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ADVANCED ENGLISH

Trial Survival

Presented by:
ELYSE POPPLEWELL
Me: Elyse Popplewell
Completed my HSC in 2015 at Bede Polding College
ATAR: 94.95
Studied: Advance English, Extension One English, Extension
Two English, Modern History, Legal Studies, Studies of
Religion One, and French Beginners.
Studies now at UTS: Bachelor of Communications
(Journalism)
When we asked you to write what
you are struggling with:

Creative Writing x1000


Essay Writing x1000
Improving vocabulary
General Maths
Sorry Im signing up for a friend I dont know
Chemistry
Everything

3
TODAYS SCHEDULE

Creative Writing: Second Hour: Third Hour:


-Finding your Essay Writing: Fine tuning
inspiration -Formulating a thesis -Analysing a text
-Using a prepared -Responding to the -Vocabulary
piece: good idea or question -Memorisation
bad idea? -Structuring an essay techniques
-Fine editing -How will you tackle
-Incorporating the the exam?
stimulus

4
ADVANCED ENGLISH
Part One: Creative Writing

Presented by:
ELYSE POPPLEWELL
Starting from scratch
What is your passion?
Is there a time period that interests you most?
Is there a country that interests you most?
Are you creatively minded or analytically minded?

Read:
Tim Wintons anthology: Scission
Tim Wintons anthology: Minimum of Two
Margaret Atwood (AKA: Queen )
-Death by Landscape (available on google)
PLOT OR CHARACTER DRIVEN?
(Short stories)

Plot Driven:
The plot is well thought out and is the vehicle for discovery. The plot has a
series of events that prompt a discovery. This will usually, but not always,
have a typical introduction, series of events, climax and conclusion.

Character Driven:
This type of story is usually internalised within a single individual who is the
vehicle for discovery. This may be written in the first, second or third
person. Typically the discovery would be a form of epiphany or reevaluation.
My story

Interests:
1950s America
Womens rights
E2 short story set in the 1950s
E1 After the Bomb (Cold War Period)

Requirement of my creative writing: DISCOVERY.

So I thoughtwhat can I discover in the 1950s America? A new casserole


recipe?
So I moved it into the 1960s, the beginning of women publically
recognising their place.
My Story
Welcome, ladies, to the ad hoc symposium presented to you, the women of
Washington in this warm June of 63. (Establishment of time and place!)
It could have been in the moment I realised that Id be having a child and that there
was a weighty significance regarding their gender that the state of this existence
occurred to me. How bizarre, that it was only when I toyed with the idea of having a boy
or a girl, and no longer just a baby, that my child no longer seemed to be just an ideal
addition to my life? Id like to assume that every child is born with malleable
possibilities; so that grazed knees, moments of joy, toothless grins and messy tears
can shape intricate facets of each little human. It is not so.
I will tell you an hitherto untold story, ladies. My pregnant neighbour came tearing into
my house in the stark loneliness of midday two years ago. She squealed through the
kitchen and then gathered her spindly limbs into her arms in a small bundle as she
cradled herself on my settee.
Im going to give birth to a shark. Lois, Im giving birth to a shark! (metaphor
beginning to be developed) Hell circle around in the pond before deciding which fish
he wants and hell pull her into the suburbs (establishment of location) and watch her
dehydrate. Dyou see Lo? Dyou see?
My Story
Then, of course, I did not see. As far as I knew, she was hopelessly neurotic! So I poured her some
tea. After we sipped from mugs like timid goldfish for a polite half hour, my neighbour left. After that
she blushed a blood red whenever we caught a brief look at each other as we tended to our own
front gardens.
Now, of course, I do see.
I was that fish and my shark was a fervent patriot. (Metaphor continued) He tipped off the authorities
about suspected communists, he passionately defended the atomic bombing of Japan, and told me
that Maternity is the patriotism of women. A dream? Im sure youve only whispered it to your own
self in complete solitude that you know as well as I doit is a nightmare. (Context provided and the
discovery is alluded to)
Did it happen to you too? Were you the anaemic little fish that my neighbour feared her son would
devour? Were you heroically whisked to the suburbs to build a masterful house with a Chevrolet
Corvette in the driveway? (Speech techniques)
I was only a few short months into my pregnancy when I began experiencing doubts similar to my
neighbours. Was I giving birth to a silenced artist, who would squeeze next to me in this cage as we
stare at the canvas in sight, but tantalisingly out of reach? Or would I give birth to a possibly not so
adroit painter, who will clutch a royal palette in one hand and guard an array of the superior quality
canvases in the other? Im certain that you all could trust me when I say that I tried painting the
cage. I tried decorating it Mamie pink. I pinned up the recipes to my husbands favourite meals. I
filled it with the smell of fresh brownies. No escape from my discomfort revealed itself.
Write about what you know

If you dont have an extremely well researched or great


passion for a particular era/location, then write about what
you know from experience.
Dont know what its like to land on Jupiter? Dont write
about landing on Jupiter.

Provide realism
Sensory imagery is heightened
Attention to detail becomes easier
The imagery will fall naturally
Your creativity can be focused on writing, not on imagining.
Write about what you know

The grandma that feeds you until you burst.


The pressure that your migrant parents face.
The reality of living with OCD.
Living in a family of 8 children.
Living in Australia, where everything is trying to kill you.
Working with your grandfather on his farm.
Building and flying kites with Aunty Brenda.
Write about what you know - setting

You want to move the marker into a new realm. You want
them to understand this new environment like they do their
own kitchen.
J K Rowling can make you think Hogwarts is a real, well
known place. Goals.

Use what you know to fill your story in with texture. Describe
those two-tone brown tiles in the bathroom.
Describe the sweet aroma of Indian spices in a hot fog.
Describe the sliced oranges on the side of the field and the
sounds of whistles.
The form
2010-2015: BOSTES has never specified a form.
The ask for imaginative writing or a creative piece.

Short story
Letter
Monologue
Speech
Feature Article
Poem
Hybrid form of all of the above
Diary entry
The tense
Tense can increase intensity, emotion, detachment, or tone.

Past tense can be reflective, passive, pensive, detached or


fondly recalled.
The present tense can be immediate, intense, engaging and
suspenseful.
The future tense is often wishful, knowledgeable, informed
or dreamy.

The most natural tense to write in is usually the past tense.

Be consistent with tenses dont flick between


unstrategically.
The tense

We stood together, linking arms. The car screeched to a stop


in front of us. The frail man alighted from his vehicle and
stared into my eyes.

We stand together linking arms. The car is approaching and


my toes are digging into the dust. The man is stepping out of
the vehicle with a defensive posture. Hes staring into my
eyes.
Respect your reader

The best writers respect their readers intelligence to make


connections. If you give them all the elements for the cake,
they can put it together themselves.

In the marking centre, this still applies, to a degree. You want


to avoid being cryptic because this isnt the kind of text that
your audience (the marker) has the time to riddle with, even if
they would like to. Your markers are smart people, they can
put pieces of a story together, but you need to give them
enough to do that. So dont withhold too much!

Nevertheless, you should always show and not tell.


Show dont tell

I was 14 at the time. I was young, vulnerable and nave. At


14, you have such little life experience, so I didnt know how to
react.

BORING.
Telling: The beach was windy and the weather was hot.

Showing: Hot sand bit my ankles as I stood on the shore.

Its about variation!


Creating a character

You have a very short amount of time to introduce a character


that is believable, engaging, and possibly relatable.
Your character has the potential to be the vehicle for discovery.

Describing age, gender and hair colour isnt enough.


Is hair colour even important????????????????????
What about the wrinkles at the edges of her lips, or the
blood blisters on his hands?
IRIS APFEL

Photo Credit: Daniela Federici


IRIS APFEL
Photo Credit: Daniela Federici

In the centre of it all, perched on a vintage upholstered


armchair, is Apfel. Her purple-rinse hair is freshly cut and
she is dressed in pleather trousers, zebra ballet slippers
and her trademark enormous owl-eye spectacles. About 15
pieces of chunky jewellery hang from her neck and wrists,
giving her the air of a punkish Upper East Side dowager.
Words by Josephine Tovey, published in The Daily Life 2016.
Relating to the stimulus

Lenience:
There is lenience for tense.
There is less lenience for gender.
No lenience if it requires it to be at the start.

Dont be risky with the stimulus. Use it directly and correctly


to the best of your ability.
Relating to the stimulus
2015 Paper One (BOSTES):
Compose a piece of imaginative writing which explores the
unexpected impact of discovery.
Use ONE of the images on the next page as the central
element of your writing.
Relating to the stimulus
2014 Paper One (BOSTES):
Among Others is a collection of different pieces of writing about
individuals finding their place in a community.
Compose a piece of writing which would be suitable for inclusion in
this collection.
Use ONE of the sentences below as the first sentence of your
imaginative writing.

1. If you dont have a capacity for solitude, you will always be lonely.
2. My little world started to reveal itself to me.
3. The gravel, small as peas, moved beneath their feet and from it a
faint dust rose, the perfume of the town.
Relating to the stimulus
2015:

Colour
Salient Image
Metaphor
Imagery
Type of painting
Literally use it as
an object
Being a composer - like a pro
You spend all year analysing techniques, now use them!
Use metaphors and similes
AVOID clichs (return to this soon)
If you write a speech, use rhetorical questions or high modality.

Basically, you have spent the year studying wordsmiths. Now, you
need to emulate their talents in your own work!
The grand opening!

Writers Digest wrote an article 5 Wrong Ways to Start a Story.


The only thing worse than a story opening with a ringing
alarm clock is when the character reaches over to turn it off
and then exclaims, Im late.
The grand opening!
Call me Ishmael Herman Melville, Moby Dick.
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking
thirteen. George Orwell, 1984.
It was a pleasure to burn. Ray Bradbury, Farenheit 451.
I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. Dodie Smith, I Capture the
Castle.
In case you havent noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on
inside your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going.
Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How does it decide
what to say and what to say it? Michael A Singer, The Untethered
Soul: The Journal Beyond Yourself.
Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four Pivet Drive, were proud to say
that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. J K
Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone.
Tips for writing George Orwell
From Politics and the English Language
1. Never use a metaphor, a simile, or other figure of speech which
you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if
you cant think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright
barbarous.
Tips for writing Elmore Leonard
Leonard has written about two dozen novels, many have been best
sellers. These are two tips relevant to HSC students.
1. Never use the words suddenly or all hell broke loose.
2. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.
Tips for writing Kurt Vonnegut
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time
was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two thingsreveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make
awful things happen to themin order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world,
so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck
with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going
on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches
eat the last few pages.
The greatest American short story writer of my generation was Flannery O'Connor. She
broke practically every one of my rules but the first. Great writers tend to do that.
ADVANCED ENGLISH
Part Two: Essay Writing

Presented by:
ELYSE POPPLEWELL
Structuring an Essay
Introduction

Body para one

Body para two

Body para three

Conclusion
Structuring an Essay

Introduction

Thesis: A combo of certainty +


uncertainty influences the
perception of ones identity.

-Introduce both texts


-Identify identity
-Talk about textual integrity and
human condition.
Structuring an Essay

Thesis: Stages of certainty of ones identity may be fleeting,


but immensely powerful.
Text: Wild Swans at Coole
Evidence:
Metaphor of water
High Modality
Full stop to end the poem

Talk about: textual integrity, modern response, oeuvre.


Discovery Structure

What you need to do in a discovery essay:


Respond to the question
Create your own unique take on the question, incorporating
the rubric.
Focus on DISCOVERY NOT ON THE TEXTS.
Use the texts to support your ideas about discovery.
Use a prescribed text and an ORT (or two?)
Main thesis

Smaller branch This is the part that makes the marker


of argument go wow!
This is the part that is the original
take on the essay question.
This will be woven through your
Smaller branch paragraphs seamlessly, with the
of argument support of the smaller arguments.

Smaller branch This is what gives direction to each


of argument paragraph. Each paragraph will follow
this vein specifically, whilst still be
interconnected with the main thesis.
THESIS
Discovery Essay - Introduction
Discoveries can cause an individual to grow.
Introduction:
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of
and response to discovery. The extent of discovery is determined by
the willingness to embrace the process of discovery and the
connections made with places and people. Discoveries may be
planned, as was the journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan
OMahoneys documentary Go Back To Where You Came From
(2008). Else, discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity,
as was the experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant
Lands (1987). Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful
and transformative of ones perspective.
Discovery Essay - Introduction
Discoveries can cause an individual to grow.
Introduction:
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of
and response to discovery. The extent of discovery is determined by
the willingness to embrace the process of discovery and the
connections made with places and people. Discoveries may be
planned, as was the journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan
OMahoneys documentary Go Back To Where You Came From
(2008). Else, discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity,
as was the experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant
Lands (1987). Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful
and transformative of ones perspective.
Discovery Essay - Introduction
Discoveries can cause an individual to grow.
Introduction:
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of
and response to discovery. The extent of discovery is determined by
the willingness to embrace the process of discovery and the
connections made with places and people. Discoveries may be
planned, as was the journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan
OMahoneys documentary Go Back To Where You Came From
(2008). Else, discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity,
as was the experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant
Lands (1987). Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful
and transformative of ones perspective.
Discovery Essay - Introduction
Discoveries can cause an individual to grow.
Introduction:
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of
and response to discovery. The extent of discovery is determined by
the willingness to embrace the process of discovery and the
connections made with places and people. Discoveries may be
planned, as was the journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan
OMahoneys documentary Go Back To Where You Came From
(2008). Else, discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity,
as was the experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant
Lands (1987). Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful
and transformative of ones perspective.
Discovery Essay - Introduction
Discoveries can be transformative of an individual
Introduction:
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of
and response to discovery. The extent of discovery is determined by
the willingness to embrace the process of discovery and the
connections made with places and people. Discoveries may be
planned, as was the journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan
OMahoneys documentary Go Back To Where You Came From
(2008). Else, discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity,
as was the experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant
Lands (1987). Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful
and transformative of ones perspective.
Discovery Essay - Introduction
Discoveries can be transformative of an individual
Introduction:
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of
and response to discovery. The extent of discovery is determined by
the willingness to embrace the process of discovery and the
connections made with places and people. Discoveries may be
planned, as was the journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan
OMahoneys documentary Go Back To Where You Came From
(2008). Else, discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity,
as was the experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant
Lands (1987). Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful
and transformative of ones perspective.
Discovery middle of the burger

The environment that invited discovery


(The beginning of the transformation)

The events that triggered the discovery


(process of transformation)

The outcome: the evolution complete


Discovery middle of the burger

Idea about discovery number 1


Eg. Discoveries may be planned
Linked by thesis

Idea about discovery number 2


Eg. Discoveries may be unplanned

Idea about discovery number 3


Eg. Discoveries may be intensely meaningful.
What are integrated essays?
Integrated by:
-Themes
-Texts
-Techniques
It may mean you deal with two texts concurrently in the same
paragraph.
It may mean that you have a paragraph dedicated to each text,
but occasionally flick back to the other text to make a specific
connection.

You should integrated your essays, even in small ways, so that


your arguments are cohesive and not isolated.
Examples of Integrated Essays
The evolution of human perceptivity may begin in an environment that
stimulates new experiences with the potential to impel discoveries.
OMahoneys documentary opens with archival footage of Australian television
reporting on the issue of asylum seekers, involving prejudices and opinion.
***paragraph continues*** This way a responder may be able to identify
with a participant and experience the discovery as it occurs.
Next paragraph:
Racial prejudice is also a platform for discovery in Distant Lands. The girl they
call Fat Maz is reminded of the regularity.. (continues paragraph about ORT,
connecting
Examples of Integrated Essays
In Module A, youre almost forced to integrate!

Simultaneously, Pacino utilised chiaroscuro lighting to mirror the


dual capacity of the dark and light of Richards identity, and also
supporting Shakespeares pun of the shadow and the sun.
RESPONDING TO
AN ESSAY
QUESTION

50
Aim

Your job is not to prove the essay question.


Your job is to take the essay question with confidence, and
then prove YOUR OWN argument.
Dont replace key words of the question, only add to them.
Dont completely agree, but dont completely disagree.
It would be too easy to see the question on the page and
just run with it, you need to bring uniqueness and
perspective to the essay.

Its best to stay in the low modality and avoid absolutes when
creating your own response.
What to look for to challenge

Auxiliary Verbs (can, could, may, must, shall, should, will,


would)
Absolutes (everyone/no one)
Low Modality (use this to your advantage)
Adjectives (Add to these)
2015: Discovery Essay Q

The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden


and reconsidering what is known.
How is this perspective on discovery explored in your
prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own
choosing?
2015: Discovery Essay Q
The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden
and reconsidering what is known.
What do we know about the process of discovery?

Straight from the rubric:


Discoveries can be sudden and unexpected, or they can emerge from a
process of deliberate and careful planning evoked by curiosity, necessity or
wonder. Discoveries can be fresh and intensely meaningful in ways that
may be emotional, creative, intellectual, physical and spiritual. They can
also be confronting and provocative.

The unexpected nature of the discovery process may prompt confronting


reconsideration of ones worldview. This sudden re-evaluation of
perspective may also trigger a discovery of something hidden, which has
the potential to be intensely meaningful and transformative in its own right.
2015: Discovery Essay Q
The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and
reconsidering what is known.
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of
and response to discovery. The extent of discovery is determined by
the willingness to embrace the process of discovery and the
connections made with places and people. Discoveries may be
planned, as was the journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan
OMahoneys documentary Go Back To Where You Came From
(2008). Else, discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity,
as was the experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant
Lands (1987). Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful
and transformative of ones perspective.
2015: Discovery Essay Q
The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and
reconsidering what is known.
The evolution of each individual is fertilised by their experiences of and
response to discovery. The provocative nature of discovery may prompt
renewed perceptions for an individual and may unveil hidden but
transformative elements. Discoveries may be planned, as was the
journey undertaken by the participants of Ivan OMahoneys
documentary Go Back To Where You Came From (2008). Else,
discoveries can be unplanned and evoked by curiosity, as was the
experience of Fat Maz in Tim Wintons short story Distant Lands
(1987). Both texts are a testament to the notion that the extent of
discovery is determined by the willingness to embrace the process of
discovery and the connections made with places and people.
Discoveries have the ability to be intensely meaningful and
transformative of ones perspective.
ADVANCED ENGLISH
Part Three: Fine tuning

Presented by:
ELYSE POPPLEWELL
Analysing a visual text
Salience
Angle
Colour
Vector lines
Positioning (foreground, midground, background)
Contrast
Composition (what is placed deliberately where and what is
omitted)
Body language/eye gaze
Analysing a written text
HOT TIP: Be sure to talk about both the language
techniques and the form techniques.

In a poem, there will also be enjambment, stanzas, perhaps a


sonnet form, maybe a rhyming couplet. These are important to
the structure, and are so commonly overlooked!

In a novel there will be chapters, or maybe there wont be!


Perhaps each chapter will start with a reflection, or every
sentence is truncated (although I hope not because what a
tedious read!)
Unseen Texts

Characterisation Suggestion:
1. Spend the reading time smashing
Metaphors and through the texts.
similes 2. Make mental notes of the techniques
until you can pick up a highlighter/pen
Tone and modality and make note.
Themes 3. Read the question, pick out the
techniques youve noted that suit the
Colour question.
Vector 4. Write, write, write.

Personification Many people benefit from writing a kind of


thesis statement to start off each short
answer response, to give it direction and
ground it in the area of study.
Vocabulary in an essay

The human condition: overused, but really important. Dont


leave it generalised, be specific.
Firstly, secondly, thirdly
In conclusion/to conclude
The protagonist makes the discovery.
The composer states
Vocabulary in an essay

Dont use big words for the sake of using big words.
Dont just open up a thesaurus and use the synonyms.
Aim to write concisely. Word economy is very powerful.
Sometimes youll need to jiggle around a sentence and fit
two into one.
SOMETIMES, youll need to take one sentence and split it
into two.
Nominalisation

Turning a verb into a noun.


Increases sophistication.

Crime was increasing rapidly in the area.


The rapid crime increase in the area

The country invaded France, which became the start of the


war.
The invasion of France begun the war.
Memorising essays, yay or nay?
I memorised all of my essays!

HOW?
1. Writing and re-writing
2. Mnemonics
3. Speaking out loud
4. Organic memorisation
5. Recording it and then listening to it
6. Making it forever present