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CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS - VOLUME 2
The Best of Change Your Thoughts - Volume 2 | Steven Aitchison
Dear friend Thank you for downloading this eBook, I hope you will gain some useful insights from the many articles and the guest authors we have for you. As you know my name is Steven Aitchison and I am the author of Change Your Thoughts blog, the biggest Personal Development blog in the UK. This is the 2nd volume of the best of CYT. The blog has now been running for over 3 years and has built up a fantastic group of readers and a loyal group of writers. I would like to thank all the bloggers who are doing it for the readers and doing it for themselves, this is only the draft copy so will thank specific people in the final version.
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You Are a Failure – A Letter To You
When you read the heading, how did it make you feel? did it make you feel anything? did you get angry? upset? Believe it or not that’s how a lot of people feel, no matter what they achieve in life, they feel as if it’s never enough. They feel everything they have done ends in failure; their relationships, academia, work, fatherhood, motherhood etc they take it all and see it as a failure. I have dealt with clients so many times who have been able to rhyme off all their failures, and it seems to give them a sense of satisfaction at being able to list so many, that’s because they have gone over it so much in their heads. I can empathize with the person who is suffering this, I have been there, we’ve all been there at some point, it might not have been as prolonged but we’ve still been there. The problem is when the person puts the blame on someone else, usually a failed marriage, a bad childhood, events that have happened in the past etc. If you are one of these people, I really do know where you are coming from, but:
Now Is The Time To Take Responsibility
The time to start is now. It’s time to say, yes shitty things have happened to me, yes I had a shit childhood, yes I was bullied as a child. It’s great to own that, and say it happened to you, but it’s also time to let go. Give yourself a break from analyzing the past, stop living there. Come back to the present and show everybody who you are today, not who you were yesterday. You are so much more than what happened to you. The very fact that you are with us today and reading this, whether you feel 2
but you didn’t. I’m still fighting on and you know what! I’m a success.angry or not. that’s what living in the now feels like. you’ve managed to stick two fingers up to the people who hurt you and say I’m still here. that’s a personal thing and I don’t want to feel your pain. • • • When you know this. you’re here. When you know this you can change the way you think. but I am still here’ Choose to feel different Maybe it’s not quite the right time. makes your life a success. but what I will never understand is how you feel about it. welcome back. real emotions and real moments when my life was almost over. that’s yours to own and believe it or not is a gift which will help you in the future. but you have the choice to feel different about life. you will stop blaming others for feeling lousy. nobody else. Take responsibility and know that you own your feelings. and here is a good place if you want it to be. real anger. I would love for you to say ‘I have felt real pain. and tell me I don’t understand what you’ve been through. 3 . believe me I do. Start the journey How do you feel now? Angry? Mad? A sense of relief? Good. you’ve felt the anger. You’ve cried enough tears. You’ve managed to come through the pain barrier. When you know this you can change your life. the pain. the heart tugging so many times and you’ve almost given up on a few occasions. it’s good to have you here. You might be mad with me just now for saying all this.
like by making lemonade. He has also created a compilation eBook that contains thorough discussion about 11 valuable quotations. Personalities Are Fairly Fixed In Place A basis for this concept comes from the idea that our personalities are fairly fixed in place. and competition. social interaction. you should then create what is possible from that value given to you. What is often ignored in this message is that you can’t go and make orange juice if you are handed lemons. their success is much harder to determine. On the other hand. and you are trying to make orange juice from the lemons life gave you.You Can’t Make Orange Juice From Lemons Author: Armen Shirvanian Armen Shirvanian writes for the site Timeless Information on topics including mindset development. What this relates to in your ability to make use of your strengths is that you have a certain set structure your body and mind have adapted to. you can predict with fairly high accuracy the skills that a child will have 20 years later. as well as where their deficiencies might be. From a young age. It is said that if life hands you something of value like lemons. as they could make use of their skills in a way that is unexpected. communication. 4 . Life experiences do take their toll. and so on. but I’ve noticed that the quiet person in a group now tends to be the quiet person in a group 5 years later. This is because they are making orange juice with the oranges life gave them. and it makes no sense to try and take on the form of someone else who is successful.
past actions and behaviors that affected you from a certain person are very likely to show up again. It may also do you well to write down a description of how others frustrated you today. Knowing that oranges can’t be used to make lemonade. future. The similarity is likely to surprise you.Work With What You Are Built With If your mind is one that brainstorms well when you are pacing around. because in the same way that history repeats itself. A co-worker who puts you down in some way every morning is not likely to quit that behavior until you realize the trend and respond in a way that makes a put-down from them to you not beneficial in their own mind. if not exactly. and that what you have seen from others is a good indicator of what you can expect more of. and eating a fish sandwich. but copying the pattern of another person. and then check on what you wrote today a week or two from now. or maintaining an exercise routine for many years. in a slightly altered way. Don’t expect that someone else will adapt to what your ideal of them is as time progresses. and take your idealistic glasses off to see if there is actual change taking place. Tomorrow Will Be Like Today If No Change Is Made The call to action from that point is to examine those you know. will be deleterious to your productivity. If you see someone responding in a common way each time. you want to realize that that is a very accurate indicator of what you can expect from them in the near. or work with you a certain way. listening to classical music. if it is not fitting for you. Notice Trends In Each Person’s Behavior This same concept applies to how you view others. or regularly tearing you down. provides you with understanding that reduces frustration. and possibly far-off. and leads you to find those lemons to make your lemonade. Knowing that some genius in the 1800s would learn and process best when by sitting for 2 hours and meditating before doing brainstorming doesn’t mean it is the way for you. It is worth trying if you are so inclined. 5 . and see who it is that you have been hoping would understand you a certain way. then that is what you want to work with.
” Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.Real Change – Should It Feel This Uncomfortable? Author: Douglas Cartwright Douglas Cartwright is a personal breakthrough and effectiveness coach who helps people get unstuck and start taking more action.co. His speciality is untying psychological knots that impede thinking and doing! To read more.overcomingprocrastination. This means that pain can be experienced to an outrageous degree but the people involved managed to live. starvation and disease to extremes we can barely imagine.net .livingwords. listen to the audio. In fact. Avy Joseph (p114) Marines train their minds to over-ride the pain impulses of their bodies. For a powerful free technique on implementation. if you do not experience them then the goal is not important or not what you really want. and request a free ‘explore your breakthrough’ session. and out in harsh terrain in ways that would kill the rest of us. and do what they needed to do to achieve their mission. or make it to the end of their confinement.uk “Tension and discomfort are necessary feelings in the process of achieving your goal. visit www. Victor Frankel got through a German concentration camp in horrific conditions because he believed there was something worth living for on the other side. He faced beatings. 6 . get through it. People have willingly died for their beliefs – and survived because of them. please visit the site at www. read the articles. They can survive under torture.
drugs. I did this for years. completely. See the examples above.We in the West live in a society where life is ‘easy’ compared to most of the rest of the world. In other words. and entertainment whenever we feel unhappy. Evaluating a difficulty as unbearable is not only flawed but it also triggers images and feeling that fight against goal achievement (p31)” I think we think we ‘shouldn’t have to experience ‘pain’ on the way to our success. We run away from discomfort and tell ourselves we can’t stand the problems in our lives. sex. Yes.” I think it probably felt quite real to the person with the knife through his hand! Nevertheless. Think again! If you’ve ever watched the violent and satirical sci-fi film Starship Troopers you’ll see the drill sergeant spear a recruit’s hand with a knife and then announce (as the recruit screams) : “PAIN – is in your mind. Isn’t that kind of like hating yourself for breathing? This is partly why Susan Jeffers said :”Feel the fear and do it Anyway” because fear seems like a stop sign but is actually just neurological7 . We medicate ourselves every time we feel a twinge. I know. and breathing hard if you’ve run a lot. Here’s a revelation I had which is changing my life: • • • those ‘feelings’ are completely normal. All this time you may have been rejecting the natural tensions that come along with changing the status quo. the idea is that it’s not just the feeling but what you tell yourself about it that determines whether you’ll get through it. As if we really know what ‘problems’ are! As Avy Joseph says in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: “We all experience problems in many areas of our lives but don’t always realise that our minds and bodies respond to how we rate them. Why we don’t stick with change They tell themselves that they can’t stand the feelings that come with it as if the feelings shouldn’t be there. it’s the meanings we choose to give to our ‘discomfort’. and dose ourselves with food. They are as part of you as sexual desire (although we don’t usually enjoy them as much!) They’re hot-wired into your mind-body system so they’re not going anywhere anytime soon. sadness when you loose something valuable to you. They are as normal as hunger when you haven’t eaten.
If they are. If you believe that God made you. It has too. mine must be broken…! So if we are often going to feel uncomfortable with the process of change (and I acknowledge there are plenty of times when change is fun) then what will help us stick with it until the change is made? • • • • A goal we want Healthy beliefs Healthy self-talk Reasons to persevere Exercise So what is the thing you want to change? What will the outcome be when you have got it? What difference is the change going to make in the ‘real’ world that is worth fighting for? How will I know I am different when I have made the change? What will be the improvements in my attitude and performance. is completely natural. They’re not instructions. I don’t deny that this is a hard piece of truth. But the experts say we are engineered for change? So why do we feel tense and uncomfortable? Well. you could not function.kinaesthetic information reporting to you how your perceptions are measuring the gap between what you have. But it is true. It ‘says’ Stop! The status quo is under threat. or you could not live a life where you doubted every element of your existence. Too often? But now you KNOW those feelings are natural. the simple explanation is this. If you did. then these signals are simply that – signals from a body and mind about itself and its environment. they’re just part of the process of change where old beliefs fight for their existence. and what you want. then you believe that every part of you that is made is ‘good for purpose’. Or the bed! So when you attempt to change your mind and body resists. even if we don’t always use/feel it so. And maybe you have stopped. and I genuinely don’t think they’re an infallible guidance system as some personal develop writers suggest. You’d be too scared to step out of bed in the morning in case the floor ate you. If you believe you just evolved. 8 . It sends out waves of discomfort. This. Your mind is designed to reinforce what you already believe. you have the first piece of what you need.
I’ll be more in control. “ What I have done here is given new meanings to the feelings I had (1) and used statements where I acknowledge my ownership and control of the meanings I use (2) Next. you might come up with something like this for a healthy belief: “Labelling emotions as unbearable. I can totally refuse (2) to use those labels and instead replacing them with ‘perhaps difficult but not unbearable’ or ‘in a different category to the comfortable emotions’ or even ‘all emotions are useful’ and ‘usefully produce discomfort in their message’ or ‘discomfortable messengers to prod me to alertness or to pay attention to something in my experience’. I have the power to choose etc really helps me. you will need to make a list of what you’ll get if you use the healthy belief as a reminder to push through the uncomfortable feelings – until they change. fears. too difficult. Let’s say that you were struggling to overcome your feelings. cannot override them. ask that owner for referrals etc. hear and feel that. 9 . Why a remote control? Well. (1)Removing these labels and downgrading them to ‘don’t love but can stand’. if you hold it – no-one can push your buttons! You have some idea of what it will be like to see. uncomfortable. I’ll have more peace. Avy Joseph says a healthy belief = what you want + keeping it real (p98) unlike an unhealthy belief that usually demands the world ‘must’ and ‘should’ conform to its demands. Now ask yourself what you currently think about making that change. feel helpless in the presence of them. It helps to write out a paragraph of what you want to believe instead. Let’s say your goal is to experience the remote control of power within you. is definitely going to fail because of them are all ways of giving commands to your nervous system to create goal avoidance and away from motivation.Grab a piece of paper write it down. I’ll feel more empowered I’ll be able to go on that date. Write down all the worries. griped and ‘I can’t’ statements. Write out as many benefits as possible. The next thing to do is to create a healthy belief about these feelings. After writing your negative thoughts.
10 . When you feel like you need reasons to go on. I can decide OTHERWISE can’t I?” Think about a couple having a humdinger of an argument. Changing your meanings and beliefs can sometimes be like this. puffing.Etc Now. You can repeat and affirm to yourself your new belief in the mirror. I like to think of changing the things that make us stuck as ‘psychological knots’. To undo a really gnarly knot my involve a lot of huffing. Well. you are armed and ready to go. walking away in disgust and coming back again with a renewed determination. Claude Hopkins in the Magic of Believing recommends this. “Really? According to WHO? You and whose army? Oh! So I have to feel helpless. Then have it with your self-talk. read your reasons to go on! When you’re self talk criticises you. Who decided that? Me. take it down pro-wrestling style! Albert Ellis in his wonderful book: How to Stubbornly Refuse to make yourself Miserable about anything ever again – yes anything!” says you really need to passionately and aggressively dispute your inner talk. But persevere and you’ll get there.
as I procrastinate and weigh the decisions of what to do next or when to do my project. But the pressure of the deadline seems to suck the life out of me and my work.Ask The Coach 8 – Overcoming Procrastination Author: Steven Aitchison Overcoming Procrastination Question from bretthimself answered by coach Steven Aitchison Question Here’s my question: I’ve found that my biggest sticking point in all of this is acting quickly. my mind drifts off to different places (like dark corners of the Internet). However. resulting in exponentially more time lost. The only time I can seem to pull myself together and not procrastinate (especially when finishing one project and moving on to the next) is when there’s a deadline to be met. The question is: how can I do the things I want to do without procrastinating or deliberating when there is not the stress of a deadline? Hi Brett 11 . I have always been a micromanager of decisions and deliberate before taking action.
Defiers – This procrastinator hates authority and cannot stick to a task given by a manager or someone else higher in authority. For some. especially after everybody seems to tell us that procrastination is bad and all the self help gurus tell us exactly how to overcome it. They make promises they cannot keep and love the pleasure of buying something new. so you can’t run on the adrenaline of leaving everything to the last minute as you will quickly burn out. According to Linda Sapadin (author of The 6 Styles of Procrastination and How Students Can Overcome Them© (Penguin. laid back life and not have to worry about the real things in life. This only works when there are a few deadlines throughout the year. Know what type of procrastinator you are You will see from the following six descriptions what type of procrastinator you are. but it is good to know which type you are in order to overcome procrastination problems. but hate the pain of paying for it. albeit at the last minute. when there’s a deadline. Is procrastination bad? I would first like to say that procrastination is not always a bad thing. They suffer from ‘what if’ syndrome and everything might have a negative consequence. procrastination works and it can be a great motivator for getting things done. They love the security of their world and constantly fret when faced with fear or change. Worriers – This type has a very small comfort zone and doesn’t like to stray too far out of the comfort zone. It’s hard hitting. there are deadlines to be met every single day. They promise the world but deliver an island. They have had many jobs and live in the world of the unconscious where everything is magical and assume they are special in some way. like you describe above. 1999) with Jack Maguire) procrastinators fall into one of 6 styles: The six types of procrastinators Dreamers – This type of procrastinator want to have an easy. They tend to withhold on tasks given to them and delay them stating how busy they are and how important their 12 . They put off a lot of things in their life in case something bad happens to them and hate facing a task head on. That might sound counterintuitive. In the real world.Thanks for your question on Ask The Coach I recognise what you are saying here and believe there is a lot of things you can do to help yourself with this.
Pretty soon. Perfectionists – It all or nothing for this type of procrastinator. only trouble is. ever wondered why so many people advise this? because it works. They constantly aim to please and pride themselves on being able to do lots of jobs at the one time. Crisis Makers – This usually starts at school when the crisis maker has one night to prepare for an exam and they are all traumatised as they haven’t prepared however they are secretly boosting that they can get the work it takes other s 3 months to do in one night. and quickly find that running on adrenaline every day doesn’t work so they burn out quickly. This strategy gives a feeling of power and can even spill over into relationships. Start at the top and work your way through them until all your tasks for the day are finished. Remember do not reward yourself at all until all tasks are completed. It will take ages to get them going but once they do the job will be perfect. or anything else until all tasks have been done. Again this spills over into their life as well. Yes. I am going to look foolish. you will develop a new habit and you will soon be known as the person who gets things done. The 6 steps of overcoming procrastination Write it down OMG not another person telling me to write it down. what should have taken 20 minutes takes 2 days. Write down your to do tasks for the day and realistically assign a time value to each one of them. if you practice this every day. Do not reward yourself with the Internet. They carry this on to the real world. The pressure and adrenaline spurs them on. TV. because of this they avoid tasks they don’t think they can do perfectly so they miss out.other tasks are. Stop making it a drama If you get into the mode of thinking this is terrible. what’s the point anyway – STOP! literally stop your mind from chattering and focus on the positive outcomes of what the task will achieve. However they cannot deliver on all their promises simply because they have too much to do and cannot concentrate on one task long enough to do it well. Their self esteem is on the line on every single task they do. 13 . it’s never going to work. Overdoers – The overdoers will take on the world and make your dinner at the same time. I am afraid so. reading.
don’t think that you might not be able to make it perfect just take it on and start straight away.Do it now Brett. Go jump out of a plane at 10. don’t think just take the first thing in your mind that needs to be done and get going with it.000 feet (with a parachute of course!). As soon as you get a task to do. To overcome being perfect try doing things the wrong way. a new habit of completing things early. However. Whenever you have a task do anything that will start the project off and I really do mean anything. If you are a perfectionist. Get your adrenaline rush elsewhere. This way you will get finished a week early. Leave the adrenaline rush where it should be and start to work a different way to get your tasks complete. When you take on new tasks do so with an open mind. It’s all about developing a new thinking pattern toward your tasks. but it stops you doing things in life. you might be proud of it. So do anything at all to get going and pretty soon things will start to snowball and the task will be complete. you cannot expect to live like this every day of your life. this way the boss will not start to pile things on you as they see you are someone who can get things done quick. again. it’s the starting of making the snowball that’s the problem. Stop trying to perfect the world You cannot be perfect. try being late for an appointment. However. it is literally impossible. develop. For example when you have been given two weeks to do something. It’s good to recognise that you like this adrenaline rush and it’s quite exciting but it’s time to try another way. Your perception of perfect is someone else’s perception of imperfect. try dropping a cup onto the floor so it breaks – get out of the mold of being perfect. you said you tend to consider things before you start them which leads you to drift off to other things. but take them on. your life will change forever. You can get smaller adrenaline rushes by assigning deadlines for yourself. If you do this religiously with every task you will. a note of caution here: if you are going to do this for a boss. 14 . Let go of the adrenaline rush People who do things at the last minute actually thrive on the adrenaline rush. you might not try new things as you are not able to perfect them. make sure you finish the task within the week but hand it in to your boss 2 days before the deadline. give yourself a week to do it and create your won deadline. It’s easier to roll a snowball down a hill when you have already made the snowball.
Let me know your thoughts on this. 15 . Well Brett. but I hope it has helped you in some way. Saying No will also empower you and give you much more satisfaction and confidence in yourself. I know this was a bit long winded. I got an idea and went with it. You will learn in life that there are times when you have to hold up a hand and say NO! You can’t do everything and to do something to a satisfactory level you have to be realistic about the amount of work you can take on.Learn to say NO! Stop taking on too much work. When you have taken on a certain number of tasks it’s time to stop any more work from being piled on you and gently remind the people who are trying to pile the work on you that you’ve got enough for now.
I have been resisting doing this post for a while now. If there’s one thing that will change your thoughts quicker than anything else. It’s my longest article ever at over 4500 words but I think it was worth the time and the effort. it kept niggling away at the back of my mind and I kept getting more and more ideas to add to it so here it is. However. Do the Thing You Fear the Most. I was originally inspired to do this by Dragos Roua who wrote a great post 100 Ways to Live a Better Life and who was inspired by Mike King in this great post 100 Ways To Be A Better Leader who was inspired by Armen Shirvanian: 100 Ways to Show Boldness who was inspired by the maniac who started it all Luciano Passuello and his post Tackling Any Issue With A List Of 100 So here I am with 100 Ways to Develop Your Mind 1. See Dealing With Confrontation 16 . Stand up For Yourself A lot of people have difficulty in standing up for themselves. it’s facing your fears.100 Ways To Develop Your Mind Author: Steven Aitchison This weeks Sunday Siesta has been postponed as I have been working all weekend on this article. The first time you do it can be very empowering and your thoughts about yourself will change forever. 2.
If you are good at maths.) 10. Strengthen Your Strengths Sometimes we focus too much on trying to strengthen our weaknesses when we should be concentrating on strengthening our strengths. 6. Blindfold Yourself for a Day Walk in the shoes of a blind person for 1 full day. 7. This has the benefit of reinforcing and strengthening your self image. just give a larger than normal donation to someone. nonetheless it’s a great way to let go of your inhibitions. Stop Talking It’s great to be silent for just a little while.3. If you are good at talking to people. Take A Walk Around an Art Gallery You might not appreciate art or participate in it but it’s great to see the thoughts of others on canvas. it will forever change the way you think about life. Give Money to Someone Unexpectedly Whether it be on the internet. Disciplining your mind is a great way to start changing your life. tell yourself often. If you just get up and stand on a sturdy chair your mind will be wondering what the hells going on and try and force you to get off the chair. 4. See Self Discipline 8. It can give us a tiny glimpse of what goes on in other people’s minds. or in the street. 5. Dance When There’s Nobody There It’s a strange sensation to dance on your own. 9. Strengthen Your Thoughts About Yourself Reinforce your thoughts about your good points. This again is liberating and your thoughts about money will change for a few moments (that’s all it takes to start the process of changing your life. although when I have done this I look like a dog having a seizure. tell yourself this often. Our thoughts turn inward and we begin to appreciate ourselves just a little more. 17 . Stand on a Chair for 5 Minutes Per Day Building self discipline is a great way to take control of your mind and your thoughts.
Read This Post by Robin Easton 12. 18 . Honestly drop them from your life. This helps put your life into some perspective and gets you thinking about your childhood and growing up. Read This Post by Dan And jennifer 17. I wouldn’t advise doing it all the time. We’ve got to ask why we avoid them in the first place. Stop Contact With Your Down People If you have people in your life who constantly drag you down. This totally smashes the boundaries of your comfort zone and your life could change forever. Believe In Yourself A lot of people believe their life has been pre-destined and there’s nothing we can do to change it – absolute rubbish. but just saying hi to stranger in the street or good morning can have an enormous impact on your day and the person you said hi to. Do something that you didn’t want to do because you thought you wouldn’t be any good at it. Talk To A Stranger Again this is breaking our comfort zones. 14. 13. I mean when everybody is out. 16. YOU are the only person who controls the universe. is it something within us that we are avoiding? 15. yes I did mean universe. or are negative all the time. Take A Risk Life would be boring without ever having taken a risk in your life. drop them. Walk Around The House Naked I can almost feel the shock at this. Read A Book By An Author You Most Avoid reading books by authors we avoid gives us a chance to take control of our minds and lets us see another side to our thinking. think about that and start acting upon it. Write An Article About Yourself Imagine a newspaper has asked you to write an article of 1000 words or less about yourself and your life and they want to know what motivates you in life. you are not serving them and they are not serving you and they are dragging your thoughts down. now write the article. Lock the door and totally liberate yourself and your thinking of what’s right and what’s wrong. Your universe is different from mine so you control your own universe. but from time to time. it’s a great feeling.11. I don’t mean when you’ve got guests in.
What You Think. ask for a discount. Ask For A Discount When you buy anything from a shop that is over $100. what’s the worst that can happen? 20. Just say to them you thought you would come over and say how attractive they looked and felt you had to tell them. If you keep your act of kindness to yourself without ever telling anyone the feeling of positive energy lasts much longer. don’t keep it hidden. but you enhance your own skill by owning it. you don’t have as much expectation. but are we really thankful for what we have? Spend time every single day being thankful for the good things we do have in our lives. Risk Embarrassment Imagine if you had seen the person of your dreams on a bus. Do Something Nice And Don’t Tell Anyone About It We tell others about our acts of kindness to let them know how nice we are and to seek approval. Tell the salesman you’d like a 10% discount on the item. Read How To Meditate 19. Work Toward. Retreating into your mind for a few minutes every day will do you a power of good. When you share it you not only have the power to help others. If this happens to you. Obviously don’t turn into a weirdo and do it with every good looking person on the street. 21. When you don’t care about the outcome. Practice Gratitude We all know what we don’t have in our lives because we spend a lot of time wishing we had them. Most people are so afraid of doing this but it’s a great way to empower yourself and let go of another inhibition. or at the store and you didn’t do anything about it how much would you kick yourself. 19 . Meditate Every Day Another powerful thing that has the power to change your life and your thinking for good. Is An Impossible Goal If you work toward a goal without expectation you don’t care about the outcome as much. read The Post at ZenHabits on Gratitude 23. 24. 22.18. Share Your Skills Everybody has a skill of some kind. You never know what will happen and how much your life could be changed. do something about it.
32. Buy someone a gift just because you know they would like it. 28. This has two benefits: a) You can really listen if you are not formulating the stories in your own head when someone is talking b) you will make the other person feel great as you are actively listening to them. What Is Your Best Quality Today 20 . christmas or special occasion. Resist the urge to speak your views when someone is talking to you. Allow Yourself To Be A Lazy Git We are so used to filling our time with useful things to do and being productive we have forgotten the art of laziness. Remember this when someone acts out of character and behaves in a way you don’t approve of. Spend More Time With Your Kids Your kids will grow up very quickly. 29. Pass On Your Good Books If you’ve read a book and it changed your thinking or life in some way. Don’t Talk Just Listen Enhance your listening skills by not talking when someone is speaking to you. Forgive Behavior The way we behave doesn’t necessarily reflect our true thoughts. 30. just listen to them and ask them more open ended questions at the appropriate times. Give Someone A Gift For No Reason We always assume someone buys us a gift for a reason whether it be a birthday. 31. 27. Be as outrageous as you want and just write about your ideal life and how you interact with it. 26. Words on paper are powerful and can help shape your goals. pass it on to someone else who might benefit.. Write Your Future Life Story Start from the age you are just now and start writing your future life story as you’d like it to be. Being lazy is good every ONCE IN A WHILE and it allows our mind to slow down and relax.25. spend as much time as you can with them.
34. This reinforces your strengths and weakens your perceived weaknesses. 37. If you find worries you cannot act upon it means there is nothing you can do to change the outcome of that worry. This reinforces someone else strengths or strengthens their weaknesses and makes them feel good about themselves. leave a comment and join in the community of people. Work On Each Worry In Turn Now that you have all your worries listed. Write A Comment If you visit a blog you like.Every morning for 10 seconds just state. You will notice that you don’t have as many worries as you thought. Make A Video Of Yourself And Post It To Youtube Why on earth would you do this? Just because you can! 36. Tweet Your Moods If you use twitter why not tweet your moods daily and see if there is some kind of pattern after a few months. what your best quality is. so forget it. if there is not much of a community. Go through them and start acting on them in turn. out loud if you can. 35. Or. Read About Successful People If you want to change your thoughts and change your life read about people who have already done it and use them as guides. 39. Stop Watching Soaps 21 . Worrying consumes our thinking and we think our whole life is one big worry. be part of starting it. Try and change it every day. 33. tell them how good they are at that particular task. List All Your Worries Make a list of every single worry you have at the moment. 40. why waste mind energy on something you cannot control at all? Read This Post for More Info 38. Tell Your Friends And Colleagues How Good They Are If a friend or colleague does something good. When you get it down on paper it’s extremely surprising that you don’t have as many as you’d thought.
However. You will be much more respected this way. 41. give it to someone who is homeless or better yet buy them a meal with it. Follow your instincts We don’t trust ourselves nearly enough as we should. do anything and make sure it’s out of character. read it and you are buying into it. People get so caught up in the emotions of the soap that they experience what the actors and actresses are doing. If You Find Some Money Give It To Charity If you find money in the street don’t pocket it. buy your kids a gift. 46. (expand that boundary). you wouldn’t run out of things to talk about. take time off work. that’s obviously a different story. Write To An Author Authors are people just like you and I and they love getting feedback about their work. take your partner away. If it’s a suitcase full of money. take time to write to the author and thank them. Newspapers sell because of their doom and gloom. 43. Don’t look for a reply. Follow your instincts more and pay attention to the signals your body is picking up and see where it takes you. you would still be as up on the world as everyone else. 48. book a holiday. Do Something Every Day To Improve Your Mind 22 . Do Something Spontaneous Jump on a bus without looking at the destination. 44. You might find that your conscious brain gets in the way of your body signals a lot of the time. it will change your thinking in so many ways. If a book touched you in some way or changed you. Read This Post for More Info 45. 47. Your Thoughts Really Do Have Power When you realize this. I can’t tell you that it’s true you have to experience it for yourself. 42. Always Admit It When You Have Made A Mistake Don’t blame others or hide behind someone else. no matter what the consequences are. just thank them. don’t take the blame for others. Have A News Break What would happen if you never read a newspaper for a week? nothing at all. your life wouldn’t change. Hold your hands up and admit you made a mistake.Soap operas actually have the power to alter your state of mind.
When you want the smaller things in life. I mean literally ask and metaphorically ask. he had integrity etc. ask out loud and send it out there. Asking for your wants puts it out there. I can’t really not invite because I’ll be dead. However. When you know what you really want to do with your life then your life takes another path. 52. sudoku your mind. This is true of everything in life. 53. he was a family man. 50. he was a caring man. thank the person and look for an opportunity to give someone else a compliment. Just a little turns into something huge. If you don’t eat that much. read This Post by Dragos Roua 51. read a stimulating blog post. he always told the truth no matter how hard it might seem. Change Your Thinking Style If something is not working out.Learn a new word. If you receive a gift. anything that will help your mind just a little. do an anagram puzzle. When you want a big house or a mansion. Always Have A Good Breakfast We underestimate the power of food to keep our brains healthy and our minds alive with energy. read a book. ask for them from people who can give you them. 49. Always pay it forward. 54. Ask For What You Want In Life If you don’t ask you won’t get. Pass On Your Knowledge Knowledge is for sharing. try and change your thinking style and come at it from another angle. When Someone Does You A Good Turn Pay It Forward If you receive a compliment. Read this post on eating by Vin Miller 55. What Do You Really Want To Do In Life You will find most people cannot answer this question simply because they are plodding along with life. What Would People Say About You If You Died This is not a morbid thought. but I often think about what people would say about me at my funeral. the important people are ones I would care about most and I would like to develop my life’s values based on what people would say about me at my funeral. The thing is the ones who might say something bad. make sure you have a good breakfast to set you up for the day. let others know what you know if it’s appropriate. give a gift to someone else at an opportune time. 23 .
com or Audible. My sons are not very pleased about it though 57.co. Make Love Regularly Releasing the feel good chemicals. 59. I paced my way through university. 24 . endorphins. This way your mind is focused on them for at least part of the day. 61. therefore your life. Sing Your Heart Out I love to sing. Listen To Music This stimulates the mind and can have tremendous benefits for your thoughts. I love rousing rock driving during the day and dance trance music at the weekend whist driving 62. We have a radio station over in the UK called gold http://www. Make New friends Whether it be online or offline. My theory is that the body and mind is being stimulated with the exercise you are doing whilst walking. 60.com is a great way to spend long journeys and learn something at the same time. Have A Sleep In I am not a big fan of sleeping longer than I have to. 63. I have to admit to feeling much more creative after making love. Blood flow to the brain help you to study and remember. 70s and 80s and I sing at the top of my voice as there is always something on that’s good. It helps the brain recuperate.uk/ and it plays music from the 60s. this makes the blood flow. Love The One You’re With Always let your partner know how much you love them by telling them and showing them. into your bloodstream is a great way to stimulate the mind. Listen To A Book Instead Of The Radio Getting downloadable books from Amazon. but I love it. Keeping yourself busy socially is stimulating for the mind and lets you see the world from others peoples perspective. I hopeless at it. Pacing Whilst Studying This has helped me a lot over the years. 58.56. I love listening to Baroque music whilst driving at night.mygoldmusic. but sometimes it’s great to lie in bed for a few hours longer than normal.
68. However. Read this post by Vin Miller 65. all help to increase the minds capacity for learning. read this post on Micro Naps 67. Exercise your mind and read a book. 70. When the house. When the house is not tidy there is always a niggling at the back of your mind. reading different philosophers views about the world will stimulate your mind. Read Philosophy the beauty of philosophy is that there is no right and wrong. you’ll discover some great information on during your research. Look For Evidence Of Your Beliefs This will develop your mind and your critical thinking. anagrams. sudoku etc. Turn Off The TV There’s nothing more brain numbing than having the TV on all day every day. 66. or at least watch something educational. read this post at DumbLittleMan 69. Read this post by Tim Ferris 71. Tidy House Tidy Mind There really is nothing better than clearing your house or office space to clear your mind. Take Micro Naps Taking a micro nap for 10 minutes a few times a day does wonders for your brain energy. maths puzzles. reading.64. playing chess. Ditch The Credit Card 25 . If you look for evidence of your beliefs such as ‘what is the evidence that sea water is blue or green’. Travel Often Travel really does broaden your horizons especially if you really get into the local food and culture. office and workspace is totally clean and tidy it frees your mind to concentrate on work or your family at home. Exercise Your Mind Not Just Your Body We all know the benefits of exercising the body but exercising the mind by doing crosswords.
Make Up Your Own Mind 26 . 76.We have forgotten how to wait for the things we want in life. and goals can only be reached by taking action. 75. 78. This will discipline your mind as well as your money spending habits. 74. Read this post by Brandon Lindell 79. Keep Up To Date With New Theories Whatever field you are interested in keep up to date with new theories and discoveries. beauty and intelligence. 73. 72. Carry Yourself With Confidence People can tell by the way you walk if you are confident or not. The more action you take the more your mind will help you to keep going. Never Let Your Mind Go Out Of Fashion Keep up to date with the latest research on health. Antioxidants and/or caffeine may help fight the onset of Alzheimer’s by 30-60% drinking 30 cups a day is obviously not good but 35 cups per day is okay. Drink Coffee And Tea Despite evidence to the contrary coffee and tea have been shown to help the brain. Read this post by Jonathan Wells 77. Watch A Motivational Video On Youtube First Thing In The Morning This is a great way to start the day. self esteem. Take One Action Toward Your Goals Every Day Your Self confidence. if we see something we like we want it now and using a credit card is too easy. Make the object of your desire more precious by saving up for it. New theories in psychology are especially interesting albeit quite thin on the ground. The less stress you have the less your mind has to cope with. Just type in motivational into youtube search box. Tackle the biggest stressors first and work your way down. Walk with purpose and have a purpose to walk. Confronting Your Stressors Whatever you are stressed about the most tackle first. Only those whose thoughts keep searching will stay intelligent for life. sort by view count and watch a few videos.
Change Your Hands Practice doing this with your less dominant hand. This way your mind is kept more active. Practice Deep Breathing Getting plenty of oxygen to your brain is key for a healthy mind. 27 . 83. Get A Dog/Cat If you live alone why not go to one of the pet rescue centres and get a dog or a cat. 85. whether deliberate or not. People who have pets are shown to be less lonely. Reduce Your Alcohol Intake I had to say this. Eat Plenty Of Fish There is an abundance on new evidence that eating fish is great for our brains and keeping them healthy. 86. watch this video to get you started 81. Don’t cut it out just reduce it to the recommended safe level. is a propaganda machine feeding you information to manipulate your thinking. Take Up Yoga This is meant to be one of the best ways to relive stress and exercise both mind and body. Or if you always go to a particular store. I am an addiction worker. start doing it with your feet 82.When reading or listening to the news. Do anything to break the patterns you have in life. 80. change it and go to the same store in another area. Quit The Smoking Yep it can be one of the hardest drugs to give up but it is worth it. If you are ambidextrous. Break your Pattern If you are the one who always goes shopping swap the routine with your partner. deep breathing can help with this. do your own research and make up your own mind. The government and large corporations. If you are right handed start doing things with your left hand and vice versa. read this article by elizabeth Scott 87. 84. and show fewer signs of stress. I feel so much better for giving up smoking and have a lot more energy than normal and my mind can function a lot better. more active.
on a telephone call can be very frustrating sometimes. If you use the time to develop your mind and focus on your goals your frustration will dissipate very quickly. Stimulate Your Brain By Going To A Concert Whether it be a rock concert or am orchestral concert. Want to start a business? join a group and get ideas for best practice. 89. for developing your mind. get others involved in this as well. Read this article on divergent thinking 28 . 90. 91. Try new foods and train your palette to eat better foods. Read The Tao Te Ching Has to be one of the best books. whether they be at home or at work.88. Practice Patience Waiting in queues. gives you ideas and lets you meet people who are interested in the same topics as you. 94. read this blog byNaoto Matsumoto 93. Join An Internet Group Join an internet discussion group to further your education on topics of interest. Even if you don’t think you have skills you can still help someone out in your community just by talking or doing their shopping for 1 hour per week. Volunteer To Help Others Volunteering is a great way to give back to the community and help others learn the skills you have. in my opinion. 92. Try New Food We have trained our palettes over the years and have gotten used to eating certain foods day in and day out. Practice Divergent Thinking This is the practice of looking for multiple solutions to problems or issues that arise in your life. getting out and hearing music live and being with people who enjoy the same music stimulates your mind and your emotions. Use free time like this constructively instead of getting angry and putting yourself in a bad mood. Want to know more about tropical fish? join a group. traffic jams. Don’t judge your solutions just put them down on paper until you can’t think of any other ways. This educates your mind.
For example you put on your parent hat when talking to your kids. that was a great book but I can’t remember what it was about. make sure you over deliver on everything you do. mental. Always Over deliver On Your Promises If you say your going to do something. If you try to consciously multitask like make the kids lunches. 101. Put On A New Hat Edward De Bono wrote a book called Six Thinking Hats in which he proposed you to put on a different. don’t just do it and get the job complete. Allocate Time For Worrying If you are a recovering worrier and you need some help. allocate a certain time each day to worry about everything. We spend too much time faffing instead on concentrating on the task at hand.’ 98. Read The Dictionary Learning a new word every 2 -3 days will increase your vocabulary by 120 – 170 words per year. read this article by Dave Crenshaw 97.org 100. Stop Faffing And Just Do It Faffing is the art of doing small things to avoid completing a bigger task. Multitasking stresses out minds and helps to produce bad results. you can also put on your child hat for playing around with your kids. Write A Short Essay On The Books Your Read Doing this will keep your mind active and helps your to read in a different way as you are analyzing books instead of just reading. mentally putting on different hats allows you to better go in and out of different roles in your life. 99. hat for each area of your life. Read this Article at Lifehack. 96.95. Stop trying To Multitask Multitasking can’t be done except with unconscious processes such as walking and talking. this way you retain more information and in a few years time you don’t embarrass yourself by saying ‘yeah. Once you’ve done the time of worry. leave it until the next day. 29 . have a telephone conversation and try and get the kids ready for school it can’t be done nearly as effectively as doing each task separately. I am constantly getting on at my son and saying ‘Stop faffing!’.
30 . white and black. and cultures. However. beauty and ugliness. crossing borders. – they just………….Seeing the Beauty in Ugliness Author: Steven Aitchison Look at the image above and imagine that the seesaw represents a scale of beauty from 1 – 10. happy and sad and so on. take away the labels of ‘beautiful’ and ‘ugly’ from the two figures. there are more or less universal beautiful people. out of ten. We’ve all played the game at school ‘what would you give them. We look at people everyday and box them into lots of classifications. right and wrong. Look at the image again. and what are you left with? You are left with two figures sitting on ‘The scale of beauty’ however. without putting a label on it. for looks?’. one of them being the box of beauty. On one end of the scale represents beauty and the other end of the scale represents ugliness. What if we could look at life and just see what’s in front of us.are! Looking without labelling Our lives revolve around the dualities of life: good and evil. Of course beauty is subjective and one person you might find attractive will not seem attractive to me. since they have no labels we cannot call one more beautiful than the other or one more ugly than the other.
Walk down a busy street and just glance at people as they are walking past. You will become – just you! 31 . fashionable.Try it. fat. Try walking down the street and just seeing a person. camp. When you stop labeling others you will stop labeling yourself as well. That is just some of the labels we give. it’s extremely difficult at first but with practice you will get to do it and turn of the little labelling machine you have in your head. skinny. handicapped and so on. gorgeous. When the labeling machine is turned off you start to notice life in a different light and your life is a little more laid back. you’ll notice you label people almost immediately: businessman.
Set Your Mind Alight and Find Your passion Author: Steven Aitchison If you want to change. I’d like to share what I have learned over the last few months that has made a tremendous difference in my life and hopefully help you change. something about your life. How I keep my mind alight The simple way for me is to literally immerse myself in what I want at the end of all this. My mind is buzzing with ideas which have to be written down and saved in case I forget them. I am jumping out my bed even earlier than normal and can’t wait to start writing or interacting with readers. I am not the world’s best writer. and with my writing. It’s never really been that way before as I had my mind on so many other ventures. I love it. I know that. There’s no better feeling than that. and am working on this every day. I read their writing. I mean really want to change. I study what other bloggers have done before me and read their stories. Admittedly not all the ideas mature into a fully written article but they are saved in case I can come at it from a different angle down the line somewhere. Lately I have been infused with a real passion and drive for what I am doing. to become a full time blogger and writer. writing and blogging. I read writing in my field of 32 . Now the other ventures are out of the way I have the drive and real motivation to get ahead with my blogging. I love the thought of someone reading my writing and it sparking a light in their mind that set’s them off down the road to the change they want. and it’s even better when I get an email from someone to say how much an article has meant to them. However.
with ideas. it’s like the duracell bunny on 10 cups of coffee. Once you’ve got this clearly in your mind. 3. find out if it sits right with you. and are excited by working with you and helping you in your goals. Read about your heroes in your chosen field. You really have to know what you’re aiming for. I am going with the flow just now as words are dripping off the page and I don’t want to stop in case the muse disappears on me.interest which is personal development. which is why I started the blog in the first place. join clubs. I visit job boards to get work as a freelance writer. Know what you’re aiming for The example above shows I didn’t really know what I was aiming for with regards to my online goals. This part may last for some time. and it’s the very first time I have believed that I could actually do it. imagine what it will be like this time next year. I always had a goal to become a full time blogger. living it. If it sits right with you and that gut feeling is saying ‘Go for it. Now I can honestly see myself as a full time blogger. but I have ways for dealing with that. I visit sites about writing. always have a ball at your foot. You find this out by visualising yourself doing what you’re aiming for. becoming a coach. fire that arrow’ it’s time for the next step. you feel yourself doing it. It’s taken me three years to reach this stage but every single change I have gone through to get here has been worth it. making products that I was interested in. Deep immersion Totally immerse yourself in your chosen goal. However my mind wandered into affiliate marketing. your dedication. It’s seems to have gone beyond passion and my mind is alight with possibilities. 2. Other people see your passion. I write and I write. David Beckham’s old neighbours remarked that they never seen David without a football at his feet when he was younger. Planning from the middle outwards 33 . It’s like an archer firing at a target that he cannot see. the only problem is slowing down. I write. I have managed to secure two long term writing positions with top blogs and am looking for more. How to set YOUR mind alight to change your life 1. This is in the space of a few months of focus and concentration. it could be months it could be years before you start seeing results but you have to keep deeply immersing yourself and never lose the passion. breathing it. This is how we learn to become great. read football. this is how we stand out from the crowd. internet marketing. and the blogging took a back seat. If your goal is to become a football player. play football. go to matches. you have to watch football. so many things. dream football.
This is not true at all . your hunger into another part of the goal (no pun intended there). 4. Once you’ve reached this stage it might be easy to think that you are over the hill and no longer have the skill you once had. To maintain your passion. Keep your mind focused on your target.win situation. Your network of friends. From the network you will see a path of people who will help you to reach your goal faster. However a lot of people will have to start planning after the immersion stage. your enthusiasm. Get a name as someone who is genuine and willing to help someone reach their goal. If someone asks you for help with something. Maintain the passion It’s easy at this stage to get sidetracked by other things. Conclusion Your thoughts and action determine your success. he plays for himself and the team. Know when to branch out There will come a time. I read a great post the other night from Jonathan Wells which explains this better than I can. Some people get there in the deep immersion stage and everything naturally falls into place. It’s now time for planning how you are going to get there. practice gratitude and remember all the people who have put you where you are today. when a coach coaches they are carrying on the legacy they had as a player and reaching and touching the lives of so many more people. This is not using people. you are simply using their influence and contact and they will be asking for your help in the future. family and new ‘network friends’ are key to you reaching your goals. it simply means you direct your passion. immerse yourself and help those around you and you will reach your goal. there are many people who have fallen from grace with the trappings of fame and fortune and forget the people who put them there. Even with the ‘outskirt’ people who ask for help. This is true of everyday life as well. like in a footballers career where their passion for playing will be turned to passion for teaching others. so they see it as an investment and you see it as an investment. When a footballer plays. you are never too big to do it.Once you’ve deeply and passionately immersed yourself you will be surrounded by a network of people who will help you to get where you want to go. 34 . The way to get them to help you is to help them as much as you possibly can. then help them. read it here 5. a win. How are you getting there? What sets your mind alight? what are your passions? How did you get there? It would be great to hear your stories. if they are genuine about their goal. Always help out when you can. Keep you passion alive and see everything anew everyday.
the darker side of the plant grows faster than the sunlit side.The Heliotropium and Givers of Energy Author: Steven Aitchison The Heliotrpium is a plant that turns itself toward the sun in order for photosynthesis to occur. she is positive. and just shows how beautiful and intelligent nature really is. 35 . However she can spot an energy taker a mile off and runs in the other direction to avoid them as do I. intelligent. enthusiastic and have a natural love of life. The energy givers willingly give out positive energy in order to help the people around them just by being positive. We are two of a kind and together we give a lot out to our family and friends.google. “……why do sunflowers always appear to be reaching toward the sun? The technical answer is that the flower’s orientation to the sun in due to differential growth of the stem.” (from the site answers. Because of this. as humans. Energy givers There are some people who are natural energy givers and a lot of people who are energy takers. funny. causing the stem to bend towards the sun. A plant-growth regulator builds up on the shaded side of the plant when unequal light conditions exist.com/) I think this is absolutely fascinating. It also answered a lot of my questions on why we. My wife is a perfect example of an energy giver. I can think of many people in my life who are like this and I believe I was attracted to them for this reason. gravitate toward people who seem to have a lot of positive energy and enthusiasm for life. compassionate and enthusiastic about life.
So you see like attracts like just like an energy giver will be attracted to another energy giver. I believe we are here to reach our true potential and to pass on our potential in order for others to reach their true potential. spiritually. but if you complain all the time you will be ‘Billy no mates’ in a very short space of time. laugh a lot but it can be a someone else’s expense a lot of the time. It’s okay every now and again. You cannot see the sun’s rays but the sunflower can feel it and turns itself toward the sun to drink in it’s energy. with encouragement. We also use the sunflower for sunflower oil. physically and intellectually. Contribute to the people around you: Give positive energy to those around. but not all the time. sunflower seeds etc. like the sunflower. Complainers can become very boring very quickly and suck the energy out from people as soon as they start complaining about something. condescending. There are many people who need to live off benefits but the people who are able both mentally and physically are energy takers and one huge way to reverse this is do something about the situation instead of moaning how little the government gives you to live. You don’t have to be super confident just make an effort to join in and give some energy back to the group. Grow you mind. When 36 . They believe life owes them something and complain when they don’t get what they want in life. spend more time with your kids and family. grow you spirit. look after yourself physically and grow your intellect whenever you can. If you are part of a group of friends make sure you join in your conversations with funny stories. YOU truly are an amazing person. Turning from an energy taker to an energy giver Give yourself a shake: Many energy takers can’t be bothered to do much with their lives. in turn the sunflower gives out it’s energy through vibrancy of colour and attracts bees and small animals who eat it’s stalk. These are people who complain about everything. with laughter etc. This can be small things like smiling at someone in the street. believe in yourself enough to make your journey amazing. and generally not nice people to be around. instead of feeding off everyone else’s energy.Energy givers are attracted to each other by an invisible pull. and that’s okay if you expect little in return. They might be funny. Life is a beautiful adventure. Stop complaining: There’s a time to complain and a way to do it. bitchy. There are also energy takers who are just very quiet and don’t contribute much to themselves and the people around them. volunteering a few hours a month. Grow yourself: We are all growing every single day. Give to others: Help in any way you can and give something back to your community. it truly is if only we could look at it that way. Even getting up and looking for another job instead of living on benefits is doing something positive. Energy takers Whilst a lot of us may not know a lot of energy givers most of us know energy takers. mentally. You just know an energy taker from the moment you talk to them. just the the heliotropic plant. are negative.
37 .you give to others without expectation you receive abundance without owing anything.
38 . Self Development. I don’t care if you’re trying to lose 20lbs. Without a plan. you have very little direction. I scanned the internet. and it will be almost impossible to be consistent. monthby-month? If you don’t. then you are planning to fail.Are You Planning to Fail Author: Mr Self Development This guest post was written by Mr.’ I read several books on weight-lifting. Self Development by subscribing to his blog at mrselfdevelopment. Self Development is a motivational author that offers a practical guide to success and wealth.’ in order to succeed. Without consistency you will never make any long-term progress.com a guest post from Mr Self Development from Do you have a written plan that details how you will succeed. Please support Mr.com. you will never experience success. and I talked with several individuals who were currently lifting weights. Mr. Editors Note: This is MrSelfDevelopment. become CEO. win a golf tournament. step-by-step. or start your own business. you’ll need a ’solid’ plan that you ‘believe in. Develop a Good Plan Sometime ago when I was looking to start a weight-lifting regiment. I decided to put together a weight-lifting ‘plan.
I also made some additional changes in my diet.] My plan included how long each workout would be. and you will succeed. when someone is passing out ‘free’ donuts? Are you willing to stick to your plan. ‘working the plan’ may mean practicing 10 hours a day. develop a plan this week. how bad do you want it. Your initial plan will almost always change. Remain Faithful to the Plan This is the most critical of all the steps. I developed a plan using the best advice from each of my sources and I placed that plan on the wall of my home gym. how can you expect to succeed? A good plan will challenge you. make adjustments as necessary.Based on my research. If you don’t faithfully work your plan everyday. it will demand the very best from you. this is not a problem (just make sure to have your ‘plan’ saved on your computer. Make Adjustments to the Plan Although I believe I put together a good weight-lifting plan initially. Three months into the plan. find the best ways to get the results you seek (study folks who have already succeeded). if you don’t have a plan. Work the Plan Of course. it wasn’t a perfect plan. Then begin to ‘work the plan’ daily. so I decided to work them less frequently. 39 . ‘consistency’ and ‘habit’ will take you further than your ‘desires’ ever will. as well as what time I would begin my workouts. you have to ‘work’ the plan.’ until it’s the perfect plan for you. you will remain faithful. In order for the ‘plan’ to work. when everyone else has gone home for the day? Are you willing to stick to your plan. If you’re trying to become a professional dancer. The ‘plan’ works.’ You must develop the habit of following the plan daily. Start with your research. it’s not enough to just have a plan. after you reach your goal? The question really becomes. it will stretch you. but the plan has to be ‘worked. I realized that I needed to make some adjustments: I was over-working my pectoral muscles. If you want it bad enough. stay faithful to the plan (in the face of challenges). In closing. when you ‘work’ the plan. ‘Tweak the plan. [A 'good plan' should always include your goals. so you can make quick updates and reprint as necessary). as well as specific daily direction to ensure you meet your goals. Are you willing to remain faithful to your plan when things get tough? Are you willing to stick to your plan.
If you are found out with one lie then the trust will dissappear and it will be hard to gain back. Honesty – This is high up on the list and is a must for guys. To be able to protect – According to the women I have spoken with they want to know their partner will be able to protect them physically in times of danger or trouble. If your partner asks you ‘Do you like my hair’ a response could be ‘I like it but I preferred it when it was longer. but are there universal qualities that women look for in their partners? Whilst I am not a woman I have worked with women most of my working life. I have two sisiters. When I say honest I mean being honest about everything. my current place of work is predominantly women and I am married to a woman who knows what she wants. 2. So I have done a lot of asking. 12 Qualities a woman looks for in a man (In no particular order) 1.’ When you are honest about everything you will get a reputation for being honest and you will get more respect and gain trust a lot quicker. That’s not to say women are weak it’s a security thing and knowing that their partner is capable or willing to protect them at all costs gives women a little more peace of mind. a lot of research and have come up with 12 qualities a woman looks for in a man.12 Qualities Women Want in Their Men Author: Steven Aitchison We all have good qualities and bad qualities. in a big call centre office (the truth really comes out in an office!). 40 .
You will never be respected once you’ve been unfaithful and there is absolutely no excuse for it. 6.3. Sense of humour – This one obviously depends on each couple as everybody has a different sense of humour but women like men who can make them laugh. so grow a pair and stand up for yourself and your wife. 41 . 8. 10. It’s not only respect for her but it’s respect for yourself as well. If you are not committed then there will always be that little doubt in the back of her mind asking if you are really serious about the relationship. 9. Attractiveness – This is something you are born with and it’s also something that is very subjective. 12. If she has an evening meal planned for you and you promised you’ll be home by 7 and you come strolling in at 8. upsets and excitement etc. just someone who has a sense of humour and exercises it often. Assertiveness – Woman can stand up for themselves very well but they still like a man to be assertive as well. Commitment – An absolute must for any long term relationship. That doesn’t mean to say you let them walk all over you it just means you are in touch with her. Faithful – Shouldn’t even have to be said here. Everyone has an attractive feature about them and rest assured someone will be attracted to you because of it. and you know how to handle the emotions. 5. That’s not to say you have to be like Robin Williams. but so many men think they can get away with being unfaithful and it not affect them. caring and love. Get up and go – Women don’t like men who have no motivation to do anything with their lives. if you disrespect her you may as well throw the relationship out of the window right now. Attuned to feelings – For the old fashioned man out there one of the main things you were missing was the ability to stay in tune with your partners feelings. 4. If you are attuned to your partner’s feelings then it shows respect. this is not being reliable. work is important but more important is the woman who loves you enough to prepare a meal and make an effort on a Friday night. If you let people walk all over you then you are not respecting yourself and this is a turn off for women. They want a man who has passion and has goals in life and has got the motivation to follow their dreams. 11. You’ve got to be reliable if you want your partner to stick with you for the long term. Respect – There’s no question of this. Belief – Believe in your wife/girlfriend and support and encourage her in everything she does. Yes. Reliability – This is another one high up on the list. 7. you’ll be dropped like a hot potato. However if you let yourself go and don’t really care about yourself. Women don’t like weak men.
I am thinking of a particular book that I love. anxieties. A lot of the time we keep this book on the very front shelf of our library and access it every single day when we re-live traumatic experiences. and memories from our past that still haunt us. They are like books stored in a library on the back shelf of our mind. Sometimes the pages of the book become distorted over time and sometimes the pages get ripped out altogether. Mentally put the memory in your book and get it stored on the back shelf only to opened on rare occasions. So it is with the books in our minds. Painful memories that are still raw i. It was written in the 1930’s but most of the principles still apply today and it is one I often refer to and have several copies lying about the house. Just like in a library there are books that are timeless and can be read again and again and never be outdated.The Books on The Back Shelf of Your Mind Author: Steven Aitchison We all have fears. a few years old need to be talked about in an open way. The book of memories The book of memories is a large book in which all our memories are stored and retrieved whenever required. and our beliefs. This is in no way 42 . worries. It might be time to rewrite the books that you have stored. However talking about the event 10 years on is counterproductive and it’s time to stop reading the book. and fears are stored in separate sections and we access the books in each of the sections everyday to help us deal with new experiences in our life. preferably with a trained counselor. rather cliched but I love it ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill. some will never be outdated but a lot of them are outdated and hold irrelevant information about our fears. Reliving past experiences is debilitating and can literally stunt our mental growth.e. Just like a library our thoughts.
This does not mean we don’t have values and principles it simply means we may not know what they are and have never voiced them in any way. if it’s something important to you then form a belief around it but have reasons for it. memories should be stored in the book as often as possible and I think it’s important to push yourself to get out. The experiences of the weekend were then spoken about with each other and I went along with the crowd at first and after a few times it didn’t sit right with me. I honestly do and I have taken a lot of stick for this viewpoint. From then on I always kept my experiences with the girls to myself as I didn’t feel it was right to discuss intimate details with everyone. I questioned my belief about privacy and respect and made a new belief to respect myself and anybody I was involved with. Yes. have a drink. but is it really a bad place to live? we have to question the media’s motives for printing stories of people who murder others. To question your own beliefs it’s important to question others beliefs as well and then make your own decisions and find out where you stand on certain topics. reliving your past everyday will only halt your mental growth and you will be stuck for as long as you keep reliving old events. I believe the media can help to fuel a murderers motivation to kill. therefore leading us to believe the world is a bad place to live. How do we do this? As you walk along the path of life you will come across experiences that don’t quite sit right with you and this can be a time to question and reposition your beliefs. The book of beliefs Beliefs shape our lives and make us the person we are today and it’s important to revisit our beliefs regularly and keep them up to date. The Book of values and principles This is the book that we access everyday and some people don’t even have this book in their minds. meet new people. For example when I was younger I used to go out with a group of friends every weekend (that was when the weekend started on a Thursday night) and our main goal was to have a good time. New. puish beyond your comfort zone or get back in touch with family and good friends to start depositing happier memories in your book. You start by asking the question: What are my beliefs about this subject? if you don’t really have a belief and it’s not important then leave it. Having values and principles helps us to focus on the person we want to be and the person we would like to become. Question everything and look at your beliefs about everything. I always took a lot of heat for that but I stuck to my guns. that was my mentality when I was younger). simply because it sells just like the thousands of books about crime they are bestsellers. Most people believe it is not right to kill another human being that is why we can live in relative peace and harmony.discounting the traumatic event you are simply saying to yourself ‘It’s time to move on’. Over the last few years my wife and I have 43 . and try and pick up a woman (Sorry. more happier. it’s true there are a lot of people out there who kill but they are few and far between and the media sensationalize the people who do.
atrophied. This is not the case at all. The book of knowledge should be updated everyday. It contains your sense of humour. open and fresh to new ideas. This really is the information age we are living in and the human brain is literally evolving into being able to store more information and in a more efficient way. You will find that living this way has a tremendous impact on your life. A lot of children go through this and they are basically pushing the boundaries to find out what they can get away with and that’s part of growing up. If you actively seek to learn new information whether it be on the computer or going back to college or university then do it if you can. Imagine our parents having to learn everything we have learned in our lifetime it just wouldn’t have happened however because our children are used to the amount of information they have to learn they don’t know any different so they get on with learning and their belief is that they can learn new things simply because they have to. computer or xbox for the day. about big things and silly little things.e. was always the best way. To help you choose values you can look at the list below. he may have still got into trouble but far less trouble than he would have if he had persisted with a lie. once we stop seeking to learn new things our brains become. To teach him this value he would always be given a punishment for lying e. and some of them you will already be living you just might need to solidify them. At a young age he was prone to lying. We would also reward him for telling the truth and thanked him for his honesty. Pick the values you would like to have in your life and try and live by those values. Spend a little time reading the book of you i. it contains the very soul of you. everything I have written about above and all the little quirks and personality traits. it will keep your mind young. Over the last few years he has learned that lying does not help and that telling the truth. The book of you ‘The book of you’ essentially contains everything that makes you YOU. spend a little time alone to get back in touch with yourself and keep being you and keep being as authentic as possible. However we know our son very well and always knew when he was lying. your preferences about life. or rather they stop actively looking to learn new things and form a belief that once you get past a certain age your brain can’t handle new information. The book of knowledge This book stores everything you have learned over your lifetime and like the book of beliefs you use it everyday as a way of gaining more knowledge and learning from new experiences.taught our youngest son the value and principle of honesty. The trouble sometimes some people have is that they stop learning after coming out of school or university.g. 44 . no matter the consequences. the more we use our brains to learn the healthier it will become. metaphorically. Decide on a few values at a time. no TV.
37 Ways to communicate better with your children
Author: Steven Aitchison How often have you asked your kids ‘How was school today?’ and the reply was ‘it was okay!’ and that’s it. My youngest son just started high school today and my wife and I have been nervous and anxious for him, although we’ve been careful not to show him this. I took a day off work so I could spend a little longer with him when dropping him off for school and then to pick him up again. It was heartbreaking to watch him go into school, ‘He’s all grown up.’ I thought with a little lump in my throat, It’s like time is slipping by and before we know it he’ll be a grown man. Well, when I went to pick him up, I was all excited and asked: ‘Well, how did it go?’ ‘It was okay’ he said smiling, knowing I wanted to hear all about it. I eventually got some blood from the stone and he told me about it in dribs and drabs, however he seemed to enjoy it and has made a few friends already which is always good. My other son, who is in his 3rd year at high school is exactly the same and sometimes I can’t even get blood from that stone. I advised them that we have spent weeks worrying and feeling anxious for them and all we ask in return is a little information about their day at school. So I advise them to give a little more and not have my wife beat the hell out of them just to get a little info. My wife duly comes home, practically running in to see how they got on at school and thankfully they were a little more open.
I guess it’s just boys being boys, I remember being exactly the same and always wondered why my mum was so interested in my school activities. My niece, on the other hand, talks at 100 miles per hour and talks for hours. here’s a few tips I have learned over the years about communicating with children: 37 Ways to communicate better with your children 1. Always be interested in their day, even if they don’t want to tell you anything. 2. Pay attention to them and make them feel as if they are the only person in the room when they speak to you. 3. Make time to sit down with them in a relaxed manner to allow them to open up more. 4. Sit down for family meals (One of the best decisions we made was to always make it a rule to all sit round the dinner table together). 5. Keep eye contact to show you are listening. 6. Don’t dismiss the little things they tell you about. 7. Keep close to them when they are talking, don’t have a conversation whilst you are in the kitchen and they are in their room. 8. Show them you love them and always tell them you love them. 9. Tell them you believe in them often. 10. Children are not your friends and letting them off with the small things could lead to bigger problems in the future. 11. Always listen to their side of the story if there are any arguments or rows going on. 12. Praise them with every single thing they do well. 13. Be as open and honest as possible with them about EVERYTHING. 46
14. If you have more than 1 child make time so you can spend time alone together, even if it’s driving to the shops.
15. Read between the lines. Kids have a way of telling you something without directly telling you. 16. Don’t interrupt children when they are trying to tell you something. 17. Ask their opinion on something that’s important to you and them. 18. Tell them about your day and encourage discussion. 19. Give them a hug at least 200 times per day 20. Always say please and thank you when speaking to your kids, they will develop manners this way. 21. Encourage them to voice their opinion on the big family decisions, like buying a house, a car etc. 22. Tell them stories of when you were younger, kids always want to hear this. 23. Play games with them as much as possible. 24. Step into their world for a bit and get to learn what they like. 25. Become a child for a day and just have a toy fight, pillow fight, wrestle, and do the silly things that kids do. 26. Respect their privacy, always knock. 27. Give them unexpected presents.
35. be proud of them .even when they didn’t quite make but tried their best. 37. 34.28.Take them to where you grew up and tell them about it. Forgive them as they forgive you. Just hold them. Let them find their own hobbies and encourage them in finding them. Just love them for the little individuals they are. 36. they’ll grow a lot quicker. Stand back to let them them make their own mistakes. just love them! 48 . 31. that little bit longer than you normally would. 32. Let them have their own style and find it themselves. Let let go up the down escalator 29. 30. 33. Don’t make them wear a jacket if they don’t want to even when it’s raining.
By looking at and developing each value and principle you can start to strengthen each one.9 Ways to debug your mind Author: Steven Aitchison Just like your computer your mind gets cluttered up with unnecessary or outdated code which makes it run slower or even ruins a few pieces of software and eventually causes your computer to shut down. 49 . Here are a few suggestions to debug your mind of those little bugs that make your life less than perfect. only there is no debugging manual for the mind. You might now know all your values and principles but you certainly know some of them. Unless you know the operating system you can’t buy software for your computer and if you do chances are it will malfunction or not work at all. so that is one of the values you live by – I shall not steal from someone else. So it is with the mind. For example would you ever steal from someone. Knowing your mind is knowing what values and principles you live by. more than likely you wouldn’t. What about honesty? what about being authentic? What about having compassion for others? What about working hard? These are all values and principles you live your life by. 9 Ways to debug your mind 1. Know your own mind – Know your operating system Not knowing your own mind is like not knowing what operating system your computer uses.
If your habit is to exercise only after you have noticed you are piling on the pounds and then stop exercising. Your habits need to be constantly upgraded and new ones introduced over time. Sometimes you just have to shut the world out for a bit and take time for yourself and do something you enjoy. The time we spend alone is time recharging our batteries. you know they are there but you might have not made the best use of them. why? Acknowledge that something bad has happened to you and whilst you might never be able to delete the memory you can choose when to access the memory. Shut everything down and take time for yourself. anything just to be yourself. Work on your beliefs – Learn the software Are some of your beliefs outdated? Your beliefs about yourself and the world around you are constantly being updated but you can speed the process up and enjoy a fuller. and friends. It’s like having old files on your computer. and chat software Our lives have become so busy with 1001 things to do for our kids. For example I have photoshop on my computer but I really only use it for cropping. walking. don’t tell anybody. Take time for yourself – Shutdown your emails. richer life by knowing what your beliefs are and strengthening them to move you forward. So it is with beliefs – I believe I am a decent writer but I have never pushed myself to put my writing out there and work on it more and begin to polish it and find my own voice. send the kids to school and spend the day reading.2. our partners. For example I am now quite a confident person but beliefs from my past try and muscle their way in to my current belief. 3. our families. our work. It’s like every time you go on the computer and there are people sending you emails. sending you tweets. skype. that will never do you or the computer any good but you choose to go into the folder and open the files up every day. and touching up photos. Just like your computer if you use the same software without upgrading it you will be missing out on the true potential of the software. harder to do. Take a day off work. Some people spend a lifetime in therapy trying to understand why something happened from their childhood. when there is so much more I could do with photoshop if I only took the time to learn more about it. browsing shops. Dropping past memories – Deleting old files Memories you have which can be harmful to your well being are best dropped altogether. it’s now time to let go of the old belief and live the new belief. Your beliefs are like the software you have on your computer. If the memories are still raw. wanting to googletalk or talk to you on skype. 4. 5. then that is a different story but if the memories are years old then it’s time to hit DELETE. in an art gallery. then it’s time to look at this habit and rework it so it suits you better and saves you the anguish and pain of piling on the pounds. 50 . There are also some beliefs that no longer serve me well so I should drop them. It’s time for the delete button. Learn new habits – Upgrade your software Our habits can also become outdated and if we do the same as we have always done we will always get the same results. Easy to say.
Our minds need to keep active and constantly learning new information in order to keep on working in later life. we have developed thinking strategies over the course of our lives. 7. Change the user permissions on the computer and lock them out. it’s time to say goodbye to them.4 is so much more powerful.6. I think this is a great 51 . 8. is some form of meditation. The 40 minutes spent on meditating will free up at least 1 hour of your time during the day by recharging your mind and being able to think more clearer. it could be pity. So if you look at it from the point of view that you are saving at least 20 minutes per day instead of losing 40 minutes per day this might change your mind about meditation.8. Another thing I would recommend is reading about philosophical issues. productivity and creativity. but you still keep in touch for some reason. now there is so much more Wordpress can do and the current version on 2. As computer languages have evolved programmers have written software with the ability to predict what may happen and ‘if’ something happens what to do about it. Using cognitive brain enhancing programs are one way to develop thinking skills as is reading more on the topic. If we constantly learn new things about our world and the people in it the world and life will not seem dull. We become bored and settle for a less than perfect life. Imagine if you were to keep using the Wordpress software which came out all those years ago. it could be guilt or misplaced loyalty. Developing thinking skills – What language is your computer using? Your computer software is only as good as the language it is written in. It’s important to look at thinking as a skill in order to develop it. your blogs or websites wouldn’t be all that exciting. I find. Whatever it is. more more productive and have more energy. whilst we were not taught thinking skills formally. it’s called life and you will both feel better for it. When I have mentioned this in the past some people object stating that they cannot get 40 minutes to spend on meditating. 9. Our thinking skills are vital to be able to communicate with each other to get our thoughts across to someone else. Imagine if all software was still written in an old computer language how far would computing have evolved – not very far at all. are not as committed as you. are negative. you’ve moved on perhaps they have to. Recharge your mind – Putting your computer on sleep mode We are living in an age of information overload and as we learn to adapt and evolve to this we have to find a way to recharge our minds. 20 – 40 minutes per day will do wonders for your energy. One of the best ways of doings this. which is way to big to go into in a post this size. They will move on and you will move on. Keep your mind active – Learn new software Our minds can become dull with the drudgery of life and going over the same things day in day out. Dropping the deadwood – Delete user permissions As hard as it sounds there are some people in our lives who do not belong in our lives anymore. if there are people in your life who drag you down.
exercise to develop thinking skills and can lead you to places in your mind you didn’t know existed. 52 .
while obstacles are things standing in our way that must be removed. According to the elook online dictionary ‘progress means the gradual improvement. Editors Note: This is a guest post from Ayo Olaniyan from Discovering Purpose I am starting a series this month titled 6 obstacles.discoveringpurpose. circumvented or surmounted. it's about creating a purpose driven life through personal development.uk. 6 reasons why you should get a life. 6 things you should know about yourself. an accredited professional counsellor with the Counselling Society and the author of Expanding Your Horizons. quit your job. It’s also the act of moving forward toward a desired goal. fall in love… I am hoping to target areas such as 6 obstacles threatening your progress. Remember.6 Obstacles Progress. He is a member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council. 6 reasons why you should be happy and 6 reasons why you should go to the toilet (laugh).co. growth or development in a positive way.uk or send an email to ayo@discoveringpurpose. 6 things and 6 reasons. please visit www.co. If you would like to enquire about personal and professional one-to-one coaching sessions. Threatening Your Author: Ayo Olaniyan Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive™ Life Coach and Counsellor.’ 53 . Several bloggers have written on various topics such as 10 reasons why you should blog.
What are these obstacles? The Claim to Know Everything: This relates to people who think they know it all and refuse to accept advice or information that would enhance their productivity. motivation and commitment. skills. I agree with you but I am sure there’s another way…. I was going to do that. We desire to experience or make changes in various aspects of our lives but it requires drive. We associate change with anxiety and nervousness. attaining a high level of personal growth/development requires a constant repetition of successful behaviours. hearts. you can. Developing the qualities we desire. business. We get better and excel in certain projects by being consistent in our 54 . eating habits. behaviour. level of reasoning are completely closed to new ideas or suggestions BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT READY OR WILLING TO BE TAUGHT. We are afraid to make changes for the following reasons: • • • • • We don’t want to be pushed out of our comfort zone into the unknown We lack the desire to experience change. Inconsistency: In order to attain the desired level of progress we have pictured. the list is endless. Those who claim to know everything make statements such as ‘I knew that already. Their minds. Think of the worst case scenarios which could occur and find alternative solutions to them. with families…. we need constant practice. It’s wonderful to have great ideas.t. it might be useful to think on the following tips: • • • Think on the positive impacts that would be achieved from experiencing change Picture someone else in your shoes knowing if they handled change positively. but I would do my best to summarize it. When we get to a crossroad and we sincerely want to make a change. programs etc we’ve implemented to see such results. think positively e.We often want to make progress in our jobs. personal development. pictures of the future. from anyone. It’s a transformation or transition from one level of development to another.’ the focus here is to be open to ‘constructive contributions’. imagined or is striving towards. We’ve become conditioned due to an emotional/physical trauma we’ve experienced in the past. you should be open to suggestions before disregarding any which may not be suitable for you.c but we must realise that there are subtle obstacles that stand in the way of our progress. In a positive context. finances. exercising. We feel we may lose our rights as individuals and possibly get exploited. change is the process or result of becoming different.. The Fear of Change: This is a topic in its own right. If you want to increase your chances of being successful or making a change for the better. Of course we need to strike a balance before everyone starts listening to time wasters offering ‘random suggestions.
it’s compulsory we build them on a daily basis. The list grows!!!! STOP IT TODAY!!!! REALISE OUR LIVES ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITIES. We are afraid to take actions for the following reasons: • • • • We lack self confidence. wishing you never went down certain routes. As you make progress there would come a time where the mind is unsettled and uncertain of the future. made certain judgements. There’s a tendency to make bad decisions or judgements based on negative information fed into your mind. Dealing with negative thoughts when faced with stiff opposition requires perseverance. We are afraid of failing. I would have succeeded if only my ….. To stay on top of your game. Sometimes our egos have a way of interfering with us taking responsibilities for certain actions and our only way out.actions. I’ve actually heard that). do not expect everything to take a turn for progress overnight. supported me. For us to be effective and yield results in our daily lives. made decisions etc. In order to develop good habits. Footballers go through rigorous amounts of training before any game and a player found unfit on the training field or during the game is sidelined to the bench. you’ve GOT TO SHOW SOME OPTIMISM. I would have passed my exams if you didn’t…….. If we want to excel in any phase of our lives we need to be willing TO DO things differently. I have got three words for you: JUST DO IT Negative Thinking: We would always experience tough challenges in life and the easiest obstacle that confronts us is getting drowned in negative thoughts and pessimism. hardworking and persistent in your quest for attaining progress. believing those steps may not turn out to be successful. The Blame Game: There’s a tendency to always trade blames on anything and everyone. I would have been rich if I didn’t get married to you(laugh. is to blame others. **Remember DOING NOTHING. It’s common to hear statements such as. we must make an effort to follow certain procedures. These obstacles will be crossed as long as you remain diligent. ‘Just Do It’.. We are filled with negative thoughts. We don’t want to get embarrassed. constant positive thoughts – looking at alternative solutions/suggestions to dealing with the present situation. On a final note. Failing to take action: In the last 5-6years I have fallen in love with Nikes slogan. methods and character. We mustn’t be comfortable in acquiring knowledge only but also take that step to practice what we’ve learnt. IS NOT DOING ANYTHING. 55 .
I have written a guest post for Lifehack. What has given me the drive? There are 3 things that are driving this passion right now 56 . sent off an article as a freelancer.000 subscribers by the end of the year. That was around 15 days ago and I still don’t know how I am going to reach that figure. Now that I have caught that thought I put even more effort in. set up a facebook profile. it’s a hunger from the minute I wake up.000 words in posts. produced two videos. which may or may not work. and joined a forum for A-ListBloggers. As soon as I started thinking that my passion for the blog and writing diminished a little. When I see that I have only added around 100 subscribers in two weeks I was starting to think ‘I think I might have made a bit of a fool of myself by stating my goal of 10. I honestly don’t know how I can do this I just feel it. My thoughts are all on writing just now and reaching that goal. I have added new features to this blog. Zenhabits and DumbLittleMan (2 have not been published yet). My thoughts are now firmly on writing and over the last two weeks I have written over 10. I have banished the Google ads and have just bought the Thesis theme to make the blog more simple in style (don’t know when that will be ready as I am still working on it). that would be a great post’ and I get it down on paper before I forget it.org. tweeted my little beak off. a youtube channel. It’s a very tall order but one I feel I will reach. even when I am at work I am thinking ‘oh.5 Ways to inject some passion into your goals Author: Steven Aitchison Recently I wrote an article describing my goal to reach 10.000 subscribers’.
Reach out Reach out to other people who can help you reach your goals even your competition. 57 . A passion for writing 3. Do this especially when you are feeling a bit down and things aren’t going quite the way you planned. It’s like ‘I want to write the best post ever. if they say no. I want to write it now and I want to find a way to write in my sleep. Small goals can be a one man show. If you see someone you are competing with and they are doing well.000 subscribers) 5 ways to inject some passion into your goals Have a goal in mind You can’t have passion in your life if you don’t have a goal or goals. big goals need an audience. break it down into little pieces and emulate each piece. Small changes 100 incremental changes can make a huge difference on your goal whereas 1 big change might not make that much of a difference. There are always people who are willing to help you if they feel your passion and hunger so ask other people to help you. look at what they are doing. The avoidance of pain (being made to look stupid if I don’t reach my goal of 10. So if you have friends and family who are willing to listen speak about your goals or join a forum who have people with similar goals to yours. then move on to someone else who can help but always make it a win-win so you both gain out of the partnership. every single time. throw away the bits that don’t and keep improving bit by bit. It’s a hunger. Try and make your goal measurable so you’ll know that you’ve reached your goal at the end of all your hard work. Obsess about it I can’t believe how obsessed I have become about writing over the last two weeks.’ Think about your goal often and every single day. get some guest writers for CYT and write a little more for the blog’ It’s nothing like that. You find out what works for you. A big hairy measurable goal 2. At first i thought ‘I’ll write a few guest posts. a drive you need to reach that goal no matter what. Speak about it I have spoken to my wife about my goals for the next five months and she has asked some great questions one of them being ‘What are you going to get out of it?’ honestly I don’t know I just know I have to do it.1. Have a picture in your mind of you reaching your goal and the rewards it will bring.
What are your goals? What are your goals right now and how are you injecting passion into them? Why not share your thoughts with the readers and help them out. 58 .
To be human is to live to our highest potential. the state of excelling. nothing more satisfying than looking back at who you are now and realizing that you have grown much more than you thought you could. after being pit against hundreds of applicants and evaluated in multiple rounds of tests and interviews. Excellence is one of my top values in life and is something which I hold myself towards ever since I was a kid. to be the best that we can be and to shake and move the world. I firmly believe that all of us are here to achieve greatness. Even as I ultimately chose to quit my corporate job last year. I’m someone who endlessly strives for excellence. chances are you are . In my career. When I was in school. 101 Most Inspiring Quotes of All Time and Cultivate Good Habits in 21 Days. Today. Editors Note: This is a guest post from Celestine Chua of The Personal Excellence Blog Excellence – noun. Like you.5 Ways Excellence To Achieve Personal Author: Celestine Chua Celestine Chua chose her passion when she left her high paying Fortune 100 career in 2008 to help others grow. superiority. Some of her most popular articles to date: 50 Ways to Boost Your Productivity. I was constantly striving for the best. it was a 59 . eminence: Are you someone who strives for excellence? If you are reading this post. I secured placement in the best company in the world for marketers. Personally. she writes at her popular The Personal Excellence Blog and gives coaching to others who are passionate about achieving personal excellence. I graduated from my business school as the top student in my major (I was in marketing). There is nothing more satisfying than overcoming a challenge that was previously deemed insurmountable.
For example. when can you start investing the time? If you have. He firmly believed that he would be able to make it as an actor – not just an actor. At some point. he is an internationally acclaimed movie star. If you don’t believe in yourself. One of my favorite stories is Sylvester Stallone’s real-life rags to riches story. he was living out what others would deem as a ‘paltry’ existence as a wannabe actor. Because of his birth complication where he was born with a side of his face paralyzed and a slurred speech. In my years of pursuit of personal excellence. It’s said that it takes someone 10. if you 60 . And he finally did – today. Know that there is no one else but you who can attain what you want to do. When you stay in an area of comfort. Think about the skills which you possess at the moment as well as skills which you would like to have. On the other hand. you are already growing by default. he was rejected by countless casting agents in his quest for his dreams. and even his wife left him. “What the mind can conceive. Have you invested your 10.000 hours? No matter how much time and effort we have already spent in developing ourselves. but have yet to acquire. But he never gave up. producer and screenwriter. you subject yourself to things you have become accustomed to – which leads to little or no growth. he became poor as a pauper. but a movie star. there will always be opportunity to improve and be better. This would never have happened if he gave up his self-belief.decision made to wholly pursue my passion in personal development and helping others to achieve personal excellence. As Napoleon Hill puts it.000 hours to develop your skills? If you haven’t. how do you expect anyone else to believe in you? If you want to achieve greatness. film director.000 hours of practice to reach the top in his/her discipline. how can you invest another 10. it can achieve”. 2) Keep Building Your Skills The path to excellence is a continual one which requires constant upgrading and skills development. How about yours? 3) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone When you are out of your comfort zone. I have found 5 timeless steps in ensuing my own growth which I’d love to share with you here and I hope will be useful to you: 1) Believe in Yourself Self belief is the utmost important step. you have to first believe that you are capable of doing it. some of the skills which I target to build for the upcoming few months are (1) Writing (2) Public Speaking (3) Productivity (4) Discipline (5) Organizational Skills (6) Badminton. Before he was propelled to stardom with the Rocky series. Comfort zones are called comfort zones because it’s where you feel safe and comfortable.
or even possibly the world as you move forward on your endeavors. the more it means you are growing. even by a little bit. you can be connected with them by virtue of exposing yourself to outputs of their work – books. 4) Be Around the Best. soar. If you have a goal to be a chef with your very own restaurant. sets themselves up to achieve nothing but the best. because the outcomes don’t define who you are – Who you are define who you are. Cut yourself loose from people who don’t support you and increase your contact with the people who do. the most important thing to realize is you have grown a lot more than if you set puny goals and achieved them. you are going to emerge a different person compared to if you hang around people who are jaded and are constantly lamenting about life. etc. Above all. Even if you don’t eventually get to nail them in the bag. If you hang around people who are committed to excellence. interviews. which I feel sums this up – “You are the average of the five people you are around“. I love this quote from Jim Rohn. you start facing things which you are not exposed to before. Be focused on the amount of growth you get and don’t be attached to the specific outcomes. shows.move beyond that area of comfort. Not the normal. We’re talking about the humongous goals which make you feel somewhat nervous and uncomfortable on whether it’s possible to even attain them. Who you are with has a role in affecting who you become. Even if it’s not possible to be personal friends. This means growth. connect yourself with the best – the cream of the crop. These are the goals which will really make you stretch yourself. 5) Set Huge Goals. Emphasis on the word huge. What are your comfort zones when it comes to your work? Environment? Diet? Daily routines? Places you go to? Clothes you wear? People you hang out with? Your goals? How can you change them around just to experience something different? How can you push yourself to an uncomfortable zone so you can grow? The more uncomfortable you feel about something. standard goals which you know you will definitely be achieving with a certain amount of work and effort. and then beam with an incredible lot of satisfaction when you do achieve them. You will find yourself improving by leaps and bounds just from framing yourself together with them. start linking up with the top chefs of your country. 61 . This new context and new stimuli triggers off a reprocessing process in your mind as you adapt to handle them.
when I bought the new ones with the days of the week. they’re my socks!’ moments and me chasing my sons around the house to get my socks off (inevitably they would hide and then pounce on me when I found them and beat the living socks out of me!). You see in our house I have my own sock drawer but apparantly my wife and two boys seemed to think it was a communal sock drawer and they were forever stealing my socks. in our house we never had a matching pair of socks. Now. So. I gave up and now we all share the same socks. seemingly. It was the socks that had different colours on the toes and heals but these ones also had the day of the week on the arch. 62 . However chasing my wife around the house was a differnt story.Wear your red socks Author: Steven Aitchison Might seem a strange title for a blog post. my thoughts were ‘it will be difficult to lose socks that had matching colours and days of the week on them’ so there should be no problem finding a matching pair after they had been washed. it seemed the sock devil would come in the night and discard a few socks which meant we never got to wear matching socks and it was messing with my mind. So when we were out shopping for some things for the house. I noticed a 7 pair pack of socks and picked them up. Last year it was time to get a few new pairs of socks as the trusty old black ones were fast becoming grey. insignificant to change the way you feel. I wanted to talk about how little things can change your mindset and how you can learn to change something. After a few ‘hey.
my youngest son thought it would be quite quirky to wear unmatching ones. It then became a little family joke. 63 . it was the weekend and I felt great. free time and time with my family. The power of association This is the power of association in action and shows we can give power to anything to make us feel better. I know a lot of women in particular wear certain clothes depending on the way they feel. I was trying hard to keep it together and match them all up as soon as they came out the washing. I would wear my Monday ones on Monday. After a few months of this and a few more sock packs I started wearing my Saturday ones on a tTursday and when I felt really adventurous I wore them on a Wednesday. my wife didn’t wear them as she didn’t really like them. And guys. remember the times when you used to go out scouting for girls saying ‘I feel lucky tonight I’ve got my lucky boxer shorts on…’ or ‘my lucky shirt on’. me eldest son was experimenting on the hypothesis that socks may actually be able to start walking themselves if he wore them long enough. my tuesday ones on tuesday etc. I noticed that I felt better after slipping on those red Saturday socks no matter what day of the week it was because I had associated them with the weekend.Family quirkiness Here’s what happened. When Saturday came around it was a great feeling just rolling my Saturday socks on. whenever we felt a little down or stressed just ‘Put the red socks on’.
I received numerous replies but Leo wrote back with a few home truths and basically said I need to write more guest posts. boy I wished I had listened. At the time ZenHabits has a few hundred subscribers and I had about 1200. but I have been saying this for 2 years now 64 . roughly 100 subscribers per month. only recently. Now.The power of Focus Author: Steven Aitchison For the last few years I have been writing for CYT and building a small business creating binaural beats and working on lots of other little projects. he started blogging in 2007 and now has 120. I remember a conversation Leo and I had a few years ago whilst part of a personal development network. I realize I have been doing this with my blog. implement the idea and then work on it now and again. Focus on your main tasks It all comes down to focusing on the things we really want. that I am still un-focused when it comes to my internet life. write more for the blog and a few other things. Once I get an idea in my head I chase it. FOCUS. a publishing deal and writes for numerous blogs and I ask myself what’s the difference between me and Leo?. I want to give up my full time job to do my internet work at home. I have come to realize.000 subscribers 2 successful ebooks. I asked how I could improve my blog and make it better. I have been writing for 3 years in August and have managed to get 3500 subscribers to CYT. some people might think that is good but it’s really quite bad. I look at my contemporaries like Leo Babauta.
They are.and bringing in an extra $1500 per month is not enough for me to give up my full time job. so instead of getting 100 subscribers per month I need to get 1300 subscribers per month. And I know I will do this by focusing my attention more on the blog. That’s 6. a new post will be posted every single day by either myself or a guest poster and new features will be added to the blog such as. 65 . Decision time For the past few weeks I have been looking at my internet life and getting rid of all the projects I have started and cut them down to three main projects.500 subscribers in 5 months. Admittedly when I first started I wasn’t bringing in anything and an extra $1500 per month is great but it’s not enough. Book review section – This will review books by personal development bloggers out there and there are some great ones on the way ‘Sunday Siesta’ – This has already started and is a great feature on this blog. I have a plethora of ideas buzzing around my head at any one time and all of them would help me reach my goal of working full time from home. I have cut all the ideas down to 3 projects and focus solely on them. A few months ago I implemented the ideas and just did it. no icons at the bottom of the screen it’s just you. I actually had 17 small projects on the go (and I wonder why I was buzzing all the time). Now. I will also start guest posting for other bigger blogs out there to get my name known again. How will I achieve this? By writing quality content every day for the blog. Binaural-Mind site and my Lucid Dreaming project. a black screen and green text and I have to say it’s amazing for keeping my concentration focused on my writing. A bold statement By December 31st 2009 I will have 10. My Blog. This is a tool for writers is basically it’s a black screen and all you can do is write as there are no distractions. you can sort of see the evolution of my focus here and now it’s getting down to the nitty gritty of focusing. This is a great achievement for me. however I have not focused long enough on any of the ideas to reach my goal. So. A few years ago I would have all these ideas and do nothing about them except for analyse them and give reasons why it wouldn’t work.000 subscribers That’s not a pie in the sky statement and dream I have this is a goal I will achieve by the end of the year. • • • • ‘Ask the coach’ – A joint project with Ayo Olaniyan ‘5 minute fix’ – A video section of the blog offering 5 minute personal development tips. a 1200% increase on my current monthly subscriber rate. I have also started using a tool called DarkRoom.
I’m always looking for guest authors and I have a few lined up already which is great. In return I will always give you quality advice and help when I can. You could tweet.How you can help me out Well. Look out 10k here I come 66 . stumble and delicious my posts.
find a way to recreate. If that were the case. inspired to achieve more. You may have thought that it wasn’t really that difficult to achieve success or maybe it was the hardest thing you did. you will keep striving for it and no one. Life is about recreating yourself. not even you. enjoying in the feeling of accomplishment. rather than fold. otherwise. evaluate and then refine. You may think that you don’t know enough to be successful. always. If you have been striving for success in an area of your life. Tip #3: Create. Tip #4: Success can be for anyone. they really haven’t achieved success. will convince you otherwise. Everyone Would do it Success is a favorable or desirable outcome. If you focus on the end result as you defined success.” Reminisce the feeling associated with your success achievement. Success takes work.If success was easy everyone would do it Author: Francesca Kotomski Driven with my desire to do and see all that the world has to offer. Here are some tips to create success in your life: Tip #1: Enjoy and celebrate each moment on the way to success. you might have lost sight of the end goal. You must have been very happy. wealth or other. If something doesn’t work.com. and are not reaching success. as defined Webster’s Dictionary. Troubleshoot or recreating is very similar. If Success was Easy. In fact. or maybe you think that you don’t deserve your goal in the first place. achieving a “desirable outcome. but it is definitely not an easy thing to accomplish. You create. Keep up this pattern. Tip #2: Keep the end in mind. and 67 . too much work. and desired to repeat your success. Get out of your head that the successful are gifted or that they were handed their success on a silver platter. Success is a feeling and can be created and recreated again and again. and recreate. Maybe someone convinced you that you can’t do what you set out to do and you folded and listened to them. Visit Francesca’s online biz here WebSimpleMoney. As you reach for your next goal.com as well as her blog GrowAbundantLife. rewarding yourself every small step of the way. focus on progress only. everyone would do what it takes for success. evaluate. perseverance. the attainment of wealth or favor. most people have achieved a level of success in some part of their lives. You might have given up because it was too hard. with rewards for each step of the way on your path to success. Success is different for everyone. Each daily accomplishment is a small success story on the way to the bigger success story. Success doesn’t have to be associated with wealth attainment.
focus on your end result and you will enjoy success! 68 .determination. It doesn’t matter your education. Visualize your goal. Be positive and remain on the path to success! When you see “If Success was Easy. height. and you will be even closer. You will remain on the path and you will achieve your success. It can be for anyone that wants it bad enough. and you will achieve your goal. Follow every tip given here. Everyone Would do it.” you may think that it’s too hard to achieve and you might just give up. knowledge or other factors. Know that you can. Tip #5: Success is all about mindset.
the world is a dark place etc etc. The answers were quite surprising to me. what a revelation (sarcastic tone there) . my mentors. However. how is this relevant? Well.One lesson and six billion teachers Author: Steven Aitchison Recently I have been looking at the way I interact with people. my clients. What am I teaching them about themselves? If someone who has a dark outlook on life is talking to me and I am giving them vibes that I don’t like talking to them this is going to re-enforce their belief about themselves that nobody likes them. my work colleagues. particularly anybody who is energy draining. 69 . I do counselling work for a living and being intolerant of certain types of people is not a good thing and that will come across to the person who is talking to me. However I have noticed that I am also quite impatient with certain types of people. I recently had a chance to talk to someone like this in depth and had to hold it together long enough to ask myself ‘what is this person teaching me about myself?’ and the next question is ‘What am I teaching them about themselves?’. What is this person teaching me about myself? I am intolerant of negative people – wow!. I am a great listener and that comes across when someone is speaking to me and I suppose that’s a good thing if you are doing counselling of any kind. recently I thought about what people like this have to teach me.it infuriates me to be around people like this and usually I avoid them like the plague. you know the type of people who think everything is a hassle and the whole world is against them and nothing ever goes right for them . my wife and my children.
to teach me tolerance and I had to remind myself of that. What is someone trying to teach you? 70 .What I did to change I looked at the person in a different light. That person was there to teach me patience. obviously there were still dark moments but he was much more able to cope with them. It’s those moments that make us grow as people and we can’t change overnight but we can have lots of a-ha moments which help to shape our lives. He didn’t really think he had a dark outlook on life and it was a bit of a revelation to him as well. The next few sessions revealed that he had changed the way he looked at life and constantly asked himself what he would do if he was a positive person. I was there to ask him a simple question ‘Why is your world so dark?’ This is exactly the question I asked him and he was taken aback when I asked that. We spoke about it for a while and by asking that simple question he was able to change almost instantly as his perception of his world had changed. Everyone is a teacher This was a great lesson for me and it’s one of those moments that changed a certain aspect of me for a lifetime.
which is what Abraham Maslow speaks about in his ‘hierarchy of needs’ theory. especially wealth. Is money the root of all evil? We have been programmed to believe that the pursuit of money is bad and it’s not good for the soul. James Dyson. This is not greed it’s a desire to reach their potential. However when reading their biographies. giving knowledge and time to the younger generation. Greed is defined in the ‘New Oxford English Dictionary’ as: ‘Intense and selfish desire for something. settings up schools.’ If your goal is to create more money into your life simply for your own selfish 71 . power or food. We’ll speak about four steps to creating more money in your life a bit later but for now I’d like to speak about the difference between greed and making more money.The energy of money and how to make more of it Author: Steven Aitchison The pursuit of making more money has an energy to it. I am thinking of people like Richard Branson. that and Santa Claus (I was gutted when I was told that Santa was a lie and I was 23 imagine how children feel!) You’ve more than likely heard these sayings in your life: • • • • • • ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees you know’ ‘We can’t afford it’ ‘Money can’t buy you happiness’ ‘The rich get richer and the poor get poorer’ ‘To make more money you have to work harder’ ‘Money is the root of all evil’ Until you rid yourself of the guilt of trying to better yourself financially you can’t begin to create more money into your life. watching and listening to them on interviews it is clear their goal is not to make more money but to feel alive by building on their brand and their customer loyalty. This is without doubt one of the biggest lies we have been told as children. So their goal is not to make more money it is a by-product of their goal of achieving more in their life. They are also philanthropists and they give back a hell of a lot to the world in the form of donations. Warren Buffet and Tony Robbins to name but a few. If you are focused and have clear goals in mind and you concentrate on them every day and take action you can and will create more abundance in your life. Greed and money Thinking of some of my heroes I used to think why would they try and make more money when they obviously don’t need it. Greed is a different animal altogether. with the possible exception of Warren Buffet who is an investment genius.
when the banks are healthy financially it means they can lend more to people for loans and mortgages. when they stay in business it means the banks can lend more money to them to expand therefore keeping the banks in business. Think of this for a moment: More money in your life will mean you will buy more. small businesses are going bust. 72 .needs then life will be empty after a while. house builders have stopped building and banks have stopped lending. knowledge. the price of clothes has gone down. the price of cars has gone down so we should be spending the same to keep the economy afloat. Giving back something to the world in the form of money. I definitely believe we wouldn’t. It’s time to open up your mind to the possibilities of making more money. I believe. I still want to make more money and be financially able to do whatever I want but I am closer to my goal than when I first started out. when there is more social housing stock it means people getting out of poverty and bad housing conditions……………………. Do you think if the ‘Global Crisis’ was never reported on TV. Money is the pathway to freedom for yourself and for others in your life. There is enough money in the world for everyone to thrive and that includes you. You were born to reach your full potential and that certainly does not mean living in poverty and scrimping and saving to get by in life.this could go on and on. and time is something everyone should strive for. Step one – Blasting through your limiting beliefs As I said in the beginning of this post we have been programmed to believe the pursuit of money and wealth is not good. the price of food is the same. from the beginnings of selling sweets in the playground to where I am now. when house builders thrive it means more choice for house buyers and more social housing stock. when mortgages are purchased it means house builders are thriving. Yes this is an overly simplistic view of how the economy works but believe me when I say there are people out there making millions because the herd have listened to the media. However we as a nation are perpetuating the situation by not spending the way we used to and if we are really honest our situation has not really changed we still earn the same monthly income. However because a global financial crisis is great news for newspapers they print their horror stories and suddenly people have stopped spending. when you buy more it means small and large businesses can stay in business. Four steps to creating more money in your life I have learned these lessons the hard way and it has taken me over twenty years to finally be able to understand them. Look at the situation just now and what has happened to the whole economy because the banks have made poor decisions. You will have the ability to help more people by being wealthy than you will be by being poor. education. Get rid of this thought as quickly as you can for it will hinder you from making progress in your life’s goal to create more money in your life. on the internet or in newspapers we would be in this situation right now.
What I mean by this is create something or pass on knowledge which will help someone else realise their dream. You can certainly row someone else’s boat and that is what most of us do in life.Step 2 – Creating your future You can’t row your own boat until you know your destination. This way the knowledge is always going round and being shared and I cannot think of a better way to enrich the world than by sharing knowledge on how to better create more money in people’s lives. And now there are hundreds of happy people who had a tiny dream to build their own chicken coop and found someone willing to impart their knowledge for a small fee. yes it also means taking more risks and failing more but you will learn a hell of a lot about the world works and how you work and how to better yourself. people have all different kinds of dreams big and small and if you can help people realise their dreams. think big and build yourself up from there. big or small you can help yourself create more money in your life and help people around the world. leave and then row someone else’s boat by working for them. And I will do this freely to people who have not made it yet and charge for it to businesses who are in the latter stages of step 3. the dream the other person has might not be huge but if you help them and they are willing to pay for it then you have helped yourself and someone else at the same time. This book is doing great and making the owner a lot of money. called ‘How to build your own chicken coop‘. Now. then we jump off the boat after 45 years service and retire when it’s almost too late to really enjoy life. That’s not a life it’s an existence. you need dreams to follow. you can check it out on Google. leave and then go to university. Start small. but the owner of the ebook thought ‘If I wanted to know how to build a chicken coup. Rowing your own boat means controlling your own life. A fantastic example of this is someone who is selling an ebook right now. Step 4 – Once you’ve made it it’s time to share it I am nowhere near this stage yet but it is my ultimate goal that when I have become wealthy enough to have anything I want in life I will share my successes and teach people how they can emulate my success. you need a vision to hold and passion to drive you. Step 3 – Help someone create their dream Yours dreams are undoubtedly different from mine however the key to making more money in your life is to help people realise their dreams. To do this you have to know what you want to do with your life. there must be others too’. So you see. You might think this is a crazy idea. When one person has a dream there are some others who have the same dream. We go to school. What do you want in life? Now you know what you want you need to know how you get it. 73 .
7.29 Ways to increase your feeling of self worth Author: Steven Aitchison Self worth comes from within. 3. Read a book a month. 5. At the end of each day before falling asleep write down something you feel proud about. Reading a book is actually an achievement in this technology and media driven world and reading a full book is a great way to achieve a sense of accomplishment. develop a reputation as someone who takes pride in their work. 8. walk as if you’ve got somewhere to go and you need to be there now. Here are some things you can do to increase your feeling of self worth. 4. It is something intrinsic and something we can’t gain extrinsically. having more friends. do to the best of your ability even if it cleaning the toilets or something equally as mundane. 6. never run just walk tall and quickly. 9. whether it be work. being able to be open and honest is great for self worth. 2. Say no! Learn the skill of saying no without offending the person asking. Everything you do. 74 . Do something for yourself every day. Dress as smart as you can for each occasion. meeting a friend. 29 Ways to increase your feeling of self worth 1. meaning we won’t find self worth from external factors. having a fancy car or a big house. Take pride in your appearance. you won’t find it by having more money. Walk tall and proud. Tell someone else how much you appreciate them. or going for an interview. either on the day or in the past. Write down 7 minor goals for the week and tick one off each day as you achieve it.
Sing at the top of your voice. Don’t be afraid to accept help from other people. Always be honest with yourself and others. this might be hard to do at first but the first time you do it will be immense and if you carry on your self esteem and feelings of self worth will soar. imagine there are two people one on each shoulder. not outside but in the house and really give it loads (I love singing Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at the top of my voice. Don’t read a newspaper for a week and gauge how you feel about yourself and the world around you.I’ve never tried it. 12. A lot of people focus on building up their weaknesses.Why?………. Reward your successes.) 15. instead of ‘…I can’t do that…. Listen to your self talk and slap the little person criticising you. it means they respect you enough to help you with something. 18. 29. Always. 25. 24. 27. 19. I mean just stop having them in your life. 16. Help other people who need it.because you have the power to decide! 17. You don’t have long to live so just get up and do it. Never let anyone force you to break your core values..’ say ‘. ah! such a good feeling. 23. Work on your strengths. Get rid of the people who are dragging you down (I don’t mean kill them. 22. Start changing your thinking to be more optimistic about yourself... Always leave comments on a blog you like 75 . 11.10. As soon as you achieve something reward yourself. Always. instead get better at what you are good at. Listen to other people and what they are saying. 20. Speak up for yourself in every area of your life. Nothing will send your self esteem soaring more so than facing your fears and eventually conquering them. Face your fears. Forgive yourself! (You know what I mean) 14. I mean it. Take a chance and take a risk or two. the one who criticises you give them a slap or a punch in the mouth and start to pay attention to the one who is praising you.) 13. Stop the gossiping! 21. 26. but I’ll give it a go…’ 28. Learn a new skill or take up something you’ve always wanted to and stick with it. There is no need for lies and the energy it takes to continue a lie is unbelievable. Take a walk in the rain……….
family. or work colleagues. but how do you do it? This guide will hopefully give you some tools to think about and implement when you feel you need to be assertive in situations. Choosing how you live your life.’. It’s okay saying to someone ‘stand up for yourself’ or ‘you should just say this to them…. without feeling guilty about it. assertiveness issues creep up everywhere whether it be with friends. whether at work or at home. Dealing with people who intimidate you or belittle you is empowering and can literally change your life. Most commonly the assertiveness problems tend to arise at work and with friends. Having the ability to take risks when you feel you want and need to. Some common beliefs about being assertive A lot of the time you may fear being assertive by believing something will happen if you are assertive in situations. The bully is of course cowardly and lack the backbone to pick on people who they know will stand up to them. Bullies. If you feel any of the above are missing from your life then you may have difficulty asserting yourself and expressing yourself. prey on people who lack assertiveness and can traumatise the person they subject their bullying tactics on.. Have you had any of these thoughts? ‘I can’t say no. However. Being able to ask for what you want. but to someone who suffers from lack of assertiveness it’s not an easy thing to do and can fill people with dread at the thought of confronting someone with an issue they may have.How to be assertive Author: Steven Aitchison Thousands of people every day are suffering in difficult situations through lack of assertiveness. It includes: • • • • • Being able to express your opinions and views without feeling self conscious Being able to say ‘no’ to people without feeling guilty about it. What is assertiveness? Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for yourself and to express how you feel when you feel it is necessary. they’ll think I am being selfish’ ‘I don’t have the right to say how I feel’ 76 .
Now think of someone who is aggressive. This of course is a fault we humans have but it is sadly true that a lot of people think this way. not aggressive but assertive…….but.’ ‘I don’t want to cause a scene at work. funnier or anything else. the Assertive one or the Sheepish one? Look at your problem areas To change anything in your life you first have to recognise where the problem lies. someone who can be assertive. it’s to do with their ability to stand up for themselves at the right time and to know when to apologise and take responsibility at the right time. the ones who respect them are more than likely aggressive themselves. and doesn’t really speak up for themselves or lacks self confidence.. the Aggressive one. before you jump on the thought ‘but they are better (fill in the blank here) than me’. However this is not to say it is a bad thing to blend into the background if that is your choice but you can be assertive and still blend into the background. I know I’ve said this a million times but it’s worth re-iterating. Those who hate them or dislike them tend to stay out of their way and relate to them very poorly. higher position.take a moment to really think about them.’ ‘If I stand up for myself people won’t like me because of it. How do people react to them? I can almost guarantee you that you think they are admired by everyone and everyone seems to like them and get on well with them and they seem to have more people relate to them better than anyone else……. They tend to blend into the background and are often thought of as less significant than others.’ ‘I don’t want the other person to be upset or angry with me. someone who others say ‘oh you don’t want to mess with them’ or ‘they are too in your face’.‘I am their parent I have to do this for them. or when you really wanted to say no but said yes.’ Which might help you deal with these types of thoughts.’ Do you recognise any of these thoughts? Read the article ‘7 Irrational thoughts…. Think of someone you admire. or didn’t say anything when the idiot at work made you look like a fool. They may not necessarily stand out in the crowd but they are admired and respected for their opinions. Let me ask you something at this point. Look at the times when you feel you really wanted to stand up for yourself but feel you couldn’t. Where does it occur most often? 77 . intelligence. Who would you most like to be like. Now think of someone who is sheepish and says yes to everything. These people are respected by some people and hated by others. it’s nothing to do with looks.
She has gotten so good at this over the years that it is second nature to her. all of whom were qualisfied doctors. but don’t stare at them. However I have practiced what I am teaching here and I practice everything in advance if I think a difficult situation might arise. I admire her enormously for her quick wit and assertiveness and seeing how people respond to her. If I hadn’t asked the question I would have berated myself all day for not doing so. If you have not done this before it might take you some time but believe me when you practice it all the time it becomes second nature and you will find you just do it when you need to.Are there certain people you have the most problems with? Is it when you are in a crowd? Is it harder giving compliments or critiscisms or are both difficult? Answering all these questions will help you understand when and with whom the problems of assertiveness arise. This is being assertive. academics. Take everything the other person says and let it wash over you and remain calm. (a tip I use is to look at the left eye. it amazes me sometimes. However. initially to get you going just practice in your head. I was dying to ask the speaker a question about the topic and to clarify something but felt it might be a silly question. then the right and then the mouth) Don’t apologise if it’s not necessary 78 . Here are some tips once you have practiced them in your head and time to put them into practice: • • • • • Keep it straight to the point and don’t over complicate it. Look at the other person in the eye. not being aggressive. I rehearsed within a few minutes exactly what I was going to say and my tone and hand gestures. a smart alec or whatever else it’s about knowing you have the right to ask a question or to stand up for yourself. meaning she rehearses what would happen in certain situations and she thinks about her response to it before it has happened. Rehearsal My wife once told me she plans for almost all eventualities when she meets someone or feels a difficult situation arising. It could be that you don’t like talking to the opposite sex or feel intimidated. So practice different scenarios in your head about being assertive. Be polite but firm with the person. senior practitioners etc. Answering the questions above will help you see exactly where the problem lies. it could be you feel intimidated by people in authority. I thought about it for a moment and thought if I am thinking of the question and I think it is important then I am going to ask. For example I was at a seminar a few days ago with around 70 people. waited for the right moment and asked my question and as silly as it sounds it felt very empowering. After you have done the exercise above think about what you think might happen if you did assert yourself in the situations and with the people you thought about.
’ Assistant: ‘Okay. Know when to pick your battles and know when to let it wash over you. Repeating your thoughts on the subject You might not use this very often but it is still a good way to be assertive and get your point across.’ Assistant: ‘Well I could replace them for you?’ You: ‘No thanks.’ Assistant: ‘It’s only a small tear. This tells the other person your thoughts on the situation rather than let them take control without any feedback which can often fuel their disruptive behaviour. Pointing out someone’s behaviour Something I use which is quite effective is stating what the other person is doing which is making me upset for whatever reason. I’ll just refund the money for you. this is natural and everybody goes through this and I mean everybody. for example: I feel you are being very aggressive toward me. I would like my money back please. I can give you a discount’ You: ‘No thanks. I get upset when you start shouting at me.You may feel nervous going into a situation whereby you know you are going to have to assert yourself. I would like my money back please.’ The question stops them in their track for a moment and makes them lose their train of thought and to think about their actions. as some people genuinely don’t realise how aggressive they are being. for example: ‘Why are you raising your voice and pointing in my face. I would like my money back please.’ Asserting yourself appropriately I have seen a lot of people being very shy and demure and blossom into assertive people which is great however just because you have found this new power to be assertive doesn’t mean to say you have to use it at every opportunity. Pointing it out to them is a good way for you to take control of the situation. 79 . Using ‘I’ statements Instead of getting angry at someone for their behaviour and keeping it inside use the ‘I’ statement to let them know what you are thinking. for example: You: ‘These jeans are torn.
Seek approval from yourself and if you’re happy and feel good that’s all that matters. 80 . You don’t have to be good at everything in your life but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy new experiences even if you are not good at them. 1. It means they have a differing opinion to you which is fantastic as without differing opinions in the world it would be a terrible place to live. Trying new things in your life is a way for you to grow and learn more about yourself. Yes it’s nice to have other people’s opinions but don’t go out of the way to please other people. 3. It can seperate the successful people in life from the unsuccessful ones. it can be the difference between peace and war. it can mean the difference between loving someone and hating someone. I must always seek approval in order to feel good about myself Many people have thought this at one time or another in their lives. however it becomes damaging when it is an entrenched belief. There is no way you can please everybody all the time so there is no point in even trying. 2. are caused by irrational thinking. If someone criticises me there must be something wrong with me There are many reasons why people criticise each other but it does not mean there is something wrong with you if they do criticise you. I won’t try anything new unless I know I will be good at it Many people suffer from these types of thoughts. All wars. In this post I will look at seven common irrational thoughts and hopefully if you suffer from irrational thinking it will help you to change.7 Irrational thoughts that disrupt your life Author: Steven Aitchison A lot of us suffer from irrational thinking which can affect our lives in a dramatic way. Yes I mean ALL.
If I feel happy about life something will go wrong Another common irrational thought. 6. 81 . it is your fault. they think it always happens to them and they must somehow be unworthy of love. You deserve all the happiness you make for yourself. 5. You have qualities that nobody else can touch and other people have qualities that you can’t touch. It’s not my fault my life didn’t go the way I wanted I have news for you. just like you do. why do they always shit on my car” To “It’s about time I got the car washed”. Take the control back and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. I am inferior to everyone else That’s just the way you feel. I was rejected which means there is something wrong with me This is over generalising like the person who was rejected in a relationship. People reject others due to differing ideals. your past is your past. How to stop your irrational thoughts Simple! Just catch yourself every time you have an irrational thought or self defeating thought and replace the wording of your internal thought. 7. You might think: “that always happens to me. Do not tinge your present and future thoughts with bad memories or else your present and future thoughts will get infected and your life will always stay the same. You have control over your thoughts and therefore your actions. For example: You are driving on a beautiful day and a bird decides to shit on your car. but it doesn’t mean you are in any way unworthy it just means your ideals don’t match someone else’s ideals. if there are still issues lurking from your past that is blocking you to feel happy about today speak to someone about it. Recognising your strengths will build your self confidence recognising others strengths will build their self confidence but don’t put yourself down when recognising that somebody else is better than you at something. You thoughts and actions will determine your life. If you constantly blame others for the way your life has turned out you have given all your power away to other people.4. which doesn’t make it true. This doesn’t make you bad and it doesn’t mean you are a failure.
“Isn’t it terrible that it’s raining?” (Eh! No. I am hopeless at talking in a group.” (usually said whilst talking to a group of friends).” (If that were true you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere in your car without stopping).g.g. “Oh.g.Look for the keywords in there “always”. “I can never get a parking space. “I couldn’t……” e.g. “I couldn’t walk a mile” (have you tried?). So catch yourself with untrue statements such as: “always” e. There are a lot more irrational thoughts out there and you have to be conscious to catch yourself thinking them. I hope this article helps you to catch your irrational thoughts and brings your life into perspective. this is an untruth. it’s not terrible). If birds always shit on his car his car would be floating in the stuff. 82 .g. “I’m hopeless at……………”e. I always get caught in the rain (If that were true you’d be a fish) “I never……………………” e. “It’s terrible……” e.
5 Eye exercises to improve your vision Author: Steven Aitchison Over the last 10 – 15 years there has been a marked increase in the number of people who wear glasses and contact lenses. Simple answer is that 90% of opticians would not be required if everybody done some sort eye exercise on a daily basis. This may sound quite controversial to some people and a lot of people are opposed to this advice when I have given it. This can be put down to drastically increased computer useage both at home and at work. The thing is. just like any other muscle in the body. but it needn’t be! Our eyes need regular exercise in order to keep them healthy. Everybody who wears glasses and contacts will tell you their eyes have gradually got worse over time but they have put it down to their eyesight getting worse which is not necessarily the case. and increased television watching. 83 . This doesn’t have to be the case if you regularly exercise your eyes. we take it for granted that our eyes will eventually give up on us and we will eventually need glasses or contact lenses. if you start wearing glasses or contact lenses your eyesight will only get worse over time rather than get better as your eyes will get used to the new lense and need even stronger lenses to function properly. Also. Good news for opticians around the world – bad news for us. Opticians are people of some authority so why would someone listen to me rather than someone who has had years of training and years of experience and have big fancy machines to test your eyes.
Blinking Blinking is an often overlooked yet simple way to keep your eyes fresh and being able to focus longer. tired. What you may have missed is the fact that they had stopped blinking. Check out people’s blink rates the next time you are talking. I know I will get a lot of abuse for this post but I stand by what I am saying and advise you. After you have done this for two minutes.Palming This is done to relieve stress around the eyes and as a way to relax your eyes whilst taking a computer break. this helps to reduce eye strain. 5 Exercises to strengthen your eye muscles and improve your vision 1. This is only because I have resisted listening to opticians who advised I need them. Think about someone who looked at you intently and you possibly felt threatened by them. Computer users and television watchers tend to blink less. they have returned back to normal vision. Check out this article for more info Dramatically improve your eye contact skills 2. When someone stops blinking and stares at you when you are talking it’s a sign of aggression. Instead I have exercised my eyes and after a few weeks of exercising my eyes. Take a few deep breathes before you begin. I use the computer at home and at work for an average of 9 hours per day and do not need glasses. However whenever you are talking to someone and they are blinking at a 3 -4 second interval it’s a sign of a relaxed and friendly listener. Do you feel any difference? Whenever you blink your eyes are going into a brief period of darkness which helps to keep your eyes fresh and discharges previous information ready for new information.Of course there are exceptions and a lot of people might need glasses or contacts due to congenital problems or some kind of trauma however I believe most people who wear glasses do not need them or did not need them in the first place. Your blink rate can also help with your communication skills. 84 . mentally take note of how your eyes feel. are they strained. if you are a glasses wearer or contact lenses wearer to try the exercises for a few weeks and let me know how you get on. relaxed. Now try and not blink for 30 seconds at a time for two minutes. I have to give credit here to Marc Grossman after finding his articles on eye exercises a few years ago. Try it just now as a simple exercise. especially when they are intently focused on something. What have you got to lose? The exercises I use are pretty standard and have been in the public domain for years but they work for me and hopefully they will work for you. For the next two minutes blink every 3 – 4 seconds. Instructions for palming 1.
2. Instructions for Near and far focussing. Close your eyes. this will only take 2-3 minutes at a time. 4. 5. Imagine a giant figure of eight in front of you about 10 feet in front of you. Sit in a comfortable position. That’s it. Instructions for zooming 1. slowly. Now focus on something else about 10 – 20 feet in front of you. Now trace the figure of eight with your eyes. 3. 2. Do it one way for a few minutes and then do it the other way for a few minutes. 4. 3. Now bring your thumb closer to you. 2. Palming gives you the opportunity to rest your mind and your eyes for a few minutes at a time. your fingers on your forehead and the heel of your hand will rest on your cheekbone. or stand.Near and far focussing This is one of my favourite exercises as you can do it almost anywhere. 3. It may not sound much of an exercise but it can make a big difference in your working day if you stop for a few minutes and do this exercise. I say almost as I couldn’t imagine doing it on the underground without getting strange looks from those around me. 85 . 3.Figure of eight This is to exercise your eye muscles and increase their flexibility. It may seem very alien at first but it’s worth persevering with it. Put your thumb about 10 inches in front of you and focus on it. focussing all the time. Sit in a comfortable position Stretch out your arm with your thumb in the hitchhike position Focus on your thumb as your arm is outstretched. Place your two hands over your eyes with the cup of your palm covering your eyes. On each deep breath switch between focussing on your thumb and the 10-20 feet object in front of you.Zooming This is another one of my favourites as it is very easy and quick to do. until your thumb is about 3 inches in front of your face. This will strengthen the muscles in your eyes over time and improve your vision overall. Now turn the 8 on it’s side. 1. 4. Make yourself comfortable whilst leaning forward on a desk or with your elbows resting on your knees. This is quite a simple exercise but a good one. Make sure you can blink freely and you are not putting too much pressure on your eyes.
Now move your thumb away again until your arm is fully outstretched. 86 . Do this for a few minutes at a time throughout the day. This exercise will strengthen your focussing skills and your eye muscles in general. 6. I hope this post has stimulated your interest in natural vision exercises and it leads you to research this subject more.5. I am by no means an expert on this subject so please do your own research. I can only tell you what works for me.
By the 5th day I was able to sleep for about 7 hours before waking up. I dosed on and off.00am. So I done some research and found it comes down to science. The first few days I kept on waking up at 4. gender and working patterns. like my wife. on average about 7 – 7. My results were strange. The last week I actually got into it and I was starting to get used to sleeping longer. I felt less groggy and got into the swing of the day a lot quicker. A lot of them said something like ‘Oh I need my 8 hours of sleep every night’.5 hours per night. For the last few weeks I have been trying my hardest to sleep for 8 hours per night. The thing is I felt kind of groggy when I was getting up and the rest of the day felt rushed and I was trying to catch up with myself. It’s the scientists that say we need at least 7 – 9 hours of sleep per night depending on age. So why do I need only 4 -5 hours and other people.30 – 5. It got me to thinking where this myth of needing at least 8 hours of sleep per night came from. need about 8 hours of sleep per night? I decide to try a little experiment. 87 . I forced myself to stay in bed and try to fall back asleep.How to get by on 5 hours of sleep a night Author: Steven Aitchison For a few years know I have been getting by on 4 -5 hours of sleep and I didn’t realise how unusual that was until a few weeks ago when I was having a conversation with some of my work colleagues.
Break the new routine into a four week block. Here is how to get by on 5 hours of sleeper night 1. You will already know what time. theta sleep and alpha sleep etc all play a role in replenishing our minds and body’s. 3. Work out how much sleep you get per night. Breaking it up this way will not shock your body and make you feel as groggy throughout the day. What this has shown me is that we get by on what we are used to and our sleeping patterns will take care of itself once we have developed a sleep habit. I felt groggy again as my sleep pattern had been upset again however this morning I feel fine after getting my 5 hours of sleep. I believe the sleeping cycle will work itself into our own sleeping habit. However.A few days ago I went back to normal and got up at 5am after turning out the lights at about midnight. 88 . you go to bed each night and when you wake up. 2. roughly. Of course our body needs to rest and we need sleep and our sleeping cycle. if you would like to get by on 5 hours per night or 6 hours. REM time. Decide on the pattern you would like E. I occasionally have the odd dose in front of the TV for 15 minutes but it’s one of those micro-naps when I feel totally refreshed after it. delta sleep. Know your sleeping pattern just now.G. I know have a lot more time to fit everything I do online into my schedule and feel much more productive throughout the day. Your pattern should be Week 1 – Get 7 hours 15 minutes of sleep per night Week 2 – Get 6 hours and 30 minutes of sleep per night Week 3 – Get 5 hours 45 minutes of sleeper night Week 4 – Get 5 hours of sleeper night 1. For example if you currently get 8 hours per night just now and your goal is to get 5 hours per night. My habit is 5 hours of sleep and I believe my sleep cycle will work itself into my habit of 5 hours of sleep. Now the only thing you’ve got to worry about is what to do with the extra 15 – 25 hours per week.
Dennis Becker and Rachel Rofe. when I first started out I thought if I sell the downloads of the binaural beats cheap I will get loads of vistors to the site and loads of sales through word of mouth. For regular readers you will know I own www. and it was a soft beginning. Brian McCelroy. which meant I didn’t really shout at all about the opening of the site. if a product seems to cheap then it can’t be any good which means a lot of people wouldn’t buy it purely for the fact that it seemed to cheap. I kept it at the new price and I am still getting sales and with over 90 sales I have only had 1 return which is not bad going for a clickbank product.000 – $30. I’d raised my prices by $40 and I was still getting sales. We sat down and discussed her business which was a service she offered to the public. As you know I have been affiliate marketing for a few years and I have also started up an internet marketing arm of the business offering advice to offline businesses. I was speaking with one of my clients a few days ago about a making them a website and do internet marketing for a fixed fee and monthly fee thereafter.com where I sell binaural beats to the public for better health and relaxation.5 Ways to triple your business profits-Part 1 Author: Steven Aitchison Most people will have heard of the ‘4 Hour Work Week’ by Timothy Ferris.000 per year. Anyways. After two days. about how we can work less and get paid more by working smarter. Well the first month of going live. She had made our curtains and pelmets for a great price. I made 6 sales at $29 for each download. I have applied such thinking to my own online business and listened to other great internet marketers such as Rich Schefren. I also do affiliate marketing which I won’t talk so much about as I don’t want to give away my niche. I then received a message from someone else who was selling downloadable binaural beats basically saying that I should not under price my product as there were others out there selling binaural beats for up to $1000 per set. tripled the bottom line and halved my advertising budget. on the third day a few questions from prospective buyers. on the fourth day 2 sales at $69 each. I gave her five pieces of advice for free which will bring in an extra $10. So I have written about 1500 words for each part. but when I got started I soon realised I had a lot more to say than 1200 words. absolutely nothing. This woman’s business was run on word of mouth alone and she had a great reputation for what she did which was to make custom made curtains and pelmets for clients. After the job 89 . I thought about this for a bit and obviously I knew that my competition would not want me selling cheap for obvious reasons but I thought about the psychology of it. Howie Schwartz. When I first started writing this article I expected it to be around 1200 words for the whole 5 ways of doubling your business sales. I then braced myself and doubled the price of my product and waited to see what would happen. I want to give you 5 ways that I have found to work which has doubled my business sales.binaural-mind.
the first piece of advice I would give to businesses offering a service of some kind would be to increase their price by at least 50%. I can almost hear the screams of abuse at this piece of advice. you will get customers who leave you but you will also gain new customers with smart marketing. once the business has been established and the reputation gained they keep the prices the same as before. It turns out she was one of the cheapest on the market in her area. Yes. Sales per month Cost to build Profit Total Profit for month Old Computer $800 25 $530 $270 $6750 New Computer $1200 25 $630 $570 $15250 Increase 50% 19% 111% 111% Price 90 . the answer? Of course she would and could handle a lot more. However. I asked if she would like more business and how much she could handle. it was all word of mouth. I gave her 5 pieces of advice which I know will increase her sales. His new motherboard was 50% more expensive to buy. why? They don’t want to rock the boat. Lets look at the numbers for the computer shop owner. This is not true. put a new type of motherboard in his custom built computers which greatly increased the performance of the computer. we’re in a recession for goodness sake why on earth would I raise my prices? but hear me out. triple her profits and half her workload. They start out in business offering a service cheaper than most to build the business and get a reputation. depending on what you are selling. If you are offering a service to people and you have taken the time to get qualifications in your area of expertise and are considered a professional then increasing your price should be a natural way to build your business but most business owners don’t think like this. If you have a great reputation and people trust you. 5 Ways to double your sales and half your workload – Part 1 1. they will happily pay you the extra 50%. If you are a business owner who sells products you obviously can’t sell your products with a 50% increase? You can. they are fearful that if they put the prices up the buyers will leave.was done we had a word about her business and I asked a whole load of questions about her business and her marketing and she said she didn’t do any marketing. After talking about it we marketed the benefits of the new motherboard and he increased the price of that computer model with the new motherboard by 50% and it is now the bestselling computer in his shop. We sat down and went into more detail about her business and looked at her competition to find out what they were charging for their service. One of my clients. a computer shop owner. Increase your price You might have guessed it already. (and by the way we’re only in a recession because the media say we are).
I think you’ll be surprised at the numbers it throws out. A lot of people who own a service-business are afraid to raise their prices for fear of losing customers. The above tables do not take into consideration the increased amount in sales for the new computer as they were marketed as having the latest new motherboard and we marketed all the benefits of the new motherboard.As you can see from the table above the main points are. So by adding an extra high end component we have increased the sales and increased the total profit by 111%. Work out your numbers on your business and see if adding an extra 20-50% would make a difference. So lets just say you increase the price by 25% which is just over the amount it costs extra to build the computer. Sales per month Cost to build Profit Total Profit for month Old Computer $800 25 $530 $270 $6750 New Computer $1000 25 $630 $370 $9250 Increase 25% 19% 37% 37% You still increase your profit by 37%. So although it was more expensive to build we still increased the overall price of the computer by 50% and gained 111% increase in profit. increase your customer service and lose a few old customers and gain a few new ones. amazing! Okay you might think we were being a bit greedy here. not to mention the increased business through word of mouth. Price 91 . You are always going to lose a few customers along the way no matter what you do so why not increase your price. The cost to build the computer was 19% more as the motherboard had gone up in price by 50% but the rest of the components of the computer stayed the same price.
Planting a thought seed Planting a thought seed is a fantastic way for you to begin thinking about the life you want and getting it. “what if I could start my own business?” and so on Lots of ‘what if’ statements are examples of thought seeds. I think this may be due to the fact that they don’t believe in themselves enough to allow themselves to think big. In this article I wanted to give you a technique to start the process of thinking big and I wanted to tell you why it is important to think big. “What would I feel like if I had the job I really wanted?” and allow yourself to daydream about having the job you really want and what it would feel like and how you would change as a person because of it. Simply put a thought seed is a tiny thought that lets you momentarily dream about what your life could be like if you could have anything. 92 .Planting thought seeds for a better life Author: Steven Aitchison Many people don’t allow themselves the luxury of thinking big. Thought seeds start like: “What if I were rich. Probably the biggest thought seed a lot of people have is ‘what if I won the lottery?’. what would it belike” and you allow yourself to daydream about what it would be like being rich. We’ve actually had conversations at work on this very topic.
Why plant a thought seed Planting thought seeds are your key to gaining a better life. Everything you do begins with a thought seed. That includes having a shower in the morning to get ready for work, having your breakfast, starting a business, starting a relationship etc. The kind of thought seeds I am talking about are life changing thought seeds not your run of the mill ones which most people have an act on. Here are some famous thought seeds throughout history: ‘I wonder what it would be like if we had a black president…..’ ‘What if it were possible to connect every computer in the world to share information….’ ‘I wonder if it would be possible to build a computer that we could use in our homes….’ ‘’What if we could explore space and put a machine on the moon….’ ‘wouldn’t it be great if we could communicate with anyone using a wire and a handset….’ ‘Would it be possible to make light with the flick of a switch….’ ‘Wouldn’t it be great to fly like a bird in the skies…………’ There are literally millions of examples of life changing events that start with a thought seed, a tiny little ‘what if’ statement is usually all it takes. However most people don’t act on these thought seeds and dismiss them for various reasons, mainly because we think we could never do it. Well I think it’s time we started acting on these thought seeds and nurturing them to grow and be fully realised. Growing your thought seeds Not everyone is going to have world changing ideas and that’s okay, but we can affect the world in a small way by changing our own lives for the better. To change your life you first have to know what you want and what you would love to change about your life. So the first thing to think about is what would you change about your life if you could. No need for writing this down just have the thought, think of something right now that you would love to change about your life. When you have thought about something you would love to change, imagine what it would be like if you had already changed that aspect of your life. Go into detail here, think about how you would act, think about how your friends and family would act toward you, dream about how it would feel, try and imagine every aspect of the change as if it had already happened. You can do this for several days or several weeks before going onto the next step.
The next step is to ask yourself what kind of things you would need to do to allow this change to happen. Start with the very basics. For example if you wished you could have a better job you could think the first thing you would have to do is where you could get some training to better your chances of getting your ideal job, or you could think about looking at internet job sites to get an idea of what the employers are looking for. Think about every aspect of the process it would take to make the change you desire. Again take as much time as you want to do this, several weeks if necessary but make sure you think about it often and every day. This way your mind will keep on working for you and help you spot opportunities to make the change you desire. Let your thought seeds flourish The only thing you have to do here is keep thinking about your desires and thinking about the kinds of things you would have to o to make your desires a reality. There is absolutely no pressure on yourself to do anything or take any action other than thinking about your desires often. Why do all of this? A lot of people don’t take the time to think about the things they really want in life. When you have the initial thought of your desire that may be as far as it goes, but now you have gone a step further and actually thought about the steps that you would have to take to make it happen. When you do this your brain goes into overdrive and starts noticing things in your life that could bring your desire closer to you. You will start to see strange coincidences in your life that relates to your desire and a lot of people will take action on these coincidences. So, just by thinking about your desires with no pressure on your part you may be a step closer to gaining the life you want. Taking action Of course there is a need, eventually, to take action, as you will never get anything in life unless you take action. However, as this process of planting thought seeds brings the action closer to you it is much easier to realise your desires.
Life is shit
Author: Steven Aitchison Life is shit! I have spoken to so many people who complain about life and how shit is. In every single case the person who has been complaining has done absolutely nothing to change their life to make it less shit. Here are the most common ‘life is shit……..’ phrases and how to over come them. Life is shit because I don’t have the money to do the things I want! There are literally hundreds of ways to make extra money, but ONLY if you are willing to work for it. I don’t mean work hard all day and all night I mean work smart and automate as much as possible so you are making money whilst you sleep. Some things you can do are: 1. Affiliate marketing – Sell other peoples products online. A simple website, a few keywords, a google adwords campaign and you are more or less up and running. The easiest place to start is selling stuff from Clickbank. 2. Sell your knowledge – Do you have a skill that could be taught either via seminars or via an ebook? Truth is, everybody has. You can turn your knowledge into a saleable commodity. I have learnt a bit about internet marketing over the last few years and am now selling that knowledge to local businesses, via an ebook to anybody who wants to know. You can learn the skills of internet marketing in a few weeks of dedicated learning. If you do this you will have more knowledge than most businesses will know in their lifetime. Think outside the box with this one. I know someone who makes a killing just installing wordpress blogs for people and setting it up for them. It takes her two hours of work and she charges $100 a time. That’s only two examples of making extra money. There are hundreds more you just need to put your thinking cap on. Dennis Becker advocates trying to earn an extra ‘5 Bucks per day’ and then take it from there. How hard would it be to earn an extra $5 95
I would do anything. Each time you double the amount to make in a day your money limit will go higher and you will become more confident and in turn your own mind will keep working for you and you will begin to see new ideas in everything. Life is shit because I don’t have my ideal partner! When you are thinking like this you are giving all of your power away to an unknown entity. Everybody is always looking for reliable. This way you will gain experience of working with clients and the kind of questions and difficulties they will have. Life is shit because I don’t have the job I want! Tell me. what have you done to find the job you really want? Most people who say this don’t really know what they want so how are you going to find your ideal job when you don’t know what it is. I remember having a conversation with my older sister a few years ago and she was saying how she wanted another job. You start small and learn the basics by building your own sites.per day. if you 96 . If you can earn an extra $5 you can then double that. Don’t waste time on minor weaknesses. Her business is now booming and she is doing great for herself. The thing to do here is concentrate on being happy with yourself before giving up part of the power to someone else. anything at all to bring money into the family home and for my self respect. If you don’t have the time to go to college then learn at home and build your own websites then ask someone if they would like a website built for free. namely the person you think you should be with. Life is shit because I don’t have a job! Unless you have some sort of disability there is absolutely no need to be out of work. one site at a time. When she sat down and thought about what she loved she became a registered child minder and set up business for herself. You first need to figure out what you want to do and then figure out how to get it. then two a month and then three a month and pretty soon you will have a website business. There is no need in this day and age not to have a job. Thinks of all the things you want to be and work on each part in turn. Another piece of advice would be to concentrate on your strengths. When you are totally content within your skin you are ready to meet your ideal partner. Then when you get more confident you can go to college for a certificate of some kind and then build up your knowledge and certification from there. She was babysitting for a few people and doing a few part time jobs cleaning and working in a shop. concentrate on building up the things you are already good at. This applies to any type of work you want to do. For example if you want to get a job as a web designer. Work on yourself in every single way possible. always building your knowledge as the world of the internet is always changing. registered child minders. Do one a month.
97 . I’m sorry if that sounds harsh. be your own boss. to help someone else make money? There is no need at all. There are a million other different ‘Life is shit because……. Life is shit because nobody likes me! You might be right. Life is shit because I have lost a loved one! There is nothing at all I can say that will change your mind and rightly so. but it’s the truth. the interviews. We are so engrained into thinking that somebody has to give us a job that we don’t think outside the box. I have to say if you are happy feeling like shit then there is obviously no need to make any changes. If you are a hard worker there is virtually nothing you cannot do. Why do we have to go through the job hunting. At this stage don’t think about the bigger picture. The grieving process needs to be realised fully before you can move on and this. There is no possible way people will like you until you truly like yourself and if you’re at this stage you have a lot of work to do on yourself.can’t find an employer create a job for yourself. create a job for yourself. I am probably not going to be liked for this article but I had to say it. however if you are a lazy so and so then put up or shut up. everybody might not like you and for one reason – You don’t like yourself. the research.’ phrases and 99. think about the small changes you want to make and work on them continuously and build up your repertoire until you are happy with yourself. I cannot begin to imagine being in your shoes and I would not dare insult you by offering advice..9 % of them can be overcome if you are willing to put in the effort. there is no point in complaining about something if you are not prepared to do anything about it. will take time. Small steps – Every single journey you take in your life will begin with a small step and this is the same for changing your life. I know it’s clichéd. the letter writing.
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