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The conclusion of this argument, Clearly, our health will continue to decline as long as we persist in our

technological advances, rests weakly on three primary assumptions. [THESIS STATEMENT & TOPICS
CONCLUSION] First, it assumes that advances in medicine will not counteract the detrimental effects of a lack
of exercise. [REASON 1] Second, it requires the tacit belief that the effect of a proper diet on health is
insignificant in comparison to the effects of a sedentary lifestyle. [REASON 2] Finall y, it presumes that
whatever holds true for the past and present will also hold true for the future. [REASON 3]

The argument assumes that the positive effects of regular exercise on health override any positive effects
resulting from advances in medicine. [TOPIC SENTENCE FOR REASON 1] As society becomes increasingly high
tech, we might plausibly argue that medicine will similarly develop and advance. Nonetheless, the validity of
the authors argument depends on the idea that medicine will not advance as ra pidly as technology or, at the
very least, on the idea that any advance in medicine will have a relatively insignificant effect on health,
compared to the effects of regular exercise. But what might happen if medicine progresses such that health
care can counteract the effects of a sedentary lifestyle? Might we imagine a pill or procedure that could easily
and effectively combat heart disease, diabetes, and other diseases linked to lack of exercise? If this occurs,
whether our lives become more sedentary as a result of technology will not matter when it comes to our health,
because medicine will offset the negative effects of a lack of exercise. [FIVE SENTENCES THAT DEVELOP &
ANALYZE REASON 1]

Similarly, the arguments conclusion depends on the assumption t hat improvements in diet will not prevent or
stave off the decline in wellness that results from working at a high -tech job. [TOPIC SENTENCE FOR REASON
2] Whether its reasonable to expect our diets to improve as technology advances is irrelevant to this a rgument;
the fact remains that the author assumes that diet has little to no impact on the general well -being of a person
who gets no exercise. Yet a healthy diet could negate the effects of a sedentary lifestyle. In fact, if a good diet
could be shown to improve ones health, then it would be unreasonable to conclude that a sedentary lifestyle
automatically leads to poor health and increased disease in everyone. There would be no easy way to show
such a correlation between exercise and health. Indeed, a se dentary lifestyle coupled with a good diet might
lead to good health. [FIVE SENTENCES THAT DEVELOP & ANALYZE REASON 2]

The most significant assumption made by the author to arrive at the conclusion is that the past and present
are reliable indicators of the future. [TOPIC SENTENCE FOR REASON 3] Specifically, the author assumes that
since our overall health has declined as technology has improved, this pattern will continue. Such an
assumption is unwarranted; many trends reverse direction entirely or eventu ally cease. For example, the rapid
rise and success of high-tech companies in the late 90s eventually came to a screeching halt, almost without
warning. If the trend toward technological advancements and the sedentary lifestyles with which they are
associated came to a similar halt, it would be illogical to conclude that our health would also continue to
decline. [FOUR SENTENCES THAT DEVELOP & ANALYZE REASON 3]

In sum, this argument relies heavily on its assumptions, perhaps too heavily. Denying any one o f these
assumptions results in a weakened or, in some cases, invalid conclusion. Nevertheless, the conclusion that our
health is in jeopardy may in fact be true, despite its not being proven with the premises given and assumptions
made by the author. [RECAP] To strengthen the argument, the author would need to not only address these
three assumptions but also to more firmly establish a link between deteriorating health and technological
advances. In the words of Hippocrates, A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human
blessings. An argument conclusively linking rising technology to failing health would be a strong argument
indeed. [EXPANDS POSITION]
Although agreements have value, the juxtaposition of different ideas in a conflict ine vitably leads to more
significant progress and evolution. [THESIS] What scientific progress would we have, for example, if it
werent for intellectual debate? None intellectual debate leads to scientific progress. [EXAMPLE 1] The
reformation of outdated political ideas and concepts is also marked by struggle. [EXAMPLE 2] Finally, in
the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. This quotation captures the
sentiment that personal growth arises from conflict. [EXAMPLE 3]

First, historically, scientific progress has been inspired by conflicts of ideas. [TOPIC SENTENCE FOR
EXAMPLE 1] In the sixteenth century, for example, a great debate arose because Copernicus vehemently
challenged the notion that the earth is the center of the so lar system. Although he paid a price both socially
and politically for this remonstration, Copernicus disabused a long -held belief, much to the chagrin of the
Catholic Church and other astronomers of his day. Because of this conflict, humankind eventually gained a
new understanding of astronomy. [THREE SENTENCES THAT DEVELOP & SUPPORT EXAMPLE 1]

Second, sociohistorical evolution rarely comes about without turmoil and unrest. [TOPIC SENTENCE FOR
EXAMPLE 2] For example, prior to the 1860s in the United State s, it was legally acceptable to enslave other
human beings and to view them as property with few rights. This view led several states to secede from
the Union, which, in turn, led to the Civil War, a violent conflict that threatened to destroy the nation . After
the war, though, slavery was abolished, and the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution essentially
made discrimination on the basis of race illegal. As a result, the United States grew stronger as a nation.
To advance takes constant questioning o f the status quo. [FIVE SENTENCES THAT DEVELOP & SUPPORT
EXAMPLE 2]

Third, conflict can lead to personal growth. [TOPIC SENTENCE FOR EXAMPLE 3] Adversity helps make us
stronger. People who have not known some type of conflict or difficulty tend to be imma ture and spoiled.
Americans so believe this sentiment about adversity that they have institutionalized it as an oft -repeated
saying: If at first you dont succeed, try, try again. This saying emphasizes the way overcoming difficulty
helps us grow as individuals: Each time we fail, we must pick ourselves up and try again. We shouldnt
expect life to be easy. Sometimes the value of struggle is in the struggle, meaning that such conflicts,
whether internal or external, give us perspective and insight. [SIX SEN TENCES THAT DEVELOP & SUPPORT
EXAMPLE 3]

Clearly, conflict has been responsible for several upward surges of humankind in diverse respects. In the
areas of science, history, and individual character, progress requires struggle. [RECAPS THESIS] Rather
than avoiding conflict at all costs, we should accept conflict as a necessary and beneficialpart of the
human condition, whether the conflicts arise among scholars or states. [EXPANDS THE POSITION] Conflict
permits true transformation and growth.