Noel Francis T.

Galinato

Lit13 E26

Missing Key

There are important aspects in life that shape a person as he grows. One of these

is having a normal social life. According to Al Emantski A good life is a human life. A

human life is a social life, the essence of human nature is to be in the company of others

(Ccsdisabilityaction.org.nz). Social life doesnt only bring us friends and company, but it

also leads us to love.

All human beings seek love. It is our primary motivation as humans

(Health.howstuffworks.com). We all want to have a stable relationship with another

person. We all want companionship.

Ms. Mijares is a woman whos still single, a virgin, and works as an employment

agent. Though her job offers her various opportunities to interact with different people,

she still hasnt found a relationship with another person. She may sometimes feel the

need for love. Like the time when she saw a male carpenters strong hands and she feels

the desire to grasp them. She seeks companionship and sex. But she ignores these urges

and desires for love. She is regard by the people she meets as someone who is strict, and

aloof. This is the result of certain circumstances that shaped her life.

Ms. Mijares never had enough time for herself. She had to take care of her sick

mother at the crucial stages of her life (the age where most women get married). She

never found time for social life and love. She was unable to fulfill her desires of love,

companionship, and sex. She became aloof, strict, and arrogant. She would always think
that speaking English to people would give her a better impression from others. Ms.

Mijares became an outlier in society because she lacked an important key in her life,

which is love.

Living a normal life means having a balance of the various aspects in life: social,

familial, etc. If one is having problems with family matters, he or she should fix it

immediately (kerry-anne.co.za, January 13, 2013). Family is an important aspect in life. It

shapes a person and it carries the first people humans interact to. It is where a person

learns the first steps needed for growth.

Miss Emily grew up with an iron fist from her dad. She wasnt allowed to interact

freely with the community. The society pictured Emily and her father as a tableau; Emily

wearing white in the background, her father clutching a horsewhip with his back to her,

and both being framed by the opened front door (Faulkner 59). She was deprived of a

normal life. The only person who she was close to was her father. And when he died,

Emily spiraled down to a series of misfortunes. She became an outlier.

Miss Emily was greatly judged by society. She belonged to the prominent

Grierson family. All eyes were on her and all talks were about her actions. By being a

member of a prominent family, it made her an outlier in society. She was among the top

ranks and therefore it was not part of her upbringing to mingle with anyone from the

lower ranks of society. These circumstances, made her very eccentric. It was strange for a

woman who belonged in the upper ranks to have a house that smelled awful (Faulkner

59). It wasnt normal for someone who grew up in the upper ranks of the southern states

of America to be mingling with workers, workers especially coming from the north

(Faulkner 60). The people thought Emily was crazy.

 One of the most important factors in life, especially in relationships, is to maintain

intimacy with the partner (intouch.org). Every time a couple finds a problem in marriage,

they always try to fix it. They think about what happened to their intimacy, their

connection with each other.

Intimacy is involved in both emotional and physical aspects of life

(psychologytoday.com). The first aspect, emotional intimacy pertains to the degree of

comfort, closeness, and mutual understanding with each other (selfgrowth.com). Certain

factors affecting emotional intimacy are a persons attitudes and personalities. The

second aspect, physical intimacy, pertains to sensual and sexual aspects of a relationship

(healthyplace.com).

The wife in the couple of the story Cat In The Rain by Ernest Hemingway felt that

her relationship with her husband lacked both aspects of intimacy. They lacked

communication and sex. This was evident when the wife was unable to express what she

felt to her husband. She had to use several metaphors, such as the cat in the rain and all

her materialistic desires in life, to convey to her husband the message that they both

lacked physical intimacy. Certain symbols in the story symbolized her desire for physical

intimacy with her husband. The man in the rubber coat, which she noticed, was

interpreted to be a symbol of a condom. In her struggle for conveying to her husband the

problem about physical intimacy, it was evident that they lacked emotional intimacy. Her

husband dismissed her pleas because he didnt understand her actions.

There are several factors in life that affect a persons growth and current state.

Social interaction and love are just two of them. It is necessary for a person to have a
balance of these aspects. If a person is purely social interaction and love, he or she might

neglect her professional responsibilities. And if a person lacks social interaction and love,

he or she cannot fulfill her professional responsibilities. These are keys in life that bring

happiness to a person. The three women discussed lacked social interaction and love.

These missing keys in life led them to become outliers in society.

Sources:

Family and Friends. CCS Disability Action: Including All People. Web. 13 Jan. 2013.
Aron, Professor Arthur. Why do we fall in love?. Health: How Stuff Works. Web. 13
Jan. 2013.
Kerry-Anne. The Important Stuff. Butterflies Instead: The Trees the Grass and Pretty
Things. Web. 13 Jan. 2013.
Yerkovich, Milan et al. Intimacy Imprint. InTouch Ministries. Web. 13 Jan. 2013.
Gordon, Lori H. Intimacy: The Art of Relationships. Psychology Today. Web. 13 Jan.
2013.
Definition: Emotion Intimacy. SelfGrowth.com Web. 13 Jan. 2013.
What is Physical Intimacy? Healthy Place: Americas Health Channel. Web. 13 Jan.
2013.
Lit 13 English Dept. Ateneo de Manila University. Manila: Ateneo de Manila University,
2012. Print.

http://www.ccsdisabilityaction.org.nz/aspects-of-life/family
http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/love/why-do-we-fall-in-love.htm
http://kerry-anne.co.za/2009/01/11/the-important-stuff/#more-46
http://www.intouch.org/magazine/content/topic/the_intimacy_imprint#.UPLe2IleszJ
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199309/intimacy-the-art-relationships
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Definition_Emotional_Intimacy.html
http://www.healthyplace.com/relationships/intimate-relationships/what-is-physical-
intimacy/