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Some things to consider, if you are being harassed at work.
1. There are no rules. When it comes to the rules of engagement in harassment, the first rule is there are no rules. People will play as dirty and be as hostile as they need to be to accomplish what they need to do, if that goal is to harass you, then you need to be prepared to fight. If you are being harassed get ready for war, because that's what you have on your hands. 2. Harassment is all about power. Harassment in school, work, or even on the streets is all about power. Those who have it, those who want it, and most importantly it's about taking yours. It's all about taking power away from you. Harassment is all about getting you to give up your power, your dignity, your self esteem and even your ability to say no to certain situation or requests. The harasser wants you to feel that they have power and control over you, and over the situation at hand at all times. It's a power trip that let's the harasser feel that they can humiliate, violate, degrade and even manipulate you at will. The harasser wants you to think that there is nothing that you can do about it. 3. Stay in control. This is easier to say than it is to do, but do what you have to do to stay in control. If you are not in control then they are, and that's what they want. If the stress starts getting to you then you can, use your vacation time, go part time, take a week sick leave. This is also a great time to get documentation from a medical professional as to what the harassment is doing to your health. This will also be important for any legal action you might have to take. Harassers like to know that they are winning, if they can make you cry, humiliate you, or make you angry, then they are starting to win. Harassers like to know that they can get a reaction out of you, any reaction, because then it means that they have control over your emotions, and reactions. This let's them know that they are getting to you, your power is going from you to them, this is what the harasser wants, don't give it to them. Harassers want to take your power, so stay in control for as long as you can. 4. Do not become an emotional zombie. To numb the pain and the reality of harassment, many times we will become emotionally numb to what is happening around us. Though this can be a great coping mechanism for dealing with the daily stresses and pain being suffered, it's important to not become too numb. Do not let your harassers turn you into an emotional zombie. This kills your ability to interact with others and it also makes it difficult for you to take the necessary measures needed to fight your harassers. Your emotions are yours try to own them for as long as you can. Once you become numb and start to tune out then your resistance weakens and not only are
Psyche. upset. but it's also a documented trail of the suffering you have endured. When taking notes make sure you document. Take cliff notes if you don't have the strength to write out the abuse on the day it happened. who said what. It will affect your emotions. frustration. -a source of strength greater than the harassment. stress. Many people suffer harassment in silence and in doubt. and how the actions. It's better to take notes as each incident occurs because then the details feelings and emotions are clear. who said what. Taking monotonous notes about the abuse that you are suffering on a daily basis. Another thing you can do is send yourself an email detailing the abuse or start a file folder. 5. and how the abuse made you feel. belief or whatever it was . Take notes This can be one of the most repetitive and stressful parts of the harassment.you numbing on a psychological level. You can remember who was present. because how could this happen to me other wise? Don't loose your faith. the day. at a time when you shouldn't have to go through it alone. violated. then try to have it documented by a health care professional. are the ones who were able to tap into a power source outside or inside themselves. much less having to come home after a long day and document what when on throughout the day. due to the harassment you have been experiencing. devalued. physical health. belief or religion use it. It is however better to try to explain this to a doctor or councilor than to try to go at it alone. usually when you need them the most. Most times you just want to forget that the harassment is happening. You need to have documentation to back yourself up. Whatever your creed. words. You really will need to tap into a power source that's greater than yourself as you now know it. Victim impact statements are taken into consideration for all other kinds of abuse so why not harassment. and spiritual well being. 6. Again make copies and don't leave the information at work or school. or we loose faith. Eg. but you might find that at this stage you become more susceptible to the physical ailments that harassment can cause. intimidated. but make sure you go back and document after. or laptop handy where you take notes of the abuse. Many times it's hard to explain to ourselves much less to a third party what the harassment is doing to us. 7.that kept them going.. if you are going to survive. See a doctor or two. scared. and why it's causing physical ailments such as exhaustion. If you don't have one find one. time. Harassment will eat and tear away at you on every level. Pray or meditate. or behaviors made you feel. The best thing you can do is have a little notebook. I think when something like this happens we try to be strong on our own. Professionals can not only be a source of future support. Threatened. folder. stomach problems. etc. what the intonations used were. I have found that the survivors who seem to come through harassment the best. etc. When it comes to being crafty companies and schools know what they are doing and notes and files will go missing at unexpected and unusual times. insomnia. who was present. In reading other harassment stories. anger. Do not leave your important notes or documentation laying around. If you miss any time off work or school due to harassment.
Nothing is secret and nothing is sacred. Know who not to trust. It's important to know who you can trust. Going to Human Resources. but it's even more important to know who you can not trust. and if you did not have any before this then you might have to try to find some before this is all over with. I have seen HR staff gossip with managers openly about other workers. or the school review board should be private and confidential but often it's not. You are your best representation. Each time I have gone to Human Resources to seek help. You lawyer. are often just out to protect the company they work for. Start to take notes. or Human Resources don't say anything you can not afford to have someone hearing back. be your own ambassador. You scratch my back and I will scratch yours. 10. People who should be doing their jobs and protecting your interest. 8. but don't expect it. Get professional documentation about what the harassment is doing to you. Health and legal professionals come in handy. It's great if your school. directors. I have also been witness to managers. To become your own ambassador you need to get organized. however you can never be too careful. Be your own advocate. Nothing is secret When it comes to harassment nothing is secret and nothing is sacred. it's just they don't care about doing what's right for you.you had before this began. Nothing is secret. doctor or counselor is not going to swoop in on a stallion to save you. Based on my own personal experience and the experience of others I believe that faith and hope are two of the most assuring things you can hold onto. Be prepared to take the gloves off if you have to. Do not expect your Alma mater to come to bat for you. and the most firm voice when it comes to being harassment free. senior managers. fast and dirty. They care about doing what's right. or advice for harassment. no one wants to sink to that level. Educational facilities and places of employment will play hard. They care about doing what's right for the company. that can promote them or demote them. do not expect corporate anyone to come out swinging on your behalf. If you go to seek help from management. 9. and nothing is sacred. but you are your best advocate. the company that pays their salaries. assistance. Going to upper management is not always the answer. people are human and corruption goes deep and high. or place of employment does come out for you. In a school or workplace environment positions and jobs are based often on who knows who. instead of doing the job they were sent to do. and HR participate and encourage harassment behaviour. you are your strongest defender. doctors. councilors. get witnesses together who might be willing to speak on your behalf. Too many times people react by coming to the defence of friends. I have personally been witness to individuals later referencing portions of the "secret conversations" I had with the Human Resource Personnel. mental health . It's easy to become paranoid or overly sensitive when you are going through an harassment situation. but when it's your survival you are fighting for you have no choice. the hope that somehow justice and punishment will be meted out by a higher source is one of the things that kept me and others going while waiting for justice to prevail. When you are seeing corruption and injustice rendered daily.
Tell people what's going on. ask for help either online. Stay focused and strong. . no one is going to do it for you. Keep trying on your own behalf. It's hard but you can learn. You will have to if you are going to survive. You have to find a way to become an advocate for your cause. the more documentation the better.experts. Get legal advise. The cause you are fighting for is an harassment free future. ambassador. and advocate all rolled into one. or offline. You will have to be campaign manager. and more importantly no one can do it for you.