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Animatic Draft

FB 135
“Fanboy A’hoy!”
by Scott Kreamer
06/10/09

DISTRIBUTION:

Michael Caine, Russell Calabrese, Brian Casentini, Megan Casey, Shaun Cashman, Brandon Hoang,
Dean Hoff, Eric Homan, Kevin Kolde, Jason Meier, MacGregor Middleton, Roland Poindexter, Eric
Robles, Jim Schumann, Fred Seibert, Brian Sheesley, Steve Tompkins, Blanca Uribe

___________________________________________________________________________________________
Copyright 2009, MTV Networks, a division of Viacom Inc. All Rights Reserved.
This script is the property of MTV Networks and may not be copied or distributed without the express written permission of
MTV Networks. This copy of the script remains the property of MTV Networks. It may not be sold or transferred and it must
be returned to MTV Networks promptly upon demand. THE WRITING CREDITS MAY NOT BE FINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE USED
FOR PUBLICATION OR ADVERTISING PURPOSES WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING WITH THE MTV NETWORKS' BUSINESS AND LEGAL
AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT.
Fanboy and Chum Chum
“Fanboy A’hoy!”
FB135

Cast List

Fanboy, Fanboy Alarm Clock...............................................................David Hornsby
Chum Chum, Nancy Pancy ................................................................. Nika Futterman
Kyle........................................................................................................Jamie Kennedy
Oz.............................................................................................................Josh Duhamel
Mr. Mufflin, Dollar-nator, Scrivener Elf.................................................... Jeff Bennett
Yo.................................................................................................................... Dyana Liu
Lupe, Francine, Lunch Lady Cram, Cher ................................................... Candi Milo
Chris Chuggy...........................................................................................................TBD

LOGLINE

Fanboy and Chum Chum are playing pirates when they decide to bury all their
“treasured” possessions. But when the boys try to retrieve their treasure chest,
they realize they buried the map, too! Soon, the other kids find out about the
buried booty and offer to help for a share of the loot. But they don’t realize that
Fanboy’s “treasure” is typically someone else’s trash.
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 1.

EXT. FANLAIR ROOF - DAY

CLOSE ON FANBOY: He wears a PIRATE CAPTAIN HAT and EYE
PATCH. Instead of a parrot, he has A SEAGULL.

1 FANBOY
(pirate voice)
Arrr! You feel that, Polly? The *
wind be up. We have our heading.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL that the Fanlair roof has been
transformed into a PIRATE SHIP. Fanboy stands at the WHEEL
on the bridge. We see he has a PEG LEG (his real lower leg
is tied to his thigh).

2 FANBOY (CONT’D)
(calling out)
First mate Chum Bucket! Look
alive! It’s time to set sail!

Up in the CROW’S NEST, Chum Chum scans the horizon with a
SPYGLASS.

3 CHUM CHUM
Aye aye, Cap’n Fanbeard!

4 FANBOY
Hoist the main sheet!

Chum Chum swings down on a ROPE simultaneously raising the
MAIN SAIL, which is literally a MAN-ARCTICA BED SHEET.

5 FANBOY (CONT’D)
Now raise the fitted sheet!

From the deck, Chum Chum hoists a line, which raises another
SHEET - this one with the MATTRESS still in it. Chum Chum
rushes to attention in front of his captain. Fanboy paces in
front of his one man crew. <STEP/CLOMP>. <STEP/CLOMP>.

6 FANBOY (CONT’D)
First mate Chum Bucket, report!
How are the bilges?

7 CHUM CHUM
Scuppered!

8 FANBOY
Hatches?

9 CHUM CHUM
Battened!

10 FANBOY
The decks?
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 2.

11 CHUM CHUM
Swabbed. Main and poop!

12 FANBOY
<deep breath, then> And... I’m out.
I got nothing.

13 CHUM CHUM
I guess we’ve done all the piratey
things there is.

14 FANBOY
Arrr.

15 CHUM CHUM
No, we’ve said “arrr.”

16 FANBOY
Then you know what that means...

17 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM
Time to find buried treasure!

INT. FANLAIR

The boys burst in.

18 FANBOY
Now what can we use for a treasure
chest? Ah!

As Chum Chum watches in confusion, Fanboy runs over and lifts
a TRAP DOOR in the floor, then pulls out a PIRATE TREASURE
CHEST! He opens it up and GOLD DOUBLOONS spill out!

19 FANBOY (CONT’D)
Perfect! We’ll fill this treasure
chest with our most valuable stuff.
Then we’ll go bury it and dig it up
later! Just like real pirates!

20 CHUM CHUM
Yay! I mean, arrr!

21 FANBOY
Arrr, indeed, matey! We’ll just
dump out these dusty old coins...

We see the chest is full of GOLD COINS.

22 CHUM CHUM
They don’t fit in the gum machine
anyway.
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 3.

23 FANBOY
(dumping box)
Now we can put in some real
treasure, like this!

Fanboy holds up a PLASTIC ACTION FIGURE.

24 CHUM CHUM
Our very first action figure!
(snatching it from Fanboy)
A limited edition Man-Arctica with
Kung Fu tongue grip!

Chum Chum presses a BUTTON and the action figure’s TONGUE
shoots out and sticks to his EYE. The figure dangles.

25 CHUM CHUM (CONT’D)
Ha! How did they not make more of *
these?

Chum Chum <RIPS> it off his eyeball with a <PAINED SCREAM>
and puts it in the chest. Fanboy holds up a SWISS ARMY
KNIFE.

26 FANBOY
The super deluxe multi-purpose
knife that Grandpa Granboy gave me!

Chum Chum holds up what looks like an ANT FARM.

27 CHUM CHUM
Our one-of-a-kind maggot farm, cast
in hand-crafted pewter!

The boys are a BLUR as they ALTERNATELY ZIP IN AND OUT OF
FRAME, putting “treasure” in the shoe box.

28 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM
Ice Monster Crunch decoder ring! /
Aardvarks in Action trading cards!
/ Glow in the Dark sleep mask! /
Candy! / Money! / Candy money!

The <PANTING> boys stand in front of the treasure when Fanboy
notices that Chum Chum is hiding something behind his back.

29 FANBOY
Chum Chum...?

Caught, Chum Chum produces the hidden object: a BRASS BUTTON.

30 CHUM CHUM
My lucky button? But it’s
priceless!
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 4.

31 FANBOY
And that’s why she goes in.

Chum Chum puts in the button. The boys admire the treasure.

32 FANBOY (CONT’D)
It’s... beautiful.

He wipes away a tear, then immediately snaps out of it.

33 FANBOY (CONT’D)
Now we’ll bury it in a super secret
spot that only you and I will know!

34 CHUM CHUM
Uh... I’ll know the secret spot?

35 FANBOY
Uh-huh.

Concerned Chum Chum grabs Fanboy by the lapels.

36 CHUM CHUM
I dunno, Fanboy! What if I’m
captured by the enemy? I’ll never
hold up to questioning! I’ll open
up like a badly wrapped sandwich!
I’m weak!

37 FANBOY
Arrr, you’re right. You arrr.
(then)
I’ve got it! We’ll hide it wearing
these.

He holds up TWO BLACK BLINDFOLDS. The boys tie them on.

38 FANBOY (CONT’D)
Now even we won’t know where it’s
buried! Genius, right? *

PUSH IN TO THE BLACK BLINDFOLDS until the SCREEN GOES BLACK.

OVER BLACK: From the sound of the AUDIOSCAPE we can tell we
are OUTDOORS somewhere. We hear <FOOTSTEPS>.

38A FANBOY / CHUM CHUM *
Marco! / Polo! / Ok, just keep *
behind me, buddy. <humming> *

39 FANBOY (V.O.)
Okay, Chum Chum. This seems like a
good spot. Just hand me that
shovel and--
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 5.

<THUNK!> <TIRE BLOW-OUT, then HISS>

40 LUNCH LADY CRAM *
Hey, my car tire! *

41 CHUM CHUM (V.O.)
Oops! Sorry Sir.

<MORE FOOTSTEPS>. <SPLASH>.

44 OZ (V.O.)
Do you mind! This bathroom is
taken! Seriously. *

45 CHUM CHUM (V.O.)
Oopsy. Sorry, Oz.

<MORE FOOTSTEPS>. <CAT SCREECH!>

46 FANBOY (V.O.)
Perfect. Cat marks the spot. Now *
we dig...

We hear the <SOUND OF DIGGING>. FADE OUT SOUND. Then UP ON:

FANBOY ALARM CLOCK: *

46A FANBOY ALARM CLOCK *
Five ARRRS later. *

EXT. CITY STREET

ON A CRUDELY DRAWN MAP which shows a ZIG-ZAGGING DOTTED LINE
leading to an “X”. PULL BACK and show Fanboy holding it.

47 FANBOY
Okay, to find our treasure, we need *
to go 35 paces due north. Hmm... *
north... *

He tilts his head and feels a GREEN MOSSY PATCH on his neck.

48 FANBOY (CONT’D)
Moss always grows facing north!
Thataway, me hearty! Arrr!

They take a step and <WHANG!> They walk into a RAILROAD
CROSSING SIGN (Yellow circle, R/R).

50 FANBOY (CONT’D) *
(rubbing his head)
Arrr Arrr! What’s this cursed sign
doing here? It be not on the map.
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 6.

51 CHUM CHUM
Weird. Let’s try another direction.

EXT. UNKNOWN LOCATION - LATER

ON FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM, counting out paces:

52 FANBOY
...38, 39, 40.

53 CHUM CHUM
Okay, according to the map, we
should be standing on a tiny spit
of land in the Sea of Cortez.

WIDEN TO REVEAL the boys are in a CAGE with a BEAR.

54 FANBOY
This island’s more land-locked than
I expected. Let’s ask one of the
locals for directions.
(to Bear)
Buenos dias, senor. Donde esta...?

He holds the map up to the bear, which <ROARS> ferociously!

EXT. UNKNOWN LOCATION - LATER

CLOSE ON FANBOY:

55 FANBOY
33, 34, 35... jackpot!

56 CHUM CHUM
<sniffs> Smells like a chamber pot.

WIDEN TO REVEAL they are again in OZ’S BATHROOM. OZ enters,
urgently shifting his weight from foot to foot, clearly
having to go to the bathroom.

57 OZ
Do you mind? I have to finish
before mother takes a shower.

The boys look confused.

58 CHUM CHUM
Fanboy, I think there’s something
wrong with this map.

59 FANBOY
Lemme see.

Fanboy lifts his eye patch and studies the map.
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 7.

60 FANBOY (CONT’D)
Aw, Chum Chum! This is the decoy
map. The one we made to lead
crooks away from our awesome
treasure!

61 CHUM CHUM
Ohhhh. Then where’d we put our
real map...?

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FANLAIR - FLASHBACK

The boys are filling the treasure chest.

62 CHUM CHUM
How ‘bout this treasure map?

63 FANBOY
Toss it in! *

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. OZ’S BATHROOM - PRESENT DAY

Chum Chum slumps to the floor, defeated.

64 CHUM CHUM
Now we don’t have a map. And
there’s no way to find our treasure
ever again!

<STEP/CLOMP>. <STEP/CLOMP>. Chum Chum looks up and sees
Fanboy’s feet and peg leg. He cranes his neck upwards and
sees backlit Fanboy.

65 FANBOY
Oh, there be a way, Chum Bucket.
We’re gonna dig up this whole
blasted town! Arrr!

66 OZ
Ahem. A little privacy please? *

67 FANBOY
Oop, sorry. C’mon, Chum Bucket.

68 OZ
(notices something)
Ooh, low on TP. Do you still need
that map? *
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 8.

EXT. CEMETERY - LATER

The boys <WHISTLE> and casually lean against the TREE THAT
LOOKS LIKE A FOOT. Fanboy looks and sees the coast is clear.

69 FANBOY
I thought that funeral would never
end.

70 CHUM CHUM
Yeah. How many friends can a
goldfish have?

71 FANBOY
Now let’s find that treasure. *

The boys start digging a hole. Suddenly YO pops out!

71A YO *
Treasure? *

72 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM
<scream!> *

73 YO
Did I hear someone mention *
treasure?

74 FANBOY
(covering)
I’m sorry, Yo. But no, I don’t *
recall a conversation of that
nature. Do you, Chum Chum?

75 CHUM CHUM
(breaking down)
We buried all our best stuff and
now we can’t find it so we have to
dig everywhere in town for it!

76 FANBOY
Chum Chum!

77 CHUM CHUM
I told you I’d never hold up to
questioning! I’m weak! *

78 YO
Ooh! Buried treasure! I’ll help
you dig... for a share of the loot!

79 FANBOY
Yo ho ho NO, Yo! It belongs to us!
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 9.

80 YO
Oh. Okay. I understand. I guess
I’ll just have TELL EVERYONE I SEE
ABOUT YOUR SECRET BURIED mmphmph...

Fanboy slaps a hand over her mouth.

81 FANBOY
Fine. We’ll divide the treasure
three ways.

KYLE ENTERS.

82 KYLE
Oooh. Did you say “tres-ure”? *

83 CHUM CHUM
No. We said “treasure”.

84 KYLE
Oooh, even better. I want in. *

85 FANBOY
Okay. Four ways. But that is it! *

Smiling LUPE ENTERS.

86 LUPE
What’s it?

87 FANBOY
<frustrated groan>

EXT. FANLAIR ROOF

The “ship” is crowded with characters, now including: Yo,
Kyle, Lupe, CHUGGY, DUKE, CHEECH, MICHAEL JOHNSON, NANCY
PANCY, CHER, FANKYLECHUM, FRANCINE, MITZI, SCRIVENER ELF,
PRECIOUS THE PIG and THE DOLLAR-NATOR.

88 FANBOY
Okay, 17 ways, but that’s it! Just
me, Chum Bucket...

PAN ACROSS the characters who nod when Fanboy calls their
pirate names.

89 FANBOY (CONT’D)
Scurvy Duke, One-Eyed Cheech,
Captain Chuggy LaFoote,
Blackbeard... *

89A LUPE *
Arrg. *
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 10.

89 FANBOY *
White Beard... <goat bleat> Red *
Beard...

90 KYLE
It’s Scarlet.

91 FANBOY
Peppy the Hook... *

91A CHER *
Arrg! *

91 FANBOY *
Briney Pugwash... *

91B SCRIVENER ELF *
Hey Arg! *

91 FANBOY *
Nancy the Pancy... *

91C NANCY PANCY *
Arrg! *

91 FANBOY *
Diabolito, the Dancing Dutchman, *
Lady Revenge... *

91D YO *
Yo ho ho! *

91 FANBOY *
Sharkbait <pig snort>, Bilgerat *
Bernice... *

91E FRANCINE *
Whatever arg. *

91 FANBOY *
And... *

Fanboy stops at the Dollar-nator. He is stumped.

92 DOLLAR-NATOR
Artificially intelligent robotic
life form from the future... beard.

Fanboy jumps up and addresses his crew.

93 FANBOY
All righty, me hearties, if ye be
ready for treasure, say “aye”.
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 11.

94 EVERYONE
ARRR!

95 FANBOY
Close enough. Treasure HO!

WIDE. Impossibly, the Fanlair breaks off its moorings,

95A ALL *
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! *

“sails” down the side of the building and out of frame.

EXT. CITY STREET - INTERSECTION

Normal traffic as CARS pass through the intersection. All
the cars <SCREECH> to a halt as a TRENCH burrows its way down
the street. The only thing visible above the trench is the
shovels of the “pirate crew” as they dig said trench. BEAT.
Following behind the trench “sails” the Fanlair, Fanboy at
the wheel and Chum Chum in the crow’s nest, following the
trench’s progress with his spyglass.
*

95B ALL *
(tired) *
Yo Ho! Yo Ho! *

96 FANBOY
Lean into it, buckos! That
treasure ain’t gonna dig itself up!
Be the shovel, me hearties! Arr!

After the Fanlair passes through, a BUS drives right into the
trench, upending with a <CRASH>!

INT. FROSTY MART

LENNY sleeps at the counter. The shovels of the pirate crew
pass by the left window, with the Fanlair sailing behind. As
the shovel crew passes the electric door, it opens with a
<DING!> long enough for us to hear:

97 FANBOY
C’mon and dig, ya lily-livered *
scalliwags! *

The convoy passes the right window and out of frame.

ON LENNY, still <SNORING>. Suddenly we hear a <CRACK> and
the whole frame TILTS. Still-sleeping Lenny slides out of
frame.
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 12.

INT. MUFFLIN’S CLASSROOM

MUFFLIN, his back to the class, writes on the chalkboard.

98 MR. MUFFLIN
And that’s when Isaac Newton
discovered figs.

As he talks, the shovels pass through foreground. Mufflin
turns around to face the class.

99 MR. MUFFLIN (CONT’D)
Any ques... WHOA!

Mufflin falls off the ISLAND OF SOLID GROUND that he stands
on, the rest of the classroom having been dug up. Mufflin is
upside down, his head buried in the upturned earth.

100 MR. MUFFLIN (O.S.) (CONT’D) *
Stupid gravity.

EXT. CITY - AERIAL SHOT

We see the trench followed by the Fanlair zig-zagging all
across the city. BROKEN SEWER LINES shoot up FLUMES OF
SEWAGE in the kids’ wake. As the digging speeds up, we see
BUILDINGS, TREES, and CARS collapsing into the ground.

EXT. FANLAIR ROOF

The Fanlair is back atop the building as the sun beats down
on the filthy, exhausted crew, strewn about the “ship”.
Scrivener Elf sadly plays the CONCERTINA. Fanboy and Chum
Chum look disheartened.

101 FANBOY
Huh. I don’t understand it. We *
dug up the whole town, but still no
treasure. What arrr we gonna do?

102 CHUM CHUM
I dunno, but we better do it soon.
Methinks the crew be getting
restless.

THE BOYS’ POV - ON THE CREW: The disgruntled crew eye the
boys evilly. Duke <CRACKS> his knuckles. Fankylechum
sharpens his shovel on a GRINDING WHEEL.

103 CREW
<disgruntled grumbling>

ON THE BOYS:
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 13.

104 FANBOY
Blow me down! There be mutiny in
their eyes! We be done for!

105 CHUM CHUM
Uh... quick! Tell them about the
treasure again!

Fanboy grins, then jumps up and addresses the pissed crew.

106 FANBOY
Mateys, I know we be stuck in the
doldrums, but don’t forget what
we’re fighting for... treasure!

The crew’s evil looks are replaced by mild optimism.

107 CREW
<mildly optimistic murmuring>

108 FRANCINE
There better be gold in there. Or
I’ll be totally, like, arrg.

109 FANBOY
Gold?! Why there be enough gold to
choke a kraken!

110 YO
Will there be jewels? Tiny
adorable precious jewels?!

111 FANBOY
Jewels as tiny and precious as
Chuggy’s brain.

Yo and Chuggy brighten.

112 LUPE
Ith there... Phleh <spits beard
hair from her mouth> pirate beard
wax?

113 FANBOY
Enough to smooth a thousand chins.

The crew <OOOHS>.

113A ALL *
Ooooh! *

114 KYLE
And will there be decorative soaps
with fancy perfumes?!
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 14.

The excitement stops, as everyone stares at Kyle.

115 KYLE (CONT’D)
Excuse me for taking pride in my
personal hygiene.

116 FANBOY
It be the most amazing treasure of
all time, housed in a wooden chest
with a silver hasp and a satin
polyurethane finish!

117 LUPE
Like this one?

She points to the TREASURE CHEST. On top of it lies a CAT
with an “X” on it.

118 CHUM CHUM
Cap’n Fanbeard! The treasure!

119 FANBOY
Well blown me down! So it tis!
It’s been here the whole time!
Then that must mean...

120 FANBOY / CHUM CHUM
We buried the decoy treasure.
(to the crew)
Funny story, guys. You’re gonna *
like this.

121 CREW *
Treasure! *

Before he can finish, the crew tramples over the boys as they
rush to the treasure chest!

ON THE CREW, huddled close around the chest, giddy with
anticipation. They slowly open the lid - a GOLDEN GLOW
emanates from inside.

122 CREW (CONT’D) *
Ooooh.

They thrust their hands in the chest. BEAT. Disgusted, they
pull their hands out.

123 CREW (CONT’D)
<“Ewww” walla>

ON THE CHEST: Spumco-style, all the items look disgusting,
chewed up, broken and smelly. We hear <BUZZING FLIES>.
Delighted Fanboy and Chum Chum pop up in the foreground!
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 15.

124 FANBOY
<gasp> Our treasure! Just as we *
left it.

125 CHUM CHUM
It be even more beautiful than I
remembered!

126 KYLE
Beautiful? It’s horrid!
Everything’s broken and covered
with sticky gum.

Dollar-nator picks up the Man-Arctica action figure.

127 DOLLAR-NATOR
This collectible action figure has
been chewed by a human mouth.
Analysis: worthless.

Chum Chum grabs it.

127A CHUM CHUM *
Oooh. Yummy. *

128 CHUM CHUM (CONT’D) *
The feet are the best! You can’t *
stop with just one. <chewing>

He <CHEWS> on the feet. Yo pulls out a STRING with a CANDY
on it.

129 YO
A candy necklace with only one
candy left?

130 FANBOY
<gasp> Is there still one left? We *
thought it was just wet string.

The boys <GOBBLE UP> the candy! Chuggy pulls out the button
and <SNIFFS> it.

131 CHRIS CHUGGY
Wah wah?

132 CHUM CHUM
My lucky button! Swallowed twice
but always comes out good as new!
Hey, where’s our maggot farm?

133 FANBOY
I dunno. But check out these cool
new flies!
FB 135 "Fanboy A'hoy!" Animatic Draft - 06/10/09 16.

134 LUPE
We dig all day... for a box of
garbage?!

135 FANBOY
Well, a share of the garbage.
Shall we divvy up the booty?

The boys see the smelly, dirty crew look angrily at them.

136 CREW / YO *
<angry walla> / Get them! But Chum *
Chum’s mine! *

They close in on Fanboy and Chum Chum.

137 FANBOY
Hold on. This is your captain
speaking. Ahh! Not the hook!

EXT. FANLAIR ROOF - LATER

CLOSE ON THE BOYS:

138 CHUM CHUM
Well, I guess we found the one *
pirate thing we’ve never done
before.

WIDEN. The boys are forced to walk a PLANK from the roof.

139 CHUM CHUM (CONT’D)
Walking the plank!

140 FANBOY
Right ye arrr, Chum Bucket. Now,
I’m thinking aim for that sewage *
geyser. It should break our fall.

The boys jump off the edge of the plank.

141 FANBOY AND CHUM CHUM
ARRRRRRRRRR!

FREEZE FRAME on the plummeting boys. <SPLASH!>

IRIS OUT.

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