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The Only Way Forward For 12 jolly years, Honest Tony, then Good Gordon and Harry Har-thingy assured Joe Blow and me that, ‘Immigration is good for the economy.’ So Joe and I watched with puzzled frowns as Honest-T, then Good Gord and Happy Harry shipped in economic saviours from all quarters of the globe. But the moment that Honest-T, Good Gord and Harry, rode off into the sunset, Foreign Foxes from the IMF came galloping in and told me and Joe that, in spite of all this outside help, ‘Your economy’s in shit-state mate. So you’d better pull up your socks and tighten your belt, or else your grandchildren will have to exist on handouts from the Congo and Zimbabwe.’ Now I don’t know about Joe but I don’t want to tighten my socks and pull up my belt, or do anything else for that matter. But, at the same time, I don’t want my grandchildren to be a burden on Africa. No. I prefer the message from Good Gord and Honest-T – that the answer lies in mass immigration. So, after weighing up the pros and cons, and placing my faith in the sound advice of Honest Brits instead of Foreign Fibbers, I think we should scrap the Border Agency; sack the lot of them and throw the gates wide open. Then the world and his wife will come swarming over the channel like Patton’s Cavalry riding to the rescue, and deliver us and our sick economy from the folly of our own greed. After that, in the Utopia once promised by Johnson and Prescott, with estates and ghettos stretching from coast to coast, and everyone fully employed building houses and roads and divining for drinking water, we will roll down our socks, loosen our belts, and scornfully tell the Africans to, ‘Stick your money up your jacksies!’ God Bless Us One and All

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