Volu m e 48B | Issu e 6 | Weds, 8/ 2/ 17
TI NA Occu pi es Wal l bal l Cou r t As a
Fou r Ran dom Qu est i on s
By Addison Kane
* If aliens ar e r eal, do you think that they question if
hum ans ar e r eal, or do you think they know w e ar e
r eal?
* W hy is it that w e have tw o eyes, and if you cover one
eye you can see pr etty nor m al, and if w e only had one
eye you w ould be able to see just fine because having
one eye w ould be nor m al?
* W hy isn't ?funner ? a w or d? I think that it should be a
w or d because a lot of people use the w or d ?funner ?
and if people use it then it should be a w or d
* W hy do w e have finger nails? I m ean, if w e didn't
have them , I w ould be fine. Also, w e w ouldn't know
w hat they w er e, so our finger s w ould look nor m al to
us.
I n t er v i ew w i t h Com pu t er M ou se
By Zach
Q: As a mouse do you like cheese?
A: Click scr oll (w oof w oof?)
Q: Do you have a friend named pinkie who is really
dumb?
A: Click (doy)
Q: W hat's your favorite song?
A: (Clicks in Futur am a them e)
Si gn of Reven ge
By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able)
On August 1, 2017, TINA occupied the
entir e Wall Ball Cour t for a ?pr oject?
they?r e doing. W hat I think this ?pr oject?
is is that TINA is upset about how
ever yone w ho w as at Festival Day w ent
to play w allball instead of paying r espect
to the sm ashed guitar. Now , as a sign of
vengeance, TINA decided to star t a
?pr oject? so big that they needed the
Wallball Cour t so that people cannot play
w allball anym or e. If I am w r ong I m ay as
w ell star t an advice colum n, because I
think I am 110% r ight.
A Pet i t i on f or t h e Ren ew al of t h e
CLOM P Cl ass
By Peter Tr avis
Do you r em em ber CLOM P?
Back in the day w hen Adam w as
w or king her e, he taught us how to
exper tly use dow els to m ake sounds on a
paint bucket. I loved the silent hum or
and the fun beats w e m ade together in
our gr and show.
Based off of the acclaim ed English
per for m ance gr oup STOM P (hence the
nam e), CLOM P is an adventur e for all
ages w her e cr eativity, m usic, and hum or
com e together in one show.
I haven?t for gotten the fun and
engaging tim es I had w ith the class, and
I w as sad to see it go.
Now , as I r each the age w her e I?m
(sadly) not a cam per anym or e, I w ant to
m ake one last piece of change befor e I
becom e a CIT.
I have cr eated a petition to br ing
back CLOM P, and anyone can sign it. It is
located on the stair s going up to the
lunch r oom . If you know CLOM P, or love
dr um m ing, com edy, cr eativity, and
m usic, please sign the petition to get it
up and r unning. I w ill deliver the
petition to an official by the end of the
session.
Thanks!
W h at Ki n d Of CRCAP Cl ass Ar e You ? M et a Jok es An d Ot h er Du m b
By Kylie St u f f
By Ethan M am enta
1. W hat do you do in your free time?
A. Wr ite Welcom e to Ethan is out of ideas
B. Som e kind of ar t pr oject #839. Well, at least it feels like it is.
C. Sing or play an instr um ent Anyw ays her e?s a list of my
D. Dance favor ite m eta jokes/not m eta jokes.
E. Play spor ts Basically just jokes.
F. Cook or bake
1) I?m So M eta Even This Acr onym
2. W hat is 1 of your personality traits?
A. Having a lot of ideas 2) A m an w alks into a bar and asks
B. Cr eative the bar tender for a dr ink, and the
C. M usical (I w onder if that is a per sonality tr ait) bar tender says that he w ill only
D. Excited give the m an a dr ink if he can tell
E. Active him a m eta joke so the m an says ?A
F. Likes to m ake food m an w alks into a bar and asks the
bar tender for a dr ink, and the
3. W hat do you want to be the first person to create? bar tender says that he w ill only
A. A novel give the m an a dr ink if he can tell
B. A new style of ar t him a m eta joke so the m an says ?A
C. A song m an w alks into a bar and asks the
D. A dance bar tender for a dr ink, and the
E. A new spor t bar tender says that he w ill only
F. A baked good give the m an a dr ink if he can tell
him a m eta joke so the m an says ?A
4. W hat pet do you want? (they are all random) m an w alks into a bar and asks the
A. Cat bar tender for a dr ink, and the
B. Rabbit bar tender says ?her e you go? so he
C. Tur tle gives the m an a dr ink? so he gives
D. Bir d the m an a dr ink? so he gives the
E. Dog m an a dr ink? so he gives the m an a
F. Fish dr ink .

If you got m ostly A?s you ar e w r iting classes! 3) A m an w alks into a bar. Ouch!
If you got m ostly B?s you ar e ar t classes!
If you got m ostly C?s you ar e m usic classes! 4) Ther e w as a young boy fr om
If you got m ostly D?s you ar e dance classes! per u
If you got m ostly E?s you ar e athletic classes! W hose lim er icks stopped at line
If you got m ostly F?s you ar e cooking classes! tw o
?
Th e St r an gen ess of t h e Dai l y Dou bl e Br i ef case Ther e w as an old m an fr om
By Tillie Slosser ver dun
?
A new developm ent in a non-existent stor y has been found.
Ther e is a str ange, old-looking, br iefcase in the Daily 5) Q: How m any singer s does it
Double r oom . It looks as though it could be fr om the 1940?s. take to scr ew in a lightbulb?
Since I?m too lazy to think of possibilities of things that A: One. They just hold the
could be inside it, I am asking that if you have an idea of lightbulb up and the w or ld
w hat could be inside it, then subm it your guess to Don?t Ask r evolves ar ound them .
Us. M ar k your subm ission w ith a star , so w e can tell the
differ ence betw een that and one of those entr ies that?s just Okay that?s enough jokes. M aybe
a noun (w e get those a lot). I w ill publish the best answ er s, next tim e I r un out of ideas (so
and if I like your s enough, m aybe I?ll do som ething cool. I pr obably tom or r ow ) I?ll do
don?t know. exclusively m usic jokes.
M y Fave Fi ves
By Cadence Rosenblum

Welcom e back to M y Fave Fives! Ever y couple of days I list my favor ite five things in r andom
categor ies. If you w ant to subm it a categor y you can w r ite it dow n and put it in a r ed pouch that says
?Cadence?s Fave Fives? in the Activity Center in the hallw ay by the bathr oom s. Last w eek, I shar ed my
favor ite r idiculous Star bucks dr inks. Today I w ill be shar ing my favor ite five m icr ow ave r ecipes,
because I?m sur e w e have all w anted food at som e point, but been too lazy to actually cook and use the
stove. I honestly love the per son w ho invented the m icr ow ave because they let the w or ld cook a
br ow nie in tw o m inutes. Her e ar e my fave r ecipes:

1. ?M eatloaf in a m ug?
Ok ok befor e you fr eak out because of the gr ossness, let m e just say that this is on the list because if you
ar e ser ving m eatloaf, the m icr ow ave is w ay m or e pr actical tool than the oven. Your m eatloaf w ill be
r eady in only fifteen m inutes as opposed to AN HOUR. Her e?s the r ecipe in case you?r e inter ested:
* Tear a slice of w hite br ead and put in in a bow l. Pour in tw o tablespoons of m ilk and .5 teaspoon
w or cester shir e sauce. Let sit, then add gr ound beef, gr een onion, salt, and pepper. M ix and put in a
m icr ow ave-safe cup.
* M icr ow ave for 4-5.5 m inutes or until m eat is fir m . Thank you, M icr ow ave.

2. ?M icr ow ave baked potato?

W hy w ait an HOUR AND A HALF for a potato to bake in the oven w hen you can put it in a m icr ow ave?
All you have to do is poke som e holes in the potato w ith a for k, put in in the m icr ow ave for five
m inutes on each side, and then cut it open and add any toppings you w ish. Easier r ight? Thank you,
m icr ow ave.

3. ?Chocolate m ug cake?
This is a classic that I m ake for myself all the tim e. It is super easy and you can use ingr edients that you
pr obably have in your kitchen:
* M ix .25 cup flour , .25 cup sugar , 2 tablespoons cocoa pow der , a pinch of baking soda, and a pinch of
salt in a m icr ow ave safe m ug. Stir in 3 tablespoons of m ilk, 2 tablespoons of canola oil, 1 tablespoon
w ater , and .25 teaspoons vanilla extr act.
* M icr ow ave for about one m inute and 45 seconds.
Thank you, m icr ow ave.

4. ?M icr ow ave m ochi?

In case you ar e feeling like eating m ochi (a japanese desser t) pop it in the m icr ow ave using a 15 m inute
r ecipe, opposed to another one that takes 3 HOURS AND 35 M INUTES. The r ecipe is a bit m or e
com plicated than the ones above, but it is w or th it:
* M ix together 1.5 cups of glutinous r ice flour , 1 cup of sugar , and 1.5 cups of w ater. M ix in tw o dr ops of
w hite vinegar to soften. Put in a m icr ow ave safe dish and cover w ith plastic w r ap. M icr ow ave for 8-10
m inutes then let cool.
* In a sm all bow l com bine .5 cup potato star ch, .25 cup sugar , and a pinch of salt. Cut m icr ow aved
m ochi into pieces and r oll into the star ch m ixtur e. Thank you, m icr ow ave.

5. ?Pancakes in a Jar ?
W ho w ould have know n that all you have to do to m ake pancakes is put som e batter and fr uit in a
m ason jar and m icr ow ave it for 2 m inutes and 40 seconds? No m or e standing over a pan for hour s
w aiting for the batter to cook . Thank you, m icr ow ave.
Rem em ber to subm it categor ies!

Sour ces: Allr ecipes.com , Foodnetw or k .com /topics/m icr ow ave

Editor's Note: Thank you, microwave.

A Qu i z Pl ay-Doh Su ppor t i n g Recr eat i on Of
By An Evil Gir l (Ava) M K-Ul t r a?
OM G, Thank you for adm itting you?r e evil, Ava!? Chloe By M atan And Gabe

W hat would your friends call you? In 1953, the CIA launched
A: nice, kind M K-Ultr a, a pr ogr am designed to
B: insane, w eir d, cr azy, funny cr eate ?m ind contr ol? dr ugs that the
C: I have no fr iends CIA could use on Soviet spies and such,
D: HAPPY!!!! just like the Soviets and Nor th Kor eans
w er e attem pting on pr isoner s of w ar
W hat is your favorite color? fr om the Kor ean w ar. In this pr ogr am ,
A: pastel blue and pink CIA agents r ecr uited people fr om
B: RAINBOW !!!!! m ultiple univer sities, hospitals, and
C: is ?cr y blue? a color ? pr isons, and, after paying them a
D: YELLOW !!! couple hundr ed dollar s, per for m ed
exper im ents on them w ith dr ugs,
W hat your favorite show? m ostly LSD, coupled w ith intense
A: Teen Titans Go electr oshock ther apy w hich left som e
B: Youtude par ticipants dead, or w ith the m ental
C: People state of toddler s.
D: M Y LITTLE PONY!!! Recently, the CEO/Evil
M aster m ind behind Hasbr o, Br ian
DO YOU LIKE THE QUIZ????!!!! Goldner , ?discr eetly? im plied his
A: it cool (LIE) suppor t for r ecr eating M K-Ultr a w hile
B: it sw ag talking about his political view s on
C: good, I guess contr olling Nor th Kor eans?m inds.
D: IT STINK! YOU STINK! I AM COOL!!! ?I do think that, w ith the Nor th
Kor eans speeding tow ar ds a m issile
If you got A the m ost, you ar e a gir ly gir l. You ar e sw eet that could hit the m ainland US, a
and kind! I like you!! m ind-contr ol dr ug or technique w ould
If you got B the m ost, you ar e m e!!! You can be as be ver y useful in extr acting
aw esom e as you w ant and you can be as w eir d as you infor m ation fr om Nor th Kor ean
w ant!!!! pr isoner s. Even though som e w ould
If you got C the m ost, you ar e just sad? .ver y VERY sad. call it inhum ane, I stand w ith the logic
If you got D the m ost, STAY AWAY FROM M E PLS!!!!! that the end justifies the m eans.
How ever , to get this dr ug, it w ould
That?s the QUIZ! BBBBYYYYYYYEEEEE!!!!!! likely m ean a r ecr eation of pr oject
M K-Ultr a - w hich I w holehear tedly
suppor t.?, said Goldner in an inter view
w ith CNN?S Ander son Cooper.
Goldner pr oceeded to ask
Can ada: Does I t Ex i st ? (A Con spi r acy Th eor y) w hether CNN w ould r em ove that
By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able) segm ent fr om the inter view , to w hich
Ander son Cooper pr om ptly answ er ed
Canada is quite a lovely place to live: fr ee healthcar e, ?M r. Goldner , w e?r e live.?
gr eat education, m aple syr up, and kind people. Canada Goldner also is openly
seem s TOO per fect, alm ost as if it w er e m ade up to suppor tive of m ultiple conspir acy
m ake people feel better about them selves that ther e is a theor ies, including that the ear th is
place w her e m aple syr up flow s fr om the faucets. flat, that Obam a can contr ol the
Per sonally, I believe Canada is nothing m or e than a w eather , and that the Beatles never
utopia m ade up by the US Gover nm ent to send existed.
unw anted people to. I believe this is r ight because Old Br ian Goldner ?s r esignation is
M an Jenkins said so, and he is the m ost tr ustw or thy expected on Tuesday, August 3r d, 2049.
m an in the w hole flat w or ld. (He told m e the w or ld w as
flat too! Ever yone now adays ar e idiots). Editor?s Note: This is a work of fiction
Her e i s a Li st of Th i n gs I
Li k e
By Julia Goldm an
* Chocolate
* Reading
* Puppies
* M usic
* Cats
* M yself
Th e Fan cy Cat #1
By The Fancy Cat
Hello ?cam per s?, The Fancy
Cat is back w ith four
questions! Just a r em inder ,
my pockets ar e in the big
r ed thing ? and in your
lunch line. So, her e w e go ?
Question Number One: yes.
This per son is clear ly
saying ?yes? because of
fish. Fish is a beautiful
thing. Nom nom nom nom
Question Number Two:
10/10, would pet.
W hy, thank you, per son. I
hope you like cats better
then dogs, other w ise I
w ould not let you pet m e
even if you w er e the nicest
per son on ear t? okay, fine,
I w ould let you pet m e.
Question Number Three: Is
Olive Cute?
Is she? She is a dog, w hich
subtr acts a bit. But then she
is ador able so I say she is
8/10 for cuteness.
Question Number Four:
Dogs.
Nope, not getting
answ er ed.
Bye! Thank you for
listening!
And r em em ber , my pockets
ar e in the r ed thing and in
your lunch line! Byeee!
Pet er ?s Gu i de t o Cu r bi n g Wr i t er ?s Bl ock
By Peter Tr avis
Do you have w r iter ?s block? Good! I?m going to show you how to beat
it.
1. Think of the m ost outr ageous thing ever. (I.E Batm an r iding a
scooter w hile battling a giant fir e-br eathing scor pion zom bie w ith
w ings.)
2. Cr eate a them e ar ound your outr ageous idea/s.(I.E Both Batm an
and the Scor pion Zom bie do an advice colum n together at a sum m er
cam p in subur ban M assachusetts.)
3. Ask another per son to help you w ith this idea that you have. (I.E
Hoping you don?t get a r estr aining or der fr om the per son you ask to
help you.)
4. Pr ofit! Sell your idea to a publisher and get paid. (I.E Going to
Penguin Books and asking if anyone w ants Batm an r iding a scooter
doing an advice colum n w ith a Fir e Br eathing Scor pion Zom bie.)
5. Do it all again. Think of a new idea.
After you have com pleted this pr ocess at least thr ee tim es, you should
have enough m oney to fund your college education and get a new
Fer r ar i. All because you had w r iter ?s block!
Now give m e half of your m oney.
W h at Th e Em oj i M ov i e Di d Wr on g
By Ethan M am enta
Well, The Em oji M ovie cam e out. July 28 cam e and w ent? and now
nobody car es. All of the YouTuber s that used Em oji M ovie m em es on a
r egular basis have m ade their ?IT?S FINALLY HERE? and their ?EM OJI
M OVIE REVIEW 10/10? videos. It is now the definition of a dead
m em e. To be honest, it had a pr etty good life too. W hen you look at
m em es like PPAP and ?w hat ar e those? w hich w er e dead befor e they
w er e even m em es (is it too ear ly to m ake a Har am be joke?), the Em oji
M ovie m em e did pr etty w ell. But then Sony Anim ations w ent and
killed it by r eleasing the m ovie. That?s r ight, the w or st decision that
the studio ever m ade w as to com e out w ith the m ovie that ever yone
w as w aiting for. I feel like ever yone knew that The Em oji M ovie w ould
be bad, but they w er en?t r eady for this atr ocity of a m ovie. It seem s
like people thought that it w ould be like The Room , w her e the
am using par t is how bad it is. M oviegoer s w er e shocked w hen they
r ealized that the am using par t of The Em oji M ovie w as? nothing.
Ther e w as absolutely nothing am using about this m ovie. Don?t get m e
w r ong, it w as bad. It w as r eally bad. But it w asn?t like other bad
m ovies w her e you can at least get a kick out of the ter r ible acting and
w r iting. If you see it in theatr es, you w ill find that ther e is an
aw kw ar d silence thr oughout the m ovie. That is, if you ar e lucky
enough to go to a scr eening that isn?t com pletely em pty. All in all, I
think the m ain char acter sum s up the m ovie ver y w ell: ?m eh?.
Ask Li n k ! Th e I n t er n at i on al M LB New s
By Link And Lita By Cole Tom etsko

Hello, I do not play your odd video game but I needed
advice. W hat should I do about my mind fungus?
Love, Fungal
Um m m , I'm a bit confused. If w e have a case of
?fungus am ong us? my suggestion w ould be to go to
a doctor about that. I don't know if you could
actually get fungus on your br ain. But this also
m ight be a cr y for help, or an inside joke, so I w ish
you the best of luck . And my gam e is not odd.
Hi Link, what is it like being a hero?
Well, I like m aking people happy, and br inging
peace to my land. But it takes a lot of w or k, and
som etim es dying over and over again isn't pleasant,
but I?d do alm ost anything to save the people I love.
I am pr oud to be the her o of Hyr ule.
In your opinion what should the ?beautiful money?
characters have for a color schemes?
I don?t know if this is a TV show , or a gam e. And I
have never hear d of this, but my favor ite color s ar e
blue, w hite, gr een, and gold. I hope this is helpful.
Welcom e to the Inter national M LB New s,
your one place for ever yday M LB New s. The
Red Sox w on 6-2 over the Cleveland Indians
the other night. M ookie Betts had 3 RBIs,
Rafael Dever s w ent 4-4 and Doug Fister got
his fir st w in as a Red Sox. But other than
that and Aar on Judge hitting his 34th hom e
r un of the season in a Yankees w in, the thing
ever yone is talking about in the w or ld of
baseball: THE TRADE DEADLINE. The
Yankees got star pitcher Sonny Gr ay in a
tr ade that the Oakland A?s got thr ee
pr ospects, including one of the Yanks top
pr ospects, Jor ge M ateo. The Los Angeles
Dodger s got star pitcher Yu Dar vish fr om
the Ranger s. The Dodger s did not tr ade
aw ay any of its top pr ospects for Dar vish.
The Red Sox acquir ed Addison Reed to help
out w ith their bullpen. And finally, the
infam ous Steve Bar tm an got a Wor ld Ser ies
r ing fr om the Chicago Cubs.

W ho are you? W here did you come from? Explain yourself?!!

Hello, my nam e is Link . I am fr om the m agical land of Hyr ule. W her e I?m fr om , ever yone is an elf, and
w e live in peace and har m ony. How do I explain myself? Well, I?m just a her o fr om Hyr ule, and I am
visiting planet ear th for a w hile on a vacation, so I thought I w ould answ er som e questions. That's it.

Hi Link + Lita
Link: Hey! How ar e you today? Thank you for dr opping by and saying hi!
Lita: Linky, that r hym es! Hahaha!
Link: I know , that's w hy I said it. And w ill you quit calling m e Linky??
Lita: Hehehe Linky tw inky binky sinky w inky!
Link: Dear LORD! You know how em bar r assing that is?
Lita: I know , that's w hy I said it!

I?m having so many feelings lately!! HELP!!!

Okay, my best advice for you w ould be to get a jour nal, and w r ite dow n your feelings. Talk to a fam ily
m em ber or fr iend. Or if you'r e lonely like m e, talk to your hor se! Or a plant. Well, I hope you sor t out
your feelings!

W hy don't you cut your hair, is it magical!?

Well, I just like long hair , and I think it?s pr etty. I w ish it w as m agical, so then if I sang it w ould glow or
som ething. Actually, I?ve never tr ied that! * Link star ts belting the lyr ics to a song nobody know s, and
shatter s a w indow * never m ind?

How can I get a boyfriend? TELL M E!!!

Well, let m e r em ind you that I have been r ejected by my cr ush, Pr incess Zelda, m or e than I?ve even
asked her out. But if you like som eone, go ahead and ask them ! If they say no, then feel fr ee to join my
pity par ty being held at: 666 Link is a pathetic loner blvd. Br ing a cake, or the flow er s you tr ied to give
your cr ush!
Top 17 Doct or s
By The 19th Doctor (Walker Adam s)

17: M ichael Jackson, The Doctor that never w as

? He w as supposed to play The Doctor in a
m ovie.

16: David Tennant, The 10.1 Doctor ? He w as

the 10th m eta cr isis.

15: Cather ine Tate, The Par t Doctor ? She got

all The Doctor ?s know ledge, but she had to get
her m ind er ased.

14: Peter Cushing, The 1 Doctor ? He is not

consider ed The Doctor because he w as only in a
film called Dr. W ho & The Daleks. But, he is The
Doctor in that m ovie.

13: Paul M cGann, The 8th Doctor ? I put him in

this place because he only w as in tw o Doctor
W ho things: Doctor W ho, The M ovie and The
Night of The Doctor m ini film .

12: Jon Per tw ee, The 3r d Doctor ? Although he had his ow n seasons, I put him in 12th place because
he w as stuck on ear th because of the Tim e Lor ds.

11: Colin Baker , The 6th Doctor ? He str angled his ow n com panion. That's enough said.

10: Chr istopher Eccleston, The 9th Doctor ? He w as only in one season and I did not like his outfit.

9: Peter Davison, The 5th Doctor ? I thought he w as a good Doctor , but the celer y on his shir t is w eir d.

8: W illiam Har tnell, The 1st Doctor ? Although he w as the or iginal Doctor , he flunked his lines a lot.

7: Patr ick Tr oughton, The 2nd Doctor ? He w as a good doctor w ith funny catchphr ases but his acting
w as not the best.

6: Sylvester M cCoy, The 7th Doctor ? I thought he w as r eally good, But Classic W ho got cancelled w hile
he w as still The Doctor.

5: John Hur t, The War Doctor ? I thought John Hur t Was an aw esom e Doctor. But he w as only in the
Day Of The Doctor.

4: Peter Capaldi, The 12th Doctor ? I put him in spot 4 because ? w ell, I just think his new scr ew dr iver
is aw esom e.

3: M att Sm ith, The 11th Doctor ? I put him in 3r d place because I thought he had good episodes but not
good acting.

2: David Tennant, The 10th Doctor ? Tennant ear ns 2nd because of his aw esom e acting and
com panions.

1: Tom Baker , The 4th Doctor ? Tom gets num ber one because I thought he w as REALLY FUNNY.
How t o Sol ve a Ru bi k 's Cu be: 4. Fir st layer (On the fir st
By Zach Levine layer beneath the w hite
side m ake a str aight line
of the sam e color )
1. Get to know your cube (lear n
5. Second layer (on the
w hat pieces ar e in w hat places)
layer beneath the fir st
2. W hite cr oss (on the w hite side layer m ake str aight lines
cr eate a plus shaped pictur e) of the sam e color s
3. W hite cor ner s (finish the w hite over lapping the other
side) color s)
To m ake the second layer , you have to put color s m atching the side your one and the color on the side.
To do this, use this patter n w hen you'r e holding the cube as show n in the pictur e at the top:

To do it in the other dir ection, use this patter n:

6. Yellow cr oss (On the yellow side cr eate a plus shaped pictur e, the yellow side is on the top)
Use these patter ns
to m ake it: State 1:

State 2.

State 3.
Now you have the cr oss!!!

7. The fish (on the yellow side use OLL to tur n the cr oss into a fish) put the m ost solved side on the
r ight of w her e you ar e holding the cube. And use this patter n a few tim es until you have the shape of a
fish.

8. The yellow cor ner s (use OLL again to solve the yellow side) Put the point of the fish to your left and
do the patter n above again, if this does not solve the yellow side, put the point to your left and do it
again.

9. The last layer (on the layer beneath the second layer m ake str aight lines of the sam e color s
over lapping the other color s) Put the m ost solved side on the back and yellow side on top and w hite
side on bottom , and use the patter n below

if this does not do the patter n and steps again. Once it looks like this, put the m ost solved
m ake it look side in the back and yellow on top and w hite on bottom , then do this
solved or like this,
patter n until it solves.

YOU ARE DONE!!!!!!!! (hoor ay!!!)

Pictur es: https://w w w.youcandothecube.com /solve-it/3-x-3-solution
Check out the CRCAP facebook page for a video of m e solving a Rubik?s cube!
Link: https://w w w.facebook .com /Char lesRiver Cr eativeAr ts/
I n t er v i ew of Col e Tom et sk o
By Ben Kelly and Cole Tom etsko
1. W hy the curly hair?
Answ er : Don?t car e.
2. W hy do write the same article every day?
Answ er : Because it?s cool.
3. How the heck are you so stinking
tall!!!!!?????
Answ er : Because it?s the w ay of life.
4. W hy are you so into diet cookie dough
bars?
Answ er : Hey, it?s not diet. It?s pr otein.
Debu n k i n g Th eor i es: New Yor k vs. New
En gl an d
By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able)
New Yor k and New England, in som e people?s
m inds, HATE each other to the bone; they both
think they have super ior education, better
chow der s, and m ost im por tantly, better spor ts
team s. Sur e, people in both r egions do hate
each other in som e w ays, but for the m ost par t
they fair ly like each other. Except in spor ts? if
it?s spor ts, it?s ever y m an for them selves. But
New Yor k and New England do like each other
fair ly w ell; they?r e m or e like fr enem ies.

5. W hat is your favorite place to visit?

Answ er : Don?t know.

6. W hat is your favorite sport?

Answ er : Don?t know

7. W hat?s duh deal with your shooozz?

Answ er : They?r e old

8. W hat?s yo favorite color?

Answ er : RED.

9. W hat is your favorite vehicle?

Answ er : Chevy, m aybe

10. W hat?s yo favorite food?

Answ er : Pizza.

We?r e pr et t y su r e m y m om i s on a TSA w at ch l i st (M i sadven t u r es of M y M ot h er Par t 2)

By Tillie Slosser

So in 7th gr ade, w e w ent to the fr ench car ibbean for vacation. It w as r eally pr etty, and w as a nice
tem per atur e, and had r eally gr eat snor keling beaches. How ever , my fam ily has a str ange infatuation
w ith playing boar d gam es on vacation, and one of our favor ites is Clue. So, my m om being the cr afty
per son she is, photocopied and lam inated the Clue boar d so w e could br ing it on the plane. She packed
the r est of the pieces, like the car ds, and char acter pieces, in a plastic bag. Think for a second about
w hat else is par t of the Clue gam e. You guessed it, it?s the teeny tiny r evolver , r ope, lead pipe, etc. Those
ar e the pieces m ade out of lead, w hich is a m etal, w hich show s up on X-r ays. After w e had gone
thr ough secur ity, they pulled us aside. A nice young TSA agent kindly explained that our luggage had
set off the m etal detector. He opened up our bag, poked ar ound in it for a m inute, and cam e up w ith
the plastic bag full of little Clue pieces. He opened the bag and said that he couldn?t let us thr ough to
the plane w ith w eapons. So of cour se, w e laughed. It?s like a centim eter long knife, r ight? Ar e w e going
to stab The Bor r ow er s or som ething? Eventually, he let us thr ough the plane (Fun stor y: M y gr andm a
on my dad?s side actually got thr ough TSA w ith m ultiple pair s of gar dening shear s once). BUT WAIT!
On the w ay back, w e got pulled over AGAIN because my m om m ay or m ay not be on a TSA w atch list
fr om her job a w hile ago (She deals in cr isis m anagem ent so for a w hile she had to book her flight on
the r un, w hich appar ently is suspicious). So, m or al of the stor y? Don?t tr y to br ing Clue pieces on a
flight, because they w ill think you ar e supplying the Bor r ow er M afia.