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J e a ns r e p o r t

Triumphant Against All Odds


The silent majority has spoken. Donald Trump
has summoned the mythical white working voters of the
Nixon Era. Trumps chaotic and controversial campaign,
for the working man, has crushed Hillary Clinton under
its steel toed boot.
We expected the sleeping giant of this election to be
latino voters, but the sleeping giant that seems to be
waking up is white american voters - CNNs Dana
Bash.
Trump has single handedly proven something
none of us thought possible. How could a man so
smeared in scum of his own tabloids, possibly hold
EYES HERE BUDDY
a public opinion rating high enough to challenge the priority. His plan proposes triple funding for revolv-
political dynasty of a generation? Trump has proved ing loan programs to help state and local governments
that with enough charisma and a little bit hootspa, no upgrade critical drinking and wastewater infrastruc-
scandal is a career ending scandal. ture.
Will this be the end of American Politics as we In Health Insurance, Trump wants to repeal
know it? With no anchor to hold the Democratic party Obamacare a longheld position of Republicans. But
to its roots, and a polarizing madman at the helm of if youre looking to save money, Trump also proposes
the Republican party, American political culture has to let you fully deduct your health insurance premium
never been so divided. A laymans guess to the political payments from your tax returns. The Donald is looking
landscape today: We are divided amongst four different to make insurance premiums more competitive by al-
ideologies: Trumpians, Clintonites, BernieBros, and lowing health insurance to be sold across state lines.
whatever you call Jeb Bush. Putins hand in this election has paid off. Whether
No one expected Trump to be the last man standing or not he was actually involved, the Kremlin pushed the
atop Washingtons ashes. US electorate in the Right direction. Trump and Putin
Well, America has made its decision. So, what do have great buddy-buddy potential.
we have to look forward to Trump presidency? Besides Do you think Putin will be going to The Miss Uni-
the tourism boost from the Great Wall of Trump... verse Pageant in November in Moscow - if so, will he
Trump will make clean water for all Americans a become my new best friend? - Trump, 2013
With Trump in the big chair now, we all have
something to think about. How will our nation cope
I went to a zoo the with all the pain, anger, and outrage Trump has created?
other day For our Muslim and Latino brothers and sisters, how
can we assure them that they are safe? I am sure that
It only had one many of you may want to leave the country. Many of
animal you might. But think to yourself, will Donald Trump
live up to the image painted by his opponents? Will
he embody our worst fears? Will he rise up to truly
It was a Shitzu Make America Great Again

Pls recycle me
GAMEROOM BB C l o s e te d Po l iti c s
The Benefits of Authoritarianism.
SMASH POOL No having to choose the lesser of two evils. You just get one!
NATIONALISM AND UNITED POPULATION
In a typical authoritarian government, media is

#1 SEAN controlled by the state, thus creating united (often nation-


alistic) opinions on controversial positions. Our population
HOLCOMB is spoonfed information. Most informed people only
differ in the shape of their spoon ( CNN, CNBC, CBS, ABC,
Fox). If our media platforms united behind the curtain or
suppressed, our nation could be easily steered in the most
2. RAMSEY efficient and beneficial public opinions. And in time, rally
behind an unelected ruler.
MATTHEWS MORE AGILE GOVERNMENT
3. TANNER In times of dire circumstances (war, natural di-
saster), Democratic governments bloated with bureau-
FRENCH cracy are unable to react as quickly to rapidly changing
4. LOUIS geopolitical climates. A government focused around one
ruler operates in sync, and can adapt/react faster than you
COLANGELO can say Thank you Great Leader! Without a congress,
5. COREY judiciary, and mountains of paperwork before them, The
New Commander in Chief has full authority as the Judge,
CRAIG Jury, and Executioner.
6. GIOVANNI A GOVERNMENT THAT PROGRESSES
In a democratic country like the United States,
ROMERO power shifts between two or more political parties (often-
7. BRANDON times polar opposites), with one party quickly undoing
policy installed by the previous government. In an authori-
BAHN tarian government, often ruled by a single party, policy only
8. DEVANTE moves forward and isnt stuck in a seesaw effect. Talk about
WHITE ending those pesky Congressional deadlocks!!!
Take a nice look around, and ask your local representa-
9. A.J. tive if Authoritarianism is right for you!
COMMITTE - JEAN
10. DANIEL
KIM Afternoon Hypothetical
You receive a text from an unknown
number. Your secret messenger wants to
meet up.
Mystery meet up or find out who they are?
CHIPORTAL

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