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Editorial: Millenials are purging

Ryerson hates tall people page 3
page 9

E
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2017 eyersonian.ca

Volume 51

yersonian
Issue 5

As p arod i ed by T h e E yeopen er

Event occurred on campus
It really happened. Actually. For real.
NANNIE NARCONE direct approach: a mundane head-
EYERSONIAN line and briefly glossing over any
actual news.
The Eyersonian recently obtained “There’s not enough imagination
a press release indicating that an with kids these days,” said Ryerson
event occurred on June 2016, in journalism department head Marty
the Rogers Communications Cen- Stevenson. “The goal here is to create
tre (RCC). a generation that really knows how
The event, held by the Ryerson to think for themselves.”
journalism department, in partner- According to the press release
ship with the Digital Media Zone and a reporter from The Eyersonian
(DMZ) was called How to Be a Busi- who was present at the time, eager
ness Journalist, where panelists cov- Ryerson journalism students gath-
ered topics like innovative journal- ered in the Venn last year to partic-
ism, how to present yourself as an ipate in various generic games per-
innovative brand, and the emerging taining to innovative journalism.
importance of hyperlinks in a story. The games included PR-PR-jour-
“It’s all about the clicks,” said nalist, a similar game to duck-duck-
Joseph Toeseph, a print journal- goose, but with public relations fig-
ist. “I like to add as many links ures and journalists. The group also
on a page as possible—otherwise engaged in a game of “find the hyper-
how will people find the rest of the link in a haystack”—a game where
story online?” students dive face first into a pile
Toeseph also made an “inter- of hay, situated in the middle of the
net correspondent over quality Venn, whilst blindfolded, and find
content” joke and admitted that if the print pages with hyperlinks
it really came down to it, he would on them.
advise making every word a hyper- The group gathered in the empty
link and sacrificing real content for room, minus the hay, with a bunch
“the greater good.” of chairs and a bunch of tables.
Representatives from stu- The room was similar to how
dent-based university publications the Venn looks now, only dif-
chimed in, adding that although ferent because this was 2016
statistically, polls have determined and things change in a year.
that readers prefer interesting
and attention-grabbing headlines, EYERSONIAN FILE PHOTO | EYERSONIAN
that they even more prefer to use a Please see NEWS page 4

What’s online Listen Watch
Morning update Morning Update
we’ve got a killer introduction weekdays at 10 a.m.
Go to eyersonian.ca to see video
behind-the-scenes of a typical
day in our newsroom And subscribe to the podcast
Eyersonian This Week
Eyersonian This Week Fridays at 2 p.m.
on iTunes and Google Play Available on Facebook Live, eyersonian.ca.
and on screens throughout the RCC
2 Wednesday, October 4, 2017 E yersonian

Rotating craft
beers at the Ram
Come see what we’re pouring

$6
20oz
Pints

All Day,
Every Day
Amsterdam
CollingWood Brewery
Beau’s
Great Lakes Brewery
Spearhead Brewery
Henderson Brewing
And More to come

RYERSONSTUDENTCENTRE.CA /RamInTheRye @RamInTheRye @RamInTheRye
E yersonian Voluntourism
changes lives
page 11
3

News Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Millenials are purging
Our generation bad for racist statue industry, Shi Nou reports
Inaudible screams were all that ‘Being racist ain’t lit’. And for what?
could be heard outside Kerr Hall ‘Political correctness,’” said Suprema
as the Egerton Ryerson statue was Cistman, the CEO of The Past is
decapitated on Monday. While a Blast.
it was not the first time a statue BabyBoominRacists’ study also
honouring a racist met its analyzed the demographics of
untimely demise at the hands of people who support or do not
angered youth, it was certainly a support the presence of racist
first for Ryerson University. statues across the country.
In July, a beheaded Donald Their study found that for peo-
Drumpf statue in Dallas, Texas left ple between the ages 0-25, 70 per
locals similarly shocked. In August, cent were against the presence of
a statue of John C. Calhoun, a strong racist statues in Canada, 20 per cent
defender of slavery in America, abstained due to “hipster causes” and
was also beheaded in Charleston, 10 per cent of people claiming to be
South Carolina. “born in the wrong century” sup-
And with the likes of Rob- ported the presence of racist statues PREMILA D’SA | EYERSONIAN
ert E. Lee, Edward Cornwal- in Canada.
lis and Roger B. Taney down for “Millennials are really making
the count, one thing is certain: a trend of edginess nowadays. It’s

Continuing
it’s been a very bad, bad year for a shame that they hate racist stat-
ues. Just imagine Wolfgang Droege–
O ve r 1 5 0
racist statues.
Who’s to blame for the increas- white supremacist, neo-Nazi, courses in
ingly prevalent deaths of history’s
most successful racists? A recent
convicted drug dealer and found-
ing leader of the Heritage Front–in Studies at 3D Modelling

OCAD
study conducted by for-profit organi- front of Parliament Hill. He would Animation
zation BabyBoominRacists has found just look so good in white marble,” C r e a t i ve B u s i n e s s

UNIVERSITY
that the sales of companies who make BabyBoominRacist’s commu-
D ra w i n g a n d P a i n t i n g
racist statues are plummeting now nity outreach coordinator, Gracist
more than ever. Their reasoning? Shaymus said, licking his lips. F i b r e a n d Fa s h i o n
Millennials. On the other hand, they found Film and Video
The study also found that rac- that 95 per cent of people between
G ra p h i c D e s i g n
ist statue sales in Canada have the ages 26-100 supported racist
decreased by a whopping 11,000 statues, 2 per cent abstained and 3 per Industrial Design
per cent since the 11th century. cent who were giggling about how the I n t e ra c t i ve M e d i a
As a result, companies like The ‘80s were a simpler time, circled ‘do
M a r ke t i n g
Past is a Blast, who designed and not support’ for the presence of racist
manufactured the Egerton Ryerson statues in Canada in the survey. P h o t o g ra p h y
statue, have since had to let go of some In an interview, Cistman told the Printmaking and Sculpture
of their more ‘deplorable’ employees Eyersonian that The Past is a Blast
Theory in Art and Design
and schedule equity training has been struggling to make ends
sessions for their remaining meet, and millennials openly sham- UI and UX Design
employees. The company’s two ing the company on social media isn’t Visual Analytics
remaining employees went through helping.
We a ra b l e M e d i a
one equity training session in Last week, a Ryerson student
August, which the CEO of the com- made a Facebook page titled “No Rac- We b D e s i g n
pany has called “abominable.” ist Statues In Our City!”, calling the Courses for Seniors
“Those dang millenials, always company “bogus, absurd and totally
a n d Yo u t h
ruining everything. It really frea- backwards.”
kin’ sucks. My ancestors have “It’s just sad that these millenni-
been selling racist statues since als are trying to spread their anti- E x p l o r e Yo u r C r e a t i ve P o t e n t i a l
the year 1134, when they first racist dogma. The alt-right need to
designed and manufactured the make money too, you know.” said A r t . D e s i g n . N ew M e d i a CONTINUING
STUDIES

Rudolph Zitler statue. Now, we see Cistman, who openly admited that Eve n i n g s . We e ke n d s . O n l i n e
hooligans running around spray sometimes, racists have feelings too.
painting the beautiful works of C o u r s e i n f o a n d r e g i s t r a t i o n : o c a d u . c a /c o n t i n u i n g s t u d i e s
art that my ancestors created,
writing crazy mazy horse shit like sk8ergurl4321@hotmail.com
Ryerson_Sept2016_QuarterPage.indd 1 8/23/17 3:27 PM
4 News Wednesday, October 4, 2017 E yersonian
EVENT cont’d... board games,” said Fadam. “I’m not “The panel was a year ago,” he
Toeseph kicked off the event sure what they had to with innova- said. “I’m not sure why you’re ask-
with a PowerPoint of hyperlinks, tive journalism—I can’t remember, ing me these questions now.”
and a question for the room—“Is but bridge and bocce are my new Since his resignation just four
Etobicoke considered the down- favourite games.” days following the panel, Toeseph
town core?” he asked, with genu- The event wrapped up with a found work in a PR firm called
ine curiosity. talk led by Toeseph, who stressed Timeliness, a job he admits he loves.
Genny Fadam, a third-year jour- the importance of building positive The second annual How to Be
nalism student at the time, now in relationships in journalism, adding a Journalist panel happened three
her fourth year—said the event was that rivaling publications should be months ago in the Venn, according
life changing, and that the informa- kind to one another. to a press release obtained over the
tion she retained that day has still The Eyersonian spoke to Toeseph summer.
stuck with her one year later. a year later, who has since resigned More to come.
“My favourite part was playing from his job as a print journalist. angelrockpunkrock@hotmail.com

ALANNA RIZZA, SARAH KRICHEL | EYERSONIAN

RSU full of
great people
Model citizens all around
PENELOPE LATTE how the minutes are immediately
EYERSONIAN uploaded to their website.
“My favourite part about RSU
The Ryerson Students’ Union’s meetings is how the board follows
(RSU) approval rating has skyrock- Robert’s Rules and their bylaws
eted over the past two years after a perfectly,” said engineering stu-
drastic decrease in corruption, dou- dent Satthew Mith. “I also noticed
ble-crossing and throwing people that no one has been meeting in
under the bus. the sketchy alleyway behind
According to an Ipsos poll, the the Student Campus Centre in a
ATTENTION ALL FULL-TIME STUDENTS RSU is currently at a 90 per cent
approval rating—the highest it’s ever
while.”
Even Ryerson president
Time is running out! been. The survey also noted that the
union was doing exceptionally well
Mohamed Lachemi commented
on how he is surprised that the

ALL STUDENTS MUST
with transparency, allocating funds university hasn’t received any neg-
to in-need departments and allow- ative media attention in months
ing marginalized people on the due to RSU activities.

OPT-OUT ONLINE
board to speak at meetings. “I haven’t had to meet with any
“Student politics in the past student leaders to give them warn-
two years has been pretty chill. ings—ahh erm, wait—the University
There hasn’t been any drama or is entirely separate from the student
Did you opt out last year in 2016-17? No worries... tension and everybody loves each union. I have no further comment. I
You’re automatically opted out - no need to apply every year for the refund of this fee other,” said RSU general manager LIKE TO BUILD THINGS, I DON’T
Sid Naidu. LIKE TO DESTROY THINGS,”
The Ryerson Students’ Union Opted Out PREVIOUSLY “It almost reminds me of my time Lachemi said to The Eyersonian.
(RSU) provides you extended If you opted out of the RSU health and dental in student politics here at Ryerson— But some past RSU execu-
plan in the previous year (2016-17), you will
Health & Dental Insurance, but NOT receive a charge for the RSU health and just so much love.” tives aren’t surprised at the high
if you have comparable dental plan on your RAMSS account. Please The hundreds of Ryerson stu- approval rating.
coverage, OPT-OUT for a refund refer to information on "Changing Your Status" dents invested in student politics “My time in office was easy-
by October 6, 2017 @ 6pm. for any opt-in requirements at assumed things would get heated peasy. I trusted the board and those
rsuonline.ca/services.
because of the split slate on the outside of the board with my life,”
executive team (and because of said last year’s president and cur-
OPT-OUT ONLINE last year’s controversial 6 Fest con-
cert, this year’s Colonialism 150
rent board member Obaid Ullah. “I
also love campus media.”
www.rsuonline.ca/services or
campaign and ongoing tension Last year’s vice-president stu-
www.mystudentplan.ca/rsu regarding the Canadian Federa- dent life & events Harman Singh
tion of Students—the national stu- thinks his transparency was a
DEADLINE to OPT-OUT, OPT-IN or ADD DEPENDENTS: dent advocacy group to which the
RSU pays $500,000 for an annual
key factor in the soaring approval
rating.

FRIDAY, OCT 6, 2017 - 6pm
membership). “Yeah, every time I said I’d finish
“We’re just one big happy fam- the 6 Fest report and give out con-
ily,” said RSU president Susanne cert refunds, people were just like
Nyaga. “Board meetings are a ‘ya Drake!’” said Singh in a private
There are ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS to this deadline breeze. We’re all on the same page.” Facebook message.
Students said they’re especially Only time will tell with how the
pleased with how the RSU regu- ratings will hold up for the rest of
Need Info? Contact Member Services Office, Student Centre Lobby
or email health@rsuonline.ca larly alerts students about their the school year.
monthly board meetings and 2kool4u@msn.ca
E yersonian Judging people
judging art
eyersonian.ca
5

Arts & Life Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Art gallery
Hooganza is correct: this is indeed gallery was running, was not in passing through campus at the time.
very old news, as the gallery closed attendance. “Yeah, I didn’t go here “Well, I can’t really say anything, of
on June 23, and will never return to then, so, like, I didn’t go,” he said. course. Sorry.” But the look in his eyes
Canada ever again. Like, ever. The Despite the strict rules around said it all. There was a telltale twinkle,
gallery was slated to run for two the gallery, The Eyersonian managed a spark of curiosity, hope, love, loss.

now closed
weeks, but it was seeing such high to obtain an interview with someone We really missed out on some-
attendance that it ran for an extra who saw Hooganza’s work. thing big, folks. But hey, maybe next
week. A record 900 guests were actu- “I was there, yes,” said Leeroy time!
ally able to attend — but you probably LeRoy, a man who happened to be dolphin-love300@hotmail.com
weren’t one of them.
Yeah, you missed it At the gallery’s closing, attend-
ees were asked to gather in a cir-
cle on the edge of Lake Devo, where
Hooganza burned all her work in a
heap to “free herself from the emo-
tions.” After performing a tantric
dance and screaming so loudly only
local dogs could hear her, she bowed
and fled the scene. Guests cried. Emo-
tions were high. Well, that’s our best
guess—we did not actually send a
reporter to the event.
CAMILA KUKULSKI | EYERSONIAN In addition to the arson, there was
a strict no-photography policy set
for the gallery, so there are no pho-
SKYLER ASH and watercolours. Her work was tos to be shown. Guests were also
EYERSONIAN inspired by her torrid love affair with required to sign a release saying they
an older man who ate lots of baguettes would not describe the work, nor dis-
Ryerson University fash- but didn’t do much else. cuss how it made them feel. You’ll lit-
ion alumni Yolanda Hooganza “I don’t really understand why erally never see or hear about this
was featured in a gallery in June we’re talking about this now,” said stuff, ever.
2017 at the Ryerson Image Cen- Hooganza, who graduated from Peter Irgen, a first-year civil engi-
tre (RIC) featuring work she’d done Rye High in 2004. “That was a few neering student, who had not yet
in Paris as well as original sketches months ago, and the gallery is closed.” begun attending Ryerson when the

Hi, I’m sort of vegan Thanksgiving Brunch with
SARAH KRICHEL
EYERSONIAN
slipping dairy products into vegan-
labelled menu items. Some target-
how much animal cruelty goes
into their pumpkin spiced lattes,
President Lachemi
ted vegans have even said they’ve and they don’t even know I proba-
Following a special investigation, found pork chops hanging out of bly used regular milk in mine too.”
The Eyersonian has confirmed that their chopped kale power salads. For sort-of-not-really-vegan-
Mohamed Lachemi, President and
a local Ryerson vegan is no longer Sichel is now just another clas- vegans like Srizzi and Sichel, Hi I’m Vice-Chancellor invites Ryerson students
actually 100 per cent vegan—add- sic case in the rise of the not-tech- Vegan gives them a place to show for a Thanksgiving brunch at the Ryerson
ing to the influx of the sort-of-vegan nically-vegan-vegan movement— off that at least they sort of tried,
Student Learning Centre, Amphitheatre
populace on campus. an ideology pertaining to the act unlike you.
“Hi, I’m vegan,” Karah Sichel, of acting vegan, without actu- The group started with two on Friday, October 6, 2017.
a third-year journalism student ally being vegan. The movement members back in January, and
first said when asked what pushed is present in a Ryerson-only Face- now has six members, only nine
her over the edge. “I like cheese book group called Hi I’m Vegan. months later.
too much. It was also just too much According to the self-proclaimed “Hi, I’m vegan,” Ennie Ernona Drop in for a free light brunch
effort to look at ingredients every activist group, their mandate was said to The Eyersonian in an inter- with President Mohamed Lachemi
time I wanted a bag of chips. I’m like, set to protect not-really-vegan- view. “After I went to Sushi Style from 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.
68 per cent vegan as of right now, vegans’ rights to pretend to be one day and realized there was
Please email presrsvp@ryerson.ca if we need to make any accessibility
though.” woke, while simultaneously sham- probably egg in the sweet potato or dietary accommodations to ensure your inclusion in this event.
Sichel, rumoured to be part of the ing vegetarians for not cutting out tempura, I purposely didn’t bother
notorious “‘90s Crew,” said that while animal byproducts. to ask the waiter, so that I could pro-
she had a good vegan run of eight “After a while, saying ‘no dairy, ceed to order it everyday. That was
months, it ended up being “just a lot.” though’ at Burrito Boyz whenever the moment I realized a group like
The “‘90s crew” is a taboo gang I got my classic sweet potato-veg- this was needed.”
that aims to infiltrate vegan circles gie soy mix just became too much,” Sichel said she hopes to even-
and has been rumoured to oper- fourth-year gender studies stu- tually include shrimp in her
ate within Gould Street’s sewage dent Berena Srizzi said. “But like, still-but-not-really-vegan-vegan
system and campus kitchens. Past I’ll still say I’m vegan to my friends. lifestyle.
charges against members include It inspires them when I talk about silly_sarah7@hotmail.com
E yers
6 Wednesday, October 4, 2017

“Features”

Trending: Pumpkin spice
and everything nice
Falling for fall at Ryerson University!

Fellow Ryersonians, the new season
is upon us! The air is crisp, the leaves
are changing and pumpkin spice is
back and better than ever! In honour
of this glorious time of year, we
thought we’d throw together a spicy
photo spread to celebrate the arrival of
autumn on campus.
What a time to be alive!!!
Wednesday, October 4, 2017 7

sonian “Features”

ALL PHOTOS BY CARL SOLIS | EYERSONIAN

More pictures online
on the Internet
eyersonian.ca
8 Sports Wednesday, October 4, 2017 E yersonian
Why Eggy the Ram is sick of your shit

PREMILA D’SA | EYERSONIAN

IZABELLA BALCERZAK ran down Church street, trampling
EYERSONIAN pedestrians, making rough, bleating
noises as he went.
On any team, unsung heroes This freakout comes with a his-
aren’t valued as much as they tory of disappointing appearances.
should be. At Ryerson University, Recently, Eggy was invited to the
our unsung hero comes in a differ- Invictus Flag bearing ceremony at
ent shape. the MAC. When he showed up, it
After decades of running, high- wasn’t quite what he expected.
fiving and shaking student’s dirty It was a photo-op with their mas-
hands, Eggy’s PR representative, cot. Eggy wasn’t pleased.
Peggy Waters, issued a statement “Sure, I’ll be in photos. I look
announcing his resignation. great on camera. But don’t ask me
“Our beloved Eggy,” she began, “Is to carry a mascot in my arms like
sick of your shit.” He’s still demand- we just got hitched,” said Eggy,
ing royalties from the Thriller Music who admits that sometimes, he just
video he made with the Ryerson wants to be held too.
Dance Pak. It’s garnered over 7,000 The photographer also asked the
views on YouTube since 2013. mascots to run in slow motion and
This statement came hours then high five each other. Their PR
after Eggy made a drastic exit dur- representatives kept yelling, “Look at
ing a basketball game versus the the elbow!” at every failed attempt.
University of Toronto. Their mas- Eggy’s Twitter account is full of
cot—a beaver named True Blue— his rants, with the most recent one
apparently stole the show with his being the change in the weather. He
updated uniform and new dance says his shorts are too short for the
moves. sudden drops in temperature.
Shortly after, Eggy was spotted While Ryerson Athletics mourns
running into Loblaws and steal- the loss of a timeless mascot, they
ing a jar of Nutella at their famous have announced that they will con-
and overly priced Nutella cafe. With tinue to look for another.
Nutella smeared along his face, he iza_bella_forever@hotmail.com

A critical equation
RÉAL NUMBERS accomplish one of those tasks, and
EYERSONIAN for privacy reasons, Joseph wouldn’t
identify the suspended mathlete.
Ryerson’s three-person arith- “My lips are sealed,” Joseph said,
metic team is struggling to deal applying a thick strip of blue and gold
with the aftermath of a significant duct tape over his lips before shut-
subtraction. ting his office door. No members of
On Tuesday, an investigation the team would spill the beans either.
by the mathematics department “I’m not telling,” said team captain
revealed one mathlete was ineligi- Josh Hingles.
ble to participate due to a failed beep “You guys are going to have to do
test, among other infractions. a little bit of digging,” added Ursula
“It is university policy for all mem- Levinson, standing in front of the
bers of academic teams to maintain a recently emptied locker of Wesley
level of recreational and abdominal Peckinpah, the team’s rookie sensa-
fortitude,” said athletic director Ivan tion from Wyoming.
Joseph, who serves as head coach of In an email sent Wednesday
the Quad-Ram-Tic Equations. afternoon, Joseph wrote the sus-
“At the end of the day, this was pended player will enrol in algo-
my miscalculation. The mathlete’s rhythmic gymnastics next semester
records just didn’t add up.” to satisfy his athletic requirements
Before mathletes can participate ahead of next season.
in inter-university play in Ontario, “This young man has been
they must officially register for at through a lot, but I absolutely will not
least one intramural or varsity team identify him,” Joseph added. “Wes-
and reach 80 reps in the dreaded ley’s a good kid, but I am not going to
beep test. tell you who he is. No way, no how.”
One of the three players failed to sportsboy95@hotmail.com
E yersonian Read more about
tall people online
eyersonian.ca
9

Editorial Wednesday, October 4, 2017

EDITORIAL up over the course of a four-
year degree.
TALL MCTALLINGTON There’s the brand new pants,
FORMER EYERSONIAN shredded by an outlying piece
of metal on a desk in a sec-
Amidst strikes and labour ond-year lecture. The bruises
disputes in the Toronto post- from rails, rocks and roofs—the
secondary sphere, there is one former placed too low to see,
problem that stands out on home the latter hung too low for easy
soil. It reaches past such feeble clearance.
foibles as evergrowing fears of Bus seats are often unbearable.
youth unemployment, or soaring With barely an inch of legroom
costs of education. on many of the TTC’s ridiculous,
Ryerson is simply not built to spatially efficient vehicles, even
accommodate Tall people. sitting is sometimes a struggle.
From dangerously low door- The fact is, the passive risks of SARAH KRICHEL | EYERSONIAN
frames to unexpected sharp being an unnaturally tall person
things below our line of sight, at this institution, like so many
the hallowed halls of Ryerson public places around the country, things. It helps us feel superior. be overlooked, or decide their pain.
University are a walking often outweigh the advantages The infrequency with which that it is not in fact, really a It’s time this school and this
landmine if your head sits above of being able to reach the top we are able to flaunt our height plight at all. administration look past such
six feet. shelves. while on school property is But until you’ve experienced passé problems as tuition hikes,
It’s not an overt kind of danger. And let’s talk about top shelves. simply criminal. the daily struggle of The Tall, until preparing us for the real world and
The fine men and women of this If you’re going to build a society Now, we understand that you you’ve had children grab your legs struggling to find campus space.
campus do not routinely injure that challenges the vertically think our complaints are petty. because they think you’re a tree, It’s time to consider the real trou-
themselves if they too struggle inclined at every turn, at least give That in a world full of racism and until you’ve been asked every time bles in this land—the troubles of
with Tall People Problems. But us some more outrageously high violence, the plight of the you leave the house whether you The Tall.
the little inconveniences add surfaces where we can put our unfortunately enormous should play basketball, you do not know @SeanLovesFries
10
E yersonian Campus Connection
Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Full story at eyersonian.ca
Campus Comments Events Oct. 3:

It’s October 3rd:
International Mean
One Of These Leaders Is Girls Holiday
Not Like The Others
12:01 a.m. - 11:59 p.m.
literally everywhere


Oct. 4:

Do The Jingle
Bell Rock Because
“I like to build things.” Yesterday Was
October 3rd
-Mohamed Lachemi 10:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.
55 Gould Street

Oct. 5:

Naruto Run Away
From All Your
Problems But Then
Come Back Because
“This seems like a good idea.”
Classes Start at 11
10:00 a.m. - 10:30 a.m.
SARAH KRICHEL | EYERSONIAN 55 Gould Street
-Every RSU

Rats back on campus executive when
proposing a bad Oct. 8:
idea
Ryerson University’s campus has seen an influx* (*big word for ‘more’) National
of rats on campus this year than ever before. In fact, there are 30 per Underwater Basket
cent more rats hanging around than last year. I know this because last Weaving Day
year I saw no rats and this year I saw 30 rats. So that’s a 30 per cent All day
increase. That’s how math works, right? Podium 250

Anyway, The Eyersonian has obtained exclusive video
interviews with the three rats who seem to spend most of their time “Let’s plant flowers.”
Dec. 25:
by the trash cans outside the Student Campus Centre. The video details
the rats’ daily lives over the course of three hours, because it was a lit- -Sheldon Levy


tle hot out that day and we didn’t feel like filming the rats anymore. Christmas Day
All day
Plus, one got really close to me and I screamed.
Most places
If you’d like to view the full video, you can type this link out online
at https://theeyersonian.com/rats-on-campus-one-touched-my-leg-and-i-
screamed-you-guys-it-was-really-scary-please-stop-laughing-!-rats-carry-
diseases-!-!-!_fAk3n3wZ

PetsInDanger
Ryerson Student Club Parody Manading Editors Premila D’sa Fun and Satire Contact Us
Emerald Bensadoun Camila Kukulski Emerald Bensadoun Since this paper isn’t real, you
- Attend
Skyler Ash probably don’t have much you
exciting social events, Online Media want to share about it. But in case
develop skills trans- Parody Writers Karoun Chahinian Carl Solis you do, you can always come visit
ferable into further Annie Arnone Alanna Rizza Malachi Rowswell The Eyeopener to hang out. If you
education / job Penelope Latte Lee Richardson think this was funny, you coud
searching, enhance Bo Jackman General Manager also write for the Fun and Satire
your resume, Izabella Balcerzak Features Liane McLarty section on the regular.
receive a Réal Numbers Skyler Ash
Certificate for Skyler Ash Design Director Ryerson University
community service Sarah Krichel Sports J.D. Mowat 55 Gould Street
hours... Bryan Meler Toronto, Ontario M5B 1E9
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Voices Wednesday, October 4, 2017

My life-changing trip
the rest of our vacation. While wait-
ing in line for the badminton court, I
learned that patience is everything.
I had to spend the day by the pool,
crafting the perfect Facebook post

How I found myself through voluntourism about how much work I’d done and
how much it humbled me; It’s going
to get so many likes.
BO JACKMAN the last Third World country that volunteer veteran on my trip. with putting untrained teenagers But when I got home, I couldn’t
EYERSONIAN we saw in a commercial. The work “There’s nothing that helps a person in charge of construction instead of bear to be around my classmates.
that we did for the children there— find who they really are more than paying trained local professionals. As I saw them helping the elderly
The first house was the hardest especially that all-inclusive vacation being around people born in a dif- That was our first, and last, day in cross the street and donating their
to build. Standing with the rest of my resort we went to afterwards—really ferent socioeconomic class, and then the village. I said goodbye to all the kidneys to those in need, I felt pity
friends, we looked down at this hole helped me find myself as a person. immediately leaving.” Whitman is children, and told them I hoped they for them. They never volunteered.
in the ground. “This will be the foun- For years, students have been planning her fourth mission once liked the 10 per cent of a library we During the first few days
dation for what you will build,” our heading over to Third World coun- her parents pawn off their wedding made for them. after returning from my vol-
guide, Thomas, told us as he directed tries for some good old-fashioned rings to pay the travel costs. “Don’t worry about them, another untourism trip, I experienced a
us towards the concrete. We pulled volunteering. According to the pop- Back at the site, a grueling 45 min- group of midwestern teenagers are larger-than-life feeling of hav-
up our sleeves and got to work. ular voluntourism website You’re a utes of hard labour went by before our coming in 20 minutes to pick up ing contributed more than those
Weeks before, a group of my wok- Good Person, 10,000 students trav- supervisor stopped us for a humble where you left off,” Thomas said. around me because I made a
est peers and I were watching the eled across the world to participate in lunch of beet burgers and kettle chips. And just like that, we were back on difference on a global scale.
news when we discovered that the humanitarian projects in 2017 alone. Behind us, our guide and the rest our stretch Hummer. I can’t shake the great feeling of
world has some serious problems. Volunteers can deliver clean water, of the locals took our lunch break as I’d like to say that I learned a lot finally having found myself. So my
We all came together, guilted our dig outhouses and pull their friends an opportunity to fix our crumbling about myself during that day, but I advice to all those who haven’t tried
parents into giving us $3,000 each, out when they dig too deep. foundation as well as the crooked really found myself during the week volunteering: do it. The buffets
made a bunch of T-shirts that read “It’s what I was born to do,” said walls we put up for this library. I we spent at the local all-you-can-eat, are delicious.
“Let’s save the planet!” and set out to Becky Whitman, a 21-year-old wonder if it had something to do all-inclusive resort we stayed at for doobsjr@hotmail.com

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$8.99
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E yersonian Wednesday, October 4, 2017 12

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