crook of his arm. His muscular arm drapes up and
around me, holding me close to him.
We fall asleep like this, drifting off into the night, into
dreams that are as sweet as whats developing between us.
I love you, I tell him, right before finally closing my eyes.
I love you too, Lily, he says.

I dont know how to express it to her, but I try my best the

next morning.
That was incredible, I say. Ive never You know, Ive
fucked plenty of times.
I know, she says, winking at me.
But Ive never made love before. That was different so
She just kisses me and hugs me. Remember, she says. Its
new for me, too.
We eat breakfast together in the kitchen, with the light
coming in.
For me, its the longest Ive been in daylight in a few days,
maybe more. Ive been locked away down there in that
basement, bleeding my eyes out onto the computer screen.
Everything seemed impossible, impractical, completely
pointless. I was lost, and for more time than I thought. Ive been
lost for years, and now Ive found her. I was adrift, like a sailor at
sea. Except the sailor knows hes lost, and I didnt.
I wish I could tell her everything, exactly how I feel. But its
hard starting to express myself like this
Its not like Im a new person. No, Im still the same
commanding guy who can tackle everything, just like before. But
Im better equipped now to confront challenges than ever. I was
missing the critical thing. I was missing Lily.
I tell her what I can. I do my best, which isnt enough. There
will be time for that later. Shes not going anywhere, and neither
am I.
We dont talk much through breakfast, finding ourselves just
staring at each other instead.
The rest of the day goes by like a pleasant dream. We walk in
the park in the sun, and she falls asleep with her head in my lap
as we sit in the warm grass. Children are playing nearby,
laughing and running around.
The day floats by and I dont think about my business
problems at all. They simply dont enter my head, so enthralled
am I to have this beautiful creature at my side.
You want to get some ice cream? I say as Lily wakes up,
smiling at me as she opens her eyes.
Ice cream? she says sleepily.
I nod.
Oh! says Lily. What happened with the algorithm? You
I tell her everything, including the news that I got from Jonny
Robbins, and I share with her the struggles Ive been having with
trying to figure out how Simmons could have faked the results.
So what do you need to do to prove that he faked it all? she
I shrug. I dont know. I guess Id have to have access to the
tech magazines servers.
Whats it called again?
Tech Bee Bumble, I say. Only a bunch of computer nerds
could have come up with a name like that.
Cant you just hack in?
I shrug. It would be tricky. I mean, theyre tech guys who
talk about security all day long. Believe me, Ive tried, but their
servers are probably more secure than the governments. And
that makes me wonder if Simmons really could have cracked it
himself in order to manipulate everything.
Wait, did you say Tech Bee Bumble?
Yeah, I say. Why? I bet youve heard of them. Theyre
pretty big in the algorithm world. Not a lot of people outside the
business know them.
You know, says Lily. I have all these roommates and I
thought they were all finance people. They party really hard, and
theyre never home. I hadnt even met any of them until
recently because I was at home.
Because you quit?
Yeah, she says, letting her word trail off into nothing, into
Just say the word and youre hired again.
Of course, I say. But keep in mind that Ill be your boss
again. I wink at her.
Youll always be my boss, she says.
Thats kind of weird, I say, laughing.
She laughs. But, yes, I desperately need the job. Moneys
kind of tight right now.
No problem. But I dont know how much longer the
companys going to be around if I dont fix this problem.
Wait, says Lily. Before you say that, I think I have a way
we could get into the system
Yeah, so get this. One of my roommates is this guy named
Blake with a real big head. He doesnt talk much. And hes not a
finance guy at all. He actually works for that same magazine.
He works for Tech Bee Bumble? I say.
Yeah, Im positive. He told me the name and I didnt
remember it right away, so I asked him again. Hes kind of a
weird guy. He finally just pulled out his ID card and showed me
the name on that. Maybe he is a finance guy after all or
something, I couldnt really get the whole story out of him. But
what I do know is that he definitely works for Tech Bee Bumble.
You think hed let us into the building, or give us access to
the server? I personally doubt it. Theyre going to have top
security over there.
I really dont know him at all, and he didnt seem too
friendly. I doubt hed do anything willingly, but maybe
Are you suggesting we use his credentials or something to
gain access?
It could work, couldnt it?
Youre naughty, I say. Very naughty. And I like it.
Youll have plenty of time to punish me later, says Lily.
First of all, what do we need? What would give us access?
Well, if we could get onto his laptop or something Thats
pretty much all we need.
Great, says Lily. Lets go to my place then.
Right now?
Of course. Its important, right? And the companys in
I just care about you, I say. But now that you mention it, I
would like to crush Simmons
Thats the Ryan Hudson I know, says Lily, giving me a
forceful kiss on the mouth.
My cock grows, pressing against the fabric of my pants. I can
feel her body against me, ready.
But theres business to take care of. Were going to have all
the time in the world to fuck.
Ill get us a car, I say, using my phone to order one.
Less than a minute later, while were still making out, a sleek
black car pulls gracefully to a stop only about fifteen feet from
where were sitting.
Good service, says Lily, impressed. I could get used to this
Itll be an easy transition, I say. But we have to prove
Simmons a fraud first.
The driver drops us off by Haight Ashbury, where Lilys
apartment is tucked into the back side of an old rambling
Lily takes my hand and leads me through the entrance
hallway, which has cracked paint and a strange, moldy smell.
I used to live in places like this, I say.
It takes some getting used to.
Its not bad, I say, eyeing a broken broom thats leaning
against the wall in the hallway.
Im this way, says Lily, opening the door to her apartment
with her key.
The kitchen is intense. It looks like a bunch of college kids
live here or something. The sink is full of dirty dishes, and there
are half empty vodka bottles lined up on the counter.
My first thought is: wheres the maid? Whats she been
doing? Is she on vacation?
Then I realize most people dont have maids, let alone a staff
of them.
Nice place, I say.
No need to bullshit me, says Lily.
I laugh. Just trying to be nice.
Thats not really your style. Come on, its this way.
Blake? she calls out, moving down the hallway. I follow.
Blake? Hailey? Is anyone home? Seems like everyone is out.
How much time do you think we have? I say.
Its hard to say. Someone could come home at any time. I
dont know their schedules. Haileys at work shes my best
friend the one from the park.
The one who wanted you to jump my bones again in the
Yeah, she says. And come to think of it, I need to
apologize to her.
Theres a noise in the hallway.
Is that someone? I whisper.
The noise goes away, and the front door doesnt swing open.
A lot of my roommates are never here. Blakes one of them.
Heres his room.
We enter the room, which is sparsely furnished with a
mattress on the floor and not much else.
They must not be paying well over at Tech Bee Bumble, I
Heres his laptop.
Hailey goes over to his laptop, which is lying on the floor near
the mattress.
He probably fell asleep jacking off to porn or something, I
Gross, says Lily.
I crouch down in front of the laptop, careful not to move it
from its position. Im also careful to avoid sitting on the
mattress because, as Lily points out quite accurately, its quite
I open the laptop.
No sticky keys, I say. Good sign.
Sticky keys? Is that a programming thing?
I dont want to sully your mind with telling you what that is.
Its just a joke.
Theres a password, says Lily, upon seeing the password
screen come up. Damn, this whole thing is ruined. I have no
idea what his password might be.
Dont worry, I say, pulling a little USB drive from my
pocket. This thing will break through anything. Its a special
little program I made for circumstances just like this. You never
know when it might come in handy.
I plug the USB drive in and sure enough, the computer boots
right up.
Piece of cake, I say. Now comes the tricky bit.
What are you going to do?
Lets see if I can use this machine to access the Tech Bee
Bumble server, I say. With any luck hell at least have an email
log on there and then I can plant my worm.
You have a worm?
I made one at home I modified it a little bit, in case this
situation came up. Thats what I was doing all this week
mostly. I just couldnt figure out how to get the worm in. Dont
worry, its not going to hurt their system at all. Itll just plant a
back door and give us the access we need to snoop around.
Sounds good, says Lily, looking nervous. They might be
getting back any minute.
It wont take long, I say.
Sure enough, theres an email log on to the server, and Im
able to parlay that into an installation of the worm. Another
piece of cake, although frankly not many people would be able to
pull this off.
Theres a sound in the apartment, the slamming of a door,
Someones coming, says Lily. Lets hope its my friend
Hailey. A few seconds go by. It doesnt sound like her. Shit, I
think it might be Blake hes kind of heavy What are we going
to do?
Shes almost sweating with anxiety. She doesnt want to be
caught in his room, and I can understand that.
I quickly remove the USB drive and shut the laptop.
The door begins to open.
Thinking quickly, I grab Lily just like in the movies and kiss
I can tell shes surprised, but she kisses me back.
To make it extra realistic, and for my own pleasure, I put my
hand up her shirt and grab her breast gently, squeezing it. I can
feel her nipples getting hard. Im tempted to put a hand down
her pants, but that might be going too far for this situation.
The door opens fully.
A young man, slightly overweight, with a large head, steps in.
This must be Blake.
Oh! says Lily, pulling away from me, doing a great job of
following along with my trick and pretending to be surprised.
Im so sorry! I didnt I was just showing my friend here the
Hows it going? I say.
Blake looks incredibly embarrassed. Uh Ill be back in a
minute, he says.
You think that worked? says Lily.
Of course. He bought it hook, line, and sinker.

B ack at Ryans house, were hunched over a couple of laptops

in the kitchen.
Look! says Ryan, turning his computer towards me. Here
it is! Didnt take long at all. Simmons left his tracks all over the
place. You just need to know what to look for. It looks like he
installed a worm that messed with the tests they were running,
making his algorithm look a lot better than it really was
But wont people who buy the algorithm notice?
He shrugs. Not necessarily. A lot of people who run servers
and stuff are pretty clueless when it comes to speed metrics.
People are just going to buy it because this tech magazine has
such a huge influence and its so trusted.
Doesnt look like it was so secure, though.
I dont know how Simmons got in. He must be a good
You got in.
Only with your help, though.
What are you going to do now?
Im going to make someone do a lot of work, says Ryan.
I pick up my phone and dial Marty.
Marty, he says. No, no, I dont care about that. Just listen
to me. Ive got something I need you to do. Thats right, dont
worry, youre not out of a job. Once you turn the douchebag
billionaire into a decent businessmen in the public eye, youre
going to be begging for the new clients to stop calling you. Yeah,
Ive got proof that Simmonss is a fraud. My Sisyphus Algorithm
is the only one that works. Yeah, Ill send you the info. Just dont
fuck it up. Got it.
He hangs up the phone before Marty can respond.
That should take care of that, he says. Theres just one
more thing I wanted to take care of.
Whats that?
I want you to marry me.
Oh my God! Im trembling, actually trembling. Of
course! I say.
He pulls me towards him, kissing me deeply.
I love you, I say, as I collapse against him, into his arms.
I love you, too, Lily, he says.

THE NEXT FEW weeks are a blur of activity and excitement. The plan
worked perfectly, and Simmons was exposed as the fraud that he
is. Ryans publicist did a brilliant job, making sure there were a
ton of articles explaining the whole story. Not only did Ryans
company get all its business back, but it got him a lot of good
media attention for once, and brought his company to a new
level of excellence and profit.
Ryans no longer satisfied to be the kind of guy he once was.
For one thing, theres me, and Ive already moved into his place.
Hes still the same commanding guy he always was, but theres
something else there he says Ive changed him in ways I cant
even imagine.
Hes also no longer satisfied to just live off the profits of his
algorithm, letting his company function just as a sales team.
Hes back in the office, working tirelessly on new and innovative
He hired me back, of course, and I head the development
team in the office. I thought Id be out of my league here, but it
turns out I have a lot of good programming ideas. I dont always
know exactly how to implement them, but thats why theres a
whole team at my disposal, after all.
Ryans no longer called the Douchebag Billionaire. Articles
now actually use his real name, and there was a flood of articles
featuring our relationship, describing how hes turned his life
Well I guess you wont be coming back to work at the
furniture store, said my mother, when we talked on the phone.
The wedding is scheduled for six months down the road, once
we get our newest piece of software up and off the ground.
Hailey, of course, is my maid of honor. We made up, of course. A
life with Hailey wouldnt be a complete life for me. But a life
without Ryan at this point that would be impossible to even
dream of.
My parents, and everyone else I invite, are thrilled about
coming to the wedding, perhaps more so than usual, since its
going to be quite an expensive and fancy affair. Ryans company
is doing better than ever, and the money is rolling in. I never
have to worry about money ever again, but the work is fun,
exactly what I want to be doing, and I wouldnt give it up for
The wedding date seems to zoom up out of nowhere, burning
through calendar days.
Before I know it, its the night before the wedding.
And Im at Ryans house.
Arent I supposed to be staying somewhere else before the
wedding night? I say, snuggling up to Ryan on the couch in his
living room. Im not supposed to see you for a full day, right?
The soothing sounds of outdoor fountains come faintly into
the living room.
Thats just a superstition, growls Ryan. And plus, dont
you remember that youre not longer a virgin?
I laugh. How could I ever forget? But Im still pure, arent I?
Ryan chuckles deeply. Of course, baby. But Im about to
change that.
Should I be worried?
Come to the bedroom and youll find out.
I like the sound of that, I say, as his body presses against
me, and his mouth mashes into mine.
I know Im wet. My clit is already swollen. My body is eager
for him. I feel his rock hard cock pressing into me.
But before things go too far here on the couch, he picks me up
and walks me to the bedroom.
I gasp when I see the room.
When did you have time to do all this?
The lights of the master bedroom are off, but the entire room
is filled with small candles that cast flickering light on the walls.
The sheets on the bed are pulled partially down, and the
entire surface is covered in beautiful rose pedals.
I thought itd be a surprise for our pre-wedding night,
growls Ryan.
Its breathtaking, I say.
Its only as Ryan lowers me to the bed, that I notice the long
strips of silk that are hanging off the bedpost where they are
What are these?
Youll see, growls Ryan, as he ties me up, gently.
Now hes removing my clothes, and his. I watch as he unzips
his pants and lets them fall away, and as he pulls out his massive
cock, already erect and swollen for me.
He pulls tight the last knot, and my wrists are attached
securely to the bedposts.
I like this, I say, my eyes locking onto his.
I thought you would, he growls.
His hands brush across the bare skin on my arms. His tongue
twirls around my erect nipples. Im already panting.
I moan as his hands move across me.
Fuck me, please, I moan, straining my arms against the silk
Ryans on top of me, his rippling abs pressing against me. His
cock enters me, and I gasp.
Its going to be a long night, growls Ryan.

TURN the page to read Running Backs Baby.



T he windows of my old car are steaming up. Im breathing

heavily, my breasts rising and falling.
Dan is next to me, his massive and muscular body turned
towards me from the passenger seat. Hes over six feet tall and
easily 200 pounds of solid muscle.
His hair is a gorgeous brown, with just enough wave to it. His
eyes are a piercing blue that seem to see right through me.
Its so great seeing you again, says Dan, looking right into
my eyes.
You, too, I say, hoping I dont sound too breathless with
Were parked at the edge of a deserted park. The dark trees
rise up around us, and if the windows werent fogged, wed be
able to see the bright stars in the pitch-black sky.
We never got to spend much time together in high school,
says Dan.
Its almost midnight, I say.
Wont you stay out with me a little while longer?
I nod my head shyly. Of course, I say, my voice almost a
Youve become so beautiful, says Dan.
I dont know what to say. It feels like my voice is stuck. I cant
believe hes telling me Im beautiful! I cant believe it! These
thoughts race through my head, exploding like firecrackers.
Dan was the football star in high school. Every girl wanted
him, and he seemed to want them all.
I want to tell him that I cant believe hes sitting in the car
with me here at midnight. I want to tell him that hes the most
beautiful, handsome, hot man Ive ever seen in my life. I want to
tell him so many things, but instead, I say something inane,
because I dont know what else to say.
So you really like college, then? I say.
Sure, says Dan, laughing. Its amazing. Ive got a ton of
friends from the football team, and Coach really likes me. The
parties are amazing. You should think about visiting sometime.
Id really like that, I say.
Plus, says Dan. Its nothing like high school. People arent
as divided into cliques the way they were. In college, youre just
who you are. People dont judge you.
Thatd be nice, I say, laughing nervously.
Dan was the star jock in high school, the popular kid. We were
in the same class, but we rarely talked, even though we lived on
the same block. I was the shy nerd, the good student. I was on
the total opposite social spectrum from Dan.
I never thought hed look my way. I never thought hed be
looking at me as he is now, only inches away from me in the
steamed up car.
Im glad we had you and your dad over for dinner tonight,
says Dan.
Me too, I say.
Im trying to stay calm on the outside, but inside my mind is
racing with anxiety. I want so desperately to kiss him. But does
he want me? Could he possibly want me?
I cant believe Im sitting so close to him.
Does he notice my rapid breathing? Does he see my nipples?
Dan is home from college for Thanksgiving, and because of
my dads situation, his family invited us over for dinner. Dan
somehow wrangled me into driving him to the store, and then
suggested we drive to this deserted park, and thats why were
here now.
Dans in his first year at college, at the big university,
Cratemore, playing football on a scholarship. I should be at
college too now, but Im at home taking care of my dad.
You know, says Dan. I meet a lot of girls at school
I hold my breath. Where is he going with this? He doesnt
want me after all? My pulse feels like its skyrocketing again, my
heart beating fast. I worry that Ill break into a cold sweat.
I want him. I want him so much, like no one else Ive ever
But youre the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen, says
My heart stops for a moment. I cant believe my ears. I open
my mouth but no words come out.
Dan chuckles. Im serious, he says. Its not just some
I know its not, I say, finally finding my voice.
Dan gazes into my eyes. Hes leaning in, across the gap
between our seats that now seems impossibly large.
He places his large, strong hand gently on my shoulder.
His massive chest is coming towards me. His mouth is just an
inch from mine, getting closer and closer.
I bring my lips to meet his, and he kisses me, and I kiss him
back. Its the most incredible sensation, but Im almost
distracted from it by thinking, I cant believe this is happening!
I cant believe it! Dan! Im making out with Dan!
Dans lips are just perfect. His hand is brushing across my
shoulder, towards my breasts, and Ive never wanted someone to
touch me more. Come on, I think, touch me. I need to feel you on
my breasts, on my chest. I need you to feel my hard nipples and
massage me and I need you to make me moan.
Is his cock hard? I want to reach out and touch it like Ive
never wanted anything before. I want to swallow up his hard
cock, wrapping my lips around it. I want him inside me, deep
inside me, thrusting into me as he makes me moan, as he grunts
in pleasure.
Theres a loud rapping sound at my window.
What was that? says Dan, pulling away from me.
I already long for Dans lips again to be on mine. He feels so
far away now, and I feel alone, so alone. Hes less than a foot
from me in the passengers seat, but it feels like miles.
Whos at the window? Im terrified. My heart is pounding,
about to leap through my chest.
Roll down the window, says a commanding voice from the
I think its the police, says Dan, sounding calm himself.
Come on, roll it down. Its fine.
But the fact that its the police doesnt make me feel any
easier. Arent we breaking the law by being here? Were not
supposed to be at this park after hours, especially not at
Wont we get in trouble? I whisper to Dan.
Its fine, says Dan, grinning at me.
I take him at his word and start to roll the window down. The
car is an old beater, all that I can afford, and the window makes
crunching sounds as it rolls down.
Sure enough, its a tall police officer shining a light in our
License and registration, he says, not sounding the least bit
Officer, I say, my voice pleading. Im sorry. I know were
here after hours, but
License and registration, says the officer, sounding even
less friendly than before.
Hes going to arrest us. I know it. Im going to have to have
my sick dad come down to the jail and bail me out, and who
knows how much this is going to cost me. It could be thousands
of dollars, and it could go on my permanent record. I dont even
have a record, and now Im going to have a criminal one. Ill have
to let my potential future employers know I have a criminal
record. Ill never get a job again.
Sir, I say. I can explain
Its OK, Chloe, says Dan in a soothing voice.
Step out of the car, says the officer, almost shouting at me.
I start to cry.
Step out of the car, he says.
Like a robot, I do what he says, opening the car door that
squeaks on its rusty hinges. Im certain this is the end of any
opportunities Ill ever have.
Both of you. Step out of the car.
Im standing in the cold, shivering, with the officer towering
above me. He shines the bright light in my face and I go blind for
a moment.
Im just waiting for the handcuffs to be slapped around my
Now he shines the light at Dan.
Dan! he suddenly says, his whole tone changing. Now he
doesnt sound like a strict and gruff police officer. Is that you,
Yup, says Dan, holding up his hand against the blinding
Sorry, says the officer, lowering the light. Man, I cant
believe thats you, Dan. You used to kill it on the field at
Randolph High. Youre playing for Cratemore, now, right?
Thats right, sir. Starting linebacker.
It turns out the police officer is a huge football fan, and hes
been following Dan since his freshman year at Randolph High.
And hes a huge college sports fanatic, and watches every one of
Cratemores games.
I know you all are going to make it to the championship this
year, says the officer.
I sure hope so, says Dan, looking impossibly cute,
impossibly hot as he says it.
The red and blue siren lights of the cop car are still flashing,
and Im still feeling anxious.
But, without even checking our papers, the officer bids us a
good night, and tells us to be more careful next time.
Give em hell in the next game, he says, waving at us
jovially, before turning to his police car.
Nice guy, says Dan, getting back into the car.
I thought he was going to arrest us for sure, I say.
Nah, says Dan.
With the anxiety fading, my desire for Dan returns, and it
returns strong. I want his lips to be on mine again, and I want his
hands on me. I want him.
But I figure we cant exactly sit here in the car. The officer was
nice, but hes clearly waiting for us to leave the deserted park, so
I crank the engine and drive slowly towards home.
I dont know where to go. Will it seem like I want Dan too
much if I pull over the car and just start making out with him
again? The spontaneity of the park moment is long gone, and I
just cant figure out the strategy of it this time How did Dan
make it seem so casual?
Well, I say awkwardly as I pull up to Dans house. Here we
I look over at Dan and hes staring at me and grinning.
You want to come in? he says.
Oh, I say, conscious that I want to come in more than
anything in the world. But what about your parents?
But that makes me sound like I want him! I think to myself,
nearly screaming at myself in my head.
Dan chuckles. Theyre asleep, he says.
Im going to do it, I think to myself. Im going to go in, and I
can barely wait until I wrap my fingers around his hard, naked
cock. I can almost see it before me, massive and hard in my
I stare ahead of me, out the windshield, looking at the cold
white glow from the streetlights.
Suddenly, I remember I need to get home. My dads going to
be needing his medication before he goes to bed. Shit, its always
Sorry, I say. I really would like to, but my dad I need to
get home
Oh, says Dan. Thats OK. I understand. It must be really
hard for you, with him being sick and all
I nod my head stiffly.
Well, says Dan. Im not heading back to school for
another few days. Want to hang out tomorrow?
Of course, I say.
Great, says Dan, kissing me again full on the lips.
We almost fall into another intense make out session, but I
force myself to pull away from him, saying Ive really got to get
Dan winks at me as he gets out of the car, and I watch him
jogging lightly up to his parents house.
I drive back in silence to my dads house, where I sit in the car
in the driveway, thinking about tonight, and, honestly, dreading
the moment I have to go in and see my dad. Each day, his illness
gets more severe and harder to take. Its just hard seeing him
deteriorate like this right before my eyes, no matter what I do.

I went to sleep with my cock rock hard, and I wake up with it

absolutely straining against the sheets.
I cant stop thinking about her. All last night I thought about
her, the way her body looked and felt. I can almost still taste her
lips on mine, the memory still fresh and delicious.
I never noticed her before, honestly. But now that Ive come
back from college, shes grown curves like nothing else. Shes a
woman now, a real woman, the sexiest woman Ive ever seen.
Just thinking about her drives me completely wild.
I close my eyes and picture the curve of her breasts, and the
way her thighs looked sitting in the drivers seat. I picture her
ass as she had her back facing me, talking to the cop.
My hand is moving along my cock, slowly at first, and now
rapidly. My breathing is getting faster.
In my minds eye, Chloe and I are all alone in the middle of
the football field (yeah, yeah, I know, I know), and theres no one
else around. Its the middle of the night, and she faces me and
gives me a shy but seductive look, beckoning me forward.
My imagination goes rampant now. In my waking-dream,
Chloe pulls off her top and her breasts pop out.
My cock is raging hard against my hand. My hands moving
fast now, in a blur, as my imagination runs wild with the image
of Chloe.
My whole body tenses and my breathing is ragged. I come, my
cock exploding into the tissue paper.
I head downstairs to the kitchen and pour myself a couple
glasses of milk to go along with some cereal. Coach recommends
that I drink up to two quarts of milk a day, to get stronger, to
help me bulk up.
Tossing the dishes into the sink, I head into the hallway,
towards the front door. Ive got a hankering, as my dad would
say if he was hungry, to see Chloe. Doesnt matter to me if its
Im going for a walk, I call out, already putting on my coat.
Where to? says my mom, appearing from the living room,
holding a thick book she was reading.
I thought Id see if I could help Mr. Parsons with
something, I say. Just last night he was talking about needing
some help with the attic.
You dont fool me one bit, Dan, she says, peering at me
over her reading glasses. You dont care about his attic.
But I want to help him, I say.
Only because youre interested in Chloe. I saw the way you
were looking at her yesterday during Thanksgiving dinner.
Whats the problem? I say.
Shes a nice girl, Dan, says my mom. Dont mess with her
head. Youre going back to college.
I know what Im doing, I say, heading out the door.
Chloes house is only a couple houses down. Its funny I
didnt see her much in high school, but then again I was always
running off with the football team, driving around chasing the
cheerleaders and girls from the nearby private schools.
The wind has a chill to it and the dead leaves are blowing
through the streets.
Chloes dads house was once a fancy Victorian, common in
this part of Pennsylvania, but its since fallen into a state of
disrepair. Ever since Chloes mom died, and her dad got sick, the
house hasnt been a priority.
Chloe appears at her door almost as soon as I ring it.
Hey, she says, shyly grinning at me. Shes peeking around
the door, holding it open just a crack, but I can still see that shes
wearing some gym shorts that she probably slept in and a
halter-top. I can see more of her skin than I could yesterday or
last nightafter all, its cold out.
Hey there, I say.
She stares at me, and giggling a little.
I cant help but grinning at her. Are we both thinking the
same thing?
You going to let me in? I say.
I have to get changed, she says, making as if to close the
Youre not going to close it in my face, are you? I say.
Of course not, she says, after a pause.
She lets me in and I cant keep my eyes off her. Her legs shine
and her skin is smooth and silky looking. I cant wait to touch it
Im halfway towards her, headed for an embrace, when her
dad appears.
Hi, Mr. Parsons, I say. I was just coming over to see if you
needed any help around the house.
Chloe gives me a look that clearly says, I know what youre
up to, and my dads not going to buy your bullshit either.
Chloes dad just grunts and heads back into the kitchen,
beckoning me to follow him.
How you feeling today? I say, trying to make conversation
as he stands in the kitchen silently, staring at me. Hes got a way
of unnerving me, as if he knows exactly why Im here.
He just grunts. Pipe is clogged in here, he says. You think
you can get it working again?
No problem at all, I say, figuring I can just pour some
scum-dissolving liquid down there and thatll be the end of it.
He grunts again and retreats into the TV room.
Two hours later, Im sitting in a tangle of greasy wrenches
and piping that I dont have any idea how I can fit it back
together again.
Chloe flitters in and out of the kitchen, having changed into
less revealing, but equally sexy clothing. She brings me glasses
of water from the other sink and gives me apologetic looks,
finally saying, You never should have agreed to help. This is the
sink thats already confounded five professional plumbers. No
one knows whats wrong with it.
Well Im going to figure it out, I say, aware of my own
idiotic stubbornness. But stubbornness is what got me ahead in
football. Stubbornness can do a lot for you, if you let it work for
Come here, she says, pulling me towards her.
She was so shy last night that this surprises me. I feel her
body against mine, hot and soft.
I kiss her, our mouths connecting. It feels fantastic.
Why dont we get out of here? she says. Lets go to the
I laugh. You really want me, dont you? I say. I cant help it.
This is just the way I talk to women. They usually love it.
She blushes deeply in her beautiful face. OK, she says.
But we both look around the kitchen, with the greasy pipes
spread out on crumpled newspapers.
I guess I should at least put this back the way it was, I say.
Another half an hour goes by, and then another, and pretty
soon its almost dark again. The sun is fading in the sky, but
inexplicably Ive somehow figured out how to get the pipes
working again. They must have had some horrible plumbers in
here, I think to myself.
Mr. Parsons grunts when I tell him the good news. Chloe is
feeding him his medicine by the spoonful, some kind of thick,
nasty smelling syrup.
We were going to head out for a while, is that OK, Dad? says
You dont have work? he grunts.
I have the week off for Thanksgiving, remember?
Where do you work? I say. I didnt know she was working.
At the movie theater, she says, shyly, as if shes
Hope you get to at least see a lot of free movies, I say, and
Mr. Parsons gives me a disapproving look before turning back to
the TV.
He doesnt look good. His eyes are sunken and there are huge
bags under his eyes. His hair is greasy, and his clothes are worn.
Im not sure if its because of poverty or his diminished energy
levels from the disease.
What does your dad have, again? I say, as we head out the
door to Chloes old car.
Kidney cancer, says Chloe.
Thats treatable, right? I say.
Yeah, says Chloe, cranking the engine. For a moment, it
doesnt sound like its going to turn over, but it finally does. I
know her dad hasnt been working for the last two years, and
that its been very hard on them financially. No doubt, they
dont have any money for a new car.
So thats good, right? Hes going to get better, then?
Hes already missing one kidney, says Chloe. He donated
it to my mom when she was sick. So the doctors say he doesnt
have much of a chance. In fact, they dont give him any odds at
Oh, I say, realizing its a dumb thing to say. I just dont
know what to say.
The atmosphere in the car feels heavy, depressed, and sad.
Lets drive around for a little, says Chloe.
Despite the news she just told me, I cant help but staring at
her, admiring every aspect of her. I look at the slope of her
breasts, sure, but also the way her face turns, the way the
autumn light glints off it.
Youre really beautiful, I say.
She doesnt say anything, and for a moment, Im worried.
This is unlike me, I think to myself. There must be something
different about her. With other girls, I dont worry about what
they think about me, whether or not they like me. I just know
they like me.
But with Chloe something feels more important, something
feels different.
Did I offend her by telling her shes beautiful right after she
told me her dad is dying?
Chloe pulls the car over to the side of the road. There are
some oak trees that line this road that still have their dead
leaves, but they look beautiful with the way the sun hits them.
Not nearly as beautiful as Chloe herself now.
But her silence worries me. Is she going to tell me to get out
of the car?
I dont know how to read her. Shes so ephemeral, so
mysterious in a way that Ive never encountered before.
Chloe turns off the engine and now she turns to me.
To my surprise, she leans in and starts kissing me, full on
make out level.
I kiss her back, of course. Her hands are all over me, feeling
my big muscles. Ive got my hands up her shirt, caressing her
breasts over the top of her bra. A second later, Ive got the bra
unbuckledIm quite practiced in this, to say the least.
Normally, Id take it slow, but shes going strong already.
Her hand brushes up against my crotch, coming into brief
contact with my cock thats rock hard and erect. It doesnt
matter that I masturbated this morning, jerking off to her. Just
the sight of her gets me so hard I think my cock might burst
through my jeans.
This is such a change from how shy she was last night.
But, yup, shes still Chloe, hot and sexy Chloe, the new Chloe
with curves all over that drive me insane.
Let me see it, she says, breathless, her breasts rising and
What? I say, a twinkle undoubtedly in my eyes.
Your cock, she says, barely able to contain her excitement.
Here? I say, looking around the empty street. But its still a
residential street. There arent a lot of houses, but there are
Ive got the famous womanizing linebacker worried? she
says, giggling. Arent you supposed to be fearless?
Youre supposed to be the shy one, I mutter.
Shes reaching towards my cock and my belt buckle falls away
with a minor clattering sound. Shes unzipping my jeans and my
cock jumps out, hard as a rock.
She stares at it for a moment, wide eyed.
Its beautiful, she says, breathless.
Ive forgotten all about where we are, that were out on the
street in her car. Ive forgotten all her family problems, and Ive
forgotten that Im headed back to college in a couple days, while
she has to stay here rotting in this town, working at the movie
theater, some dead end job, taking care of her dying dad. What
does her future hold for her?
All I can concentrate on now is how hot she is, how hot her
reaction to my cock is.
Her hands are on my cock, her fingers wrapping around it,
and it feels just too good.
She unbuckles herself, the belt falling away from her, letting
her breasts free.
As she leans over me, her breasts push up against my knees,
and she takes my thick cock in her beautiful mouth. She tightens
her lips around me, and I gasp despite myself.

H is cock is so hard, so thick, so long. It completely fills my

mouth. It has a salty, delicious taste. I never thought Id
like the taste of cock. Ive had sex before, but Ive never had a
cock in my mouth. Never before have I actually wanted it. But
now I have this overwhelming desire in my body that just drives
me towards his cock like a magnet, like nothing else in the
world, like some incredible universal force.
Oh yeah, Chloe, grunts Dan. Youre so hot, Chloe.
I dont know what happened to me, but today the shyness
faded away from me, replaced only with lust, with serious desire
for Dan and his hard muscular body and his thick cock.
My hand is around the base of his cock, and the rest is in my
mouth. Im bobbing my head up and down, my hair falling
around him. My other hand is resting on his naked thigh, feeling
his strong sinewy muscles there, so massive and so hot.
Shit, says Dan suddenly, sounding worried. Chloe, Chloe.
He taps me on the shoulder and I reluctantly pull my head off his
With a furiously fast motion, Dan is zipping up his pants,
stowing his massive cock away with some difficulty, since its
still rock hard.
What is it? I say, scanning the road through the windows.
Then I see it. Its a car driving slowly towards us.
Shit, I say, suddenly my shyness and worry coming back to
Its OK, says Dan, in a soothing voice. Its not the cops,
and anyway they all like me, I think.
The car gets closer and closer, driving slower and slower, but I
still cant see who the driver is and whether or not theyre
looking at us.
Shit, says Dan, suddenly. I recognize that car. Its Mr.
Oh shit, I think to myself. Mr. Bach was the strictest teacher
at our high school.
He always hated me, says Dan.
The car is an ancient wood-paneled station wagon. It stops
right at my car, the drivers window rolling down.
Mr. Bachs ancient mean head, with his pepper grey hair,
sticks out of his windows.
Dont think Im an idiot, he says. I remember in high
school he was always saying that. Dont think I dont know
what you two are up to.
Hi, Jim, says Dan, jovially.
Its still Mr. Bach, to you, Dan, says Mr. Bach. Even if you
have graduated from high school. Although I dont know how
you got out. What are you doing? Working in a car wash?
Scholarship to college, says Dan, brightly and defiantly.
You better get going, says Mr. Bach. Im calling the cops
now, and dont think that theyre all your fans, Dan. Jimmy
Gecker is an officer now, and he was one of my favorite
Hows old Jimmy doing? says Dan, still smiling defiantly.
I groan inwardly. Jimmy Gecker was the biggest suck up ever,
and he always loved getting everyone he could into trouble, no
matter how minor the offense.
Id be driving along, if I were you, Ms. Parsons, says Mr.
Bach. Ugh, I cant believe he remembers me. And if I were you, I
wouldnt be hanging around with a low life like Dan. You were a
good student, Ms. Parsons. Always quiet and obedient.
He rolls his window up and I start the car again.
Dan gives me a grin.
That wasnt too bad, he says.
But Mr. Bach and his old station wagon doesnt leave it with
that. Instead, he makes a U-turn and follows us all through the
streets, no matter what route I take.
Looks like hes determined not to let us have any fun, says
I should be getting back to my dad, anyway, I say, checking
the cars clock. I need to give him his medicine.
Come on, says Dan. Lets go somewhere. Im sure we can
lose this creep. You just might have to drive a little faster, thats
all. Cant he take his medicine himself?
I shake my head. Sorry, I say. Ive got to be there. I have to
write it in the log and everything and he never does it on his
own. I think he just wants to die.
That puts a damper on the whole amorous mood of the car,
for sure.
We drive silently through the streets.
I still want to see you again, says Dan, as I pull up to his
I want to see you again, too, I say.
I notice that his cock is still rock hard in his jeans, creating an
unmistakably huge bulge.
It seems like we keep getting interrupted, says Dan,
flashing me his famous smile, with all his teeth shining like the
moon, but a sexy moon.
I know Im not making sense to myself in my head, but his
sexiness, his masculinity completely overwhelm me.
I feel my heart leaping out towards him, but theres already a
sadness here inside me.
After all, it seems like I cant get away from sadness. First my
mom died, and now my dad is certainly going to die.
This is fun, messing around with Dan like this, in the car. It
hasnt been since prom, when I was 18, that I did anything with a
guy. It gives me an escape from my dreary life. After all, I work a
dead end job, Im not in college, and Im caring for my grumpy,
dying dad. I understand why hes grumpy. He doesnt have
anything to look forward to.
Dan is my thing to look forward to, my thing to long for and
dream of.
And he awakens parts of my body I didnt even know I had.
But hes headed back to college, hours away from me. Hes
headed back to college, where hes undoubtedly the king of the
school, just like he was in high school.
If I were in college, too, would he even look at me? Would he
even be interested in me?
How long can anything with him last, since were going to be
hours apart, with such different lives?
Ive followed his career ever since he left for college. Its true,
Ive always had a crush on him. Every major sports paper says
hes bound for the pros.
What does that mean will become of us? Hes not going to
take me with him on his crazy celebrity lifestyle in the pros, the
one hes bound to have, the one hes headed for.
But why do I have to think so far into the future? We arent
even an us yet, and I dont know if thats even going to
You still there, Chloe? says Dan, laughing.
Oh, I say, as he startles me out of my cascading daydream
thoughts. Yeah.
Anyway, says Dan. If Glecker is a cop, we cant rely on the
cops giving us a free pass. And we keep getting interrupted. Why
dont we get a hotel? Well each sneak out at midnight, when
everyone else is asleep.
A hotel? I say.
I mean, I was just grabbing his cock, and I was just sucking on
his cock. But a hotel means were definitely going all the way.
As soon as I think of this, my body responds. I can already
almost imagine what it will feel like to have his hard cock deep
inside me.
Id love to, I say, just as Dans parents appear at the door.
His mom comes over to the car, peering at me over her
reading glasses.
Hes not giving you a hard time, is he? she says.
I shake my head and blush. Hes been very gentlemanly.
She scoffs. I dont believe it for a second, she says, peering
disapprovingly at her son.
Tomorrow night, mouths Dan at me as he disappears into
the house.
I head back to my dads, and give him his medicine and make
all the marks I need to on all his charts.
I frown as I look over the latest report by the doctor. My dads
not doing well, and everythings getting worse. In particular, his
one remaining kidney is beginning to shut down. The doctor
cautions in his written report that my dad might not have much
time left at all.
Hes going to die. Im going to lose him. I dont know what Ill
Tears start falling down my cheeks as I put away the dropper
for one of my dads medicines, making sure to screw the top all
the way back on.
Whats the matter, Chloe? says my dad, the gruffness
momentarily gone from his voice.
Its nothing, Dad, I say.
Come on, Chloe, he says. Youre worried about me?
Yeah, I say, sitting down next to him on the battered couch.
My dad switches off the TV.
Im sorry to watch so much of this garbage, he says. I
just Im scared to, Chloe. I dont want to face the end. I just
want distraction.
Dad I say. Thats horrible
My dad shrugs. We all deal with death differently, he says.
Ive never been a very spiritual person. It is what it is. But,
Chloe, and youve got to listen to me. I dont want the same
thing to happen to you. I dont want you to live your life running
away from things. If you want something, youve got to get it.
Just go out and get it. Take life by the balls, if youll excuse the
But his expression makes me laugh, the laughter driving the
tears away from my eyes.
My cell phone rings at me.
It can wait, I say.
Get it, says my dad. Maybe its your new boyfriend.
I give him a surprised look. How did he know Im interested in
Dan? My dad can be more perceptive than he seems, especially
when hes all grumpy and grumbling at everything.
My dad just winks at me.
Go on, he says. Answer it. Hes smiling at me. His face
seems absent of any fear. For this moment, it seems that he
doesnt fear death.
I answer the phone without looking at it, sure that its Dan.
My heart almost skips a beat when I think of Dan calling me. I
cant wait to talk to him, and greedily swipe my finger across the
screen, answering it.
Chloe? Is that you? Listen, its Tami. Weve got a situation
Tami, I think to myself, damnit. Thats about the furthest I
could get from Dan. I groan inwardly, already knowing that shes
going to ask me to come in tomorrow, or even tonight if Im
really unlucky.
Tim and John both called out, she says. Im in a bind here,
Chloe. Marge quit today without any notice. I need you to come
in tomorrow. Im covering tonight, but please, I need you to
work all tomorrow.
Marge? I didnt even know there was someone named Marge
who worked at the movie theater.
I want to tell Tami to go screw herself. I really do. Shes
always pulling this garbage with me. The only reason people are
quitting and calling out in droves is because shes so mean and
But I need the money. I glance over at my dad.
His illness has made me much more practical, much more
pragmatically minded. I know that once hes gone, selling the
house will pay off his medical debts and not much else. Im
going to be on my own and Im going to need money if I dont
want to be on the street. And without a college degree, Im going
to have a hard time of getting a job that pays well.
I might as well save up all the money I can now.
Fine, I say. Ill be there for opening tomorrow.
And closing too? says Tami, a pleading tone in her voice.
But dont be fooled. She can be nasty when she needs to.
I think of Dan, and our midnight rendezvous, realizing that I
wont be able to make it.
But I can tell him to wait for me, right?
Sure, I say. Ill be there, Tami. Ill work the double shift.
Great, says Tami. Now that shes got what she wants from
me, the semi-sweet pleading tones of her voice drop away and
she simply hangs up the phone.
Looks like Ive got to work tomorrow, I say. All day.
My dads gone back to his TV world, retreating into a place
where he feels secure and safe, away from the world, where he
can let his mind wander in this fantasy world.
Im going to bed, I mumble and head up to my room.
I strip off my clothes. Its chilly in the house, because we
dont want to waste money paying for heat, which has gotten
much more expensive.
In my underwear, I crawl into bed, without changing into my
pajamas. First, of course, I turn off the light.
My head on my pillow, I stare at the ceiling, and my thoughts
turn to Dan, and the way his cock felt in my hand, and in my
I slip my hand under the elastic band of my underwear, and I
feel myself. Im ready for his cock right now. My breathing is
going ragged.
In my minds eye, I picture what his cock looks like. I cant
wait to see his naked body, hard and muscular, right before me. I
cant wait to feel him on top of me, pressing his weight down
onto me, pressing himself into me.
My breathing grows more ragged as I begin to orgasm, the
pleasure washing through me. I want to moan out loud, but I
keep my mouth closed, keeping my noises to myself as I squirm
under the covers. The cold air feels good and calming on my face,
and when the pleasure fades away from me, I pull the covers
back to cool off a little.

I cant stop thinking about her. Last night, I jerked myself off
furiously to the thought of her mouth on my cock earlier
that day.
But despite relieving myself, I wake up with the biggest and
stiffest morning wood of my life. I simply dont have a choice but
to give myself some relief. I cant be walking around all day with
this kind of wood in my pants. So I close my eyes and the hottest
thing I can possibly think of is still Chloe, with her mouth
around my cock. I wonder what its going to be like to get inside
her, to be on top of her, to fuck her, to be between her legs, to
bury my hard cock in her sweet pussy?
I come in no time, my fist working furiously away at my cock.
You just have to wait until tonight, I tell myself. I check my
cell phones clock, and remind myself that its just a little less
than fifteen hours.
My cell phone beeps at me.
Have to work late tonight, reads a text message from
Chloe. (We exchanged numbers yesterday.) But I can meet you
there at one, I think.
No problem, I write back, adding a smiley face, although
Im not sure why. Im not the type of guy who normally uses
smiley faces. I add a kissy face and a heart for good measure.
Shit, that looks lame, I think to myself.
In college, I dont need to go to this much effort to sleep with
someone. They simply come to me, sometimes knocking on my
door in the middle of the night.
But Chloe isnt like that. Chloe is special. Theres something
about her that attracts me so much to her and I cant explain
what it is. She drives me absolutely crazy, and she drives my
cock crazy, making it harder than its ever been before, making
me simply ache for her and her body. My cock aches to be inside
Id better head downstairs before I get another erection. My
cocks already getting a little stiff again.
My parents have gone away on errands, leaving a note on the
Thats just like them, I think to myself. Even though Im just
home for less than a week, theyve still got their own stuff to do
thats more important than spending time with me.
Whatever, I think to myself. This means Ive got the place to
I make a mess of the kitchen, frying up some steaks, bacon,
liver, and eggs for breakfast. I wash the whole thing down with a
quart of milk and a couple of glasses of orange juice.
Coach says I need to work on my diet. He says I need more
power if I want to go pro. But I know Im going to go pro no
matter what. I still have a couple more years in which I can grow
even bigger, getting even stronger, so long as I keep working out.
I clean the dishes and I have an hour to kill before my work
out. I try to open some of my school textbooks, but the words on
the page seem to swim away from me. Normally, I dont have
any problems studying, but my mind keeps wandering back to
Chloe. Chloe, Chloe, Chloe. Shes stuck in my head like an
earworm, a catchy melody that you cant get out of your head.
Time for the workout.
I head into the basement, where my old weights from high
school are still there. My dad bought them for me, and once in a
while hell use them himself, but not often.
I study the weight for a moment, then pull off my shirt. I
glance at my reflection in the mirror thats there to study my
weight lifting form. Not bad, I think to myself, flexing a little.
Chloes going to like this, I think to myself, studying my
Come on, man, cant you think about something else for a
After all, youve got plenty of football games coming up. Its
important to keep up with the training even though youre at
home. I tell this all to myself like a little mental lecture.
After warm ups, I do bench presses, three sets of 10 each,
with 80% of my max, with my shirt off. This doesnt even get me
sweating, though.
With my back lying on the weight lifting bench, the iron bar
above me, I can feel my cock swelling. I glance down and see it
poking up massively, creating a huge tent in my work out shorts.
Shit, I think to myself. I cant continue my workout with a
hard on like this.
Theres an old trick that all virile guys like myself use, and
use often.
Before a date, when youre particularly excited about a girl,
its a good idea to jerk off a few times ahead of the date. Some
just jerk off once, and theres enough for them, to keep them
from getting too excited.
For me, I happen to have a very high sex drive. Probably goes
along with being muscular and fit and young.
I cant think of anyone else but Chloe, of course.
I have a good visual memory, but its not as good as pictures,
so I head online to her social media profile and pull up some
pictures of her from the last couple months.
There are just a couple, and honestly it doesnt look like shes
been doing much more than working, but theres a picture of her
wearing her movie theater uniform, which is a tight shirt that
shows off her breasts and her hips.
I slide my hand into my shorts, and then, frustrated already, I
slide my shorts down while still lying shirtless on the workout
Propping my phone up on the floor, I stare at it, and start
working away at my cock.
With Chloes picture in front of me, its not long before I
explode into an old rag that I promptly throw out.
I should be ready for tonight, I think to myself.
I do two sets of heavy weight squats, all the way down to the
ground each time, my ass almost hitting the floor.
When Im done with my workout, I hit the shower and let the
steam pile up around me, relaxing my tired muscles.
Then its time for another meal. I have to laugh at myself.
Sometimes it feels like all I do is eat, play football, and lift
weights. Well, that and party, of course.
But someone like Chloe could open up new possibilities for
me, new things to do.
Im surprised at myself, really surprised, because in my head
Im imagining all sorts of possibilities with Chloe, like going on
dates together, going to dinner at fancy restaurants, and when
the weather is better, hanging out in the park.
But shes going to be here at home, a townie, and Im going to
be at college, playing football constantly. Im even supposed to
be there for the summer months, for training.
Its even unusual that I actually have Thanksgiving break off.
Its just the way the football schedule worked out this year. In
general, I have to spend all my time at school practicing and
playing games, training, weightlifting, meeting with CoachI
dont have the luxury like other students of heading home often
for the holidays.
But maybe she can come visit me at school, I think to myself,
my naked cock growing hard in the shower, just from thinking
about her.
Damnit, I think to myself, looking down at my cock. My body
really cant wait until tonight.
I towel myself off out of the shower, turning off the water. My
naked cock is still hard.
Before I can get dressed again, my phone rings.
Its Coach.
Its not good when Coach calls you on Thanksgiving break.
Whats up, Coach? I say, using my dry hand to answer the
Johnson says you two have been having words, says Coach.
Nice to talk to you too, Coach, I say. How was
Coach grunts disapprovingly. I dont want to hear any more
that you and Johnson are arguing. I dont want to hear anything
about fighting. Youre on the same team, and youve got to work
Coach hangs up the phone. I can almost picture him in his
cramped little office, slamming the phone down, surrounded
only by his old trophies and the dust of the last few decades.
This makes me angry, really angry.
Fucking Johnson! Why did he have to go squealing to Coach?
Just because he cant throw a ball properly, and he has to go
ahead and blame me when the plays go to shit? Im going to
show him whats what when I get back to campus.
That little piece of
Damnit, come on, man, I say to myself. Get ahold of yourself.
I take a couple deep breaths, and then I get dressed. Im
calmer and still hanging around the house, reading the playbook,
for something to do. Ive already got the whole thing
memorized. No one takes football more seriously than I do.
I know Im going to make pro because Ive got talent, natural
talent, and Ive got luck. But Im also working my ass off. No one
works harder than I do during training. When the other guys are
going 50%, Im going 100%, pretending as if Im actually in a
Thats probably why Johnson has such a problem with me. He
likes to just laze around during practice and not really put
everything into it, and I cant stand that attitude.
I cant stop thinking about Chloe. She rushes back into my
mind, despite all his bullshit football drama.
Her soft breasts I can almost feel them against me.
I need her, I need her lips on me. I need her mouth wrapped
around my cock again.
Im going to go see her, I decide, making a split second
decision. I wouldnt mind getting a look at her in that movie
theater uniform, in person, that is.
I have an old American-built convertible that I restored
myself when I was in high school. Hard to believe I havent even
taken it out for a spin yet, but thats what happens when youre
obsessed with someone like Chloe. I had just gotten home that
Thanksgiving dinner, and she was already in my house. I
couldnt think about something like a car after seeing the
woman that shed become.
The engine roaring, I cruise through the dead tree streets of
fall, in our tiny suburban town. The movie theater is on Main
Street, which runs right down the middle of the town. Thats
where we used to hang out a lot in middle school, but I havent
been there in a long time.
Its one of those old style classic movie theaters, right from
the 1930s, with a golden placard on the front that announces the
movies. Amazing that they havent yet torn this place down to
make way for the huge mega theaters. Amazing that business is
still going strong.
I park my car and get out.
I can see her through the window, standing behind the ticket
booths glass window. Sure enough, her uniform is pulled tight
around her. I wonder if its even the right size for her? Either
way, I love the way it looks on her.
Her hair is up in a bun, showcasing the beauty of her face.
Ive never seen anyone this beautiful, I think to myself.

H ey there, says Dan, suddenly in front of me.

Which movie? I say automatically, without
thinking, and then burst into laughter.
You really want to sell movies, eh? says Dan.
I guess so, I say. Im just programmed to say that now.
Anyway, says Dan. I just wanted to stop by and say hi.
Hi, I say, dumbly. That was a dumb thing to say, I think to
But hes still here talking to me, still staring right into my
eyes through the plate glass window.
Youre so beautiful, says Dan.
Thanks, I say, grinning.
We still on for tonight? says Dan.
I nod shyly, but with a grin on my face.
Dan buys a ticket to some action flick, which Ive already
forgotten the name of, since the movies all seem to blend
together, and he disappears into the theater and I lose track of
The shift seems like it goes on forever and ever, and then of
course theres the second shift coming around to ram me in the
back. Even though Im expecting it, its tough.
I check my cell phone for the time when Im finally done, and
groan as I see that Im late for meeting Dan. This is the one thing
I was looking forward to. Look forward to, doesnt really cover
it. More like dying to have his huge cock inside me
The whole place is mopped, the windows spotless, all the cash
deposited in the safe. Im sweating from the exertion and I step
outside into the dark night, locking the theater behind me. I get
chills on my skin from the cooling sweat.
Hey there, stranger, says Dan, from where hes leaning
against the theaters outdoor brick wall.
He startles me, and I almost jump out of my skin.
Shit, you scared me, I say, my heart pounding in my chest.
I dont think Ive ever heard Ms. Chloe swear ever, says
I laugh. I can say a lot more, I say. Whyd you call me Ms.
He shrugs. Just seemed funny.
I laugh again.
So we still on for tonight? says Dan.
I laugh. Of course, I say. If you still are, that is.
What do you mean by that? says Dan. Ive been waiting for
it all day.
I suddenly feel nervous. Theres no chance that well be
interrupted this time. No chance that anything can go wrong.
But this is what I want. I want Dan.
Just standing here in the cold, so close to his body, it turns me
on like nothing else. His body awakens my body I want him
like nothing else Ive ever wanted, like nothing else Ive ever
yearned or longed for.
Did you stay here the whole time? I say. You came to the
ticket window like 9 hours ago, during my first shift.
I saw a couple movies, chuckles Dan, showing me his one
ticket stub.
I laugh. You bastard! I say. You cheated the movie theater,
didnt you? Sneaking into movie after movie?
Dan shrugs and gives me a cheeky smile. I just wanted to be
close to you.
I slap him on the arm, giggling.
Whose car should we take? he says.
I think for a moment.
I guess we should both drive, I say. Ill follow you to the
hotel, OK? I cant have my car staying here in front of the theater
all night. People will ask questions.
We kiss briefly, but its still hot and heavy and passionate,
before saying goodbye.
I follow him in his car along the dark roads, towards the hotel
on the outskirts of the town, out towards where the mall is.
Its darker out here, with less streetlights. I can see the stars
above, but Im not thinking about that. Im not thinking about
my job or my parents or that Im not in college like I should be,
considering I was top of my class.
Im not thinking about any of that. Im thinking about Dan,
and only Dan.
Im thinking about his body, his hard muscles, the way he
looks at me, the way his arms feel around me. And Im thinking
about how his huge cock is going to feel inside me.
The drive goes by as if in a daydream, me imagining what
Dans going to do to me, how its going to feel. Im already ready,
my body already hot and ready for him by the time we pull into
the parking lot.
We check in together, holding hands, giggling because we
dont have any luggage.
Im embarrassed, I say, rushing down the hallway with Dan
away from reception.
Who cares what they think? says Dan, putting his arm
around me.
The moment that he puts the keycard in the door feels
momentous to me. It feels as if time is standing still.
I have a brief worry flash through me: this feels like a huge
moment for me. I hope it does for him too. Or is he used to this
kind of thing? Is this just some fun hes having for
Thanksgiving, while at home on vacation? Is he going to return
to school and do just the same exact thing with a hundred other
girls, who all love him because hes a football star?
But the worries vanish as we enter the room.
To me, compared to my run down old house, this simple hotel
room is luxurious.
I flop on the bed and Dan stands in front of me, smiling down
at me.
Let me see that big cock of yours, I say, my eyes surely
twinkling as I say it.
Dan chuckles. I didnt think you could talk like that, he
I bet there are a lot of things I can do that you dont know, I
say, in my best seductive tones.
Dan falls on top of me. It feels perfect having his body over
me. I open my legs and even though were fully clothed, he lies
between my legs. I wrap them around him as we make out.
His hands are on my sides, moving gently.
Slowly, his hands move towards my breasts.
I want you so much, I say, breathless. I want you inside
me already.
Dan doesnt need to hear it twice.
I wanted it to be slow, I say in a frantic whisper. But now
that youre here I just cant wait.
Im not sure what Im saying makes sense because of how
excited I am, how much I want his cock.
I reach underneath him, squishing my hands between both of
our bodies, and I reach into his pants without unzipping them
and grab his cock in my hands.
Its even bigger than I remember it and harder.
I gasp as I squeeze it and we continue to make out heavily.
Now, Dans mouth is moving down my neck, kissing me
gently, nibbling at my ear.
But I want it to go faster. And he does too. I cant wait. Im
simply too desperate.
Were throwing our clothes off, trying to get out of them as
fast as we can, separating our bodies for the brief moments that
we need to be apart in order to take our clothes off.
Ive got my clothes off first and Dans sitting up on the bed
now, and I unzip his pants and pull out his cock.
Since weve in the sitting up position, I figure I might as well
go down on him. His cock draws my mouth towards it like a
magnet, after all.
I put my hands flat on his thick, muscular thighs and I
swallow up his cock.
That feels so good, growls Dan, his voice having grown
intensely deep and masculine.
He starts thrusting into my mouth, picking his muscular ass
off the bed to do so, as I bend over him, my naked breasts falling
against his legs.
I use one hand to massage the base of his cock, gently and
now harder.
I need you inside me, I say.
You cant get enough of me, can you? growls Dan, looking
me dead in the eyes, as I stare up at him with his cock in my
I shake my head guiltily and grin at him with my eyes.
But first, says Dan. Im going to have to taste you. Get on
the bed on your back.
Its a struggle to take his cock out of my mouth. After all, his
cock is throbbing, pulsating in my mouth, and Ive never tasted
anything so good. He smells musky, and his cock tastes salty and
manly. Something about it just calls to me just drives me wild
with how much of a man he is.
Hes gripping my legs with his hands now, and his head is
between my legs, which are spread wide apart. Im flat on my
back on the cushy mattress thats more luxurious than anything
Im used to.
But Im not aware of the mattress or the room around me. All
Im aware of is Dans head between my legs, and his tongue
getting closer and closer to my pussy.
Hes running his tongue up my thighs delicately, and now he
makes the lightest contact with the area just outside
His tongue is moving in different ways, and I never know
what to expect. Hes moving lightly though, always making just
enough contact, using his tongue expertly and gently. Hes not
trying to use his tongue as an object of penetration, and hes not
just lapping at me. Hes being gentle and subtle, listening and
understanding my body and responding to it, responding to
every movement and breath I make.
I gasp as his tongue touches upon my most delicate spot,
making light passes, constantly changing the way he uses it.
Im breathing heavily now, my breasts rising and falling. My
back is arching involuntarily and my eyes close as my head looks
backwards towards the ceiling.
Oh, Dan, I moan, completely involuntarily.
Ive never felt this much pleasure before, and Ive never felt
this much longing for someone.
Dan has it allthe hot body, the muscles, the huge cock, the
technique, the passion, and the most important thing of all
that inexplicable thing that I cant describe. Theres just
something special about him that I cant place. Oh, theres also
the way he looks at me, the way he kisses me, and the way he
licks me. I know for sure that he wants me more than anyone
else hes ever wanted. His whole body just sends this message.
Just as I think the pleasure cant increase anymore, just as Im
starting to completely forget the outside world forever, Dan
takes it up a notch. He puts a finger inside me, delicately at first.
Now hes moving it back and forth and curling his finger inside
me, making me cringe with pleasure that shoots through me.
Im going to come, I moan. Im going to come, Dan, I
say. I want to warn him. I want him to put his cock into me now,
because Ive never come more than once during sex, ever. In
fact, Im not even sure Ive actually had a proper orgasm before.
If I have, they were few and very far between.
Good, growls Dan, taking his tongue away from me for just
a second. I want you to come. Come hard for me, baby.
That sends me over the edge. He wants me to come! No one
else has ever expressed a serious interest in making me feel
good. The other guy (yeah, there might have only been one,
although Im a little embarrassed to admit it, considering what
the other girls my age I know have been up to) had a cursory
interest in making me feel good. But it stopped at that, and the
most important thing for the other guy was just to get his dick
wet, just to get it inside me, just to fill his condom with his
It was disappointing, to say the least.
Dans nothing like that at all. Dans everything I could have
dreamed up.
Time seems to slow down as I approach orgasm. The waves of
pleasure are only increasing, and I know that Im reaching the
peak now. Quite soon Just a couple more seconds.
Dans licking me furiously now, in exactly the right way.
My entire body is writhing and he clamps his strong hands
around my thighs to hold my legs in place so that he can keep
licking me, so that he can keep driving me wild.
I come, the orgasm exploding through me, sending shivers
down my spine. It makes me feel so many sensations at once. A
warm bubble gum feeling erupts in my chest and around my
groin. It absolutely explodes in pleasure.
My eyes close involuntarily. The last thing I see is Dans face
buried between my legs. But my vision was getting intensely
blurry with the orgasm. No point in keeping my eyes open, even
if I could.
The orgasm doesnt end, it just dies down. My moans and
screams echo through the room until the pleasure finally
decreases enough that I can speak over my own noises. My heart
is beating as fast as it can. My breathing is rapid. My body feels
Was this my first real orgasm?
When I can finally speak again, I only have one thing to say.
I need your cock inside me, I say.
Dan flashes me a grin.
Hes taking a condom from his pants on the floor. Hes not
fumbling with it at all. He pulls it up and unwraps it onto his
cock expertly.
I like it, I say, giggling. Its a bright blue condom, but his
cock looks just as sexy with it on.
His cock is harder than it was yesterday, and, if possible, even
bigger. The head is enormous.
Ive got my hand on it now, wrapping my fist around the
condom. Theres a bit of lube on it, and my hand moves up and
down his huge shaft easily.
Back on your back, growls Dan.
I get onto my back, because I was sitting up a little in order to
fondle his cock.
I spread my legs wide open. Im as ready as I ever have been
for cock, for Dans cock.
The head pushes up against me, and that alone makes me
groan, just this slight contact. His cock is impossibly hard,
impossibly swollen.
Dan grunts as he pushes his cock slowly into me.
Holy fuck!
It fills me up in ways I could have never possibly imagined.
Its hugely thick. I was underestimating the girth of his cock
when it was outside me, even when I had my hand on it.
Oh, Dan, I moan, unable to say anything else.
My moans must tell the whole story though.
Ive got a hand on my breast, massaging it, and now Dans
strong hand comes down and works at my breast too, moving it
somehow in just the ways I like, playing with my nipple.
Dans huge, muscular body feels so good on top of me. Hes
holding some of his weight up with one of his hands, but he lets
much of his weight fall onto me, and it feels good, delicious. I
feel secure underneath him. His chiseled abdominal muscles are
writhing as he thrusts his hips, pumping his cock slowly into
Slowly, in time with my moans, he continues to thrust into
me, and now he starts picking up the pace, impossibly slowly in
a way that drives me crazy.
The pleasure waves are coursing through me, from the tips of
my toes to the ends of my hair, pulsating through me in every
which way.
Dans pumping his cock into me faster now, and soon hes
going full speed.
The pleasure is intense. I cant believe it feels this good. It
was nothing like this before. This is something completely
different, a completely different sexual world.
Dans grunting and saying hot things to me.
Hes leaning down, his head nestled next to my neck and my
ear. Hes whispering into my ear.
I love fucking you, baby, he says, his voice throaty and
All I can do is moan and bite his neck slightly.
He doesnt let up his fucking.
My body is rocking back and forth with his thrusting.
Im going to turn over, I manage to say between my moans.
I hope youre going to make even more noises like this,
growls Dan, referencing my screams and my moans.
Im flat on my stomach, my breasts pressed into the bed.
Dans above me, my legs squeezed together. I can feel his
heavy weight on me even as he supports himself on his elbows.
Oh shit, says Dan suddenly, in a worried tone.
What is it? I say, my voice low and full of pleasure. I just
want his cock back inside me. My body is craving it, dying for it.
The condom tore, says Dan. Ive never had this happen
I want his cock so much. I cant believe hes worried about
such a silly thing as a little condom.
Its fine, I say. Dont worry about it.
Youre sure? says Dan, a greedy tone to his voice.
Just do it, I say.
I dont think I can get pregnant. After all, there are only a
couple days a month that Id be fertile, right? Only a couple days
a month that I could get pregnant. What are the chances?
Its not like I track my cycles, but its been a while since my
period, so thats good, right? I suddenly wish Id paid a little
more attention in health class. I cant remember exactly how
that all works, the fertility cycles and everything.
But the thought only lasts a brief second and then its gone.
The only thing I can think about is Dans massive cock and
getting it back inside me. Plus, its going to feel even better
without the condom, Im sure of it. Ive never had sex before
without a condom but Im dying for it, breathless for his naked
cock to be inside, waiting and longing for our naked flesh to
touch so closely.
Its fine, I say, moaning. Put it in, Dan, baby. I need to
have your cock inside me. Take off the condom.
Dan pulls off the remains of the condom with a snap and I
hear it lightly hitting the carpet of the hotel floor.
The next moment Dans naked cock is inside me from behind.
Oh my God! It feels even better than it did when I was on my
Hes hitting a completely different spot. Maybe this is the G-
spot, the famous and mystical and possibly mythical G-spot that
Ive heard so much about but never thought actually existed, at
least not in me.
Another powerful thrust later, with all of Dans weight and
muscular power behind it, and theres no doubt in my mind that
this is the fabled G-spot hes hitting.
Dan is grunting and growling as he thrusts into me from
His condom-less cock is everything I could have imagined
and a lot more. Its ridiculously smooth inside me, and hes
going ridiculously fast and hard, putting all his power into it with
each thrust, despite how fast they are.
The orgasm in me is building.
My moans have turned into screams. Theres nothing like
My vision is starting to blur around the edges. All I can see is
the covers of the hotel bed in front of me, but Ive completely
forgotten where we are, that were in a hotel, that Im on a hotel
bed. None of those things matter now. Theyre just superficial
details. The only important thing is that Dan is inside me, that
his huge cock is inside me and that hes pounding away with all
his might.
My toes curl and my back arches against his weight.
I turn my head to look at him. He kisses me deeply, and in
this moment I start to come out of nowhere. This is much, much
more intense than the last orgasm, the sensations flooding
through me, completely filling up my body.
Dans pounding and pounding into me. Id say hes going
frantically, because of how fast hes thrusting, but hes actually
doing it so well and putting so much power behind it that I cant
call it frantic. In fact, hes still incredibly deliberate, despite his
My screams are echoing around the world. Dans hot breath,
his rapid breathing, is sexy and right in my ear. He bites my ear
gently and then licks it, and kisses my neck as my body rocks
and writhes underneath his with the power of his thrusts.
Its an incredible sensation getting pounded like this while
still in the throes of an intense orgasm. Theres nothing like this
in the world, I think to myself, my only coherent thought before
the pleasure completely takes hold of me.
Im going to come, grunts Dan. Im going to pull out.
He doesnt yet slow down. Hes waiting until the last minute.
I know he can do it, I know he has the technique and the control
to come outside on something else, and not inside me.
But in this moment the idea of his cock leaving me is painful.
I never want this moment to end and I never want his cock to
leave my body. I want his cock to stay hard and stay in my pussy,
lodged deep inside me forever, until the end. I never want to part
with him.
No, I cry out. Dont take it out. I want you to come in me.
Come inside me, baby. Its OK.
Dan seems to hesitate for a moment, but then he grunts an
OK before continuing his rapid and strong thrusts.
Im at the tail end of my orgasm right now, if it even has one.
It feels like the intense waves of pleasure are never going to end.
Dan gives me one final thrust as his cock starts to pulsate
inside me, throbbing. I can feel every inch of it completely. I can
feel the thick girth of it pulsating against me, the naked flesh
feeling so, so good.
His cock erupts and floods me. His cock stays here, buried up
to the base of his cock, shoved deep inside me, as deep as it can
I love being filled up completely like this, his cock not only
stretching me with its girth, but penetrating me deeper and
farther than anything I could have imagined.
I love the feeling of it as he shoots load after load of come into
me, depositing his seed deep inside me.

W e lay still on the bed, cuddled together, both completely

That was the best sex Ive ever had, I say.
Me too, says Chloe, cooing softly into my ear.
Were talking in hushed romantic tones, whispers that belie
the sounds and screams that were issued from the room only a
few minutes before.
You sure its OK that I didnt use a condom? I say.
Its fine, says Chloe.
Shes just returned from the bathroom where she cleaned up
a little.
Her hair is wild and she looks hotter than ever. Some guys say
they dont have interest in a woman after they have sex with her,
but with Chloe its completely different. I only want to spend
more time with her now.
Her makeup has worn off slightly, but she looks even hotter
without it, not that she wore much of it before.
Youre so beautiful, I say, stroking her softly on her cheek.
So are you, she says, making me smile. No woman has ever
called me beautiful before. Theyve called me a lot of other
things, not all of them nice. Hey, on campus, I have a bit of a
reputation already.
But Chloes the one for me. Im not going to be messing
around anymore. Shes the one I want. I have no interest in
anyone but her.
I was thinking you could come visit me at college
sometime, I say.
Id really like that, says Chloe, kissing me gently on the
mouth. I just need to get some time off. And my Dad
Oh yeah, I say, my heart suddenly feeling heavy and sad.
Im really sorry about that I wish there was something I could
do. I dont know what to say, Chloe.
Its OK, says Chloe, a single tear coming out of her eye.
You dont need to say anything.
But its not OK, I say. Its not fair that you have to say here
in town while everyone else goes to college. You were the
smartest student in our class. You should be at some crazy
university for smart people.
She laughs. Youre pretty smart yourself, she says.
I smile at her. Not like you are, though, I say.
We lay in the bed for another half hour, not speaking, just
cuddling, just enjoying the sensation of our bodies naked against
one another. Ive been with a lot of women, but I cant say that
Ive ever cuddled. At least not like this. Theres still the sexual
tension here, but its calmed down, now that weve had sex, and
we can just relax and enjoy being near each other, being with
each other.
The light is soft and dim and this basic hotel room, and Im
certain it has never looked more inviting, more at peace. Its
interesting how my perceptions change now that Im satisfied,
now that Im happier, more at peace.
Ive never felt more relaxed or calmer than with Chloe, naked,
curled up against me, her head nestling in the crook of my arm,
her arm slung across my chest, her breasts pressed lightly into
my side. Her toes curl absent-mindedly around mine, stroking
the tops of my feet and my ankles, my lower legs. I gaze at her
magnificent legs, so smooth, so perfect.
Chloes phone rings.
Just let it go, I say sleepily.
Ive got to check, says Chloe. It might be my dad.
She gets up, naked, and bends over. I admire her ass as she
does so, and the way her breasts and hair hang
Hello? she says, looking concerned as she stands straight
up, turning towards me where I lie on the bed, the covers half
covering my muscular body.
This is she, says Chloe, in a worried tone.
Theres a silence as Chloe listens to the person on the other
end of the line. I guess its not her dad if she has to identify
herself. It already doesnt look like whatever happened is good,
judging by Chloes face and the fact that its four in the morning.
Chloes face turns white as a sheet as she listens without
saying anything.
My heart is beating quickly. Im worried, worried about Chloe,
suddenly realizing that I care about her like no one Ive ever
cared for, and I hardly really even know her well. But despite all
that, it feels like weve been together for a long, long time.
Ill be right there, says Chloe.
What happened? I say, as Chloe puts the phone down and
starts getting ready rapidly.
Its my dad, she says, her voice sounded stressed. Shes
talking quickly and quietly, the way people do when something
very serious happens. I wasnt there for him when he needed
me. Something happened with his kidneys. I dont know, I didnt
understand it. But he called 911 and an ambulance took him to
the hospital. Hes in the emergency room right now. I have to go
see him. This could be the last chance I have.
Im coming with you, I say, jumping out of bed and
throwing on all my clothes.
She nods at me. There arent tears in her eyes, but it looks
like she might begin to cry, as if shes trying hard not to cry.
Ready? she says, scanning the room just once to see if hes
left anything. She doesnt even look at herself in the mirror as
she leaves.
I follow her down the hall.
I can drive, I say.
She shakes her head. Im going to need my car, she says. I
have work tomorrow too.
But you wont have slept at all, I say, checking the clock on
my phone. Its after four in the morning now.
It doesnt matter, she says, looking very, very worried. And
not about herself, but about her dad. Follow me in your car. I
know the way to the hospital.
I guess shes been there before plenty of times.
Its a half hour drive, and shes driving fast in her old car,
speeding along the empty dark streets, our headlights casting
cold white light over the dead leaves that scatter in the wind.
Its chilly but I dont turn on the heat, or the radio. Im
staring straight ahead, trying to catch glimpses of Chloe in the
drivers seat in her car. I wonder whats going through her head,
and I wonder whether shes crying.
We get to the hospital and she doesnt even park right, just
puts her car in the lane. Its the middle of the night so it doesnt
matter much. I park my car, and then jog over to her, and catch
her as shes rushing inside.
Here, I say. Ill park the car. Dont worry about it.
I park her car too and then head into the hospital emergency
room to find her. It smells bad in here, a sickly kind of smell.
There are people sitting around and moaning, with all sorts of
aches and pains that I cant identify. Theres a weird buzzing
sound thats loud and it sounds like its some sort of
malfunctioning fluorescent light.
I tell the receptionist who Im looking for and she points me
into the room. Apparently theres no problem with visitors right
Chloe is standing by her dads side. Hes lying in the bed and
he looks yellow. Hes hooked up to all kinds of tubes, IVs
spiraling out of his veins. He has that seriously sick look, the
strange tone to his skin, and the way hes lying, as if hes been
sapped of all his energy, makes him look really sick.
I came as fast as I could, Dad, Chloe is saying.
Im glad youre here, says Chloes dad, weakly, as if hes
really struggling to speak.
I walk into the room slowly and give an awkward wave at
Chloes dad.
Hi, I say.
Theyre going to have to put him on dialysis, says Chloe.
His kidney isnt working.
I nod slowly and gravely, feeling terrible and awkward here,
not knowing what to say. I dont have any words, and Im
wondering how her dad is going to react to this. After all, why am
I here with his daughter at four in the morning, and why wasnt
she at home?
Theres only one possible explanation and I wonder if in his
sick state if hes going to put the pieces together. Then again,
shes a grown woman, right? Cant she make her own decisions?
What are you doing here, Dan? says Chloes dad,
apparently gathering all of his strength to ask this question. He
picks his head off the pillow and stares at me, more of a glower
really, putting all his energy into it.
I was
I stop speaking. I simply dont know what to say. I cant
simply say I was sleeping with his daughter, can I?
Damn it. In college, I dont run into problems like this.
Chloe gives me a look that I cant read. Her face is
indescribable, even though I know shes upset. Theres some
other emotion there that Im not picking up on. If I had to guess,
it would be anger towards me. But that wouldnt make sense,
would it?
He was with me, Dad, says Chloe.
You were?
Chloe nods.
I dont say anything.
I can see the anger in her fathers face. Serious anger.
Hes sick, says Chloe. Itd be better if you go, Dan.
You have to go, says Chloe, in what sounds like an angry
whisper. Her eyes smolder. The anger is clear now.
But why is she angry at me? It doesnt make sense?
My hands are tied. I cant stick up for myself in a situation
like thisit just wouldnt be worth it with a sick man like this, a
dying man.
I learned about dialysis when my aunt had it. Its a horrible
process where they clean your blood. It depends on the person,
but with Chloes dad, I dont think hes going to live much
longer, not more than a couple months on dialysis.
I head to the door and Chloe doesnt follow me. Doesnt she
want to say goodbye? I mean, I know her dad is sick, but
You know Im headed back to school soon? I say. Im not
sure well be able to see each other
Chloe nods at me stiffly.
Bye, she says.
I dont understand this attitude. After all, we just spent the
most incredible night together.
Suddenly, I remember I have her keys, so I go to hand them to
her. But she doesnt move her hands to accept them, instead
keeping them crossed in front of her, under her breasts.
I put them on the nightstand, and I leave the room, with
Chloe and her sick father both glaring at me.
What the hell just happened?
I head out into the cool night and get into my car and drive
home in silence. The world around me seems to have become
terrible, in the sense that everything that was imbued with
magic only hours ago has now become flat and dull. The leaves
blow with the wind, but they dont move that place in my soul,
doing nothing for my spirit. My body has become like an
automaton, like a robot. I dont know what happened with
Chloe, but I know what that look meant. I dont know why she
acted the way she did, but I know what it means for us.
Her dads disapproval of me is more important than her
feelings for me. Thats what this all means.
Well, her dad is dying, I tell myself. Cut her a little slack.
But I cant
Not after the incredible night we spent together in the hotel
How could she be so cold to me after that? Everything in her
demeanor screamed get away from me and dont contact me.
Im on absolutely no sleep by the time I get home, so I crawl
into bed, fortunately arriving before my parents have woken up.
I dont fall asleep though, despite how exhausted and tired my
body is. Instead, I listen to the morning sounds of the house, my
parents getting up, brushing their teeth, turning on the radio.
The sun is up now, but its a cold and weak sun that barely
penetrates the clouds.
Sometime around 8am, I finally fall asleep for a few fitful and
restless hours.

T he next few days go by in a blur. Im stuck here in the

hospital, eating and sleeping here. I call out of work.
I think of Dan often, but only with anger. I dont quite
understand my own reaction. I just know what Im choosing my
dads side of the situation right now. After all, hes dying, right?
Cant I just do what he wants for now?
He doesnt approve of me hanging out with a guy like Dan.
For one thing, Dans reputation precedes him even around these
parts. And who knows whatll happen when his college
reputation gets back here.
Even in high school, he was too bad, too much of a rowdy
troublemaker for someone like my dad to approve of. Now that
Dan is older and muscled, with a deep commanding voice, a real
man, my dad approves of him even less. Thats why he gave him
that trick with the plumbing, to try to confound him. My dad
knew why Dan was there. He knew he was there to see me, and
he wanted to distract him, to try to discourage him with a
complex and unsolvable plumbing problem.
I still dont know how Dan managed to fix that plumbing
He sure knew how to work mine.
Shut up, I tell myself. Now isnt the time for stupid dirty
jokes. Your dad is dying.
I have this voice that runs through my head, my conscience, I
guess. But all it tells me over and over is that my dad is dying.
Its not the most helpful thing in a situation like this, because I
obviously already know that my dad is dying.
They cart him into the dialysis room a couple times a week
and he sits there for hours staring at the wall, refusing all forms
of entertainment. I go with him at first, but now he doesnt even
want me to go with him. He doesnt like me to see him in this
weak state, hooked up to a machine that he depends on for
I call out of work and my boss is pissed enough to fire me over
the phone. She knows my dad is sick and she knows I always
cover for other people when she needs it. Well, fuck. Screw her.
She completely screwed me financially. But I cant worry
about things like that now.
The days are drifting by.
I got a couple of text messages and even a call from Dan. I
didnt pick up the phone. He left me a long voicemail about how
much fun he had with me, and how much I meant to him.
I want nothing more than to tell him all the same things, but
this isnt the time for that. Cant he see that? Cant he see that
my dad needs me, and I need him? Hes the last family Ive got
left, except for my Aunt Donna, whos got to be in her 80s now,
and I havent seen her since I was a little kid.
I dont respond to anything Dan writes. Cant he see I dont
have time for that now?
Eventually, he stops writing.
The days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into one month.
The days have gotten colder and the strongest of the oak trees
have dropped all their leaves. (Theres a species around here that
holds onto their dead leaves for a long, long time).
The days are shorter and theres less light. My car is having
problems starting up, and I have to jam my foot into the gas
pedal as I crank the engine in order to get it to run. Theres a
problem with my power steering, and I have to keep filling it up
with steering fluid every day, since it leaks out overnight.
Eventually, the cost of the steering fluid is too great, and I just
stop putting the fluid in, losing power steering altogether.
Losing power steering is like a metaphor for my life right
now. I have no direction, and I cant afford to get any. I have to
be there for my dad.
Im no longer spending all my time at the hospital, and
neither is my dad. I drive him in for his dialysis appointments. I
wait in the waiting room as the machine filters his blood,
removing it from his body and replacing it over the course of a
few hours.
I feel like Im losing him. I feel like Im losing everything.
Theres no one to talk to.
Dans stopped writing me or calling me, and who can blame
him. After all, I was the one to never respond to him.
Its all my fault, and it always has been. At least thats how I
feel. I start blaming myself for everything, falling deeper and
deeper into some sort of depression.
I dont notice when my period doesnt come, but one day, I
wake up feeling sick to my stomach.
Strange, I think to myself, before the pain suddenly increases,
the nausea overtaking me.
I sprint to the bathroom, before my dads even woken up, and
thrust my head into the toilet bowl.
The vomit pours out of me.
And I never vomit.
This is weird, I think, as the urge takes me again and I stick
my head back into the toilet, letting out another stream of
strange colored vomit.
Feeling better, I brush my teeth.
How disgusting, I think to myself, looking to the toilet bowl
before flushing it.
Wait a second
I suddenly think of my period. This is when I realize I didnt
have it last month.
Oh shit.
Thats not good.
My mind goes into hyper drive, trying to remember if maybe,
just maybe, Id somehow gotten my period and forgotten about
But, no, I definitely didnt get it. Im fairly regular, with it
usually coming around the same day each month.
Oh shit.
Could I be pregnant?
Would the timing make sense? I was with Dan, what, a month
ago, a month and a half ago? Was it three weeks ago?
I try to count back in my head to Thanksgiving weekend but I
give up. Calendars and dates and times have never been my
strong suit. Im more of a literature person than a math or
science person, and I knew this would come back to bite me in
the ass someday.
When you think youre pregnant in the movies, theres
always a helpful but sarcastic friend to help you out, to go buy
the pregnancy test with you.
But this is real life, and Im all alone. Theres only my dad,
and Im certainly not going to tell him. Im not talking to Dan,
and anyway, hes hours away at college.
I pull out my phone and start searching the internet for
answers. It turns out Am I pregnant? and How do I tell if Im
pregnant? are some of the most common searches there are.
In the end, after half an hour of frantic internet research, I
decide to go get a blood test, paying for it with my own money,
rather than using a home test kit. The home test kits apparently
arent very accurate.
So I drive myself to the lab after first ordering the test myself
on the internet.
Im squeamish about blood, which is one of the reasons that
my dads dialysis bothers me so much.
But it goes off without a hitch, and by the end of the day I
have the answer, which pops up in my email.
POSITIVE, says the email. I dont even read the rest of the
words. They just swim before me in a blur.
All I know is Im pregnant with Dans child, and I dont even
talk to him anymore.
I feel an affection for the child that will be. Its combined with
something I still feel for Dan, despite what happened between
us. And, honestly, Im not even sure what happened between us.
Theres no one to tell. No friend to commiserate with.
Its just me, all alone, with my dying father at the other end
of the house.


H uge bodies are rushing towards me, trying to tackle me,

trying to slam their hundreds of pounds of muscled flesh
into me.
I dodge left, using a complicated footwork maneuver.
Someones coming at me from the left now.
And someones coming at me from behind.
My vision is limited by my football helmet. I can hear my own
breathing, and the sound of players rushing around me, colliding
with each other as they try to tackle me.
My feet are pounding into the turf.
Im aware of every muscle, every movement.
My consciousness has shifted to tunnel vision, something
elite athletes like myself experience when everything is going
just right.
Its right now that I know Im going to make the touchdown.
Theres no doubt in my mind. Once the tunnel vision kicks in,
everything starts to look like its in slow motion.
No matter how many of them rush at me in their bright
purple and yellow jerseys, no matter how determined they are to
stop me, I will evade them all.
Seconds later, its all over.
I cross the final line, and I throw the ball down in celebration,
doing my little dance, using my knees and elbows.
Thats the game.
The crowd is roaring. Whistles are blowing. The scoreboard
has changed.
Coachs voice is crackling in my ear through the electronic
radio headset that we all wear.
Thats the game. Weve won.
Im sweating profusely, shaking slightly from the adrenaline
thats still coursing through me.
The team is slapping me on the back, congratulating me,
swearing at me (for playing such a fucking good game), etc., etc.
Coach is scowling somewhere off a few meters away, looking
the way he always does, disheveled and mean.
I pull off my helmet, shaking my head like a big wet dog, the
sweat flying from my hair.
This isnt college anymore. This is the pros. Its my second
year here, but Im already breaking records and scoring more
touchdowns than anyone thought possible.
Since this is the pros, here come the reporters, the
professionals who are paid to shove microphones into my face
and ask me inane questions.
How does it feel to win? says a woman in a blazer with
heavy makeup.
Good, I say, still breathing heavily from the exertion of the
game. Really good. Couldnt have done it without my
Couldnt have done it without my teammates thats what
everyone says. Thats what were told to say. Thats what we
have to say. Even if isnt true.
I mean, sure, I couldnt have done it without my teammates,
in the sense that I need someone to throw me the ball. But I
certainly could have done with better teammates. I cant count
how many times I had to correct for their errors, or how many
times they continue to screw up, almost costing us countless
But I keep my face free of emotion, a vague smile plastered
across it.
Whats your strategy for the next game? says the reporter.
Always the same questions, I think. Always the questions we
cant answer. Obviously, Im not going to give away Coachs top
secret plays. Obviously Im not going to say that Coach wants to
try a certain fake out, or that Coach wants to switch Smith for
McKinney, or that hes thinking of trading Basher (thats our
affectionate nickname for him) next season because he doesnt
like the way Basher is always spitting tobacco everywhere during
Well, I say, as if Im really thinking it over. The thing is
that were just going to try to give it our all, you know?
The reporter nods. The TV cameras are practically in my face.
Honestly, I just want to burst through them the way I can
with players on the football field. But life isnt always that easy,
like it is on the field. In life, theyll give you a hard time if you go
around tackling people or dodging them or rushing through
them like bowling pins.
What do you have to say about your recent breakup with
Enough questions, says Coach, cutting across the line of
sight before the reporter can complete the question.
Thats one way Coachs grumpiness can come in handy.
Hit the showers, he growls at me.
I head into the showers. I cant even remember the models
name that I apparently broke up with so I dont have any idea
what name the reporter was going to say.
There have been a lot of women, a lot of models, a lot of
actresses, a lot of famous female sports players, mostly tennis.
I start stripping off my pads. Im in the back, away from the
rest of the team who are yelling and rioting with the excitement
that comes from winning, the violence that comes from victory,
the violence that becomes celebration.
I pull off everything, my jersey, my pads, my jock strap, and
toss it onto the floor.
Naked, my cock swinging before me naked and muscular I
head to the showers and turn on the water. I dont bother with
the hot tap. I just let the cold water rush over me, cooling me,
cooling my anger.
The cool water feels good. I need it to wash away memories, to
wash away my past.
Ive been with countless women. Since I turned pro, there
have been endless numbers of them.
But theres still that one who got away.
Chloe, sweet, sexy Chloe. Chloe from my hometown.
I remember that night together like it was not even yesterday,
but merely earlier today.
Shes still the sexiest to me. Shes still the one I want the
most. Shes still the one that I dream about and wake up in the
middle of the night thinking about.
I know, I know, it sounds completely crazy. Normal people
dont do that, right? If I told someone, theyd tell me I was
But I know its something other than obsession something
more powerful, something cleaner, something stronger and
more intense.
My naked cock is getting hard just thinking about her, just
thinking about that night so long ago. How many years ago was
it now? Five? Six? Ive lost track. It was my first year of college,
and Ive been in the pros for two years now.
Ive matured a lot since those days
Well, in some ways, thats true.
My body has matured. Im harder, more muscular, bigger.
Coachs programming of eating and weight training makes me
leaner but bigger. Im stronger and faster than nearly anyone
else in the league, for my position, that is. But that still includes
just about everyone. Who else can run like I can? Who else can
dodge? Who else can blast through defensemen with such ease?
My mind has become hardened, too, like my body.
I worry about it sometimes. Not so much anymore, but I used
I dont know if losing Chloe was the catalyst for this, but it did
start something. I gave myself entirely to the game, to football,
to the objective. For me, now, winning is everything. Winning
isnt just a goal. Winning is my life, and I dont tolerate failure in
any form, not from myself, not from my teammates, and not
from the refs or the coach.
Ive learned a lot in the intervening years since I saw Chloe.
The cool water isnt doing anything for my hard cock. Isnt
that why they say go take a cold shower? so that you can get
rid of your erection? But my cock is too strong, just like the rest
of my body, and a little bit of cold water isnt going to make my
erection just disappear.
When Im dressed, I dodge all the other players. Im not in a
raucous mood. Something serious has overtaken me.
Coach confronts me in the hallway.
Hi, I grunt, not really looking at him.
We need to talk, says Coach.
Not now, I say. Not in the mood.
Damnit, Dan. Youve got to respect me. I know you dont
respect anyone else on the team, but Im the fucking coach and
youve got to listen to me.
Hes got a point. If not just for the contractual obligation I
have. Coach has complete power and can kick me off the team if
he wants to, something hes threatened to do plenty of times
Whats up, Coach? I say, standing back, crossing my arms.
Im much taller than Coach, and I tower over him. My frame is
massive and hes gotten old and pudgy, short and pudgy, not a
great combination.
His face looks mean. Theres no other way to describe it. Its
all scrunched up and pointed forward. He looks like hes always
looking for a fight, and he really is.
Youve got to work on your footwork, growls Coach, putting
a hand on my shoulder. Its not a comforting hand, but a mean,
controlling one.
He just wants to control me.
But Im not like that. I cant stand it when people tell me
what to do, when they want me to do things their way. Sure, Im
on a team and all, but that doesnt mean I cant have some say in
what I do.
Theres nothing wrong with my footwork, I say, knowing
full well that Im completely right.
Your right foot was striking the ground kind of funny
says Coach.
Kind of funny? I say, my voice rising to show my
disapproval of what hes saying. I feel like my eyebrows are
rising but Im not sure. Its not like I can control them or know
what theyre doing.
The toes mumbles Coach. Have to be more forward
facing even when youre moving sideways.
Listen, Coach, I say, my voice getting deep and rumbly.
Fuck this guy, is all Im thinking. Fuck him to fucking hell. He
thinks he can bullshit me on shit like this. I know my
You think you know everything, says Coach, practically
yelling at me. But you dont know shit.
We won, right? I say. Isnt that enough for him? Isnt it
enough that I won the game?
Coach shakes his head at me in the most annoying way I can
possibly imagine, as if hes talking to an inexperienced young
Whats your problem, Coach? I say. Its not enough that I
win. Its not enough for you that I know what Im fucking doing
with my own fucking feet
No one talks to me like that, bellows Coach.
I walk right past him, slinging my bag over my shoulder.
Im supposed to do all kinds of team stuff after the game, but
I just head out into the parking lot where I call a taxi with my cell
phone and hop into it.
Youre says the taxi driver, giving me a surprised look,
astonished to see the player that just won the game.
I nod my head.
Hell of a game, he says, nodding appreciatively.
Thanks, I say.
I cant think of anything else to say.
Lately, the words havent been coming to me as easily as they
once did. Lately, things dont seem to be going as they should.
Its like theres some dark cloud hanging over me. Everything
looks different and everything tastes different.
Ive stopped seeing all the women I was seeing. Many of them
just wanted to be with me for my fame, for my money, for the
press opportunities. The others well, they were all right. They
werent all terrible people or anything.
But that spark
It just wasnt there.
I want a real connection. I want to be No, I cant even say it.
Theres some block in my mind.
And its over Chloe. I dont admit it to myself, because I think
that its pathetic. I mean, Im obsessing over this girl from my
hometown that I hooked up with once six years ago.
Does she even remember who I am?
If I saw her again, what would I say?
I scoff at my own thoughts. Of course she remembers who I
am. Everyone knows who I am. My picture is on the cover of
magazines. Im on TV.
Theres no doubt she knows who I am.
There you go again with your egocentric bullshit, I think to
Hell of a game, wasnt it? says the taxi driver, apparently
not realizing that I just want to be left alone.
I nod my head.
Man, the way you ran by those guys. I mean it was like you
were running through, shit, I dont know what, water or
something. You just flowed, man. Ive never seen anything like
Thanks, I say.
He keeps talking, telling me about everything I was doing.
Apparently hes a big fan and he knows all my statistics. He even
compliments my footwork. I wish Coach was here to hear this. I
mean, a lot of the time these guys, these regular working guys,
theyre the biggest fans, and sometimes I wonder if they
wouldnt do a better job coaching the team.
Then again, Coach may be an asshole, a difficult one at that,
but he does know what hes doing. Ive got to give him that. Hes
got an impeccable coaching track record, and hes brought
countless teams to victories.
Since the cabbie doesnt seem to want to stop talking, I finally
stop grunting and start actually talking to him.
You know, I say. Its just not like it used to be.
What do you mean by that, Dan? he says. I can tell he
hesitates before using my first name, as if hes nervous about
using it. Im sure hes going to be telling all his buddies at the
bar tonight that he drove me around and we had a great chat and
now were the best of friends.
The world, man, I say. Its just not the same.
I said I was going to talk, but I didnt say I was going to talk
about football, or what he wanted to talk about.
Yeah? he says, clearly puzzled.
I dont know, I say. I just feel like, whats it all for, you
know? Im not saying Im depressed. I mean, far from it. But I
just know theres something missing.
Ah, says the driver, his face lighting up with excitement as
if hes just solved the riddle of the universe. Women problems,
I guess, I say, vaguely.
The one that got away, huh? he says, turning around and
giving me a wink.
Despite it being a clich, I realize that its true
Chloe is the one that got away, the one that Im never going
to forget. Shes the one Ill always remember, despite the
relatively brief time we spent together.
My phone rings.
Ive got to get this, I say to the cabbie, who nods politely.
Dan here, I say, answering without checking the caller ID,
hoping against hope that its someone with some adventure,
someone who can lift me out of this dreary fog I find myself in.
Dan, its your dad.
I groan inwardly. My dad never calls with good news.
Whats up, Dad? I say.
Its your mom, Dan. Shes not doing well.
Oh shit.
Suddenly, visions of Chloes sick dad from six years ago flash
through my mind. I know he died, but I never went to the
funeral. I never felt welcome, the way she never returned my
calls, texts, emails, or letters.
Whats going on with her? I say.
Nothing too bad, says my dad. Dont get too worried or
anything. Its just that she fell down and hurt her hip.
How bad is it?
Not too bad, but shes probably going to have to have
Im coming home, I say. At least for the weekend. Coach
can go screw himself. I dont care if I have to miss training. Of
course, I wouldnt ever miss a game. But its not like theres a
Thats not necessary, Dan, says my dad in his formal
sounding voice.
Come off it, I say. Ill be there for the weekend, and I can
help out.
I can picture him nodding on the other end of the line. He
reluctantly admits it wouldnt be such a bad idea. We say
goodbye and hang up.
Going home I havent been home for a long, long time. Ive
been too busy with this crazy pro football player lifestyle. Sure,
its been great. But Im tired of it Im looking for something
My mind flashes back to Chloe. Is she still at home? Is she
still in her dads old house, living there all by herself? What the
hell happened to her after all?
I feel a pang of longing and wonder for a moment if maybe Ill
run into her somehow.
Outside the cab, the world looks impossibly dreary. The
clouds hang low, looking grey and oppressive. But for a moment
I think I catch a ray of sun about to pierce the clouds. Can it
make it?

I ts early in the morning, but my workday starts early. I hit

the button on the automatic coffee maker and get out the
sugar, the cream, and my trusty metal thermos that Ive used
every day the last six years.
I never became a coffee drinker until my dad was getting
really sick. Then, with all the sleepless nights, it was the only
thing that would keep me going. The doctors say sometimes its
unhealthy, and then sometimes they say its healthy, even to
drink up to five cups a day. I dont have much of a choice either
way. Its not that I dont have any natural energy, but Im just
trying to do a lot, what with running my own business and
raising a daughter.
Correction: I should say starting my own business. For the
last year, I worked for others as a physical therapist. It was great,
and I learned a lot, and made some professional friends, not to
mention became friends with a lot of the clients, but well, I
just knew that I couldnt keep doing it.
For one thing, I needed more money to support my daughter
Shes the light of my life.
I realize I was pregnant right around when my dad was getting
really sick and needing dialysis. Its one of my greatest regrets
that I never told him. I was going to, but then he died suddenly
one night, peacefully in his bed, just the way he wanted to.
It was hard for me for a long time.
When I was pregnant, I had to sell my parents house, and I
had to use the money to pay off my dads medical bills as best as
I could. It turns out that dialysis is extremely expensive and the
insurance wasnt covering it for one reason or another.
I finally have health insurance myself now, and I have it for
Scout. I try to be the best mom that I can possibly be.
Theres only one thing missing in my life, and thats a man
I still think about Dan, obviously. Ive never told him about
Scout. I never told him I was pregnant. I was so caught up in my
dads death, with arranging the funeral, with selling the house,
with getting myself into a stable financial position that I just I
dont know.
I still blame myself for not telling him. I still see him on TV,
and I watch many of his football games when I get the chance.
I just feel so guilty about not telling him. Hed be so angry if I
told him now. Sooner or later the day is going to come when the
truth is going to come out. I just have to decide whether Im
going to tell him Or if its going to happen some other way.
Dans so famous now that it would become a national scandal, at
least thats how I imagine it. And I dont want to do that to
myself, and certainly not to Dan. And I really dont want to do
that to Scout, thrusting her into the limelight like that. She
deserves a normal life. But, then again, she also deserves a
father. And I deserve a man, dont I?
I havent been with anyone since Dan. Not a single man.
Its been a long six years, a long and trying time.
The coffee is ready. The drip has stopped and I pour myself
my one cup for this morning before work, and then I pour the
other three cups into my thermos, carefully adding the exact
amount of cream and sugar that I like, the amounts that keep me
going, the amounts that keep my soul feeling warm even on the
coldest days when the sun doesnt come out from behind the
Scouts still asleep and I have to go wake her up in a couple
But for now I have the morning to my lonely self. I sit down at
the kitchen table, which is somewhat battered from overuse,
since it was second hand to begin with, and I sip my coffee
The events of the last few years run through my head.
Id been just fired from the movie theater and I didnt get
another job until after my dad had died. I ended up working at
some rinky-dink little hardware store where hardly any
customers came in. It didnt pay much at all, but it gave me
plenty of time to study, and I studied my little ass off all day
every day during every shift.
I was putting myself through community college right here in
town, paying my way class by class. I got straight As from the
amount of work I was putting in.
My academic advisor suggested I take a semester off of school
when Scout was about to be born, but I didnt want to do that. I
couldnt do that. I knew that I had to push myself if I was going
to provide a good life for Scout.
For some reason, the thought of asking Dan for financial
assistance never crossed my mind. For one thing, Id become
independent with my dads death. There was no one to help me
out with it. My mom and dad were both gone. I got used to doing
everything myself.
Also, I didnt want to tell Dan the reasons well, Im not
sure the reasons are ever going to be clear to me exactly. I can
make up all the excuses I want. I can justify it anyway I want to
myself, but in the end I didnt do the right thing, and I have to
live with that, with those choices.
Time to wake up Scout.
I head up to her room, which Ive done completely myself.
When I was pregnant, I painted the entire room, and even
learned how to build some basic furniture myself. Of course, I
didnt know what I was doing, but I didnt have any money
either, so I did the best I could.
When I was pregnant, I became very cautious about anything
that might harm Scout. I just wanted her to be healthy and enjoy
a good life. So I did my research on all the paints and all the
toxins they might contain. I researched everything, down to
exactly what foods I should eat during the pregnancy. And I
spent all the money I had on eating exactly the right way.
Good morning, Scout, I say, leaning over the bed. Her hair,
which is just like Dans and reminds me of him every time I see
it, is spilling messily out of her head.
Mom? she says sleepily, and I gently shake her until she
wakes up.
But once she wakes up, wow, is she awake.
Shes a little bundle of energy and honestly, its hard to keep
She wants to do everything at once, and I feel like a slow, old
adult, although Im not even 30 yet.
Come on, Scout, I say. Lets get you some breakfast.
She sits at the kitchen table and reads one of her books from
school while I scramble some eggs for us. I also pour her a
granola cereal with some milk, with chopped up bananas in it. I
have to hide the fruit in her food sometimes, because for some
reason shes decided that fruit is gross, unless its chopped up
and hidden away in other foods, that is.
Mom, whats this word mean? says Scout.
What are the letters, Scout? I say.
F-I-E-L-D, she reads.
Field, I say. It can be a field out in nature, or maybe on a
farm. Also, football fields
I trail off.
You mean like the kind where my dad plays?
Thats right, honey, I say, without saying anything more.
I havent told Scout a lot about her father, but Ive told her
that he was a famous football player. She used to ask question
after question about him, but I never knew what to say, and I
think she could tell that the questions were making me feel
uncomfortable. In reality, they just made me feel guilty. Why
should Scout grow up without a father? Its not fair. Not that its
that unusual these days, of course, because most of the kids in
her kindergarten class have divorced parents. Id guess that
divorced parents are actually the majority these daysor, in my
case, not even married, and yet still not together.
Here you go, Scout, I say, serving her the scrambled eggs.
Wheres the hot sauce? she says, getting up and practically
sprinting over to the cupboards.
You sure you want hot sauce this early? I say. Remember
how spicy it was for you before?
Of course I want it, says Scout, her eyes wide with
I dont really know where her obsession with hot sauce came
OK, I say, reaching high up on the shelf for her. Heres the
bottle. Just be careful with it and dont put too much on.
Of course, Scout douses her eggs with as much hot sauce as
she possibly can, and in less than ten minutes, shes trying to
put the fire out by downing milk.
Maybe a little less next time, OK? I say, giving her a wink.
I have a terrible thought for a moment: am I a bad mother for
giving my daughter hot sauce? No, I dont think so, though.
These thoughts are always swimming around, popping up once
in a while. Actually, if I step back and think about it, I think that
giving her a somewhat more or less free reign to experiment
with things herself is good. After all, how is she supposed to
learn things if she cant experiment? And hot sauce is pretty
harmless in the end.
We get into my old station wagon and drive the ten minutes
to her school.
I pull up into the car loop.
Hope you have a good day, Scout, I say. Did you remember
to bring your book?
She nods her head. Shes dressed in a cute little dress. In a
couple (well, a few more, but you know what I mean, how time
flies) years, I know shell be a teenager, and I wont be able to
have any say in how she dresses. Shell probably be wearing torn
jeans and maybe Ill have found myself a man by then.
I watch as Scout gets out of the car and jogs off towards her
friends who are getting off the bus. One of the kindergarten
teachers is on bus and car duty and she gives me a wave. I wave
back, put the car in gear, and start driving down the road to
Its a cold November day, but I put the windows down just a
little, to feel the air
Its almost Thanksgiving, just like that time six years ago
when Dan was here.
I wonder if Ill ever see him again, and I wonder if Ill ever
forget him? I cant, though. Theres no way I could ever get him
out of my head, even if he wasnt Scouts father.
OK. Ive got to get my head clear for work. I try to push the
thoughts of Dan out, but it just makes the images and memories
stronger somehow.
This isnt my first day on the job, but its the first month. And
Im the boss, so everyday feels like the first day on a new job.
Fortunately, Im starting to get used to it.
I run my own physical therapy center, one thats a little
unusual in that its based in a pool.
Sure, Ive gotten criticism, plenty of criticism, for doing
things my own way, for making waves.
Morning, Sam, I say to the young guy whos my assistant.
Hes studying right now to be a physical therapist, and he
thought this would be a good job to get his foot in the door.
Hey there, he says, without looking up from his computer.
Hes a nice guy, and very competent. The only thing is that
hes dressed like a punk, with a huge pink mohawk that juts up
at least a foot from his squat little head.
I dont have a problem with the way he dresses, and frankly I
think everyone should dress how they want to. I have, however,
warned him quite clearly that other employers wont be quite as
lenient, especially when it comes to the physical therapy world.
Its important in this business to look professional, to look like
people want to actually take your advice.
Myself, I opt for something simple. I wear those yoga style
pants, but theyre a little thicker, and not quite as revealing. But
they are tight, and sure Ive had guys checking out my ass from
time to time. But most of the time they keep it professional.
Im still debating about whether I should wear a swimsuit
under my clothes, or just change into it.
Its expensive renting a pool, but I know that the therapeutic
benefits are going to be worth it for the clients. Its not a huge
pool, either. It doesnt have to be an Olympic sized pool since
most of the clients are going to be older and just working on
getting their basic movements back. Theyre not going to be
doing laps too often.
The smell of chlorine is still something that I have to get used
Sometimes I do dress it up a little, if Im doing something
more like a business meeting. But I still keep it simple then, with
a collared shirt, and some khaki pants.
Anything going on today? I say. Or still just one booking?
The business is doing well, but not quite as well as I could
have expected. But no one has really done this kind of joint
physical therapy-pool business before. Im really striking out on
new territory, and I do have moments of doubt where I wonder if
Im even really doing the right thing at all.
When I get more clients, I imagine Ill just be in the pool or on
the deck all day long, and then I probably wont be changing out
of my swimsuit at all, but just wearing it all day long. Those days
are hopefully going to come soon, when by word of mouth my
business starts spreading.
Right now, I just have to do the best work I can with the
clients that I do have. Most of them are clients that know me
from the old practice where I used to work. They respect my
abilities and my skills, and know that I can do a good job. They
trust me, and I hope in the future more clients will be trusting
me just the same.
Theres one new booking today, says Sam, not looking up
from the computer.
Yeah? I say, trying to contain the excitement in my voice.
Its a Mrs. Cambridge, he says. She wanted an
appointment early. Says her son is going to bring her in. She
hurt her hip and she doesnt want to have an operation.
I frown.
Those can be tricky, I say. A lot of people dont want the
operations, but often thats what they really need. I guess well
see what we can do, eh?
Sam nods.
Is the pool all ready? I say.
Yeah, I just added a new bucket of chlorine this morning.
Thanks, I say. When is her appointment?
About twenty minutes, he says.
That early? I say.
Yeah, I know its early. But you told me to keep the whole
days schedule open no matter what.
Thanks, I say. Its fine. Id better get changed.
Sam finally looks up and me and nods.
Just keep working on that website, I say. Itll be nice to
have a place where the clients can find us.
Sams doing a great job on the website, and I know its mostly
because he hopes to work here as a therapist once he gets his
license. Hes studying hard and hes a good kid.
I remember back when I was working for other people. It
wasnt that long ago. They treated me fine at the physical
therapy place, but the movie theater was a different story. That
was when I was just a kid, really. I think I started working there
when I was 18. I had a string of different jobs in the meantime,
and they all treated me like dirt. I try not to do the same thing to
Sam, and I like the idea of him working here later. I like the idea
of him having a vested interest in the business and I try to pay
him better as a result. But if I dont get a lot more clients soon,
its going to be hard to even pay the costs of the business
(operating an indoor pool isnt cheap) let alone Sams wages.
I head into the locker room. I didnt have this building built
specially, so basically its an old swim club that was going to be
torn down. I think it still has a lot of charm though, even if it
could use a little bit of work to spruce the place up.
I open up my locker and take out my one piece swimsuit. This
isnt the beach, and a bikini would probably be seen as
inappropriate. I have something that doesnt show much
cleavage, something modest. I strip off my pants and my shirt
and stand in my bra and panties, just thinking for a moment
before putting on my swimsuit.
I start to unhook my bra and this triggers a memory of the
night I spent with Scouts father, Dan.
Something clicks for me.
Mrs. Cambridge. Thats Dans last name. And Im only twenty
minutes away from our old hometown.
Could this possibly be Dans mother?
That doesnt mean necessarily that Dan would be here with
her. In fact, it would be quite unusual. Since I know that Dan just
played a football game sometime in the last week. (Yes, I still
keep tabs on him, by browsing the football pages on the
internet, even though I dont really have any interest in the
sport myself.) Hes busy with practice for sure.

H i, I say, entering the small office that smells like a pool.

Im here for my mom. She has an appointment with the
physical therapist.
Yes, says the young guy with a mohawk. This is the first
time Ive seen a guy with a mohawk working the desk
somewhere this professional, and Im taken aback for a
moment. Not that I give a damn what he looks like, as long as
these people can help my mom. Chloes already in the pool. Do
you need help getting in there?
I think well be OK, I say. Shes already changed. I turn to
my mom. You holding up OK, Mom? I say.
Im fine, honey, says my mom somewhat stiffly. Shes
always been so independent that its hard for her to resign
herself to this new wheelchair like existence.
But my dad rented a specially outfitted van (that Im paying
for, of course) that has a wheel chair accessible automotive ramp
that can lift her into the back area, where the wheel chair can be
strapped in. Its a hell of a lot easier than having to fold up the
wheel chair and then help my mom into the car.
Ill take her back, then, I say. Wheres the pool?
He points in the direction of some metal doors, and I prop the
door open and start wheeling my mom through.
A thought suddenly hits me that makes me pause for a
It couldnt be. After all, what are the chances that this is my
Chloe? What are the chances shes still hanging around here?
She could be halfway around the world by now, teaching English
in China. Or she could be working in New York City as a fashion
or she could still be working at that movie theater. The
sobering thought hits me hard, like a ton of bricks. I dont want
that to have happened to Chloe. I hope shes moved on with her
life, and has been able to overcome emotionally and financially
from her dads death.
The air reeks of chlorine, and its hot and muggy, especially
uncomfortable in the jeans and jacket Im wearing. After all, its
cold outside.
But, then again, this greenhouse like atmosphere is a nice
change from the cold outside.
Ive taken the time off from the team, telling Coach basically
to go fuck himself, in not so many words. He gave me hell for
missing practice, but I told him I needed to spend time with my
mother because of her hip problem. In the end, theres not a lot
he can do, except threaten me because Ive got an iron clad
contract and a real reason to take a short leave, even if it is in
season. Im also completely indispensable to the team.
You going to push me all the way through, or just stand
there thinking about football or women? says my mom.
Sorry, I say, snapping out of my little daydream and I
continue pushing her through.
The pool is small but big enough. Everything is clean, if not a
little old, and the place has a professional feel to it.
I sure hope they can help you, I say. Ive never heard of
this pool based physical therapy before.
My friend Marge said this is the best, says my mom.
Im vaguely aware of a woman standing off towards the side
of the pool, surrounded by all sorts of therapeutic looking
floatation devices.
You must be Mrs. Cambridge, says the woman.
Something about her voice its so familiar.
I turn to look at her and it feels like the world is moving in
slow motion as I do so.
Its Chloe.
Its Chloe standing there, in a swimsuit. Its unmistakably
She looks different in some ways. Shes developed even more
curves. Her hair is longer than when I last saw her. Shes still
just as beautiful as she was six years ago, if not many more times
as beautiful as then.
Her face drops in surprise as she sees me. Her jaw literally
falls open.
Youre the one whos going to fix my hip? Dont I know
you? says my mother. (I guess she doesnt remember Chloe.)
Chloe remains frozen for a moment, staring at me.
Do you two know each other? says my mom.
I mumble something.
Its Chloe who rescues us. She puts on her professional charm
again, her professional physical therapist demeanor. So shes a
physical therapist now? Shes doing pretty well for herself, from
the looks of it.
All sorts of emotions flood me. All sorts of questions. Is she
married? I dont see a ring. But then again, wouldnt a physical
therapist remove her ring before getting into the pool?
Dans an old friend from high school, says Chloe, keeping
her face neutral.
I didnt know you had any female friends you havent slept
with, says my mom in her biting sarcastic tone that shes
developed over the last few years. (My dad says its becoming
something of a problem, but it can also be hilarious, depending
on which side of the situation youre on.)
Mom! I say.
Chloe blushes a deep red.
Well that answers that question, says my mom, eyeing
Chloes reddening face.
Unbelievable, I mutter.
Dont act like I dont know your reputation, says my mom.
Then, as an aside to Chloe, she adds, Hes always in the papers
for his womanizing these days.
I know, says Chloe, looking right at me, her face still red.
Well, says my mom, wheeling herself a little bit closer to
the pool, but not close enough that shes in any danger of falling
in. Time to get on with it, dont you all think?
I I start to say, and for the first time in a long, long time I
find myself completely lost for words.
I just find myself staring at her, at Chloe, at her beautiful
Her figure is just as perfect, just as beautiful as before but
more so. I cant describe it, but her beauty has really matured,
really become something incredibly wonderful.
Are you just going to keep staring at your old lover or are you
going to leave me in peace so I can get on with my therapy? I
have to get this hip working again, you know?
Of course I finally manage to say, but I can barely peel my
eyes away from Chloe.
She gives me a smile and then turns to my mother to help her
out of her chair.
I wonder for a moment how shes going to get her out of the
chair, but as I see her move I realize shes a trained professional.
She knows exactly what to do.
Ill just wait out in the
I was about to say car, but Chloe says theres a waiting room.
Must not have noticed it when I came in, I say.
Thats because its just two chairs in front of the secretarys
desk, says Chloe, turning back to me once more.
Enough of this infernal flirting, says my mom, her tone
Sorry, I mouth at Chloe, and then turn and walk back
through the door.
I cant help but turning and taking one last look at Chloes
body in her swimsuit. Her breasts swell and fill out the swimsuit.
I can see her magnificent thighs. Her legs seem to continue
But I finally tear myself away from her body.
Well, I think to myself, that went fairly well. My first time
seeing Chloe in, what has it been, six years?
I cant think of how many times Ive thought about her. I
cant imagine how many times Ive fantasized about her, about
that night we spent together. Ive thought about her so many
times at bed at night, with my hand around my hard cock
Surprisingly, I dont feel any anger. I dont feel any
resentment. Sure, I felt like that in the past. I was angry. After
all, she never called me back. She never made the slightest move
to contact me. But theres no rancor in me. Theres nothing but
calm yes, thats how I feel seeing her againcalm.
And that smile she gave me
I head back to the secretary with the mohawk and sit down in
one of the folding chairs.
This is a new place, huh? I say.
The secretary nods at me.
So how long has Chloe worked here? I say.
Chloe? says the mohawked guy, finally looking up from his
computer. Shes the owner. So, not too long. Its a new place.
Shes the owner, huh? I say, looking around.
I suppose she must be doing fairly well for herself, if shes the
owner of this place. That takes a lot of courage to set out on a
business venture like that yourself.
Then again, as I take a look around, noticing the bored
looking secretary, the basic metal chairs, the lack of a real
waiting room (Im squished up against the wall, almost right
next to the secretary), etc. etc.
The place is professional but not fancy, not luxurious. Also,
there arent exactly a ton of clients here today.
How many clients you guys get a day here? I say, anxious to
know more about Chloe, more about her life now.
Sorry, says the guy. I dont think Chloe would like me
discussing that with clients.
Oh, I say. Its just that, well, Im an old friend, and I dont
think shed mind
The guy takes another look at me, and suddenly his face lights
Hey! he says, his voice sounding excited. Arent you Dan
Guilty as charged, I say.
What the hell are you doing here, man? he says. You guys
have a game coming up, dont you?
My mom hurt her hip, I say.
He nods. Thats nice of you. But now he launches into a
detailed play-by-play analysis of the last game I played. You
were great, man, but what about your footwork?
I suddenly start to get angry. I can feel the anger bubbling up
inside me. Ive never liked it when people tell me what to do, and
Ive never liked it when people criticized me, whether its the
coach doing the critiquing or some random guy on the street. I
just flat out dont like it. Theyre not the ones playing, right?
Youre some kind of football footwork expert? I say.
What really annoys me most about this guy is that its exactly
what Coach was telling me not too long ago.
The secretary guy can hear the anger in my voice.
Hey, man, I didnt mean any disrespect.
I take a deep breath. I can see he means it. At any other time,
I might fly off the handle and really tell him off. Hell, Ive been
known to knock out a guy or two in my time.
But I think of Chloe.
Dont I want to have a chance with her? Dont I want a second
Shes the answer to all my problems. Well, she could be. She
could be the answer Ive been searching for. All the other women
theyre not doing anything for me now.
But ChloeChloe still has that power over me. I felt it back
there at the pool.
I take a deep breath to calm down. If Im going to have any
shot with Chloe, I cant be knocking out her secretary.
I take another deep breath.
Is Chloe already changing me?
Its OK, I say. No big deal.
Oh, good, he says, sounding relieved. Now he goes onto to
continue to talk about football. Honestly, I dont have much
interest any more in talking about the game. I mean, I play it.
Im living it. These other guys are just spectators, just fans.
I just cant get her out of my head. I dont see how I can
possibly concentrate on a conversation when I just saw my old
flame looking sexier than shes ever looked before, wearing
nothing more than a swimsuit.

T he session with Dans mom goes about as well as could be

expected. Shes certainly a sarcastic and quick witted old lady,
but she knows her stuff, and she knows that shes got to work
hard on physical therapy if she wants to recuperate the lost
movement of her hip.
Its much, much better when clients know this and expect to
do some work, rather than the clients who dont want to move a
muscle but want everything to be fixed for them automatically.
Im finding, though, to my pleasant surprise, that the people
who do sign up for physical therapy in the pool are generally
more determined to do the work necessary to fix their problems.
OK, youre good to go, Mrs. Cambridge, I say, helping her
finally get out of the pool. We didnt really leave the shallow end,
but shes still exhausted.
I help wheel her into the changing room, where she assures
me she can take care of the rest of the business at hand. She
does so quite smartly, making sure theres no doubt about her
quick wit and intelligence.
But during the session I cant get it out of my head how crazy
it is that this is Dans mom, not to mention how crazy it is that I
just saw Dan here in person.
He looked hotter than ever, or at least hotter than I
remembered him (which was already pretty damn hot), and
hotter than he looks on the TV, and thats a pretty tall order,
honestly, with all those football pads and his tight pants,
showing off his muscular ass, his muscular thighs. I can still
almost remember what it was like when he was deep inside me
that one night six years ago.
Six years ago
So much has changed. For one thing, Ive had Scout.
Ive never forgotten that Dans Scouts father, but his
physical presence sends a jolt up my spine. I dont know what
the jolt means. Is it a jolt of panic, pleasure, anxiety? Something
else entirely. All I know is that I feel a strong, strong physical
urge to get close to Dan, to sidle up next to him, to stroke his
hard body.
I need to find out about him Im drawn to him in many
ways, but I also need to find things out about him. I need to find
out if the rumors are true.
After all, I should tell him about Scout, shouldnt I? I owe it to
Dan, and I owe it to Scout. But I have my doubts serious
There are so many rumors in the mainstream press about
Dans womanizing ways. It really doesnt sound at all like hes fit
to be a father.
But, then again, can that really detain me from telling him
the truth? Dont I owe it to him, no matter what type of person
hes turned into? Even if hes the most irresponsible player ever
to grace the pro leagues, he still should know, shouldnt he?
But I just dont want to get hurt, and most of all I dont want
Scout to get hurt. Shes the most precious person to me, the
most important, and I feel this incredibly strong need to protect
My thoughts run wild as I spend about ten minutes putting
away the floatation devices that I use for my physical therapy,
walking around the pool in my swimsuit.
I cant get Dan out of my head. His body is in my minds eye,
and I find myself wondering what he looks like with his shirt off.
Id be lying if I said Id never looked for picture of him online,
and if I said I never fantasized about him.
I head into another one of the changing rooms. Mrs.
Cambridge has already left hers, because theres no noise
coming from there, and the doors open.
I cant get my mind off Dans body. I just cant. My breathing
is getting rapid.
I peel off my wet swimsuit and find that my nipples are hard.
I dry myself off and Im just standing here naked, incredibly
turned on, with Dans body flashing across my minds eye over
and over again, in various naked poses. The way I imagine him
naked is similar to how I last saw him naked, with his huge cock,
but this time his muscles are bigger. Hes more ripped, more
chiseled, and simply more hardened. His face is more chiseled
now. Hes a real man now. I wonder if he can act like one?
I need to go out there and talk to him. After all, apparently
hes only in town for a couple days, and then hes heading back
to training and playing in the pros. Hes got a game coming up. I
know that for sure, because like I said, I do find myself tracking
him on the internet once in a while, even though I dont know
anything about football.
I try thinking about something else. I try thinking about the
most unsexy things I can think of, because I heard thats a trick
that guys use when they dont want to finish too fast when
theyre having sex, or when its really inconvenient that they get
an erection and they need it to go down right away.
This sounds absurd, but I find myself in the same
predicament right now. I cant go out there breathless, with my
nipples showing through the shirt the way I know they will.
Since my thoughts keep coming back to Dan no matter what,
Ive got to take care of this right now. Ive got to be a
professional and simply do the most logical thing I can think of.
Ill probably laugh at my foolishness later, but with how turned
on I am right now, this seems to be the best course of action
I slide my hand down between my legs, with one hand
cupping my breasts, and I close my eyes and imagine Dans
naked cock. Despite all my best intentions on being a
professional, here I am in the changing room of my own
business, masturbating to my old and one time flame.
My head tilts back and my eyes close.
My fingers are moving fast, very fast, as I picture Dan,
shirtless, naked, his muscles bulging, his cock throbbing. I
imagine what it would feel like to have him deep, deep inside me
again, his cock buried all the way up to the hilt, the girth of his
cock stretching me like it did once before, when it felt so, so
good, so intense.
The orgasm is building and building. It only takes me a couple
minutes before it explodes through me.
The pleasure streams through my body like a flood. I bite my
lip to keep from making any sounds.
Half a minute later, the pleasure is gone, the orgasm over,
and my breathing is starting to return to normal.
I feel my nipples and well, mission accomplished. Hell, this
isnt how it normally works for me, though. Its not like
womens bodies are analogous in so many ways to mens bodies.
But, this time, this was what I needed, just a quick release.
I head out and Sam gives me a strange look.
Is Dan still here? I say. I mean Mrs. Cambridge?
Did you know hes a pro football player? says Sam, his eyes
wide with respect and admiration.
Yeah, I say, hastily. Are they still here? I dont know
exactly how long my little dalliance in the changing room took,
but it couldnt have been that long.
Theyre in the parking lot, I think, he says, pointing out the
door. They just left
But I run out of the building before Sam can finish talking.
Mrs. Cambridge has already been loaded into the van, her
wheel chair and everything.
Dans in the drivers seat, with the window partially rolled
down despite the cool weather. I can see his face with his slight
stubble beard looking so hot, a look of determination running
across his face.
I run up to the window, and he gives me a smile as he sees
me, his face breaking from grim (yet hot) seriousness, into an
expression of joy. Thats a good sign, right? But, wait, what do I
want from him? Do I really want him back? I suddenly have my
Hey, I say, as his face appears suddenly next to mine
without the window acting as a barrier between us.
Hey, says Dan, grinning at me. Looks like you were quite
Oh, I say. Glad it worked well for you, Mrs. Cambridge, I
call towards the back seat.
Just ask her out already, Dan, she says, her voice somewhat
shrill and impatient.
I blush what must be a deep rose color.
You look cute when you blush, says Dan.
Im not blushing, I say, clearly feeling my face blush.
So says Dan. I hate to say it, but Im going to take my
moms advice for once in my life.
About time, says his mom, scoffing from the back seat.
and ask you out, says Dan.
Id love to, I say, quickly, way too quickly.
I havent even said where or when yet, says Dan.
Oh, I say, feeling dumb and too eager, far too eager.
How about dinner tonight? says Dan.
OK! I say, without a moments hesitation.
Dan gives me a wink, and says he better be getting on home.
I wave goodbye as he slowly drives the van out of the parking
lot. I bet the paparazzi would kill for a picture like this, the
famous womanizing football player, the hottest man in the
league, driving his wheelchair bound mother back from physical
I stand here in the cold without a jacket on, my face still
flushed. My whole body feels flushed, and I tingle with
This could become so many things
Suddenly, a worry pops into my head. What if hes still mad
that I never contacted him, never responded to his messages, to
his phone calls? But, then again, maybe he has come to
understand with time that I was going through that horrifically
difficult patch with my father dying and being on dialysis and all
Another worry (why cant my mind be still?), but this ones
more important. I agree in excitement to go to dinner tonight,
but that means that I have to get a sitter for Scout. Ive always
been home for Scout after school, since my life has just been
being a mom and working when Scouts in school.
I have no idea where I can get a sitter on such short notice.
Ive only hired a neighborhood girl a few times when I had to run
out to do some errands at the last minute, and she turned out not
to be too reliable, bringing her boyfriend over and drinking all
my wine and then lying about it, even when she had obviously
spilled plenty of it on the carpet.
The only person I could contact is my Aunt Donna, whos in
her late 80s now, but still sharp and as spry as a spring chicken,
as they say, if theres any truth to the expression at all.
I run back into the office, rushing past Sam, who looks at me,
Whats he start to say, but I brush past him, heading to
where my jacket and purse are.
I grab my phone and hit Aunt Donnas number.
I thought Id hear from you sooner, she says, having taken
what felt like ages to pick up the phone. She doesnt have a cell
phone and doesnt like them or understand them. She just has
one regular old landline in her house, and I can just picture her
getting more and more annoyed as it rings until shes finally
compelled to head over and pick it up.
Sorry, Aunt Donna, I say. But you know how busy Ive
been with setting up this new business.
All you young people and your ideas she says. Back in
my day, we just
Im going to have to cut you off right there, Donna, I say.
Youre starting to sound like a clich of an old person.
Oh, dear, says Donna. Thanks for letting me know.
I laugh at this.
Like I said before, always let me know when that happens,
says Donna, her voice sounding faint as she starts to
inadvertently hold the phone too far away from her face.
Youre doing that thing again with the phone, I say.
Anyway, Donna, do you still have your drivers license?
Of course I do! she says. I can see fine. Theyre going to
have to pry it out of my cold dead fingers.
Lets hope thats not too soon, I say.
Donna laughs at this. Shes not exactly your typical old aunt.
Shes different.
Im lucky I got the good genes, she says. Unlike your
I laugh, but it feels forced. Ive never quite caught onto
Donnas darker humor. And she can get pretty dark with it
Maybe that was too much, she says. Was that too much?
Donna, I say, interrupting her. Ive got a favor to ask you.
Can you come watch Scout tonight? Or I could drop her off at
your place.
Sure, says Donna. But what are you paying me?
That makes me laugh again, because Donna would never
accept payment for watching Scout, and we both already know
Just for a couple hours, I say.
You have a hot date or something?
Sort of, I say.
Donna laughs. Im happy for you, she says. I cant
remember the last time you were on a date. Fact is, I dont think
youve been on one since Scout was born.
I dont think so, I say.
We hang up and say goodbye, Donna cracking her usual jokes
all the while.
I finish up the rest of the day, which is really just one more
client, say goodbye to Sam, and then head to pick up Scout at
How was school today, honey? I say, as she clamors into
the car. I start pulling slowly away from the school, and shes not
listening to me because shes busy waving at her friends and
making funny faces at me. That doesnt bother me at all. In fact,
Im just glad she has so many friends.
It was great, says Scout, launching into a long explanation
of what happened at school, what games she played with her
friends, and what the teacher taught them.
I tell her all about how Im going to have dinner with an old
friend. Of course, I dont tell her that its Dan, that hes a famous
football player, or that hes her father. For this, I feel incredibly
I make Scout a quick dinner of macaroni and cheese and fried
chicken, and then head up to my room to get dressed.
It turns out I dont really have any clothes that look
appropriate for a date. I try on a couple things that I have left
over from six years ago or more, but I didnt have many nice
clothes back then, and these pieces already look incredibly
The doorbell rings and its Donna, winking at me.
Have fun, tonight, dear, she says. And if it gets really hot
and heavy, dont hesitate to call me and tell me to stay the whole
night. I brought my bathrobe and everything.
I blush. That wont be necessary, I say.
Oh? she says. Youre going to just fuck him and then come
back right home without spending the night?
Donna! I say, exasperated. She can be a little much
sometimes, despite her age.
Aunt Donna! cries Scout, hearing Donnas voice, and
running in from the other room to give her great aunt a hug. I
hope she didnt hear what Donna was saying.
I say goodbye to the both of them and head out to my car.
Dans texted me the address of a restaurant in town that Ive
never been to before. Its some kind of gastro pub, whatever that
is. Ive passed by in my car sometimes, when, during the
summer, I would gaze at the happy couples and happy groups all
smiling and joking with each other, clinking their beer glasses
together. The feeling of being left out, of being the outsiderits
only grown stronger with the years. If I didnt have Scout, I dont
know what Id do.
But somethings right. Donnas been right all along. I need a
man, and not just any man, but one who can give me what I
I just ended up wearing old jeans that have a tear in the knee
and a somewhat decent top, with my jacket over it, of course. Its
just a regular practical winter jacket that any non-stylish mom
like myself would wear. Im going to look like an idiot, I think to
myself, looking at myself in the mirror and doing some finishing
touches on my makeup.
It only takes me a few minutes to drive over to the gastro pub.
Dans not here yet, and the waiter gives me a skeptical look
when I tell him that someones going to be joining me.
To calm my nerves, I order a glass of white wine.

S hes sitting there all alone with a glass of wine when I come
in, looking as hot as hell, hotter than Ive ever seen her look
You look incredible, I say, swooping down and giving her a
kiss on the cheek.
I notice that a couple people around the gastro pub are giving
me looks. Some of them recognize me from football and some of
them are just women checking me out.
Good to see you, she says, looking up at me with her
beautiful, wide eyes.
It feels like we were never apart, I say, suddenly thinking
thats a stupid thing to be saying. But whats going on? Im the
famous Dan CambridgeI dont second-guess myself. Not now,
not ever.
But shes making me second-guess myself. Shes making me
do this. Its her beauty.
Is she going to leave me again, leave me in the dirt?
I open my mouth but I cant think of anything to say. Instead,
to steal some time away, I call over the bartender with my hand
and order a stout, a good thick beer for a day like today.
We stare at each other in silence. Shes smiling at me, and
looking right into my eyes.
Im smiling back at her, feeling comfortable, happy but also
strangely nervous.
What the hells going on? I dont feel nervous. I just dont.
Ive never once felt nervous before or during a game. People have
even commented on it. Often my teammates will be vomiting
into the bathroom stalls before a big game, and swearing
amicably at me because Im not even breaking a sweat yet.
This shit is like bread, I finally say, when the beer comes
and I take a sip of it.
That was a dumb thing to say.
Chloe bursts out laughing.
What? I say, probably sounding annoyed even though
thats not how I intend to sound.
You look nervous, she says.
I do? I say. I never get nervous, though.
Well apparently now you do, she says.
I shrug my shoulders.
So tell me about yourself, I say.
She seems like shes about to say something, and then
changes her mind. I wonder what it could be.
So many emotions are running through me. I dont know
what to think. My mind feels numb, or more like overtaken
completely by emotions that simply floor me. I realize now that
theres a reason Ive been dreaming about her all these years.
Shes not just beautifulshe does something to me, something
that I cant explain, something that I dont have any power over,
something as intense as the stars something more intense
than football.
We stare at each other, without saying a word. It seems like
all the words have already been spoken, even though weve
barely said anything to each other.
Do you want to get out of here? I suddenly say, blurting out
the words far, far earlier in the night than I would have liked to.
Im suddenly feeling all nervous. Im never nervous on dates,
hookups, or whatever. Simply never. I laugh nervously. I guess I
said that too early, I say, as she just stares at me, now a smile
working its way across her face. Thats more like something Id
say at the end of the night, after weve had a few drinks. And its
been a whole five minutes since weve been here. Shes still not
saying anything. Just smiling at me. The tension is killing me.
Come on, youve got to say something to me.
OK, she says.
OK what? I say, confused. I feel dazed, bedazzled, a
thousand things at the same time. I dont know what the hell
she means.
Lets get out of here, she says, giving me a wink.
I feel a smile breaking across my own face. Seriously? I say.
That was easy And I dont mean to say that youre easy.
She shrugs her shoulders and gets up from the table.
I get up too, trying to not knock my hard, bulging cock against
the table as I do so. She looks down meaningfully at it and her
eyes widen but she doesnt say anything.
I take a few twenties from my wallet and toss them down on
the table without paying any attention to how much Im paying,
or for what. At this point, if you asked me, I wouldnt be able to
tell you if wed eaten or what wed drank. I feel like Ive been
here for hours and hours, simply stunned and entranced by her
radiant beauty, my cock growing ever harder by the minute.
Somehow this doesnt seem strange, she says, taking me
by the hand and walking me through the restaurant.
Im not paying the least bit of attention to my surroundings.
Everything except the muscular bubble ass in front of me is
completely out of my attention span.
She pulls me along by the hand and my cock is raging hard,
threatening to break through my jeans. I can catch a glimpse of
the sides of her breasts when she turns briefly, her body moving
like water as she navigates through the tables of the restaurant.
She turns to me, her long hair flowing behind her, flapping,
making her look even more beautiful. I want to take her right
here in the restaurant, despite all the people, all the chatter.
More realistically, I want to take her into the bathroom and
plunge my cock deep inside her. Then Id take her to the car and
do the same thing, damn the cops and everyone else. But I can
wait. I can take her to the nicest hotel in town.
Everyones staring at us, she says.
Thats because youre so beautiful, I say. They cant take
their eyes off you.
She laughs and shakes her head.
Theyre all looking at you, she says. Are you famous or
something? She says it sarcastically, with a twinkle in her eyes.
I shrug. I wasnt paying attention, I say. I was just paying
attention to you.
Suddenly shes pulling me along faster and faster, and were
rushing through the restaurant and giggling like the teenagers
we were when we were 19 years old and didnt know yet what the
world had in store for us.
We dont give a damn if people are looking at us. We finally
burst out of the stuffy, dark atmosphere of the restaurant and
head through the doors into the night, which is dark and cool.
She shivers and I put my arm around her. We stand here at the
entranceway, looking at each other.
I lean in and kiss her and she kisses me back. Its a deep kiss.
Suddenly, were pressing against each other, making out
heavily. My arms are all around her, massaging her breasts,
going up under her shirt now. Her hands are on my ass, my back,
running through my hair, going every which way imaginable.
Ive wanted you for so long, I whisper to her, my voice so
low its practically a growl.
I want you now, she says, her voice sweet and barely above
a whisper.
Lets get out of here, I say, as the restaurant door swings
open and people start to come outdoors, probably for a cigarette
Where should we go? she says, giving me another kiss.
She moves her mouth down toward my neck.
My cock is raging hard, harder than its been a long, long
time. Her body feels amazing against mine, so soft and supple,
so sexy and hard so perfect.
Im staying with my parents, I say. But what about your
Oh uh she pauses, hesitating. A worried look comes
over her face.
What is it? I say.
I have a daughter she says.
I cant concentrate on that now. I cant even absorb the
information properly.
Well get a hotel, then, I say. Thats no trouble.
I know, she says, suddenly. I know where we can go. Its
better than a hotel.
My pool. At least Ill get some use out of that building?
I guess she means that business isnt going that well, but
with my cock threatening to break through my pants, and her
body against mine, I cant think about that either now.
We drive over to the pool. Im at the wheel, and her hands are
fumbling all around my crotch during the entire drive. Her hands
are up against my cock through my pants, stroking along it.
Youd better stop, I say. Or Im going to crash. And then
were not going to get to have any fun.
I cant believe were doing this, she says.
I know, I say. Its been so long
Theres a silence, and I know were both wondering the same
thing: why was there such a long pause in our relationship? After
how we felt about each other when I was in college, why did it
take so long for us to meet again? Why did it take a simple
coincidence, a simple turn of fate to throw us together again?
But now that were back together again, theres nothing that
can be done. The cards have been dealt. The die has been cast,
and theres no turning back now, even if I wanted to, and
obviously I dont. And neither does she. I know it. I can hear it in
her voice. I can read it in her body. She wants me as much as I
want her.
I pull up to the abandoned parking lot and she kisses me. Our
arms are all around each other, our hands touching hot and
warm flesh. Its almost as if I dont know my hands or my body
from her own. We arent even naked and the windows in the car
are steaming up in the cold weather outside. Its just like when I
was in college I have a brief flash of what it felt like when she
never called me or texted me back, the terrible way it made me
feel and the way I responded by becoming a horrible
womanizing piece of garbage who treated women somewhat
horribly in fact, I was famous for it. Well, this time is going to
be different. I promise myself that.
If only shell give me a chance this time. Id throw everything
away for her. This is crazy that I feel like this already. But these
feelings have been here all along. Theyve just been
overshadowed by the wounds that come with falling away from
the one you care about so much the intensity is just hard to
recover from.
Her hair streams down her head, light from the moon glinting
off each strand that I can see individually a thousand little
pieces of her beauty radiating out from her.
Come on, she says. Someone let me have the keys to this
great pool. We can sneak in.
She holds up the keys that jingle and glint in the moonlight.
Theres a mischievous glint in her eyes.
So were pretending that were breaking into the pool? I
say, my lips curling up into a smile.
I see the twinkle in her eyes and she winks at me.
Yeah, I say. Lets break in. Hopefully the security guard
wont catch us.
This is like a game were playing, and its a fun and hot one.
Giggling and whispering at each other, we get out of the car
into the cold and she huddles against my body for warmth. We
cant stop giggling as we rush over to the building, ducking down
as if were trying to hide from a security guard.
This is just the sort of thing we could have done for real if
wed both gone to the same college, or if wed really gone out
after that one night. We could have had all sorts of fun as young
twenty somethings. Now were a little older. Were still young,
but no amount of pretending and role playing is going to change
the reality that were both adults now with our own
responsibilities. Im a professional athlete, and in a day Ive got
to get back to the team, back to training, back to running for my
life and for my money on the hard fake turf field with huge guys
barreling toward me, trying to crush me into mush. Shes got a
business to run and a daughter a daughter. I wonder whose it
is? Was she seeing someone after me? How old is her daughter?
I got it! says Chloe, her voice an excited and hushed
whisper. The key worked!
This little fantasy of ours snaps me out of my circling
thoughts, and I grab her ass and pull her towards me and kiss
her deeply.
She pulls away from me and rushes into the building. The
lights are off, and I can smell the chlorine scent of the pool. It
doesnt smell like a harsh chemical, but instead like a thousand
summers of missed youth the sun barreling down
Catch me if you can, cries out Chloe.
In the dark, her voice is exactly as it was that night near
Thanksgiving so many years ago. Its as if the years havent
passed, as if nothing ever changed, as if her dad never died, and
as if

I ve become so used to seeing this as a place of business, that

its incredibly fun to pretend to break in here during the
And at my side, giggling along with me, is Dan Dan, my one
night stand sweetheart that I didnt have the courage to confront
my feelings for Dan, the father of my daughter.
He doesnt know, but thats not on my mind right now. There
are more important things
The air is thick and steamy. The heaters in the pool must have
been left on overnight. Normally, Id be worried about how that
will affect my electricity bills. But right now, bills are the last
thing on my mind. All the worries are gone, and it feels like
theyre never going to come back. I feel free and joyous, giddy
and excited.
And not to mention turned on.
Incredibly turned on.
Im intensely aware of Dans powerful body next to mine, his
heavy breathing, and his rock hard cock that I cant help but
brush my hands up against.
The air is thick and warm, the smell of chlorine somehow
seeming sweet rather than its normal chemical reek that I
always despise. The place is full of memories that never existed,
but it already feels nostalgic. The lights are off and the pool is
warm and inviting.
Come on, I say. Lets go in. I didnt bring my swimsuit,
That shouldnt be a problem, should it? says Dan, grinning
at me.
He pulls his shirt off his head, revealing his muscled torso.
Its been years since Ive seen him without his shirt off, and hes
grown. Hes even more muscular now than before. Hes simply
bigger, more massive, more powerful. Hes a fully muscled man,
his body hardened from countless workouts, but theyre not just
glamour muscles. These are real muscles that do real work. Both
on the football field and off. I know from reading about his
training program online that he works out both in the gym and
also in other more creative ways, like chopping wood, dragging
piles of wood, flipping old tires, those sorts of really manly
things that people used to do out of necessity, before fancy gyms
with weights and clean walls. As a physical therapist, I know that
this actually has a lot of merit to it, no matter how strange the
idea seems.
But I cant think about this now, because Im so turned on
His torso seems to shimmer in the humidity. His shoulder
muscles are massive and chiseled. His abs are at least a six pack,
if not more, but I dont have time to count them, those beautiful
little indents that line his stomach.
He approaches me, and before he gets to me, I pull him
towards me.
His strong arms reach around me and he places his big rough
hands on my back.
Ive wanted you for so long, I whisper at him.
Me too, he says.
I dont ask him why he never contacted me. No, this isnt the
time. If I want this to work out, Ill have to bring that up later.
Much later.
I adjust the straps of my dress, pushing them down my
shoulders, and I let my dress fall down to my feet where it piles
Thats more like it, says Dan, gazing down at me
appreciatively. I never forgot how beautiful you are naked.
Same goes for me, I say. And its true. I cant think of how
many times I fantasized about him, about his naked body on top
of me, his thick cock penetrating me over and over again.
Lets go for a swim, I say.
Lets wait until after, says Dan, kissing me again.
Were on the deck to the pool, which is completely dry.
The moonlight is coming in through the windows and
reflecting in the pool. I never thought Id say it, but he indoor
pool looks beautiful, simply romantic and heavenly.
Theres a cot that doubles as a massage table over to the side
that Ive never used much.
Come here, I say to Dan, pulling him along towards the cot.
It feels strange to be doing this in such a big room, a room
that would usually be filled with people, provided I had a thriving
practice, or if the pool was used as a community pool.
But were the only ones here, completely alone in the
moonlight, near the warm water that heats the air around us.
Were making out heavily, and my hands reach into his
boxers for his cock, which is a slab of rock hard flesh, just
waiting to penetrate me. I wrap my small hand around it and tug
ever so lightly, pulling my fist from the base of his cock towards
the massive head. I add a little more pressure, tightening my
grip ever so slightly. I can hear Dans breathing change as he
becomes more breathless.
Dans hands are on my breasts, with a light touch. It feels so
good that I almost become breathless instantly, my eyes
instinctively closing and my head tilting up towards the ceiling,
exposing my long neck to him.
He seizes the opportunity and kisses me gently on my neck.
Now he kisses my earlobe, and runs his tongue down along my
neck. I can feel his hot and rapid breath on my neck.
Im not shivering at all because of how warm the air is. It feels
sultry, as if were on a tropical beach somewhere far, far away,
rather than in ice cold Pennsylvania, where the winds blow and
the sky has been grey for a week, if not a month.
With deft fingers behind my back, Dan unhooks my bra in a
single motion, and it falls away from me.
His hands work along my naked breasts, tracing them,
outlining them, cupping them, and massaging them.
He lowers his head, bringing it to my breasts, and takes my
left nipple between his lips.
I moan involuntarily, and he kisses my neck again, bringing
his chiseled face up from my breasts. His hands remain cupped
under my breasts.
Im almost naked, but the air is warm with hot humidity from
the pool.
Ive wanted you for so long, says Dan, his voice barely
above a growl. I need to have you.
I need you too, Dan, I say, breathless. There are so many
things I want to tell him. I want to tell him that hes my
daughters father, that I wanted to contact him for so long. I
want to tell him how scared I was, how much that night meant to
me. I want to tell him how hard its been for me, and how much I
need a man in my life, not just any man, but him, Dan, the father
of my daughter.
Dans hands are around my hips and he picks me up with ease
and places me on the cot, which is cushioned well. I nod at him,
and we look each other directly in our eyes. His pupils are wide,
and I can see the lust he has for me deep in his eyes.
His strong hands are on my legs, running up and down them.
I still have my panties on.
Dan pushes my legs apart gently. I can feel his muscles
Now, he puts his fingers underneath the band of my panties,
and pulls them down so that theyre below my hips.
Dan growls, realizing hes made a slight error, and pushes my
knees back together, so that he can pull my panties all the way
off, all the way down to my ankles, and then off. Now Im
completely naked.
Dan kicks his boxers off completely, and I see his massive
cock jutting out towards me, thick and throbbing. Id forgotten
how solid it was, how incredibly massive it is, how big and
bulging the head is.
He leans down and licks me along my inner thighs, running
his tongue all the way up.
His tongue connects with me and licks me gently, ever so
gently, but his tongue is rough and Im aware of every single
inch of it, of this intimate part of him. Theres nothing as
intimate as having a man lick you so gently
I gasp in pleasure as he continues to lick me. Soon, the waves
of pleasure are coursing through me. Hes using his tongue in a
way that I remember, but hes refined his technique. Hes more
of a man now, and hes better, more skilled, and more sure of
himself, if thats even possible.
Oh, Dan, I say, moaning, my head tilting back, my eyes
closing. I put my hands on his head, running them through his
hair, as I pull his head farther down into me. His tongue keeps
working away, and soon Im approaching orgasm.
It bursts through me like sunshine, like happiness coursing
through my body, filling my chest, my solar plexus, running all
the way down to the tips of my toes and up to the top of my
Im still gasping but I manage to say, I need your cock, Dan.
I need you, growls Dan.
Still standing, with me still sitting, Dan spreads my legs even
further with his hands, holding them up into the air.
His cock is pointed at me and he approaches me slowly.
Gingerly, he easily drags me on my butt towards the very edge of
the cot so that my pussy is only an inch away from his throbbing
The head of his cock comes into contact with me, and I moan
just from this very slight contact.
You on the pill? says Dan.
I shake my head. I havent been with anyone in so long
theres no need for me to be on the pill.
Just in case, says Dan, reaching down and taking a condom
from his pants pocket.
You came prepared, I say, my voice heavy with the sounds
of my breathing.
Dan winks at me and the condom is undone in a flash and on
his cock.
It looks hot in a condom, I say.
And its true. His cock cant be diminished at all in its
hotness, whether or not you put a rubber on it, or, more
accurately, a thin piece of latex.
The last time we were together flashes through my mind. The
condom broke didnt it? Thats why I have Scout now, the joy
of my life. Im glad the condom broke. Ive never been more glad
about anything in my life.
Dans eyes dont leave mine as he plunges his cock slowly
into me.
It goes in deep and slow. I gasp as I swallow up the whole
girthy length of his immense cock. The base is thick and it comes
in, all the way to the point where nothing more can come in,
nothing at all
You feel so good inside me, I say, gasping for breath.
I love being inside you, growls Dan.
Hes completely on his first slow stroke now. He fucks me
slowly, in the standing up position, his hands on my legs.
I want you on top of me, I say. I want to feel your body
close to mine.
Dan pulls out his cock and I instantly long for it again, long
for it inside me. Ive never been so hungry for anything in my
life, never been so completely desiring of anything. Its all I can
think about.
I lie back on the cot, which is surprisingly soft and
comfortable. I lay my legs out flat.
Dan gets onto the cot, which makes a sound with his massive
football player muscular weight.
Hes on top of me, pressing his torso down onto me. His skin
is warm to the touch, and feels wonderful against me, against my
breasts, my stomach.
His hands are around my face, cupping it, and he kisses me, a
long and delicious kiss.
Dans cock plunges into me once again. Hes pumping into
me now, a little bit faster, and Im moaning with the pleasure.
The lights are still off, but with the moonlight, I can see his
face, and I can see him gazing into my eyes. His hands are
around me, on my breasts, and on the cot, bracing himself, as he
begins to fuck me faster and faster.
Im moaning with the pleasure. He fills me up completely.
Its been so, so long since Ive had sex, and Ive certainly never
had sex like this before. Nothing has ever compared to the
pleasure Im feeling.
I cant believe that its Dan, Dan inside me again, his massive
cock filling me up. I can barely believe that he wants me, that he
longs so much for me, that he desires me so much he wants to
sink his cock deep into me.
You feel so good, baby, growls Dan, as he swings his hips
and stabs me again with his massive cock.
I love having you inside me, I moan, and I bite him lightly
on his neck.
Dan pushes his body harder against mine and starts really
pounding into me.
I cant resist any longer, he growls. I need you and I need
you now.
You already have me, I say, moans escaping from my
I need more of you, growls Dan, his voice deep and throaty,
powerful and sexy, simply strong.
He jams his cock into me with greater force and I cry out. Hes
pumping into me fast now, fucking me with all his might, really
throwing all his huge manly force behind each thrust of his thick
Oh yeah, baby, growls Dan, a look of pure concentration
and desire on his face. That feels good, doesnt it, baby?
I nod my head and whimper. That feels good, I cry out.
Harder, Dan. Faster. I need your cock so much
He doesnt disappoint, not in the least bit.
His weight is completely pressed into me now. Hes not
supporting himself with his hands, but instead just letting his
huge body rest against mine. Hes holding onto the tops of my
shoulders with his strong hands so that he can have some
leverage to fuck me harder and even faster.
I want to take you from behind, growls Dan.
He helps me flip over, and now my breasts are pressed into
the cot. His weight comes on top of me from behind and it feels
good, oh so good.
I feel safe with his weight all around me, his strong body
protecting me from the outside world. The air is hot and Dans
body is hot, practically on fire, his muscles working just as they
would on the football field, probably even harder. He uses all his
energy to pound his cock into me.
He penetrates me again, from behind. His cock hits the walls
of my pussy in a different way, filling me from a different angle.
Hes hitting that mythical G-spot that Ive never
experienced. But, let me tell you, once you feel it like I do, youll
know it. Oh, youll know it.
I gasp with the pleasure.
I think Im screaming, but Im not sure.
The orgasm is starting. Im starting to come, with the feeling
rising from his cock and rushing through my body, up to my
solar plexus, through my stomach.
Im gasping, with my face pushing down into the cot. Dan
turns my head with his strong hands and kisses me deeply on
the mouth.
In this instant, I come, the orgasm ripping through me like a
I cry out. My vision is blurry, especially around the edges. I
close my eyes and see a cascade of colors swishing through my
minds eye. This is the most intense orgasm Ive ever felt.
Dan doesnt stop pounding into me, not even for a moment.
Hes grunting savagely as he fucks me. Im going to come,
he growls, towards the tail end of my powerful orgasm.
Give me your cock, I say. I want it in my mouth.
Dan gets off me and we change positions again. Hes got his
feet back on the pool deck, and I crouch on my hands and knees
on the cot, right at his cock level. I pull my mouth down and he
inserts his cock between my lips, which I squeeze tightly.
Dan is panting and I can feel his hot breath on me as he leans
down and kisses me on my neck, his abs rippling as he does so.
His cock is impossibly swollen, the head impossibly large. I
feel like I can almost taste and smell his come, even though it
hasnt come out yet. His cock seems to be throbbing, in
complete need of release, the lust and tension built up to the
absolute limits.
I taste his cock and its musky manliness, a strangely sweet
taste. Its been so long since Ive had his thick cock in my
mouth. It completely fills me up.
I purse my lips to create more tension, and use my tongue to
swish around his cock. Dan groans and I get pleasure in giving
him pleasure.
Hes bucking his hips slightly, thrusting his cock very slowly
in and out of my mouth, and at the same time Im bobbing my
head, running my mouth up and down around his shaft, my hair
flowing messily around his cock.
With one hand, I grab the base of his cock and squeeze,
wrapping my delicate fingers in a fist around the thickness of his
Dan groans again. That feels good, baby, he growls.
Dans fucking my mouth harder now, faster, and I just keep
my head in place as he shoves his cock into me.
Oh yeah, growls Dan, his voice full of manly pleasure,
masculine satisfaction.
My own orgasm is over, with the afterglow still making me
feel tingly and warm, but Ive never wanted someone else to
come as much as I want Dan to right now. Our bodies feel
connected in a way that I havent felt before.
Im pumping his cock with my fist and hes thrusting into my
fist and my mouth. His cock starts to pulsate and I know that
hes about to come. Hes grunting.
I remove my mouth from his cock and Dan growls with
appreciation as he looks down at my face and cups one of his big
powerful hands under the side of my jaw.
The condom is already off, but I didnt notice that hed taken
if off right after taking it out and putting it inside my mouth. I
guess I noticed, but not in the normal way. Now Im fully aware
of his cocks naked flesh and I watch as his hand moves in a blur
across his cock.
His cock erupts, vibrating, as his come shoots out of it, onto
part of my face.
I want to drink it all up. What was once a seemingly
disgusting substance now seems like the most delicious thing in
the whole world. I want to drink it all down, but not a drop gets
into my mouth.
I run my tongue over my lips and taste just a drop of it, a
delicious and sweet substance, somewhat salty with Dans
Hes gazing down at me, like Im the most beautiful creature
in the whole world, his eyes and pupils large, his muscular chest
rising and falling as he pants with the exertion of having just
Come here, baby, I say, pulling him down towards me on
the cot. Its been so long.
We get into the spoon position, with him around me. I feel
safe, with his muscular body wrapped around mine. His half
hard cock is pushed up against my ass and I can feel it as it
shrinks slightly from minute to minute.
Its been so long, says Dan, whispering from behind into
my ear. Why?
The words seem to have come out with some great effort. I
can tell he was thinking about asking me, about asking me what
happened, why I never called him, why I never contacted him at
The words seem to hang heavy in the air for a very long
minute before I manage to open my mouth to answer.
I dont know what happened, I say. Im sorry, Dan. Ive
thought about you for so long. That night was important to me in
ways that you couldnt have imagined
I cant tell him But I should tell him. I have to tell him. I
have to tell him about Scout, his daughter. Our daughter. But
theres no way I can do it. After all, even if he can forgive me for
not talking to him, not calling him back, theres still no way he
can forgive me for not telling him that we had a daughter
together. Theres no way someone could overcome that. I did a
horrible thing, and now Im forced to do another horrible thing
by not telling him
Its OK, baby, says Dan, his voice soft and sweet, and a pang
of guilt hits me in my stomach like a ton of bricks. Its going to
be OK. Its OK. I understand that things were really hard with
your dad and everything
His voice hangs sweet in the air, and the guilt hangs heavy in
my body.
Want to go swimming after all? says Dan.
I dont have a swimsuit, I say.
Dan starts laughing, a loud and raucous laugh that echoes
through the whole empty swimming pool thats lit just with the
The air is still soft and moist, warm and comforting,
enveloping our two naked bodies on the cot.
I guess I dont really need one, I say, which only makes Dan
laugh even harder.
Come on, he says. Youre going swimming swimsuit or
He takes me in his arms, picking me up easily from the cot, as
if I was a doll, and takes me to the pool.
Dont throw me in, I cry out, laughing as he pretends to
throw me into the pool. But he doesnt. I knew all along he
wouldnt throw me, even though it would be easy for him with
his immense and powerful body.
Come on, says Dan, putting me down on my feet on the
side of the pool.
With a jump, Dan executes a practiced dive into the pool,
barely making any splash.
Impressive, I say, when he appears again above water,
having swum under water the entire width of the pool.
Come on in, cries out Dan. Its warm.
I bet it is, I say, and I dive in myself.
Its been so long since Ive swum for fun, that I almost
completely forget how to do it. Most of my time in the pool, Im
helping injured and elderly people recuperate basic functions. I
never get any time for myself in the pool. Then again, I never
really get much time to myself these days. I havent for the last
five years at least. Even before that, I was spending all my time
taking care of my dad. That one night with Dan six years ago was
one of the times Ive felt the freest in my recent memory. And
now that feeling is coming back to me.
I dive in, hitting the water pretty well for not having practiced
diving in over ten years at least.
Whoo hoo, yells out Dan, laughing. Look whos an expert
Youre not so bad yourself, I say, swimming easily over to
him with a lazy freestyle, keeping my head above the water so
that I can look at him, admiring his masculine beauty in the
moonlight that reflects off the water.
Were both treading water and Dan leans in and kisses me. I
kiss him back, cupping my hands around his head, using only my
feet to tread water. I try to say so many things in the kiss that I
cant tell Dan right now. Maybe someday. Maybe someday, I tell
myself. But who knows when that day will come?

Y ou know, I say. I have to go back to the team

So soon? she says.
Were sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling our feet into
the warm depths.
I nod my head. Im sorry, I say. I wish I could spend more
time here with you. But maybe Maybe you could come out and
see me.
Oh, she says, pausing. It looks like shes thinking
something over. It looks like she has something she wants to
share with me, but isnt sure if she should say it, or how to say it.
Is there something you want to tell me? I say.
Oh, she says. Its just that Well, Im sorry I never
contacted you.
Its OK, I say. I shrug my shoulders. I mean, I guess I
would have liked things to have worked out differently, but who
knows, maybe we both needed some time or something. But I
just hope that things can be different this time. I mean, Im only
going to be a couple hours away.
But its a whole different life over there with the team, in
the big city, isnt it? says Chloe.
Not that different, I say. If youre wondering, Im not
going to be seeing anyone else.
She looks up at me and smiles. You sure? she says.
Im sure, I say, grinning back at her. Youre I dont
know what to say. There are so many things I want to tell her, so
many things I want to say to her, about how much she means to
me. But that would seem weird, wouldnt it? After all, how much
time have we spent together, all told? Just a few days, if you
added all the hours together.
Chloe suddenly looks upset. What time is it? she says,
sounding impossibly worried.
I look at my watch. About one, I say.
In the morning? she says.
I laugh. Of course, I say. I think shes joking for a minute.
This is just like when we lived with our parents and had to get
back at a certain time
Then I remember she has a daughter.
The news hits me like a brick in the stomach. So theres
someone else I wonder if the dads still in the picture. Doesnt
sound like it at all.
In that case, Id like to find the guy that was man enough to
fuck her but not man enough to stick around for her daughter.
What kind of man does that, especially with a woman like Chloe?
Someone would have to be out of their damn mind to leave her,
given what a woman she is, a spectacular woman.
I really have to get going, says Chloe, sounding frantic.
Your daughter? I say.
Yeah, says Chloe. I have a sitter well, its my aunt,
Your aunt? I say, getting up and finding a towel in a pile
and handing one to Chloe.
She starts drying off, and I cant help but keep my eyes on her
naked, glistening body. Her breasts have the most perfect curves
to them and her hips are magnificent. I get an eyeful of every
inch of her, from her toes up through her stomach, to her face,
to the very top of her head, where her wet hair clings.
Thats not the same aunt that the really old one, whats
her name?
You know her? says Chloe, sounding surprised.
I think I did some yard work for her once, I say. Right
before college. Id forgotten about her. And, honestly
You figured shed be dead by now? says Chloe, laughing a
I guess, I say, somewhat sheepishly.
She says shes too stubborn to die yet, says Chloe,
People like that are great, I say. Too bad there arent too
many of them left these days. Like your dad I mean I dont
know what to say.
I can see the mention of her father upsets Chloe. Her eyes
start to tear up a little.
I didnt mean anything by it, I say. I just Now I feel like
an idiot.
I really need to be getting back to Scout, says Chloe.
Scout? I say. Thats a great name.
And if things had turned out differently, maybe Scout could
have been my daughter. But thats the way the world is, isnt it?
Were always saying, If only If only things had been this way
or that way But you cant just tweak the past to your liking.
Youve got to live with whats here. The here and nowthats
the reality that we cant shake, no matter how much we try to.
Chloe and I get dressed, chatting a little, but I can tell that
Chloe is anxious to get home to her daughter, and I cant blame
her in the least bit.
I drive her back to the bar where her car is parked, and I lean
in and give her a kiss, but there isnt the same passion in the
kiss that there was back in the pool. Something is missing
there I dont know what could have happened in the short
time since we made love in the pool.
I was hoping to fall asleep with her in my arms, but then life
struck back with reality. Chloe has to get back to her daughter.
Maybe shes just nervous. Maybe thats why shes not kissing me
like she could. I almost said as she should. But she doesnt
owe me anything. She either wants to be with me or she doesnt.
You want to talk soon? I say.
Yeah, says Chloe. Of course. Give me a call.
But she sounds distracted, and it seems like something else is
on her mind as she walks back to her car. I watch as she bends
over. She starts the car and drives off without so much as a wave
back towards me.
I hope Im not back to where I started with her.
Whatever, man, I say to myself. Just dont try to think about
it. Theres nothing I can do.
But the chatter starts in my head: what if I did something
wrong? What if I could have done something different
But maybe Chloe just doesnt feel the same way about me that
I feel about her. She cant help that, right?
But I knowI know that somethings there between us. I felt
it and I know Chloe felt it too. And it wasnt just simple lust. It
was something much, much stronger, that I even have trouble
explaining myself. Its as if the universe has tied us together in
some strange fate, like theres this powerful link between us
binding us together, but that we both dont want to fully admit
it, perhaps not even to ourselves. But I know it. I know I want
her, like Ive never wanted anyone else before.
I have to wonder at the timing of her change of demeanor.
Everything seemed to change when she remembered that she
had to get back to her daughter, but it seemed like she was more
than just worried. After all, her demeanor simply changed too
Maybe shes thinking about the daughters father? Maybe
shes feeling guilty in some way, or worried
Damn, I hope hes not still in the picture.
But thats a selfish kind of thought to have. After all,
shouldnt I just be worried that things will work out for her well
in the end, rather than wondering whether or not she can be
mine? Well, maybe Im not just that great of a guy after all.
I drive back slowly to my parents house. Theyre both asleep
when I get in, and I get into bed and try to fall asleep. Its three
oclock before I finally realize that Im not going to be able to
sleep at all.
I get up, and write a note for my parents, telling them that
Im heading back, because of the traffic. True, the traffic is going
to be nonexistent in the middle of the night, but obviously thats
not the real reason Im leaving so early.
Along with the note, I leave the numbers of some helpers that
I contacted. These are people who can help my mom, taking her
back and forth from her physical therapy appointments with
Chloe. Theyre professional helpers who specialize in elderly
people with some kind of disabling life event. The people I
looked up all came with great references, and Ive already made
the initial contact with them, of course warning them that my
mother can at times be a bit of a handful.
The drive back to the city is long and its completely dark out.
I cant get my thoughts away from tonight, away from Chloe. But
I need to get my head back in the game. I know that I need to be
concentrating fully, especially after taking this unprecedented
break during the season. Coach is going to be riding my ass
pretty hard, going to be pushing me to my absolute limits, which
is OK. I like a challenge, and I like being pushed, so long as its
fair, so long as its good for the team in the end.
The drive is uneventful. Theres hardly another soul on the
road. I hit an easy 75 and keep going all the way into Philly. I
dont turn the radio on. On the side of the road, I can see the big
old refineries looming up. Theyre from a time when
Philadelphia was a completely different type of city, when it was
full of industry, and when the factories and foundries spewed
thick clouds of pollution into the air every day.
The pollution is gone today, and the air is cleaner, but with
the pollution the jobs vanished too. People are having a hard
time economically. Sure, not everyone. There are still the people
with cushy office jobs, but just walk around the city for a day and
you can see that people are really hurting, that theyre
struggling. Theyre not living on much money at all, and for
these people football is really one of their very few pleasures,
one of their few escapes. People complain that the fans just live
vicariously through us, the athletes, but I dont. I understand it.
If you dont have anything else to look forward to in your week,
then you really want your team to win. I understand why the fans
are so crazy for us to win. In reality, I have an obligation to them.
I just wish I had an obligation to something else, to
someone to someone like Chloe.
If I had a daughter with her, instead of whoever she had the
kid with, Id always be there I would have never left, not like
that other guy, whoever he is, that asshole.
My mind wanders here and there on the drive, and Ill admit
it heads into some pretty dark places.
I dont know what Im going to do if Chloe doesnt want me
this time. I cant go back to womanizing the way I was. Im sick
of it, sick to the depths of my stomach and my soul with it.
Theres never any connection. The women only wanted me
because Im famous, Im rich, and Im a good football player. Oh,
and because Im on television, too.
Theres no traffic. No noise from other cars. Just the sound of
my tires on the road, just the slight sound of the engine. The city
is looming up ahead of me, the tall skyscrapers dominating the
I get back to my place early in the morning, when people are
just starting to make their coffee, when theyre stumbling out in
their bathrobes, shivering, to fetch the newspaper from out
I drive slowly through the suburbs and head to my house.
Sure, I have an apartment in the city, too, but this is a little more
relaxing out here. I throw my duffel bag down in the kitchen
hallway and look out at the back yard for a moment. Theres
really nothing here. Sure, the house has furniture, and it has a
good view, but theres nothing growing in the back yard, and the
home doesnt have that lived in feel that a real home would
have. Really, I havent spent much time here. The place is like a
shell of a house, an imitation of a real home. If I had someone
like Chloe to share my life with, Im sure it would be different.
Thered be a small garden out back, and thered be a little bit of a
mess in the kitchen, not too much of course, but just enough to
make it feel cozier. The place would feel used, lived in, rather
than this cold, empty feeling that even the sun and the heating
system cant dissipate, no matter what.
There are a dozen messages from Coach on the home
answering machine, and I check my cell phones voicemail and
find another dozen.
I call him back.
Youre finally back? says Coachs gruff voice. Or you
decided to abandon us for bumblefuck Pennsylvania?
Its only a couple hours away, I say. And my mom needed
my help. I had to take her to the physical therapist.
With what were paying you, you could have just paid
someone to do that.
Im doing that now, I say. But it needed the special touch,
you know? It means a lot to her to have her son come home.
Yeah, yeah, says Coach, sounding even more annoyed than
usual. No more excuses, Dan. Youve got to get your ass in here.
Weve got a game coming up, remember?
Just one thing, Coach, I say. Ill be in to practice today, but
could I ask you a favor?
A favor? says Coach, his voice sounding bitter and mean,
rough and tough, like an industrial machine that hasnt been
oiled in decades.
Yeah, I say, unfazed by his tone. The idea has just come to
me, so I might as well try it out while Ive got Coachs attention.
You think you could wrangle me some special tickets to the
next game?
Im not the guy to talk to about that, says Coach.
But its easier, I say. This is a last minute thing.
Ill see what I can do, says Coach, before hanging up.
Sure, of course I can get tickets for friends to the game, but if
I go through Coach I can get the really good ones, make the
whole thing more special. Im thinking that I could invite Chloe
and her daughter out to the game this week. Maybe Chloe was
upset that I didnt ask much about her daughter, but maybe if I
can show that Im more of a family oriented guy than she
thought, well, maybe that way shell give me a chance this time.
Just maybe.
Im tired, but Ive got to get to practice. I make myself some
instant coffee, because Im a bachelor and dont even have a
coffee pot here. I throw some things into another duffel bag, and
get back into my car. Itll be good to get to the field earlier than
everyone else for practice. Ill take a shower and itll give me
some time to think.
On the way over in my car, with the cool morning air and the
morning sun, I think of what Im going to write to Chloe.
When I park in the lot, right in my reserved parking space like
always, I kill the engine, and write my message to Chloe.
Hey, I write, unable to think of anything better to say. Had
a great time with you last night. Was hoping you and your
daughter could come to my game this week. Special seats and
I look it over and dont think it sounds too idiotic, so I hit
send and hold my breath, hoping for the best. This better not be
like last time, six years ago.
But I know there was something something powerful
between us. I know that she cant stay away from me. I just know
it, deep in my bones, and in the very center of my heart.
Just thinking about her has got my cock hard again, so I have
to hold my duffel bag in front of me at an awkward angle as I get
out of the car and start walking towards the locker room, the
cool air nipping my skin, since Im not in the habit of wearing a
jacket, no matter what the weather. I was thinking that the cold
would kill my erection, but Ive got no such luck. Thoughts of
last night with Chloe swirl through my head, sending blood
rushing to my ever-growing hard cock.
Damn, I should have thought to take care of this before I left
the house. Even though my body is exhausted without any sleep,
my cock still wants Chloe, and is still raging hard for her.
I head into the locker room and Im the first one here, and
probably will be by at least an hour.
I strip down and my cock is as hard as ever. Heading into the
shower, I turn the water on hot, and let the steam tumble up
around me, making my body feel relaxed.
Chloes naked breasts are rushing across my minds eye. My
hand falls down towards my cock and I grip it without really
thinking about it. I let my fingers wrap around my hard shaft and
my head tilts back towards the ceiling and my eyes close, giving
me a better look at my memory of Chloes body. I remember
what she looked like naked in the pool, getting out, with her
hands on the pool deck, pulling her naked body out of the pool,
the water falling off her in cascades.
I imagine that Chloes here in the shower with me, with the
steam all around us, making us warm and comfortable. Theres
no one like her, no one that can compare to her beauty.
I picture her long, shining legs and where they meet in the
middle. In my imagination, her soft tight pussy clamps down
around my cock, sliding onto it, taking the whole thick length
inside her. She moans softly and tilts her hips, gyrating them up
and down at an angle. Her hands reach around my back and hold
onto my muscular, cut shoulders. I grunt and she moans. I thrust
my hips into her, pumping into her. Theres no condom, nothing
to distract from the pleasure of naked flesh on naked flesh.
She feels so good. Of course, its just my imagination but I
can trick my body somewhat with my mind.
My fist is working along my cock in a fury now. Im half in the
water, the shower stream hitting my hard back and ricocheting
off in a thousand little streams.
I thrust my cock forward, into my fist. My fist is a blur now. I
open my eyes and watch my cock, my own fist, pretending now
that its Chloes delicate little hand on my cock.
Im about to come. The pressure is building up, like a rocket. I
can feel my body tensing. I straighten my legs as I stand,
clenching all my muscles at once.
I want her so badly so badly.
Ill do anything for her.
My cock explodes and I sigh as the orgasm bursts through me,
waves of pleasure washing from my body.
Its good, but not anything compared to Chloe, to the real
thing. Its nothing compared to last night, and the orgasm leaves
me only briefly satisfied. My come washes away down the drain,
the hot water still blasting from the showerhead.
Sighing, I grab my bottle of body wash and squirt some into
my hand.
Got to get my head into the game.
I make suds from the wash in my hands, rubbing them
together, and start lathering up my body.
No fucking way! comes a shout from someone. Sounds like
some of my teammates have finally arrived. They burst into the
locker room, making a ruckus, laughing and cursing at each
Ive never felt more alone than right now, with my come
washing down the drain, with the teammates arriving, and with
Chloe so far away.

A smile comes across my lips as I read the text message from

Im just waking up, sleepily from the exertion from the night
before. My entire body aches, since I havent had much time to
be athletic, and Dan and I used our bodies in ways that Im not
used to.
The light is barely peeking in from behind the curtains, but
other than that the room is dark and stuffy.
Ive got to do something about this heating system, I think to
myself. It always makes the air in here feel stale. Well, maybe
when the business is doing better Ill be able to afford something
I know that Scout will still be asleep in her room. Unlike other
children and their parents, Im always up before her. I need to
wake her up every morning, no matter what. I imagine shed
sleep until noon like a teenager if I let her.
So Dan wants to invite the two of us to the game?
Ill admit that last night I became very, very worried about the
possibility well, the necessity of Dan finding out that Scout is
his daughter.
I feel horrible about this, and the sick, heavy feeling is still in
my stomach. But its not going to go away until I tell him. Well,
tell them both. Theyll be reunited, and if things work out, I can
already picture the smiles on their faces as they finally really
become dad and daughter.
But so much can go wrong.
My heart is starting to pound, beating quickly, as I think
about everything that could happen. Dan could become furious
with me, and Scout too, for that matter.
But I have to tell him. I simply have to.
I lay in bed for a few minutes, just gazing at Dans text, a flood
of different emotions still flowing through meanxiety, joy,
expectation everything under the sun.
Finally, its time to get up and make the coffee.
After a few minutes alone, I head over to Scouts room to
wake her up.
Wake up, honey, I say, gingerly patting her head.
I dont want to go to school today, says Scout, frowning as
soon as her eyes open.
Whys that, honey? I say.
She shrugs her shoulders in an exaggerated way. She must
have seen it on TV somewhere. It looks pretty funny, and I have
to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
Come on, I say. Lets get you some breakfast. And, Ill tell
you what, if you go to school all week, theres a special surprise
on Friday for you.
Whats that? says Scout, her eyes already wide at the
A friend invited the two of us to one of his football games, I
say. An old friend
The rest of the morning, Scout wont stop peppering me with
questions, the way young children do. She wants to know all
about this friend, and what he does. Shes fascinated by the idea
that hes on TV, and that we might be on TV if we go to one of his
Its good to get you out of here, I say. Itll be good for you
to go somewhere new with me. Youve never been to
Philadelphia before.
I havent?
I laugh. Youd remember it, I think, I say. Its a big city,
with a lot of people. There are going to be a lot of people at the
game with us.
Everyone in Philadelphia?
Not everyone, I say, chuckling a little. They wouldnt all
fit in the stadium.
I drop Scout off at school and head over to the pool to get
started on the workday. I try to push Dan out of my mind in
order to prepare for the work day ahead, but I really dont see the
point of this mental exercise. As of yesterday, there wasnt
anyone on the schedule for today, so upon pulling up to the
parking lot, I just expect a day of cleaning the pool to keep busy.
But as soon as I enter, Dans mother is waiting for me,
looking impatiently at her watch.
You took your time, didnt you, dear? she says, a somewhat
nasty look on her face.
This is my normal time, I say, trying to sound professional.
After all, I had to drop my daughter off at school.
Oh, what a shame, says Mrs. Cambridge.
Excuse me? I say.
Oh, its just that I was hoping Dan and you might get
I dont know what to say, but fortunately a very real choking
fit (it feels like something is caught in my throat) saves me from
having to respond. Little does Mrs. Cambridge know that I was
dropping her granddaughter off at school.
Well, I say, finally recovering. Why dont you get changed
and we can get started? Hows everything feeling today?
Quite a bit better, actually, says Mrs. Cambridge.
I know this is the most Im going to get in terms of a thank
you. Shes not one to sing the praises of anyone, thats for sure.
I get changed myself, after shes done, and then I help her
into the pool. We do many of the same drills and exercises as
yesterday, with a couple minor variations that I think will help
her regain mobility. Her hired helper waits patiently in the
waiting room, flipping through old magazines and watching
football videos on his smartphone.
So Dan left this morning for Philadelphia? I say, when the
session is finally over, and Im helping Mrs. Cambridge out of
the pool.
He left last night, dear, says Mrs. Cambridge.
Last night?
It shocked me too, she says. You wouldnt happen to
know anything about it, would you?
No I say.
I dont want to know about the personal business between
you two, says Mrs. Cambridge. Lets just leave it at where it is
now, shall we?
I appreciate her more old fashioned take on this sort of thing.
This is exactly the thing you dont want to get stuck having to
explain to your lovers mother.
Is he my lover, though?
I think back to the text. Sounds like Scout and I will visit him
in Philadelphia, as long as hes still up for it, and hasnt
forgotten about me already, now that hes back in the big city.
But I know there was something there, something powerful
that binds us together. I could feel it in his body last night, on his
lips when he kissed me, and in his eyes when he gazed into
The rest of the day passes uneventfully, without any more
clients, so I spend my time cleaning the pool, and trying not to
think about Dan too much. But in the end I spend all my time day
dreaming about him, about last night, about his body
I spend plenty of time worrying too, about what will happen
when I finally get up the nerve to tell him about Scout. Who
knows when that will be though, since the more I think about it
the more it seems silly and even foolish to break the news so
early to him. Maybe I should wait until later, when things are
going really well between us. That way he wont be able to get
mad, to be upset
But he would have every right to be furious with me. If the
tables were turned, and somehow I had a child without knowing
it (hard to imagine from a womans perspective, I know, but bear
with me), Id be devastated and beyond distraught if I were to
find out later. I cant imagine how hed feel if I told him
Maybe itd be better not to tell him. Maybe hell just meet
Scout and like her so much that hell adopt her, the two of us
marrying and living happily ever after, with Dan never knowing
the truth.
I go back and forth on this issue so many times in my head
that by the end of the day I feel sick to my stomach, and its not
just the smell of the pool cleaning products thats doing it to me.
I pick Scout up from school, fix her dinner, and the two of us
watch about a half hour of TV before I put her to bed.
Youve got to rest up, I tell her. Weve got our big trip
coming up.
Im not sleepy at all, though, says Scout, but its not to my
surprise at all when she falls fast asleep less than five minutes
later, her little child snores coming up from her pillow and
filling the room.
In the kitchen, I pour myself a small glass of wine and
continue to watch the TV for another few minutes in an effort to
distract myself, before turning it off in boredom.
Im only sitting in silence for a couple minutes when my
phone rings.
Hello? I say, smiling to myself because I already know its
Dan on the other end of the line.
You never got back to me about Friday, says Dan, his voice
taking on a mock serious quality.
Its a definite yes, I say. Scouts really excited. I tell
myself that Im just going to have to pretend for a little while
that Im not worried about Scout and Dan, and that whole
Good, says Dan. Im glad.
You sound really tired, I say.
I am, he says. Practice was torture. Coach wanted to
punish me for taking the time off.
Didnt you tell him you were helping your elderly mother?
Dan laughs. That sort of stuff doesnt cut it with Coach, he
says. He just doesnt care.
Sounds like a sweet old man, I say.
Dan laughs.
Its good to hear you laugh, I say.
Theres a pause on the other end of the line.
That was really fun last night, says Dan.
If thats what you want to call it, I say, laughing. I was
hoping youd describe it in I dont know, more sensual words.
Well, says Dan. There are a lot of ways I could describe it.
Ive been thinking about it about you all day. I couldnt get you
off my mind.
Thats the kind of talk I like to hear, I say. Keep going,
why dont you? Im trying to make a joke, but Dan takes me
Ive been thinking about your beautiful body, he says.
And, well, there was something special. You know what I mean?
I really feel like theres some kind of real connection between
I know what you mean, I say. I felt it too.
Theres a silence on the other end of the line.
I cant get you off my mind, says Dan, again, at least for the
second time this evening. I keep thinking about your body.
Whats it making you do? I say, trying my best to be coy. Of
course, Im wondering whether his cock is as rock hard as it was
last night, and whether or not hes touching himself. Are you
Yeah, says Dan. Im at my place. What about you?
Im headed to my room, I say. Im the only one awake in
the house.
I head into my own bedroom, and close the door behind me. I
make sure to lock it. The sound proofing is good in here,
although Ive never really had an opportunity to seriously test it.
Ive never had a man like Dan in here to really test it with.
Im completely alone, I say, into the phone. Im all
What are you doing? says Dan.
I giggle. Ive never had phone sex before, I say.
Oh? says Dan, acting surprised. Is that what were doing?
You know damn well thats what were doing, I say. Now
tell me, do you have your hand on that big cock of yours?
Not yet, says Dan. Maybe you could tell me how to do it.
How many times have you jerked off in your life and you still
dont know how to do it?
I just need some help, says Dan.
I bet Ive given you plenty of help already, I say, giggling. I
never talk like this, but with Dan, I find that its easy. It comes
out naturally, as if theres nothing to it. You probably jerk off to
me all the time.
Its true, says Dan, somewhat gravely. For the last six
I inhale sharply. I never would have imagined the guy I was
fantasizing about all these years, the guy I was longing for, the
famous football player that he was jerking off to me,
fantasizing about fucking me.
Thats so hot, I say. Now unzip your pants.
I can hear Dans breathing increasing over the phone and I
can almost make out the sound of his zipper coming undone.
Its out, says Dan.
Take it in your hand, I say. And slowly stroke it. And think
about me. Think about how good I felt last night.
Thats so hot, says Dan. Are you touching yourself?
Not yet, I say, my fingers posted right at the edge of the
waistband of my panties. Im wearing my pajama bottoms, my
panties, and an old t-shirt without a bra.
Slide your hand down there, says Dan, his voice deep and
I do as he says, and my hand slips down underneath the
elastic waistband and I touch myself. I can tell that Im ready.
Now massage yourself, says Dan.
Are you playing with your cock? I say.
Yeah, says Dan. Theres a slight pause. You got a laptop?
he says.
Of course, I say. But Im not interested in watching porn if
thats what youre about to say. You men are disgusting, always
watching porn
Dan laughs. I was going to suggest we video chat, he says.
Ill text you my user name.
See you in a second then, I say, glad that he cant see me
right now, blushing at my mistake.
Half a minute later, my laptop is open on the bed, and Dans
face appears on my screen. I turn my own video chat on, and Dan
gets a look at me in my t-shirt, without any makeup.
You look ravishingly beautiful, he growls, his voice hot and
heavy and deep.
Thanks, I say, blushing again, and this time he can see me.
Now give me a good look at that monster cock of yours.
Dan doesnt blush, of course. Instead, he grins at me, and
changes the position of his laptop so that the camera view shows
his whole body.
His pants are unzipped and pulled partially down. His cock is
truly massive in the camera, thick and long, with a slight curve,
his big head looking like its threatening to burst. Dans big
strong hand is gripping his cock lightly.
I want you to really stroke that cock for me, I say.
First youve got to show me what youre up to down there,
says Dan, smiling at me, perhaps a little wickedly, a little
I gingerly move the laptop so that it shows my whole body.
You dont care that Im in an old t-shirt? I say.
Youve never looked hotter, says Dan.
What about last night?
Well maybe not never, he says.
I giggle.
The thoughts of last night drive me into more of a frenzy. The
sight of Dans cock, too, is driving me closer to the edge.
Youve got to take off your pants and panties, says Dan.
I gingerly slide them down to my knees.
Thats better, says Dan, a slightly greedy tone to his voice.
Hes really stroking his cock fast now, sliding his fist up and
down it quickly. I can see his abdominal muscles tensing. His
shirt is off now. His arm muscles are bulging. He has a look of
intensity in his eyes.
Dans staring now at me, at my breasts, which I expose by
lifting up my t-shirt and showing my braless breasts.
His hand is a blur now on his cock.
Ive got one finger inside me, moving in and out easily, and
one finger on my clit.
The initial super-sensitive period has faded, and Im really
moving my fingers quickly now, my breathing rapid.
Im about to come, staring at his huge cock. Hes thrusting
now, into his fist. His breath is heavy. A moment later, his cock
explodes, his cock head erupting and his come shooting up, load
after load.
I come upon seeing it, the orgasm exploding through me.

O ne more day until the big game. Coach wants to ride me

hard, but he knows he cant today. Even the toughest athletes
need a day before competition to recuperate.
All week, hes had me been doing the most insane drills,
practicing footwork over and over, until there are blisters on my
feet and theres nothing in my head except footwork and plays.
People think football is simple. They think its just big guys
running into each other. Nothing could be farther from the
truth. Its insanely complicated. Some people have compared it
to chess, but in reality its even more complicated. Unlike in
chess, in football, there are always layers of strategy, layers of
movement and thought. For instance, Coach and the assistant
coach handle the plays, with some inputits really like
analyzing history, with strategic innovation thrown on top of it.
But its not like he can just command a play and thats it. Hes
got to have us, his players, able to execute the plays. And no play
ever goes fully as planned. We always have to innovate and
invent on the field.
Its as much of a mental game as it is a physical game. And
there are many components to the mental aspect of it.
Im tough though, I know that. Tough physically, but tougher
Today were supposed to be just resting and bonding with the
team, hanging out together, but not drinking, at least not too
much. Myself, I stay sober at least a week before the game, and
that means not a drop of alcohol, as well as a clean diet. The all
natural food, including plenty of protein, makes me function
Chloes supposed to be bringing her daughter into the city
today, and theyre going to be straying with me at my somewhat
empty suburban house, despite how boring it is.
Dan! shouts Coach, during our meeting to go over the
plays. You going to keep checking your phone all day or are you
going to listen to me for once?
Sorry Coach, I say, putting my phone away.
Chloe didnt call yet. Only a couple more hours to go until she
gets here. She did send a text message saying shes on her way.
Get your damn head in the game, shouts Coach at me.
But it doesnt matter. Hes always shouting at everyone.
My mind isnt on the game though, even though it should be.
Instead, its on Chloe. I just cant get her body out of my head. I
cant get the way she looked on the computer screen out of my
head as I stroked my cock to her. She made me come so hard,
and so fast, even though I was trying to go slowly.
Of course, in person, I can last longer.
Finally, the lecture is over, and Coach shuts down the
projector thats been displaying plays on the wall. I already have
them memorized by heart anyway.
My cocks partially hard from thinking about Chloe and all
the things Im going to do to her, so I stay seated for a minute.
Whats the word, Dan? says Jim, one of my teammates, and
probably the guy Im closest to on the team. Although Im not
one for having close male friends. Thats just how I am. Sort of a
lone wolf, I guess, by nature. It wasnt always like that. Back in
college, I had a ton of friends, and wed party and all that. But
something changed, especially after college, and Ive been going
the solo route with just woman after woman, that is until I
reconnected with Chloe, of course. You there, Dan, man?
Yeah, I grunt. Same as always, I guess, I say. You ready
for the game?
Dont try to front with me, says Jim. Front is a big Philly
expression that we all use from time to time, meaning dont
put on an act. You seem different, like youre distracted or
Doesnt matter, I say.
Well, it does matter, says Jim. If its going to be messing
with your playing. Shit, man, this is one of the most important
games of the season.
I know, I know, I say.
What is it, Dan?
A woman, I say.
To my surprise, Jim starts laughing, a deep laugh that echoes
all around us. The rest of the room is cleared out now. Even
Coach has packed up his presentation gear and left to brood over
plays in his office.
Youre getting all hung up on some woman? says Jim,
barely able to speak from his laughter. That doesnt sound like
Its not like that, I say. Shes someone special
I bet she is, Dan, says Jim, getting up and continuing to
laugh as he walks out of the room. Hes actually holding his
stomach because hes laughing so hard. Get this, guy, he calls
at some of the other players. Dans all hung up about some
I hear their laughter and I frown to myself as I get up and
head into the hallway, keeping my distance from them so that I
dont have to confront them.
I head home, and on the way I give Chloe a call.
You close yet? I say.
Were already here, she says, her voice sounding nervous.
You sound nervous, I say.
Im OK, she says. I guess we just beat the traffic and I
wasnt expecting to get here so soon.
Im sorry, I say. I should have left a key out or something
for you. I just didnt realize youd be here so soon.
Its OK, says Chloe. Ill see you soon, OK? Scouts really
looking forward to meeting you.
It sounds like she swallows hard as she says this and I wonder
why. Maybe shes just nervous about her daughter meeting a
new boyfriend.
Then again, am I her new boyfriend? We havent talked about
anything like that really, but in the back of my mind thats now
what Ive been hoping for. Hell, I havent had a girlfriend,
since Who knows when. I dont know if Ive ever really had
one. Ive had women that were friends with benefits for as long
as a month, but usually things just didnt work out that way.
Tell her Im looking forward to meeting her, I say. Ill see
you both soon.
I dont want to keep them waiting for long, and I figure that
Chloes daughter is probably hungry, so I put my foot to the gas
and merge into traffic on the highway.
My phone rings and I pick it up without looking at it, thinking
that it might be Chloe.
You resting tonight? says Coachs gruff voice.
Sure thing, Coach, I say, not really paying much attention.
After all, Ive got to pay attention to the road.
I heard some talk about you and some woman.
Thats my private business, Coach, I say, a little bit of anger
rising. After all, whats it his business if Im going out with
Just dont want anything to distract you from the game
tomorrow, says Coach, a bit of a threat in his voice.
Dont worry yourself too much about it, I say, knowing this
is going to sound pretty insubordinate and not caring in the least
bit. I want you getting plenty of sleep before the big game.
With that, I hang up the phone.
I laugh to myself. Thatll show him.
My phone rings again and I check it and its Coach. I can
picture him red in the face over me hanging up.
I swipe right, answering the phone, but I dont bother holding
it up to my ear.
I can hear him screaming at me from where the phone is on
the passengers seat.
Whatever. I hang up the phone. It rings again but I hit
Thatll show him. Whats he going to do, anyway? He knows
he cant run the team without me. Yeah, I know it sounds cocky,
but I really am indispensable.
I pull into the driveway and see Chloe and her daughter
sitting on the front stop.
My heart feels like its rising in my chest.
I jump out of the car in my workout clothes, probably smelly
as hell, because I did run a few laps today even though were not
supposed to be doing anything physical.
My phone beeps at me, and I look down. A text from Coach
that reads, At the very least, no sex tonight.
I laugh that one off. He cant run my life, no matter how
much he tells us no sex before a game, Im sure almost no one
follows that rule. After all, football players in general get as
much ass as they want.
Hey there! I yell out, waving at them.
Chloe gets to her feet, a smile on her face. Her daughter is
about five years old, looking like shes in kindergarten. She looks
up at me briefly, then looks down at the ground. She looks
nervous and holds her mothers hand.
Hey there, I say to her. I give Chloe a kiss on the cheek and
bend down on one knee to say hi to her daughter. You must be
Scout. Your moms told me a lot about you. Im Dan. Nice to
meet you.
Nice to meet you, too, says Scout, finally looking up at me a
Shes a cute kid, especially when she smiles. Shes got her
mothers eyes and mothers hair. Theres something very, very
familiar about her. Its almost like that feeling you get when you
meet someone again that you havent seen for a long, long time
and you dont recognize them at first.
Its so nice of you to host us, says Chloe, giving me a hug as
I stand up. Scouts never been to Philadelphia before.
That so? I say, winking at Scout, who looks down shyly at
the ground again. Well, were technically inside the city limits
right now, although most people would call this the suburbs. But
we can be sure to take you two girls into the city tonight to a nice
restaurant, and maybe we can even see the Liberty Bell. Have you
heard of that, Scout?
Scout nods her head. In school, she says, her voice quiet
and shy.
Well Im being a bad host already, I say, trying to play the
part of the good host. I havent even let you in the house yet.
Where are your bags?
Chloe shows me where the bags are in the car and I haul them
all in, unlocking the door and letting Chloe and Scout enter first.

D an gives us a tour of his house. Its a nice place, but its not
very lived in, and I get the sense that he really hasnt spent
much time her at all.
Yeah, says Dan. I dont spend a ton of time here,
Why not? says Scout. She seemed shy at first, but as we
walk through Dans house, she gets more and more comfortable
with him.
Well, says Dan. Im on the road a lot for work. They have
us traveling all over the place.
Whys that? says Scout.
Here she goes with the questions, I say. In reality, of
course, I try to encourage Scouts many questions, but with
people shes just met, I try to tell her to tone it down just a little,
since like all inquisitive kids, she can be a little overwhelming
for some people. But Dan seems like hes really good with kids,
although I do get the sense that he hasnt spent a ton of time
around them.
We have to play different teams from all over the country,
says Dan.
Cool, says Scout. Who are you playing tomorrow?
I told you, I say.
One of the new California teams, says Dan. Here you go
Scout, this is your room while you stay here.
Wow, says Scout, entering the room.
Dans done his best to make the bed, although I can tell he
doesnt really know what hes doing.
Its a huge bed! says Scout, whos used to her twin bed.
This one, though, is a king sized bed.
That looks like a lot of fun for you, Scout, I say. I think
youll sleep really well.
And heres a room for you, Chloe, says Dan, giving me a
wink that Scout cant see.
He shows me to another room.
Its nice, I say, smiling at him. I know as well as he does
that I wont be sleeping there, but I do appreciate the extra touch
of him pretending that I have my own room, for Scouts sake of
course. Of course, Scout wouldnt care either way, but I
understand that Dan wouldnt know that.
The two of them look so similar in some ways that its almost
uncanny. Sure, Ive noticed the resemblance before, but Ive
never seen them standing together in the same room before,
where their features really seem almost identical in some ways.
I feel a pang in my heart. I still havent decided what Im
going to do about this, about telling them. Dans the one I worry
about, of course. Im sure Scout would be delighted to have a
father, provided I tell him, that is.
But I feel like a horrible person, a complete fraud, staying in
Dans house like this without telling him the truth.
How can I go through with this?
I resolve right here and now that Im going to tell Dan before
we leave. I have to. I simply have to. Theres no other way, and
its the right thing to do. But just because its the right thing
doesnt mean its any easier for me to get my head around, for
me to stomach.
Dan puts my bags in my room, and then shows us the rest
of his house, including his room, which, like the rest of his
house, has almost nothing in it.
I catch myself wondering how I would spruce up the house if I
were to live here with Dan and Scout.
But that could never work, right? After all, I have my own
business hours away. How could it really work out between us?
But as I look at Dan and his body, the warm feeling comes
back into my chest, and I push the thoughts to the back of my
Well, says Dan. I can make you two gals something here in
the house for dinner, or we could go out to eat.
Out! says Scout, almost jumping up and down in
Youd think she wasnt well fed or something, I say.
Sounds like out is going to work well, says Dan, smiling.
What do you want to eat, Scout?
Pizza! says Scout.
I think your friends in school told you that the Philly pizza is
really good, right?
Scout nods.
Lets head into the city then, says Dan. Anyway, Im not
much of a cook.
Well have to work on that, I say, not quite sure myself
what I mean by that.
Dan gives me a quizzical look but doesnt say anything.
I guess it sounds like Im implying Im going to try to turn
him into a husband or something.
Honestly, I say, as we all pile into Dans car, a nice SUV. I
figured that all you football players were living in mansions or
something. I mean your place is nice, dont get me wrong, but
You were expecting something fancier? says Dan,
chuckling, as he puts the car in reverse and drives backwards out
of the suburban driveway.
Whats a mansion? says Scout.
A really, really big fancy house, honey, I say. A lot of
wealthy people and famous people have them.
Only the famous people who arent good with their money,
says Dan. Frankly, I never saw the need, and I dont spend
much time here, as you can see. I have another apartment in the
city, one that I just never wanted to get rid of. I mean, people are
always telling me real estate is a good investment, but thats
really only if you buy something sensible. Mansions depreciate
just like cars.
I never would have pegged you for being good with money,
I say.
Dan acts surprised and offended and I laugh.
He drives us through the city. We head along the Schuylkill
River, and he points out the art museum that looms on the
What a cool old building, right, Scout? I say, and shes
pretty impressed. We dont have buildings like that, huge stone
edifices, in our home town.
Thats where Rocky ran up the steps, says Dan.
I cant believe Ive never seen it, I say.
You didnt have a chance to get into the city much?
Not with Dad, and then Scout, I say. And now that Ive got
my own business, well, lets just say Im lucky to be able to steal
away today to come here.
Dan drives us through Center City, which is really crowded,
meanwhile pointing out all the different sights. Im feeling
sleepy and the sky is already dark, but Scout is completely
fixated on the sites.
We continue on over to South Street, a hip kind of street, with
all sorts of funky little stores and all sorts of characters walking
around that are enough to keep Scout amused for hours,
provided I can stay awake that long, of course. I had a client this
morning who wanted a double session, so it was an unusually
busy and tough day for me, especially considering the drive took
us an extra hour with the traffic. (Yeah, I left really early, since I
was anxious about meeting Dan on time.)
Theres a really good pizza place on the corner up here,
says Dan, pulling up alongside a car and then backing up,
executing a perfect parallel park.
I could never do that, I say.
Its easy, says Dan. Youre just not used to it.
Scout wants to order five slices just for herself, with all sorts
of different toppings, which is a little ambitious for a child of her
size and stature, so Dan and I agree to just order a large pizza
that we can all share.
This is really good, I say, taking my first bite.
Scouts already got her mouth full of a slice of peperoni,
sausage, and peppers, a look of complete contentment on her
This is good, says Dan. Ive got to carbo load for the big
They tell you to eat pizza? I say, laughing. I thought theyd
want you to choose something healthier.
Dan shrugs. They can tell us what they want, says Dan.
But we know what works, and thats basically just calories.
I laugh.
The rest of the cold crisp evening we spend walking around
South Street. Scout hasnt been anywhere like this before, and I
figure its a good part of her education to see different things.
She hasnt ever seen the types of characters that hang around
South Street, the artists, the punks, and the street musicians
who completely captivate her. I give her a couple quarters to
drop into the cup of a guy who sings and plays piano at the same
time, with, for some reason, a blindfold carefully wrapped
around his eyes.
Well, says Dan. Theres just one more thing I wanted to
show you girls, and then we can get going back home. Ive got to
wake up early tomorrow. And, dont worry, the seats are all set
for you. The tickets are at home.
He takes us down a little alley and the strangest sort of
building that Ive ever seen is at the end of it. Its a building
thats not a building at all, but more like a living piece of art, a
structure made completely out of old glass bottles, tires, and all
sorts of things that we would normally consider trash.
Isnt it cool? says Dan. I think its closed now, but its
called The Magic Gardens. If you come back in the day some time
with me, we could take a tour of the inside.
Wow, says Scout, reaching out and touching a piece of the
smooth glass that makes up the wall, along with cement.
Thats really something, I say.
Yeah, says Dan. The guy who made this basically spent his
whole life making similar art projects. He has murals all over the
Im cold, says Scout, starting to shiver.
I wrap my arms around her and suggest that its time that we
should be heading back.
Good idea, says Dan, checking his watch.
He guides us back to his car, and drives us smoothly out of the
city into the suburbs where his house is.
You look tired, Scout, I say.
I want to stay up with you two, says Scout.
I wink at Dan, and listen to Scout tell me why she needs to
stay up.
Of course, as always, a minute later, shes so tired she can
barely keep her eyes open, and I put her to bed, where she
promptly falls fast asleep and starts lightly snoring, her eyes
closed, her face up towards the ceiling, her cute little head
resting peacefully on the pillow.
I head back into my room for a moment, intending to get
changed into something more comfortable and perhaps more
Dan comes into my room, and smiles at me when he sees me
starting to pull my shirt off. I leave it on, and walk towards him
and wrap my arms around him, embracing him, and he kisses
me on the lips.
She get to sleep OK? he says.
I nod. She sleeps heavily, I say, giving him a meaningful
The walls are thick, he says. No sound goes from room to
room. One of the few upgrades Ive made to the house.
Good, I say. But you sure you dont need to rest up for the
big game? Im loving this little game of double entendre that
were having. Ive never thought of myself as someone whos
good at flirting, but maybe Im good at flirting once Im already
in a relationship. But is this a relationship?
Dan opens his mouth but for a moment I realize Im not
listening at all to anything he says. All I can think about is that
this would be a great moment to tell Dan about Scout, that shes
his daughter, and that I hid the pregnancy from him. But,
theres always an excuse in my mind. I can talk myself out of
anything if I really want to, and right now Im rationalizing not
telling him by telling myself that I dont want to screw up his
performance tomorrow at the big game.
You there? says Dan, looking at me with a concerned look
on his face.
Oh, yeah, I say, snapping out of it.
You didnt seem like you were listening? says Dan. Are
you feeling OK?
Yeah, I say. Sorry, it was nothing. My mind was just
drifting back to work, you know?
Yeah, says Dan. I bet that can be pretty stressful, having
your own business.
I nod. Anyway, I say. Does Coach let you have some fun
before your games?
I grab his crotch jokingly to show him what I mean, and Im
surprised (although I dont know why I should be) to find that
his cock is already quite hard, creating a sizable bulge in his
Coach says were not supposed to so much as mess around,
says Dan, imitating a very serious tone. But I know better.
His hand slides down my back and onto my ass. He squeezes
it and I giggle.
Lets head into my room, he says. Our room, I mean.
I like the sound of that, I say.
I follow Dan, who leads me by the hand into his bedroom.
He pulls me gently down onto his big bed, which is cushy, but
thats the last thing on my mind. Ive completely overtaken by
his body, his breath, his hard and warm muscles, that feel good
against me in the slight cold.
Its a little cold in here, I say, laughing, kissing him, our
hands all over each other.
Lets get under the covers, then, says Dan, pulling a thick
down comforter over the two of us.
Its warm under here, and his body is like a furnace,
generating a great amount of heat.
Dans hand goes up my shirt, massaging my breasts gently.
That feels really good, I say, relishing in the feeling of his
strong hand on my bare flesh. Somehow hes gotten my bra
undone quickly without me even noticing. Thats not always a
good sign, but in this case its a great one. He really knows what
hes doing.
Dans kissing me at the sensitive nape of my neck, on my ear
lobes. Hes whispering hot things into my ear, telling me he
wants to sink his thick cock deep inside me, telling me that hes
hard for me, that he cant wait until hes inside me.
He works his kissing down my body, removing my shirt
completely in the process, my bra falling away. Were almost
completely under the covers, the atmosphere is warm,
comfortable, intensely sexy. It feels like were in our own little
world, away from everyone else, just able to enjoy one anothers
bodies for all eternity.
Dan is kissing my breasts, his tongue lapping my nipples, and
his lips sucking on them.
I moan in anticipation of whats to come, and I moan with the
pleasure, the subtle pleasure that Im feeling with his lips all
over me. I love the way hes paying attention to every part of my
body as if each and every part of my skin is incredibly important,
as if my skin is the sensual organ that it really is.
Oh, Dan, I moan.
Dan growls a positive response, but doesnt say anything as
he goes farther and farther down. Hes at my belly button now.
His strong hands are gripped around my back, pulling me up and
towards him. The bulk of his body is over top of me, between my
legs, with his torso and his legs resting on the mattress mostly,
part of his big muscular weight on top of me.
Now Dan pulls my pants down in a swift motion. Just my
panties remain, covering my pussy, which is ready, as ready as
its ever been for Dans massive cock. I reach down and try to
feel for his cock, but I cant reach it. I know, though, that hes
rock hard, his pants barely containing his massive, throbbing
member. I can perfectly picture his cocks head when I close my
eyes, and the way that it felt when it was in my mouth.
Dans licking my hips, at the indent where my legs meet my
torso. He runs his rough tongue softly along my thighs, working
his way down and down, closer and closer.
He surprises me by going all the way down to my ankles,
cupping them in his hands and licking them, kissing them. Now
hes coming back up. This time hes not going to be stopped.
This time he means business, his fingers massaging my pussy
through my thin underwear. I wore my special stuff today, the
one pair that Id been saving for years for that special night that
I always wanted but never came. Theyre lacy and fancy and
theyre practically see-through, a fact that makes it all the more
obvious right now how excited I am. My breathing is ragged and
fast, my breasts rising and falling. I put one hand on my own
breast and squeeze myself. The other hand goes onto Dans
head, working its way through his thick hair, massaging his sexy
head, his scalp.
Im going to show you how good this can really feel, growls
Dan, and a moment later hes pulled my panties off, so quickly
that I wonder if hes ripped them, but I dont care. Thats the last
thing I care about right now.
Dans hands are on my thighs, pulling my legs apart, pressing
my knees into the soft mattress. Ive never felt so safe, so taken
care of, as right now, under the covers with Dan.
The covers are still over my head completely, the light
streaming in from the sides, through the seams.
Dan kisses my pussy, a delicate and soft kiss.
Slowly, very slowly, he begins to change his kiss into licking,
into the most pleasurable sensation that I can ever remember
feeling in recent years. Its almost as pleasurable as an orgasm
already, with the waves of pleasure riding through me. Im like
some surfer out in the wild ocean, the strong sun blasting down
onto me, warming my body in a way its never been warmed
before, striking all the way through to my bare soul.
Dans slowly involving his hands into the mix, exploring me,
inserting a finger slowly, ever so slowly into me. I gasp and moan
as it comes inside me.
He keeps licking me, his rough but soft tongue changing
constantly the way its working, long, powerful strokes and
shorter, faster ones, delicate and then powerful, all the while
through the changing tempo working up into an absolute frenzy.
His tongue is hitting my clit quickly now, and two fingers are
inside me, penetrating my delicate body, pumping in and out.
Theyre pleasurable, but theyre just making me hungry for his
thick cock. I need him inside me. I crave him, and I crave his
cock. I need to be filled up with him, that sensation thats
indescribable, in which my body feels complete and whole, in
complete accordance with the pleasure that we all need to feel.
The orgasm comes on me suddenly, a huge flush of pleasure. I
gasp as it surges through me unexpectedly. I can feel Dan
reacting, responding to my bodys new desires. He only increases
his speed, increases the intensity. I love the feeling of his face
right between my legs, buried and working away. Its so
intimate, so close, so personal and so hot.
I scream out, not too loud, since Im trying to restrain myself.
Im moaning involuntarily.
I close my eyes and open them, and I can barely tell the
difference. My vision is changed during the orgasm, during the
rush of it all, a fuzziness and warmness replacing my field of
vision. My breathing is quick and intense.
Only after its over do I realize that my legs have been
involuntarily gripping Dans head, so as to keep him between my
legs, not that he would want to move anyway.
That was so hot, whispers Dan deeply in my ear, coming up
over top of me, his thick, powerful chest resting against my
That was I say, and then start giggling. It was so hot.
But the giggles fade away quickly into complete lust.
I need you, growls Dan, his voice deep and powerful.
I need your cock inside me, Dan, I whisper.
Dans cock is hard and ready. His pants come off, thrown onto
the floor in a frenzy.
I need you right now, Dan, I moan. I cant wait any
His fingers move aside and the thick head of his cock presses
against me in my most delicate area, right up against my outer
I need you! I cry out, and Dan finally obeys, done with
teasing me.
The head of his immensely thick cock slides into me easily.
Soon, the rest of it follows, ever so slowly.
I cry out as I take the entire length into me. Its never felt this
good before.
The covers fly off onto the floor as Dan flicks it off with a
single throw from his arm, a single powerful movement. It was
becoming uncomfortably hot, and now were going to fuck in the
open air of the bedroom, slightly cool, but were generating
enough heat.
Dans moving into me slowly, in and out, his strong hips
rocking against me gently.
His hands are on my breasts, now cupping my face. He looks
me directly in the eyes.
Faster! I cry out, desperate for the entire experience.
Dan obeys, and increases the speed that hes thrusting into
me with.
The pleasure is intense. It feels like an intense ache and
desire thats finally once and for all being fulfilled. Nothing has
ever felt better than this, and its hard to imagine that anything
else ever could, not in a thousand years.
But I suddenly realize I want to be with Dan. And this isnt
like before, but I realize that I really, really want to be with him
for a long, long time, forever perhaps.
Hes staring deep into my eyes and Im staring back, biting
my lip, trying to keep relatively silent, but the moans escape
from me no matter what I try to do.
Dans grunting softly in pleasure, deep masculine grunts as
his cock fills me over and over.
On your back, growls Dan, and he helps me onto my
stomach, since he knows I like it like this.
His cock is pressed against my ass, which suddenly feels sexy
for the first time in a while. Sometimes it takes the strong desire
of a real man to make you feel sexy again, and thats exactly
what hes doing to me.
I see him staring at the side of my breast thats pushed into
the mattress, which feels pleasurable and comfortable to me, the
soft padding enveloping my body the way only a foam pad can.
But what really feels good is when Dan presses down his torso
onto my back, and again I feel that my back is sexy and slim,
curved in just the right way. Dans running his fingers down my
back, tracing my spine.
A moment later, his cock is against me, and now its entering
me, filling my pussy deliciously.
Oh my God! I cry out as his cock his a completely new spot.
Before Dan, I never suspected I could have vaginal-only
orgasms, without any extra stimulation, but trust me, once you
feel the real thing, the real deal, with a real connection with the
guy, theres no going back, and theres no more doubting. I feel
it and I know it. Theres nothing else to compare it to.
Hes pounding into me fast now, letting his body rest on me.
Hes holding onto me with his hands, pulling my body down
onto his cock as he slams into me. His body makes a sound as it
hits my ass, my legs.
Oh Dan! I cry out, oblivious to how loud I am. (Its a good
thing the walls are very sound proof, and no sound can escape.)
Youre so fucking sexy, Chloe, growls Dan.
Im getting close to coming now.
It floods me unexpectedly, just like the last time, hitting me
suddenly as if something inside me suddenly pops, the orgasm
breaking forth from its shell where it was lying dormant, hidden
Just after it breaks, Dan increases his pace.
Oh my God! I cry out, my hands wrapping around Dans
strong huge back, clutching him as if for dear life, as he slams
into me. I need him inside me, constantly, quickly, thrusting
into me with all his power.
Im not going to let you get away with just two, growls Dan,
his cock still raging hard, as he pulls me up and guides me gently
to the edge of the bed.
He pulls my legs down to the floor so that my feet are resting
on the ground, with my body lying on the bed. Im face down, my
ass facing up right on the corner of the bed.
Dan stands behind me, sliding his cock into me greedily,
grunting as he fills me again.
He doesnt waste any time this time. Hes got his hands on
the sides of my back, gripping me tightly, his cock piercing me in
a complete fury.
I cry out and Dan grunts and we fall into the most intense
fucking Ive ever experienced, Dan moving in a blur of speed and
power behind me. My face is down into the bed, and I turn it now
so that I look back and see Dan behind me, out of the corner of
my eyes. Hes standing, his muscles tensed, the look of compete
desire and concentration on his face, in his eyes, down to his
Theres no breaking his concentration. He thrusts into me
with such power that it hurts a little, but thats it, the orgasm
breaking again, easily this time.
Its even more pleasurable than the last one, if thats even
Dont stop! I cry out, even though Dans not showing any
signs of stopping. I guess Im just becoming frantic at the idea
that he might suddenly stop.
Dans breathing heavily. I can tell that hes close to coming,
but I know that he can hold off for me. Thats the type of man he
is. Hes a real man. He can do it. Hes strong enough, with an
iron clad will that can surpass all other obstacles, even though
his body is already steel-tough strong, his muscles like iron
bands, thick and hard and with an incredible tensile strength.
Dan slams into me repeatedly as the orgasm overtakes me
completely. Im crying out and screaming and moaning and I
lose track momentarily of where I am. The only thing I know is
that Dans thrusting hard into me. The only thing I know is his
body and his thick cock.
Finally, the brunt of the orgasm is over. I want more. I want to
keep his cock inside me forever. But this one was so deeply
satisfying that Im OK for now.
Its time for Dan to come. He grunts as he removes his cock
from me. I instantly miss it, but Im also satisfied already.
I sit up on the bed, kneeling before Dan, my knees sinking
into the mattress. Dan stands in front of me, his hand on his
cock, moving it back and forth furiously.
I take his cock in my two small hands, and use both of them
to milk his cock, pulling the come from it. Dan grunts as he
comes, his cock spurting its thick load in ropes and ropes that
shoot out at me, landing on my breasts.
Dan strokes my hair gently as his breathing slowly starts to
slow down.
Wow, he says.
Wow is right, I say.
Dan helps me clean off with a tissue, and the two of us crawl
into bed, completely naked.
I curl up in the crook of Dans arm, placing my hand on his
strong chest. His skin feels warm and wonderful. As we start to
cool off, Dan pulls the thick blanket off from the floor where he
tossed it, and places it gently over the two of us. Ive never felt
so calm or at peace. Dans arm is around me and its thick and
strong, powerful and muscular, and Im safe.

W ell, I didnt exactly follow Coachs recommendation to

avoid sex, or to go easy. Not in the least bit. Chloe nearly took
everything I had, but despite all that, Im feeling unusually clear
headed and limber in the morning.
I head over to the stadium bright and early, letting Chloe and
her daughter Scout sleep in. I dont want to wake them up so
early, so I grab coffee and a couple breakfast sandwiches on the
way to the stadium, rather than cooking. Unlike other athletes,
Im not too picky about my food, and I dont have any kind of
special dietary requirements or weird rituals that I follow in
terms of food or anything else. Im just not that kind of person.
Im more practical. I figure I just need calories and protein and
carbs before a game in order to perform well. Coffee helps too,
but I dont overdo it. Dont want to be jittery with a ball in your
hands sprinting through defensemen.
The city skyline looks strangely gorgeous in the morning sun.
I normally dont think it looks like much, but I feel like Chloe
and Scout have given it a new perspective for me in a way, in that
Im able to somewhat see it through their eyes.
I arrive again before everyone. Only Coach is here.
Step into my office, he says, gruffly.
Whats up, Coach? I say, sitting down heavily into the
rickety chair in front of his dusty desk, full of old battered
trophies that for some reason look like theyve fallen off a truck,
or been run through the dryer. Hes a weird guy, Coach, and a bit
of a slob, the kind of person who has a way of half-destroying
everything he touches, everything in his possession.
This is the big one, says Coach, following his words with a
pregnant pause that seems to go on for eternity.
Yup, I say, nodding my head. I dont know where hes going
with this. So far, it just sounds like some generic movie stuff. I
mean, come on, football is important to me, but really its a
business, above all else. And Coach knows this.
This is a real important one for us, says Coach.
I nod my head, not bothering to say anything this time. How
can I respond to all these clichs?
Look, Coach, I say. With all due respect, I dont have any
idea what youre talking about.
Thats some straight talk right there, says Coach.
I nod my head.
Its just that Im under a lot of pressure from the sponsors to
win todays game. And I know youve been working on your
footwork and everything, I just wanted to say that Im really
pleased with the effort youve been putting in, even if you did
take those days off.
That sentence could have gone, take those days off to care
for your sick and elderly mother, but this is probably the first
compliment Ive ever gotten from Coach, so Im just going to let
it exist as it is.
Thanks, Coach, I say. Are we done here?
Coach nods stiffly. Even in his compliment, he was gruff and
displeased, his eyebrows perpetually thick and pointed together,
painting his face into a frown.
Conversations between me and Coach never go like they do in
the movies, where the coach is either a tough guy but caring
underneath. No, its nothing like that. Hes really just an asshole
whos taken years to recognize the hard work and effort were
all, including me, putting into the team.
I shake my head as I walk from the room. I didnt even need
to work on my footwork, and Coach should know that. But, hell,
he might just make us win, though, with all the work hes been
putting us through. And hes a real master of strategy, coming
up with plays that no one else can, always able to surprise the
other team, no matter what, no matter who were playing.
I head into the locker room where Im the only one there.
I strip off my clothes, and stand here naked, looking down at
my muscles. Being naked makes me think of Chloe, who might
still be asleep right now, or she might just be waking up,
thinking about the night we spent together last night.
She was so hot, so inspiring, so naked and so raw. Theres
nothing thats ever compared to her, and that experience last
night. I could spend the rest of my life with her naked in bed, my
cock buried inside her.
I look down and see my cock growing. I feel the warmth
spreading up from my groin into my body as my breathing grows
hotter and heavier. The images of her naked breasts flash before
my eyes. The feeling of her pussy gripped around my cock, her
tight warm tunnel I can almost still feel it wrapped around my
cock. My cock is rock hard now, the head massive, the sides full
of veins, hard as a rock and hot to the touch.
My fingers wrap around it almost instinctually. I wonder if I
shouldnt have woken Chloe up this morning and given her a
morning fuck. That would have given me some good luck for the
I know this erection isnt going to go away, not with last
nights performance from Chloe. Not that it was a performance.
It wasnt like she was acting at all. That was the real thing, raw
and passionate, unbridled and sexy as hell.
Theres no one here, and no ones going to be coming into the
locker room for a while, so I just stand here in front of my locker,
slowly moving my fist around my cock.
I straighten my legs, tightening my muscles. My abs contract
as I concentrate on what she looked like last night. I imagine
that shes straddling me as I stand up here, her tight tunnel
gripping down on my cock, her hands holding each other around
my broad back. I imagine that shes moaning and screaming
here in the locker room, and I imagine the way she would feel,
her flesh naked. For some reason, I imagine that shes still
wearing her bra, a sports bra to be exact, since Ive always found
those really hot on women, the way they make their breasts
look, and the sleekness of the material, the tautness. I imagine
that material, with her breasts inside them, soft and plush,
pressing against my chest.
My fist is moving fast now, almost in a blur, as I close my eyes
and I star to come, thick ropes of come shooting out of my cock,
flying all the way over to my locker, where it sticks.
I breathe out a big sigh of relief. But I know I wont really be
satisfied until Im deep inside her again, inside my precious
Chloe. Theres something incredibly special about her, incredibly
sexy and almost impossibly hot. She can make me think
thoughts and feel ways that no other woman ever could, not in a
thousand years.
I grab some toilet paper and wipe down the locker. Now I head
into the shower, where I spend at least twenty minutes with the
hot water hitting my back, just thinking about well, about
Chloe. I dont have my head in the game, as they say. Not in
the least bit. I normally like to think in a meditative way about
the upcoming game, the way an ancient warrior would meditate
before a battle. After all, football is the modern battlefield, and
were almost like warriors, in a way. Thats how some people
look at us. Me, Im a little more practical. Its just a job, really,
albeit an interesting and athletic one, one that happens to
require a lot of strategy and intelligence, as well as good physical
Finally, I get out and towel off. And, finally, the rest of the
team shows up.
Finally you guys are here, I say, not bothering to cover up
my naked body as I towel off. Thats typical of the football locker
room. A lot of nudity, and we all make jokes about each others
cocks and how big or small they are.
There he is, the running back with the monster cock, says
someone, and everyone laughs.
Its what keeps us winning, I say. The lucky cock.
Theyre just scared of what youre going to do to their
I dont do that anymore, I say. Not that I fucked anyones
girlfriend, at least not that I know of Anyway, Ive got Chloe
now. I dont need anyone else. I just have to tell Chloe how I feel
about her There does seem to be a bit of hesitation deep inside
her, and I wonder again what thats about, but the thought
quickly fades away. After all, now that the football team is here,
with everyone stripping down, joking, and shouting, and
generally getting pumped up for the game, its easy to let
football start to overtake my thoughts again. And I want it to,
since I need to try to get my head in the game as much as
possible, considering how much Ive been thinking about Chloe.
I hope the game goes OK without my concentration at its peak
No more? says someone.
Ill believe it when I see it.
Ive got someone new, I say. Someone special.
I heard shes already got a kid.
Damn, man, you move fast, Dan. You already got her
Its not mine, I say, pulling on my jock strap and doing my
best to tuck my soft but big cock into place.
I thought you said shes a girl from your past? You hooked
up with her before right?
Damn, so this is your kid from before?
What? I say. No
But doesnt the timing add up?
Im lost in my own thoughts for the hours leading up to the
game. Could Scout be my daughter? The thought, the seed
coming from a casual comment, a joke really, wont leave me,
and it hits me like a concrete mixing truck smashing a squirrel
on the highway.
Before I know it, the game is about to start. Im lining up on
the field, and were all in position, wearing our gear, the sun
breaking through the clouds right in time for the start of the
game. Ive been lost in my own thoughts, thinking about Chloe
and her daughter Scout, and the strangeness of the timing
I hope I can concentrate on the game enough to make it
I stare at the stands somewhat absent mindedly, as if Ill be
able to pick out Chloe and Scout from the crowd, but obviously
there are so many people theres just no way. Even with good
seats, youll never see anyone. Especially with the lights, the
camera in the way, and everyone yelling at you.
The crowds always blend into a dull roar, becoming nothing
more than background to the game at hand. But this time I know
that Chloe and Scout are out there, two very special people to
The game seems to go by in a blur.
Get your head in the game, asshole, more than one
teammate yells at me.
Shit, I say, muttering under my breath.
The ball is snapped.
The crowd is roaring. But this time I can hear them. This isnt
good. Theyre supposed to be fading into the background. Im
not supposed to be aware of them at all.
This isnt supposed to be happening.
I cant remember what play were in.
But all I can think about is Chloe and Scout. Is she my
Is she my daughter?
Is she my daughter?
The question pierces my skull and distracts me, rips my
concentration away from football.
The quarterback hands me the ball, a clean hand off, but Im
barely paying attention. I almost fumble the ball.
I cant even remember what down were at, or what play
were supposed to be doing, and of course I have no idea
whatsoever about what the score is. This isnt like me. Normally
my heads completely in the game and Im strategizing and
plotting routes of escape.
But this time I almost drop the ball.
Its only my pro reflexes that let me hang onto the ball. It
bounces messily between my hands like Im a fool trying to
handle a hot potato.
If I could hear the crowd now, Im sure theyd be laughing if
they were rooting for the other team.
Theres no way to go about this cleanly. I dont have any idea
whos around me, or what the other team expects us to be doing,
the way I should.
Someone rushes at me from the left, about to tackle me,
about to bash me into the ground, sending the football flying.
Its too late to escape.
He makes contact, but I somehow resist, by sheer force of
will, and by sending my body towards him. Instead of falling
down myself, he gets knocked down, tripping. Surprisingly, it
might be my footwork that saves me. Damn it, Im never going
to hear the end of this from Coach, but my footwork keeps me as
stable as a rock.
I scan the field quickly. The entire defensive line of the other
team seems to be rushing at me. Its like being in a battle in
ancient Greece, and Im just one mad man against an entire
squadron thats rushing at me. Only a fool and a madman would
try to fight them, try to rush right into them, to score a
touchdown. But thats me. Thats my job. I may get a concussion
rushing into this army, but thats what Im going to do.
Another one is to my left. I rush over to my right, right
towards the white line, and I spring along it in a straight line for
a few meters, before someones rushing up behind me. Someone
really, really fast. Even faster than me. These guys are big, and
theyre fast too. Theyre like human flesh tanks of solid muscle,
built from hours eating cheeseburgers and hours in the gym.
My legs are pounding. I cant hear anything but my own
breathing. My helmet feels like its part of me, and my pads too.
My cleats feel like extensions of my body.
Somehow the thoughts of Chloe and Scout are gone And Im
aware of it.
Im entering that coveted zone that athletes describe,
where everything seems to slow down. Time is slower, people are
moving in slow motion. I can make decisions faster, as if I dont
need to think about them. My body simply responds. My body
responds on its own, working away, my muscles all perfectly
coordinated, all functioning to the absolute peak of their
But, still, I know I cant outrun him.
I cant outrun my troubles.
I pivot, stopping completely, jamming my feet into the turf. I
spin as he rushes at me. His huge body glances off me, but I use
his momentum to spin myself, propelling myself in the opposite
Im off, springing away, thrusting against the thrust with all
my force, all my power.
I can see the line. I can see where Im going to throw the ball
down to the ground in triumph, another touchdown scored.
But theres another opponent rushing up from behind me,
past this fallen comrade, coming at me from the left. Im back
over on the white line, almost out of bounds, a dangerous game,
the ball tucked in my arm, using the classic grip.
Im going to outrun him. Hes too big, and I cant withstand a
tackle from him, not after all Ive been through. All Ive got to do
is run. Run, like Ive never run before. My cleats are banging the
turf. I can hear them, and my own breathing.
An image of Chloes naked, delicious tits rushes into my field
of vision. Am I going delirious with physical exertion? Whatever,
I cant deal with that now. I just run, run and run.
Suddenly, its all over.
Im across the line.
I throw the ball down, and just stand here, my hands resting
on my knees, partially bent over. Ive never been one for
touchdown celebrations, or dances, nothing like that. Call me old
fashioned, or whatever you want.
The sound of the crowd suddenly comes roaring back.
Everyones cheering. I look up at the scoreboard and its
The game is over.
Ive won the game, the last touchdown. The clock is down,
ground down to 00:00, and I didnt even realize it.
Up in the crowd, I suddenly see Chloe looking down at me,
looking sexy as hell, her hair framing her beaming face.
Scout is next to her.
Is she my daughter?

W asnt that great, Scout? I say. The way Dan won the
Yeah! says Scout, her eyes wide. He ran past all those
Theres something I need to tell you, I say. Im not sure
how to say it, so I just decide to blurt it out. Its a strange feeling,
not knowing how to approach a subject with my own daughter.
What is it? says Scout, a hot dog in her hand and a soda
between her knees. Shes excited about the game, excited about
being around all these people. Theyre the types of people that
shes never met before, strange Philly characters in her eyes.
Dan is your dad, I say, just spilling the beans once and for
all. Whatever her reaction, at least Ive said it. I cant carry this
guilt around any longer. One down, two to go. What a horrible
thought, but its true. The two people I care most about in the
world. All I have left to do is tell Dan. Right after the game. Right
after the game, I promise myself.
The moment seems frozen. Time seems to be moving slowly. I
dont know how my own daughter will react.
Really? she says, still smiling.
I nod my head. Im sorry I didnt tell you earlier, I say.
Wow! Hes my dad!
Shes so excited that she doesnt even ask me why or how this
happened. Shes just peppering me with questions about when
she can see him, and what he thinks about it.
He doesnt know yet, I say.
Are you going to tell him? When are you going to tell him?
Her eyes are shining with excitement.
Right now, I say. Right after the game.
Hes probably busy with the reporters who want to ask him a
thousand dumb questions about how the game went and why he
played the way he did.
I take Scout by the hand and we fight our way through the
crowds. Dans surrounded by his teammates, his coach. I wave at
him and he blows me a kiss, and he waves at Scout.
Hi Dad, yells Scout.
That really makes his eye pop. He gives us a very, very
surprised look, like he doesnt know what the hells going on, or
hes just seen a ghost.
Shit, this isnt exactly the way I wanted it to go down.
But it seems like hes not completely sure what happened,
since theres a ton of noise. Or maybe he thinks that Scout just
yelled something to be funny, the way little kids sometimes do.
Dan starts pushing his way through his teammates, through
the reporters, coming to see us.
His helmet is off, held in the crook of his arm. Sweat is
pouring down his face, and he wipes it away.
Hey there, he says, smiling down at Scout. Did you like
the game?
Yes! says Scout, practically bouncing out of her skin with
excitement. At least for now shes refraining from calling him
dad again.
You too? he says, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
You were great, I say. Dan, theres something I need to
tell you. Im really not good with this, so Im just going to blurt it
out. Here it goes I pause, a big heavy pregnant pause. Scout
is your daughter.
I suddenly realize I shouldnt have done this with Scout
present. This could create an awkward situation, to say the least.
His face is expressionless.
Thats nice to know, he finally says, but he doesnt look at
me. What do you think about that, Scout, being my daughter?
Youre my dad! says Scout, smiling up at him.
Come here, Scout, says Dan. I wish Id known.
He takes her in his arms and picks her up, and gives her a big
hug. A pained look of fatherly love is on his face.
But he still doesnt look at me.
I have to go, he says, suddenly turning away. I love you,
Scout, he says.
I love you too, Dan, I mean Dad, says Scout.
He doesnt say anything to me, and he turns away and slips
into the crowd, disappearing.
What just happened? He didnt seem too pleased with me,
but He seemed to like the idea of being a dad. It was almost,
though, as if he already knew, as if he was just waiting to hear it
from me. Thats strange, and not what I was expecting.
Come on, Scout, I say. Its time to go.
But wheres Dan going? she says, sounding worried.
Hes got more football stuff to do, I say. Hes an
important player on the team. And hes got to do a lot of
interviews and talk to the coach and everything.
But I know its not true. I know he could be spending time
with us if he wanted to.
Then again, it is a pretty big news hit I just gave him. Maybe
he just needs time to recover. Maybe he just needs time to think.
I take Scout by the hand and lead her through the crowd.
Theres no site of Dan, not at all. His huge body with his football
gear and pads is gone, lost into the crowd. Ill just have to give
him time

I stand in the shower, with the rest of the team long gone. I
was the first one here in the morning, and Im the last one
to leave.
So I was right. Those suspicions that had haunted me, that
had just appeared, like specters, like ghosts I was right all
alone. Scout is my daughter, the result of that one night tryst
that Chloe and I spent together six years ago.
I dont know how I didnt realize it before. I dont know how I
didnt see it. Its so painfully obvious now. Scout even looks like
me, well, and Chloe too. She has my eyes and my hair, and her
face is quite similar to mine, in its own way.
So was this the reason that Chloe didnt want to contact me?
What, she didnt think Id be a good father? She thought I was
too irresponsible, or that she didnt want to be stuck with a
football player for a husband or boyfriend?
What was so wrong with me? What did I do to deserve this?
Moreover, what kind of woman hides the pregnancy from the
man, from the father? Sure, she can do what she wants. Im glad
she had Scout, but shouldnt she have told me?
If I only had known
If I had only known, I could have been there for Scout. I could
have been there to help. Chloe must have known that I would
have changed my whole life in order to help her, in order to help
raise Scout. Even if Chloe didnt want to be with me, I could have
been there for Scout, and for Chloe, as a dad, as a solid rock, as a
figure just to help with the simple things.
I would have loved to be there for Scout. A pang in my heart
tells me I missed a lot. I missed her birth, and all those years
when she was growing up.
But shes still growing up, I remind myself. Shes still a child.
She stills needs me. And I can be there for her.
I promise myself right now, sitting in the locker room, fully
dressed now in my regular street clothes, just some causal jeans
and a sweatshirt, with my jacket around me I promise myself
that whatever happens between Chloe and me, Im going to be
there for Scout. I want to be a real dad, a positive force in her life.
I just dont understand why Chloe didnt want me to be a dad.
Apparently now that weve been hooking up romantically, the
guilt is too much for her, and she wanted to tell me, just go get it
off her chest.
But I wasnt good enough for her as a dad before, why would I
be now?
I dont know whether she wants to be with me, and I dont
know can I be with her after what she did to me? I dont know
how I can deal with this pain.
Sure, its good to know now, but the years missed with Scout,
and possibly Chloe it feels like someone has torn a hole in my
soul, like someone ripped out my organs and threw them into
the dumpster where they were trampled on savagely by who only
I feel numb now, the pain so strong that I cant even feel it
any more. I dont understand I dont understand how she
could do this to me.
If she wants to be with me, will I even be able to recover from
this blow, will I even be able to respond to her desires, her
The whole world feels like its ended for me. I feel like Im at
the very end of my rope. Everything around me looks dull and
grey, and my body feels heavy and tired, impossibly exhausted,
pushed past my last reserves.
The football game from an hour ago is just a distant memory.
We won, and I scored the winning touchdown, but if I was in a
haze then, confused, Im beyond confusion now. Everything
seems dull and terrible, intense, heavy, depressing, and
overwhelming past all hope.
I dont know where to go. I dont know what to do. I dont
know if Chloe and Scout are going to be back at the house.
I dont know what Chloes going to say to me. I know shes
going to offer up an explanation, but I just dont know whether
shes going to say she wants to continue the relationship with
me, whether she wants to raise Scout with me, with me as the
father and her as the mother.
What I do know is that I dont want to confront her right now.
Thats why I split. Thats why I couldnt face her. It would
simply be too much of a blow for me right now if she didnt want
The phone rings. Of course its Chloe.
I stare at the phone for five rings, which seem to last for
hours and hours. My mind is racing with each ring.
Should I pick it up?
My thoughts are a nightmarish combination of all sorts of
terrible possibilities, awful repercussions should I pick up the
But Im going to have to talk to her sooner or later. I have to.
Theres no way around it. Especially not if Im going to be
Scouts dad. Even if Chloe doesnt want to be with me, Ill have
to coordinate visitation with her and things like that.
I might as well pick up the phone, but my hand and arm feel
heavy like theyve never felt before. My body is tired, exhausted
from the emotional strain.
I finally swipe right, answering the phone.
I dont speak, though.
Dan, Dan, are you there? Its Chloes voice, sounding sweet
and innocent, but she might as well be a thousand miles away
from me right now.
I dont speak for what feels like a full minute, but I dont
know how much time is passing.
Hi, I finally say.
Dan, listen, Im so sorry. I didnt want to tell you like that.
But I just had to. I just had to blurt it out. I didnt know how to
tell you. I just want you to know that I really care about you and I
want Well, I want to be in a relationship with you if youll only
have me. If you can only forgive me for what I did.
Are you back at the house already? I say. I want to see
No, Scout and I are still here at the stadium.
Where are you? I say.
She tells me shes right outside, and I run out of the locker
room in my street clothes, leaving my locker open and unlocked,
with my duffel bag lying out.
I rush through the crowd of people but I dont see her
anywhere. I turn around frantically, trying to find her, trying to
spot her and Scout.

I spot his muscular body moving through the crowd, his head
turning around frantically, trying to spot me.
Dan! I cry out, waving my hands.
Theres Dan! shouts Scout, waving her own hands, even
though shes must too short for her hand to be seen above the
Dan spots us and he rushes over to us, rushing through the
crowd, which parts for his huge body. People are staring at him,
and people are clapping and shouting, because he just won the
game for them. But I dont care about the game, or whether or
not Dan won. I just care about Dan.
Dan! I say, breathless as he rushes up to me. Im so sorry,
but I love you.
The words tumble out of my mouth without effort, as if
theyre coming out on their own. Its taken me so long to say
what Ive known for so long, and it feels good to have them off
my chest. I just hope he feels the same way. I just hope he can
forgive me for what Ive done. My heart starts pounding as I
stare at him, waiting for an answer.
I love you too, Chloe, he says. And I forgive you. I know
you had your reasons.
Oh, Dan, I say, and I fall into his big arms.
He kisses me passionately, and the crowd around us cheers.
Gross, says Scout, from behind us.
We break apart in our embrace and start laughing.
Dan picks up Scout and holds her in his arms easily, with her
feet pointed towards the ground.
Im so glad youre my daughter, says Dan. Were going to
have a lot of fun together as a family.
I dont even have any words to describe how happy this
makes me. This is what Ive wanted all along. I dont know why it
took me so long to realize what I wanted, but at least Ive finally
got it. At least our family is finally together. For the first time in
a long, long time, I dont feel alone. Its not just me and Scout
anymore. Were all reunited once and for all, the happy family
that Ive always known I should have, and that Scout should
grown up in.


I t took us a couple months to arrange everything, but at this

point weve got it all sorted out. Scout and I have moved
into the city, into Dans semi-unused house in what he calls the
suburbs. But to me it still has that city-like feel. Were close
enough to the city to go into get a bite to eat, or to catch a move
or a show.
Oh, we moved in with Dan, of course. Not just into his house.
In case anyone was confusedalthough that seems somewhat
unlikely, especially if youve been following my story all along.
The school district is great, actually quite a bit better for
Scout. She misses some of her friends, but shes quickly making
new ones that I have the feeling will be her friends for a lifetime.
I sold the business. After all, it wasnt doing too well, and it
was going to fold anyway. I suppose the end of some happy
stories might be that the business just exploded in popularity,
now that Im with Dan. But this is real life. But I dont really
mind in the least bit. The whole business was more of a stressor
than anything else. And, anyway Dan and Scout are the two most
important things in my life. The money can come and it can go,
and when you have it youre not even thinking about it. Thats
just the way it issomething that took me a long time to learn.
And what was that? Well, dont stress about money, unless you
have to, and then it can be a pretty damn stressful situation.
But its not over for me with physical therapy. Im going to
open a new practice. Dan is going to give me a loan, since he has
plenty of money, and its not really anything to him financially
to loan me some. Ive analyzed the market, done my market
research so to speak, and found that here in the city people are
much more willing to pay for slightly more experimental
therapies, so to speak. Basically, theres a huge market here for
swimming physical therapy, which is great.
Everything couldnt be going better. Dan and I are incredibly
happy together, and he seems to love his new role as dad, more
than I could have imagined. And Scout, well, Ive never seen her
happier, now that she has two parents who care so much about
Each day I wake up, roll over, and see Dans sexy muscular
body lying next to me in bed. I almost couldnt believe it the first
time it happened, once Scout and I moved in. Now that the
football season is over, Dan has a lot more free time, and since
Im not working yet, we have plenty of time for sex, when Scout
is off at school. When she gets home, Dan usually cooks dinner,
and it turns out hes a fabulous cook. Weve been making plans
for the summer, which vacation spots wed like to go to, and all
the things we could do with Scout in the city once shes out of
school. But weve already done a lot in the city, and I think its
great for Scouts education.
This is one of those rare mornings where I wake up alone.
Scouts not at school yet, and shes probably still asleep. I
remember Dan say something last night about doing an errand
early this morning, but I dont remember what it was, or
whether he explained it.
This is weird. Theres something strange going on with my
stomach, a strange feeling that I havent felt in a long time. Its
very familiar, a sick, nauseous feeling, but I cant quite place it.
When was the last time I felt this way? I really cant remember.
Im not the type to get sick very often.
Uh-oh, the sick feeling is suddenly coming on strong.
I rush out of bed, just wearing my nightgown that I sleep in,
and rush into the bathroom attached to the bedroom.
Im headed right to the toilet, and I shove my face in it (not
something you want to do every morning, obviously) and the
vomit hurls itself out of me.
I keep retching for another minute, and then sit down on the
tiled floor, resting my head against the wall, completely
Suddenly, the thought hits me: the last time I felt like this
was over six years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with
Scout. Could I possibly be pregnant?
This time, I dont have to rush to the store. I happen to have a
couple pregnancy tests on hand, given to me be a friend at my
old job, for what reason I cant begin to fathom. But I hung onto
them, just in case, as you might say.
I get up onto the toilet, after wiping my mouth and brushing
my teeth (I mean, who can stand that taste, right?) and then I
pee onto the stick and wait the required minute and a half (these
devices seem to be improving technologically or something).
It turns pink!
Wait, what does that mean?
I check the instructions frantically.
Pink means pregnant!
Im going to have another child with Dan!
Chloe? comes Dans deep voice from the bedroom. Are
you in there?
Yeah, I say. Just a second.
Without thinking, my instinct is to hide everything, hide the
evidence, so I take the pregnancy test and stuff it into my
bathrobe pocket.
I glance in the mirror, and straighten my hair a little bit. I
know Dans seen me every which way, even in the morning, and
still finds me sexy as hell, but I guess it doesnt hurt to tidy up a
little. I rearrange the top of my robe so that some more cleave is
showing, and then I open the door and walk out, taking a deep
breath and trying to look calm, while my insides are bout to
burst with excitement.
Whats going on? I say, taking a look at Dan.
He looks sexy as hell, as always, really, but today hes dressed
up, wearing a button down blue shirt and dress slacks. His hair is
combed and gelled, and hes clean-shaven.
You look good, I say, looking him up and down. After all
this time together, I still find it difficult to take my eyes off him.
Dan doesnt say anything.
You OK? I say.
Dan just look sat me, hungrily, with desire but its not the
normal pre-sex look. No, its something more. But I can feel his
desire for me.
He surprises me completely by walking towards me, taking
my hand, and dropping to one knee.
I suddenly realize whats about to happen, or at least what I
think is about to happen.
I gasp and cover my hand with my mouth in complete
Chloe, says Dan, speaking gravely but with joy on his face,
looking me directly in the eyes. Will you do the me the honor of
marring me?
Im too shocked to speak for a moment, and then I regain my
Of course! I say, taking the ring from the box that Dan
opens up.
He helps me slide the ring on my finger and I start laughing,
laughing with pure joy.
Dans hugging me, and now were kissing. We break apart and
we both fall into joyous laughter.
Theres another little surprise, I say. This time from me. I
just cant wait to tell you
What is it?
Im pregnant! I say.
Youre pregnant! His face is lit up with joy.
Im pregnant! I say again.
We embrace again.
I love you so much, Chloe, says Dan.
I love you too, Dan, I say. So, so much.
I cant wait to tell Scout!


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