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Even though I feel as if all hope is lost for our relationship, I deeply love and accept

Even though I feel as if theres no solution to our relationship problems, I deeply love
and accept myself
Even though I am so angry and frustrated with [name your partner] I deeply love and
accept myself
Then, move through the tapping points.
Eyebrow: This relationship is so stressful
Side of Eye: I dont know what to do
Under Eye: I feel like I have nothing left in me
Under Nose: It never ends!
Chin Point: I love [name your partner] so much
Collar Bone: But I cant seem to find an answer to our problems
Under Arm: Im so frustrated
Top of Head: Im so angry!
Take a deep breath, and return to your eyebrow point.
Eyebrow: My heart is breaking
Side of Eye: I dont know how to make this work
Under Eye: I resent [name your partner] so much
Under Nose: They just dont understand!
Chin Point: I dont know how to fix this
Collar Bone: It feels like its finally the end
Under Arm: I feel like I am losing [name your partner]
Top of Head: I just dont know what to do
Check in and see if youve calmed down any. If you havent, continue with the tapping routine
above, speaking about any other difficult feelings that come up and tapping through them.
Once those feelings have subsided, begin again at the eyebrow point.
Eyebrow: I know that we can find an answer
Side of Eye: I know we can finally figure this out
Under Eye: Who am I kidding? This is hopeless!
Under Nose: No its not, but I need to be patient
Chin Point: I allow myself the space to find the way
Collar Bone: I allow [name your partner] the space to find the way
Under Arm: Our love is bigger than our anger
Top of Head: Our love is stronger than our sadness
Eyebrow: Our love is deeper than our fear
Side of Eye: Our love is more important than whatever happened in the past
Under Eye: I choose to let love lead us to the answers
Under Nose: I dont need to let anger or sadness lead the way when difficult things arise
Chin Point: If theres one thing that Im sure of
Collar Bone: Its that we both want to find a solution
Under Arm: And we both care for each other deeply
Top of Head: Our love can lead us to the answer
How do you feel?
One of the biggest and most common problems we face when we reach a stalemate with our
partner is that we tend to react to our disagreement with anger, sadness or fear.
When this happens, our immediate response is to try to fix whats making us sad or angry so that
we can find our way back to the love we share. Thats where the winding, endless arguments
The thing is, when we do this were dealing with our problem the worst way possible!
The key is to let your love lead the way, to let your love address whats making you angry or
causing you to be afraid. Its only with your love that you can find the answers that will bring your
heart peace.

When working on "relationship issues" such as divorce, family fights, disagreements, arguments, break
ups, long standing feuds etc. I have found that some of the really deep issues are too painful for the
person to deal with ... or they become long term issues from silly arguments or careless words.

I discovered that when using a photograph of the person to which the emotional issue is connected and
then tapping on the photograph, that there appears to be a massive shift that sometimes occurs very

Here are a couple of examples of this Photo Technique. I discovered this totally by chance, following an
argument with my partner.

I started tapping as I normally would ....

"Even though I think I may hate you (my partner) at this moment and that is painful, I really do love you ...
and I completely love and accept myself and accept you".

Whilst tapping, I saw a photograph of us both sitting on camels which was a very happy and funny scene.

I picked the photograph up and sat with it on my knee.

I then tapped on my partner physically on the photograph.

I started on the PR point first on myself with the set up statement, three times

"Even though we have had this argument and I feel as if I hate you, I know I love you and I deeply and
completely love and accept myself."

I then moved to the photograph and tapped around the points physically on the photo stating "this hate

I then worked on the same photograph but this time on myself, tapping on the photo with phrases such as
"emanating love to you" (emanating love to my partner) which I observed watching you on your serious
illness course last year Gary ... about emanating love.
I then tapped on each of us individually on the photograph stating "emanating love to each other".

I did this several times really quickly and had massive releases.

I know relief would be given by applying EFT to yourself. However I think the visual tapping action of
looking at the person on the photograph and tapping on it seemed very powerful and worked very quickly.
Interestingly, as I finished tapping on the photograph, my partner rang and apologised; coincidence
possibly but fascinating...

I wondered if anyone else has tried this?

Many ex pat clients in Spain have loved ones in UK and bring their problems with them, thinking they will
have left them behind and all will be well here. However, many of them actually have more time on their
hands and more time to think.

The photograph method seems to help with relationship issues because they may not have seen the
person for some time whether it be family or friend that they have an issue with. Sometimes they are
going back to UK and have to face the problem again ... thinking they may have escaped it.

So since stumbling across this method by accident,I have introduced it with certain clients and will be
introducing it more because of the very quick results and "shifts" when they are actually "seeing" the
photograph of the person.

I had a client recently with family problems that were starting to make her feel unwell ... anxiety,
palpations. She was constantly thinking about the family problems.

She had several arguments with her brother which she felt was his fault and they had not been speaking
for some time. She felt he had "let her down" when she needed him most, during the recent loss of her

She had talked to her mum about this and seemed to have very little support or interest from her mum.

The common theme seemed to be "loss".

I asked her to bring a photo of her mum and brother.

The client brought a photo of her brother and mum smiling away together on a happy family occasion.

We started on the PR point and the set up was quite in depth...

"Even though I seem to have this "loss problem", I lost my husband when he passed over, I lost my
brother and he won't talk to me, I feel a loss of support from my mum ... I feel a terrible loss, I feel lonely
but through all this I deeply and completely love and accept myself".

I asked her to tap on the photograph of her brother first stating "this loss".

I asked her to say anything that came into her head whilst she was tapping on the photo.

She tapped several times on "this loss" and changed it herself to "I have lost you, like I lost my husband",
"I feel lonely because i have lost you".

Her intensity came down to 5.

She started sobbing very heavily and I asked her to just sit and I tapped on her until she stopped crying
and settled.

She felt OK to continue and we moved on to her mum in the photograph with "no support".

She did this several times and phrases came up such as "I have never had much support from you all my

Again, she started sobbing and I took over and tapped on her until the tears subsided.

I then continued tapping around her points continuously on phrases she had used and also on

At the end of a very lenghty session, her intensity level was down to "0".

I brought the photo back and asked her how she felt about them both ... she started crying. On further
probing, the photo was taken on a family occasion that she could not attend and she felt "the loss" again
of being left out. Intensity level of 4. We tapped on this family occasion of "being left out." She hated th
photo so much, she wanted to burn it.
She eventually went to "0" again and was very comfortable looking at the photo.

She commented that "they had their lives to lead and she had to get on with her own life." She said she
felt very calm and could look at the photo of them both in a "kinder light" and without anguish or remorse.

We ended with a lengthy tapping session, working on "Even though I have had so much loss in my life, I
am left with a void that I need to fill with love. If I take this "loss" feeling away I have another loss to deal
with ... what will replace it? This loss has taken up a great deal of my time, thoughts and efforts and is
making me feel ill ... I choose to fill it with love, I choose to fill this loss feeling with love .... love for my
brother ... my mother .... but most of all love for me."

I spoke to her a week later and she was delighted. She had actually phoned her brother up (they had not
spoken for six months) and asked if she could visit him when she came over to UK and he said he would
like that and she was welcome to stay with him.

I teach all my clients EFT and she also commented that she had used the photo technique with her son.
They had a silly disagreement and her son had stormed off out of the house without speaking. She felt
"loss" again. She took a photo frame from the window and tapped on a photograph of him about how she
felt using"silly argument" and within minutes felt great, just like a massive weight had lifted.

She commented that she would have worried all day and been upset but after tapping on the photo, got
on with her day as normal.

I suggest to clients to work through their Personal Peace Procedure by getting a really nice book that they
keep as their private journal. Then hunt through family photos and choose some to place in their journal.
Placing photos in of themselves at different stages and ages, and also of family, friends, scenes that bring
up memories. Then tap on the photo or particular painful memory/incident as it comes up. I explain this is
also a great way for them to review their feelings/emotions when looking through their journal and
photographs ... if something comes up again or is still painful, try tapping again.

Some clients feel that EFT doesn't seem to work as well when they try it themselves so I think this is just
another "tool" from the EFT box to try out when appropriate.

Present Tense Affirmations

I have a strong relationship with my spouse

We are open and sharing with each other

We understand each other

I pay attention to my spouses needs

We work things out by calmly talking

Both of us have a say in making decisions

We sustain a strong, healthy marriage

I am intent on nurturing our feelings for each other

I am confident in our relationship

Our feelings for each other are powerful

Future Tense Affirmations

Our marriage will prosper

I will focus on the positive things in our marriage

I will stop letting things get in the way of my feelings

I will listen when my spouse has something to stay

I will work things out with my spouse on a mature, adult level

I will focus on spending the rest of my life with my spouse

My partner and I will be together forever

I will always love my spouse

Our marriage will make us happier people

I will take care of our relationship

Natural Affirmations

I always see beauty in my spouse

We simply love each other

We are destined to be together

Our relationship is meant to be long term

I am naturally aware of my spouses feelings

I am happy with our relationship

We love each other just the way we are

I am confident in our feelings for each other

Our relationship is naturally healthy and happy

I simply want us to be together forever

Other affirmations you might be interested in: Healthy Relationship, Happy Relationship, Lasting
Relationship, Commitment Phobia, Relationship Insecurity.

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has for you.

1. I am enjoying the things in my marriage that I already have and make me happy.
2. I appreciate my spouse for all he/she does for our marriage.
3. My spouse and I decide daily to love each other.
4. I am daily making my relationship with my spouse stronger.
5. I choose to listen to my spouse before speaking out of anger.
6. I accept the opportunity to apologize first.
7. I am both loyal and devoted to my spouse.
8. I support my spouse in his/her decisions.
9. Together we have great strengths.
10. We live a life full of gratefulness.
11. Each day is an opportunity to learn more about my spouse.
12. I respect the person my spouse is, rather than who I want him/her to be.
13. I choose to focus on the positive every day.
14. My marriage is built on love, respect, and trust.
15. We freely accept each others differences without judgement.
16. I love my spouse unconditionally.
17. There are open lines of communication every day.
18. I give my spouse space to become him/her self within the confines of our marriage.
19. We laugh together on a regular basis.
20. Our marriage is growing stronger every day.
21. I understand that we will have bad days, but we get up and carry on together.
22. I must forgive my spouse daily.
23. I am irresistible to my spouse and will not deny him when possible.
24. I will ask myself regularly, How can I show him/her my love more?
25. Together there is nothing we cannot face or triumph over.
26. Communication must be open and honest.
27. My spouse is and will always be my best friend.
28. I must control my tongue when angry and fight fair if we should disagree.
29. I yearn to kiss my spouse daily morning and night.
30. I am passionate in my love for my spouse.
31. My marriage is a match made in heaven.
32. I believe in my marriage.
33. I accept that my spouse and I are different and respect those differences.
34. I will be patient and kind. I will not envy, or boast, or be proud. I will not dishonor others, or
be self-seeking, or easily angered, nor will I keep a record of wrongs. I will not delight in
evil but I will rejoice in the truth. I will always protect, always trust, always hope, always
persevere. I know love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

What are affirmations you use in your

marriage? In your personal life?