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Founder: Vishwa Nath (1917-2002)

JULY (FIRST) 2017


Vol 44, Issue No. 1046
womansera.com BUILDS HAPPY HOMES

Articles
06
YOU CAN MAKE POSSIBLE,
EVEN THE IMPOSSIBLE
D. C. Sharma

67 SPOTLIGHT
ON SPINACH
Deepalatha
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Prachi Srivastava
10 14 PERCEIVING BEAUTY
Swetha Sunder

74 ADOPT A
HEALTH LIFE STYLE
Sudesh Gogia

76 NEW

26
PARENTS OF SUCCESSFUL
CHILDREN DO THIS
Lesley D. Biswas
STORYTELLING APPS
Ramesh Kumar Raja

79 REASONS WHY
Himanshu Yadav

82 LONG DISTANCE
RELATIONSHIP
MONSOON
54
FASHION TRENDS
Suman Bajpai
Cookery

Munmun Bhattacharjee

PHOBIAS
I. M. Soni

MYRIAD MYTHS
T. Rajagopalan

INTENSITY OF

WORKING WOMEN
36
Shreeprakash Sharma
CONCENTRATION
I. M. Soni

TIFFANYS STORY
Devayni Medhekar

LAUGH AND LET THE


MAGIC WORK
Vijai Pant
38
SIMPLY DELICIOUS

Pineapples Square Cookies


Stuffed Fresh Tomatoes
Fried Cabbage Cakes
23 IS THIS TRUE? FOR GOOD MEASURE Spicy Cucumber Relish
Munmun Bhattacharjee Mala Ashok
Chocolatey Modak
34 7 ESSENTIALS IS A POET REALLY BORN? Okra Patties
Sanjana Saini Mithun Day Taco Salad with Homemade Tortilla Bowls
35 12 MONSOON SPECIAL CHARACTERISTICS OF A Cheese Wafers
GARDEN CARE TIPS POTENTIAL RAPIST Creamy Vanilla Fudge
Lesley D. Biswas Sudha Chandrasekaran Corn Walnut Dip and many more...
18 ITS CALLED 62 A GROOM SAVITHRI, THE
TEENAGE LOVE FOR KAVI INVINCIBLE
Heera Nawaz Savitri Babulkar Raa Iramamurthy

32 THE 70 SMOKY STUFF VOTING FIASCO


UNINVITED PART-II Priyanka Chauhan
GUEST C. J. Nandakumar
Arnav Garg

48 SWEET
N SOUR
Geeta Kashyap
80 THE GAMBLE
Ananya Sarkar
Fiction
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EDITORIAL YOGA DAY
I
nternational Yoga Day was celebrated with great
fervour and enthusiasm. There can be no dispute

INSENSITIVE POLICE
regarding the benefits of Yoga. But the way government
(Modi) is patronising and sponsoring Yoga seems
intimidating. Remember, the very first International Yoga

S
hould women, victim of rape, sleep with policemen to Day? Some sections of society saw it as a cultural invasion
get their rapists arrested? Yes, this has happened in on their traditional beliefs and way of life.
Rampur, Uttar Pradesh. The case began back in They also saw it associated with Hindu religion and as
February when the woman said Ameer and Satar offered such plainly refused to do some asanas like Surya
her a lift home from a relative's house, only to return and Namaskar and reciting Om as it is an integral part of all
rape her later when they discovered she was home alone. mantras Hindus recite while worshipping or telling beeds.
She reported the case to police, but says officers failed to Because of this and several other myths associated
file charges until she went to a local court to complain. with Yoga, a large section of society, including
Even then, she said her attackers - who live in the same some Hindus, remain deprived of getting full benefit of
village - were left free to roam the streets, leaving her in Yoga.
fear of life. The fact is Yoga has existed in all cultures in some form
Inspector then told her she needed to have sex with or other; just like the ways of worshipping are different in
him before he would arrest the men. She says her requests different religions but with a common goal. Likewise,
were repeatedly ignored by IO Jai Prakash Singh who meditation has also been present in different cultures since
instead of taking action against the rapists or detaining time immemorial. In Hindu religion, it is mainly considered a
them cross-examined her on the lurid details of the alleged domain of sages or some people of special attainment only.
attack. This is a great myth.
Despite making desperate pleas to Singh to jail the pair, he When you are solving a mathematical or scientific
began messaging her asking to meet in private and problem, you are meditating. Likewise, sports persons,
propositioning her, she says. When she complained about when they are focusing on victory, they are meditating.
his behaviour, she claims he closed the case. But Singh kept This type of meditation, which may be called active
on harassing her, at which point she made secret recordings meditation, can boost mental and physical capacity
and took them to the police chief. tremendously. But in Hindu religion, they mainly focused
Speaking about the tapes, police superintendent Vipin on passive meditation.
Tada said, The voice in the audio clip doesn't match with Move to popularise Yoga among the masses is
that of the [investigator]. But we will investigate her charges commendable. Scores of people have been doing this
thoroughly. devotedly in the past without caring for publicity or money.
Police are the last resort for a person in distress. The Their work could never come in limelight even though lots
woman in this case first suffered physical humiliation at the of people got huge health benefits after learning Yoga from
hands of two men and now is being harassed by a their masters.
policeman, who is supposed to uphold law and respect It is only in past few years that some so-called Yoga
womans dignity. gurus hijacked Yoga and began minting money out of it.
All talks of gender sensitisation of police remain on This has further distanced Yoga from the common people.
paper only and are not implemented in action. Even the Throngs of celebrities and high-profile people at special
higher authorities are trying to protect the culprit Yoga sessions organised to mark the International Yoga
policeman. Day is testimony to it.
In 2015 alone, there were 34,000 reported cases of If the government truly wants to popularise Yoga, it
rape in India, though that number is likely to be far higher must first make efforts to dispel the myths associated
since many do not go to the police for fear they with it. The current dispensation, which is seen as a
will not be believed, or will be shunned by their staunch Hindutva dispensation, will have to restore the
community. confidence of masses that Yoga is not against their
Marital rape is also not considered a crime, further religion or faith.
adding to the number of unreported cases. It should be Only then can a drive be undertaken comprehensively
made mandatory that rape cases will be handled by women and more and more people will adopt Yoga to get its
police officers. Only then concept of police sensitisation uncountable health benefits.
will be a reality. write to: editor@womansera.com We

Womans Era July (First) 2017 5


YOU CAN MAKE
POSSIBLE, EVEN
THE IMPOSSIBLE
It is a question of attitude. By D. C. Sharma

A
pig keeper was once told by his
community: You cannot make a
silk purse out of a sows ear. The
idea sank deep into his tender mind even
though he was hardworking and
innovative. But for how long can an
innovative mind remain contented with the
old outdated conservative wisdom? Just
when this fellow was trying his innovative
skills, another member of his community
discouraged him, You have grown old and
so has your brain, how can you teach an old
dog new tricks?
But this time he didnt get discouraged
by the negative remarks of such malicious
persons. He courageously liberated himself
by pulling down the prison house in which
he was getting incarcerated. The idea
sparked in his mind that jumping into timely
action is the only antidote to such
discouraging thoughts, and thus the myth
of impossibility can be exploded. This is
how you can do it too.
Shun the myth of the word impossible
forever. Have you ever thought that the
word impossible is itself revealing a great
lesson of life? Just see how it reveals a
and fresh solutions. The remedy truly
lies in initiating the task at hand. You
keep on seeing that each impossible
step goes on turning into an easy and
satisfying possibility.
To make the impossible, possible
changing your attitude is essential.
Those who easily get discouraged are
those who have lost their contact
with the highest intellect that guides
us all the time. And the solution lies in
bringing about a change in ones self.
The famous humorous English
EVEN THE GREAT dramatist George Bernard Shaw has THE FAMOUS
NAPOLEON SAYS THAT advised, Progress is impossible HUMOROUS ENGLISH
THE WORD IMPOSSIBLE without change, and those who DRAMATIST GEORGE
IS FOUND ONLY IN THE cannot change their minds cannot BERNARD SHAW HAS
DICTIONARY OF FOOLS. change anything. The easiest way is ADVISED, PROGRESS IS
to believe in the power of the infinite IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT
great motivational truth! Doesnt it intelligence that pervades the whole CHANGE, AND THOSE
say Im possible? If you still believe in WHO CANNOT CHANGE
the potency of the word impossible THEIR MINDS CANNOT
why not use the mighty power of your CHANGE ANYTHING.
brain now? for you to be angry and laughing at
Only those who use their boots the same time. Anger and laughter are
rather than their brains believe in the mutually exclusive and you have the
word impossible. Even the great power to choose either. Similarly,
Napoleon says that the word instead of choosing to get irritated,
impossible is found only in the learn to be happy and elated. Instead
dictionary of fools. Yes, it is the power of finding the job at hand difficult,
of our mighty brain that can take us to learn to take it easy by making it
the heights unimagined. When we use manageable. Having such an attitude
our brain the more experience and will gradually become a habit with
maturity we gain. The more we go
deep into a problem the more we
Nelson Mandela you.
Last but not least is the habit to
become aware that the solution itself
had advised, attract the cooperation of your
is not at all in possible. Remember It always seems colleagues. Then you can make the
that our own limited thinking keeps us impossible until it impossible work a possible task. Some
in actually bondage. One can do, win, is done. people have the habit of thinking that
and achieve even the impossible goal! if they ask for help and cooperation of
universe. When you start believing in others he or she will become weak in
DELVE INTO THE the creative energy which fills the
entire universe whose presence is as
the eyes of others. Actually, one may
not go on asking for help and
PROBLEM immanent in the frailest insect as in cooperation of colleagues if one has
Learn to initiate, and go deeper the farthest star you start feeling the not been offering help and
and deeper into the problem before surging positivity in you which cooperation to others very often. In
you. Nelson Mandela had advised, It motivates you to make even the such a scenario help and cooperation
always seems impossible until it is impossible task quite possible, to be automatically comes rushing. And, in
done. You may see this fact by going accomplished with perfection. that case, nothing ever remains an
down your own memory lane. When Actually, we ourselves make even impossible task. Rather, things go so
you were a student, didnt you fear the possible impossible! Most of us smoothly that they set an example for
how impossible it would be for you to get angry and frustrated finding even others to follow in the footsteps of
pass the next higher examination? But a minor trouble or difficulty in a task such movers and shakers. If you find
as you went deep into the matter at at hand. That nature of irritability is that impossible, now is the time to
hand, every step of going deeper and not our basic nature. It is our self- make it possible! We
deeper into the problems had shown created negativity. Motivational
you some fresh and new insights of writer Wayne Dyer provides a great
Nothing is impossible, the word
how to handle that situation with new workable solution, It is impossible itself says Im possible.
With no second thoughts.
By Prachi Srivastava

C
an someone fall intensely in The impression of being with him or subconscious creates sentiments and
love after a single swift glance? her seems like an outstanding feelings without us even recognising
Can a glimpse make one journey. You want to know the whole it. Impression development is the
believe that one wants to devote the kit and caboodle about them. In such psychosomatic definition for the
rest of ones life to a stranger, we a scenario, who cares about menace technique; our unconscious mind
have just seen for the first time? What and genuineness? It just feels so good understands individuality, their
makes two people who have never and you become so confident that this characteristics and facial features as
before even said hi to one another; is going to be the best relationship well.
have a visualisation of living their ever. The factual reason behind why we
future together, organised and fall in love at first sight is because a
unruffled. What exactly is love at first The reason behind particular person at times, generates
sight? Love at first sight is not easy to love at first sight an evaluation in our subconscious to
elucidate. The expression love at first Love at first sight is not easy to someone from our past who meant a
sight means falling in love with describe. Some people even lot to us. This is also known as the
someone after seeing him or her for contradict that it is imaginable, attraction aura. It refers to a
the very first time and not essentially claiming it is merely sexual attraction. particular way our brain relates
being verbally involved with the The mechanism of our subconscious attractiveness with goodness. People
person. When such a phenomenon mind is very simple. In fact, this can fall in love at first sight if the
happens you get butterflies in your simplicity has been the cause of many newfangled soul they see seems like
stomach by just seeing them. The first errors, typecasts and erroneous somebody they once loved before or
thing you want is their consideration. principles all through the ages. Our someone who had a constructive

10 Womans Era July (First) 2017


sway on their life. The subconscious love. Loving force and passion is likely like the person from the past did.
creates the outlook, because this new to dwindle and even vanish after a When a person experiences love at
individual looks like someone from while. first sight, he or she tends to think
your previous stint that was virtuous that it must be fortune and we have
for you, this new person might be To love, or not to love found the perfect one. The feeling
noble for you too and you start liking Each of us has our own perception can make us all wholehearted inside,
this new person very much. of attractiveness based on our own if a break-up then occurs we get
Expressing this, it seems more upbringing. We all see beauty in a confounded because we think we
comprehensible as to why some of us different way. Love at first sight has have lost someone dreamlike because
are positive; we have knowledgeable nothing to do with good looks. The of the mystic way we just transpired
love at first sight, even if beforehand, subconscious is trying to make you to be fascinated by them when we
we thought it was awkward. There attracted to this new person so that first saw them. The only one to blame
are many hidden subconscious ways you will do everything under your for this is the persons subconscious.
your brain deceives you into control to catch up with them. We respond according to our
discerning that you have found your According to the subconscious mind conscious thinking. Its acceptable to
soulmate. and its opinion, this new individual vacillate if the rest of your body is
will give one encouraging feelings just telling you to preserve your
Contradictory opinions safeguard. Love is out there, and its
regarding love at first sight LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT realistic. But dont try to style
Some people relate to the idea of
love at first sight very well. To some
CAN OFTEN BE something just because eye contact
made you all tingling inside.
people, whether it is real or not, it MISINFORMED SINCE
feels good. Everything seems to be so IT IS GROUNDED Follow your gut
rosy and like a fairytale. Some people
find this concept vague. They consider
MORE ON THOUGHTS Is love at first sight a worthy sign
for the future? Should we trail our
it as a practical joke. Contradictory AND FANTASIES THAN hearts and completely chase love at
opinions regarding love at first sight ON VISION; first sight? We usually should, as such
are generally based on two core HOWEVER, IT CAN love is a sincere manifestation of our
reasons. The first opinion suggests reaction. We are all acquainted with
that romantic love involves not only STILL BE LOVE, AND love at first sight, or at least the
attraction towards external OVER AND OVER impression of it. If you really and
appearance or any sexual desire, but AGAIN CAN BE VERY actually imagine yourself with
also of knowing the persons someone, go for it. Always follow
character behaviours, such as
STRONG. your gut. Often people may think they
compassion, trustworthiness and a have experienced love at first sight,
sense of humour. Such familiarity merely because they wanted
cannot be existent at first prospect, companionship. There is nothing
as it requires understanding. The incorrect with this, and the individual
second opinion suggests the fact that you have fallen for may be your
love does not merely entail feelings; companion for a long time. But it does
rather, it basically encompasses not certainly mean its meant to be.
actions, and these cannot be When a relationship shaped by love at
implemented at first sight. first sight misses the mark, it leaves us
Love at first sight can often be feeling like we lost something fate
misinformed since it is grounded more had proposed.
on thoughts and fantasies than on Still dont mistake taking someone
vision; however, it can still be love, for loving someone. Its important to
and over and over again can be very know what you might be getting into.
strong. Research specifies that Dont fear about what the future
romantic love is often based upon clamps. If its meant to be, it will only
romanticism and optimistic get better with time. If it isnt meant
impressions, and this is also correct to be, then live and learn. Always
regarding love that lasts many years. remember, life is too short to have
The fact that love at first sight may regret. We
succumb after a while also does not
imply that it was not a passionate Stay positive and happy.
love. Time is not a limited factor, or Surround yourself with happy,
even the principal measure of strong warm and genuine people.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 11


CHOLESTEROL
FRIEND OR FOE?
C
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inappropriate levels of cholesterol? If diseases. It further reduces the Arjuna, a deciduous riparian tree
yes, you have landed on the right amount of blood and oxygen reaching native to India is being used to treat
page! But even if you are not a patient to the heart and thus causes chest cardiovascular ailments since time
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dealing with it, chances are, you will Now, you know how important it is It effectively reduces LDL and
still need this information, sooner or to have controlled cholesterol levels increases HDL levels. It inhibits
later! Because, the unhealthy lifestyle to lead a happy, healthy and a hepatic cholesterol synthesis and
and deteriorating environmental prosperous life with your family. But increases the fecal bile aid excretion.
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prone to this risky health issue. drugs report adverse side effects, heart by lowering heart rate and
According to alarming reports by such as, statins and more. blood pressure.
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12 Womans Era July (First) 2017


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W
e all love to look at a
beautiful woman, talk about
her, wonder about her.
She's got it all right? The great job,
beautiful friends, a date every night,
men falling over themselves to be
noticed and doors being opened for
her both literally and figuratively.
Okay, let's face it. When we meet
someone new, the first impression is
about looks; only later do things such
as personality, brains and character
start to take on meaning. As Penelope
Lively said, "I'm intrigued by the way
in which physical appearance can
often direct a person's life; things

PERCEIVING
BEAUTY
Depends on ones outlook.
By Swetha Sundar
happen differently for a beautiful
woman than for a plain one."
Is beauty a universal standard? Or
is it in the eye of the beholder? The
word beautiful holds more meaning
to it than you would think. It could
mean you have a beautiful soul, or a
beautiful smile, or you are a drop-
dead gorgeous angel that fell from
the sky. The famous saying beauty
lies in the eyes of the beholder does
seem to reflect the enriched human
culture, nature and perceptions of
what beautiful is. While South
American, Latin and Spanish countries
give a lot of importance to physical
attributes while defining beauty,
Europeans attach a lot of importance
to fair skin and elegance, Indians view
beauty as having beautiful eyes, long
lustrous hair and fair skin (the
growing spate of fairness creams
is testimony to that) while in
countries such as Saudi Arabia,
whose dress codes do not
reveal more than the
womens eyes, women
tend to focus on
being attractive through their eyes. who is beautiful on the inside and out! your authentic intention instead of
Arab women also are fond of The ageing process is inevitable, and it being attached to the outcome.
enhancing their eyes with black kohl is futile to chase lost youth and, to Asking questionsespecially
to make them look more appealing some, perceived lost beauty. Do not why? and how?is always
and exotic. climb on that treadmill to nowhere of beautiful because curiosity is
Says psychologist Aruna Broota, crazy fad diets or magical face creams beautiful.
Ive studied the patterns my patients that claim will erase wrinkles. Instead, If you can string words together
(a group of about 20) show in their develop what I call a healthy vanity into a sentence, and youre brave
concept of beauty and compared routine by choosing a reasonable diet enough to let someone else read it,
them to each other and my own and and realistic exercise regimen. That thats beautiful.
have discovered that healthy is the combination will do wonders for your Flat stomachs are beautiful,
only common feature of beauty. No body and your self-esteem. Learn to absolutely, but big, soft bellies are
matter what the shape, colour, size, recognise and appreciate the beautiful, too. They are your babys
etc. of a persons features are, the beautiful qualities in yourself and first home!
impression of health given by hygiene others in every decade of life. Beauty It is beautiful to speak another
and skin care are the only does not lie in physical features alone. language. It is beautiful to try.
commonality. In the end, beauty is It's about the whole package: physical Beauty is putting paint on canvas,
definitely in the eye of the beholder, beauty, mental strength, warm or strumming a guitar, or capturing
sometimes even to the disgust of personality and personal a stunning moment in a picture, or
friends. presentation. dancing with your eyes closed.
Cancer survivor Anni Mehta says, So stop looking in the mirror and Creating is always beautiful.
The most beautiful people we have seeing the glass as half empty. Your eyes are beautiful. Nobody
known are those who have known Instead of looking for flaws, embrace else has eyes like yours. They are
defeat, known suffering, known your positive characteristics and deep and authentic and instantly
struggle, known loss, and have found figure out ways to enhance them. recognizable.
their way out of the depths. These Stop wishing for someone else's nose Beauty is being brave enough to
persons have an appreciation, or hair and fall in love with your own. embrace your feelings- the good,
sensitivity, and an understanding of A face can be structurally imperfect the bad, and the ugly.
life that fills them with compassion, but still beautiful.
gentleness, and a deep loving Intangibles make
concern. Beautiful people do not just a woman
happen. Beauty is this word that is beautiful, and
often thrown around conditionally. you must
Its another category that can recognise those
sometimes feel esoteric. To me, wonderful quirks
beauty is a celebration of everything that you possess
in our liveseven the stuff that we and be proud of
shove deep down in hopes of never them. Develop a
seeing that ugliness againits the beauty arsenal
organic substance that fuels our consisting of clothing
gorgeous smile, and breathtaking that fits well and enhances
laugh. Beauty in its rawness cant be your attributes. Create a solid
faked. hair-and-make-up routine, and
Unfortunately, we rely on beauty exercise to stay healthy and build
authorities quoted in the media to your confidence. Confidence is the
define beauty for us. The standards real secret here! A confident woman
and criteria of beauty set by the is a beautiful woman.
media have been manipulated and Beauty is everywhere! Just look
bastardised and are wrong, absurd around and feel and see beautiful in
and unrealistic. Our role models have all things small and inconsequential.
become 20-something starlets and Find that real beauty within you and
fashion models whose photographs keep it alive.
have been carefully orchestrated, You are beautiful when you are
airbrushed, photoshopped and afraid to do something, and you do
drastically altered. it anyway.
We must learn to interpret beauty Resilience and persistence are
as a package of physical and mental beautiful.
attributes that meld into a person Beauty is a daring action built on
Remember the time your best CANCER SURVIVOR to ask for help when you need it,
friend called you while she was no matter how successful you are.
crying because only your voice ANNI MEHTA SAYS, Beauty is loving your pet as much
could calm her down? That was THE MOST as they love you.
beautiful. Beauty is a fresh flower in your
Beauty is laughing so hard your BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WE hair.
stomach hurts and you glow from HAVE KNOWN ARE The physical remnants of our life
within. experiencesstretch marks, scars,
Beauty is not letting ignorance be THOSE WHO HAVE wrinkles, and sun spotsare
mistaken for truth. KNOWN DEFEAT, beautiful.
Beauty is calling someone out for Wisdom is beautiful.
saying something hurtful, even if KNOWN SUFFERING, Humility is beautiful.
you werent the one getting hurt. KNOWN STRUGGLE, Beauty is the sweaty satisfaction of
Your legs are beautiful. No, really. a hard workout- moving your body
They are. Admire the curve of your KNOWN LOSS, AND in the way it was meant to.
calves, the muscles in your thighs, HAVE FOUND THEIR It is beautiful to finally share your
the peaks and valleys of your knee. secrets and confide in someone.
Letting go of a toxic relationship? WAY OUT OF THE Beauty is the ability to see the
Ah, what a beautiful relief! DEPTHS. humour in the darker, sometimes
You are beautiful when you rock neglected parts of our life.
out so hard at a concert that your Beauty is being able to truly enjoy
neck is sore the next day. Beauty is telling a joke only you the food you eat.
Intelligence is beautiful. think is funny and laughing so hard It is beautiful to be grateful to all
Humour. There is nothing more nobody can hear the punchline. the strong people who came
beautiful than laughter. Walking away from a relationship before you: the ones who raised
Compassion is very, very beautiful. platonic or romantic because you you, the ones who fought for your
Beauty is wearing an outfit so know it is the only way to truly love rights, and the ones who were
fierce that when people them is to stop trying to change burned at the stake because they
compliment you on it, you accept it them, and let them be who they were too powerful.
gracefully and confidently. are. That is most beautiful. Giving birth is beautiful. Rebirth
Strong opinions are beautiful. Deep breaths are beautiful. as many times as necessary- is also
Respecting other peoples strong Listening is beautiful. Choosing to beautiful.
opinions is beautiful too. respond instead of react- even if Freedom is beautiful. You are free
Beauty is your hometown, whether you dont want to hear it- trusting to fill your life with the things that
you love it or hate it, because it that there is always something make you happy. You have a
helped shape you who you are. valuable in someone elses words. choice.
Your bare face in the Happiness is beautiful. Never be
morning is beautiful. Ask the ashamed of being happy.
people who love you. Its true. All in all, the truth is, true beauty is
The way our bodies tell the truth something that lasts with age, no
we blush when we are attracted to matter how many plastic surgeries or
someone, we blink twice when we Botox ops one may have to stay
lie, we get sick when were pushing young. All you need is a smile on your
our mental limitsis beautiful. face and no matter what corner of the
Having faith in someone elses world you travel to; you will be
word, because we know weve beautiful in the eyes of the beholders.
been true to our own. That is If your heart and mind is not young,
beautiful. you can never be beautiful forever.
Beauty is being comfortable And I am not saying that to just make
enough with someone else to be you feel better. Or am I? We
silent.
Beauty is being able to walk
gracefully in high heels. Live for today and not tomorrow,
Beauty is digging your bare feet Live for the now and whats here,
into the sand. Stop living for what maybe or what
Beauty is sitting very still with your may never come,
thoughts. Live for the day already here.
It is beautiful to find the strength
Sthoorryt
S
Its Called
Teenage Love
The crush that crushes. By Heera Nawaz
First time, first love, be so nervy. Take it easy. others without going
Oh, what a feeling is this? Cool down, said Maya overboard, said Maya, like
Electricity flows, practically. the good protective elder
With the very first kiss. Telling that to a 17-year- sister that she was.
old like me on the threshold But, Maya, teenage

R
anjit, you will be of adolescence is easier said years are all about extremes.
coming for the `Disco than done. You know how You know we have raging
Night dance party reticent, aloof and hormones working in
this evening, wont you? introverted I really am, said overdrive to colour our
Now, its high queried 18-year-old Maya to Ranjit. emotions and feelings in a
her younger brother, Ranjit. Now, its high time you really hyper way, said
time you emerged Ranjit, as usual, replied emerged from your self- Ranjit.
from your self- enthusiastically and with imposed shell and mix with Agreed, said Maya.
imposed shell and gusto, Of course, I will be Teenage years are very
mix with others coming as it will be my first Maya tumultuous and traumatic
dance party! You know, I am turned to leave since one is neither a child
without going already beginning to get but not before saying, who is wholly callow and
overboard, said butterflies in my stomach, Okay, Ranjit, be ready by immature nor is one a full-
and the proverbial goose 6 pm sharp for the dance fledged adult capable of
Maya, like the party as we will be going in our
flesh. taking staunch decisions
good protective Ranjit, you dont have to chauffeur-driven car. And
elder sister that remember just because this
is your first dance party,
she was. theres no need to
overdress.
head-on. As teenagers, we So the thing to kinds of paraphernalia. There written the following poem
have no clear-cut vision of a remember here, Ranjit, is to were pictures of Katy Perry, by Rudyard Kipling,
structured and appropriate remain grounded and not get Taylor Swift and Shakira If you can fill the
blueprint to behave as we too carried away by adorning the walls, all the unforgiving minute
should. In fact, it appears emotions and feelings, for singers looking like real eye- With 60 seconds of
that, as teenagers, we get one might reach what is candy. Then, since Ranjit was distance run,
the worst of both the called a pressure cooker a fitness freak and Yours is the Earth and
worlds. stage, ready to burst. enthusiast, there were everything thats in it,
Instead, one should strike a dumbbells and in one corner But what more, you will be

R anjit chipped in now,


Maya, you are spot on!
balance and be rational,
sensible and practical at all
of the room there was a
stationary exercise bike to
a man, my son!

In our teenage years, we are


expected to make far-
reaching, lifelong decisions
times, said Maya
conclusively.
Well said! exclaimed
keep himself in shape. Since
Ranjit had taken a fancy to
books, there were plenty of
R anjit was aware of the
fact that his parents had
pinned their hopes, dreams
on careers, family and Ranjit. books all around the place and aspirations on their only
friends all this when we written by authors like Robin son, and he should,
cant even make a decision
on what brand of soap we
want to buy!
M aya turned to leave but
not before saying,
Okay, Ranjit, be ready by 6
Cook, Franklin W. Dixon and
John Grisham.
How many times Maya
therefore, not let them
down. However, as Maya had
rightly pointed out,
And it doesnt help that pm sharp for the dance party and their parents had teenagers had unpredictable
our parents arent from Gen as we will be going in our admonished Ranjit to be emotions, temper tantrums
Y to empathise with us. They chauffeur-driven car. And organised and tidy, but their and mood swings due to the
really dont understand our remember just because this scolding fell on deaf ears, for hormones that prevail during
generation, as in their times is your first dance party, in our modern-day set-up, the adolescent phase.
they lived in a world without theres no need to overdress. finding an organised, tidy Ranjit was also aware of
i-pads, touch screen mobile Do the dressing as a and neat teenager is like the changes he was
phones, DVDs, video games, component of it. Remember, looking for a needle in the undergoing physically. His
Ninendos, Kindles and this is just a casual, informal proverbial haystack! voice had deepened and he
Facebook. However, we have dance party not a wedding Ranjit had turned 17 just had a fine growth of hair on
all these major distractions reception. last week and was his chin and upper lip. He had
and yet we are expected to So saying, It immeasurably grown three inches in one
score above 90 per cent in Maya retreated was filled with touched when year, and it was therefore not
our PUC examinations and to her room energetic, jostling his father surprising that his friends
Common Entrance Test. Else and Ranjit to bodies, swaying gifted him an had nicknamed him `Lambu.
rhythmically to the loud disco
we will be denied admission his. Ranjit music, with songs like Jennifer
authentic However, Ranjit was
into the competitive surveyed his Lopezs Waiting for Night, Parker pen aware that these changes
professional colleges. This, bedroom, Michael Jacksons Beat It and and a were palpable, acceptable
you know, is crucial, for which was Celine Dions My Heart Will birthday card and perhaps even bearable.
otherwise the rest of our strewn with all Go On, playing to the on which was What was not in his
lives will be bound in delight of the young jurisdiction of control was
shallows and miseries, as crowd. that he still lacked aplomb,
Shakespeare wrote in confidence and spunk in the
Julius Caesar, said Maya department of
quite dramatically. communication and public
Yes, Maya, we are relations. He could not
expected to do so for the life of him
well approach the
academically, opposite sex and
yet there are talk freely and
so many uninhibitedly.
distractions This could be
that it is almost because until Std X,
impossible to Ranjit had studied in an
concentrate and all-boys school. So the
remain repercussions were that
focused and he felt extremely
undauntedly awkward, embarrassed
determined. and tongue-tied in the
company of girls, particularly mortified and fearful than face and figure, which, Ranjit to show how smitten Ranjit
the pretty ones. He knew ever? You know I am not mused, could easily, like really was. It was obviously a
Maya, his elder sister, was good at facing rejection. Helen of Troy, launch a 1000 case of `First Love.
aware of this lacuna and she, Just as Ranjit was ships. In the days to come,
on her own, used to give him unburdening his fears to He had seen her before, Ranjits mind was working in
doses of confidence- Maya, Mohit, a tall, but never dancing and never overdrive and, as everyone
boosting pep talks. He was handsome and smartly this decked out. She had knows, if a teenage boy has a
aware that she wanted him turned out older teenager long, black straightened hair crush on a girl and really
to emerge from his shell and approached Maya. After that swung from side to side means it, even wild horses
mix freely with others. As she asking her, Care to join me as she danced. She had large cannot hold him back from
had said, By being shy and on the floor? he whisked her enchanting doe-like eyes, pursuing the girl in question.
lonely, you are losing so away to the dance floor, not subtly lined with eyeliner, After two days, Ranjit did his
much of what the beautiful entirely against her will. while her pink-painted lips own detective work (which
world has to offer. Ranjit sat alone surveying were smiling mysteriously. teenage boys are famous for)
the dance room. It was filled She was wearing a purple and reliably found out her

R anjit went to the


bathroom, took a quick
shower, dressed in a pair of
with energetic, jostling
bodies, swaying rhythmically
to the loud disco music, with
and black silk dress that was
gathered at her slim waist by
a gold-braided belt. In short,
address, her apartment not
being too far from his.
Starry-eyed and replete with
dark blue corduroy trousers songs like Jennifer Lopezs to the lovelorn Ranjit, she rosy dreams, Ranjit knew
and a light blue Louis Phillip Waiting for Night, Michael looked truly ravishing. He that he had thought and
shirt and bow tie. He sprayed had fallen in love with her fantasised enough now it
a whiff of eau-de-cologne, He sounded his hook, line and sinker! was time for action.
put on his black boots and, fears and Ranjit felt that he would
after having placed his smart
phone in his tight trouser
pocket, he was ready and
apprehensions to
Maya, Suppose I
not be doing justice to his
emotions if he asked some
other girl to dance while he
T he next morning, Ranjit
sauntered past Ritas
apartment on his way to
enthusiastic enough to take ask a girl to dance, certainly did not have the college. To his utter glee and
on the world. guts to ask her. So, as the delight, Rita was on the
and she says, `No.
Meanwhile, Maya had got minutes slipped past, he was balcony. Ranjit smiled at her
ready in a pretty pink flowing Wont that make almost in his own world, in a awkwardly and she smiled
gown. They got inside their me more mortified trance. He was shaken rudely back. Actually, to a more
Hyundai car and within short and fearful than out of it when Maya tapped objective-minded person, it
span of 15 minutes, they him on his shoulder, saying, would seem to have been
arrived at the Cosmopolitan ever? You know I Its 10 oclock time to head more of a supercilious smirk,
Club, the venue for the dance am not good at home. When he didnt reply but to the lovelorn, obsessed
party. Once inside, with the facing rejection. immediately, she followed and infatuated Ranjit, it was
bright lights, loud disco his gaze and said, Oh, you a smile all right.
music and the sea of people, Jacksons Beat It and Celine seem to be really hung up on He was thrilled and
Ranjits bravado seemed to Dions My Heart Will Go On, Rita, arent you? euphoric, as he started to
have melted like ice, for playing to the delight of the Ranjit blushed as he daydream that perhaps his
again he had become his young crowd. The timeless hadnt realised that his feelings for Rita were
usual diffident and nervy self. music from the DJs console staring, had been so obvious. reciprocated, and that was
The reason was, although he catered to the wild fancies why she had smiled back.
knew that he had the upper
hand, he didnt take the
initiative in almost all cases.
and fantasies of teenagers
who jived to the tunes, as the
moving lights kept changing
O nce back home, Maya
and Ranjit joined their
parents for a quick dinner.
The next day, Ranjit did
some more detective work
and he got her mobile
In dances, the guy or male in colours. All around, one Then it was time for bed. number. In the evening, with
question asks the girl to could see lively, animated Ranjit still under Ritas his heart beating chaotically,
dance and not the other faces of enthusiastic bewitching spell, all that he he dialled her number,
way around. Now Ranjit was teenagers. could think of was Rita, Rita, mustering up the courage to
jittery when the ball was in While Ranjit, looking Rita! That night he had a speak to her what his heart
his court, as he had no guts every bit as a reclusive wall strange dream Rita had had rehearsed so many times
to return it. flower, was listlessly turned into supergirl while he before. Finally, he got in
He sounded his fears and drumming his hand on the had turned into spiderman touch with her and heard her
apprehensions to Maya, chair to the beat of the and both of them were flying saying, Hello.
Suppose I ask a girl to music, he spotted her. She towards each other. As He blabbered nervously,
dance, and she says, `No. was a teenage girl with the absurd and preposterous as Rita, this is Ranjit. Would
Wont that make me more most beautiful, awesome dreams can be, it only went you come with me for a

20 Womans Era July (First) 2017


movie The Theory of bloated face glowered with strategy, Do you realise that you this without hurting you,
Everything? contempt and angst. shes my age, which means but I have to call a spade a
Rita was, flabbergasted. Ranjit arrived home that shes older than you? spade. Rita is not infatuated
She said in a very surprised singing the song, Tum Hi Ho So what? Since when with you. She will be coming
tone, Well... from Aashiqui-2, trying to does true love have an age tomorrow morning to return
Nervous and dreading emulate Arijit Singhs pining, factor? Didnt Ashton the placard which she told
rejection from his first grave voice. Kutcher fall madly in love me you gave her.
attempt at dating, Ranjit with Demi Moore even What! cried Ranjit hurt.
quickly mumbled, Its okay.
Ill pick you up at 3 pm
tomorrow. Bye for now. He
R anjit rang the doorbell
and Maya answered it.
Maya looked at Ranjit and
though she was older than
him?
And how long did that
Maya looked at her dear,
vulnerable and lovable
brother, a person who was a
disconnected the call, said slowly, Ranjit, I want to relationship last? continued really nice guy at heart. Not
breathing heavily. talk to you. Its about Rita. Maya in the same patient at all one to cheat and hurt
Sunday, dawned bright What about Rita? asked tone. others, he was always
and clear. The morning with Ranjit, sharply. Though he Well, closer home, generous and sensitive to a
its rush of newspaper had pretended to be flippant, theres Abhishek Bachchan fault. She loved him dearly
reading and household her name had made the who fell for the older and knew the gentlemanly
chores quickly passed. At 2 colour rise to his cheeks and Aishwarya Rai. That worked qualities he had. She said
pm, Ranjit got ready in a he was trembling. beautifully, didnt it? said softly, Ranjit, its partly my
black tuxedo suit and, Ranjit, lets get straight Ranjit in defence of his fault. I saw how smitten you
without informing his family to the point: do you like argument. were by Rita, so I asked her
members, made his way to her? asked Maya. Maya knew she must to smile at you when you
Ritas apartment. No, `like is too small a remain patient. She said, passed her apartment.
He was happy but word. I love her, answered The point that Im trying to And
nervous. Ranjit was the Ranjit defiantly. make is that, in any And what? shouted
perfect chaperone who Have you found out relationship, both sides Ranjit angrily, his voice rising
escorted Rita to the theatre whether she loves you? should reciprocate and to a crescendo, its tone
with utmost chivalry and countered Maya. acknowledge each others showing that he was hurt.
civility. He even had the Ranjits face looked feelings and emotions. Soon after you phoned
thoughtfulness to buy her a paradoxical, I dont really I dont know how to tell her up and asked her to go
gift, a simple placard, on know, but since I love her so with you for the movie, she
which was written, `First much, I can make her fall phoned me up saying that
She
Time, First Love. He gave it for me, cant? smiled so sweetly she didnt want to go with
to her in the theatre. The Maya tried another and said, Hi! Im Priya, you since she doesnt know
biopic movie, he thought, Ritas younger sister. I just you, but I persuaded her to
was apt to show his deep wanted to know whether I could go with you since I knew that
love as it was about the have this placard, which you gave if she says no to you, you
outstanding Stephen my sister. You see, I used to see would be totally
you passing our apartment and
Hawking and the story of his heartbroken.
I think she giggled at this
life and love. Though the

T
point that Ive a crush
award-winning movie was on you. he realisation sunk in.
authentic and had layers of Ranjit stood up now. His
meaning, Ranjit was more eyes were bloodshot and
concerned about making his burning with a fire-like
first date successful. intensity, as he shouted
At the end of the movie, angrily, You mean you asked
Ranjit escorted Rita back Rita to flirt with me? My own
home. The whole time Ranjit sister making a fool of me?
had been eager to please Maya said gently, I just
Rita and so had, not really wanted to make you happy
observed her reactions to his as I could see how much,
overtures. Indeed, if he had, how sincerely and how
he would have been deeply genuinely you loved her. I
chagrined, for Rita, though a knew it was definitely not
beautiful girl, was far from a lust, for you are not at all a
congenial person. She was rascal, like some of those
haughty, conceited and had good-for-nothing teenage
no humility whatsoever. Her boys.
I could see that you truly said, to return the placard, this placard, which you gave looked at each other and
cared for her, for her feelings which was the ultimate form my sister. You see, I used to burst out laughing.
and that you liked her in a of rejection. She really knew see you passing our
very pure and genuine way.
Tears welled up in Mayas
how to nail it. apartment and I think she
giggled at this point that I S weet Sixteen Priya and
`Sturdy Seventeen Ranjit
eyes over the plight of her
beloved brother and his
badly bruised feelings in a
R anjit opened the door
and got the shock of his
life. There at the door was a
have a crush on you.
Ranjit looked at this
sweet, vulnerable and
became good friends from
that day onwards. Ranjit felt
really great when he
situation indirectly brought girl who was the living image empathetic girl, who was so escorted her to dance parties
about by her. of Rita, except that she was a beautiful and who not only and asked her to join him on
You and your concern younger version. She had the had outer beauty, but inner the floor. Ranjit had gone
and good intentions! How same long black hair, beauty as well. She looked through some pretty tough
could you have done this to enchanting doe-like eyes and like a nice, well-brought-up `growing-up pains but, in
me? I hate you, I hate you! mysteriously smiling lips. and polished teenage girl the end, he had emerged
shouted Ranjit angrily, as he Thats where the that it was impossible not to from them stronger, more
left the room, banging the resemblance ended. For this like her. resilient and more resolute.
door behind him. girl did not have the Ranjit looked at her and He truly felt upbeat and a
The next morning, at 9 conceited, haughty and said, You know something? true go-getter as he had
oclock sharp, the doorbell arrogant look of Rita. Instead I think Ive a crush on you, entered a new phase of his
buzzed. Ranjit had had a very she was simple, humble and too! life, along with his beautiful,
disturbed sleep as he had decorous. Priya narrowed her eyes charming and extremely nice
tossed and turned in bed She smiled so sweetly and suspiciously and asked, To `First Love. We
wondering how he could face said, Hi! Im Priya, Ritas what end?
Rita in the morning. She younger sister. I just wanted To a beginning I think being in love with
would come, as Maya had to know whether I could have quipped Ranjit, as they both life is a key to eternal youth.

My baby was my flesh and blood


And I took care of her
As if she was my 'extended body'.

I was a little upset when she joined college

Attachment
Staying in a hostel, for further studies
And more so when I got her married.

in
I invited her to visit me often
As I was emotionally unstable
And realised that her priorities have changed.

Detachment
Her love for her husband and in-laws
knew no bounds
And I took a seat behind them.

She visited me occasionally


And longed to get back to'her' home
To continue her routine duties.

Seeing this detachment of hers,


My body and mind ached ;
Without proper food and sleep
I suffered from depression
And needed counselling.

And vow! Now I've realised that


I 'should'change from
Attachment to detachment
And that's life after all.
Preetha Rengaswamy.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 23


I have very thick ankles which make me reluctant to wear but many swear by them. You can give these a try and see if it
pretty footwear and draw attention to them. Is there any way helps.
I can deal with these? I am a well-built but not obese 30-year- Soak 2 tbsp of fenugreek seeds overnight; grind to a paste
old woman. and apply on breasts for 10 minutes. Wash off. Do this daily for
Fat and thick ankles, called cankles by some people are at least 2 weeks for a result, if any!
caused by many reasons: genetic predisposition, obesity, fluid Some women think that well-beaten white of egg mixed
retention, or pregnancy, for example. Treatment is planned with onion juice can be applied on the breasts for 20 to 2
according to the appropriate causes. minutes daily to shrink their size. Again, this claim is not
Exercise like power walking, jogging, skipping,etc, will help scientifically authenticated.
to tone down ankle fat.
If water retention is the culprit, consult a dietician to sort I am a 22-year-old college girl who loves wearing sneakers.
out your diets. Cut down on salt and salty foods; drink a lot of The problem is that my feet become very smelly. Please tell
water. me how to deal with this odour issue.
If you are overweight, losing weight will help take the It is very important to keep your feet absolutely clean.
stress on the ankles and encourage thinning. Wash with medicated soap, not neglecting the parts between
A drastic method is surgery ankle liposuction, an toes. Pat-dry and use talcum powder before you slip on
outpatient procedure, but there are some risks involved. footwear.
Wear footwear which will hide the thick ankles as much as Feet odour can be reduced by soaking feet in a basin of
possible. water containing vinegar. You can also use rock salt in the
foot bath to fight bacteria and smells.
My fingernails are just fine, but the cuticles are ragged and Anti-fungal oils like tea tree oil, aloe vera cream and tulsi
uneven. This spoils the attractiveness of my hands. Please tell water can also keep your feet smelling good.
me how I mend this problem and what causes it. I am an 18- Keep your footwear clean and hydrated. Wash whenever
year-old college girl. possible, and air in sun.
Damaged cuticles can be easily treated with some diligent Avoid spicy foods, garlic and alcohol which cause smelly

Q
care. Dry, torn, peeling or ragged cuticles are usually caused perspiration.
by the nail-biting habit. Sometimes, a manicure done by
inexpert beauticians can also result

A
in damaged cuticles. Again, if your

&
hands are exposed to harsh
chemicals in dishwashing soaps, in
gardening, washing clothes, etc, the
cuticles tend to soften and peel. Beauty
Nail-polish removers containing
acetone also bruise the nailbeds and
Queries
cuticles.
Massage in petroleum jelly into your nails at nights, giving My eyebrows have very few
special attention to the nailbeds and cuticle. Pull on some old hairs, and I long to have thick
cotton gloves or socks on the hands . luscious brows. Is there any way I can fulfil
Dip your fingers in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes my wish? I am 17 years old and just out of
to soften the nails and then massage in olive oil firmly into school.
the nails and cuticles. Jajoba oil, avocado oil or tea tree oil The nature of brows, like so many other things, is
are also very effective. determined mostly by hereditary factors.
Cuticle cream available over the counter can also be used You would have perhaps seen that sparse brows run in the
for your problem. family?
Many parlours offer the hot wax treatment for split nails Castor oil works wonders on stimulating hair growth. Apply
and ragged cuticles, which you can avail of. a little bit on the brows daily and firmly massage into the skin
at night. In the daytime, this could make your face look messy.
I have heavy breasts which cause me some embarrassment. I So, avoid daytime use.
have heard that there are some home remedies to decrease Use a matte eyebrow powder to fill in the empty areas
bust size. Can you please enlighten me? between brow hairs. This should match the natural colour
The easiest way of decreasing breasts size is by losing closely, so that it does not stand out. Use a very light hand
weight, and, of course, cosmetic surgery. Drink green tea, when doing this.
ginger-turmeric tea and neem leaves extract with honey to A more permanent solution is to tattoo in some
lessen weight. extrahairs. Done under the hands of an expert tattooist, it
Always wear carefully-chosen supporting bras which will creates a very natural and lush look in the brows.
give your bosom a neat, contained appearance. Retouching may be required but only after a couple of
The home remedies you mention are not authenticated, years or so.

24 Womans Era July (First) 2017


PARENTS OF
SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN
DO THIS
Ways to help your child get ahead. By Lesley D. Biswas

A
s parents we all wish we had a academic excellence. In todays
route map that would competitive world, a good result is
guarantee our child a considered the only way a child can
successful future. Every parent wants get ahead of others. It will surprise
their child to excel in life, be a well- you that besides academic excellence
groomed and honest adult. There there are certain other skills research
might not be a definite formula to identifies that a childs successful
actualise this wish, but we have future depends upon. Studies have
enough scientific evidence to also cautioned of overenthusiastic
believe that parents and their parenting and how unsuspectingly we
parenting ways have a profound might be doing our children a huge
impact on how successful their disfavour. Here is find out what you
children turn out. should and what you shouldnt do as a
Most parents are obsessed with parent.
Household chores Social competency reinforcing them since these skills the
Gone are the days when children Not just chores in our attempt to study claims prepares them to be
helped around the house, took out make our children academically successful in the future. The link
the garbage, watered the garden and perfect, there is a high possibility we between how the childs future plans
learnt how to rustle up a quick as parents might have overlooked the out, the success and well-being, to the
breakfast. With children already importance of development of our extent that those children who were
strapped with academic and extra- childs social and emotional skills as weak at them were more likely to
curricular activities, not to forget well. A sensitive child adjusts well, acquire bad habits including
tuitions, the concept of doing empathises with others and has substance abuse is also corroborated
household chores more specifically problem-solving abilities which are by another study published in the
helping out in the family is taught as early as kindergarten American Journal of Public Health. So,
considered a waste of time. according to research by Pennsylvania think twice before turning down your
Convenient for children who are State University and Duke University childs opportunity to volunteer or to
absolved of work, parents further is considered socially competent and participate in group activities.
compound the situation by waiting on parents do them a huge favour by
their children. Importance of sleep
Recently, while standing outside
the school gate awaiting my daughter
BEFORE YOU PUSH YOUR Before you push your child to
study late hours or put in that extra
I couldnt but help eavesdrop when I CHILD TO STUDY LATE study early morning cutting back on
heard the word chores, and, more HOURS OR PUT IN THAT their sleep schedule, be warned that
interestingly, kids doing chore. No research shows sleep-deprived
way is my child wasting time on filling EXTRA STUDY EARLY children are less attentive, are slow to
water or walking our dog, one MORNING CUTTING BACK learn and lack focus, compared to
mother shrieked, quickly to add, children who sleep their required
Exams are just a month away. When
ON THEIR SLEEP hours. Sleep shouldnt be viewed as a
Rohan sits for a job interview, they SCHEDULE, BE WARNED waste of your childs time. Instead,
arent bothered if he cant make an THAT RESEARCH SHOWS with some effective time-
omelette or doesnt make his bed. I management tricks help your child
make sure when hes studying, he SLEEP-DEPRIVED make the optimum use of waking
doesnt even have to get up for a CHILDREN ARE LESS hours. You can allow your child the
glass of water. ATTENTIVE, ARE SLOW TO much-needed and age-appropriate
Its ironic how today, parents rest their brain and body require.
encourage children to skip chores LEARN AND LACK FOCUS.
hoping kids spend more time on
things that will guarantee success,
when its a proven fact that
household chores in many ways help
children to be successful adults,
explains author of Raising Can-Do Kids
and development psychologist
Richard Rend in an article published in
The Wall Street Journal website
wsj.com. The next time you cite
academics as an excuse for your child
skipping household chores, remember
chores teach children responsibility
and how work is an integral part of
life according to James Sears, the co-
authors of the book Fathers First
Steps: 25 Things Every Dad Should
Know.
Overbearing parents self-confidence. In their capacity as forced by their parents into doing
Parents are petrified at the parents, all parents need to do is things they arent passionate about.
thought of peer pressure negatively guide, spell out the dangers, explain This, research says, obstructs a child
impacting their childs future. What if the consequences and implications from finding his or her autonomy.
we overbearing parents are more and allow children to make decisions.
impactful on a childs future? Yes, as a Self-discipline
parent you too could negatively Pushy parents Self-discipline has many rewards,
impact your childs future in ways you How often do you hear parents success being the surest and sweetest
would never imagine. Like, if you do say, I want my child to this, or of them all. A self-disciplined child
not allow your child the liberty to that? And how seldom is it their sets goals and will stick to them. They
make small decisions and always point child wants to do? It isnt uncommon are less likely to procrastinate and
out to them choices which would for parents to try and fulfil their remain focused in life to become
make their lives comfortable. And, the dreams through their children and a adults whom subordinates respect
moment you see your child struggle, study which appeared in Public Library and superiors praise. They learn to
you rush to their aid. If both your of Science ONE journal warned about control their anger, to follow
answers are an affirmative, you not the downside of such parents who directions, that they will be corrected
only deny your child a chance to learn transfer their unfulfilled ambitions on when they are wrong and there are
decision- making skill which according the childrens shoulders. It explains some family rules that they must
to Psychology Today is crucial for why sometimes unwilling children are abide by even though its not their
first preference. In doing so, parents
hand their children valuable lessons
that will stand them in good stead as
adults when life throws challenges
their way.

Relationship between parents


There is a lot beyond studies that
determines how your child turns out.
We are well aware of the far-reaching
implications a parents relationship
bears on the child. Happily-married
couples lead to emotionally sound
children. Cardyn Pape Cowan and
Philip Cowan the psychologists couple
at the University of California
correlate this fact when they say that
parents relationships with each other
and their own childhood experiences
contribute tremendously to how
healthy children grow up emotionally,
academically and socially. The home
children in order to grow up well-
rounded adults; in a world that isnt
ITS NATURAL AS A must be an emotionally healthy place
for children to learn how to be in a
their comfort zone, you snatch from PARENT TO WANT TO relationship to be able to forge their
them an important opportunity to CUSHION YOUR CHILD own successful relationships in the
validate their choices. future, which is also a part of being a
Its natural as a parent to want to AGAINST THE DANGER OF successful adult.
cushion your child against the danger FAILING, BUT A PARENTS And, most of all, as parents we can
of failing, but a parents job is to teach JOB IS TO TEACH THEM be role models whom our children can
them to fly, not stop them from look up to when they need inspiration,
discovering their wings. Children must TO FLY, NOT STOP THEM fall back on when they require
be allowed to regulate their FROM DISCOVERING support and share their successes
behaviour and hone decision-making with when they are happy. We
abilities and constant control by
THEIR WINGS. CHILDREN
overbearing parenting, Dr J. Brien MUST BE ALLOWED TO
OCallaghan of Balanced Parenting Never have regrets because at one
REGULATE THEIR point everything you did in life was
says, results in lifelong psychological
damage. Children grow up lacking in BEHAVIOUR. exactly what you wanted.

28 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Top-paid celebrity

Boycott fizzles out


Once Spotify's most
visible critic, pop
superstar Taylor Swift
on 9 June returned her
music to all streaming
services as the Singer Beyonce with her Grammy trophies is seen in the press room
number of artists during the 59th Annual Grammy music Awards in Los Angeles,
to boycott the California. Rapper Diddy was the world's top-paid celebrity in the
booming format past year, earning $130 million in the past 12 months, Forbes said in
dwindled. All of its annual list on 12 June.
the 27-year-old
singer's music
including Performers with the 'Arcadia Spectacular' display are
"1989," her suspended high above the ground as they take part in a
blockbuster rehearsal at the Glastonbury Festival of Music and Performing
last album, Arts on Worthy Farm near the village of Pilton in Somerset,
appeared on South West England, on 23 June.
Spotify and
other
platforms at
midnight
(0400 GMT)
on the US
East Coast.

Suspended performance
Benefit concert
Jesy Nelson, Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and
Jade Thirlwall of Little Mix perform at the One Love
Manchester benefit concert for the families of the
victims of the 22 May, Manchester terror attack, at
Glenn brown painting displayed

Emirates Old Trafford in Greater Manchester on 4 June.

A painting by British painter and sculptor Glenn Brown is


displayed at Gagosian gallery during the preview day of Art Basel
the world's premier modern and contemporary art fair on 13
June in Basel. Art Basel was held from June 15 to 18 in Basel.

An interaction with parrots


Record-breaking pizza

Leila Khauliani, on vacation from Russia, interacts


with parrots at Jungle Island as Florida Governor
Rick Scott announced that the number of tourists
visiting the state had greatly increased.

Volunteers spread cheese onto the pizza


base as they successfully break the
Guinness World Records title for Longest
pizza with a length of 1.32 miles (2.13km) at
the Auto Club Speedway track, in Fontana,
California on 10 June.
Sthoorryt
S
The Uninvited
Guest It changed Anushs outlook. By Arnav Garg

W
hy don't you go was time to study anatomy. I've brought some
out for a walk, Mihir, his best friend in admission forms for
Anush? The school, had got a medical colleges. He should look at
weather is so lovely," Sarita seat and kept him updated them and start preparing for
Chauhan told her son on the textbooks and the entrances again or find
casually, keep with no trace journals that all first-year something else to do," he
of worry in her voice. Anush medical students were heard his father say.
hadn't stepped out of the expected to read. Anush had

A
He was awakened house for more than a year made a promise to himself nush smiled grimly to
at midnight by now. His skin had turned that he would study as much himself. How ignorant
constant cries, so pale and sallow; his eyes as, if not more than Mihir. It his father was. He didn't
were sunken and he had put didn't matter, he consoled realise that he studied more
he put a pillow on almost 10 kg this past himself, that he didn't get a at home and was getting a
over his head and year. All he did every day medical seat in any of the better education at home
tried to sleep but was read medical thrillers in colleges that he had applied than he was at medical
sleep wouldn't the morning, watch to. If he read the textbooks school. There was no way he
surgeries on the Internet on diligently he would be as up was applying to medical
come. He lay his computer in the to date as all the other first colleges again.
awake like that all afternoon and study his year students. "Maybe, we should take
night, hearing the medical books from He read for a few hours him to a doctor, Vish. I'm
lunchtime till late into the and then went online to getting really worried about
sorrowful yelps night. watch an appendectomy him. He looks depressed to
and to his surprise Anush pretended he surgery. By the time he was me, said his mother while
he felt tears hadn't heard his mother. It done with his studies, it was stirring a pot.
was four in the evening. It dinner time. He switched off Anush froze at the
sliding down his his laptop and made his way mention of going to a
cheeks. to the dining table. His doctor. His parents thought
He mother and father were he was depressed. They
opened the window talking quietly in the couldn't have been more
that was always tighly
kitchen. wrong. He had never been
shut to prevent the dust from
coming in. The yelping got
"How long am I going so focused on his life and
louder. He looked down and found to be stuck in this had never felt more
nothing. Thinking it was his room of his? productive. He went into the
imagination, he started closing the He has to kitchen and both his parents
window. That's when he saw it. It get out. smiled at him with an
was a tiny little thing and it insanely-bright smile that
trembled piteously on the didn't quite hide the worry
parapet near his in their eyes.
window. His mother gave him the
plates to set on the table
while his father settled
down at his usual place.
Mercifully for Anush, dinner
was over soon enough and
he thankfully made his way
back to his room. He knew
he looked weird to other
people, but he was
convinced that he was and to his surprise he felt couldn't. He could bear it no him, stood on its hind legs
perfectly fine. His room was tears sliding down his more. He banged the and begged to be picked up.
his safe haven a place cheeks. He tried to imagine window shut and made his When he obliged, it licked
where he could be how the puppy must feel, all way to the living room. He his face enthusiatically. It
completely himself and alone in the cold, dark night made it up to the front door, had obviously forgotten all
mould himself into the without his mother and but then a wave of nausea about the previous night's
person he wanted to be siblings to keep him warm. and panic gripped him. He trauma and was delighted
without judgement. It It reminded him of the went and sat on the sofa, by its new environment,
represented all the things school he had just perspiration bending his running about and
that were perfect in his life graduated from. How brow. Could he really make showering ecstatic gratitude
his laptop, his cellphone, his comfortable he had been it in the outside world? like only a puppy could.
music system, his bed, even there, warm and much loved Could he take that step? Anush set it down and gave
the sheets and pillows, by his teachers and Was he really thinking of it a bowl of milk and bread
everything had been classmates. Now, he was stepping outside the house? that it attacked with the
acquired and programmed out in the cruel, adult world same gusto. He went into
to suit his goals and tastes.
He knew every inch of this
room and every hum, whirr
with no one looking after his
best interests. Both, the
puppy and he, had been
H e thought about the
little puppy that had
given up on getting back to
his bedroom and looked up
the care of dogs on a pet-
care website. He made a list
and clink was familiar to pushed into a world of his mother and something of all the vaccinations
him. stirred inside him. He went required, not questioning
His pride was up to the door, opened it why he was making long-

T hat was why, when he


was getting ready for
bed, he knew something
short-lived, though.
He could still hear
and stepped outside. It was
just morning, but the
sunlight felt harsh to his
term plans about a puppy he
had known for only a few
hours. When he went back
was not quite right. An odd the puppy whining eyes that had become to the kitchen, his mother
yelping sound struck a on the doorstep. accustomed to indoor was making herself coffee
discordant note in the lighting and diffused and eyeing the puppy.
otherwise silent and sterile The sound made sunlight. "What is that doing
room. He looked under the him shudder. It He took the ladder out of here?" she asked.
bed and behind the curtains. struck a nerve in the toolshed and climbed to "It's lost. We need to take
It appeared to be coming the parapet and picked up it to Blue Cross or some
from somewhere outside
him in the same the puppy, settling it gently other animal place."
the window. He opened the way that scratching on the ground when he "Uh-uh. Not we. You. I'm
window that was always a blackboard climbed down. Relieved not taking responsibility for
tighly shut to prevent the sometimes did. now that the puppy was this dog. You invited it in.
dust from coming in. The safe, he went inside the You do what needs to be
yelping got louder. He expectation and house and collapsed on the done. I have to go to work,"
looked down and found competition without a soft sofa. For someone who said his mother and went
nothing. Thinking it was his place to land on. hadn't stepped out of the back to her room to change.
imagination, he started He held the pillow over house for a whole year,
closing the window. That's
when he saw it. It was a tiny
little thing and it trembled
his ears and willed himself
to sleep. He slipped into a
restless, uneasy sleep.
today was a big
achievement.
His pride was short-lived,
A n hour later, Anush
stepped nervously
outside his frontyard with
piteously on the parapet When he woke up again, it though. He could still hear Breezer under his arm. He
near his window. was early in the morning. the puppy whining on the didn't know why he had
A puppy, he thought with The cries had died and he doorstep. The sound made named the puppy Breezer,
disdain. Assuming that if it sighed with relief. He went him shudder. It struck a but the name seemed apt. It
got on the parapet, it could up to the window to look nerve in him in the same kept flying around the
also get down by itself, he out. His heart sank when he way that scratching a house as quick as the
closed the window and went saw the puppy. It was still on blackboard sometimes did. breeze. The sun shone
to bed. the parapet with its eyes The sound magnified and brightly and he squinted
He was awakened at half closed in fatigue. Its echoed inside his head till he against the harsh glare. He
midnight by constant cries, whole demeanour now was thought he would go crazy. clutched the dog closer and
so he put a pillow over his one of resignation and He opened the door and tried to flag down an auto.
head and tried to sleep, but failure. took the dog in. It bounded In minutes, an auto stopped
sleep wouldn't come. He lay He opened the window inside joyfully, taking in the next to him. For a moment
awake like that all night, again and tried to reach the sights and smells of the his mind went blank. "Road
hearing the sorrowful yelps puppy with his hands but house. Finally, it ran back to number 78," he stammered,

Womans Era July (First) 2017 33


feeling like he had just the left?" he asked the auto forms and waited for the sun shining and Breezer
awakened from a deep driver. familiar ache to invade his licking his face. He had been
slumber. An hour later, he was body whenever he thought afraid but he had conquered
It was an uneventful ride back home with Breezer about how much hard work his fear. He felt exhilarated
to the animal shelter, but prancing around his feet. he had put in to take the and wanted to feel that way
Breezer stuck his head out They had visited the vet and entrance exams. He had again. Breezer had
and enjoyed the rushing Breezer had got all the been preparing for the forgotten his problems and
breeze with his tongue necessary vaccinations and exams for almost two years. was enjoying his exciting
hanging out. Its enjoyment check-ups. It was time for That was two years of his new world. Anush knew it
was infectious and Anush him to study, but he didn't life that had been totally was time for him to find his
laughed with the same joy. feel like studying. Breezer wasted; three years, exciting new world too. We
He turned Breezer to face had found a new home. actually, if he included the
him and the puppy licked his He bent down to pat year he had spent
face sloppily. Suddenly, it Breezer and his eyes fell on imprisoned in his room. The
was very clear to Anush the admission forms that his pain didnt come. The life you live is more
what he should do. "Can you father had brought the last All he could remember important than the
take a U-turn and stop at night. He picked up the was the auto ride with the words you speak.

R
elationship is one of the most not be taken for granted. There may
celebrated words that one can be times when telling the truth may
think of. It is also one of the not seem to be the best option, but
most complicated things to maintain. then there is always something called
While everyone tries to have a the white lie. Now, this is not
relationship, most forget to maintain something that one must resort to all

7
it in the long run. Here are some the times, but it can be helpful when
major pointers to keep in mind to the lie is harmless.
lead a healthy relationship.
Equality for a non-polarised
Trust is mandatory relationship
This is a term which one can find Maintaining same rules for both
in each and every relationship article partners helps in keeping a check on
but despite it, many fail to maintain the polarization of a relationship. A
trust in their significant other. one-sided relationship decays
Doubting one another can, overtime and it becomes painful for
after a while, actually corrode a the person who is putting in more
relationship and this only makes it efforts.

Essentials
worse.
Similarities need to be there
Communication needs to Even though the belief of
happen to and fro opposites attract is true, two people
A good relationship works on the must have common and shared
networks of a good communication. interests to be with one another.
Opening to one another can not only Having similar views on finances, for
make you feel better but also helps to For a healthy long-term example, is very crucial as many
keep the other person on the same
page. If a couple does not
relationship. arguments in the long run are based
on money issues and this can be a
communicate properly they will By Sanjana Saini very bad subject to ignore.
end up in a misunderstandings which
will further result in failed any effort is a baseless calculation Privacy and space matter
relationship. which must be erased. It is not possible that two
individuals (be them friends,
Respect after love Honesty is not an option family, or lovers) share each and
This comes from the love one has but a necessity everything all the time with one
for the other. Respect is a It is truly the best policy and it another. Although good
consequence of love. It is earned, not stands even in the case of a communication is mandatory, but
given. So, expecting someone to relationship. Being true to your better some personal space for the
respect you without actually putting half is an essential element and must individuals is also a must. We

34 Womans Era July (First) 2017


MONSOON SPECIAL

12 CARE TIPS GARDEN Making better use of the


rainfall. By Lesley D. Biswas

temporary shelter to shield delicate


outdoor plants and saplings which
might not tolerate heavy downpour.
Use collected rainwater to water
when heavy rain makes it difficult for
plants to be taken out into direct rain.
There is also a chance of strong
wind and occasional hail which can
play havoc with your garden,
especially to new leaves and buds.

W
hat might seem to be a very Wind barriers like a natural hedge
happy season for your around your garden or a temporary
garden, the monsoon shelter like a tarpaulin which you can
season given that the plants get remove once the wind or hail
naturally watered and growth is subsides, will save your garden to a Before the end of the monsoon
prolific its also a time when your great extent. replenish the soil and fertilise it to
plants are the most vulnerable and If the lower leaves of your ensure the nutrient content in the soil
need special care. Here are some tips plants turn yellowish and begin to wilt does not get leached out during the
that will help your garden not only despite the soil appearing moist, its a rains.
cope with the rains but also thrive. sign that the roots are waterlogged. Pruning before the onset of the
Since we notice a spontaneous This happens either when your plants monsoon ensures that new shoots
growth in plants during the rains we receive too much water or the sprout with the rains.
tend to want to fill our garden with drainage is inappropriate. Since the spells of sunlight are
new plants this season. Not all plants Clay pots are better suited for scattered during the monsoon make
do well during the monsoon and, plants, especially during the monsoon sure your indoor plants get sufficient
although ferns, palms and foliage since they allow free oxygen to doses of sun each day. If your pots are
plants tend to thrive, avoid investing penetrate through the sides of the positioned to receive the morning
in cacti, succulents and most pot and the soil to facilitate the roots sunlight, you will have to shift them
flowering plants except the monsoon respiration and also permit excess around to ensure they get the most of
varieties. water to evaporate. sunlight, be it morning, noon or
The reason why plants tend to To avoid over-watering, make evening.
do better during the rains is that sure the soil is well dried out before If there is one thing more
rainwater being non-chlorinated watering. Since there is a lot of charming than the pitter-patter of
serves them well. While your outdoor moisture in the atmosphere, even if raindrops its got to be the songs of
plants enjoy the rains unobstructed, top soil appears dry, do not rush to the frogs. Even in cities, if a proper
make sure you allow your house water plants. Test to see if inner place is provided to them, you can
plants an occasional outing in the rain layers are moist, only then water if hear them sing. To invite frogs over to
too. A rain-shower not only completely dried out. Also, ensure soil your garden keep a small body of
rejuvenates them it also cleans the is well drained and no water water where these creatures could
leaves of grime and dust and ensures stagnation occurs. live. Fountains and flower pots with
pores are opened, encouraging better Cacti and succulents need extra water are great frog shelters. Frogs
growth. attention since their water also eat insects and protect your
Plants also stand a chance of requirements are a lot different from garden plants from pests, especially
getting damaged by direct heavy other flowering and foliage plants. during the monsoon. We
rainfall and breaking due to water Keep them away from direct rain and
logging. Keep potted plants out in water only when the soil is completely And last, but not least; when you do
light showers only and use a shed or dry, preferably after a week or 10 days. something, do it well.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 35


R
agini, a software engineer in a mutual fund company, only 18 per
multinational company, settled cent of single, working women make
down very comfortably in her their own investment decisions while
sofa, started to calculate how much nearly 77 per cent of the working
she had managed to invest for the women absolutely depend upon their
future of her family and herself over spouses, parents and other reliable
the last 12 months of her job. But relatives. In yet another survey it has
unfortunately she could not move been revealed that 92 per cent of
ahead beyond the grand sum of a few working women are involved in the
thousand rupees in her savings fund investment decision-making process,
account plus mandatory deductions out of this 70 per cent of these
for the share in the contributory women are joint decision-makers.
provident fund (CPF) and group And, most importantly, as much as 52

Working Women
per cent of these are not so fortunate.
They are only informed where their
hard-earned money has been invested
by their husbands, parents and close
relatives.
Further, when it comes to the
Bold and beautiful yet insurance scheme. However, her
husband, working as a human
matter of trust in the financial
institutes, it is really a bizarre fact that
badly prepared for resource Manager in a management
institute, had huge investments which
88 per cent of working women trust
nationalised commercial banks, while
taking investment he had made in a string of policies,
schemes and various other bonds and
43 per cent of them have full faith in
the private banks. In case of issue of
decisions. mutual funds of both the private and
public sectors.
trusting foreign banks for the
investment purposes, the percentage
By Shreeprakash Sharma In fact, this is not the tragic figure of these working women even
saga of only Ragini in a plummets further down to as low as
patriarchal society like merely 24.
ours where, unlike men, Following points may considerably
women are customarily help the working women in their
and genetically efforts of making wise investment
regarded to be decisions.
weaker and less
capable in the Know the reasons to invest
matters of financial With the rise in the prices of
management and commodities the rate of inflation is
investment-making persistently rising every year. The
decision processes. As average rise in inflation per year is
per DSP Black Rock, a said to be between 7.5 and 8 per cent.
This high rise in the consumer price
index considerably brings down both
the values of money and the standard
of living of the common masses.
Though you might have saved money
in your bank account, this would not
fetch you much in the long run to
sustain the same style of life which
you are enjoying now. So, it is very
much desirable that you must make a
rational decision to invest in those
segments which yield you very high
returns to ensure a better and
promising life ahead.

Prioritise your financial goals


While making decisions to invest
your money in various segments, you Dont underestimate the Do the basic homework
must not forget about your goals. You importance of hard cash It means a working woman must
must be very specific about setting Life is uncertain and contingencies calculate how much money she can
goals for all the financial investments as well as vicissitudes are its comfortably invest in the market. For
you are planning to make. It also inevitable parts. Investing your hard - this she must have clear-cut
means prioritising your financial earned money is a good decision but calculations of all the annual financial
goals. The goals may be divided into keeping aside a few months worth of liabilities and then decide about the
two short-term or mid-term and inocme in the form of liquid is golden best avenues available to invest in.
long-term. Suppose you need to decision to brave the urgent needs Further, you must consider the goals
purchase a house in the span of 10 which may crop up at the moments for which you are planning to invest,
years or a car in five years, then the when it is least expected. Keeping either for short-term goal or long-
best investment choice would be in sufficient amount of cash with term goal. Dont be afraid of the risks
equity or real estate whereas, if you yourself helps a lot dealing in daily which are always there, both in
are planning to pay only college transactions and serves as medium of business and life.
tuition fees or down payment for the precautionary measures. They say that no one is ever
purchase of vehicle next year, then perfect and we learn most when we
what is most suitable is to invest in Start now do not procrastinate commit mistakes. That is why learning
some short-term investment policies. The great entrepreneur and the is called as a life-long process. So, be
Investments in stocks, bonds and real founder of Apple Inc once had said, confident and start taking decisions
estate are considered as long-term
investments. Investment in trading SO, IT IS VERY MUCH
securities makes short-term DESIRABLE THAT YOU
investment. Building an emergency MUST MAKE A
fund also proves to be one of the
important short-term investments.
RATIONAL DECISION TO
INVEST IN THOSE
Do not ignore yourself SEGMENTS WHICH YIELD
Benjamin Franklin had said that in YOU VERY HIGH
this world nothing can be said to be RETURNS TO ENSURE A
certain, except death and taxes. BETTER AND PROMISING
There is no denying that we are
always seriously concerned with
LIFE AHEAD.
protecting our money and assets for
the future and for this we take the Sometimes when you innovate, you by yourself to make investments
help of investment professionals and make mistakes. It is best to admit which would end up providing you
financial experts. We purchase many them quickly, and get on with courage, high returns and a beautiful
of the policies and invest our hard- improving your other innovations. In future.
earned money in various high-returns- this 21st century global age of Who can deny that in the 21st
inducing schemes. A majority of the information technology, there is no century when we are living in a
people are really fortunate to have dearth of information, guidance and knowledge-economy age where
their money well managed by counselling. From professional help to information rules the roost and
professionals and financial experts. the experts suggestions to the social economic independence is considered
But what they usually overlook is networking sites and finally to the as one of the best parameters of the
themselves. They dont get insured Internet browsing, we are virtually individual identity, social status and
themselves. In fact, insuring oneself surrounded with details of risk-free- the healthy development of culture
directly means insuring the financial high-returns policies and lucrative and civilization. It is really ignominious
well-being of your family and investment schemes in the market if women, who make half of the
dependants. So, a good rule of thumb which we need to make deep research population of the world, remain
is you must first have your life into. bereft of the immaculate knolwdge of
insured. Before insuring yourself it is They say that the longest journey tools of investments and thereby
necessary to take into account your of the world starts with a single step. badly fail in securing their valuable
total liabilities. These liabilities may So, start making decisions about earnings for better returns. We
well include various types of debts, investing and that would fill you with
inter alia, childrens education loan, amazing confidence. There is no other
Darkness cannot drive out
home loans and car loans. Your way round. So, start investing and
darkness; only light can do that.
insurance must be in proportion with thereby taking risks. Only a persistent
Hate cannot drive out hate; only
all these liabilities which you need to investor can make you a master
love can do that.
liquidate in the years to come. investor.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 37


Simply
Cooking is just a matter of taste. Here is Pineapples square cookies

the way to some unusual preparations. By Anupama Gupta


square of 1 cm thickness. Cut the 11/2 tsp red chilli powder
PINEAPPLES smaller squares and insert tooth 1 tbsp sugar powdered
SQUARE picks and bake at 180 degree for 8-
10 minutes.
1 tbsp cumin seeds crushed
2 tbsp tamarind chutney
COOKIES salt to taste
INGREDIENTS: METHOD
1 cup maida
2 tbsp butter
STUFFED FRESH Quarter tomatoes and remove
inside carefully. Beat curd, add 1/2
2 tbsp pineapple jam
1/ tsp baking powder
TOMATOES cumin, salt to taste, 1/2 sugar, keep
aside. Keep the quartered tomato
4 INGREDIENTS:
tooth picks boats aside. Pressure cook chola
6 firm ripe tomatoes
METHOD and dal till soft. Drain and mash
2 cups fresh curds, beaten
In a bowl sift flour and baking coarsely. Add garam masala, red
1 cup boiled chola
powder and mix in butter and chilli, 1/2 sugar, cumin, salt, mint,
2 tbsp channa dal
pineapple jam and make a dough. ginger. Heat in a heavy pan,
1 tsp ginger grated
(use very little milk if stirring continuously, till a soft
1 tsp mint leaves finely chopped
needed). Make it a lump is formed. Adjust seasoning
1 tbsp coriander leaves finely
and salt if required. Fill each
chopped
1/ tsp garam masala powder tomato quarter with this mixture,
2
pressing down gently into hollow.
Arrange side by side in a shallow
dish. Pour seasoned curds over the
quarters to cover all. Drizzle
tamarind chutney over it, and
sprinkle a few pinches of red chilli
powder. Garnish by sprinkling
chopped coriander leaves.
Serve immediately as a snack
or a salad.

Stuffed fresh
tomatoes
FRIED CABBAGE
CAKES
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup chana dal
1/ tsp red chilli powder
2
1 clove garlic
1/ tsp garam masala powder
2
1/ tsp saunf
2
a pinch hing
1 cup shredded cabbage
1/ cup shredded carrot
4 Spicy cucumber relish
1 onion sliced
1 tbsp coriander leaves
very well. Add 1 tbsp of gramflour.
oil to deep-fry
This helps to bind the batter good. SPICY
salt to taste
METHOD
Heat oil in a fry pan. Take a small
ball out of the batter and flatten
CUCUMBER
Wash, rinse and soak the Chana to Vada shape. Drop it in hot oil RELISH
dal in enough water for 1 hour. carefully. When one side of the INGREDIENTS:
Drain the dal and add it to the cake is cooked, flip it over and 2 cucumbers
blender. Add red chili, garlic, continue frying on low medium 1/ tomato
2
garam masala powder, saunf, hing, flame. Fry the cabbage cakes till 1 onion
salt and grind to coarse batter golden brown and crisp on both 1tbsp grated cheese
without adding water. Transfer to sides. Drain on paper towels to 1 tabsp butter
a bowl. Chop finely cabbage, remove excess oil. 1/ tsp black chilli powder
2
carrot, onion and coriander leaves. Yummy Cabbage cakes are 1/ cooked rice
2
Add to the batter. Mix everything ready. sauce/chutney
METHOD
Cook the rice. Finely chop the
capsicum. In a pan melt butter,
saut onion, capsicum. When done
add tomatoes, grated cheese, and
salt and pepper and finally rice. Let
it cool.
Cut each cucumber in half and
use an apple corer to hollow out
the centres.
You may need to dry out the
cavity, so that the rice will stick
better.
To do this, wrap a chopstick
with a paper towel and use it to
dab the cavity dry.
Stuff cooked rice into the cavity
until the cavity is fully stuffed. Cut
into slices and serve with sauce or
chutney.

Fried cabbage
cakes
minute. Quickly add chocolate
chips. You would see the
chocolate chips melting. keep
stirring on low heat. The mixture
will start thickening. Continuously
keep stirring.
Sprinkle cardamom powder.
Keep stirring on low flame until
the mixture starts leaving the
edges of the pan. Do not overcook
as then the modaks will turn out
dense. Immediately transfer the
mixture in another bowl.
Allow the mixture to cool. Make
small balls from them. Grease the
modak moulds with a bit of butter
Chocolatey modak or ghee or oil. Place a small ball in
the modak mould. Gently unmould
and repeat the same with the rest
of mixture. Place the modaks over
a greased plate. Garnish with rose
petals, top with finely chopped
pistachios

OKRA PATTIES
INGREDIENTS:
100 gm okra
1 onion chopped
1/ cup flour
2
1/ cup corn meal
2
2 tbsp gramflour
1 clove garlic
Okra patties 1-2 green chilli
1/ tsp baking powder
4
oil to fry
salt to taste
METHOD
Wash, dry and cut okra in small
For garnishing:
CHOCOLATEY 3 to 4 pistachios (pista) - chopped
round pieces. Heat oil and deep-fry
the okra pieces. In a bowl take
MODAK finely (optional)
5 to 6 rose petals (optional)
flour, corn meal, gramflour,
chopped onion, garlic, green chilli,
INGREDIENTS:
METHOD baking powder and salt to taste.
For chocolate modak: Place aside. Heat a pan. Keep Make a batter with water, add
1 cup grated mawa the flame low and add grated okra pieces, mix again and with
1/ cup chocolate chips
3 mawa. Keep stirring on low flame the help of a spoon drop the
2 tbsp sugar or as required for a minute. Soon the mawa batter into hot oil and deep-fry till
1/ tsp cardamom powder
8 would start melting. When the they are golden.
oil or butter or ghee for greasing mawa begins melting, add sugar in Serve hot with chutney or
the moulds, as required the mawa mixture and stir for a sauce.

42 Womans Era July (First) 2017


SPINACH
ENVELOPES Taco salad with
INGREDIENTS: homemade tortilla
bowls
1cup curd
2 cup flour
100 gm baby spinach
1 onion
1 tomato lightly floured surface, until TACO SALAD
1 cup cottage cheese
1 tsp salt and pepper
the dough becomes soft and
slightly sticky. Place into a clean
WITH
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp butter
bowl, cover and stand for 30 HOMEMADE
minutes. Divide dough into 4
METHOD round pieces. Roll each piece into TORTILLA
In a pan melt butter and saut
finely chopped onions till they are
a 20-25 cm circle. Sprinkle spinach
and cottage cheese over half the
BOWLS
INGREDIENTS:
translucent, add finely chopped circle. Fold dough over to form a
tomatoes and chopped spinach. half circle and press edges with a For the tortilla bowls:
Season it with salt and pepper. fork. Repeat as necessary. Preheat 4 flour tortillas
1/ cup shredded cheese
Mix together curd and salt in a oven. Brush one side of each 4
large bowl until smooth. Gradually envelope with olive oil and cook For taco salad:
add the flour and mix till it until the top is golden. Gently turn 1 cup cooked rajma beans
becomes a stiff dough. Knead on a envelop and cook until golden. 1 tomatoes diced
1 green onion chopped
1 tbsp cilantro chopped
Spinach envelopes 2 tbsp shredded cheese
METHOD
Preheat oven. Coat the inside
bowls. Gently press tortilla inside
bowl. Bake for 14-16 minutes or
until evenly browned. If using
cheese, remove tortilla bowls from
oven 2-3 minutes before they are
done. Sprinkle with cheese and
return to oven. Finish baking until
cheese is melted. Let tortilla bowls
cool in bowls for 5 minutes. Fill the
tortilla bowls with lettuce, rajma
beans, diced tomatoes, green
onion, cilantro, shredded cheese.
CHEESE WAFERS
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup butter cubed
2 cups flour
1 clove garlic
1/ cup cheese grated
4
1-2 green chilli
1/ tsp salt
2
METHOD
Make a paste of chilli and garlic.
Cut butter into flour until mixture
resembles coarse meal.
Stir in cheese, chilli-garlic paste
and salt. Shape into small balls and
roll thin, cut in desired shapes with
cutters and deep-fry till they light Corn walnut dip
golden.

CREAMY powder and cook till sugar melts.


Add vanilla essence.
Cheese wafers
VANILLA FUDGE Pour into shallow square tin
brushed with a little vegetable oil,
INGREDIENTS: and leave for 10-15 mins or until
500 ml milk almost set. It will set quicker in the
3 tbsp butter fridge.
3 tbsp milk powder Cut squares with a sharp knife
3 tbsp sugar and serve.
2-3 drops vanilla essence
METHOD
Take the butter and milk into a
heavy-based pan and heat gently, CORN WALNUT
stirring frequently.
Boil and as the temperature
DIP
rises, stir occasionally. When the INGREDIENTS:
1/ cup cottage cheese
milk reduces add sugar, milk 4
2 tbsp hung curd
Creamy vanilla fudge 1/ cup oil
4
1/ cup lime juice
4
1 tbsp ground red chillies
1/ tsp salt and pepper
2
1/ cup sweet corn kernel
4
2 tbsp chopped walnuts
1 small onion chopped
METHOD
Beat all ingredients except
corn, walnuts and onion in large
bowl at medium speed until
smooth. Stir in corn, walnuts and
onion.
Serve with tortilla chips.
NO-BAKE
COOKIE
INGREDIENTS:
8 tsp butter
1/ cup milk
2
2 cup sugar
1/ cup coco powder
4
3 cups desiccated coconut No-bake cookie
powder
2 cups oats
METHOD oil for frying
1/ cup bread crumbs
Dry roast oats. Melt butter, add 2
milk, sugar, coco powder, coconut salt to taste
powder and oats. Mix and make METHOD
rounds and flatten them cool and Soak rice and Chana dal in
serve. water for 2 hours. Boil 1 cup water
and cook rice and Chana dal with
salt. When cooked take away any Adjust salt to taste. Mash and
MINI-RICE BALLS water left.
Take rice and Chana dal in a
make small balls. Roll them in
bread crumbs and deep-fry till
INGREDIENTS: bowl. Add ginger-garlic and golden. Serve hot with
1/ cup raw rice coconut paste. Add finely chopped sauce/chutney.
2
1/ cup chana dal green chilli.
4
1 tbsp ginger-garlic paste
1/ cup coconut (fresh) paste
4
1-2 green chilli

Mini-rice balls
pepper powder. Take slices and 1 tbsp chopped coriander leaves
BREAD CHEESE cut them in circle. Take 4 round 1-2 green chilli
RING slices and again cut inner circle. On
one circle spread the mixture and
1 onion chopped fine
1 boiled potato
INGREDIENTS: put another slice which is a ring salt to taste
8 bread slice and spread butter on it, and
1 cup pizza sauce METHOD
garnish with cheese, crisscross Squeeze out water from grated
1/ cup cottage cheese
2 bake at 180 degree till it is golden cauliflower. In a bowl take grated
1/ red yellow green capsicum
4 brown. Similarly, make other rings cheese, mashed boiled potato,
1 spring onion and serve hot.
1/ tsp red pepper powder finely chopped garlic, chilli and
2
1/ cup grated cheese onion. Add in squeezed
2
cauliflower and salt. Mash
1 tsp olive oil
2 tbsp butter
CAULIFLOWER together and give the desired
salt to taste BAKED CUTLETS shape. Grease baking tray and
bake at 180 degree for 8-10
METHOD INGREDIENTS: minutes. Serve hot with
Finely chop capsicum and in hot 11/2 cup grated cauliflower sauce/chutney.
olive oil saut and sprinkle salt. 1/ cup grated cheese
4
Add cottage cheese, pizza sauce, 1 clove garlic

Bread cheese ring ZUCCHINI


CHOLA FRITTERS
INGREDIENTS:
1 zucchini
1 cup chola
1/ cup fresh crumbs
2
1 grated carrot
1 onion
1 clove garlic
1-2 green chilli
2 tsp lemon juice
1 tbsp chopped coriander leaves

Zucchini chola
fritters

Cauliflower
baked cutlets
1 tbsp fresh tomato puree
oil for frying
salt to taste
METHOD
Soak chola for 4-6 hours and in
a mixer, make paste. In a bowl
take grated zucchini, carrot, finely
chopped onion, green chilli, garlic, Creamy
sweet corn
coriander leaves, fresh tomato
puree, salt and fresh bread
crumbs. Add chola paste. Mix
them thoroughly and deep-fry the
fritters. You can make fritters with
the help of table spoon. Serve hot
with chutney/sauce.

CREAMY SWEET
CORN
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup sweet corn
1 cup milk
1/ cup cream
4
1-2 green chilli
1 tbsp chopped coriander leaves
10-20 cashew nuts
1 tsp mustard seeds Sweet hearts
1 tbsp oil METHOD
8-10 leaves of meetha neem Make a coarse paste of sweet
1-2 cloves garlic corn in a grinder. In a kadhai heat METHOD
1/ tsp salt Sift flour and baking powder.
2 oil, add mustard seeds. When
spluttering add meetha neem Rub in the butter to a bread crumb
leaves, finely chopped garlic, consistency, with water make stiff
cloves and green chilli, add coarse dough. Rest the dough for 10
paste of sweet corn and saut. minutes. Divide the roll in 2
Add milk, cream and salt. Keep portions.
on stirring. When it thickens add Roll out each portion in a
cashew nuts. Garnish with rectangle form. Butter one slide
coriander leaves and serve hot. and sprinkle sugar and roll with
the rolling pin, turn over and
spread butter and again sprinkle
sugar and roll with the rolling pin
SWEET HEARTS and from both end sides roll so
INGREDIENTS: that both the rolling sides come to
1 cup flour common centre.
1/ tsp baking powder Likewise do the same for
4
1 tbsp butter another rectangle. Rest in fridge
4 tbsp butter for 15 minutes. Take out, cut in
4 tbsp sugar pieces and bake at 180 degree for
1/ cinnamon powder 8-10 minutes. We
4
Sthoorryt
S
Sweet n Sour Or was it Tom and Jerry? By Geeta Kashyap

A
s I returned home the right of the paternal their names is enough to
tired from office, I aunt. reach heaven, mom
came to witness a Your daughter is a defended my sister Vara.
big fight that was going on villager. She has given such You are an old-timer.
between my mom and my ancient names to her You have no idea of how a
You are an old- wife Meethi. Both of them children. I cannot let that name can ruin ones career.
did not take notice of my villager name my kid and Look at your sons name
timer. You have arrival. It looked as though spoil his entire future, Veeranarasimha! Hah! One
no idea of how a the fight was on for a while Meethi retorted. would have to spend an
name can ruin now. Both were aggressive How dare you call our entire minute to say his
and the fight did not show Vara (Varamahalakshmi) a name. Thank goodness, he
ones career. Look any signs of ending soon. villager? She is a introduces himself as just
at your sons Mom said, He is our postgraduate. Her in-laws Veer, my wife said with
name familys heir. Everything has may be agriculturists. That very dramatic gestures. She
Veeranarasimha! to be done as I say. does not mean she is a was fuming. She
I am the daughter-in- villager. And what is wrong continued,You know, I did
Hah! One would law of this family. I too have with her childrens names not want to marry him
have to spend an my rights. I will do whatever Anantapadmanabha and because of his ancient
entire minute to I feel is right, Meethi Anantalakshmi? Taking name. My friends convinced
replied. me that he is known
say his name. We have the first right As everywhere as Veer, so I
Thank goodness, to name him. I returned home agreed to marry him.
he introduces It is mine. I shall name tired from office, I came

I
him according to my wish. to witness a big fight that wiped my sweat. Where
himself as just was going on between my
Ask your parents. It is was their fight heading? I
Veer, my wife mom and my wife Meethi. Both continued to gape at them
of them did not take notice of
said with very my arrival. It looked as
not knowing which party
dramatic though the fight was on
needed my support. Both
gestures. for a while now.
were equally important to lovingly asked her, Darling, will have a small kid in our mom said once again.
me. Supporting one meant please dont cry. Why were home soon. Her eyes What? I almost
letting down the other. I you both fighting? twinkled. screamed. I was now getting
could not even mediate as As if she was waiting for I scratched my head and mad.
both of them were being this question, she said, Ask asked, Who is visiting us I mentioned that your
aggressive and they would your mom, she started it. with a kid? sister Vara had the right to
tear me in two. I thought it From her abruptness I Suddenly mom laughed name your kid as per our
was in the best interest of all understood that she and said lovingly, You are family traditions and that
that I should keep quiet, find going to be a father soon was enough. She started
out the root cause and then Did I trick you or and me a grandmother! arguing disrespectfully.
slowly crawl in to mediate. did you trick me? Now that was news to She continued in the same
Now it was moms turn me. Ignoring that I again breath, It is all your
to bowl a bodyline. You are
Just because you asked, Mom, why were you mistake. Had you married a
talking as if your name is were my bosss and Meethi fighting? girl from our community,
pretty. What kind of name is daughter I was the girl would have
Meethi? I had rejected you After
being polite to you. understood and she
a very leisurely
on hearing your name. If wouldnt be rude to me like
your dad had one more It was you who was bath, I emerged from
this. Your wife doesnt know
the bathroom, feeling fresh
daughter would he name head over heels in and rejuvenated. I was now how to respect elders. Her
her Khatti? Even though love with me. In ready to take on these two parents seem to have
mom was angry, she smiled women headlong. taught her nothing. She
like a winner. She was
order to please you wiped her tears .
I was surprised to see mom
successful in shutting up and your father I and Meethi enjoying
Meethi. She had indeed had to say yes. I snacks together.
bowled a googly. Now it was
my turn to receive further
know how
balls. Mom glared at me and disappointed mom
said, Your wifes name is was, I gave
Meethi and she speaks back in
bitter like methi (fenugreek),
control her. She dashed anger.
into her room wiping her wouldnt give in
tears. easily. I
said,Okay,

M eethi was red with


anger. Tears rolled
down her face. She looked
relax. Let me talk
to mom.
I entered moms
accusingly at me, stomped room like a child with a
her feet and locked self in bad report card. She was
the bedroom. I wondered gazing out of the window.
how I could calm these two She was breathing heavily,
women. No management her eyes were swollen.
degree or work experience I said softly, Mom,
helps here. please sit down. Would you Ask your wife. She Mom, let us not judge
I took a deep breath and like to have some water? started it, mom said again. others, I interjected.
knocked at the bedroom Mom ignored me. I Now I was in no mood for Without caring, she
door. There was no repeated, Mom, please sit any more riddles. continued, Your dad left
response. After pleading down. Tell me what Impatiently I repeated my me alone in this world to see
many times, wiping her eyes happened. question, Mom, why were these days. I am the
and nose, Meethi opened Ask your wife. She you and Meethi fighting? unwanted person here.
the door. She looked started it, mom said in an Mom said, I was telling Book my tickets, I will go
sharply at me as if I was a emotionally choked voice. your wife how she should back to Mysore. You be
criminal; dramatically Nobody wanted to say take care of herself during happy with your wife and
turned her head away from what happened. I sat at her this period. dance to her tunes. Even
me and fell face down on feet and cajoled her. Mom But why were you both between her tears she was
the bed and continued to melted a bit now. Wiping fighting? my pitch blackmailing me
sob. I took a sip of water, her tears, she smiled increased. emotionally. Politics must
cleared my throat and meaningfully and said, We She started it, bluntly have begun like this!

Womans Era July (First) 2017 49


I did not know whether was being polite to you. It mom. I was trying to resolve always enjoyed teasing
to listen to mom or Meethi. was you who was head over their fight and both were Meethi by shutting the
It was difficult to see mom heels in love with me. In accusing me turn by turn. cupboard door whenever
cry. So I told mom, Wait, order to please you and your Angrily I went into the Meethi was around. Now
let me talk to her. father I had to say yes. I bathroom to freshen up. I she had opened it for
I went to our bedroom. know how disappointed wanted some time to relax Meethi and sharing the
Meethi was more composed mom was, I gave back in and de-stress. After a very trivia attached to those
now. She had overheard anger. Now the war of leisurely bath, I emerged curios. I was relieved to see
moms talk. She was now words had changed tracks! from the bathroom, feeling them happy together. I
ready with her set of Then leave me. Marry a fresh and rejuvenated. I was joined them.
dialogues. She shut the villager from your now ready to take on these Meethi enthusiastically
bedroom door and said, community and make your two women headlong. showed me moms antique
Mom is not ready to accept mom happy. I will go away I was surprised to see gold, ruby and pearl set. She
me as her daughter-in-law to my parents place. I am mom and Meethi enjoying said, Mom has promised to
even after so many the unwanted one here, snacks together. Mom had give me this set some time
months.Why is she dragging Meethi started crying like a opened her cupboard. She soon. I understood how
my parents into this mess? broken dam. had understood Meethis mom had bargained for
What is the use of telling her weakness. Meethi had peace. Moms experience
anything? It is your mistake.
Knowing your familys
mentality, why did you trick
B oth the women in my
life were blackmailing
me. I was also upset. After a
always been curious to look
into moms cupboard which
was full of gorgeous silks,
and Meethis naivety had
helped them to bond
together, at least for now.
me in to this marriage? long day at work I did not gold jewellery, silver and That night I asked Meethi
Did I trick you or did you want this kind of copper antiques and many about the news of her
trick me? Just because you atmosphere at home. other interesting pregnancy and why she had
were my bosss daughter I Meethi was as important as memorabilia. Mom had not shared it with me yet.
Meethi rolled her large eyes
and said, I am not
pregnant! Just because my

COVER GIRL
monthly cycle was delayed
by two days, mom assumed
that I was pregnant and

G
started saying that Vara has
auri Rajput hails from small town the right to name the child.
Raigarh in Chhattisgarh. After Dont I have the right to
winning the title of Ms. name my own child? In the
Chattishgarh in 2014 she moved to the city morning I shall tell her that
of dreams, Mumbai to pursue her lifelong my monthly cycle has begun
passion of acting. and she needs to wait for
She started her career with roles in the good news. She gave
numerous short films and TV serials such as the look as if to say she had
Saavdhan India, Crime Patrol, Asoka, Bahu the key to control the
Hamari Rajnikant and Yeh Hai Mohabattein situation.
to name a few. I said, Then you will have
Throughout her career Gauri has tried to also wait for that ruby
to experiment with different fields, and pearl set. Mom wont
ranging from fashion shows to print give it to you until you give
shoots to theatre, etc. She believes that her that good news!
acting is an ever-evolving talent and Meethis jaws dropped in
experiments with movies, serials and disappointment. I was
theatre are greatly helpful in honing her reminded of the cartoons
skills. Tom and Jerry. I wondered
My family has been extremely which cartoon character I
supportive of my endeavours and have resembled. We
always taught me that where there is a will
there is a way, she says.
Live each day as if it were
Besides holding degree in engineering,
Gauri is an avid painter and dancer.
your last because
tomorrow may never come.

50 Womans Era July (First) 2017


124
128
Readers
Contests
Selected entries will be published in the
forthcoming issue of Womans era. Look
out for 1 August 2017 issue.
Attach a photograph of your friend for a
better chance of featuring in Womans era.
Last date for sending entries: 15 July, 2017

How
R Knowledgeable
MCJ
1st Floor, Shop No. F-2, 4, 6 & 8, Shoppers Point,
Hem Barua Road, Fancy Bazar, Guwahati-781001 (Assam)
are you?
Q1
Which one is not a gemstone?
a. Jet
the
Answeiorns &
b. Shell

125
c. Lapus
d. Mother of Pearl
quest

Q2
There is no accepted grading system for
clarity in gemstones? wanidnprize Winners of Jewellery
Quiz Contest
a. True
b. False
a gr Anita Mishra
H-No. 104

Q3
1st Floor, Nasirpur, DDA Flat,
Pkt-10, Dwarka, Sec-1,
If a step-cut has its corners cut off, what is it called?
New Delhi-79
a. Emerald cut.
b. Cushion cut.
c. Baguette cut.
d. Oval cut. Scoring Terms and Conditions:

Q4
Dont you hate those artificial quizzes that only have one obvious right answer?
What colour of good quality jade is the Jewellery and its lineage is fluid. So answer according to what you feel is best.
most expensive?
Name Age
a. Lavender
Address
b. Red
PIN
c. White
d. Green Phone: E-mail

Q5
Occupation
What gemstone should never be put in an Dont forget to attach a photograph
ultrasonic cleaner? 1. Mark the answers and send us the cutting of this quiz along with this coupon.
The last date is 15 July 2017. So hurry up and post it now. 2. The decision of the
a. Ruby editor will be final. 3. Depict your true self only. 4. Send a photograph of your own.
It may be printed in Womans Era, along with the results. Send to: Womans Era,
b. Topaz Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala, New Delhi-110 055.
c. Malachite
d. Spinel
My 12-year-old, school going-girl is obese. I want to know the periods. In hyperthyroidism the menstrual functions may not
features of obesity and how it can be measured. be disturbed although in advanced disease patients suffer
In most cases the diagnosis will be apparent from the from amenorrhoea or oligomenorrhoea.
patients appearance, but the degree of obesity should also be
assessed usually by measurement of height and weight. My 12-year-old girl is recently diagnosed with solitary bone
Where the weight of the patient can be compared with that of cyst. I want to know about the disease.
an ideal subject of the same sex, height and frame. In addition, Solitary bone cysts occur mostly in the long bones of
the skin fold sticking over the triceps muscle (muscles of back children or adolescents and especially near the proximal end
part of upper arm) can be measured, using special spring- of the humerus. They also occur occasionally in the small
loaded calipers. Obesity is indicated by a reading above 20mm bones of the adult corpus, especially in the scaphoid or lunate
in a man and above 28 mm in a woman. This very common bone. Single bone cysts often cause no symptoms unless a
disorder is frequently overlooked because the doctor is pathological fracture occurs. Radiographs show a
preoccupied by one of its many complications or ignores it circumscribed area of transradiance without a surrounding
because it is so familiar. Obesity must be distinguished from a zone of sclerosis. The cyst may appear faintly loculated and
gain in weight due to fluid retention associated with cardiac, the overlying cortex may be distended or fractured. A cyst
renal or hepatic disease, bearing in mind the fact that oedema must be differentiated from other osteolytic lesions. It may
does not become manifest clinically until the extracellular be confused with a bone abscess, with a lipoid or eosinophilic
fluid has increased by about 15 per cent. granulomatous deposits with localised fibrous dysplasia or
occasionally with a tumour. It should be remembered also
I am a 40-year-old lady working in a multinational company. that cyst formation in bones may be a feature of
Due to long hours of working on computer, I am suffering hyperparathyroidism which must, therefore, be considered in
from dry eye syndrome since last three years. I want to know differential diagnosis. Small uncomplicated cysts do not
the precautions, which I should take so that I can prevent require treatment, but they should be kept under periodic
myself from the condition. observation. A large cyst should be curetted and packed with
There are various precautions to prevent from dry eye bone chips. If fracture occurs each case must be treated on
syndrome by keeping the temperature of the room low and its merits, bone grafting preferably combined with rigid

QA
moist in which you are working. Take plenty of water and internal fixation will sometimes be required.
liquid diet, take more green leafy vegetables and seasonal
fruits, air from air conditioner should
not fall directly on eyes, use humidifier

&
in the room of air conditioner. When
you are working on computer, blink
the eyes frequently so that tears in
eyes should not evaporate frequently.
When you are working on computer,
after half an hour look at distant object
Your Body
for one to two minutes and after one hour of working on My 14-year-old daughter
computer give rest to eyes for five to 10 minutes. Use has complaint of nasal discharge
antireflective glasses and antireflective coating on computer and nasal obstruction, sometimes nasal
screen. Tobacco and alcohol should be avoided by the person, discharge becoming yellow in colour. For this
who is suffering from dry eye syndrome. problem we have consulted with an E.N.T. Surgeon. As per
his opinion she is suffering from Rhinitis. I want to know your
I am a 18-year old girl suffering from thyroid insufficiency. option about the disease.
Due to thyroid insufficiency I have menstrual problem and my Inflammation of the nasal mucosa is called rhinitis. Rhinitis
physical growth is also not proper. I want to know the role of may be acute and chronic. It is supposed to be due to viral
thyroid in menstruation and puberty. infection and an acute condition. This is usually complicated
Disorders of the thyroid are at least five times as frequent by secondary bacterial infection. A burning sensation is felt in
in females as in males and simple goitres and adenomas are the nasopharynx. Sneezing occurs because of irritation of the
known to undergo well-marked enlargement during nasal mucosa. There occurs watery nasal discharge and nasal
pregnancy. In some women the thyroid enlarges at puberty obstruction. There may be a rise in the temperature. When
and at menopause, and the general belief is that the thyroid superadded bacterial infection, nasal discharge becomes
increases in size during pregnancy. This possibly is the result yellow or green and thick. Allergic rhinitis is not associated
of excessive output of anterior pituitary thyrotropic hormone. with fever, discharge contains plenty of eosinophilis. Treatment
In cretinism the menstrual functions may not develop or if consists of rest and warmth, sedation, oral antiallergic tablets,
they do develop puberty is delayed and menstruation is oral broad spectrum antibiotics when secondary infection is
irregular. In adult myxoedema menstruation may become present, medicated steam inhalation and decongestant nasal
irregular and scanty or it may cease. Occasionally, the patients drops are helpful, but treatment can be taken only with
suffer from excessive menstruation or irregular menstrual consultation from a doctor. Dr Sanjay Teotia.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 53


I
f you thought monsoon was the
time to give all your fashion quirks
a rest, you may want to think
again! Only, you have to add some
styles in your wardrobe.

Time for short dresses


Monsoon certainly calls for fun
pieces with shorter hemlines. And the
new season wardrobe is incomplete
without a set of crop top and high-
waist pencil skirt. Maxis in lighter
fabrics like chiffon pull off that rare
feat of being both more stylish and
more comfortable than any other
piece of clothing. Usher in a sense of
carefree ease by pairing flowing maxis
with shorts. Effortless, understated
with a bit of an edge. If there's a
definitive trend towards showing off
legs, it has to be this. Wear flats
instead of sky-high heels.
A perfect substitute for the boring
old denims and trousers, this season
opt for culottes. You can team it up
with a basic T-shirt, short kurti, or a
crop top and slay your look! They are
totally a must-have for monsoon.
Playsuits are extremely comfortable
to wear and look totally chic. Opt for
bright colours to feel good about this
gloomy weather.

i o n Tr e n d s
Fas h By Sum
an Bajpai

with style.
Beat the rain
The good old skirt and top is a PRINTED OR PLAIN, Usually there is a perception that
classic combo for this season. You can denims are not meant for monsoons.
experiment with the print on print SHORTS ARE ALWAYS Yes, they arent very comfortable for
trend. You can even buy formal skirts THE BEST GO-TO monsoons, but denims are very
and team them up with shirts to look
fashionable at your workplace. Opt
OPTION THIS SEASON. practical to wear in this weather.
Denims resist muck and mud like pro,
for A-line or midiskirts rather than PICK LIGHTER FABRICS so therell be less mess. Since jeans
pencil skirts to travel comfortably. LIKE COTTON AS THEY are rough and tough, they wont get
Printed or plain, shorts are always
ARE COMFORTABLE
easily damaged as well. Opt for denim
the best go-to option this season. Pick shorts, capris or even dungarees. Pair
lighter fabrics like cotton as they are AND DRY FASTER them with loose T-shirts or crop tops.
comfortable and dry faster during the Even silk is a great fabric for
rains. Style them up with silhouette
DURING THE RAINS. monsoons. It breaks the monotony
tops and shirts to look trendy and STYLE THEM UP WITH and adds colour to the gloomy
braid your hair for the perfect look. SILHOUETTE TOPS AND weather. Wear crepe silk, art
Pair your shorts with striped shirts or
T-shirts and with statement sneakers SHIRTS TO LOOK
and set out in the streets to flaunt TRENDY.
your fashion to an elevated level.
Cigarette pants are lightweight
and do not stick to your body when
they get wet. It works as both formal
and casual wear. Flaunt your cotton
maxi dresses and skirts. Youll be
comfortable and look stylish at the
same time. Cotton tops and kurtis is
also a great idea. Pair them with
leggings or denims and you are
sorted.

Choose fabric carefully


One should stay away from fabrics
that have a tendency to stick to the
skin during the rains. Fabrics like knits,
linen shouldnt be on the monsoon
rack. Cotton is evergreen. It is one of
the best fabrics to be worn in
monsoons. Itll not stick to your body,
will dry up quickly and will not soak
water. Cotton clothes are also very silk, semi-tussar silk or cotton mix silk.
breathable which make them super These blended fabrics are comfy and
comfortable. Chiffon and nylon are dry up quickly. Mul fabric is also the
really practical fabrics for the rains. perfect blend of style and ease. It is
The best part is that even if you get softer and lighter than cotton, but a
wet in the rain, these fabrics dry up in great option for the rainy season. Pair
no time at all, so you dont have to cotton kurtis with beautiful mul
worry much. Of course, chiffon is dupattas for chic and classy look.
flowy and loose so you feel relaxed. Wear mul kurtis with cotton skirts or
Wear chiffon tops, skirts or saris. You cotton leggings for a casual day
can also wear chiffon dresses in outing.
monsoons. Avoid long ones; you dont The latest fabric which is doing the
want them getting dirty. Ankle-length rounds of international fashion
skirts and dresses would be perfect. buying, is a transparent plastic-like
Pair your chiffon top with shorts, material in bright neon colours, being
culottes or even capris. Wear casual styled for outwear or protective
flip flops or sneakers with minimum raincoat ensembles. Fabrics which are
make-up for an easy, breezy monsoon silicone washed for the monsoon
look. season, and can be stain-proof and to

Womans Era July (First) 2017 55


resist a mud splash during a rainy day. over the blue skies and we miss the
Natural fabrics like bamboo fibre colour blue for months. How about
make for good monsoon clothes. including blue in your dressing and
make-up for the loss? Blue is always
Colour palette an innocent colour to choose
You can opt for some bright blue regardless of occasion or place.
shorts or skirt to pair with some Adding a darker shade of pink to your
neutral white shirts or tank tops. attire can certainly add a little sparkle
Bring out the Bohemian in you and to the cloudy and gloomy monsoon
accessorise with chunky bracelets and days.
funky scarves. Balance your look Red is one hot and ruling colour.
between the bright and the muted You can opt for this colour as a dress
colours to create an arresting look. or accessory; either as a single colour
Aquatic colours are cool colours, or as a mishmash of complementary Tips
signifying the sea and rain. So it seems colours. If you are in a lively mood, Do not go for white, as it gets
fitting that this monsoon is all about you can wear an aquamarine dress, dirty very easily.
aquatic colours. Pair your sea-green which also appeases your senses. Do not wear salwar or patiala.
top with some fuchsia pink shorts to Dark coloured churidar and
create an explosion of colours. KNOWN FOR BEING leggings are the smart choice
Known for being a warm colour,
orange gives a cheerful look and is A WARM COLOUR,
for monsoons.
Instead of wearing long
bright at the same time. No wonder, it ORANGE GIVES A dupattas, you should use scarfs
is one of the flattering colours for the
monsoon. There are various shades of
CHEERFUL LOOK AND and stoles. You can also wrap
up your hair with scarves to
yellow with some being very bright, IS BRIGHT AT THE protect it from moisture and
while some being quite dark. During SAME TIME. NO dirt.
monsoons, it is best to go for the
darker shades to prevent any kind of
WONDER, IT IS ONE OF Moist atmosphere outdoors
can make your hair go frizzy.
staining. Besides, a yellow shade THE FLATTERING Tying your hair into a neat bun
carries with itself a cheerful look. The COLOURS FOR THE or a ponytail or a braid is a
grey clouds form a gloomy blanket great way to keep it under
MONSOON. THERE ARE control.
VARIOUS SHADES Wear multicoloured beaded
jewellies to kill the monotone
OF YELLOW WITH of dullness.
SOME BEING VERY Add colour to your rainy-day-
BRIGHT, WHILE out expedition by carrying a
cute colourful umbrella.
SOME BEING Choose a floral-printed
QUITE DARK. umbrella.
Give your leather shoes, canvas
shoes, sneakers and stilettos a
miss. Invest in an affordable
pair of rubber sandals, brightly-
coloured flip flops or floaters.
Carry a nice big bag in a solid
colour to keep all your knick-
knacks handy. Invest in a
purple or green bag, the
bigger the better.
Stick to minimal make-up, at
least during your commute.
And dont forget to only stick
to make-up products that are
waterproof; the rains are not
an excuse for smudged
make-up! We
I am a student of class 11 and my best friend is a very social me a lot but I long now to see my mother, who is living
and popular with the boys in our class. There are rumours somewhere. Please advise.
going around that she sleeps around, but I dont care about If you just look around, you will see that surrogacy is pretty
this. For me, she is a loyal, helpful and very lovable friend. common these days, and almost always the mother is
Somehow, these rumours have fallen on my mothers ears, surrogate and her identity is not revealed due to obvious
and she is shocked that I am close to this girl. Mom has reasons. Legally too, there might be clauses which
forbidden me to invite her home or have anything to do with warrant that her identity is not revealed. It is not a very simple
her. She fears that even my name will get tarnished. We have matter.
big quarrels in the house due to this issue, and my mother For all purposes, you still can believe that you are a
now threatens to take me out of the school if I disobey her. motherless child. Do not hurt your grandparents and father by
Please tell me what to do. We two girls are real close, like insisting on meeting your biological mother. Let things be as
sisters, and I dont want to give her up. they are now. Your action can create many problems. You are
This is , indeed, a dilemma! Your mothers concerns are your fathers child and your grandparents granddaughter.
understandable. If the stories abounding around your friend That is the truth you should live with.
are unverified, tell your mother that these are simply cruel
rumours. You can get the truth out of your friend directly too. My bestie in class is a very nice girl. We are 13-year-olds in a
If true, explain your problem to your friend. good school. The problem is that , frankly, I feel very jealous
Maybe, she will change her behaviour as it is affecting your when she stands around talking with other girls.
friendship. Explain to her the risks of leading a liberal life. If How can I get over this negative feeling, because I know it
she is not willing to cooperate, start distancing yourself from is harming our friendship. I tend to be sharp and rude
her. It will be painful but you cannot cheat on your mother, with her whenever she does this, and she is getting a little
who is after all your most loyal well-wisher. fed up.
There is some chance your mother will relent if your friend The good thing is that you are recognising your negative
visits your home and makes your parent see what a nice girl feeling and are wanting to root it out. You should accept that
she is, even though she leads a free life. But chances of this you are feeling a sense of adequacy and inferiority. This makes
happening look bleak. you fear that she will abandon you for another girl, or will
start liking you less.

QA
Please help me remove a tattoo from my upper arm which is If she is a loyal friend, your fears are
my ex-boyfriends initials. I am an 18-year-old girl who is
engaged to a very lovely man ,
and I dont want him to see this

&
tattoo. I had got it when I was 16
years old. I am desperate. Till
now, when my fianc and I date, I
have managed to hide this by

Teenache
wearing long sleeves.
We wish more young people
live by the maxim: think before
you tattoo! But, yes, you can get it removed by laser or unfounded. If she is not, well, you are
chemical peeling or dermabrasion, depending on how deep better off without her.
the staining has penetrated. You could end up with mild or Stop depending on her alone for your happiness. Make
severe scarring though and the procedure is definitely not other friends too and you too hobnob with them whenever
pleasant. you wish. This will make your friendship more healthy and
A better option is to turn the initials into a flower, butterfly stable, and lessen the sense of possessiveness you are now
or some other pretty tattoo by some expert tattooist. feeling.
Needless to say, go to an experienced cosmetic surgeon or Lastly, dont feel guilty and blame yourself for feeling
tattooist for this work. jealous. It is a natural human emotion which all of us feel when
our position is threatened.
I am a 16-year-old girl who has been taken care of all my life by
my paternal grandparents and father because I was told that This column is especially for teenagers. Adolescence can, we know, be a
my mother died when giving birth to me. To my utter shock, I trying and confusing time. There are so many questions which seem to
was informed by a cousin that the truth is that I am a evade solutions. A wrong decision, or an indiscreet move, can spell
surrogate child. Since my father was averse to marriage due to disaster and ruin a life. Share your problem, worry or doubt with us and
the nature of his work, and my grandparents longed to have WE will help you find a way out to a happier, healthier and more
grandchild, they decided to have me by surrogacy. successful adult life. Send your problems to:
I confronted my grandmother with this information, and she WOMANS ERA
admitted that it was true. E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055, Womansera.com
I wept for days because they had hidden this. They do love

Womans Era July (First) 2017 57


seen in Vishal Bhardwajs Rangoon, said
that acting is not a very stable
profession and actors live in a constant
fear of not getting work despite
succeeding.
Why would she want that for
herself? Look at where she studied.
After having done that, why wouldn't
she want to live and work in New York,
rather than do this?" he said. He further
said that he is not looking down on
Saras choice of career but just
concerned, like any other parent. I am
not looking down on acting, it's just
that it is not the most stable
profession. And everyone lives in
constant fear. And there is no
guarantee that despite doing your
best, you will succeed. This is not the
life, any parent would want for their
children."
Even though he sounded sceptical
of Saras Bollywood journey, he
Saif Ali Khan concerned about revealed the incident when he realized
daughter Saras film career

S
that Sara wants to be an actor. I
aif Ali Khan, whose daughter Sara remember years ago we'd gone for a
Alia Khan is all set to embark on stage show abroad and while I was on
her Bollywood journey, is not too the stage with Salman and other
happy with her career choice. Earlier, it actors, Sara was standing behind the
was speculated that Sara will make her stage curtain and looking at us. I knew
debut with a Karan Johar film. then that she wanted this for herself.
However, all such rumours have been Being on stage and people shouting
rubbished and now it is confirmed that her name," he added.
the diva will make her Bollywood debut But a doting father that Saif is, I am
opposite Sushant Singh Rajput in there if she needs to ask or talk to me
Abhishek Kapoors Kedarnath. about anything. I know what she is
In a recent interview, Saif spoke at doing and we talk about films just like
length about his daughters yet to start we do about everything else, he
film career and expressed some serious said.
concerns over it. Saif, who was last
Saif has spoken at length about Priyanka Chopra shamed for showing
legs in front of PM Modi

P
his daughter Saras yet to start
Bollywood film career. riyanka Chopra was recently
slut-shamed by some Indian
social media users for wearing
a short dress to meet PM Narendra
Modi. Priyanka Chopra who was in
Berlin to promote her Hollywood
debut, Baywatch, met Indian
Prime Minister who was also
coincidentally in the same city
for his six-day four-nations
European tour. The global
actress enthusiastically shared
a glimpse of her meeting
along with a thank-you note
on all her social media handles.
But little did she know that she
would end up being massively trolled
for wearing a dress to meet the PM.
Her pictures received massive backlash
and hateful comments. However, the
diva remained unperturbed and didnt
let negativity take a toll on her
Baywatch celebrations. Priyanka chose
not to directly respond to the criticism
but gave a fitting reply to haters by
posting yet another photograph in a
shorter dress.
Priyanka Chopra met P.M. Modi in
Berlin in a revealing dress.

Anushka Sharma looks unrecognisable Anushka Sharma has never been a direction. The film also marks the debut
and intense in first look of Pari convenient producer and opts for of Prosit Ray as a director; he was an

A
nushka Sharma recently unconventional projects like NH 10 and assistant director of Phillauri.
revealed the first-look poster of ghost comedy Phillauri. Pari seems to The shooting of the movie has
her upcoming flick, Pari on her be her yet another step in the same already begun and will majorly take
social media accounts. As soon as one place in Mumbai and Kolkata. However,
hears Pari (fairy), one is bound to Anushka Sharma in an unrecognisable not much is known about the story line.
imagine a Disney princess donning avatar in Pari. The actors and crew are tight-lipped to
gorgeous attire with sparkling eyes but disclose any detail of the film. Anushka
Anushkas Pari looks nothing like that. in a recent statement has said, At
The actress looks hauntingly fierce in Clean Slate Films, we focus on a good,
the de-glam and freckled look. The engaging story above all else. With new
blue-hued poster with Anushka an talent, we get to work on newer ideas
unrecognisable avatar hints Pari as a and innovative concepts. Pari is a great
gripping movie. script, and I have complete faith in
The film stars Anushka Sharma and Prosits vision as well as this
Parambrata Chatterjee in lead roles. collaboration with KriArj
Hindi audiences have seen Bengali Entertainment. Parambrata is also
actor Parambrata in Vidya Balan starrer happy to be a part of Pari and said, I
Kahaani earlier. Anushka is also co- was impressed with the script and
producing the film, adding yet another team of Pari and loved the idea of
unconventional film to her kitty. working with Anushka Sharma. This
film holds great promise and I look
As an ideal husband Shahid Kapoor is
helping his wife Mira Rajput to get
forward to its shoot soon.
fitter post pregnancy. The film is expected to release
next year.

Shahid Kapoor helps Mira Rajput to Sources close to him revealed that
get fit after pregnancy he regularly motivates Mira to work

S
hahid Kapoor and Mira Rajput are out often and not ignore her health
yet again giving us some serious while being a mom. He consistently
couple goals! Shahid is ardently boosts her confidence to exercise and
helping his wife to get fitter and get rid be fit. Not just this, he accompanies her
of the post-pregnancy fat. The couple to the gym as well. With a gym partner
is spotted together on their gym as good looking as Shahid, who will
outings. Shahid has always been a refuse anyway?
fitness-freak but to our surprise, Mira Shahid and Mira surely make one of
was also into aerial yoga some time the best Bollywood couples. The
back. Just like any other fitness radiance on their faces, ever-glowing
obsessed person, Shahid also wants smiles and truck loads of PDA reveals it
his partner to get into best of the all that they both are head over heels in
shape. love with each other. No other couple
has ever inspired the younger
generation to go for arranged marriage
than these two. Moreover, it looks like
after Misha's birth, their love bond is
reaching new heights.
On a professional front, Shahid is
presently busy with the shooting of
Sanjay Leela Bhansalis Padmavati
which also stars Deepika Padukone and
Ranveer Singh.
A couple that works out together,
stays together!

Alia Bhatt sweet confession for


Sidharth Malhotra

W
hether Alia and Sid are dating
or not is not even a question
now. They arrive and attend
every Bollywood event together, speak
heartily about each other and what Alia Bhatt says her relationship with Sidharth Malhotra is open.
not! Beans of their relationship also got
spilled on the last season of Koffee anymore. In a recent interview, when but quickly added, "He is and will
with Karan. Alia was asked if their dating rumours always be special." "Theres no denying
Both Alia and Sid have till now bother her, she said "It has become that I do spend time with him. So, I am
maintained a dignified silence about very blah. It has become like second not going to say that, Oh, I wasnt
their relationship but it looks like they nature to me. It sounds the same as spotted with Sid.
are not bothered about these rumours something like, Alia Bhatt is 24 and I was seen and I am okay with
she lives in Juhu. I dont think of it as people spotting me there. I am very
Tamasha actor Ranbir Kapoor says
news anymore. It is like, haan, woh toh happy going to parties with him and
Nepotism exists in Bollywood.
kab se pata hai (Ya, I already know this). being spotted at lunches with him. But
It has become a fact of sorts." I do the same thing with my other
Alia also opened up about her being friends as well and spend time with
spotted with Sid at so many parties, them too. But Sidharth is and will
lunch and movies. She almost always be special. That goes without
compared Sid with all her other friends saying," she said.

Ranbir Kapoor joins Nepotism debate film. After that, its about your talent.

R
anbir Kapoor has become the So, yes, honestly, it does exist.
latest one to join the never- Katrina and Ranbir appeared
ending debate going on together for a Facebook live chat via
Nepotism in Bollywood. The star kid, Katrinas Facebook account and
Ranbir Kapoor was asked about his were at their candid best. They even
opinion on nepotism while he was pulled each others legs during the
promoting his upcoming film Jagga chat.
Jasoos along with Katrina Kaif via A fan also asked the ex-couple to
Facebook Live. Within a second, the share the toughest part of Jagga Jasoos
Tamasha actor said, Of course, it shoot to which Ranbir replied, The
exists. It exists everywhere but more toughest part was that it took three
so in the film industry. But how I see it, long years to shoot and four years to
I can only speak of my family. release it and to keep your characters
I believe my great grandfather in check. Whereas, Katrina Kaif
worked really hard to give his children amusingly quipped that to shoot with
an opportunity in their professional life. Ranbir Kapoor was the toughest part.
I would like to work hard for my Directed by Anurag Basu, the film is
children so that they get the right slated to release on 14th July.
opportunity, platform, the right first Medha Chawla.
Sthoorryt
S
A Groom For Kavi
It wasnt easy finding one for a girl who had no clear
ideas about her future. By Savitri Babulkar

K
avita got up as savings have dwindled with their children the best that
noiselessly as she the wedding expenses, he was possible within their
could, not wishing to sounded both sleepy and means. Her heart ached for
disturb her younger sisters, tired. A marriage is no joke. them. It wasnt easy having
Sunita and Namita who, like And prices are soaring three more daughters to
her, slept on comfortable Anxiety crept into his voice marry off! They had been
mattresses spread out on the and Kavita determined, once lucky so far for their sons-
drawing-room floor. Karan, again, to help them in-law, Ramu and Govind,
Kavis twin, lay sprawling on somehow. had made no demands that
Kavita lay awake, the divan that doubled as a Everything will take care most eligible bachelors were
bed at night. There was of itself, Uma whispered. known to make.
sending a silent enough light for her to find She left all problems to
prayer of thanks
for giving them
her way to the bathroom
across the passage. She
stopped suddenly as she
divinity and refused to spend
sleepless nights worrying
about expenses. But Kavita
S he tiptoed quietly past
their room and switched
on the bathroom light. When
caring relatives. heard her mothers gentle had seen her parents she came back to bed, she
Her mothers voice from the single denying themselves small could hear Narayans steady
sisters, together, bedroom in their rented comforts in order to give snoring. It was accumulated
apartment. exhaustion. Mamtas
had given Mamta We were lucky to have wedding had gone off well.
a sizable cash found really good boys for
We
Umas two sisters, Saras and
were lucky to
gift from their Lalita and Mamta, she said. have found really good Meenakshi, had come from
meagre savings. I hope we find someone boys for Lalita and South Kanara, as they always
suitable for our Kavi, too. Her Mamta, she said. I hope did when Uma needed help;
The parents too, Board exam is over now we find someone suitable Narayans sister Sharada had
were given cash Kavita stood motionless in for our Kavi, too. Her also come from Kolkata
the passage, waiting for Board exam is over especially to help with the
in a fat cover. now
Narayan to reply. Her father preparations. They were a
had always known of her close-knit family. The last
ambition to start earning a three weeks had been hectic
living. He was invariably
supportive, but she had to
find out what he would say
now.
Come on, Uma, wheres
the hurry? Kavis so unlike
the others, and may not
want to marry just yet.
Besides, youve seen how our
making lists, getting and his family. They had all at the school level, but he earnings did make a
provisions, shopping, laughed when a close friend would need money for his difference in their lives. She
planning, distributing cards, of Narayans had offered to engineering degree. She saw Kavi gaining in self-
meeting the contractors and lend him a colourful turban secretly vowed to help. She confidence and was secretly
so on. Narayan and Karan which was the in thing at was only 16, and her head proud of her. No wonder the
had moved into the bedroom weddings! Narayan had was full of dreams. rich lawyers mother from
where the saris and jewellery thanked him but preferred Thankfully, Narayan the lovely bungalow two
were locked up in a steel his good old off-white silk stood by her decision when streets away, sent feelers
almirah. The drawing room Gandhi cap which he had the results showed that she that she would like to have
had turned into a ladies worn for Lallus wedding. had managed to get a first Kavi for a daughter-in-law.
dormitory crowded but fun! class. Fortunately, Karan got Laxmi had not seen the boy,
Kavi had efficiently taken
charge of the invitation
cards, recruiting Sunita and
K avita lay awake, sending
a silent prayer of thanks
for giving them caring
a distinction and approached
the Education Relief Society
for a scholarship. Luckily
but he was reputed to be an
excellent lawyer, though
young. Besides, Uma felt
Namita, who were both in relatives. Her mothers they obliged him. But Kavis that, at 18-plus, it was high
high school, for writing the sisters, together, had given mind was made up. Narayan time Kavi thought of settling
addresses. She was Mamta a sizable cash gift smiled when she said, The down. So she gently
systematic, and both of them from their meagre savings. secretarial course is going to persuaded her daughter to
had enjoyed working under The parents too, were given cost more than we can allow the lawyer to at least
her guidance. It would be cash in a fat cover. Kavi afford, Annu, but Ill pay it come and see her.
better if you wrote out the realised how hard times held back in instalments when I You have been working
addresses, Sunnu, Kavi had middle-class families begin to earn. for almost three years now. It
smiled. Your writing is together. Now that she was However, Uma wasnt will be foolish to turn your
neater. Namu can put the growing up, Kavita was back on a good offer like this
invitations into the covers, determined to do her bit till Girls are not one. His mother says they
fix them with cello-tape and Karan was old enough to are not interested in a dowry,
meant to work
stack them up in neat piles in shoulder the household you know, and I feel its a
the carton. There are 10-odd responsibilities with outside the point in their favour.
addresses, Namu, marked Narayan. With his brilliant house it is not I have not seen him, ma,
with a star. Dont forget to academic record, Karan had really safe, she and I have nothing against
keep them separate. Ma said managed on scholarships so him, but I hear they keep
they are to be hand- far. had said in mild aloof from people. I may not
delivered. Well mail the rest Having done reasonably protest. Kavis fit into that kind of family.
in a day or two. well in the matriculation siblings, thankfully, Anyway, theres no harm
exam, Kavi had joined a in giving him a chance. They
stood by her and
M amta was not allowed
to work. A bride needs
to look fresh on her wedding
typing class, in preparation
for the six-month secretarial
course that would equip her
she won by sheer
majority.
said he is free on Thursday
morning, and I told them you
leave for work at 9.45 am.
day, the ladies said. for a fairly good job. Unlike What do you think?
Shopping for saris was the Lallu and Mamta, she was quite happy about allowing If he cant make it on a
only activity she was not the type to sit at home Kavi to go out to work. weekend, I suppose its okay,
included in. till the right man came along. Girls are not meant to ma, but dont ask me to take
Now, all that hurrying- True, they had mastered work outside the house it is leave or anything, Kavi said.
and-scurrying was behind home management through not really safe, she had said Actually, to be on the safe
them. The wedding was over experience and been happy in mild protest. Kavis side, she decided to tell her
and Mamta and Govind were with the good boys their siblings, thankfully, stood by boss that she might not be
on their way to a modest mother had selected. her and she won by sheer able to reach the office till
hotel in Lonavla for a short Fortunately, their dreams did majority. Though Uma said 11.15 on Thursday as there
honeymoon. Sharada, not stretch beyond making a nothing more to Kavi, it was was urgent work at home.
having no children of her home and raising a family. obvious that she disapproved On Thursday, she waited
own, had scraped and saved It was different with of a pretty girl being let loose till 9.45 am, as promised.
in order to buy a gold chain Kavita. Having seen the in the Big Bad World of men. There was no sign of the
for the bride. Her husband, expenditure at Mamtas All men seemed suspect to lawyer. They have a car, ma.
Shivram, was working wedding, Kavi had decided her except the likes of her Being so close by, he could
overtime to put aside money to contribute to the family sons-in-law, Ramu and have come on foot. Anyway,
for the other girls. Having no kitty, and for Karans Govind. maybe he is not interested.
siblings of his own, Shivram education, if need be. Karan Over a period of time, she Perhaps his mothers
had grown close to Narayan had managed on scholarship had to agree that Kavis pushing him into it?

Womans Era July (First) 2017 63


Her mothers face fell, so with Uma. weekend and expected to be down when he saw the price.
Kavi looked at her watch and She probably has a home late on Thursday But, girls, he grinned, I
promised to wait for another grown-up son, teased evening. dont think Im any good at
15 minutes. In fact, she Sunnu, smiling meaningfully Hes asked us not to wait choosing a sari for ma. Thats
waited till 10. At 10 she at Kavi. up for dinner, Narayan where Ill need your help.
picked up her bag and left in Shh What if she hears added. IIT was not too far off, They were too happy to
a hurry. Halfway to the you talking like that? Kavi but long weekends were few, oblige.
landing, she heard the sound whispered. and a good excuse for a They returned home tired
of shoes coming up the What if? repeated family reunion. Besides, but content. You can take
stairs. She continued to walk Sunnu, Shes probably got Karan was doing brilliantly, an off today, ma, said
steadily down the stairs with your name and age from ma so scholarships were no Karan. Im going to order
her head bent, even as she already. problem. On his last visit, he something from the Udipi
felt the mild aroma of an And the directions to our had teased Kavi that since restaurant. Kavi promptly
after-shave lotion waft past place, laughed Namu, All she did not need to worry got a paper and pencil to
her as the footsteps she needs is your horoscope. about his fees, she could make a list of the items to
continued their ascent. Youve been working for save up for her own dowry order.
Reaching the pavement, she almost four years now, Kavi. or Sunnus. The sisters had I know its meduwada
heaved a sigh of relief. Its high time you got promptly flung a cushion at and uttappa for Annu; and
Anyway, it was not her married. his head. rava masala dosa for ma.
fault that amma was What about the rest of you?
disappointed.
With the passing of time,
confidence added to Kavis
Kavi punched him
on the arm, happy H aving Karan at home
was a special treat.
Though the parents retired
When they all spoke at once,
she shouted, One at a time,
one at a time and shook the
that she had made
beauty. At every wedding, to bed a little after 10.30, the pencil in their faces while
Sunita and Namita noticed the right choice. siblings stayed up till well Uma beamed at them. She
people turning round to give The day was filled after midnight talking and was highly pleased with the
her a second look. When with laughter. When laughing. Kavi had taken the sari and eagerly awaited
they teased her about it, she next day off. Sunnu didnt Narayans reaction to the
chided them and said they the delivery boy have her tailoring class till gift-wrapped book when he
were biased. arrived from the the afternoon and Namu, returned from work. Kavi
Udipi restaurant, who was planning to follow couldnt quite believe that

K avi returned from work


on a Tuesday to find ma
and the girls in their finery.
Karan gave him a
generous tip. The
in Kavis footsteps, had yet
to join the secretarial course.
So they could afford to stay
things were beginning to
work out for them.
Is it going to be your
When she raised her girls were in a mood up late on Friday if they treat tomorrow, Kavi? After
eyebrow they reminded her to tease Narayan wished to. Friday turned out all, you have a sizable bank
that they had to attend to be fun, for Karan took the balance now, teased Sunnu.
Nirmalas wedding who was normally sisters out for a treat at a I also have two sisters to
reception. Kavi bit her rather quiet. Chinese eatery and bought marry off, remember? she
tongue. The pressure of work them simple gifts of their retorted.
had made her forget Just because youve choice. Oh? And whos the
everything. Quickly turned 16 doesnt mean you You havent won a eldest, pray? teased Namu.
splashing water on her face can speak to your sister like lottery, have you? teased Precisely what I was
she hastened to change. It that. Remember Before the girls. about to say, said Uma very
would take time to fix her Kavi could complete the No-o-o, but Id saved firmly. And everyone
hair in a bun. Nirmala wont sentence, Uma frantically some of the scholarship laughed just as the key
mind if Im not decked out, signalled to them to hurry up money and solved a turned in the lock to
she said and let her hair hang and join the queue to meet crossword and won a prize announce Narayans return
in a thick, loose plait that the couple on the stage. and from work. Everyone
almost reached her knees, When they reached home, Wow! screamed the gathered together to watch
and hurried out with the Sunnu and Namu were still girls in unison, And you Narayan open the gift. Then
others. talking about the smiling havent told amma, Annu? there was an eager session of
The length of her hair lady theyd met, when Of course, I have. I didnt showing off with ohs and
earned her more than her Narayan returned from a tell you girls because I saved ahs over each gift.
usual share of glances. There colleagues farewell party at it as a surprise Listen, I All except Karan, said
was a kindly middle-aged the office. He said Karan had know what surprise gift to Sunnu.
lady who smiled at them and called up at his workplace to buy for Annu I saw him eye Wait a minute, said Kavi
proceeded to make friends say that he had a long a Vivekanand book and put it and disappeared to rush back

64 Womans Era July (First) 2017


again with a packet she had Thats the longest married sisters and aunts. I dont see any tall-dark-
bought after Annu had speech you have ever made, Early on Saturday handsome stranger on the
announced Karans visit. Annu, said Karan, hugging morning they got up to a horizon, do you? she
And now, Prince him. And the day ended on a tempting aroma wafting laughed.
Charming, its your turn to happy note for the family. from the kitchen. Wow! One never knows he
open a gift, she said, Everyone stayed up till said Kavi, sitting up with a may be just round the
dramatically handing him a midnight even Narayan, as jolt and rushing into the corner, he said with a wink.
gift bag. All eyes turned to the next day was a holiday. kitchen. Folks. Im famished. It is
watch him. But Uma preferred to go to Girls, she screamed in almost 10.30. Why dont we
He let out a slow whistle bed at 10. She had to read, mock horror, I call that sit down for breakfast?
when he held up a beautiful she said, and a sumptuous gender-bias. Mas cooked Wait a minute, let me
camera. Theres something breakfast to plan for Karan. enough breakfast for an first take a few pictures of
else, Kavi prompted. He Your favourite son, the army just because her sons the spread on the table, he
dipped into the bag and girls shouted, as they always home. said, pushing the sisters
produced a flat packet. There did when she made away. Just then the bell rang
were half a dozen hankies of
fine white material with a
narrow elegant edging two
something that Karan was
fond of.
Im too sleepy to argue
S unnu and Namu rushed in
to check. There was idli-
sambar-chutney, home-
and Narayan opened the
door to the smiling lady they
had met at the wedding.
each in grey, brown and blue. with you, she smiled as she made chewda and sheera Next to her stood a young
Karans eyes shone as he yawned and got up from the Karans favourite sweet. man, whom she introduced
gave her a hug. dining chair. She could rely Meanwhile, Karan returned to the family as her son,
Thanks, Kavi. This is on the girls to clear the table. from his walk, with not just a Manohar.
exactly what I wanted. Tell But Karan insisted on taking film roll, but potato wadas
me, he smiled, since when
have you become a mind-
reader?
a few photographs in the
drawing room: I must show
the boys what pretty sisters I
and jalebies as well.
You have been spending
lavishly, Karan. Youve not
T hen there were
introductions all round.
Finally, they all sat down.
have. Ill take a picture of robbed a bank, have you? Somehow, Kavi got a feeling

K avi punched him on the


arm, happy that she had
made the right choice. The
Amma and Annu, first. Then
we can have permutations
and combinations.
Not yet, Sunnu. Ive
saved a bit from the
scholarship money. They are
that Karan, amma and Annu
had known about the visit,
and had been waiting for
day was filled with laughter. Save some for tomorrow quite generous, actually. So, their arrival. That accounted
When the delivery boy morning. There are lovely Kavi, you may stop working for the elaborate breakfast
arrived from the Udipi flowering bushes in the and start looking for a otherwise, a Sunday
restaurant, Karan gave him a compound, said Uma before groom, he added brightly. breakfast normally meant
generous tip. The girls were going to bed. Kavi mentally kadak pao and home-made
in a mood to tease Narayan decided to get copies of the On butter with upma or some
who was normally rather family pictures for her taking a few simple filler. The aroma of
quiet. photographs in the filter coffee filled the air as
Tell us, Annu, what drawing room: I must Uma led them all to the
show the boys what pretty
made you choose rhyming dining table.
sisters I have. Ill take a
names for us Lalita, picture of amma and Annu, Kavi spoke very little, but
Mamta, Kavita and so on? first. Then we can have listened intently to all that
asked Namu. And, to their permutations and
surprise, he replied without combinations.
hesitation. In college, I had a
classmate called
Prathamesh. His brothers
were Pratap and Pramod. He
always said it was most
embarrassing to have the
same initials; especially
when their letters were
sometimes opened by the
wrong brothers.
Every one burst out
laughing, before he added.
So I convinced Uma that
rhyming names were safer.
was said, and picked up about him that she quite fussy. But there were two to marry off.
titbits of information. Indu liked. She was comfortable in things I wished to know Y- Thats but natural.
aunty and Manohar lived in his presence. However, there your mothers not p-pushing Anyway, I dont see any
Dadar and had taken a local was one small nagging you into this, is she? problem. What you earn is
train to Goregaon. Train is doubt. Shortly, Uma called Honestly, I wasnt too totally yours, and youre free
the quickest way to her into the kitchen on the keen, initially, to come along to spend it exactly as you
commute, they said. It pretext of carrying a second and spoil a Saturday wish.
took us less than an hour to helping of idlis to the table. morning. But once I saw you, Oh, thank, you-thank-
reach Goregaon. And we When Uma quietly raised I didnt need much you Kavi smiled.
walked down from the an eyebrow. Kavi smiled. No persuasion, he smiled. She So, now that your doubts
station it isnt too far from objection really, but theres blushed and looked down. have been cleared, may I tell
here. one small matter Id like to And what was the my mother that shes about
clarify before you give them second thing? he to get a daughter-in-law of

T he men discussed the


headlines in The Times.
The ladies exchanged
a definite reply, she
whispered. Uma sighed. Kavi
was never uncooperative,
prompted gently.
O-oh that? Actually, I
started working so that I
her choice?
Just then the doorbell
rang. When Kavi let them in,
recipes. They discussed but she had certain views could help the family. I would they all began laughing and
every topic under the sun which were unshakable. So, have continued if-if-if talking at once.
except matchmaking. after breakfast, Uma offered if this proposal hadnt Give me a minute,
Kavita smiled to herself, to show Indu the flowering come up, you mean? Why? laughed Karan. Ill go get
Manohar was quite unlike hibiscus in the compound. Whos stopping you from the camera to celebrate the
the heroes in romances or Everyone followed, leaving working? Not me, not ma occasion We
films. Of medium height, he Kavi alone with the boy. Thats not all. I would
was smart, not exactly It was not easy to start. have liked to continue
handsome. But he radiated a For a while, Kavi twisted the helping my parents. You Life isnt about finding
quiet confidence that edge of her pallu in her know, sending them part of yourself. Life is about
impressed her. Besides, fingers before bursting out, my earnings. A-after all, they creating yourself.
there was an honest look I am sorry if I seem to be too have t-two more daughters George Bernard Shaw.

You and I, walking hand in hand by the riverside


The breeze so gentle, washed us with its tenderness
The moonlight enough to see each other
We looked into each others eyes.

A life so long and unpredictable stood before us


Promises to be kept

f l i f e
Hurdles to overcome

Road o
Priorities to be set,
Questions to answer.

We smiled at each other


Knowing nothing to say
A life we had to face together
With all its ups and downs
Knowing we are there for each other
Life seemed so beautiful and trouble free
Smiling at each other, we walked together along the Road of Life.
Reshmi Sujesh.

66 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Spotlight on

Spin a c h The super herb can now detect


mines. By Deepalatha

P
lant scientists are currently When one of these chemicals is monitoring the environment because
finding out whether some kinds present in ground water, sampled they already take in a good deal of
of herbs that are commonly naturally by the plant, there occurs an information from their surroundings,
consumed in perhaps every home can emitting of fluorescent signals that Strano further said.
be put to technological uses. Spinach can be read with an infra-red camera. Plants possess an extensive
is doubtless a household herb, This camera can be attached to a network of roots in the soil, are
imparting health and strength to small computer similar to a smart constantly sampling ground water,
those who consume it. Just a cup of phone which then sends an email to have a way of self-powering the
spinach provides 200 per cent of the the user. transport of that water up to the
daily value of vitamins K (upwards This is a novel demonstration of leaves, he said.
1000 per cent in one cup of boiled how we have overcome the plant
spinach). Vitamin K is of invaluable human communication barrier, said
help to stimulate proteins that attach Michael Strano, professor at MIT. USEFUL DEVELOPMEMT
calcium inside bones and prevents the Plants are ideally suited for Stranos laboratory had previously
activation of cells that break down developed carbon nanotubes that can
bones. be used as sensors to detect a wide
Spinach is also said to prevent range of molecules including
eye ailments like macular hydrogen peroxide, the powerful
degeneration. Much unlike other explosive TNT (trini trotoluene) and
herbs spinach helps decrease the the deadly nerve gas sarin.
risk of advanced (stages III and They also embedded carbon
IV) prostate cancer. Spinach is a nanotubes that emit a
must in a large number of houses constant fluorescent signal
as it is surely a great bone builder. that serves as a reference.
You are, however, This allows the researchers
advised to limit its to compare the two
intake if you suffer from fluorescent signals, making it
gout. easier to determine if the
Spinach is not merely a explosive sensor has
super food, thanks to the detected anything.
scientists of Massachusetts In the event there are any
Institute of technology (USA) who explosive molecules in the
have transformed it into sensors that ground water, it takes around 10
can detect explosives in a matter of minutes for the plant to draw
seconds. By embedding leaves of this them up into the leaves, where
unique herb with carbon nanotubes they encounter the detector.
employing the vascular infusion This path-breaking study was
technique, the plants are designed to published in the renowned science
detect chemical compounds known as journal Nature Materials. We
nitroaromatics that are frequently
used in landmines and in various other If the facts dont fit the theory,
explosives. change the facts.
BOOKING
TRAVEL
PACKAGES?
Things to keep in mind.
By Sudha Hariharan

T
aking a break from your daily with friends? Is your family, complete
mundane schedule is always with children and the elderly,
exciting and pleasurable. accompanying you? Is it a business
Planning a vacation is undoubtedly a trip that you want to double as a
fun task, but the arrangements, the vacation?
calculations of time and money, the All these factors have to be taken
bookings and the pressure of finding into account while sealing your travel
the best deal can sometimes be a package. While a package deal should
time-consuming and painful task. be affordable, it should also ensure
While there is no dearth of exotic maximum exploration of the
and attractive tourist locations destination and comfort in terms of
waiting to be explored, a number of food and stay. However, if you have
factors have to be kept in mind before vulnerable family members like kids
embarking on a vacation. Are you a and elderly accompanying you, focus
solo traveller or are you travelling more on quality than quantity.
Kapil Goswamy, (CMD) of a travel service providers. However, it might assistance to locate hotels, revise a
company shares tips that can help you not always be true. Often, travellers booking or initiate any emergency
select a good travel package for your find more lucrative and more change of plan. Therefore, it is
upcoming vacations: customised solutions from less-known advisable to book with a travel
service providers who are more eager company that offers 24 X 7 assistance.
Chalk out a travel plan and to build a good image and a loyal
specify your preferences clientele for themselves. Plan your trip in time
While booking through a travel The old saying the early bird gets
agency, many people tend to ignore Book round trips the worm is absolutely true when it
the calendar themselves and rely on Flight fares are often expensive. comes to vacation planning. Flight
the agents for even last detail The fares also depend upon distance fares are significantly cheaper if
planning. However, it is important to and destination. While you may booked more than a month in
remember that it is your vacation and choose to travel to various places on a advance, and so are hotel rates.
you need to have a fair idea of the single trip, it is advisable to book Online travel companies as well as
must dos on a particular round trips. You must try and book hotel chains now offer significant
destination, even if an experienced your flights in a manner that you discounts and special offers for Early
travel agent is planning it for you. depart and arrive at the same airport. Bird bookings. Also, by booking
A ready-made package to Kerala Round-trip fares are usually cheaper. late, you might miss out on the best
might contain visits of equal duration beach view hotel in town and may
to the backwaters, beaches as well as Say no to extras have to settle with an ordinary one. In
the hill stations. However, you might Travel packages often tend to lure case of last-minute bookings, you are
be and out-and-out beach person by giving you options to select left to select from the available
desiring to spend maximum time at additional services to make your trip options and also paying a higher price
the beaches and restricting even more pleasurable and memorable. for the services and bookings.
avoiding other places. Your However, these extra offerings may
preferences therefore have to be unnecessarily add on to your budget. Check the facilities
specified clearly to the planner. Offerings such as airport transfer, If you are on a business trip, make
For this to happen, a rough travel shopping assistance and the like can sure before sealing the deal that all
itinerary must be chalked out in your the facilities required for making your
mind, complete with locations of TRAVEL PACKAGES visit comfortable and successful are in
preference, budget as well as number
of days. It is important to have an
OFTEN TEND TO LURE BY place. Whether the hotel offers wi fi,
conference rooms suitable for your
outline of your vacation ready before GIVING YOU OPTIONS TO meetings, facilities such as fax,
checking out for travel packages, as it SELECT ADDITIONAL foreign exchange etc are crucial
would help you to remain focused.
SERVICES TO MAKE YOUR details which need to be pre-
ascertained. We
Enroll yourself with TRIP MORE PLEASURABLE
multiple travel sites Life isnt about how many breaths
AND MEMORABLE. you take but about the moments
With plenty of players in the
HOWEVER, THESE EXTRA that take your breathe away.
market, the customer is often spoiled
for choice. However, it helps to OFFERINGS MAY
conduct a fair comparison and
research before sealing a deal.
UNNECESSARILY ADD ON
Therefore, it will help you to register TO YOUR BUDGET.
with two-three travel agencies and
sites from which you can receive a be avoided if you want
slew of deals, discounts and offers in to save cash. Keep the
your mail. Different agencies might be deal to the basic
providing different packages for a minimum.
visit to a particular destination and
you can pick the best one from them Travel agency should
or negotiate with the others. be open 24 x 7
Be careful while choosing
Popular is not always the best your travel agency; choose
While dealing with travel agencies one which will be readily
or websites, we often tend to believe available to help any time.
that the most popular ones are On vacations, travellers
automatically the best planners and may often need urgent
Ltoonrgy
S
Part - II
Smoky stuff Amazing conclusion. By C. J. Nandakumar
The story so far
Coonoor tea estate manager Bhattacharya has died under mysterious circumstances.
Inspector Vikram is out on the trail of the killer.

Y
es, I need this to be What do you say, and Ignorance, absolute
done within an hour may I ask you what the ignorance and ignorance is
and mail it to my mail letters BBB stand for? bliss for you, my dear friend.
ID. Dont forget to make the It is just a monogram An estate pipe is a tobacco
call. I am expecting your call A what? smoking pipe that is acquired
any moment from now. Yeah, it is just a logo of a through purchasing a
Remember, time is of the branded product. collection from an individual.
The letters BBB essence. What product is it? Most of them are pre-
The mobile phone rang. An estate tobacco pipe. smoked pipes, but
in the rhombus
Inspector Vikram picked it up I have heard of only occasionally one can acquire
monogram and his face brightened up as tobacco grown in an estate, unused pipes as well. All of
indicates one of he heard the voice of not the pipe. the pre-smoked pipes that
the foremost Srikanth at the other end. Srikanth laughed, are offered will be
Tell me, my friend, any professionally cleaned and
words in the world interesting evidence came Inspector polished by professional pipe
of pipes, Britain's out of that death note? Vikram coolly said, makers. Estate pipes are
Nothing interesting as The game is over, Mrs considered a treasured
Best Briars, a Bhattacharya. You are the
you expected it to be. It is not heirloom as vintage cars, as
company that has at all a cryptic note for a
real murderer. You were
they were pre-owned by
been excelling planning to murder him right
murder plot. eminent and famous people
from the time you were
since 1856 and is Inspector Vikram lost his wedded to him. You are not like Churchill or cine
still improving to steam. in love with him. You personalities like Clint
were only after his
this day. wealth.
Eastwood. The rich ones are a composed and stern face What nonsense are you glued to his laptop for about
ready to pay any amount to he turned to Barun and said, talking, inspector? 10 minutes. He raised his
acquire these kinds of estate Mr Barun, I need to ask you Its all the more reason head with a composed
pipes. certain questions over your for you to eliminate your demeanour and said softly,
What do you think to fathers untimely death. Did father and thats the reason Yes, officer arrest the
which company this you have a heated argument you sent the estate tobacco culprit.
monogram belongs? with your father before you pipe to your father. The female officer took
The letters BBB in the left for the UK? He has been longing to the handcuffs and walked
rhombus monogram It is something personal. have one for a long time, and straight towards Mrs
indicates one of the foremost I know, it is about your on top of that, I needed to Bhattacharya and
words in the world of pipes, marriage. Is it true that you pacify him. So, I gifted the handcuffed her.
Britain's Best Briars, a refused to marry the girl estate tobacco pipe to him. Mrs Bhattacharya was
company that has been whom your father insisted No, you used it as a astonished at this. She
excelling since 1856 and is on? weapon to kill him. stared at the inspector in
still improving to this day. Yes. How can you say that disbelief. She yelled, Whats
And did your father Ive killed him? the big game, inspector?

S uddenly, Vikram
remembered a pipe bowl
that he had pocketed at
threaten you that in the
event of going against his
wish he will disown you and
He died after smoking
the estate tobacco pipe that
you had sent him. I nspector Vikram coolly
said, The game is over,
Mrs Bhattacharyas house youll be left without a penny Its rubbish. Mrs Bhattacharya. You are
that came from the forensic and the property will be the real murderer. You were
department after the check- donated to the charity? When your husband planning to murder him right
up for any noxious Yes. from the time you were
substance. He frisked his Do you agree that in
said that he would wedded to him. You were
own body and pulled out the retaliation you said that you will his wealth to a not in love with him. You
bowl and eyed it closely to should be his heir even after charity, if his son were only after his wealth.
locate the monogram. his death, whether or not he marries a foreigner, When your husband said
Look, I have the broken liked it? that he would will his wealth
piece of the pipe bowl with Yes. you started to a charity, if his son marries
me, but I dont find any scheming a plot to a foreigner, you started
companys name embossed
on it.
You will not find it with
S ub-inspector Raghav
flashed his ID to an old
gentleman of an ayurvedic
murder him. You
wanted your son to
scheming a plot to murder
him. You wanted your son to
marry your brothers
the piece that you are medicine shop. He was marry your brothers granddaughter so that the
holding, but it is in the stem guided inside and was shown granddaughter so property will stay with you.
of the tobacco pipe and for to an 18-year-old boy, Since Barun was determined
that the property
your information the thing Agarwal. Raghav showed to marry a foreigner, you
which you have is not the some photographs to him will stay with you. decided to eliminate your
broken piece, but the one and verified. husband by utilising the
that has been disentangled Suddenly, the land line Yes, the stem of the pipe estate pipe gifted by your
from the whole tobacco pipe. buzzed. Mrs Bhattacharya was coated with ricin toxin son so that you can indict
Normally, a pipe consists of picked up the receiver and which is a deadly poison; its him for the murder and foist
two parts, a chamber or said, Hello. Her face a planned murder, I say, the case upon him so that he
bowl, along with the shank darkened. Look, I cannot Inspector Vikram raised his will be behind bars and youll
and that is what you are budge out of this place now. I voice. be the sole legal heir to enjoy
holding, and a stem or the am very busy. Ill meet you Barun broke down. He his wealth.
shaft along with the lip part. tomorrow and well talk it couldnt control his Let me bring to light
These two parts can be over. emotions. His voice your modus operandi. You
dismantled apart. You better Whos that on the quivered. He looked at his took the stem of the estate
look for the monogram in the phone? Inspector Vikram mother apologetically with pipe and asked Babulal to
missing part, the stem of the asked. tears welling up in his eyes. give it to Agarwal, the boy
tobacco pipe, with that Oh, its just a call from Mrs Bhattacharya spat who is working in Aryan
Srikanth hung up. my ladies club. It can wait, venom through her eyes. She Ayurvedic Medical Shop
Inspector Vikram picked you carry on, inspector. turned her face aside and down the hill. You had
up the stem from his satchel Inspector Vikram smiled screamed at the Inspector already contacted Agarwal
and looked for the and said, So, Mr Barun is Vikram, Inspector! Arrest and told him to coat the
monogram and it was indeed that the reason you poisoned the culprit. stem with ricin toxin which is
there neatly embossed. With your father? Inspector Vikram was a product derived from

Womans Era July (First) 2017 71


castor beans that they sell of Mr Bhattacharya. When I Maybe for others, but we
for medicinal purposes. You
A couple of days got the report from our know you are not his
paid him a hefty amount to after collecting the pathology department that biological mother. We traced
keep it a secret when he stem he crushed Mr Bhattacharyas body your antecedents to the
went to the shop. He found the paper and contained the deadly toxic Kangra valley and got the
various other stems which named ricin and when our information that you forced
were kept for cleaning threw it in your forensic department also your company on
purposes and in order to drawing room as it confirmed the same toxic Mr Bhattacharya when he
identify his stem he was of no use to substance in the stem of the lost his first wife in an
studiously drew the diagram pipe, I ordered our Sub accident. Mr Barun is the first
of the monogram and kept it
him anymore. Inspector Rhagav to trace wifes son. When you and
in his pocket. Babulal has got whether it was sold in the your husband relocated to
A couple of days after nothing to do Aryan Ayurvedic shop that is Coonoor Mr Barun was a
collecting the stem he with this murder mentioned in the flyer you small three-month-old baby,
crushed the paper and threw filed with the address clearly. so everyone thought that he
it in your drawing room as it apart from being Mr Rhagav has done a was your own child.
was of no use to him an innocent wonderful job by not only That boy Agarwal is
anymore. Babulal has got errand boy. tracing the shop but also lying. You cannot prove
nothing to do with this cornering your accomplice anything against me.
murder apart from being an Agarwal and made him give

I
innocent errand boy running protein builders. The result is a threatening call to you nspector Vikram smiled
errands for you. When you severe damage to major demanding more money for and said, Your castor
came to know the truth organs. Just one milligram of your crime at the exact time bean plot is over. Your
through me that the bowl of ricin is enough to kill an adult of my interrogating your accomplice has already
the tobacco pipe did not if inhaled or ingested. For family members. Knowing spilled the beans and it is
contain any toxic substances, almost two days, pretty well from where the recorded. Here is your
it suddenly came to your Mr Bhattacharya was call came I simply asked you proof.
mind that you have smoking his pipe that was the question for which you Inspector Vikram
forgotten the stem and you enough for him to collapse uttered a blatant lie that it switched on his laptop and
meticulously planted the all of a sudden. But you was from your ladies club. showed the mail that had
stem under the couch after I inadvertently filed the flyer I saw your appalled reaction been sent by Mr Rhagav. In
had gone. That was the along with the medical bills when you picked up the call. the video Mrs Bhattacharya
reason that I couldnt find the What a story you are saw the boy confessing
stem the first time when I Mr Barun turned making up, inspector! How everything to Mr Rhagav and
checked the area for any to her with tears welling can I do this to my own son? subsequent to that making a
evidence. up in his eyes, Why did you He is not your own son. threatening call to her as
Ricin is a toxic do this mom? Had you asked The whole town knows instructed by Mr Rhagav.
protein found in the me, I would have willingly given that he is my son. She was stupefied and
castor oil plant that this property to you. I will be became speechless.
settling in the UK with my
wreaks havoc on Mr Barun turned to her with
lover. Again, I say the same
ribosomes, the cells tears welling up in his eyes,
thing to you that I said
to my father.
Why did you do this, mom?
Had you asked me, I would
have willingly given this
property to you. I will be
settling in the UK with my
lover. Again, I say the same
thing to you that I said to my
father.
Whether you like it or
not, you will be my mother
for ever even after my
death. We

I wish my book of life was


written in pencil There
are a few pages I would
like to erase.
I have a six-month-old daughter. As this is probably the time he has to go through all the stages a child has to go through
her first tooth will appear I am keen to know about a childs while learning to speak. A visit to the paediatrician is in order
dentition. Kindly enlighten me. to rule out medical causes for the delay in speech.
A child has a set of 20 milk teeth (upper and lower jaw
combined) that comprise 2 incisors or front teeth, a canine I have a six-year-old daughter who has a mild squint which
on either side of the incisors and the 1st and 2nd molar at the gets accentuated when she looks at a particular direction.
back on either side on each jaw. Dentition begins at 6 months What can be done about it?
of age and is completed by 24 months. The 1st to appear are This is a form of squint (also called the lazy eye) that
the lower central incisors at 6 months of age while the upper occurs due to the weakness of muscles that move the eye.
central incisors and the lower lateral incisors erupt at 7 She will be prescribed eye exercises that must be done
months. The 1st molars appear between 12 to 14 months, the diligently to preserve binocular vision. This is because once
canines between 16- 18 months and the 2nd molars between she crosses the age of eight years only the normal eye will be
20-24 months. able to see properly while the other becomes useless. If
exercises fail surgery might be of help.
At times my baby makes a strange wheezing like sound while
sleeping. Could an infant have asthma? I am very worried. What is swaddling? How is it done and how does it help the
Please tell me what should I do. baby?
Babies tend to breathe through their noses and as their Swaddling is a soothing technique that gives the newborn
nasal passages are narrow, small amounts of nasal fluid or a sense of security, comfort and warmth. Spread a blanket
mucus makes them sound congested even when they do not and fold one corner over slightly. Lay the baby face-up on the
have a cold. The noisy breathing does not indicate allergy or blanket with his head on the folded corner. Wrap the left
asthma as most parents tend to think. At times dried nasal corner over the babys body and tuck it underneath. Bring
secretions block the babys nostrils. This creates problems in the bottom corner up over the baby's feet. Wrap
feeding for it becomes well nigh impossible to breathe with the right corner around the baby, leaving

Q
the mouth and nose closed. Put a drop of boiled and cooled only the neck and head exposed.
water in each nostril. This will soften the

A
secretions, which can be removed with
cotton buds.

My baby has crusty flakes on his scalp


despite a bath every day. Please tell me
Child &
Challenges
why this has occurred and how it can be
cured.
The crusty flakes on the head is called
cradle cap or seborrhric dermatitis in medical parlance. It is a I have a two and a half years old son.
form of dandruff common in infants. The greasy surface scales He is unable to walk. What could be the cause?
in mild cases respond well to massage with oil followed by a The cause could range from delayed milestones,
thorough shampoo that removes the crust along with the oil. nutritional deficiencies, a mild degree of mental retardation or
In those cases where the flaking is heavy and there are polio. Get him examined by a paediatrician and an
brownish patches or yellowish crustiness, a visit to the doctor orthopaedist at the earliest.
is warranted. Since the condition worsens with sweating avoid
covering his head unless absolutely necessary. Occasionally I have a four-year-old son. He has become very rowdy and
cradle cap may persist throughout the first year. Though the disobedient. I have become so aggravated at times that I have
condition is cosmetically unappealing, it causes no problems given him a tight slap and regretted it immediately
so do not try vigorous methods of removal. afterwards. Please tell me how to discipline him without
beating him, as I know that it is wrong to do so.
My son is three-and-a-half years old. He started speaking late. You are right in thinking that beating is not the disciplinary
Even now his speech is like a one-and-a-half-year-old kid. I measure of choice. It may have an immediate effect but is
worry about this a lot. Please help. only a temporary solution though the repercussions are life
Some children start speaking late, especially if delay in the long. Either the child becomes obstinate and defiant or he
onset of speech runs in your family or that of your husband. becomes insecure with a poor sense of self worth. Here are a
Another reason for this delay could be that he is not spoken to few things that you can try. Be firm and constant in your
often enough! This is usually the case in the only child of a denial of things that are prohibited. Warn him sternly the first
nuclear family and you are a working couple. So either talk time he disobeys, despite your disciplining. If that does not
to him as often and as much as possible or see to it that he help keep him away from his peers, TV, computer games or
interacts with other children. There will be a drastic anything else that he enjoys so that he learns that he will have
improvement in his speech. to do without things he likes if he does wrong.
As for his still speaking like a one-and-a-half-year old child Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 73


various heart diseases, researchers
said.
About 365,000 people die of
coronary heart diseases annually the
most common type in the United
States and 17.3 million worldwide,
making it one of the biggest killers.
The investigators found that genes

Adopt a Health
can double the risk of heart diseases,
but a good lifestyle cuts it in half.

Life Style
Beat genetic heart disease. By Sudesh Gogia

G
enetics destiny can do Vicinity of nature
wonders when it comes to Wake up naturally without an
heart diseases. In a new alarm after a deep qualitative sleep of
analysis of data of more than 55,000 seven to eight hours. Infficient sleep,
people provides an answer which says can regulate stress hormones. Come
that by living right by not smoking out of the sleep mode naturally in a
exercising moderately and by eating relaxed way. Never get out of bed
a healthy, balanced nutritious diet rich straightaway. With folded hands and
in fresh fruits, seasonal veggies and faith, express a sense of your
grains people can avoid even the gratitude. Go outdoors to inhale fresh
worst genetic risk of many heart air. Breathe deeply; loosen up and
diseases. stretch your limbs out. Relax and have
DNA is not destiny, it is not positive, progressive thoughts. Feel
deterministic for heart diseases, said the present moment and its vibrant
Dr Sekar Kathiresan. You do have generosity. Never allow yourself to
control over the problem, even if you suffer from anxiety or uncertainty of
have been dealt a bad genetic hand. the future!
The research by Dr Kathiresan and his Dont ever get caught in the
colleagues, is the first attempt to use business trap early in the morning.
large data sets to tease apart the Listen to the chirping of birds outside
effects of genes and lifestyle in (in the lawn of your house). Breathe in
fresh air slowly; breathe out toxins of Obese people with more salt have a A positive attitude keeps your
the body. Exercise and yoga in the greater risk of cardiovascular mind free of stress and anxiety. Fruits
morning offer a lot of benefits. Youll diseases. Avoid processed meat; steer and vegetables help attain lower BP
be energised throughout the day. clear of table salt on the dining table. and are full of vitamins, minerals and
Enjoy the little things in life. Be Exercise regularly, its a drug-free fibres and low in sodium.
romantic with colourful flowers in the treatment for hypertension and Obese individuals have greater
garden. makes your heart stronger to pump fatty tissues that increase the work
Enjoy the warmth of spring. A glass more blood with less effort. Meditate the heart has to do. Losing weight
of nimbu paani with honey early in to de-stress; the stress-release lowers BP. To lose weight, you need
the morning cleanses the internal hormone called adrenaline causes to eat fewer calories than you burn.
toxins and provides energy. Manage breathing to quicken heart rate. Dont go on a crash diet if you want to
your fitness regimen through yoga. avoid heart diseases.
Take a brisk walk in greenery in the
vicinity of nature. Swimming and DEEP SLEEP DEVELOPS Sex and a healthy heart
ayurvedic interventions are THE ABILITY TO Sexual activities have a protective
detoxifying. Laughter in the company effect on the health of the heart.
of old friends is a great de-stressor! REGULATE STRESS Oxytocin known as love hormone is
Use the staircase, not the elevator. HORMONES AND THE released at orgasm, promoting well-
Always maintain a good posture. Sit being and calmness of brain cells, thus
upright with your back absolutely RESTORATIVE PART OF rendering longevity. Mind it, sex has
straight. Take risks and micro-plan YOUR WELL-BEING. no expiry date!
your days business by managing your A recent study found that orgasms
work-life balance. A SOUND, are the spurting fountains of youth.
Be a decision taker for good or for UNINTERRUPTED On heart disease, cancer and
bad. Handle failure or success with environmental causes, the benefits of
equal aplomb and resilience. Be a SLEEP WILL HELP YOU sex are factors in all the three
survivor, never declare yourself a REDUCE categories of men-women mortality
victim! who enjoy orgasm simultaneously
INFLAMMATION, frequently. And many scientists
Healthy lifestyle IMPROVE MEMORY believe that the more sex you have,
Deep sleep develops the ability to
regulate stress hormones and the AND HELP YOU TO
restorative part of your well-being. A CONTROL YOUR
sound, uninterrupted sleep will help
you reduce inflammation, improve
WEIGHT. AVOID HIGH
memory and help you to control your BLOOD PRESSURE.
weight. Avoid high blood pressure.
Eat less salt; otherwise extra water
stored in the body will raise your BP.

the longer you will live. Theres some


evidence to back this claim a Swedish
study done on
70-year-olds who made it to 75 were
the ones still having frequent
stimulating sex. This is a significant
predictor of longevity. We

Do one thing every day that


scares you.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 75


NEW
STORYTELLING APPS
Boredom busters for kids this summer vacation.
By Ramesh Kumar Raja

I
ts the time of the year when
parents are a worried lot about
how to engage their kids during
free time in the summer vacation.
Although some schools offer summer
camps and there are neighbourhood
institutions offering hobby classes,
the long break during this season is
not enough to satisfy their desire for
leisurely activities at home. Even the
parents restrict their little ones from
going out, as the Sun is over the top
which may not good for their health.
In such a situation, storytelling
apps or those imparting moral and
educational values to children could
be of great help to todays parents
who are mostly living in nuclear
families. These apps can be the best
pastime for children getting bored
indoors. With technology fast
becoming an integral part of life from
a very early age, we suggest you to
download children-friendly apps on
your phone/tablet and give the device
to them for a pre-decided time slot
after switching off the Internet. Here
is a list of some most popular apps
available for iOS, Android and
Windows devices.
Bulbul Apps of the world riding the colourful AppyStore
Bulbul Apps was three-wheeler through this app, in Offering variety
founded in 2014 by future. The Bulbul Apps library also for children,
filmmaker Prakash has famous fairytales and other Appystore is India's
Dantuluri so that his bedtime stories, such as Cinderella, first comprehensive
daughter could be Snow White and Pinocchio, in learning app for kids
familiarised with animation format. The size of an aged up to eight years. It keeps your
traditional and regional stories of average story is 20MB, with the little ones engaged and provides
India. It offers a variety of interactive developers currently working on holistic learning through productive
stories and rhymes that are animated bringing it down further to 10MB. edutainment. Apart from popular
and illustrated. The bedtime stories Bulbul Apps has over 50 apps in its fairytales, the app has an Indian
with moral lessons are user-friendly library at present, and the number is Superheroes segment featuring
and children find them attractive. growing. inspiring tales of bravery and wisdom
There are stories from all around the Currently available in English, Hindi of some great Indian icons, such as
world and the app is updated and Telugu, the content will be Rani Laxmibai, Chhatrapati Shivaji,
regularly with new books and stories. available on all major Indian Rajpur warrior kings, and other
The central character in many of the languages in the days to come, freedom fighters. The section also has
stories is Bulbul, the bird who is according to the developers. interesting and informative stories,
curious and constantly in pursuit of
discovering new things.
The app library has something for
every kid aged up to eight. The What
is it series, for example, helps
children learn about animal sounds
and names, while the Baby Bath
Time story has a baby going for a
bath in the tub on her own for the
first time. There is this Potty Potty
story that has infant Tommy in a fix
when his mom runs out of diapers and
asks him to start using the potty. In
Babys First Zoo, the dad takes the
kid to the zoo to answer all her
questions about different animals,
birds and insects. The Mowgli and
Bulbul series has Mowgli, the little
boy raised in the jungle by a bunch of such as the history of the Indian rupee
wolves, and his best friend Bulbul set OFFERING VARIETY and Indus Valley Civilisation, catering
out on their adventures in the jungle.
Bulbul Apps has interpreted the The
FOR CHILDREN, to children aged five to eight. The
AppyStore library also has a collection
Jungle Book classic in a modern way, APPYSTORE IS of rhymes and colouring and alphabet
designing it in the form of an INDIA'S FIRST apps for pre-schoolers. An interesting
interactive ebook application. feature is the Karaoke Rhymes section
It has also introduced the digital COMPREHENSIVE that allows children and parents to
natives to Indian mythology with its LEARNING APP FOR sing along. Every song has the first
Adventures of Krishna series, which is half with voice, and the second half
already a hit with children. The KIDS AGED UP TO repeating the rhyme without voice for
segment is dedicated to the stories of EIGHT YEARS. IT kids to sing along and practice.
little Krishna and his adventures in The app is easy to use and provides
Vrindavan. KEEPS YOUR LITTLE ample space for kids to watch and
It also has a Tuk-Tuk series, a ONES ENGAGED AND learn new things. With 5,000 videos
travel app for kids that helps them classified across 18 learning areas, it
discover a city in an interactive PROVIDES HOLISTIC enables children to improve their
manner. While Tuk-Tuk Goes To LEARNING THROUGH logical thinking with fun puzzles, to
Mumbai happens to be the first learn the importance of physical
product of the series, Tuk-Tuk Goes PRODUCTIVE fitness, to get involved in outdoor
To Hyderabad was launched last year. EDUTAINMENT. activities and to imbibe good socio-
The children can explore more cities emotional values. The app allows

Womans Era July (First) 2017 77


parents to keep a check on their
childs progress in various learning
areas based on the number of videos
viewed. Also, the app offers no ads,
pop-ups or redirects to other
websites or portals. That makes it
totally safe to use for kids, who would
require no additional supervision.
The app works on a subscription-
based payment model and currently
offers three-, six- and nine-month
plans. The app, with videos, can be
accessed through the Appystore web-
portal http://www.appystore.in/

Amar Chitra Katha how Chandragupta Mauryas trusted Anant' narrates to kids how in the
This is for children minister Chanakya had a list of fines Vedas, the relation between diseases
of all ages. Dubbed as for crimes that included defecating or and poor hygiene was highlighted and
ACK Comics, the app urinating in public places. Higher fines Manusmriti prescribed the need for a
offers more than 300 were imposed for doing the same clean body for a clean mind and clean
titles on personalities near temples, the royal palace or a community. The publication also
such as Akbar, water reservoir. In the first elaborate includes true stories about elaborate
Chanakya, Jawaharlal Nehru and JRD story on the traditions of cleanliness systems for ensuring sanitation as
Tata to users. The app has been in the country, storytelling 'uncle early as 2500 years ago during the
developed by App9 Digital Studio, the Indus Valley Civilisation.
digital division of Ninestars STORYTELLER TO The ACK is also working with game

GENERATIONS OF
Information Technologies Pvt. Ltd. developers to tell stories that are in
The digital comic is available in a flip- tune with the times, in an interactive
book mode as well as panel-by-panel INDIANS, THE ACK IN fashion.
mode which is convenient for smaller
devices. Users can download and read COLLABORATION FunDooDaa Books
their comics on multiple devices, WITH THE MINISTRY This is said to be the
using a single user account. Amar
Chitra Katha is one of Indias oldest OF URBAN countrys first
multilingual story app
and most loved comic series. DEVELOPMENT LAST which was launched last year by Chie
Storyteller to generations of Media Pvt. Ltd. FunDooDaa Books is
Indians, the ACK in collaboration with
YEAR CAME OUT WITH an e-library of stories and is meant to
the ministry of urban development A SPECIAL EDITION OF impart learning through stories. This
last year came out with a special app is suitable for kids aged between
edition of a comic book focusing on
A COMIC BOOK two and eight.
Swachh Bharat Mission. The 36-page FOCUSING ON The FunDooDaa Books app is
edition, based on a storytelling format available in different languages and
having five narratives, also refers to
SWACHH BHARAT has stories in English, Hindi, Tamil,
MISSION. Telugu, Malayalam, Kannada, Gujarati,
Marathi and Bengali. Also, there are
stories that will inculcate the Indian
culture and heritage among kids such
as Naana and Naani, Royal Tales and
Legends, etc. The app is aimed to
entertain kids and also make them
learn and communicate in their
mother tongue. The app gives special
emphasis to improving reading skills,
vocabulary, and observational skills of
the kids. We

Life is too short to stress yourself


with people who dont deserve it.

78 Womans Era July (First) 2017


REASONS WHY
One experiences painful sex.
By Himanshu Yadav

W
hat's the one thing that Wrong position to pointless contact which can hurt
quickly flies in your mind You likely believe that you. Set aside an opportunity to turn
when we say sex? Joy, experimenting with new positions is on the warmth and after that put it all
obviously. However, you'd likewise energising and will prompt insane, hot on the line.
concur that with all the delight comes sex. However, do you understand that
a touch of agony also (no, we are not with a wrong position, the entire Theres an infection
discussing BDSM). We have drawn up demonstration won't be as satisfying Genital diseases can in some cases
a rundown of five reasons why sex as it sounds? So, be wary about the cause uncomfortable sex. It can bring
can be painful and how to manage it. stance you pick. about agony in the vagina and you
Sex can turn out to be truly may not be even mindful of it. Do a
difficult if your vagina is not greased Jumping the gun search for indications in such a case;
up enough. For the most part, it is Is it accurate to say that you are it's ideal to be sheltered than
self-greased up. However, there are one of the individuals who doesn't exposed.
times when you are not turned on put stock in "steady-minded
enough, which may cause dryness and individuals winning in the end" Hes really big
in the long run torment. That is when equation? Plunging straight into the There are times when you and your
lubes prove to be useful. activity with no foreplay may prompt partner are not an impeccable match
as far as genital fit is concerned. An
agreeable position or lubes may help
in such cases. We

Be happy while youre living, for


youre a long time dead.
Sthoorryt
S
The Gamble
Would it work? By Ananya Sarkar

T
he moment he took same situation with a few and sweets. Jonaki shifted
his seat next to her others as well. uncomfortably at the
and she could get a It was then that she had thought of having to eat
closer look, she found him called off the idea of an consciously since she was
familiar. But it took a while arranged marriage. wary of being recognised.
for her to recognise him. "I understand that it works Then she was hungry and
Why, it's Mahesh, she soon for most Indian women, ma," eager to take a bite.
realised, recalling one of the she had told her mother. The conductor
past suitors that her parents "But there are also many like approached her. As he held
She feigned a had found for her. She took a me who cannot opt for it for out the plate, the bus
look of surprise, deep breath. What was he a reason like this." swerved and he struggled to
her heart doing here? It made her feel maintain his balance.
thudding hard,
dreading his
uneasy and awkward.
The reason was not hard
to recall. Of all the suitors,
T here was an exasperated
rejoinder, "Is that even a
reason, Jona?" And she had
Mahesh, she noticed,
reached out to him promptly
and steadied him. "Thank
recognition. Are she had found him the most sighed and explained that it, you, sir," the conductor
humorous and easy-going. indeed, was an issue with smiled. He could not have
you? There And they had been able to her. been more than 19 years.
was a pause. easily connect to each other, The ticket in the Volvo "Could you please hand this
Are you Jonaki thanks to their similar tastes AC bus was inclusive of over to madam next to you,"
Gupta? She many things. After a couple snacks. When the bus he said after giving Mahesh
of dates, she had got a rude resumed its journey from his snacks.
squinted her shock and was forced to Sevoke, the conductor was "Sure."
eyes before dismiss all thoughts of seen passing around samosas Jonaki swallowed as he
replying in the marriage with him. Soon, she handed her the thermocol
had realised that the plate. She kept her eyes
affirmative. problem with Mahesh was Yes, lowered. Was he looking at
I remember
not unique. She faced the her? Or was it just her
now.
I had wanted more time
to get to know you before
committing myself. But you
did not want that. You
wanted the wedding date
to be fixed first before
we went on any
further.
imagination? She hurriedly there would be a 15-minute On boarding the bus, truth was that I hardly knew
settled down to eating and halt. Some of the passengers they were struck by an the person you were.
noticed that Mahesh was alighted to flex their limbs. A ungainly quiescence. Yes, I remember now.
meditating on his food. few visited the pay-and-use Perhaps it was the effect of I had wanted more time
Excuse me, he spoke toilet nearby. Jonaki and the newfound knowledge of to get to know you before
slowly, You seem Mahesh got down too and each others personal lives. committing myself. But you
familiarHave we met ordered tea at the nearby Jonaki stared out of the did not want that. You
before? eatery. window at the blue wanted the wedding date to
She feigned a look of So, said Mahesh, hows mountains. The bus picked be fixed first before we went
surprise, her heart thudding your husband? Hes busy, up speed. on any further. What if you
hard, dreading his eh? Jonaki do not like me in the end and
recognition. Are you? She looked up at him She turned towards him. I waste precious months or
There was a pause. Are you coolly. This was expected at Yes? years of my life courting
Jonaki Gupta? She squinted some point. Dont you want to you? you had said. That was
her eyes before replying in I havent married. Tara is marry? I mean in the future? a valid point as I could not
the affirmative. adopted. A few seconds passed guarantee that I would like
Hiremember me? Im He seemed a little before the answer came. you for sure and marry you.
Mahesh Chowdhury. We had baffled. So, youre a single I dont know. Havent given At the same time I could not
met in 2005, I believe mother? Great job! And it much thought. disregard my point of view
I mean, as part of the youve adoptedthats a either. Marrying a person
matchmaking process, he wonderful thing to do. She felt genuinely without knowing him
laughed awkwardly. Now, it She smiled curtly. Thank sympathetic, properly was unthinkable for
was her turn to be you. me. I remember how you had
embarrassed. They sipped their tea in thinking of his told me that nothing could
She pretended to silence. She knew it was now little boy who had offer certainty about
remember. Ah, yes! Well, Id only courteous to ask about lost his mother at marriage, not even years of
never thought Id meet you his wife. In fact, it would be being in a relationship. That
here. So, how are you somewhat rude if she did
such a tender marriage was ultimately a
doing? not. age. How gamble.
He replied that he was on And hows challenging it His brows were furrowed
his way to bring his son home Mrs Chowdhury? in concentration. Now, he
from his boarding school in
must have been looked at her inquisitively.
Mother? Jonaki vaguely
Darjeeling. remembered that she had for Mahesh too! It may be a gamble but
spoken to his mother once. Id still want to test the

S he exclaimed. My
daughter studies there
tooIm on my way to
Was that why he was
mistaken that she was
referring to her?
There was a pause.
Do you think, by any
chance, we could have a life
waters before I step in. At
least Id have the satisfaction
of knowing that I chose to
collect her as well. NoI meant your wife. together? marry the person whom I
Well, thats a Oh he fingered the Mahesh, she said genuinely liked and
coincidence. In which cup languidly. My wife quietly, do you remember appreciated, and not some
standard is your daughter? passed away three years why our match could not random stranger who had
Shes in the first ago. materialise earlier? loved me with his sound
standard. And your son? Imso sorry, she finance alone. Anyway, this
In standard IIII got him
admitted here a couple of
years back.
mumbled.
He sighed. She was
suffering a lot. Squamous
H e seemed to ponder.
I supposeit was
because you wanted the
was the reason why we broke
up the alliance. You were in a
hurry to marry and I was not
I see! she gave a polite cell carcinoma. marriage to take place at a ready.
smile, not knowing what else She felt genuinely later date? Well?
to say. sympathetic, thinking of his Not exactlyI wanted to You know what I found
Luckily for her, Mahesh little boy who had lost his spend more time with you out later? she gave a wry
began a casual conversation mother at such a tender age. and get to know you before I smile. Arranged marriage in
that made it less awkward. How challenging it must gave my word for a long- India does not operate that
They talked about the have been for Mahesh too! term commitment. Im sure way. Prospective grooms
school, its curriculum, Losing his wife, looking after you were accomplished and even brides are eager to
amenities, and the weather his son, bracing the ugly young man from a decent marry and hastily seal their
in Darjeeling. When they blow dealt by life. A wave of family factors that would togetherness with the word
reached Kalljhora, the sympathy swept through qualify you as a very suitable of law. Its been the norm for
conductor announced that her. bachelor. But, you see, the ages and nobody has

Womans Era July (First) 2017 81


questioned it. Then, many You were not willing It might be too late. meet you after so long.
like me find it intriguing. then will you be okay with it He smiled, So you would She shook his hand,
now? I can hardly wait. still like to know me, eh? Take care.

S he took a deep breath


before resuming. Soon
after you get left, I asked my
We have our children
now, Jonaki. How do you
think it would be if they
And I know you would
not be able to spare the time
even now, right?
As they stepped out, the
crisp air greeted them
pleasantly. Jonaki took a
parents to stop looking for came to know that we were Attention! The final stop, deep breath as she headed
matches for me. I could not seeing each other? Marriage Darjeeling is here! The for the taxi stand. Mahesh
accept the concept of a pre- gives a social sanction, thats conductor announced. The looked at the sky and cleared
empted and blind conceding all. You would have all the bus jerked to a halt, and the his throat. We
to something as grave as time to know me after passengers slowly, shuffling
marriage without knowing marriage. alighted their bags and
my spouse properly. Mahesh, she laughed, suitcases.
With a distant gaze, he Thats the whole point Wed better get going, Change is inevitable.
shook his head gently, So I dont want to wait till then. said Jonaki. It was good to Progress is optional.

T
he cutest and warmest time to chatting in portal chatrooms are
get into a relationship is some of the exciting things that you
mainly when we are young and can try with your partner. Dont let
wild. This means that definitely the your method of communication
time will soon come when both turn dull.
the parties would be separated
by distance and thus the Pay more attention to
everyday sweet meetings and your surroundings: While the
gestures would turn into a long- article deals with what all you
distance relationship. But dont should be doing with your
worry. Even though there are partner, it is equally
many doubts regarding the important to understand that
life of a long-distance relationship, the real monotony in a relationship
there are many ways to keep it sets in when you both just pay
happening as well. In fact, a long- attention to each other. Getting
distance relationship can actually more involved or doing fun activities
seem more thrilling when the couple with family and friends actually gives
meets again. Here are a few tips on The way to sustain it. you more things to talk about and
how not to let the spark die out: By Munmun Bhattacharjee brightens your mood before you talk
to your partner.
Dont overdo the phone calls and needs. If your girlfriend wants that you
texts: The moment a normal relation text her when you reach home from Decide your meeting days and
turns into a long-distance one, both gym or stuff like that then do it to swear by it! This is one extremely
the parties feel a sting of pain for not make her feel good. Same, if the important item in long-distance
being able to spend time with their boyfriend likes to see new pictures of relationship. You need to meet! No
loved one. This makes them want to you, then don't be shy and take some matter how far you are, making time
talk to their partners more and more pics with friends when you go out to to meet is the one thing which will
even if they run out of topics to talk have fun and send them to him. Even always lift up your relationship.
about. Dont do this. Set a time to solo selfies might be to his liking. Knowing how hard it was and still
talk to your partner and wait for that Obliging a little to the other partners seeing your partner gathers up all
time to come. Make it limited to one need will make them feel wanted and their energy for just a day or two of
or at most two calls a day. But make special. Thus, unnecessary fights can being together feels like the most
sure that these one or two calls are be avoided. beautiful, precious and exciting
long and satisfying. moment. Being away anyway gives
Be creative: Talking on the phone you more thrill while meeting but
Discuss your needs: Males and and texting is all good. But what about knowing that no matter what, the
females, both have different needs in putting a little fun into the whole plans wont get cancelled is
a relationship and there is nothing thing? something which provides a feeling
wrong or right about it. These are just Playing online games together or even greater than thrill calmness. We

82 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Tips For
New
Moms
Keep them in mind. By Neha Kirpal

reaction it has with her hormones. see if it needs to be changed).


Thus, it is important for the mother to The first three months are the
maintain adequate hygienic most crucial in a babys life. It is at
conditions, and bathe twice a day if this time that the family around him
possible. or her must make sure that he or she
Newborns, on the other hand, do does not catch any infections.
not need a bath immediately, as their Air purifiers are being widely used

N
esting is a primal instinct of a bodies are covered with a thin film by parents across the country. With
bird or animal by which it which acts like a lubricant, pollution and dust everywhere these
builds and prepares a safe and maintaining their bodys temperature. days, their use is being recommended
germ-free environment for the Once the umbilical cord has fallen off, by doctors as well. Remember, the
protection of its offspring who is they can take their first bath. child has come from a safe and secure
going to come into the world. Vaccinations straight after birth environment of the mothers stomach
Human beings are known to have are important to take as they protect into the big, bad world outside! So,
such nesting tendencies as well, the baby against diseases that he or we need to try and make the air
which they do by way of cleaning and she may get from the new around him or her as clean and pure
baby-proofing the house. environment. There are no side- as possible even if it is for a few hours
Experts have pointed out some effects to the vaccinations prescribed every day.
tips that new mothers should keep in by the government, and the World Let your baby listen to some
mind when preparing for the arrival of Health Organisation has declared the soothing Indian or Western classical
a newborn into the home. Some of mercury level in them within music at all times. This is great for the
these are: permissible limits. babys brain, and various benefits
Our hands and respiratory system Babies need lots of sleep. This have been reported as a result of it. It
are two of the major sources of makes sure that they grow in the also helps soothe and calm the baby,
infection. So, we should make sure desired manner. After the initial few and makes him or her less cranky or
that we thoroughly wash our hands days, it is wise to try and develop the irritable.
and make it rid of all organic matter right kind of sleep training as far as Finally and most importantly, the
as well as use a hand sanitiser before possible. mother should keep herself well-fed
handling an infant. Since premature The ABC rule for diapers is an and cheerful, before anything else.
babies have a weaker immune important one to memorise. A: (Air The babys state of mind often
system, we need to be even more the babys bottoms for a while daily reflects that of his or her mothers.
careful around them. to make sure that he or she gets no So, if she is unwell or unhappy, the
The first few days of the mothers rashes), B: Barrier (apply some butt child will also be like her. We
milk is paramount, as the child gets a paste or zinc oxide cream to the
lot of immunity from breast milk. childs bottom whenever you change The best things in life are unseen
However, breastfeeding makes the his/her diaper), and C: Check (the thats why we close our eyes when
mother sweat a lot due to the diaper every three to four hours to we kiss cry and dream.

84 Womans Era July (First) 2017


The truth about
Slimming and Exercise
Facts you should know. By Trippayar Sahasranaman Priyaa

E
very woman loves to be praised consumes the muscle, after which it
for her beautiful figure. Oh my only consumes the stored fat, and as
goodness! you have lost we all know fat is very light oil floats
weight is a sentence that could set on water while muscle is heavy. So,
the wings of your heart on fire, at any by going on your diet, you have of
point of time in your life. We see course, lost weight, but most likely
young girls, women post pregnancy, not lost the stored fat in your body.
women in their fifties all resorting to You can still see the loose flesh
crash diets, detoxifying drinks and around your stomach (which looks a
intense cardio, just to see low little flatter than before the diet), and
numbers when they stand on the hanging bat wings beneath your arms
scales. A lot of people believe that and thighs, which are all actually fat.
low weight would mean less chance In this way, your bones have
of heart disease, diabetes or even become weaker as the layer of muscle
hypothyroidism. But is this all true? Is around them that primarily protected
slimming the right way to keep them is gone. You might feel lighter
healthy? Over years of struggling to and fitter temporarily, but the muscle
build muscle and cut out the fat from you have lost could mean a lot to you
my so-called slim body, I have come in the long run.
to realise that my previous notion
of a healthy body was totally Whats wrong if I lose muscle?
wrong. Here are some things Muscle (the tight flesh) in the body
that every woman needs to tends to burn more calories than the
know about weight loss. fat of your body. So by losing your
muscle your metabolism becomes
When you go on a slower, and you would be able to burn
crash diet and five kilos fewer calories than before although
fall off your scale your size has shrunk. Also as your
within a month and muscle grows, it cuts out the fat. As a
your dress seems result, the flesh becomes tight and
leser, have you sticks to your bones, protecting them.
actually become While this happens i.e. when the
fitter? muscle builds your weight might
The answer is increase, but so does your fitness
mostly, no. If your level.
crash diet
comprised fruits, Even after a severe workout why
and very less carbs hasnt my flab reduced?
(rice, wheat, ragi, etc) Each body has its own sequence of
which most crash diets gaining fat and losing fat. For women,
do, your system might fat accumulates on the thighs, back,
have detoxified a little and then the stomach in most cases.
but there are very slim So when you are losing fat (by
chances that you have lost building muscle/after losing muscle),
the fat in your body. you may first lose it on your thighs,
When starved or in need then the back and, at last, the
of food, the body first stomach. For men the sequence is
different as they first tend to or six days a week and has one day of What kind of food intake is
accumulate fat around the stomach. rest is definitely healthier than a required how much protein, carbs
So even after months of workout person who exercises all seven days a and fat per day?
and dieting the fat around your week. The amount of protein a normal
stomach might be lost at last i.e. The torn muscles need rest and human needs is about his or her
after toning your thighs and arms in protein intake to repair themselves. weight in grams i.e. if you weigh 60
most cases if you are a woman. That is why when you work on your kg around 60 gm of protein intake
Apart from these, stomach biceps on say Monday, you would be daily is the minimum recommended
bloating may make your stomach look advised to work on some other part amount for anybody. Your diet should
bigger. Also, women lose a bit of of your body (preferably the lower also contain good fats like
weight during menstruation. The body) the next day as your biceps almonds/walnuts or food rich in
stomach gets a little bloated just would develop well only if given 48 omega 3 fatty acids and sufficient
before the bleeding starts and then it hours of rest to repair. The usual cycle carbohydrates and vitamins. The point
becomes a little smaller. Women may of workout has alternating days of to be noted is that exercise tones the
notice their paunch getting a little upper body and lower body exercise muscles, but muscles are built only
flatter once their monthly period gets and cardio in between. depending on the food intake.
over. Everything takes time, so For example, biceps and back on A diet change is essential for a
persistent workout and good diet Monday, cardio and lower body on change in the body, but diet should
would make your body lose fat over a Tuesdays, chest and triceps on never deplete the body of its basic
period of six months to one year. Wednesdays, cardio and abs on nutrients proteins, carbs, fats and
Thursdays and lower body on Fridays. vitamins. Only the ratio of unhealthy
Isnt cardio enough to make me But the exercises prescribed by a fats and carbs to the rest should be
slimmer? trainer might vary according to ones lowered.
Some exercise is definitely better need and body. The lower body
than no exercise. During cardio, the contains huge muscles, so a Dont muscular women look
masculine and bulky?
Women do not tend to build bulky
muscles similar to men as female
bodies do not have much of the male
hormone testosterone. Testosterone
helps muscles bulk up more giving a
heavier and bulgy look to the arms,
legs and thighs. It is rare, unless in
extreme cases, that women become
bulky by muscle building. So even if
you have been doing weights and
building muscles, you will most
probably not look bulky even after a
years time.
Overall, a change in the body is a
body needs energy and the first combination of squats and lunges result of good diet and exercise. For a
source of energy it consumes comes would do wonders to your body. fit body and a voluptuous figure,
from your muscles. Though cardio or women need to work on their muscle
any kind of exercise definitely Why do some people build muscle building to cut out the fat. It is a
promotes blood circulation and keeps faster than others? wrong notion that a thin body is a
your cells young, only cardio might The rate at which one builds healthy body. On the contrary, a thin
not be what you are looking for if you muscle or loses fat depends on body may have more accumulated fat
want a healthy body in the long run. several factors like metabolism, age, to muscle ratio than a bigger, fat
Weight training on three days and diet and body type. A cow eats mostly body.
cardio two days a week definitely grass and green leafy vegetables but So, dont lose the muscle, ladies, it
leads to a healthier body than just its body has so much of fat due to its does a lot for you in the long run.
cardio. Adequate protein intake after metabolism. Factors like diabetes and Build it and stay fit. We
cardio would help to regain the muscles hypothyroidism slow down the rate at
lost during the process of exercise. which the body burns fat. Also the
rate at which our body builds muscles
Should one exercise on all seven decreases with age and lack of The moment youre ready to quit is
days a week? activity. So, muscle-build and fat-burn usually the moment right before the
No. A person who exercises on five vary from person to person. miracle happens.

88 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Sthoorryt
S
The Curious
Incident
of Hacking
Loss and profit. By Sona Maniar

E
veryone in the East Battling with her long Double bollocks. All
End knew that Jacob tresses, she reached out to right, Im onto it.
Thornton was a answer the phone.

Thornton was a
successful real estate
developer, but the ones who
worked for him also knew
Adrian, its just 6.30!
What on earth is so
pressing? she practically
A s head of Media, Mandy
Maine was responsible
for the corporate
big man in his late that he was a painful bastard. screamed. communications and also the
sixties who had Mandy was to discover this Mandy, the company corporate website. She
first-hand. website has been hacked. immediately logged onto the
taken over his It was 6.30 on Monday Bollocks! website. To her alarm, she
familys ailing morning when the phone Also, old boy Thornton is found that instead of the
construction rang loud and clear, causing aware of it. staid blue and white page
her to leap out of bed. with neat sections on
business and
business, projects, and
single-handedly financials, there was a
built it into a picture of chubby old
prolific property Thornton holding up a
placard that had the word
empire with Biz cancelled and Piss
projects dotted scribbled below it. After her
across the length initial shock had waned, she
and breadth of
the country.
Adrian,
its just 6.30! What
on earth is so pressing?
she practically screamed.
Mandy, the company
website has been
hacked.
IVF
W hen prospective parents who are unable to conceive a child on their
own consult me for assistance, I am excited to help them build their
families. But for them, dealing with the challenges of infertility can be as
stressful as having cancer. They are having lot of questions in their mind.

Myths and
Most of the questions are related to myths associated with procedure of IVF.
It is very important for couple to understand the procedure. At KJIVF, it is our
practice to take a detailed counselling session before starting the actual
procedure. They are encouraged to ask questions. This helps in clearing lot of

Facts
doubts and reducing the stress which increases the chances of conception.
Following are some of the concerns which are common to most patients.

Is IVF needed for me? embryo transfer is often compared to a


IVF was originally developed for women PAP smear. It is a rapid procedure (5 min)
with blocked tubes or missing fallopian that is performed with no sedation unless
tubes and it is still the procedure of choice medically required or requested.
for these situations. It is also used when
other conditions are present, including If I live out of town, how long do I have to
endometriosis, male factor infertility and stay at the clinic?
unexplained infertility in which no medical At KJIVF, We care for many patients who
cause for infertility can be found. We, at come for treatment from other parts of
KJIVF, will review your history and help to India and overseas. All initial consultations
guide you to the treatment and diagnostic can be done by telephone (medical, nurse
procedures that are most appropriate for coordinator, financial), and communication
you. with KJIVF staff throughout your treatment
can be via telephone). Many of the required
Will the hormones cause long-term health screening blood tests and procedures can Dr (Prof ) Kuldeep Jain
risks? be coordinated with your local Director, KJIVF and Laproscopy Centre,
Many patients are having a serious gynaecologist. On the average, most Delhi.
concern and delay the treatment because patients need to visit our clinic for 5 days.
of fear of cancer. While the long-term study IVF stimulation. We know that it can take
is still under way and needs another 5-10 Can I travel or should I leave my job? up to 6 weeks for inflammation to resolve.
years of follow-up to be conclusive, Many of our patients have to travel Therefore, it is reasonable to wait for a
preliminary results suggest no association various distances to return home after similar amount of time before restarting the
between fertility medications and risks of treatment. Car travel is also fine. Sitting for process. However, mental, physical and
invasive cancers. At this time, we can say an extended period of time will not affect financial factors are considered before
that there is no direct evidence that fertility chances of pregnancy. If you live out of starting a fresh cycle.
drugs play a causal role in increasing a town, most patients return home the day
womans risk of invasive ovarian, breast or after the transfer if there is no medical What are advances which can give me
uterine cancer. reason to stay any longer. We encourage improved chances?
our patients to continue job. In fact, it helps Preparing the endometrium by
Will my baby suffer birth defects? in destressing after embryo transfer. hysteroscopy, newer medications and
It is important to recognise that the rate individualised protocols, prolonged culture
of birth defects in humans in the general What are my chances of pregnancy with to blastocyst, individualized transfers and
population is about 3% of all births for major frozen embryos? vitrification are some of the advances which
malformations and 6% if minor defects are In general, the success of frozen-thawed are routinely offered to increase chances of
included. Fortunately, 20-plus years embryo transfer procedures depends on 3 success at KJIVF.
following Louise Browns birth (the first IVF things: the quality and survival of the frozen-
baby), we now have ample data that thawed embryos, the age of the patient My husbands sperms are not available but I
children conceived through IVF have no who produced the eggs, and the uterus of dont want to use donor. Can some thing
increase in these rates of birth defects. the woman receiving the embryos. At our be done?
Further follow-up on older children indicates centre the result is almost same. We at Surgical sperm retrival by PESA / TESA is
that IVF children have done as well or better KJIVF have extensive experience routinely offered to retrieve sperms in such
than their peers in academic achievement . coordinating these types of cycles, and have cases and all attempts are made to use
In my practice of more than 20 years and a very successful FET programme. patients own sperms even in cases where
more than 3000 pregnancies , we have not biopsys has shown absence of sperms and
seen an extra increase in congenital Is complete bed rest recommended after many patients are able to get parenthood
malformations. the embryo transfer? with their own sperms.
This is popular myth with no scientific
Is the procedures painful? basis. We recommend that you take it easy The Sooner, the Better
No, The only procedure that could be following transfer for the rest of the day. As you can see, several exciting
considered minor surgery in the IVF process But routine work activities can be resumed developments are enhancing the success of
is the retrieval of the eggs from the ovary. the next day. No bed rest is advised routinely IVF. However, if you have fertility issues, the
During this procedure a needle attached to and you can resume your routine from next best thing you can do to increase your
a vaginal ultrasound probe is passed day. Exception is OHSS where bed rest is chances of getting pregnant and having a
through the wall of the vagina and into each advised till the condition is resolved. child is to seek fertility counselling earlier
ovary. A light anaesthetic is administered rather than later. Since you are born with
intravenously prior to retrieving your eggs, How long of a wait is recommended all the eggs you will ever produce, and the
which wears off quickly after the between a failed IVF cycle and trying again? egg supply dwindles as you age, the sooner
procedure.and patient goes home within 4 We recommend waiting one full you seek assistance, the more likely we will
hours. In pain or discomfort terms, an menstrual cycle before undergoing another be able to help you.
Dr Kuldeep Jains, IVF & Laparoscopy Centre (Test Tube Baby Centre)
23-24, Gagan Vihar, Main Road (Near Karkardooma Flyover), Delhi-51. Ph: 22503927, 65253282.
Email: drjain@kjivf.com. website: www.kjivf.com
For more information and assistance you can visit us at: www.kjivf.com
burst into laughter at the place. Given that the But I dont even know cool and clear night, as the
naughty joke. Then, corporate website is your your name. moonrays streamed gently
straightening herself up, she domain, dont expect any You dont need to. I also into the hotel room, she got
dived into sorting out the bonus this year. Ill deal with happened to hack into out of the bed, where Remi,
mess. She had the software IT separately. Thorntons computer a few her French date lay sprawled
engineers cleaning up the Mr Thornton, this is days ago. I have some across, bare. She paced up to
site and within 20 minutes, it most,Mandy opened her information that could be the window and looked out.
was back to its normal self. mouth to protest this unfair useful to you. The waters of the river Seine
Still, the matter was far from ruling. But Thornton Mandy continued to stare flowed serenely in the night
over. Thornton would be sure dismissed her protests by a at him dumbfounded. and one could spot the Eiffel
to confront her on this mere wave of his hand. And Thornton is about to Tower looking majestic in
subject. with that, her plans for a report a steep loss and future the distance. Below the
holiday in Paris evaporated earnings warning at the window, there were a few

T hornton was a big man in


his late sixties who had
taken over his familys ailing
swiftly, leaving behind a
sense of sickly disgust.
At 36, when most women
investors meeting next
week. It will cause the share
price to slide. Youll be better
passers-by, when Mandy
noticed a figure standing
under the streetlight. He
construction business and her age would be busy served if you sell your shares seemed somewhat familiar,
single-handedly built it into a running after their little ones, in Thornton Enterprises right young looking and dressed in
prolific property empire with Mandy just sat by herself in now. a casual pair of jeans. Could
projects dotted across the the hole-in-the-wall, With that, Mr Thingummy that be the unknown hacker?
length and breadth of the drowning her woes and slid off the bar stool and She couldnt tell.
country. But in his advance, dreams and spirit in pints of headed out of the bar. Long
he had managed to rub a
load of people the wrong
way to the extent that the
house beer. Her boyfriend
had dumped her the previous
summer and since then she
after he was gone, Mandy
still sat in the hole-in-the-
wall, drinking and mulling
N ext morning, when
Mandy went for a walk,
she saw that unknown
band of folks who disliked or had spent all her free events over till her thoughts hacker standing next to a
grudged him could easily moments planning a trip to became difficult to dissect in flower shop. Hey! You
rival the size of the army of a Paris in the hope of a new any coherent way. are..., she still couldnt
third-world country. romance. Now with the She woke up the next day recognise that familiar face.
Back in the office, bonus gone, Mandy felt as with a terrible hangover. By Yes! I am the same person,
Thornton was least amused though the general afternoon, when her the unknown hacker, he
by this hack. sweetness had been wrung headache had mostly said.
Mandy, look at the sheer out of her life. She was subsided, she decided on a Thanks for disclosing
audacity of someone trying weighing up her options, clear agenda to sell her about Thorntons loss, I sold
to trespass Thornton when her thoughts were stock options in Thornton all my shares and made lots
Enterprises! Thornton interrupted by a deep male and find herself another job. of profit, Maudy said. But
bellowed, his nostrils flaring voice. Any thoughts about why did you hack the
wide in displeasure. Sorry. You werent the reporting Thorntons website?, she added.
Mr Thornton, weve intended victim of the hack, computer hack got shoved I now realise that I did
strengthened the firewalls in he said. aside. wrong. After all, who am I to
the system. The IT head has Sure enough, as the punish Thornton. I was
assured me that a repeat of
this kind would be
impossible, Mandy
S he looked up to find a
young man in his early
thirties, dark hair and a
young man had stated,
Thornton went on to report a
loss and lowered the
happy seeing his loss initially
but now I have understood
that no happiness lasts for
explained in an attempt to stubble, dressed in a casual earnings guidance at the long if it comes through
pacify Thornton. pair of jeans, settling onto a next investors meet. The someones loss. The divine is
Why would someone do bar stool next to her. market reacted adversely right up there to balance our
such a thing? You dont know me, but I but, because of her timely lives with profits and losses,
There could be a few used to work for Thornton sale, Mandy was adequately he said and started walking.
theories to explain this. and the hack was my way at shielded. In the final analysis, There was a change in the
Bragging rights, or perhaps getting back at him. she realised that the profit breeze instantly and Mandy
simply mischief, Mandy Ah, so it was the case of a she made from the sale of went back to the hotel. We
replied. disgruntled former the stock options far
Somebody is trying to employee, after all. exceeded any bonus amount
put me down, he said Knowing Thornton, hell that she may have received.
Pay less attention to what
wagging his finger. Mandy, probably penalise you for Later that summer,
people say and more
I do not like the fact that the this. Id like to make it up to Mandy was in Paris for her
attention to what they do.
hack happened in the first you. much-awaited vacation. On a

92 Womans Era July (First) 2017


T
he uterine cavity is lined by a
specialised mucous membrane
called, endometrium, which
undergoes cyclic change of the
menstrual cycle regulated by ovarian
hormones. The purpose of this is to
prepare a soft bed for the incoming
fertilised ovum to implant and grow.
Menstruation represents the
rolling back, breaking down and
casting off of this bed (secretary
endometrium) prepared for a
pregnancy which does not materialize
and so is sometimes described as,
the weeping of a disappointed
uterus with bloody tears.

A medical problem
women should be
aware of.
By Dr B.L. Nagpal

Definitions
Endometriosis is defined as
the presence of ectopic
endometrium in any situation
outside its normal location,
namely, the lining of the cavity
of the uterine body. It is of two
types:
Endometriosis interna, also
called adenomyosis, is
characterised by a deep invasion of
a muscular layer (myometrium) by
islets of endometrium from the basal
layer.
Endometriosis externa, in which
there is a formation of endometrium-
like masses, also called as
endometriomas, in a variety of places
in the female pelvis and abdominal
cavity.
It is rare to find both the types to
be present together in the same
patient provided strict diagnostic
criteria are observed. They arise in
different ways and finding of one type
is almost certain in the absence of the
other.
The ectopic endometrium endomeriosis externa was due to cyclical changes characteristic of
responds to the stimulus of oestrogen implantation of living endometrial menstruation. However, there is no
and to a lesser degree of cells on the surface of the ovary and outlet for its menstrual discharge and
progesterone and bleeds periodically. pelvic peritoneum. These cells were blood and debris collect within the
The evidence sites where supposed to be cased into the uterine tissues to from a cyst. With each
endometriosis externa cavity during menstruation, pass menstrual episode, the collection
(endometriomas) are found as follow: along the tubes (backward flow of increases in size but continued
One or both ovaries, tubes, outer menstrual discharge) and finally settle absorption of some of the fluid
surface of uterus, pelvic peritoneum, and grow at the site of future lesion content causes the blood to become
pouch of Douglas, uterovesical pouch, from these primary lesion, there may inspissated and dark coloured or
uterosacral ligaments, rectovaginal be secondary scatter. chocolate coloured cyst.
septum, rectum, intestines, bladder,
cervix, umbilicus, hernia sac and even Metaplasia of serosal cell theory Pathology
far away like thigh, arm, pleura etc. According to this theory, The uterus in adenomoyosis
endometriosis externa results from shows symmetrical enlargement all
Evidence the metaplastic change (change of though, one wall may be thicker than
The evidence of present or past one type of cell into another) of the other. Sometimes a localised area
endometriosis is found in about 10-20 peritoneal mesothelium. It postulates of adenomyosis is seen in a small
per cent of laparotomies carried out that embryonic cells capable of region of the uterus where it may be
by a gynaecologist. In our own study, indistinguishable from a fibroid.
carried out on 500 hysterectomy Occasionally small collections of
specimens, endometriosis was blood with dark red colour can be
detected in 26 per cent of the cases. seen in the myometrium.
In the endometriosis, multiple
Aetiology chocolate coloured cysts are present
The aetiology and pathogenesis of on the ovaries, tubes, uterus,
endometriosis is poorly understood. It ligaments and several other sites in
is a disease of those decades of a the pelvis and abdominal cavity. These
womans life in which ovarian activity cysts are of variable size with an
is at its height (30-40 years). Bisected uterus showing symmetrical
average diameter of 2-4 cms. The
enlargement, thickening of wall and two
Endometriosis is unknown before large rounded dark brown areas and a few
affected ovaries and tubes are
puberty and active disease is tiny similar areas in the myometrium on prolapsed and fixed to the back of the
extremely rare after menopause. microscopic examination, these areas uterus, broad ligaments and other
Hence it may almost be regarded as a were made up of endometrial glands, structures with dense adhesions.
disease caused by prolonged stroma, fresh blood and evidence of old Microscopic examination of the
hyperoestrinism. The rich and higher hemorrhage. affected areas shows endometrial
social classes are affected most glands, stroma, fresh blood and
because they marry late and restrict peritoneal mesothelium. It postulates evidence of old blood.
pregnancy. Genetic factors can also that embryonic cells capital of
operate as endometriosis affecting differentiating into uterine cells Symptoms and signs
more than one family member has remain in and around the peritoneum The clinical features depend on the
been observes. of the pelvis and surface epithelium of location and extent of disease. Minor
ovaries. degree of endometriosis may be
Pathogenesis (mechanism of asymptomatic.
origin) Lymphatic and vascular In almost all cases of adenomyosis,
Endometriosis interna embolism theory the presenting complaint is of
(adenomyosis): As per established Small fragments of endometrium irregular and excessive bleeding
view, it results from the downgrowth break off and enter the lymph vessels (menorrhagia) of a severe degree and
of cells of the basal layer of and blood vessels and are carried to about half the cases also complain of
endometrium. distant places where they are arrested heaviness in the pelvis which is worse
Endometriosis externa: Of the and from endometriosis. in the premenstrual phase. Infertility
many theories put forward to explain Once the endometrial cells are is also a common symptom. On
endometriosis, only three are worth shifted from their normal site, these examination, there is symmetrical
consideration. still require other factors to survive enlargement of the uterus.
and proliferate. One of the most The classical symptom of pelvic
Implantation theory important of these is oestrogen. endometriosis is pain during
Sampson of Albany, USA, was the An islet of endometriosis responds menstruation (dysmenorrhoea). The
first to suggest in 1921 that to hormonal stimuli resulting in pain comes on gradually for a few

96 Womans Era July (First) 2017


days before menses and may reach tender indurated masses especially if after pregnancy and after menopause
maximum at the end of menses. carried at the onset of menses. provides the basis of medical
Thereafter, pain subsides slowly but treatment using a variety of hormone
may not disappear completely Diagnosis therapies like contraceptive pills. Pain
between the periods. Any woman Ultrasound examination and MRI killers (NSAID) may be needed during
over 30 years who suddenly develops are of limited value. The diagnosis is menses.
congestive dysmenorrhoea should confirmed on laparoscopy. A laparoscopic ablation of
suggest a diagnosis of endometriosis. endometriomas along with uttering
Deep-seated pain on coitus Treatment nerve ablation significantly reduces
(dyspareunia) is also a common The treatment of endometriosis the symptoms. Women who no longer
symptom. varies with the site, extent and desire children can be treated with
The exact site of pain depends on symptoms of disease along with age total abdominal hysterectomy alone
the site of lesion, with multiple lesions of the patient, if the endometriomas with bilateral salpingo -
in the pelvis, it is a deep-seated, dull are small and multiple and producing oophorectomy (TAH-BSO)
ache, appreciated in the region of few symptoms, these may be left
mid-pelvis and referred to the lumber alone. They sometimes become Prognosis
region, rectum and lower abdomen. A inactive after a time. The prognosis for reproductive
sudden acute attack of pain A majority of women suffering function in early or moderately
simulating appendicitis may occur due from endometriosis are sterile and advanced endometriosis is good with
to rupture of a cyst. Sterility is spontaneous cure occurs if pregnancy conservative treatment. TAH-BSO is
common. Other symptoms like pain supervenes. Hence the patient should curative for patients with severe and
on defecation, dysuria, haematuria, be encouraged for that and appropriate extensive disease. We
general ill health and off and on fever procedures should be undertaken in
may be present. the hope of facilitating conception. Believe you can and youre
Pelvic examination may reveal Amelioration of endometriosis halfway there.

She taught me!


With grave thoughts and teary eyes
I stood on the porch, staring at the twilight skies
A couple of days ago, I saw a poor heart
Feeling rotten in love, almost getting ripped apart
Perhaps an abandoned baby!
Not yet matured to process the world
But matured enough to forgive the bad.
What does a two-years-old baby girl know
About her mom and her dad?
Pushing the thoughts aside, I turned back.
For once and forever, I knew,
A babys smile is the purest thing on Earth ever found.
Theres magic in her smile! I guess, I found myself too smiling
I approached her and wondered whether,
So bright had the sun ever been shining.
What do you think, world?
If you hurt a girl, she will just cry out loud and roll?
If you think so you are wrong, absolutely wrong.
She will be strong,
Whatll be screaming... Just her soul.
Thank you, dear, youve taught me
When everythings against me, I wont flee
I would rather roar with courage, Oh yeah? Try me.
Pranavi Sreesa.

98 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Pregnancy And an overview
A sthma is a chronic lung condition.
During pregnancy asthma can affect
both mother and babys health.
Knowing facts about asthma and
pregnancy can prevent serious more if asthma medication advice is
complications, including death. not followed. Oral steroids has been
Poorly controlled severe asthma linked with increased risk of
poses many risks during pregnancy complications in mother and baby
like severe morning sickness, vaginal Reliever/rescue medications
bleeding, high blood pressure with or needs to be started at home if there
without damage to other organs like is an asthma flareup. Symptoms
kidneys, complicated labour, encountered in an asthma flare up
premature birth, low birth weight or are breathlessness, cough, tightness
sometimes intrauterine death of in chest, wheezing or laboured
foetus/baby. breathing. If an asthma flare-up
Asthma is further classified occurs, mother should become Dr A K Singh
according to the severity of attentive of foetal activity and if less MBBS, MD, European Diploma in
symptoms into four classes. Asthma activity is observed, urgent medical Respiratory Medicine (EDRM),
FCCP (USA)
may get better, remain same or advice should be sought.
worsen with pregnancy. Worsening Most of the moms are worried
is observed more commonly, when about that whether asthma is being Dos & dont of asthma in
the asthma is severe. The symptoms passed on to baby or not? There is a pregnancy:
being worse in third trimester of risk of allergy running in family as it Ask about Asthma Action Plan
pregnancy. does have a genetic predisposition from your chest physician.
Asthma medications are usually too. Smoking mothers children have Avoid asthma triggers like dust
safe during pregnancy. Most a 3-6 times more likelihood of having mites, smoking, cockroach
measures used to control asthma are severe asthma and fourfold higher antigen, animal dander, molds,
not harmful to the developing baby risk of having severe asthmatic etc.
and do not appear to contribute to episode requiring emergency visits Treat allergic nasal symptoms
either miscarriage or birth defects. and admission. High levels of and gastroesophageal reflux
Inhalers remain the mainstay of exposure to electromagnetic fields (GERD) promptly.
treatment with minimum sideeffect on (EMF) including from microwaves, Get a flu shot (flu vaccine)
baby. There are two kinds of hair dryers and power lines can either in first, second or third
medications in inhaler: Reliever and lead to a threefold higher rate of trimester.
Controller. Mainstay in any asthma asthma compared to those whose Get an ultrasound to detect any
treatment is inhaled corticosteroids. moms had the lowest exposure. foetal growth restriction at 32
Unlike oral corticosteroids, inhaled Vitamin C, vitamin D, antioxidants, weeks.
are safe to use for both mother and fish oil derived fatty acid (Omega 3) Don't stop taking the medication
baby. Not taking asthma medications may reduce wheeze and asthma in or adjust the dosage on your
or changing the routine of asthma offspring. But we need to understand own.
medications may worsen the more about it. Is nutrition really too Dont stop allergy shots if taking
symptoms and it may cause lowering much of a good thing? Nutrional before pregnancy.
of oxygen levels in baby. Oral supplements dont come with all Dont start allergy shots during
steroids, which are life-saving in benefits and no risk. Excess of pregnancy if not already on it.
emergency situations, are required vitamin A, E, D, all in fish oil, can be Dont use microwave, hair dryer
harmful for foetus. One should not and vacuum cleaners.
take any of supplements without Dont stop breastfeeding if you
consulting a gynaecologist. are on medications.
Future may give us a chance to
get in personalised medical treatment
by actually taking a small drop of The target goal in treating asthma
blood, check a woman's blood levels in pregnancy is preventing asthma
and then we can actually do a attacks and thus ensuring adequate
diagnostic and target nutrition oxygen delivery to the baby. In a
intervention based on what the well-controlled asthma patient,
mother's eating and prevent diseases outcome of pregnancy is excellent for
in new born. both mother and baby.

Charak Hospital & Research Centre, Near Safed Masjid, Dubagga, Hardoi Road, Lucknow, U.P.
For appointment: Mob: +91 9919040000, 8005044444, E-mail: thechestclinic123@gmail.com
PHOBIAS Check with a psychologist.
By I.M. Soni
the character of the girl made matters immediate. That last named is the
worse, not better. case, said he, with a thump of the fist
Shaken by the discovery that his which made the teacups bounce.
parents wisdom averted a double Since parents are by no means as
disaster, the young man made the possessive as we are led to believe,
fatal mistake of relying upon them in the last-named is, more often than

T
he young man stood aside from all decisions relating to his personal not the case.
the crowds pouring into the life fatal because once a human Claustrophobia of long standing
station. Reluctantly he turned being glimpses a life beyond the presents a more difficult problem.
away to join a bus queue, knowing all parental home, he is never the same From adolescence the child is pulled
too well that if he were to travel by again. For the first time he feels two ways reaching out for the
train he would panic. trapped in his limited environment, allurements and responsibilities of
The fear of being trapped in an but much as he longs to enlarge his adult life, yet trapped by an emotional
enclosed space is one of those scope he dare not take the plunge. dependence upon the family. This is
phobias which requires a radical Acute claustrophobia of recent specially true for the youngest son, or
change of outlook. The victims real origin can often be traced to this type daughter, of a large family whose
dread is not of a physical trap but of of situation. It is by no means father died perhaps before his birth.
being trapped by life, of being buried incurable. As soon as the victim Long after he has reached years of
alive under a suffocating influence realises he has allowed himself to discretion, this child can be thwarted
usually within the family circle. become childishly dependent upon his at every turn by the well-meant advice
The young man in question lives parents superior judgement, he is of brothers and sisters.
with his parents. Until recently he was freed, almost miraculously, from his These claustrophobia patients do
content with this arrangement, painful symptom. He does not, of not necessarily stay at home. Often
enjoying leisure hours in the company course, care to admit that the cure lies they hold responsible posts and
of friends with no interference from within himself, protesting that he is appear self-responsible. They travel
his father or mother. One day, out of needed at home or that he is anxious by public vehicles or work in a room
the blue, an opportunity came for to avoid hurting the feelings of those with the door closed. In churches
work which would take him away whose affection for him is beyond classrooms and cinemas, they are
from home. The post was attractive, dispute. careful to sit at the end of a row near
but on his fathers advice, he turned A man well over 40 in the throes of the exit. Social calls are anathema. In
down the offer. At the same time he claustrophobia advanced the plan addition, they may suffer from severe
gave up his girl because of mothers that his mother could not live without vomiting.
disapproval of his choice of a possible him. He was, however, an honest, They are, in fact, torn in two by an
wife. The fact the firm he was to have forthright person and when it was insoluble conflict between the urge to
joined went bankrupt and that events suggested that in fact he could not become mature adults. One youngest
justified his mothers suspicions about live without her, his response was daughter dreamed that she was

100 Womans Era July (First) 2017


unable to escape from a locked room. of an uneventful existence by going be at the root of this trying condition,
Outside her parents and brothers and out to a job. One only-daughter the victim being too disillusioned
sisters were laughing at her. In short, whose life was devoted to the service about life to venture forth a second
they would not take her seriously or of a mother well able to take care of time.
admit that at the age of 22 she was herself, lived by the principle that A young woman who had not
capable of looking after herself. Mother comes first: and because walked alone beyond the garden gate
Even so, there is a remedy for this she was sure of this she experienced since she was eight was found to have
state of affairs. Young people, unsure no conflict between parental unrealistic notions about human
of them, often make the mistake of authority and the attractions of a nature. For instance, her conception
arguing when there is nothing to wider life, and therefore no of the married state did not extend
argue about. Too easily on the claustrophobia. beyond the altar, where she saw
defensive, they betray a sense of guilt Trouble arises when a daughter, or herself robed in white and a sheaf of
in opposing the wishes of those who son, begins to doubt (not consciously), white flowers and accompanied by an
claim to know what is best for them. whether family life should take impeccably attired, shadowy
precedence over all else. There are, of bridegroom. The end came when a
NOT BETTER THAN US
woman she greatly admired was cited
as correspondent in a divorce suit.
Our elders, however, are not From that time she retreated, as it
necessarily our betters and, in any were, into the womb, safe from the
case, they are generally sporting welter of experience which comes to
enough to accept a situation once it is every adult who takes his or her
clear that the baby of the family is rightful place in society.
quietly determined to go his, or her, Temporary agoraphobia is not
own way, a statement of intention uncommon after serious illness or
made calmly and dispassionately, sudden bereavement when an
need not hurt anyones feelings and individual needs time to recover from
it can go a long way towards clearing physical or emotional strain.
up claustrophobic symptoms. In general, however, agoraphobia,
Moreover, courage operates at like claustrophobia, demands a radical
both the conscious and unconscious
levels. A young woman, faced with
EVEN SO, THERE IS A change of outlook. The victims have
lost their nerve, but to force
the alternative of walking through a REMEDY FOR THIS STATE themselves to travel that certain
short tunnel or taking a circuitous cliff OF AFFAIRS. YOUNG distance from home is of no value
walk lost patience with her unless, at the same time, they are able
claustrophobia and dreamed that, for PEOPLE, UNSURE OF to confront their future with all its
the first time, she defied her THEM, OFTEN MAKE THE unpredictable situation not as they
autocratic father. The courage would like it to be, a safe, cosy place
enabled her, if only in a dream, to
MISTAKE ARGUING WHEN where the good, and of course the
stand up to the person she most THERE IS NOTHING TO wicked are rewarded according to
feared. ARGUE ABOUT. their desserts.
At the same time, we have to take The difference between
into account the fact that some young course, occasions when the care of an claustrophobia and agoraphobia is,
people find the price of cure too high. invalid leaves no room for personal therefore, one of emphasis for, while
Claustrophobia though painful, may aspirations. If no alternative is the claustrophobia is being driven out
be preferable to falling out of favour possible, acceptance of the situation into the world by this symptom, away
with those upon whose approval they is a safeguard against conflict from the security of a restricted life,
are childishly dependent. Often these between one way of life and another. the agoraphobias, if life itself would
unwanted sons and daughters need Agoraphobia is claustrophobia in settle down more or less contentedly
the moral support of a friend or a reverse for, while victims of the within four narrow walls. Both need a
therapist to strengthen their latter feel the urge to break out of an little of the gambling spirit which
yearnings to an independent way of enclosed space, people with enables a human being to step out
life. It can be argued that the agoraphobia cannot get home quickly boldly, braving the consequences of
Victorian daughter, young or enough to the security of four walls mistakes. We
middle-aged kept house for her and a stout lock on the door. Some
parents without becoming neurotic. are unable to leave the house at all,
We can go further and admit that, though others can walk a short
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats
even in this emancipated age, many a distance before becoming panic-
upon the host. But anger is like fire.
woman is unable to relieve the tedium stricken. Emotional shock appears to It burns it all clean.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 101


SUBTLE COURTESY It charms. By Clifford Martis

I
n life we need help from others on may see someone doing something. in most cases the hostess may say,
a number of occasions and in There seems to be no great need for "No, no. Why should you do this
various ways. People also come help from us. But somehow we feel work? I'll manage it in no time. You
forward to help us when we request like offering help. are a guest. You please be seated in
them. But there are some special Let me tell you a concrete the hall and engage the guests in
occasions when we find someone instance. I am finding it a bit difficult conversation as and when they
needing help but somehow that these days to climb steps. But I am come. Don't you feel a slight, a very
person does not ask for our help. managing somehow with the help of a slight, feeling of disregard or
Nevertheless, we voluntarily offer walking stick. The other day disappointment?
help to that person. Quite often our something close to this happened. I It is in this type of situations that
help is accepted gratefully and both, was climbing the steps. A friend who we should consider whether or not
that person and we are happy. was going with me offered to help me our acceptance of help is a very nice
There is yet another situation by holding my hand. I was quick to thing to do. Isn't it a very nice thing to
where we see someone needing help. say, "No, no. I can manage. And I did accept help from someone who
We may feel that that person is manage but, after that, I felt bad that makes an offer to help? It is almost
struggling and is badly in need of I brushed aside his offer for help so like showing courtesy to him or her.
help. Sometimes we may just feel that unceremoniously. That is why I say it is a subtle form of
the other person can do with some There is a function in your friends courtesy. Should I say covert courtesy
help from us. Think of a situation house. You happen to reach a little or hidden courtesy?
where we see a person carrying some early and find that your friend is busy Some people feel that those who
heavy luggage (railway station) and arranging plates, glasses etc. You offer help (especially strangers) may
almost struggling with it. We gladly go and start extending help in have some axe to grind and so some
definitely feel a compulsion to offer her work. In a very few cases the lady are reluctant to accept help from such
help to that person. Sometimes we may gracefully accept your help. But persons. Such a possibility may be
people? What was the food they person in the place I was going to. I
offered? Was it sensible for me to thought of merely smelling the item.
partake of it? All these questions It was so delicious that I was tempted
troubled my mind. At last, I accepted to take just one piece and put it in my
their food. I thought it was after all a mouth. I am ashamed to say that I
matter of courtesy. finished the whole bottle before I
could reach my destination.
Sometimes we see someone who
SINCERE PRAISE looks like a friend. So we raise our
The other day something hand to salute that person. But when
interesting happened. In the dining we come a little closer we find that he
hall I sat at the table along with three or she is a total stranger. We look the
others. The next table was occupied other side and behave as if we had
by three ladies. Once, when one of not saluted at all. This is a peculiar
the ladies came and was about to take situation. Can we smile and mention
her seat, she felt as if I had said our name and have a brief quick
something. Did you say something? introduction? Sir, I thought you were
she asked. Actually I had not said Shrinivas, my old friend from the
anything. She just got that college. Suppose he says, Not
impression. I could have said the usual Shrinivas and not old friend. You can
thing. No, maam I didnt say take me as Jagmohan a new friend. I
anything, but I felt a strange work in Bowring Hospital.
compulsion to make her feel Once, I went to see an ashram for
comfortable. I said, I said, you are a destitutes. The person in charge took
nice lady. She smiled and thanked me around and showed all the places,
and arrangements made for the poor
IT IS IN THIS TYPE OF people. Finally, he invited me to lunch.
SITUATIONS THAT WE I never knew that he had arranged
lunch. I felt very delicate to eat there.
SHOULD CONSIDER I also felt difficult to eat food there
WHETHER OR NOT OUR because of the level of cleanliness and
general situation of lack of
ACCEPTANCE OF HELP cleanliness. Then I thought that if I
there but it is not common and we dont eat with the people what
need not restrict our courtesy based
IS A VERY NICE THING kindness would I be showing. Just
on this imaginary fear. There is yet TO DO. ISN'T IT A VERY giving a donation wont do. I should
another problem which has cropped be willing to take food with them.
up in recent times due to people
NICE THING TO ACCEPT That is real charity. I ate the food.
carrying or making others carry HELP FROM SOMEONE There is a touching story about a
explosive items. This is also a small child. Her mother took her in the
dangerous thing. But can we refuse to
WHO MAKES AN OFFER city bus. The bus was badly crowded.
help someone merely on the basis of TO HELP? There were two nuns and they
this imaginary fear? Are we just lovingly took the little one on their
imagining danger or are we sure that me. If I had told her the truth that I lap. When the time came to get down
there is real danger? We need not had not said anything, she would have the nuns told the childs mother as a
imagine that every such person is accepted it. But there is a possibility secret, Dont tell anything to your
bent upon taking us for a ride. Quite a that she would have continued to baby. She thinks that we are
few persons may simply feel that they doubt whether or not I had said penguins!
should not trouble us. something and what it was that I had Nowadays, I find that while
On one occasion I was travelling said. travelling in a crowded city bus, young
by train. At one station a family got in Carrying a small parcel or packet ladies offer me their seats. I do accept
a number of people including ladies on behalf of a person in our place has their help and feel comfortable. At
and children with much luggage. I lent been a common feature. People never times I feel like declining their offer as
a helping hand and saw that they grudge this small help. But I must they are ladies. But suddenly it dawns
were fairly comfortably settled. After confess that once I was given a small on my mind that I have grown old! We
a while they opened their food bottle of ginger preserve (a delicious
packets. They offered me some food. sweet preparation with tender ginger A journey of a thousand miles
Should I take it? Who were those in sugar syrup) to be handed over to a begins with a single step. Lao Tzu.
Breast Cancer
What you need to know
C ancer is a disease in which cells in the
body grow out of control. When cancer
starts in the breast, it is called breast
cancer. Breast cancer is the second most
common cancer in women.

Factors which increase the risk


for Breast Cancer?
Risk factors include
Getting older. The risk for breast
cancer increases with age; most
breast cancers are diagnosed after Irritation or dimpling of breast skin.
age 50. Redness or flaky skin in the nipple area
Genetic mutations. Inherited changes or the breast.
(mutations) to certain genes, such as Pulling in of the nipple or pain in the
BRCA1 and BRCA2. Women who have nipple area.
inherited these genetic changes are at Nipple discharge other than breast
higher risk of breast and ovarian milk, including blood.
cancer. Dr Vandana Singh Any change in the size or the shape of
Early menstrual period. Women who MBBS, MS (Obs & Gynae) the breast.
start their periods before age 12 are Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist
exposed to hormones longer, raising What you Can Do to Reduce the
the risk for breast cancer by a small Risk of Breast Cancer?
amount. Personal history of certain non- Keep a healthy weight.
Late or no pregnancy. Having the first cancerous breast diseases. Some non- Exercise regularly (at least four hours
pregnancy after age 30 and never cancerous breast diseases such as a week).
having a full-term pregnancy can raise atypical hyperplasia or lobular Research shows that lack of nighttime
breast cancer risk. carcinoma in situ are associated with a sleep can be a risk factor.
Starting menopause after age 55. Like higher risk of getting breast cancer. Dont drink alcohol, or limit alcoholic
starting ones period early, being Family history of breast cancer. A drinks to no more than one per day.
exposed to estrogen hormones for a womans risk for breast cancer is Avoid exposure to chemicals that can
longer time later in life also raises the higher if she has a mother, sister, or cause cancer (carcinogens) and
risk of breast cancer. daughter (first-degree relative) or chemicals that interfere with the
Not being physically active. Women multiple family members on either her normal function of the body.
who are not physically active have a mothers or fathers side of the family Limit exposure to radiation from
higher risk of getting breast cancer. who have had breast cancer. Having medical imaging tests like X-rays, CT
Being overweight or obese after a first-degree male relative with breast scans, and PET scans if not medically
menopause. Older women who are cancer also raises a womans risk. necessary.
overweight or obese have a higher Previous treatment using radiation If you are taking, or have been told to
risk of getting breast cancer than therapy. Women who had radiation take, hormone replacement therapy
those at a normal weight. therapy to the chest or breasts (like or oral contraceptives (birth control
Having dense breasts. Dense breasts for treatment of Hodgkins pills), ask your doctor about the risks
have more connective tissue than lymphoma) before age 30 have a and find out if it is right for you.
fatty tissue, which can sometimes higher risk of getting breast cancer Breastfeed any children you may have,
make it hard to see tumours on a later in life. if possible.
mammogram. Women with dense Women who took the drug If you have a family history of breast
breasts are more likely to get breast diethylstilbestrol (DES), which was cancer or inherited changes in your
cancer. given to some pregnant women in the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, you may be at
Using combination hormone therapy. United States between 1940 and 1971 high risk for getting breast cancer. Talk
Taking hormones to replace missing to prevent miscarriage, have a higher to your doctor about more ways to lower
estrogen and progesterone in risk. Women whose mothers took DES your risk.
menopause for more than five years while pregnant with them are also at
raises the risk for breast cancer. The risk. How Is Breast Cancer Diagnosed?
hormones that have been shown to Drinking alcohol. Studies show that a Breast ultrasound
increase risk are estrogen and womans risk for breast cancer Diagnostic mammogram.
progestin when taken together. increases with the more alcohol she Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI).
Taking oral contraceptives (birth drinks. Biopsy.
control pills). Certain forms of oral
contraceptive pills have been found What Are the Symptoms of Breast How Is Breast Cancer Treated?
to raise breast cancer risk. Cancer? Surgery.
Personal history of breast cancer. New lump in the breast or underarm Chemotherapy.
Women who have had breast cancer (armpit). Hormonal therapy.
are more likely to get breast cancer a Thickening or swelling of part of the Biological therapy.
second time. breast Radiation therapy.
The Women Clinic
C/38, Sector-20, Near DM Camp Office, Noida (U.P). Pin: 201301.
Ph: 0120-4241012, 9910255002, E-mail: drvandana1@yahoo.co.in
The scientific study of heredity
genetics and has leapfrogged in
recent times geneticists can now
make an estimate in advance of the
risks of certain diseases and defects
recurring in families. The Chandrus,
for instance, steered by their doctor
to a geneticist well trained in hearty
counselling found that the risk of
repetition of their babys heart defect
was only five per cent.
Until around half a century ago
most hereditary diseases were
predicted as per mathematical ratios
established in the 19th century by
Greg or Mendel, the Augustinian
monk. The Mendelian formula: if

MYRIAD MYTHS
Concerning hereditary ailments. By T. Rajagopalan

W
hen Chandana and her simple recessive genes (the chemical
husband Chandru were told particles which transmit heredity) is
by their family doctor in one in four; if a dominant gene is
whose diagnoses of various ailments responsible, the risk rises up to one in
in their household they had employed two. Today, however, a large majority
faith that their first-born suffered of geneticists agree that many
from serious hereditary heart defects, common defects with a hereditary
they were convulsed with utter shock. basis also have environmental causes.
They decided not to have another It is the rare disease, they now are
child although the couple, in their aware, that tends to follow the
flood tide of youth, led a happy sexual Mendelian pattern. Risks for most of
life and their health was as fit as a the widespread diseases with no
fiddle. The next one would be bound inherited basis are likely to be much
to inherit this defect, too said lower. Furthermore, our genes may
Chandana in deep distress. But she act irregularly and frequently as a
was woefully wrong about the way group of them rather than just one
heredity operates and so are a may be at work. In other words,
plethora of parents who apprehend heredity and the prenatal
inherited conditions. environment function together to
produce a great many so-called genes that permit the disease to
inherited conditions. appear if the environmental causes of
Thus, most birth defects arent retardation are still among the
predestined at all. They can result biggest puzzles in the medical realm,
from the mothers exposure to X-rays but certain types are doubtlessly
when she is in the family way (albeit inherited.
this is extremely rare), poor maternal What about the personality and
diet, accidents in the uterus or at birth intelligence? Children tend to
and an array of other factors resemble their parents in intelligence
clubfoot for example, may be caused but we know too little about the
by an irregularity in the early genetics of mental ability to make
developments of the embryo, or a accurate predictions. Even less is
genetic condition. German measles known about the genetics of
during the early weeks of pregnancy personality and temperament, but

THEY HAD THE


can cause blindness, deafness or geneticists probably wouldnt be
mental retardation in babies. surprised if what has been called the
Albeit a large number of birth MISFORTUNE TO neurotic disposition proves to carry
defects seldom occur more than once
in the offspring of the same parents,
PRODUCE AN over from one generation to the next.
Can hereditary diseases be
other abnormalities, like cleft palate ALBINO BABY. THEIR prevented? The prospects are
harelip, clubfoot and the spinal FAMILY DOCTOR becoming promising. Take diabetes.
malformation known as spinabifida,
for example demonstrate a definite APPRISED THEM Susceptibility to diabetes is inherited
but not the disease itself. Preventive
tendency to recur. THAT ALBINISM A medicine, practised by susceptible
families will increase their chances of
STRANGE AND
LITTLE CHANCE OF A BAFFLING DEFECT IN
escaping the disease. Anybody with a
family history of diabetes should
REPEAT PIGMENTATION control his or her weight to avoid
Thus, geneticists recon there is a obesity since overweight often seems
four per cent chance of a repeat if you WHICH LEAVES THE to trigger the disease. A periodic
have one child with a harelip. For SKIN, EYES AND check-up can find the abnormal to
clubfoot, chances range from three to HAIR WHITISH IS tolerence for glucose, a sign of
eight per cent if one is already potential diabetes even if the disease
afflicted. AN INHERITED cannot be completely controlled,
Occasionally, an inherited CONDITION. early diagnosis and prompt treatment
abnormality may turn up even though can do a lot to keep more serious
there has been no previous sign of it the offsprings of such a marriage complications from developing.
in the family. Take the Chakrabortys, would be albinos. Pernicious anaemia, an inherited
for example. They had the misfortune Anyone who has questions about illness that used to be fatal but can
to produce an albino baby. Their heredity needs to see the family now be treated successfully, is
family doctor apprised them that physician. In the event the physician is another case in point. An alteration in
albinism a strange and baffling not able to answer them, he or she gastric juice is evidence before the
defect in pigmentation which leaves can consult a geneticist or refer the pernicious anaemia develops.
the skin, eyes and hair whitish is an patent to one. In a number of Relatives of victims of pernicious
inherited condition. countries geneticists counsel the anaemia can take preventive
At first they refused stubbornly to patients through clinics, universities measures if they undergo regular
believe him because they already had or medical institutions after receiving medical examinations to detect signs
little girls with absolutely normal the genetic answers to the queries of this change. Prospects for
colouring and knew of no albinism in and make their own decisions. prevention of this kind of inherited
their families. But the Chakrabortys Concerning mental illnesses such disease will improve as families learn
learned it was usually recessive genes as schizophrenia or manic depressive to discuss hereditary problems with
that cause albinism. Both parents psychoses it is to be made clear that their doctors instead of concealing
must carry the same gene and hereditary factors can take place in them. We
transmit it for a baby to be affected. both. When both parents have
In life we all have an unspeakable
Recessives can stay hidden for many schizophrenia, the offspring has an
secret, an irreversible regret,
generations, and since the Mendel even chance of developing it, too. For,
an unreachable dream and an
formula one in four chances of presumably, all children of
repetition applies to albinism not all schizophrenic parents possess the
unforgettable love.

110 Womans Era July (First) 2017


I t is the most common cancer in
women in urban India. One in 14 women
will be diagnosed with breast cancer in
their lifetime. It is a highly curable cancer
small amount of tissue is removed from
your breast for microscopic examination.
Biopsy establishes the diagnosis and
never leads to spread of cancer.
Prognosis or Expected Outcome
Most people with early breast cancer
can be treated successfully. Survival rates
have increased significantly over time due
if detected early. to better diagnostic tests and scans,
Types of Tissue sampling: earlier detection, and improvements in
Symptoms? Fine needle aspiration Cytology treatment methods.
Breast lump, changes in nipple (FNAC) A thin needle is used to take A cure may still be possible for people
An ulcer, dimpling of the skin of some cells from the breast lump or with more advanced breast cancer. For
breast, skin thickening, increase in size of abnormal area. other people, treatment can reduce
the breast. Core biopsy A wider needle is used symptoms and improve quality of life.
Swelling or discomfort in the armpit. to remove a core of tissue. It is usually
Unusual breast pain unrelated to done under local anaesthetic, so your Treatment
menses, occuring in one breast only. breast is numb. Treatment may include surgery,
Sometimes cancer is found on a Sometimes an ultrasound or radiotherapy, chemotherapy, hormone
screening x-ray mammogram mammogram is used to help guide the therapy and targeted therapies. Usually
needle. more than one treatment is used.
What are the causes? Surgical biopsy Sometimes surgical The choice of treatment will depend
Exact cause is not known, open biopsy is done if core biopsy fails to on your test results; where the cancer is,
Old age (over 50). 20-25% occurs in establish the diagnosis.Surgical biopsy is if the cancer has spread , whether the
less than 50 years done only if other biopsies are inconclusive. cancer has the estrogen, progesterone

Some Facts
about
Breast
Family history of breast cancer
Cancer
Biopsy tissue is sent for hormone
Dr. S M Shuaib Zaidi
MBBS, MS, DNB, MCh. (Surgical Oncology)

or HER2 receptor protein, your age,


Post menopausal hormone replacement receptors (ER PR), HER2-neu and Ki67 general health and your preferences.
therapy markers which are very important in If you talk to other people with breast
Genetic (5% cases) treatment and prognosis cancer, remember there are different
Beginning your period at a younger categories of breast cancer and the best
age and menopause at an older age. Further tests treatment for one person may not be the
Having your first child at an older age Investigations are done for general best treatment for another. Each
(more than 30). health and to stage the disease are: Blood persons situation is different.
Having been never pregnant. tests, Chest x-ray, CT scan, PET scan Treatment of stage 3 breast cancer is
Drinking alcohol. (whole body CT scan plus radioactive chemotherapy to downsize the cancer
scan) for staging of cancer. MR followed by surgery.
Diagnosis mammogram is done in young patients
Several tests are usually used to find or patients with dense breasts who desire Surgery
out if your breast change is due to breast breast conservation surgery. Surgery for breast cancer will involve
cancer. Doctor will take history and A PET and MRI are not routine tests one of the following: breast conserving
examine your breasts and underarms for but they may be used if other types of surgery removes part of the breast
lymph nodes scans dont give doctors the information ormastectomy removes the whole
they need. breast. In most cases, breast surgery also
Mammogram involves removing one or more lymph
A mammogram is a low-dose x-ray of Staging breast cancer nodes from the armpit.
the breast tissue. This scan can find Stage 1 Tumour is less than 2 cm size Patient and surgeon undertake
changes that are too small to be felt Stage 2 Tumouris less than 2 cm with decision of type of surgery jointly. Some
through a physical examination. Women lymph nodes spreadn women do not want to have their whole
aged 5069 should have regular Stage 3 Tumour more than 5 cm breast removed. Research has shown
screening mammograms with lymph nodes and/or involving skin that breast conserving surgery, with
or chest wall sentinel node biopsy followed by
Ultrasound Stage 4 Involvement of liver, lungs, radiotherapy, is as effective as
An ultrasound is a painless scan that bone and brain and distant organs mastectomy or complete removal, for
uses sound waves to create a picture of most women with early breast cancer.
your body. Grading breast cancer Mastectomy is commonly done for locally
Grade should not be confused with advanced or stage 3 breast cancer.
Biopsy Stage. Radiotherapy may be given to the
You will need a biopsy if an abnormal The grade shows how fast the cancer breast after surgery to destroy any cancer
area of tissue is found in your breast. A is growing. cells that may be left in the breast or armpit.
Dr. S M Shuaib Zaidi, MBBS, MS, DNB, MCh. (Surgical Oncology)
Fellowship Breast and thoracic Surgery Oita University Hospital Japan / Fellowship Robotic Surgery IRCAD (France)
Senior Consultant, Department of Surgical Oncology, Indraprastha Apollo Hospital, Sarita Vihar, New Delhi.
Mobile: 9958996258, Email: shuaib_z@rediffmail.com
INTENSITY OF
CONCENTRATION Leads to accomplishment. By I.M. Soni

I
f you look at your work as a or she is not a slave of his or her opposite directions which results in
punishment and drudgery, you are tyrannical moods. conflict and a vague sense of
headed for failure. Look at it as a The mind has a natural inclination uneasiness, consuming energy. An
pleasure, as a means for the to wander, to escape hard work. anaemic effort will thus produce
expression of your personality, and Therefore, it is necessary to ineffectual work, a hallmark of failure.
you are courting success. cultivate the habit of yoking it. Once Conflicts drain zest. Once zest is
Lots of people, eager to woo the mind is tamed and attuned to lost, listlessness overtakes one. This
success, fail to do so because they act discipline, it will react naturally and sets in inertia, which is another way of
as scatter-brains, and violate the automatically to the demands put on saying that you want to laze away
fundamental principle of success. it. This amounts to resetting your your time without pouring your
They give themselves niggardly credit biological clock. It works wonders. hidden energies into your work. The
for their work. Their work is sloppy Lack of interest implies a play of mind thus finds its own way of
and shoddy. The problem of putting distractions. A mind divided against misusing the energy which is spent
the mind in work is really the problem itself can't produce the white heat without realising any worthwhile
of putting the mind in focus. It is necessary for accomplishment of a objectives.
cultivating an interest in jobs that task. Distractions, whether these are A new attitude should put work in
have to be done. A successful person physical, emotional or mental, have to the centre of your scheme of things. It
does a thing when it should be done, be eliminated, otherwise these act should not be the work of a slave. It
whether he wants to do it or not. He like horses pulling a carriage in should be the work of a master who
forces his slaves to put in their upon to get you anywhere in your
maximum. You have to be a hard career.
taskmaster to yourself. You know that you have within you
It is a mistake to suppose that this the spark which can ignite success.
attitude is being cultivated to earn You have the mental ability that can Motherinlaw preference
money. Money might result from this take you high. But you are either I entered my husbands household
effort but its cultivation is essential unaware of it or you are unmindful of as the fourth DIL. My MIL has a soft
for the utilisation of a vast, hidden it. You go as it goes a waif. corner for me, perhaps due to the fact
source of energy inside you. It is also You are using only one-tenth of that I was the youngest DIL. But my
necessary because this is the only way your real brainpower because your eldest sister-in-law was very much
to express your personality in a focus is limited. peeved at the favoritism meted out to
tangible form. You can achieve some If you can't focus your mind, you me and said, As you are the only
semblance of perfection and lack determination to get to a goal. daughter of well-to-do parents, our MIL
excellence. When a typist looks at a The desire to get to the goal is not is head over heels upon you. Im after
letter typed neatly by her, she is doing strong enough. T.W. Emerson aptly all a poor mans daughter. Could not
exactly what Picasso had done after says: "Weak minds have desires; bring much dowry. Why should she
finishing a painting. Both are looking strong minds have goals." care for me?
at the end product of their labour Concentration is another name of Now, during the early days of our
which is a product of their effort. stick-ability. For example, if you are marriage, my husband once advised me
learning English language, you have softly, Look dear, never sit idle like
to focus on many aspects like your elder sis-in-laws. She is after all an
NEED FOR EXCELLENCE punctuation, grammar, vocabulary, old woman. I took his advice to my
Another alibi is that perfection and style and objective. You need a gimlet heart and tried to help my MIL in
excellence are to be attained in like tenacity. You cannot give up in disgust. Trying to soap the old lady?
creative spheres only. Writers, poets, despair. Improve your power of Carry on, girl. She would sneer at me.
painters and musicians have to put in concentration by telling yourself that Once I enquired my MIL why she
their best as if ordinary mortals do not the cost of it is inattention. Lack of was so fond of me and not others. She
need excellence in their work. concentration means failure to hit the looked at me smilingly and said, My
Nothing could be farther from reality. bull's eye. A wandering mind gathers child, you are my only DIL who he so
Nothing is more disastrous to the no wool. concerned about me like my own
growth and development of a human Discipline your mind to ward off daughter. Besides, whenever you refer
being. distractions. Steel your desire into a your husband to me, you mention as,
Every human being spends about goal. You cannot focus full blast on a Your son and never as My
half of his or her life at work. It is a thing you think is trivial. Keep telling husband, which gives me a closeness,
matter of regret if half of the life is yourself how important the goal is to which I fail to derive from others.
spent on doing slipshod and sloppy you, your career, life and self-esteem. Sundanda Sankaran, Mumbai.
work. See yourself enjoying the privileges,
People engaged in creative activity perks and power which follow after
know this. They look upon work as a you have reached your goal.
mirror of their personality. Like Concentration means directing the
William Hazlitt they want to ask wayward mind into a predetermined
themselves: Is there anything in which goal. You can do it by constantly If you have had
no one else can equal me? harnessing your mind so that you put an encounter with any
of your in-laws, let our
Will and vitality accomplish more the wayward threats off. readers know it. Whether it is
than genius. It is not eminent talent The quest for your goal is a fierce pleasant or sour, it does not matter
that is required to ensure success in concentration without it, you are so long as it is interesting and
any pursuit, as much as purpose not like an engine without steam. Shut illustrates human strengths and
merely the power to achieve, but the out the irrelevant. You cannot weaknesses. All accepted
contributions will be paid `200 each.
will to labour. concentrate on the trivial or the Send you contributions. duly typed or
Hang on to it. The mind will get significant. Use imagination. See written in neat hand writing to.
going. Momentum will be built up, yourself finishing it with pride in IN-LAWS/OUT-LAWS
immersing you in the task. You can achievement. Nothing else equals the
achieve concentration by maximising joy of a deed accomplished. We E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
your effort and minimising Womansera.com
distraction. Concentration is the key You gain strength, courage and
Name:
to growth. A mind that balks at confidence by every experience in
Mobile:
sticking to one thing for more than a which you really stop to look fear in
E-mail:
few minutes cannot be depended the face.

114 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Visible outcome of a sightless
womans vision. By Devayani Medhekar

S
he chose not only to dream big teachers alike. But the happy child she struggle to demand to be treated fairly
but made her dreams come true was, she accepted her condition and and as an equal. Tiffany chose not to
despite all odds! A recipient of never felt sad or asked, Why me? despair and to fight on!
the Kerala State Disability Award for Tiffanys challenges began at a very She got through not without
Outstanding Achievement, Tiffany early age. Constant transfers meant difficulty by mastering Braille. That too
Maria Brars story is a lesson to the moving in and out of schools which was a challenge due to the laxity of the
sighted never to give up despite all even normally are quite traumatic for organisations for the blind in providing
odds! To be born blind and yet to show children. Besides, school life was a Braille materials in time to students like
the light to others is indeed a lesson in nightmare! We as people are her. She once told me that we would
grit and courage, of determination to sometimes unfortunately quite either get the notes a few days before
overcome tremendous obstacles insensitive if not openly cruel to those the exams or at the end of the year
physical, mental and those of who have disabilities. Some in our thus leaving no time for proper
discrimination and prejudice with society often make jokes about people preparation or revision.
rare grace and unbreakable confidence slipping on a banana peel or laugh at As if this was not bad enough, her
in oneself. people who are handicapped in some life at home was far from perfect; her
For their only child to be diagnosed way. This is not how things should be mother, who was her main moral
with an un-rectifiable retina problem at and of course there are several support, was constantly ill and
six months was a tragically painful exceptions but such situations do exist frequently in and out of hospitals and
setback for Lt Gen Brar and Maria Brar and Tiffanys situation was no her father was always away on duty at
who tried everything possible to exception. far- off places. With no one to look
salvage the situation but to no avail. The teachers at schools did not after her she had to fend for herself
Being naturally overprotective about a know how to handle her; they during her formative years at the
child who was differently abled they considered her a hindrance to the schools. All this added to her sense of
tried to give her a normal upbringing classroom and generally ignored her by isolation but she was determined to
but her experiences in the normal not allowing her to participate. They chart her own course and meet lifes
schools were anything but normal. made her a back-bencher and challenges head-on. Where most of us
When her mother told her that she was sometimes even forgot that she was would have given up, her resolve
a special child with unique abilities there. Fellow students too were became stronger!
and would have to learn everything at evasive and generally avoided her. In One thing she didnt want was
school by touch, she knew she had a short, she was isolated. To any child, sympathy. She was determined to
long journey ahead of her but she said isolation is painful and, to a special develop her other senses and show
she never expected the insensitivity of child like her it was even more painful. everyone that she was equal to them
others that she was to encounter in And, worse, she had no one to turn to and in no way disabled. She wanted to
schools from some fellow students and for help. It was indeed a struggle, a prove that just because she was blind

116 Womans Era July (First) 2017


she was in no way inferior to anyone later moved to the JMJ Convent, German social worker and Paul
and would not be pushed around. This Athani, in Thrissur district, and Kronenberg was a major turning
attitude also strengthened her resolve completed her tenth standard after point in her life. The knowledge that
to work for the betterment of blind which she moved to Wellington, near Sabriye was blind and had travelled
people and make the world aware of Coonoor, where her father was posted alone from her home country Germany
their abilities and contributions as from 2004 to 2006. to Tibet and had set up a school for the
useful citizens. Things finally started looking up for blind, truly inspired Tiffany. She could
But hers was not an idealistic quest her at Wellington when for the first do that too, she thought. And so
and a dream - she did realise that she time she felt included as part of the Sabriye became the driving force
lacked the skills a visually impaired community and help came in from all behind Tiffanys determination to do
person required to get around and so quarters her friends, teachers, and things for herself and be proactive in
she had to join a special school to her fathers assistant, all helped her to helping those who were blind.
develop them. Tiffany thus pressurised complete her CBSE successfully by Tiffany says she still remembers the
her parents to enroll her in a special helping her with her notes and lessons. day she felt truly liberated and found
school when they moved to Kalimpong Another silver lining came in the the road to her independence she
in Darjeeling District in 1998. Here form of Vineeta, their domestic help, took the cane Sabriye offered and left
every child was treated equally and the who moved from Wellington with her fathers hand (even though he
staff and headmistress encouraged them to Trivandrum by resigning her protested) to walk the uneven path
children to develop such skills that permanent job to be with her. during a trip they undertook around
helped them get over their disability.
Here Tiffany learnt mobility skills and
became fluent in Braille. She learnt BUT HERS WAS NOT AN
other skills too, to compensate for the
lack of sight. Tiffany told me, I was IDEALISTIC QUEST AND
happy here this is what Id wanted A DREAM SHE DID
and waited for for so long! I wanted to
get out of my sheltered and protected REALISE THAT SHE
existence and to become self- LACKED THE SKILLS A
sufficient! she added.
But this happy situation was marred VISUALLY IMPAIRED
by her problems on the personal front PERSON REQUIRED TO
as in 1999 her father was called away
for the Kargil War and her mothers GET AROUND AND SO
health was failing and she was being SHE HAD TO JOIN A
hospitalised more frequently. Tiffany
had to fend for herself and was at the SPECIAL SCHOOL TO
mercy of the domestic help. She finally DEVELOP THEM.
moved to the hostel at the School for
Visually Impaired and believe it or
not! there, the partially sighted This kind and compassionate the Kanthari campus when it was
students bullied her! But by then she Tamilian lady filled some of the void in under construction! What a thrill that
had learnt to fight her own battles and her life caused by her mothers was! she said while describing that
focused on her learning. untimely death. Vineeta looked upon first independent walk!
Tiffany as her daughter and taught her Sabriye not only inspired her to use
FEELING OF BEING to become independent and perform
daily activities without anyones help.
the cane but travel alone and soon
Tiffany started travelling all around
UNSETTLED While Tiffany grew proficient at Trivandrum by bus and later by train to
Amidst all this, the feeling of being home she realised that she was not so places outside Trivandrum too all by
unsettled persisted. For some reason proficient in moving around herself! All this did wonders to her
she could not define , she yearned to independently outside her house and confidence!
return to Kerala where her father had had to depend on a sighted person. All Tiffanys pursuit for independence
been posted before they went to this changed during her third year at received a boost in 2009 when she
Kalimpong. She paid heed to her Government College for Women in took up the job of a receptionist at the
inner voice and returned to Kerala in Trivandrum. international organisation Kanthari
2001 after her mother had passed away Tiffanys chance meeting in 2008 (International) Educational and
Tiffany was just 12 years old then! with the co-founders of Braille Training Institute in Trivandrum and
On her return to Kerala she joined Without Borders and Kanthari soon the second major phase of her
the Government Integrated School and Sabriye Tenberken, the well-known lifes journey began she was able to

Womans Era July (First) 2017 117


voice her opinion, to discuss as an (Leading to Light) a mobile school for members either at the centre itself or
equal, learn computers and educate the visually impaired. Her unique idea at the homes of the blind mostly in
herself with the latest technologies was that if the visually impaired cannot rural areas. She wants to expand her
that were designed to help the blind. go to school then the school should centre further by building a hostel and
While at Kanthari, Tiffany come to them! This was her project subsequently have a building in her
discovered that there were many from ideation to conceptualisation to own premises like Kanthari!
visually impaired people who were still implementation! In December 2012 the Kerala
confined to their comfort zones, with While setting up her foundation Government honoured Tiffany with the
no one to bring them out. All the Jyothirgamaya she was first helped a Kerala State Disability Award.
discrimination she had faced during little by the organisation BWB. But
her schooldays had strengthened her thereafter she did it all alone. She
resolve to work for the betterment of travelled all over in search of the blind GOVERNMENTS ROLE
people like her and to help them in public transport. Though they had She feels the government could
establish themselves as useful citizens. auto-rickshaws equipped with solar play a vital role in improving the lives
With this objective, in 2011, Tiffany panels, she found public transport of the visually impaired if they
enrolled herself for a year in the more comfortable and cost- effective. introduce latest technology at low
Special Education courses at the Her challenge was convincing the cost, improve safety on the road for
Ramakrishna Mission Faculty of parents of other blind students and them by making public places more
Disability Management and Special adults to allow their children to grow accessible and by vigorously enforcing
Education in Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu. like her. Some did and some still dont the rights guaranteed to them by the
laws of the land. Government should
WHILE SETTING UP also educate the public so that there is
better understanding about the needs
HER FOUNDATION of the blind and help propagate the
JYOTHIRGAMAYA idea that they too can be useful
citizens if society helps them integrate
SHE WAS FIRST into the mainstream of socio-economic
HELPED A LITTLE BY life.
Tiffany is still the adventurer! She
THE ORGANISATION feels her journey has just begun and
BWB. BUT THEREAFTER there are a lot of hurdles still to
overcome before her dreams are
SHE DID IT ALL ALONE. fulfilled. She wants to enhance her
SHE TRAVELLED ALL knowledge and introduce more
innovative techniques from other
OVER IN SEARCH OF reputed organisations to make her
THE BLIND IN PUBLIC students more independent
She would like to tell her fellow
TRANSPORT. sighted citizens to have a positive
attitude towards the differently-abled
The interesting thing here was that want to come out of the confines of and not to sympathise, but to
though it specialised in all disabilities, the four walls of their homes! But empathise with them. We dont want
she found that she was the only blind Tiffany says she will keep trying to to be pitied we want to be
student studying there at that time! convince them her enthusiasm and understood and to be helped to
The faculty was very supportive and sincerity are unmistakable and almost integrate ourselves in the mainstream
even asked her to help in teaching the guarantee her success! of life, she concluded. What a
other sighted candidates Braille and Her search for untrained blind determined bundle of energy Tiffany is!
cane techniques! people around Trivandrum finally got Now a fine graceful young lady, her
She successfully completed her her positive responses and they life and determination are a lesson in
B.Ed in Visual Impairment Special wanted her services. Today, Tiffanys courage, grit and determination and an
Education and enhanced her skills mission is to empower the blind in all embodiment of that never give up!
further by attending the Kanthari spheres of life. spirit that inspires and emboldens
Leadership Course. From 2012 since she started this others, even the more fortunate, to
After her return to Kanthari and project, she has trained 50 people in face life squarely despite all odds! We
discussions with Sabriye and others Braille, mobility, daily living skills and
basic computer use. Her daily routine
When we are no longer able to
working in the field of visual
impairment, Tiffany initiated a new comprises taking classes from morning
change a situation, we are challenged
project the Jyothirgamaya to evening along with her team
to change ourselves.

118 Womans Era July (First) 2017


I am a working woman aged 27. Over the last eight months, a but he was always there as an older and admired son of family
colleague who had been transferred to our branch and I have friends. He is a very intelligent person who is doing very well in
fallen in love and now this man has proposed to me. I long to the field of aerodynamics and everyone who knows him says
accept his proposal but I am afraid to because I have a dark that he is certain to go places.
secret that I have kept hidden from everyone from the time I I have always been overawed by this man and so when my
moved to this city and began a new life. parents told me two months ago that they and their friends
Before I came to this city and was lucky enough to get a had decided long ago that this man and I would marry and
good job here, my life was very different. I was the only child that it was time we got engaged, I did not object. In fact, I
of my parents and we were well-off, but I realised when I was was quite thrilled.
still young that my parents were different from the parents of We were engaged and my fianc and I began to meet quite
my classmates. My father didnt have a job to which he went often. Initially, I was very excited every time I went to meet
every day. him, but I soon realised that I had little in common with this
He kept odd timings, strange people came to our home at man. I was a very ordinary person compared to him and we
strange times and the police came frequently too. And when had no common interests.
my parents were arrested for the first time, when I was nine, I But when I finally got up the courage to tell my fianc this,
finally understood that my parents were criminals. he first looked surprised and then said that that would be no
My life was hell during the years that followed. My parents problem because he would soon mould me to be the person
disappeared from my life periodically as further cases were he wanted me to be.
filed against them. During the times that they were away, I found this remark quite insulting and when I told my
strange people became my guardians and moved me from college friends about this comment, they too agreed with me.
school to school. But studies were my one refuge from the They then advised me to think twice before going through
dirty life I lived and I immersed myself in my books and did with this marriage.
very well in both school and college. There is another complication. One of the boys in my
Finally, I became a free adult. This was at a time when my group proposed to me the very day I told my friends

QA
parents had been sentenced to a long stint in prison. I took about my fianc. He did so right in front of the rest
advantage of both these occurrences to tell my parents that I
wanted to live my own life. They
gave me permission to do so and I
moved to the city I am now living

&
in. With my excellent qualifications
I got a good job, and over time got
several promotions. I live by
myself and have absolutely no My family,
contact with my parents. My friends and me...
And now I have fallen in love
and want to get married. of my gang! All my friends
But I am wondering if I should tell my fiance about my past. then shouted in excitement and told
I do not want to because he is a very straightforward man and me to accept the proposal. I told them that I
I am sure that if I do, he will be shocked and not want to have need time to think things over and also to break up
anything to do with me. Is it better that I dont tell him? with my fiance but I must admit that I like this boy who
Even if you dont tell him, the world is a small place and proposed very much.
there is always the chance that your fianc will somehow What should I do?
come to know about the past that you have hidden from him. You have not mentioned how old you are, but from the
If this happens not only will the shock be greater, but there is a way you and your friends behave, you appear to be an
good chance that his trust in you will also be totally destroyed. undergraduate and rather immature. Your fianc is obviously
It will be even worse if he comes to know after you both have very mature and you are absolutely right when you began to
children. feel that you have very little in common with him and the
It would therefore be better if you tell him the truth main reason for that is the age difference between you.
yourself before you got married. Yes, he will be shocked and if So, tell your parents that you do not want to even think of
he is conservative and rather immature, yes, he may decide marriage as yet. Make it clear to them that this does not mean
not to marry you. But telling him will be the decent and right that you want a long engagement period it means that you
thing for you to do, and if he really loves and understands want to call off the marriage altogether because of the
you, he will not blame you for the mistakes your parents 10-year gap between you and the man your parents want you
made. to marry.
Then tell your young friend who proposed to you that both
Two months ago, I got engaged to a man I have known for of you are too young to think of marriage and that you both
many years. He is the son of friends of my parents and since he need to concentrate on your studies and on enjoying your
is 10 years older than I am, he wasnt a friend I grew up with, college days.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 119


TREAT YOUR
CHILDREN RIGHT
And get wrong notions out of their minds. By Nisha Dey

It is disappointing to see how children these days easily quit and give up on their lives. Not
that its a new topic of concern, its just that the rate of such incidents are rising day by
day. The generation gap can obviously never be filled, true. But can we not just try helping
our children not to be too quick in deciding to give up? Yes, something can always be done!
Your children are your treasures and nothing else is more important than their lives, to
you. Lets not think of WHY they do so or what makes them cruel and murderers of their
own lives, but focus on HOW as parents, we can help them come out of the negative
thoughts that make them opt for suicide as the best way to run away from situations.

Healthy communication: Parents them you are always present for Listen to understand: Listen to
and children must be engaged in them. Sometimes a talk helps them to them with patience. Allow them to
healthy and direct communications relax. Be a good listener to them, a finish what they have to say to you. If
with each other. Make that friendly conversation will allow them there is something thats against their
connection to create a bonding where to blabber their fears, emotions, choice, try to know the reasons
your children never hesitate to share confessions etc, and their hearts will behind it. Dont question them
their feelings, anxiety, anger, guilt, be at peace then. Try to know through directly or point out their faults.
little or major incidents in their daily chats if everythings all right in their Listen to them not as parents but as
lives. Make them comfortable; tell lives they can have a bad day, they friends or maybe just as a stranger.
can be scared, they can be insecure, Put yourself in their place and imagine
they can be happy, they can be over- what they are going through. Assure
thinking! them that you are listening and giving
your best to understand them. The
more you understand, the more your
children feel free to breathe. Dont
judge them. If you do so only because
you have all the rights, then they
might just end up stepping on a
wrong stone!

Guide: Guide them in a way that


they dont feel you are judging them.
They are never looking for advice, all
they want is someone to tell them
what they are doing is absolutely not
wrong. Maybe as parents, you feel
your children are making the wrong
decisions in their lives. But is that
going to help your children grow in
their lives either? Why not simply
agree to what they feel is normal to
feel and guide them to make things
better in whichever way they feel like
doing so? Make them trust you, that
whenever they will be falling down, Give them the freedom to explore and leave an impression on society or just
you as parents will be there to hold learn, and not stress too much on to make their parents proud. Teach
them back with all care. what as parents you want your them failures are part of life.
children to perform. If needed, set Struggling is part of life. Peer pressure
Dont impose your decisions: As limits and flexible boundaries. can or may get them and you the
parents, you may want to see your happiness but what about peace? The
child as a doctor or an engineer. But Share experiences: Be a story teller, pressure can only get your children
what if they only want to own a exactly the way you did once your look for options that allow them
business or simply do some social children were little and you had to temporary escape. Free them! Its an
activities or may be just nothing for a make them eat, sleep or be indirect continuous mental
while. Let them decide what they entertained. Now they have grown up harassment you are doing to your
want to do in their lives. At least they a little but they still love to listen to children. Be parents and not criminals.
will not be choosing death as the only stories; only the characters and Dont help them to kill themselves,
option to live according to their rules. nature of the stories will be different help them to live for others. We
You cant give them the wrong ideas now. Tell them of how youve dealt
that you have all the rights to rule with problems in your life, what
their lives because you have given struggles you had to go through, how
birth to them. No! You gave them and youve had failure. Stories only to
they are very grateful but then its
their lives. Let your children deal,
explore, fail or fall. Their decisions
will be a different experience to Dear parents,
them. You can stop expecting too much
from your children. Success is not life.
Keep an eye: Yes, keep your eyes Your children may be already dealing
open to secure them at the right with a lot of problems every day. When
time when they are into bad you are too busy planning for their
influences. Dont spy or end up careers, investing money on your
being a detective. Only keep an eye dreams that must be fulfilled by your
on your childrens activities and children, your children at the same
actions. Watch what they speak time, are probably looking for
are they being too negative? Do they other ways to go.
sound low or different these days?
Are they spending too much time
being alone, have a loss of appetite,
are not taking care of themselves,
dressing up too normal than the other begin with success
days? Yes, something really needs stories. The more
your attention then! Observe them, you share, the more
study them because no child should they will be feeling
be left unattended, so that they dont easy to share too.
get into any danger or get hurt And when they give
emotionally in extreme. their opinions as
individuals, you may
Give a chances: It is not about realise they are not
letting them repeat the same just like you and
mistakes but, more than that, it is that can be a good
about making them realise how they thing.
cannot afford repeating the wrong
steps, as they might end up hurting Minus the PP
themselves. Give them chances to (peer pressure) : Try
repair the faults! Give them chances not to focus only on
to make wise decisions. There may be their studies,
a hundred things they want to do in grades, exams,
life, allow them and support them to future goals and
take the chances. At least they would image. Dont teach
know which ones were the wrong them to stand and
dreams and which ones are amazing. grow in life just to

Womans Era July (First) 2017 121


I am two months pregnant. Please tell me what are the danger with your birthing partner to offer support). Some women
signals I have to look out for? (about 10-15 per cent) need help getting the baby through
You will have to visit your obstetrician regularly for the birth canal. A doctor may apply a special vacuum cup or
antenatal check-ups. Besides this you should come to the forceps to the babys head to help the mother push the baby
hospital if you have out.
Bleeding Many women get small tears around the vaginal opening.
Pain in abdomen Sometimes, the doctor will cut some tissue to make the
Excessive vomiting opening bigger (episiotomy) which requires stitches. The
Swelling stitches will dissolve during healing. The area will be sore for a
Vaginal discharge few days.
Falls Normally, the uterus expels the placenta soon after birth.
Urinary tract infection In about 1 per cent of births, this doesnt happen. The doctor
Severe headache and visual disturbances must reach into the uterus and remove the placenta for which
Baby is not moving you may need anaesthesia.
Watery fluid comes out of the vagina All women lose some blood during childbirth. A woman is
When you are in labour more likely to lose a lot of blood if the labour is prolonged, the
size of the baby is big, when instrumental (vacuum, forceps)
Can we have sex during pregnancy? delivery was required, after twin delivery or when the placenta
Having sexual intercourse during pregnancy does not harm doesnt pass out on its own. In very few women (less than 1 per
the foetus. You can continue to have intercourse right up to cent) a blood transfusion may be required after vaginal birth if
the onset of labour. As your abdomen enlarges, you may the bleeding was excessive.
find intercourse more comfortable in positions that put less
pressure on your abdomen like side by side or you on top. Can I have an X-ray done during pregnancy?

QA
If you have complication like history of previous abortion, Though X-rays are best avoided during
pain, bleeding or discharge during this pregnancy you doctor pregnancy, a lot depends upon why
will advise abstinence. If you have a
tendency towards preterm labour as

&
diagnosed by a history of the same in
previous pregnancies or by an
ultrasound and/or internal exami-
I am
Pregnant
nation in this pregnancy, your doctor
may recommend avoiding intercourse
and nipple stimulation. These
activities may cause contractions of the uterus and preterm
labour. it is needed and how beneficial it is to
you at this point of time.
I am in the ninth month of my first pregnancy. My problem is The further the area to be X-rayed is from your baby the
that both my nipples are retracted. This will cause difficulty in less likely is it to cause harm. In any case the abdomen is
breastfeeding my baby. Is there any way by which I can protected by a lead shield to avoid exposure of the baby to the
improve the situation before delivery? rays.
You could begin by catching the nipple between your
thumb and forefinger and rolling it gently forwards. Repeat I am in the 8th month of my pregnancy. My doctor has asked
this exercise daily. Alternatively there is a small plastic cup me to perform Kegels exercises. How are they done and what
available that has to be put between the nipple and the bra is the use?
with the mouth of the cup on the nipple. Kegels exercises make the pelvic floor more elastic and
The negative pressure so created helps draw the nipple strong so that the child can pass through it comfortably. This
out in some cases. If this too fails, a nipple shield can be used is that part of the body that holds the pelvic organs in place
to breastfeed your child. You will be taught how to sterilise and is perforated by the urinary, vaginal and anal orifices. It is
and use it after delivery. made of muscle and fibrous tissue,
Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
Could you please tell me what happens during vaginal birth? Squeeze the two buttock muscles together. While doing this
Labour contractions increase in intensity and duration over press the thighs firmly together and pull up as though
a period of hours and slowly open the cervix. When the cervix preventing the passage of stool and urine. Count slowly from
is completely open, contractions help push the baby through one to 10. Relax to the same number of counts. Do this 10
the birth canal (vagina). time each three times a day.
Usually, the babys head comes out first, then the You can do this exercise daily, even in the standing
shoulders, followed by the rest of the body. You will be shifted position, while cooking, washing, standing in queues, etc.
to the labour room when the uterus is completely open (along Dr Amrinder Kaur Bajaj, MD.

122 Womans Era July (First) 2017


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Amidst the immensely busy and, invariably, tension-ridden life of
today people are finding a ready outlet to all their worries and stress
on, World Laughter Day. By Vijai Pant

A
popular dialogue of Ajay their own blues. However, tickling the offending anybodys sensibilities.
Devgun in the action comedy funny bone is not an easy job. Besides, you have to be in sync with
movie Son of Sardar went like Vinod Dubey, a well-known comic the changing times as topics which
this, Oye paaji, kadi hans bhi liya karo artiste shares, Easy though it may were taboo yesterday may now be
(sometimes do laugh). but, in real life, seem, making others laugh is a very permissible. Moreover, while
more and more people are serious business. Lots of research performing live the target audience
acknowledging the importance of work is done prior to the actual has to be kept in mind. Sexually-laced
laughter as an instant mood elevator. performance. One has to pick subjects puns must be avoided. There is not
Mental fatigue and physical which would appeal to all without much of a creativity involved in this.
tiredness are the natural concomitants The cheap stuff also does not speak
of a stressful life. Consequently, after A PERSON GIVEN TO EASY very highly of your own talent. Also,
coming back from an exhausting days LAUGHS ALWAYS HAS A one must not get carried away,
work, we tend to unwind by sharing
some light moments with the others in
PLEASANT DEMEANOUR. otherwise there is the fear of landing
oneself in controversy. What is worse,
the family, especially at the dinner SUBTLE HUMOUR, WHICH sometimes, despite our best efforts,
table. Bursting into peals of laughter at WORKS UP YOUR BRAIN, we are unable to elicit the expected
the slightest opportunity immediately response from the crowd, which
perks up our jaded selves. IS GOOD BUT THE POINT affects our confidence.
The surfeit of comedy shows being IS YOUR SMILE MUST There are laughter clubs
aired on TV these days is enough functioning not just in the
evidence to prove that laughter is
BURST OUT IN THE FORM metropolitan cities but also in small
working its magic all around. The OF A LAUGH. BUT THE townships. Dr Ashok Chauhan,
maddeningly busy life has made people GOLDEN RULE IS TO member of a Laughter Club avers,
turn to hilarious movies, stand-up Laughter therapy for the,
comedies and even live shows of comic LAUGH WITH OTHERS, convalescing patients is getting a lot of
artistes. In this way they laugh away NOT LAUGH AT OTHERS. attention in corporate hospitals.

124 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Besides the obvious advantage of
reducing tension, our cardiovascular
and respiratory systems also get
rejuvenated. Some people argue that
fake laughter cannot benefit in the
same way as authentic laughter. But I

A better world
tell them that the body cannot
distinguish between the two, and
hence the benefits are exactly the
same.

to stay
One should have an appetite for
life. There might be professions where
particular behavioural codes are to be
followed. But this in no way implies
that, for once, you cannot let your hair
down and just be yourself and enjoy
the light moments which life offers,
opines Madhu Suyal, doing Social and
Behavioural Sciences.
A person given to easy laughs The bright suns rays kissing the Earth,
always has a pleasant demeanour. Spreading sparkle in every direction,
Subtle humour, which works up your But,
brain, is good but the point is your Something is void somewhere inside,
smile must burst out in the form of a Something is missing on the horizon.
laugh. But the golden rule is to laugh
with others, not laugh at others. Wandering through the backwoods,
Sarcasm and hitting below the belt is My feet halt with insouciant laughter,
always unwelcome, warns Jayant A sound like free spirit of untamed horses.
Pande, who organises personality
development classes. I glimpsed a building painted red,
Neeraj Kumar thinks that one And watched star shells hover and spread.
particular day being earmarked for
laughter indicates that we overlook its Some flat faces with small noses,
importance in our day-to-day lives. Some broad hands with short fingers,
There are people who look forward to That sweet smile, that innocent laugh,
weekend getaways and even slightly Like the beauty of the moon in half !
long exotic holidays to unwind and get
recharged. But the very same people A longing in eyes to run and play,
are indifferent to the healthy doses of Many questions with no answers.
guffaws all around them. Perhaps, they
dont know that sharing a laugh is the A child stood at the gate,
easiet and cheapest method to Kept looking at me
rejuvenate your sagging spirit and With a slight curve of lips and shining eyes,
creaking body, he says. Innocence,
The Irish proverb, A good laugh That turned a mirror into window,
and a long sleep are the best cures in And my world...
the doctors book has a lot of merit in In a different direction,
it. You are lucky if you find yourself, As if time stopped,
every now and then, in the midst of a And soul felt its existence.
humour hurricane. Do not hold
yourself back at such times, but let That obscure sudden connection,
laughter work the magic for you. We Evolved into moments of togetherness,
where,
I see their wings grow larger every day,
And wish for,
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good
A better world in which to stay.
while youre in it, but the longer you
Shalini Bhardwaj.
stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 125


Sapporo

Akita

Sandai
Osaka,
Hiroshima
Kitakyushu
Kode
Kyoto

Shikoku Osaka
JAPAN TOKYO
Nagoya

Yokohama
Japan
Fukuoka
Worth a days visit.
By D.B.N. Murthy
Kyushu

O
saka was not in my original hotel. The driver knew the location of people with rain-ware and umbrella
tour programme. But later on I the hotel. Check-in took a few were carrying on their business as
decided to spend a couple of minutes before arriving at my room, usual. But the rainy weather was a
days before going up north. That which though small, was quite dampener as far as I was concerned.
would also reduce my travel for that comfortable. After resting a while, I Fortunately, later on, it cleared
day. The two days spent in Osaka went downstairs to the coffee shop somewhat. That gave me a chance to
were worthwhile, though the wet for a cup of coffee. From a nearby walk quickly to the underground
weather acted as a spoil sport. It was shop, I bought a few snacks, yoghurt metro station, Nagahori bashi, nearby
about three in the afternoon as I and drinks for the night. where I bought a day pass. Osaka is
arrived at Osaka station, by changing I was ready the next morning after the third largest populated city in
trains from Nagasaki. The station is a good night rest. Breakfast at the Japan. It has got nine subway lines
big and quite complex with many lines coffee shop was good. A glance and a few private railway lines too.
and floors. A woman, speaking outside was disappointing. It was My destination was the Shitennoji
English, helped me to get a taxi to my raining and it looked quite bleak and Temple near a subway station which I
so I had to put a hold on my plan to reached. Before going to the temple I
see a few places that morning. Later had a drink at a tiny restaurant with
on I went upstairs to the lobby to sit just four tables but the owner was
and watch the rain-drenched scene. friendly and spoke English. It was still
Vehicles were plying as usual and drizzling as I asked directions to the

2 Womans Era May (First) 2017 2


temple. The owner gave me directions
and insisted that I take his umbrella. A
short walk brought me to a shrine in
which the large idol of Buddha was
installed. There was no one but the
priest who welcomed me with a smile.
I sat down for a few minutes on the
floor when I was offered a chair by a
woman attendant who had just then
entered. No photos were allowed

at the castle. There was boating on


the river forming the moat. I roamed a
bit approaching the castle for better
photo ops. It was an ancient castle
but well maintained. Outside there
were a few shops selling snacks.
Osaka Castle is an impressive
structure, built in typical Japanese
style with curved roofs. It is a
landmark of Osaka beautifully lit at
night. The nearest subway station is
Tanimachi 4-Chrome and it is
approached through the Otemon
Gate.
It was built at the end of the 16th
century by Toyotomi Hideyosi, a war-
lord who bought the entire country
under his rule. There is a castle
museum with interesting objects. I
inside so I settled for some outdoor THERE IS A CASTLE walked along the river bank for about
shots of the shrine. On return I half an hour admiring the cleanliness
noticed a big cemetery with many MUSEUM WITH of the water and the lovely flowering
varieties of tombstones. I returned INTERESTING OBJECTS. trees all along the river over which
the umbrella to the restaurant owner
with thanks.
I WALKED ALONG THE was spanned by a few attractive
bridges. It was time for me to return
RIVER BANK FOR ABOUT to the hotel to collect my baggage
REACHING THE CASTLE HALF AN HOUR and take another metro that took me
directly to the Shin Osaka railway
I had to change lines to reach the ADMIRING THE station where I caught a Kodama train
site of the Osaka Castle with its fort CLEANLINESS OF THE to Tokyo that stopped at all the
wall and moat. Just then it started stations.
raining heavily and my plastic
WATER AND THE LOVELY
rainproof was of no use. I was FLOWERING TREES ALL Tips
drenched and decided to abandon any ALONG THE RIVER OVER Osaka is well worth a days visit
further walk towards the castle in that with its attractions. Enchanting
weather. On the way to the subway I WHICH WAS SPANNEDLY scenery of flowering cherry trees is
went inside a museum briefly A FEW ATTRACTIVE during the Sakura festival season in
examining a few exhibits. I bought a March-April. There are several
few groceries for the dinner before I
BRIDGES. budget and starred hotels to
entered the warmth of my hotel It was easy locating the subway choose from. A variety of
room. After an early morning and taking a metro train to reach near restaurants and cafes await the
breakfast I checked out keeping my the castle. The weather was connoisseur of food and drinks. It is
luggage in the lobby. I bought the day fortunately good with sunshine. I was easily reached by a variety of trains
pass of the metro so that I could do a fascinated by the number of fully from Tokyo. Subway trains provide
bit of sightseeing before I catch a blossomed cherry trees along the good connectivity. One can buy a
train to Tokyo on the way to Sendai, banks of the river. A number of day metro pass for flexibility and
my destination for the day. visitors, mostly Japanese, had arrived cost-effectiveness. We

Womans Era July (First) 2017 127


Sthoorryt
S
Savithri,
The Invincible
Her efficiency overcame all obstacles. By Raa Iramamurthy

T
he newly posted predecessor was not a very that I can post her to,
assistant collector, popular officer, what with without soliciting its head?
Sunanda Patnaik was her hunting for the corrupt Madam, the emergency
Savithri kept the astonished to see that none people in the office and relief section is directly
storeroom spick of the 25 sections had issuing memos to so many under you.
and span, consented to the posting of people. Oh, that godown-like
Savithri to their sections. Well, that was the right section, where piles of
arranging all the They had all remarked in the thing to do. But what has unsorted relief materials like
materials in note that she was not that got to do with clothes, shoes and blankets,
proper order. She required. What kind of Savithri? have all been piled up? Well,
also came out office is this? Could you give Madam, it was Savithris I am posting Savithri to the
me one good reason for this duty to issue the memos as ER section.
with a list of strange behaviour by the the clerk in the vigilance The AC tossed the file
shortages in the sections? roared the AC to section, and thats why she back to her PA with the
stock, creating a her PA. is not wanted by any posting order of Savithri.
Madam, it is a long section. The staff suspects
new headache for
the section chief.
story, replied the PA
hesitantly.
Well, I want to hear the
that she was behind the
action of your predecessor. T he ER section head was
not at all happy to take
The AC turned out Well, is there a section, Savithri into his section and
whole thing. Make it short under my direct control, frowned at the PA, not
to be a strict and to the point, snapped daring to talk to the AC The
officer and called the AC. So, PA tried to pacify him,
for explanations Madam, your Savithri, in her Take it easy. The AC was
fresh posting had to remarking that all the relief
from the section toil all the time among materials like clothes are
head. the dusty materials. She
just piled up, without being
took it all in her stride
sorted out. You make her
and carried on
nonchalantly. toil. Get these dusty
clothes sorted
out. Get her
to prepare a category-wise been submerged and the motorcycle can negotiate sincerity of Savithri. But,
list of all the materials. That low-lying village had been it. my dear man, this is an
is how we can take revenge cut off from any kind of The AC took a suspicious emergency. Dont you think
on her. contact. look at the man. we should explore other
So, Savithri, in her fresh The collector How long will it take us methods for the sake of the
posting had to toil all the immediately ordered the AC to reach the village by this poor marooned people? If a
time among the dusty to proceed to the area with mountain route? lady is prepared to walk the
materials. She took it all in relief materials and money. About four to five hours, distance in the interest of
her stride and carried on The AC sprang into madam, was the reply. work, cant you do the
nonchalantly. action, but the dealing Madam, may I suggest a same? I think you are quite
The staff that had a assistant concerned was plan? intervened Savithri, healthy and strong. I would
grudge against her was away on leave and so it fell much to the annoyance of definitely join you, but I
furiously planning to put her to the lot of Savithri to the section chief who was have to think about the cash
in trouble, but could not do organise the matters while also in the party now. I am carrying and hence
anything so far. the money end was handled Yes, Savithri, you have cannot accompany you.
by the AC herself. When the any suggestions? replied The head clerk was very

S avithri kept the


storeroom spick and
span, arranging all the
party reached the forest
area, they found sheets of
water everywhere. The
the AC.

On one such rainy


embarrassed.
Well, madam, if you
order us to proceed by the
materials in proper order. driver of the jeep told them day, the collector mountain path, we shall
She also came out with a list that he couldnt drive the definitely do so.
of shortages in the stock, vehicle any further.
received a frantic I will give no such
creating a new headache for AC Sunanda Patnaik was message from the order, said the AC.
the section chief. The AC not one to give up. In her minister to arrange At this stage, the driver
turned out to be a strict native Odisha these kinds of immediate relief to came forward.
officer and called for floods were a perennial affair. Madam, you are going
explanations from the She said she would ask the marooned to the area by boat. So, you
section head. This added the fisheries department to villagers in a remote dont need a drivers service
further fuel to the grudge of rush in with a couple of forest area, where any more. I will accompany
the staff against Savithri. boats, but that would take Savithri by the mountain
Savithri had noticed that time and in the meanwhile,
there was a path and be ready to receive
in the record room rat the party had to wait there. cloudburst, resulting you there when you come.
poison was placed to in flash floods in a Thank you, good man!
prevent the rats from
damaging the records. She
thoughtfully placed rat
A t this juncture, a local
press correspondent
came and enquired about
wild river.
Madam, the head clerk
The matter is settled. But
how will you carry the relief
materials? queried the AC.
poison in the storeroom the relief measures being sir and myself will proceed Mules are available and
also. In a silly act of revenge, taken to help the marooned to the marooned area, by we shall transport the
when someone introduced a villagers, to which the AC the mountain route, with materials with their help,
rat in the storeroom, so that replied that they were the relief materials and replied Savithri eagerly, and
Savithri would get a bad waiting for a boat to eatables. As soon as the further added, Madam, I
name, the plot fizzled out, proceed to the area. boat comes you can come will require some money to
much to the disappointment He promptly dispatched by the water route. If we buy puffed rice, jaggery,
of the staff! a message to his paper that arrive earlier, we will start bread and biscuits as the
It was monsoon time the relief party is stuck the paperwork. marooned people will be
now and rains were causing waiting for a boat and hence The AC was impressed. starving all this time.
havoc in the district. the marooned villagers were She turned to the head clerk Very thoughtful of you,
On one such rainy day, continuing to suffer. now. What do you think Savithri! I did want to buy
the collector received a The resourceful Savithri, about the plan of Savithri? them before proceeding by
frantic message from the now with the ACs party in Will this not be a great strain jeep from here. But that is
minister to arrange the meanwhile had made and a risky one? not going to be possible
immediate relief to the her own enquiries and Yes, madam. I do not now, as we shall be going by
marooned villagers in a brought a burly man to the think we should go out of boat, they may all get
remote forest area, where AC. the way for government drenched. Take this money
there was a cloudburst, Madam, this man says work. We are not on an and go ahead. Also, take my
resulting in flash floods in a there is a circuitous adventure trip. camera for safe keeping,
wild river. Further, the only mountain route to reach the The AC had been replied the AC.
causeway in the areas had village, but no jeep or obviously pleased by the The head clerks face

Womans Era July (First) 2017 129


reddened at these develop- circumstances, said give money and materials to

Taj
ments, but he could hardly Savithri. fictitious persons, with the
say anything. The AC readily agreed connivance of the village
In a weak voice, he said, with Savithri and handed pradhan. But this was not
Savithri, keep proper over the camera to the possible now. The village
vouchers for the purchases. driver who enjoyed the task pradhan was a ruling party
It took a good six hours given very much. man and when he found
time to reach the spot. that, for the first time, help

I came to
The
The poor villagers were poor villagers were
was being given without the
all huddled on a perched all huddled on a perched usual cutting by the
place near the village place near the village school. government party he gave a

you!
school. Many people were Many people were missing, glowing report to the
missing, probably washed probably washed away by the minister.
floods. The AC.s party arrived much
away by the floods. later by boat.
The minister called the
The AC.s party arrived Savithri had already started the collector and thanked him
much later by boat. paperwork, but no one could for the prompt service
produce the ID cards or ration rendered and specifically Taj, I came to you
cards in support of their mentioned the To bury a few memories
identity.
name of Waded deep inside
Savithri for my heart.
her very When my love will come to
witness your beauty
Ask him why did he drift
apart.

Taj, I came to you


To experience the love
so divine,
Tell him his beauty has built
her soul into mine.

Taj, I came to you


To relive those memories
Which were once a reason
for a smile.
Broken into pieces is my
sincere and heart so fragile.
honest work.
The collector ordered Taj, I came to you
the grant of two additional For you to stand tall
Savithri had already The head clerks face increments to Savithri, with pride
started the paperwork, but again glowered. He much to the chagrin of the My love is also my pride
no one could produce the ID thundered, Savithri, get staff. So connected with you
cards or ration cards in the countersignature of the Last heard, Savithri and and him
support of their identity. village pradhan against each the equally service-minded I stood by your side.
The AC started work briskly entry. That is the proper jeep driver had fallen in love Yashawri Bakshi.
enough. procedure. with each other. Both their
Madam, none of these The AC snapped, There parents consenting, their
people have any ID papers is no harm in any extra marriage was solemnised in
as they had run away from precaution, in the existing a simple ceremony at a
their huts when the floods circumstances, and temple. The staff is now
came. I would suggest that directed the driver to take facing a formidable couple
we take a photo of each snaps of the recipients in to plot against. We
recipient. I have prepared a addition to the
placard for each person, countersignature. Great minds discuss
showing their names and Actually, the head clerk ideas. Average minds
other details. This is the best had a plan to allege that discuss events. Small
we can do under these Savithri had arranged to minds discuss people.

130 Womans Era July (First) 2017


For go d
Measure
Making the rough
smooth.
By Mala Ashok

T
he way we cook has evolved the tactic of saying Recipe for pasta
over the years. It used to be using basil, nuts, and spinach. Or, I 1 medium apple 1 cup
1 mashed banana 1/
that family recipes would be will ask for a recipe for sabzi using 3 cup
passed on from grandmother to bhindi and onions mainly. 1 slice bread 1/ cup
4
mother to daughters who in turn The first will generate scores of crumbs
cherished them and passed them Pesto Pastas and the second will spit 1 chocolate square 1 ounce
along. At first these were just out (Oops! That was a wrong choice 14 graham cracker 1 cup
instructions with a lot of observation. of words!) several bhindi do pyaaza squares
Then people started keeping notes recipes and also the odd bhindi 1 medium lemon 3 tblsp juice
with profuse instructions. masalas or bhindi sabzi. I find this 1 medium onion 1/
2 cup
These were the precursors to method handy since Im a vegetarian 1 cup rice 3 cups
professional cookbooks and recipes in and usually start my requests with cooked
magazines. These are still hanging in vegetarian recipe using) and 1 lb brown sugar 2/ cups
12
there and holding onto their real Bingo! lunch is planned. 22 vanilla wafers 1 cup crumbs
estate. I do have a pet peeve with all the
How much longer they will survive above methods of following recipes
is a matter of debate. I for one was a and that is the non-standard weights
staunch follower of recipes from my A pinch 1/ and measures used. This is particularly
8 tsp or less
favourite WE and still do so. But I 3 tsps 1 tbsp an issue if you are using American
must confess most of my cooking is 4tbsps 1/ recipes since cooks there use pinches,
4 cup
IPad- generated. While I havent 8 tbsps 1/ cup teaspoons, tablespoons cups, quarts,
2
accosted Siri and said to her, Help, 2 cups 1 pint pecks! Im giving below a chart for
Siri! What can I cook in 15 minutes? 4 cups 1 quart good measure. After mastering it or
Im almost there. 4 quarts 1 gallon having it handy at all times, its bon
When I first started using my iPad I 8 quarts 1 peck appetit time! We
would search for recipes and then 4 pecks 1 bushel
gather the long list of ingredients and 32 ounces quart
Every time that you hurt me, every
despair when one or two key items 1 oz liquid 2 tblsps
time I felt pain, every lie that you
were not in my pantry or fridge. Not 8 oz liquid 1 cup
told me made me who Im today.
so anymore. I have now graduated to

Womans Era July (First) 2017 131


Sthoorryt
S
Voting Fiasco Not worth the effort. By Priyanka Chauhan

I
decided to enrol my four- First, instructions were The deciding factor for
month-old son for the not clear on the website winning the competition was
Cute Baby Contest about the procedure, contest to be voting.
scheduled for this month. and the voting link. I mean, seriously!
Initial feelings with which Somehow, I filled in the Voting, I told myself.
Almost half the I filled the registration form details. Then, there was no

H
day was over, on the parenting website confirmation of the ow can voting, that too,
chasing the were of pride, elation, submitted form. by Facebook friends
mission, I glanced excitement, competitive Neither was there a decide the cute quotient of
fever, social approval and Contact Us tab on the my baby? Nonetheless, in
at my baby who recording a milestone for the website. I kept wondering order to realise my dream
was being nursed future. whether my son was (which I had seen in wide-
by my mother. As This was to be the first registered for the contest or eyes innocence during the
form I ever filled for my child. not for the next two days. form submission), I logged
I gulped down my Sure, it was mandatory for Finally, a notification did in.
food, a little plug- the competition! My eyes appear from the organisers I was online almost after a
in point came to started twinkling thinking of saying that my baby is ready year of dormancy to garner
the trophy. I would flaunt it to cut the chase. support from my social
my notice.
in front of my family and Who will be the cutest buddies.
friends after winning, I baby for the period of August I posted a vote
thought as I keyed in the 31 to September 02? it read. declamation on my FB wall
details. I reenergised myself as if to people whose updates
saying with a whistle on your I never really liked or read.
marks, get set and go to my The absurdity of the whole
little one. process made me feel selfish.

I decided to
enrol my four-
month-old son for the
Cute Baby Contest
scheduled for this
month.
Nevertheless, I kept begging below the comment box on had I sought his opinion
The same procedure
for votes from people with the contest website and read pertaining to this voting
whom I have had zero Share the link on of FB got repeated fiasco. Asking the world to
interaction in the last year. WhatsApp. I pressed and on WhatsApp with vote on his cute face seemed
what happened after that more questions and derogatory now. I felt guilty!

A s if begging and
pleading was not
enough, I started explaining
can be described only with
one word Harakiri!
The same procedure of FB
even more
troubleshooting
Had he been a grown-up
boy today, he would have
said, Mom, I do not wish to
the process to my potential got repeated on WhatsApp issues followed by be voted as the cutest baby
voters: how to follow the with more questions and by the social media.
voting link and cast their even more troubleshooting
resolutions doled I have a vote which
vote, troubleshoot and guide issues followed by out by me. matters the most yours. I
them through technical resolutions doled out by me. am the cutest baby for you,
errors, re-confirming from My school mate Gunjan 600 likes on FB as I requested by you, of you, ma.
those who assured they had, who had rolled her month- all in our circles. However, A pop-up with a clinking
reminding those who hadnt, old daughter for the same the one with 1000 likes was sound hits my mailbox
and fuming over those who contest a month back replied declared the winner, she announcing, Your son,
were as reactive as a log of to my WhatsApp text saying, voiced her angst. Voting Report is only at 33.
wood. It is the most worthless I crashed, cringed and Ask your friends and family
Almost half the day was contest. It discourages crucified myself! on Facebook to vote. We
over, chasing the mission, I parents and dusts off their I was exasperated by the
glanced at my baby who was sentiments attached to the evening and cursed myself Being happy doesnt mean
being nursed by my mother. baby. This was the only for having done something that everything is perfect.
As I gulped down my food, a thing left for me to hear, as messy as this. It means that youve
little plug-in point came to I sulked. Besides, I overlooked decided to look beyond
my notice. It was given just My daughter received what my son would have felt, the imperfections.
I
t is said that a poet is born and not made which means
a poet possesses a talent that cannot be taught.
However, our thoughts, ideas, feelings can change over
time. So, I dont think a poet is born. If we have an
obsession and strength of mind, we can be anything. A poet
and poetic thoughts are shaped by life experiences,
attitudes and every situation. Poetry is the secret of
happiness, I believe. Poetry lies within each and everyone
for some it is dormant and for someone it is active. Poems
are a way of expression, of what you experience or what
you imagine. Since it deals with experience and a thought
process, you don't have to be a born poet.
A poet is simply in touch with common humanity as well
as with firm thought which he or she experiences from the
ambiance around him or her. A poets interest towards the
changing face of language and his or her presentation is
more influential when it touches both mind and heart at
multiple levels. Both the pain and love, a poet or poetess
feels in a different light is the same pain and love that others
feel in the same situation. Just the trigger is different, the
atmosphere is different and the degree of pain and love is
different but the basic experience is the same.

IS A
POET REALLY
BORN? Or is the talent inborn? By Mithun Dey

To answer whether poets are born or created, I have


come across many poets who used to be a doctor or an
engineer but they were well known for their poetic genius.
Robert Burns was a farmer but he reached heights of
poetry and was famed as a Scottish poet. Interestingly,
those who disliked poetry most in early life, later became
poets and William James Dawson, an English poet, is one
of the finest examples of it.
Some became inspired to write poetry as it is said
poetry comes from inspiration. William Shakespeare was
also inspired from his most favourite authors Geoffrey
Chaucer, Plutarch and a Roman poet Ovid. It is said that
Ovid's Metamorphoses was a powerful source of
inspiration for William Shakespeare. Wilfred Owen became
interested in poetry after being inspired by John Keats and
Shelley. On the other hand, Robert Frost was inspired and
motivated by his wife Elinor Miriam feelings/emotional stimuli will try to tools to create poetry. There are
(White) Frost. She was the foremost express it in a heightened form in the hordes of poetry available on-line
inspiration for his poetry. William language he or she cultivates that from where one could draw
Wordsworth drew inspiration from gives experienced sensibility and the inspiration as Shakespeare did from
Dorothy Wordsworths journal. More, medium of expression is language Plutarch. Though most of what is read
Rabindranath Tagore drew mastered through practice in which is forgotten, sometimes these pieces
encouragement from the people and he or she endeavours to attain the do become poetry. Yes they do. We
life around him. Tagore received much maximum suggestibility. readers still sometimes achieve that
inspiration from the Upanishads. His A poet and critic, Dr Zinia Mitra sense of heightened experience. So I
poetic works were influenced by the quoted, as John Keats famously said, would like to say, it is not that a poet
devotional poets Ramprasad Sen and if poetry comes not as naturally as is born or is made it is poetry that is
Kabir. Later, he was influenced by the the leaves to a tree, it had better not born, out of the ashes of a
Baul tradition. come at all. (Letter to John Taylor, smouldering life. And with the death
I have presented in this piece views Hampstead, 27 February, 1818). Dr of the author, it is poetry that lives on.
from both sides from a number of Mitra also said that it is true that great
poets and scholars. poets have a unique way of perceiving
Poet and critic, Adil Jussawalla and expressing things that all of us do THE KINETIC LANGUAGE
said, Its experience that makes a not share. We have the famous story On the otherhand, Arundhathi
person a poet and that no one is born of Kalidasa, the great Sanskrit poet Subramaniam, a poet and writer,
a poet. who while all other poets described a explained I think an excitement
Sitakant Mahapatra, a noted Indian dry tree trunk as Sushkang about kinetic language is something
poet and literary critic, explained that kashthang tishati agre cried out every child is capable of. And kinetic
poets are both born and made: they Nirasa tarubara purata bhaage. This language, in essence, is poetry.
are born with a special gift and by Everyone sings at least in the
their sensitivity and social culture they bathroom! And likewise everyone has
become poets. The intensity of A POET AND CRITIC, DR written a poem at least by the age
absorbing experience is very essential
for true poets. ZINIA MITRA QUOTED, of 16! Why? Because music and poetry
are ancient arts, that fulfil a very
AS JOHN KEATS primal human need for self-
A MATTER OF DISCOVERY FAMOUSLY SAID, expression. Does that mean everyone
is a poet? She answered that, yes. But
On the other hand, Abhay Kumar, IF POETRY COMES poetry, like music, and any other art,
an Indian poet, diplomat said, Poets takes work. It takes years of listening
are not born as leaders or singers are
NOT AS NATURALLY AS and reading, years of painstaking
not born. I think it is just a matter of THE LEAVES TO A TREE, craftsmanship, rigour and immersion.
discovery. As we grow up, we find There is no short cut to that. So
different ways to respond to our
IT HAD BETTER NOT everyone is a potential poet, I do
surroundings, express ourselves. COME AT ALL. believe, but it takes hard work and
Poetry is one of many ways to do so. humility and rigour to become a full-
More, Prof. Makarand R. fledged poet.
Paranjape, an Indian poet said, Poets singular imagination of a dry tree She also said, It's unfortunate
are both born and made, but the trunk as a dead tree is unique and that many young people write poetry,
making part is, perhaps, more cannot be perceived by all. No doubt but don't necessarily read poetry. I
important. Many, for instance, who the Romantics had given such an think it's important to remember that
have a natural talent or inclination for importance to the power of to be a poet you also need to cultivate
verse, dont make it because they Imagination. the art of listening -- the art of
havent put in the kind of effort and She also said that there is another listening acutely, sensitively,
training required to master the view, however, that cannot be attentively. That's in desperately
medium. On the other hand, by trying ignored, especially with the flood of short supply in the world today.
and struggling, over and over again, poetry on Facebook and on Nandini Sahu, a poet, writer and
some, albeit a few, do become e-magazines, with the self-publishing critic, told me that is a poet really
authors of considerable renown. houses promoting verses, arranging born? sounds interesting. Poets are
This is not all. A most prominent symposiums, albeit for business shaped by lifes experiences and wide
poet-critic, Dr. Harekrishna Deka said purposes. One can become a poet. reading no doubt about it. I still
that poetry takes birth in a poets There are tools available on the believe, poets are born, to be shaped
mind. Nobody is a born poet. A person Internet to help one rhyme, maybe and nurtured.
with fine sensibility, imagination and also to help them with unique images, Writer and poet Minakshi Thakur
desire to express his or her help them juxtapose and use other said, I do think poets are born as

Womans Era July (First) 2017 137


poets. Of course, they can evolve talent, time, energy, connections real and emotional. We can find
over time and become poets of the everything else that contributes to poetry in the musical structure of
world. The environment, being a poet but without the will, language, lyrics to songs, ones love,
circumstances shape them and hone nothing will happen. ones grief and pain. Poetry is the
their skills. In view of all these, lets finally image of nature. Poetry is thoughts,
A Somali American educator, poet come to a conclusion on the issue. poetry is feeling confessing itself and
and writer, Sofia Samatar told me that In order to understand poetry, its poetry is affective. Every flow of the
while people may be born with not mandatory to be a poet. You just ocean makes poetry. Poetry seeps
different levels of sensitivity to need to love poetry and engage with into the subconscious while
language, poets are not really formed poetrys dynamicsthe feelings and addressing the conscious. We
by this sensitivity, but by desire. To emotions that are enmeshed with the
me, the most important element for language which carries them. We find
It is never too late to be what you
becoming a poet or any kind of poetry everywhere and it serves every
writer is a will. A person may have level of sensitivity and situation, both
might have been.

had to attend a family function in passenger bought peaunts of (` 10)


Nainital. En route, they stopped for tea worth and the boy gave him an
at Kaladhungi, on the foothills of empty envelope with the peanuts.
Nainital. The stall owner, another Anna The passenger asked him what to do
fan, declared, Main Anna hoon topis with this envelope? the boy replied,
are selling like hot cakes in the region, After peeling the peanuts keep the
sahib. It bears testimony to the peel in this envelope. Dont through it
popularity of the anti-graft crusader. anywhere in the train. The
As the vehicle started its painful passenger asked Why do you say
The craft of graft ascent from there, Pramod, at the so? The boy said, train is just like
It was August 2011. The septua - wheel, was exhorted by Vimla to press my house, I get my bread and butter
genarian Anna was fasting for a on the accelerator. Remember, if we from here, so it is my duty to keep it
strong ombudsman in the form of Jan reach the entry toll after 3 pm, we clean.
Lokpal at the Ramlila Maidan in New would have to shell out ` 100, she I looked at him and thought the
Delhi. The diminutive figure of Anna warned Pramod, reminding him that lesson of cleanliness can be taught by
thundering from the stage, the sea of the toll doubles from a modest `50 to a anyone and this is our duty, not
humanity, wearing Gandhi caps and pinching `100 for vehicles reaching the burden.
waving tricolours, respon ding with hill station after 3 pm. Despite Tulsi Tankha, Ratlam.
matching enthusiasm were making Pramods best efforts, they reached
for riveting television coverage. The the toll post at Bara Pathar a shade
surcharged atmos phere looked so above 3, which, with a little flexibility
promising. could have gone their way. However,
The movement had also caught the person manning the toll refused to
the fancy of the people of budge and, justifiably, demanded `100. Has something
happened in your life
Uttarakhand, with flash mobs As Pramod, unsuccessfully, tried to
that has left an indelible
pouring out their ire against the all- reason with him, his wife rolled down
impression on your mind? Some
prevalent bribe culture. Some, like the window and thrust a crumpled `50 experience that gladdens your heart
the middle-aged Vimla, had got so note into his hands, suggesting to him or which makes you shudder with
enamoured with the Jan Lokpal that a receipt was not required. pain or embarrassment even after
movement that she had forced her Without changing his strict demeanour, years! Why not share it with the
husband Pramod to take leave from as if it was business as usual, he calmly readers of Womans Era? All
his office in Ramnagar to be a part of pocketed the amount and promptly slid published incidents will be paid
history being made on ground zero the barrier to one side. Rs 200. Send your entries to:
(Ramlila Maidan). Flush with An impressed Pramod looked THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET
excitement after coming back from askance at Vimla, who flashed a
the capital, Vimla could not help victorious smile at him, and the vehicle E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
Womansera.com
gushing about the imminent welcome sped forward.
changes in society, strongly feeling Vijai Pant, Kashipur. Name:
that corruption, big or small, would Mobile:
get banished in times to come. Swachh-minded train vendor E-mail:
Soon after their return the couple I was travelling in a train when a

138 Womans Era July (First) 2017


Watch out for them. By Sudha Chandrasekaran

A
lmost every girl has been to appalling acts of rape, who is to be
chided at some point of time blamed? Are we to blame these girls
in her life by her mother for for not treating the man they saw
the short length of her frock or for walk behind them with a sense of
that revealing pattern of a dress. In all deep mistrust? Or for alighting from
likelihood, she cribbed but also the bus without suspecting that there
obliged because she had been told could be a rapist just waiting to
that revealing too much skin invited pounce on them? Would this entire
trouble. Not only this, she had also struggle become less daunting if we
been constantly warned against could possibly tell a rapist by looking
strangers Stranger is danger! at him, which indeed is difficult? Rape,
But when this same girls fall prey as per statistics, is one of the most
under-reported acts of monstrosity
across all nations. The very cruelty of
these acts leaves many trembling with
fear.
Who is a potential rapist? Is he an
anti-social element or is he a
psychopath? Is he always leching on
women in public? There is evidence
that these rapists may be mixing well
with their surroundings but, on the
other hand they may be extreme
individuals too. This unnerving detail need to be wary of certain danger this is capable of unlimited violence
puts several men known to you under signals. Broadly speaking, a potential and damage with a jock or gorilla
the scanner. A majority of rapists have rapist will exhibit the following signs: mentality this mentality promotes
anti-social and narcissistic personality Impulsivity and anger outbursts; both acceptance and encouragement
disorders. What we need to know is Verbal and physical violence without for the use of violence. It is especially
that child molesters and rapists are provocation; Inappropriate touching common among people who indulge
agitated minds turned mentally sick and fondling of younger siblings or in contact sports. What is most
patients. These traits of theirs are friends; teasing behaviour, especially guileful about this type is that the
formed mostly during their childhood in school; threatening others with dire jock receives not only positive
and adolescent days. Several allied consequences; suspicious and encouragement and reinforcement,
therapies medicine, behavioural paranoid behaviour; spending hours but a big applause for aggressive and
counselling, psychosocial support in self-stimulatory activities like violent behaviour. People with this
need to co-ordinate their tasks to trap masturbation; poor work ethics; Lying mentality fail to draw the line
those minds before they go out of and stealing are two of the major between playing in the field and real
control."A rapist doesn't necessarily undesirable attributes that would life.
have to be under the influence of have developed early in life which
alcohol or drugs, but it is the mind later on would have led to anti-social
that is prone to such heinous acts," Dr behaviour. Spining stories just for the JUST AN EXCUSE
Sen adds. sake of projecting a good image of Alcoholic drinks and drugs are not
Civilisation has made a headway himself in front of others. Socially the cause of bad behaviour but rather
over the years from being a male- uncomfortable with the opposite sex they are used as an excuse! Often, the
controlled society to one of gender but after consuming addictive attacker intentionally becomes
equality. But this, unfortunately, has substances shows aggression. intoxicated to ignore the social
not been recognised by a vast number Immature thinking and restrictions and inhibitions regarding
of men and they claim that it is their impressionable and hence gets violence. This addiction can be traced
birthright to trample on and suppress influenced easily by friends. back to selfishness and a refusal to
women. They feel that damaging a Communication style is imitative and change ones world view. Low self-
woman and scarring her identity for is into reverse thinking; Self-centred esteem is one of the main
life is the best way to teach her a to the point where he always puts his contributing factors of victimisation.
permanent lesson. A riotous mind is needs and wants and feelings above Says Keller, Men who rape have
one that has been hurt and will think those of others and makes others feel no experience of relationships based
only in terms of hurting others. A bad for not doing what he wants. on sharing, reciprocity, mutuality or
history of physical and mental Belittles others. Will be a man who attentiveness to another persons
violence by caregivers in the earlier will make your no to sex into a needs (Keller, 1989).
years of ones life results in yes whether you like it or not. Not all rapists look besmirched and
suppressed anger and abhorrence Exhibits sudden changes of mood. lurk in dark corners of gullies. We
towards ones own family and makes Most people cannot suddenly go never can say for sure who is a rapist
him feel that he is unworthy of love. from happy to angry but a man like and who is not, but do watch out for
He starts to believe that the only way men who consider women as sex
to get love and affection is by force objects. Treat them with scant
alone. Since childhood such children MOST WOMEN WHO ARE respect, intrude into their personal
are attracted to watching the
opposite sex during acts of bathing
RAPED ARE SUBJECTED spaces and touch them in an
uncomfortable and inappropriate
and dressing. TO THIS BRUTAL ACT BY way, especially when the touches are
Most women who are raped are SOME KNOWN PERSON unreciprocated. Added to these signs
subjected to this brutal act by some women need to be wary of staring
known person a colleague, a date, A COLLEAGUE, A DATE, behaviour from strangers; stalkers;
an old boyfriend with whom she had AN OLD BOYFRIEND WITH one who makes lewd comments on
fallen out, a close relative, etc. their private parts; anyone who acts
According to FBI statistics, one out of
WHOM SHE HAD FALLEN over-friendly; a person who is trying
three women are likely to be raped OUT, A CLOSE RELATIVE, to get too familiar in a drunker state;
during their lifetime. It has been ETC. ACCORDING TO FBI someone who sits too close, presses
estimated that 25 to 30 per cent alone your hand or shoulders and brushes
are raped by strangers and in the rest STATISTICS, ONE OUT OF past you repeatedly saying sorry. Not
of the cases the victims know their THREE WOMEN ARE all men who display these
rapist. LIKELY TO BE RAPED characteristics are rapists, but it is
There is no definite way to know important to take note of the
whether a man will rape you, but you DURING THEIR LIFETIME. behaviours of the men around you.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 141


WHAT IS A person displaying these
DATE-RAPE DRUG? characteristics has a higher
probability when compared to
Date-rape drugs are usually others. These traits are found in
administered through beverages. professional criminals as well. The
The common date rape drugs are quality of selfishness ranks high
rohypnol (roofies) and gamma amongst these individuals and what
hydroxybutric acid (GHB). These matters is the degree, style and
drugs are tasteless, odourless and their choice of victims.
colourless and are soluble in any Remember that although being
drink and dissolve within a matter aware of your surroundings and
of seconds and take effect within 10 despite knowing the art of
minutes. To avoid these drugs, defending, the fault is ultimately
avoid accepting drinks from not that of the rapist and not of the
very well- known people and do not victim. Putting aside these points, a
ever leave your beverage unattended. disease like herpes or HIV will put a long-term solution to this problem lies
halt to the barbaric attack. Have in educating our future generations of
Guard yourself in suspicious confidence in yourself and follow your both sexes right from their formative
situations: If your sense warns you of instincts and, last but not least, trust years about gender equality and
a possible rape, get out of the scene your own feelings. Only you know if it about respecting and helping others.
immediately. If you are being sexually is best to fight back or act This is the best way to prevent a
assaulted try to maintain a calm submissively to avoid further injury. potential rape. Being well informed
composure as it is easy to think of a Rapists are predators. By following on this subject of rape can go a long
possible way out of the situation. these steps, you can try to make your way in helping you avoid dangerous
Begging and crying does not help world a little safer from those situations. We
much. Instead you should revolt and predators.While there are others,
fight back, try to exit from the scene these behaviours are serious
Never lose yourself while trying to
and scream for help. Saying that you indicators of a potential rapist or hold on to someone who doesnt
are a victim of a sexually transmitted abuser. All men are not rapists, but a care about losing you.

Why take your life?


Humans mostly want to live as long as possible
But when from a history of misery and agony,
Despair and sorrow puncture a vulnerable heart
And depression and pain crush a cringing spirit
Then all the light gets snuffed out totally
and hopeless darkness suffocates, ultimately
then, some dont care about the soul
Or its existence, dreams or goal.
Life gets insufferable and unbearable
Each heartbeat a guilt, humiliation or a blame
And the masochistic thoughts sear like a flame
A premeditated plan or a moments madness
takes away the will to live even a breath I am weak and I cant survive any longer
And makes one embrace unredeemable death Because I dont have the will-power
Alas! Many commit suicide without a thought To continue struggling and fighting bravely.
For their loved ones. A life so precious gone in a second, Suicide in any form is to be condemned in life
A calamity too gruesome even to reckon Why glorify it as a heros sacrifice?
for their family. Maybe the cause cant be remedied The best is to take precautions and prevent it
but why surrender? For abject surrender it is! By helping those living on the edge of a precipice
The self-destructive cowardly act suggests, Rungeen Singh.

142 Womans Era July (First) 2017


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144 Womans Era July (First) 2017


a state of anxiety, anger, agony and cricketers are given less importance
irritation, there are equally several and do not get due recognition despite
other remedies and solutions to splendid performances and wins in
control as well as dispense with this International tournaments bringing
crucial and critical factor of irritability glory to the nation.
from across our social order. However, It is even more disturbing that as
such remedies and solutions are not talent gets a raw deal, individual
elusive given our present-day vast record-breaking performances go
networks of spiritual and medical unnoticed. In fact, the indifference,
systems of various kinds working out at lack of recognition, encouragement
various levels. and support to women cricketers
Bh. Indu Sekhar, Hyderabad. inspite of been playing since long only
D
life style, we
ue to a stressfulsome point or
problems,
cause heart
in the long

There are
attacks.
term, it can

various triggers
for
irritation to
NOT ANGER BUT goes to show that we do not give
RIGHTEOUS
at
all get angry perfectly from mild one
Anger is a anger ranging For instance,
the other. healthy
but violent outbursts. about an
normal sometimes and body psychologi
st talks
real problem
your mind child whose
emotion for and
linarian and
over-
becomes explosive aggressive
when anger it can affect
your lay in an over-discip man,
a 55-year-old always
more frequent critical mother, , who

necessary encouragement to women's


of A personality way, and a
health. the release with type
Anger stimulates and to go his
like cortisol in wanted things felt stress and
stress hormones an increase young man who witnessing
adrenaline,
causing and build up after
heart rate

INDIGNATION GIVE RECOGNITION TO


depression attacks.
blood pressure, also disturb the the 26/11 terror anger: Years of
It can and
breathing. system, sleep Woman and women
have taught
bodys immune anxiety, depression genetic training
While

r
digestion. are short-term to why

Manage you
and headaches remains as
Still the question snayasis and
are having in trap of theseexploit their

cricket as much as is given to men's


people fall

S
over India
anyasis all them to sexually

EDITORIAL
since noted better off
It all began was sent allow is somewhat terms of

ANGER
bad days. Bapu children. Kerala states in
godman Asaram girl. Since many other nt.
of raping a and than developme

WOMEN CRICKETERS
to jail on charges more snayasis literacy and
economic -women
many godmen and public. It
then so on various tribes of the
been booked murder, Still, and exploit
godmen have from rape, thrive there state to
the welfare to
charges rangingRecently, a so-calleda is the duty of necessities
etc.
beaten up
in the basic
cheating,
Baba was provide all it is a despicable
Bhatia sanyasi Om he uninivtedly public and to perform
By Pushpa states fail
Cool it. village after common
West Delhi and began that mostly

Apropos the article cricket. Therefore, it is only natural that


a social gathering towards fact masses wanting.,
they arrived in leaving the
get hurt if able signals this duty, living in deprivation
are likely to repress anger to make objection People constantly, and godmen
that they . So they kids, a woman. these sanyasis to end their
get aggressive beings like approach measures

SANYASIS
on weaker
or vent it . for remedial
themselves these
pets or even anger takes the shape woes. known whetherthe lives

BAD DAYS FOR


Repressed ng, over- It is not improving
, over-drinki woman from succeed in succeed in
of over-eating behaviour, of sanyasis people, but they do
Then a 22-year-old the capital in

Manage Your Anger-


obsessive to
exercising, and attempts of a of
these exploit them
thapuram, them and
suicidal tendencies secretive means. Thiruvanan off the penis for trapping manner,
including
through as pain Kerala, chopped raping her possible women of
the

Appropros the outstanding women cricketers get hurt


hurt others up in the body has been the every sex with the
It usually shows sanyasi who It is reported that
origin, also
skin disorders
DEGRADING seven years. knew well that
her unbridled don
of unknown difficulties. DEMOCRACY is
girls mother being raped but she
did household.sanyas, these godmenjust to

B
and breathing As for prime
normal, ritish democracy of was quiet. robe in their sanyas is
Anger is perfectly But when it regarded
as the Mother daughter
stop this
and kept the sanyasis people. Real
emotional. s, it s. This mother nothing to also been the gullible ones life, when a
sometimes your relationship all democraciegoing to poll on mother has reporting cheat of
starts affecting s is Now, the for not the last phase
all familial duties.
of all democraciethe new parliament by police free from
becomes a
problem. ties with elect detained
abuse of her
daughter. person gets lead an ascetic
Aparna cut 8 June and Emily Pinarayi she should

Cool It by Pushpa
the sexual Then he or sanyasis thriving

WE
22-year-old he started Brexit. 22-year-old who chief minister hoards of
cousin when for a smooth Even Kerala hold his laughter and life. But the present a contradicto
ry
her closest minor things. election candidate from
temper over Owen is an election Vijayan could not t would India
losing his

editorial in (June I). on been overlooked by the board and


he she if his governmen all over
he is enraged, around is contestingLabour Party and when asked godman, said, lifestyle of
opulence.
Whenever
s with everyone
for
Aberconwy by messages from men against the
older take action
misbehave are much
is bombarded strip for votes and action is needed?
those who was so What more TERS
WOMEN CRICKE
him, even to
she says. I that asking her size of her cricket when
than he is, with his behaviour to know the
disappoint
ed
a year now.
demanding trolled with
she is being announc- NEGLECTED wicket-take
r in womens a few days
spoken for tend to rack. In fact, since from IPL up 181 wickets

I
we havent messages emerging she picked
anger issues 'disgusting' election. ndia is just enter ICC back. and star
People with by saying to contest and about to skipper
around them ing her decision shocked mania and matches Then Indias Raj became the first
hurt people Trophy. IPL of
Apparently sexist abuse Champions were topics this batsman Mithali captain 100
ed at the to such cricketer to
embarrass
rightly retaliatedwont be and cricketers e. But amid of Indian woman captaining

Bhatia (WE: June - II). There is no iota of the sponsors.


Emily has You
everywher nt She has been 2004 and
discussion achieveme matches.
men by tweeting: their penis missed the ODI eleven since
hoopla was who recently Indian womens credit. In
asking male
candidates cricketers, lar ODI to her
women 60 wins men, Sachin
to d in a quadrangu Indian has n, among in 73 ODIs.
size. men are eager participate where compariso
It seems British her body. Their South Africa has captained achieve -
explore series in created history. the Tendulkar incredible
see and a young womann women cricketers proud moment Deepti
for Despite these usually
attitude towards the degradatio It was a women cricketers side
exposes women cricketers ments, Indian while mens has
candidate . For them country when became the the limelight Mithali
democracy do Punam Raut partnership miss
in British and intelligence Sharma and away all applause. about
political acumen candidate happens share a 300-run against the takes expressed her anguish bear
first pair to made a 320 that stadiums

The scientific aspects related to the


in rightly

doubt that women's Notwithstanding the fact that


if the such thing
not matter
woman. Had media would in ODIs. They at Potchefstr oom neglect, saying womens cricket
to be a from this look during viewers watch
in India, our Ireland teamSharma scored 188
air space by deserted very few This is
happened pages and South Africa. second highest score of matches and TV sets.
have spilled male mentality. This 160 balls
the
Belinda Clark playing on the
in ODIs after has become a them ory and against
flaying Indian be a lesson for Indian a woman discriminat
episode should who declare Indian This series with certainly game. W
Australia. women, spirit of ansera.com
women also, and sex hungry and for Indian the highest
as milestone becoming write to: editor@wom
men lecherous or western men Jhulan Goswami
idolise British .
icons of masculinity

feeling and causes of anger have been cricket will receive less Sachin's cricketing feat holds a special
well illustrated in this article. The attention from administrators, media place in cricket history, sadly Mithali Raj
reaction associated with the divine trait and cricket loving public as long as got no recognition so far for her
of anger among humans should be Indians are blindly caught in men's phenomenal feat as captain and star
exposed spontaneously in a positive cricket frenzy. It is sad that women batswoman of the indian team.
and acceptable manner rather than
allowing it to be suppressed. Irritability
WHEN WOMEN WILL
from
womb I heard
still in the

W
hen I was the son-
that in India resulting
various sources very strong

realise and give regard or respect


attitude is

among human beings is an individual preference the well-off


ly among
s, especial eloped states
le abortion
in large-sca and in well-dev 940:1000.

FEEL FREEDOM!
d families ie.
and educate sex ratio
the skewed

Is it
resulting in

rather than a social cause of concern. my fault which they themselves expect from
that my
One becomes irritable when one loses gender is This refers to the women folk ? Why this discrimination?
FEMALE? a A. Rashee
d

article Is it My Fault that


By Dr Rameez
nhood.
Woes of woma

his or her temper to cope up with I strongly feel that women themselves
al
fundament
world. My me.
seeing this denied to
born was
my right to be
Foeticide foetus. When
I was a female was confirmed, Infanticide allowed me to be born
pregnancy But my
mothers in my family. My family determine
there was
jubilation the minute could not as girl
into sorrow child to be since they I was born
that turned birth and When
learnt that
the sex before in a poor family.

My Gender is Female?
to the
the family
be a girl, thanks . into this world I heard that in India
born would in medical technology I was still
alive is

have to leap forward in one voice for


nt female infanticide

situations around. Chronic irritability is


advanceme
day, I was
helplessly practice of and security
From that weeping all
the due to dowry y
my mother widespread contributes significantl
and and
watching her room
privacy of problems of missing
time in the against the to the number description
).
my father martia Sens
arguing with family to abort me women(A birth, the
decision of
the
eldest child
to date of my
From the my father
wanted the family and
since they only their
will elders in the to kill me since they
be a boy. Finally, wishes were planning
over my mothers from 7
prevailed
brutally prevented
and I was

(woes of womanhood) their own rights. Mindset of the men


(First) 2017

a symptom of mental disorder rather


Era May
Womans

than a common tendency. In fact, there by Dr Rameeza A. has to be changed from the grass-
is voluminous work of research Rasheed. (WE May I, 2017) I am really roots level. Educating both the sexes
generated in clinical psychology and disheartened to read the plight of from the beginning of life is the need
psychiatry on this aspect of irritation women in the country where Durga, of the hour. Age-old dictum BOYS
commonly identified as an undesirable Laxmi and Saraswati are worshipped WILL BE BOYS has to be changed.
tendency among normal human with great fervour. And men humiliate Though in such a grim scenario it is
beings. and exploit women time and again not a joke to change the mindset
Control over one's own senses is just to satisfy their own ego and immediately or in near future. It may
necessary to keep one's own quality of dominant nature. take years and years of struggle, fight
irritability unexploded in order not to It is very painful to reveal that in and endevours on both sides.
become a cause for offence and the whole span of womens life there Education on war footing and ads,
external violence, for which, of course are more than 95 per cent cases displays, exhibits and stringent laws
one needs a balance of mind and of where women have to undergo one have to play the role of eradicating
senses. A congenial atmosphere to lead or more of stages which are such a stigma from the society.
a serene, happy and violence-free life is mentioned by the author. It is a fact Mothers, sisters, wives daughters and
possible only when the undesirable that women are harassed, silenced, friends have to come forward and
sense of irritability is dispensed with abused, disgraced, tortured, raped, mend their ways in an amiable way.
from across the mental state of molested and even killed in this Isnt COOL? When women will feel
individuals in society who are reactive, patriarchal society, not even in our freedom from all the atrocities
impulsive and are let down by such country but throughout the world. It inflicted upon them and move freely
state of irritability during the well- is a great irony that the creator of the like their counterpart anytime and
tamed course of their interaction with human life is savagely doomed ! anywhere in the world without any
other people. It is a fact that men and women fear! The motto LIVE AND LET
While there are several and multiple are equal partners for the creation of OTHERS LIVE will hold good !
causes which are responsible to create human life Then why dont men Shobha Jyoti, New Delhi.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 145


Time has come when we need a I recorded
way back
not, he was
the
Mans Mans
ts a Mans singer James Brown
in 1966. You
right.
World

agree or

onto the
the most

In this day

hard nut,
of deepening
another way age, when balance
and
n relationship
man-woma supposedly important
this
clogs the
Isnt this yet
wanted detail. patriarchy?

is already
in a

little progress
a
A CHILD BELONGS them easily. They can be, however,
TO BOTH PARENTS
are passed information equality. Mothers
Certain rules with an expectation we make towards to be given
equal
next generation without deserves it
name, too, not more. After all,

more vibrant and positive approach outwitted through conscious efforts.


will be accepted , if
that they century, weightage
In the 21th for to tango.
questions.
logic is sought takes two
however, peoples faces
s thrown at such in social media digital age
stereotype One Furore
of rules. is a hyperactive
in the name le decree
unreasonab name. We live in and videos
go viral
irksome and where information of likes
with the fathers the number
obsession to admission in seconds; post makes the content
certificates answer a
From birth s seek an received on
even in
application of paternal be written
forms, all question worthy to s.
to this eternal is the end-all and
be- and newspaper media has

towards women's cricket by giving due Should we ever relax our alertness they
if this magazines social
lineage as on Earth. with time, for people
dilemma faced the Therefore,
potent medium
all for every neurosis of asking become a yet timeless
issues.
This lunatic at birth, to raise pertinent
begins right all a Ralte, a
Facebook
fathers name a vicious cycle in Lalnunsang an
into becomes Shillong, wrote our
developing circuits. It user from sneers at
legal and leading poem which him often

Whats in a Name?
evocative
t for reminding
governmen father. They're
late
about his

recognition and encouragement on par Fathers Refer to Whats in a Is it not in


mothers?
the
could raise their head again. And only
Fathers Name?
Chauhan

with men's cricket so that they do not by conscious and tireless effort made
By Priyanka

feel a neglected lot any more. Similarly, Priyanka Chauhan (WE towards that end in all sincerity for a
the Sports Ministry must also plan to June I 2017). A child is long stretch of time, could bring about
make the administration of women's born out of father and mothers love the desired change. In fact, given our
cricket more professional so that it (sex!). As such child belong to both power of free will, which is duly aided
gets the attention and response it parents equally. Also, child gets many by faculty of discriminate intelligence
deserves which in turn encourages traits-inherits qualities, etc. of both we could identify, acknowledge and
more women players to perform their father and mother. Neither totally it address our inherent frailties.
best in international tournaments to belongs only to mother or father. A Beena Mathur, Pune.
bring more laurels to the nation. mother is involved more emotionally as
R. Srinivasan, Secunderabad. she carries the child in her womb for
none months. But rightly it is her Sho rt
Story Apart
A TOUCHING STORY
Drifting
The story Drifting
Rao
By Rama to get their
going to him issues
To what end? He had brought problems and

pleasure and most satisfying emotional


gentleman. in the

O
Vishnur of changes resolved.
m Vishvam about a lot a few months
Bhuta
ashram withinHe started had

T
Vashatkaro
he ambulance a
Bhavya Bhavat of his joining.
inmates to
lead there was
arrived and
Prabhuh. Vishnuwas being teaching the ashram. The
by involving buzz in the
am an active life, yoga, chess, out of Mr
Sahasranam m, the in doctor came and declared,
true played at Anandashra themselves more
Raghavs room
Yes, it was old-age home
in gardening
and many
Initially, there He is no more. shocked.

Apart By Rama Rao,


a sign
that in these Ahmedabad
. This was
of the
such activities. to his Everyone was
no some resistancesheer not come to
three years that the inmates was
by his

desire fulfilled. Father too has the


started their changes. But They could the
ashram had the fact that
one had visited Suddenly,
the he started
becoming terms with
None daily routine. A hush swept nature, with all the man who was
watching
Mr Raghav. alarm went
off. . very popular ashram. TV with them
entire ashram of inmates of
the cricket on
of the inmates through the
meant that
one of them started yesterday
and cheering
hit a
Soon, many
had the courage This alarm
was ill or, even
a batsman
loudly when no more.
about the inmates got up and was
to ask him life. worse. Saroja She asked,
boundary in-charge of
Mr Ojha, the to the
l He
his persona a rushed outside. had brought the ashram
, went
He was such that What happened? has had a about a lot
of changes
office room
and everyone
Mr Ojha
Mr Raghav within a few
good person gathered outside. No one

happiest moment of life on arrival of


in the ashram joining. He

May II issue, made my


to We have
heart attack. months of
his
was heard
saying,
nobody wanted informed Dr
Mishra and

the inmates
started teaching life, by visited Mr
Raghav in
these
even
hurt his feelingsany called an ambulance.
had joined to lead an
active
in three years.
He did not
him Mr Raghav involving themselves contact number
by asking m three years ed yoga. give us any should we
Anandashra well-travell What
persona l back. He was ed
a or address.
might be left
do now? We to
question s. and well-inform option but
with no other rites
last
perform his

their child. It is another matter that heart sink. Fate and


society get-up is like that it is more of destiny has something
fathers child than the mothers. in store for every
In upbringing of child both mother human being and it is predetermined.
and father are equally important and How a poem with a few lines (showing
have a different role to play. Both that pen is mightier than a sword) and
parents are equally important for the money sent to a different State before
qualitative growth of the child. In a mutual talk between each other,
todays world of equality of sex-gender changed the life of an otherwise happy
women and men too are raising the family, simply due to misunder -
child alone. Though the number of men standing, is clearly felt in this story. An
are very low but now on an increasing open talk by Madhu with her husband
trend. It is better if both parents-father Raghav, could have cleared all her
and mothers name are used and made doubts and guilt. The guilt by Madhu
essential in all spheres of life including on realising her mistake, made her get
legal require ments. Such a practice back and unite with her beloved lastly.
shall add more colours to married life Preetha Rengaswamy, Chennai.
of the couple. So, what is the fuss in
The prize is awarded to:
keeping both parents name in the life Shobha Jyoti, New Delhi.
of the child.
Mahesh Kapasi, New Delhi.
WOMAN'S ERA
invites readers
BITS
AN ANALYTICAL PIECE opinions and
HASSLING HA reactions on
DIE HARD
This refers to the se civility

but know
not
Becau
is tough.
By Mahara
ja K. Koul

articles, short stories


what we are,

analytical and infor- We know re

and features published


be. William Shakespea
what we may makes us
breach
what
So. err, social
smoke. We in
spit. civility or forget worth th
the code of

W
ere fat. We Every handbook aunt
much. Defecate courtesies?
Drink too or every agony
the open.
Dont exercise printers ink ascribe
ered. Were advice would
worth her cultural
short-temp
enough. WereAnd our stress levels
are conduct to
d. sidetracked of morality or simply,
mores, states

in Womans Era. The best


ill-mannere

mative article titled


off the charts. ourselves, and we .
eccentricity all good manners mu
Were killing we carry on Of course, wal
yet If Mr Chatterjee
know it. And urinating start at home.balcony of his second
, lighting up, the
overeating rush to the fields or across to
the
jet of paan
j
seeing a wall, with a lota, slumping
in to spit out a
floor flat son both
railway tracks jumping queues, his teenaged wrapper
why would
front of the
TV, potato chip
catch public
transport- to throw his who strid
jostling to the Guptas
a bin? Take

Hassling Habits die Hard.


some of the greatest in full family k

letter will be given a prize of


inspiring of genomics, a cinema theatre their
the words over a dozen, and s
thinkers in ry and strength of
neuroscien
ce, biochemistto pander onto the seats adu
ry psychology clambering the
why is it over, while
evolutiona question: popcorn all the darkn
the most puzzling to change? guffaw in
people constantly set of codes, train
so hard for to instill in
us the each his own
Parents try red right notions of
civility.
being well-manne were mis
virtues of Why else do you Is it possible that Unlikely,
days. ne gene?
from our early toilet-trained? What

`500. Address your letters by


all self-discipli National Acade
think were us to grow up and pee the American b
wall? What there may
then induces Science suggests
available publicpublic, ns of genes
and
on the first in that m
pick our teeth after meals, combinatio

(WE May II 2017). It is


makes us ntal factors ma
during and environme people to
slurp or belch abreast on the hard for some
walk in a group on grass in parks
or their habits.
tread control over North Dakota
have A study at
sidewalk, persons to
the other
not allow
sentence?
complete

said that old attitudes, E-mail to: letters@womansera.com


or by post to:
habits die hard. Because the seeds of
habits and attitudes are firmly laid AS YOU SAY
down in the deep realm of one's mind,
coming as they may with cause and E-3 Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-110055.
effect chain carried over from the past, Womansera.com
which holds the key to how one would
Name:
conduct in day-to-day life. And
Mobile:
invariably, the seeds are so firmly
E-mail:
grounded that it is impossible to uproot

146 Womans Era July (First) 2017