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Your name: Yukako Honda

Peers name: Naoya

Yes No Comments

I understood that the writer was to write negatively about

Is the writers thesis the merit system because of the conclusion, but I didnt
statement clear? see any clear thesis statement in the Thesis statement
Yes, but it would be better if there was more information
about what is merit system, especially when the readers
Is sufficient background
arent English speakers, which means that they might not
information provided?
understand the meaning of the word (or is it just me being
Are the main arguments The arguments were clear and they strongly support the
clear? Do they connect
to the thesis statement?
Are the topic sentences They were very good!
coherent? Do they
connect to each
Theres no actual evidence given. For the second
argument, the writer says he is going to apply merit
Is the suggested
system to various work and consider the result, but if
evidence adequate and
he was to do that some sources will be needed to support
of high quality?
his results, so that it wont end up being a mere

Is the counterargument
logical and valid?

Although the arguments seem to not have supporting

Overall, does the plan evidence yet, the plans structure itself is logical.
have a logical structure?

Could you write an Theres no evidence to support the arguments.

essay based on this
plan? If no, why not?
Very interesting and I really hope I get to read the essay when its completed!!