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CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS - VOLUME 2
The Best of Change Your Thoughts - Volume 2 | Steven Aitchison
Dear friend Thank you for downloading this eBook, I hope you will gain some useful insights from the many articles and the guest authors we have for you. As you know my name is Steven Aitchison and I am the author of Change Your Thoughts blog, the biggest Personal Development blog in the UK. This is the 2nd volume of the best of CYT. The blog has now been running for over 3 years and has built up a fantastic group of readers and a loyal group of writers. I would like to thank all the bloggers who are doing it for the readers and doing it for themselves, this is only the draft copy so will thank specific people in the final version.
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You Are a Failure – A Letter To You
When you read the heading, how did it make you feel? did it make you feel anything? did you get angry? upset? Believe it or not that’s how a lot of people feel, no matter what they achieve in life, they feel as if it’s never enough. They feel everything they have done ends in failure; their relationships, academia, work, fatherhood, motherhood etc they take it all and see it as a failure. I have dealt with clients so many times who have been able to rhyme off all their failures, and it seems to give them a sense of satisfaction at being able to list so many, that’s because they have gone over it so much in their heads. I can empathize with the person who is suffering this, I have been there, we’ve all been there at some point, it might not have been as prolonged but we’ve still been there. The problem is when the person puts the blame on someone else, usually a failed marriage, a bad childhood, events that have happened in the past etc. If you are one of these people, I really do know where you are coming from, but:
Now Is The Time To Take Responsibility
The time to start is now. It’s time to say, yes shitty things have happened to me, yes I had a shit childhood, yes I was bullied as a child. It’s great to own that, and say it happened to you, but it’s also time to let go. Give yourself a break from analyzing the past, stop living there. Come back to the present and show everybody who you are today, not who you were yesterday. You are so much more than what happened to you. The very fact that you are with us today and reading this, whether you feel 2
angry or not. nobody else. but what I will never understand is how you feel about it. that’s what living in the now feels like. you will stop blaming others for feeling lousy. Take responsibility and know that you own your feelings. that’s yours to own and believe it or not is a gift which will help you in the future. You might be mad with me just now for saying all this. makes your life a success. real anger. it’s good to have you here. You’ve managed to come through the pain barrier. 3 . welcome back. When you know this you can change your life. I’m still fighting on and you know what! I’m a success. Start the journey How do you feel now? Angry? Mad? A sense of relief? Good. but you didn’t. • • • When you know this. you’ve felt the anger. When you know this you can change the way you think. the heart tugging so many times and you’ve almost given up on a few occasions. believe me I do. you’ve managed to stick two fingers up to the people who hurt you and say I’m still here. but you have the choice to feel different about life. I would love for you to say ‘I have felt real pain. You’ve cried enough tears. but I am still here’ Choose to feel different Maybe it’s not quite the right time. real emotions and real moments when my life was almost over. and tell me I don’t understand what you’ve been through. you’re here. that’s a personal thing and I don’t want to feel your pain. and here is a good place if you want it to be. the pain.
This is because they are making orange juice with the oranges life gave them. like by making lemonade. and you are trying to make orange juice from the lemons life gave you. and so on. you can predict with fairly high accuracy the skills that a child will have 20 years later. On the other hand. as they could make use of their skills in a way that is unexpected. From a young age. social interaction. It is said that if life hands you something of value like lemons. Life experiences do take their toll.You Can’t Make Orange Juice From Lemons Author: Armen Shirvanian Armen Shirvanian writes for the site Timeless Information on topics including mindset development. He has also created a compilation eBook that contains thorough discussion about 11 valuable quotations. you should then create what is possible from that value given to you. communication. as well as where their deficiencies might be. What is often ignored in this message is that you can’t go and make orange juice if you are handed lemons. 4 . What this relates to in your ability to make use of your strengths is that you have a certain set structure your body and mind have adapted to. and competition. Personalities Are Fairly Fixed In Place A basis for this concept comes from the idea that our personalities are fairly fixed in place. but I’ve noticed that the quiet person in a group now tends to be the quiet person in a group 5 years later. their success is much harder to determine. and it makes no sense to try and take on the form of someone else who is successful.
or work with you a certain way. and then check on what you wrote today a week or two from now. listening to classical music. Don’t expect that someone else will adapt to what your ideal of them is as time progresses. future.Work With What You Are Built With If your mind is one that brainstorms well when you are pacing around. 5 . provides you with understanding that reduces frustration. It may also do you well to write down a description of how others frustrated you today. because in the same way that history repeats itself. and that what you have seen from others is a good indicator of what you can expect more of. will be deleterious to your productivity. Knowing that oranges can’t be used to make lemonade. and eating a fish sandwich. Notice Trends In Each Person’s Behavior This same concept applies to how you view others. and take your idealistic glasses off to see if there is actual change taking place. you want to realize that that is a very accurate indicator of what you can expect from them in the near. It is worth trying if you are so inclined. in a slightly altered way. if not exactly. if it is not fitting for you. Tomorrow Will Be Like Today If No Change Is Made The call to action from that point is to examine those you know. and possibly far-off. The similarity is likely to surprise you. or regularly tearing you down. then that is what you want to work with. Knowing that some genius in the 1800s would learn and process best when by sitting for 2 hours and meditating before doing brainstorming doesn’t mean it is the way for you. and leads you to find those lemons to make your lemonade. or maintaining an exercise routine for many years. If you see someone responding in a common way each time. past actions and behaviors that affected you from a certain person are very likely to show up again. but copying the pattern of another person. and see who it is that you have been hoping would understand you a certain way. A co-worker who puts you down in some way every morning is not likely to quit that behavior until you realize the trend and respond in a way that makes a put-down from them to you not beneficial in their own mind.
People have willingly died for their beliefs – and survived because of them. He faced beatings. starvation and disease to extremes we can barely imagine. 6 . Avy Joseph (p114) Marines train their minds to over-ride the pain impulses of their bodies.net .Real Change – Should It Feel This Uncomfortable? Author: Douglas Cartwright Douglas Cartwright is a personal breakthrough and effectiveness coach who helps people get unstuck and start taking more action.uk “Tension and discomfort are necessary feelings in the process of achieving your goal. Victor Frankel got through a German concentration camp in horrific conditions because he believed there was something worth living for on the other side. and do what they needed to do to achieve their mission.co. In fact. listen to the audio. and request a free ‘explore your breakthrough’ session. For a powerful free technique on implementation.” Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. and out in harsh terrain in ways that would kill the rest of us. They can survive under torture. read the articles. visit www. His speciality is untying psychological knots that impede thinking and doing! To read more. if you do not experience them then the goal is not important or not what you really want. please visit the site at www. get through it.livingwords. or make it to the end of their confinement.overcomingprocrastination. This means that pain can be experienced to an outrageous degree but the people involved managed to live.
I did this for years. and dose ourselves with food. We run away from discomfort and tell ourselves we can’t stand the problems in our lives.We in the West live in a society where life is ‘easy’ compared to most of the rest of the world. In other words. Think again! If you’ve ever watched the violent and satirical sci-fi film Starship Troopers you’ll see the drill sergeant spear a recruit’s hand with a knife and then announce (as the recruit screams) : “PAIN – is in your mind. We medicate ourselves every time we feel a twinge. I know. They are as part of you as sexual desire (although we don’t usually enjoy them as much!) They’re hot-wired into your mind-body system so they’re not going anywhere anytime soon. As if we really know what ‘problems’ are! As Avy Joseph says in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: “We all experience problems in many areas of our lives but don’t always realise that our minds and bodies respond to how we rate them. They are as normal as hunger when you haven’t eaten. completely. and entertainment whenever we feel unhappy. sex. See the examples above. Here’s a revelation I had which is changing my life: • • • those ‘feelings’ are completely normal. All this time you may have been rejecting the natural tensions that come along with changing the status quo. Isn’t that kind of like hating yourself for breathing? This is partly why Susan Jeffers said :”Feel the fear and do it Anyway” because fear seems like a stop sign but is actually just neurological7 . it’s the meanings we choose to give to our ‘discomfort’.” I think it probably felt quite real to the person with the knife through his hand! Nevertheless. drugs. Why we don’t stick with change They tell themselves that they can’t stand the feelings that come with it as if the feelings shouldn’t be there. Yes. Evaluating a difficulty as unbearable is not only flawed but it also triggers images and feeling that fight against goal achievement (p31)” I think we think we ‘shouldn’t have to experience ‘pain’ on the way to our success. and breathing hard if you’ve run a lot. the idea is that it’s not just the feeling but what you tell yourself about it that determines whether you’ll get through it. sadness when you loose something valuable to you.
and I genuinely don’t think they’re an infallible guidance system as some personal develop writers suggest. Or the bed! So when you attempt to change your mind and body resists. you have the first piece of what you need. If you did. If you believe you just evolved. then these signals are simply that – signals from a body and mind about itself and its environment. You’d be too scared to step out of bed in the morning in case the floor ate you. mine must be broken…! So if we are often going to feel uncomfortable with the process of change (and I acknowledge there are plenty of times when change is fun) then what will help us stick with it until the change is made? • • • • A goal we want Healthy beliefs Healthy self-talk Reasons to persevere Exercise So what is the thing you want to change? What will the outcome be when you have got it? What difference is the change going to make in the ‘real’ world that is worth fighting for? How will I know I am different when I have made the change? What will be the improvements in my attitude and performance. They’re not instructions. Too often? But now you KNOW those feelings are natural. Your mind is designed to reinforce what you already believe. It sends out waves of discomfort. It ‘says’ Stop! The status quo is under threat. This. even if we don’t always use/feel it so. and what you want. or you could not live a life where you doubted every element of your existence. you could not function. It has too. I don’t deny that this is a hard piece of truth. then you believe that every part of you that is made is ‘good for purpose’. If you believe that God made you. the simple explanation is this.kinaesthetic information reporting to you how your perceptions are measuring the gap between what you have. And maybe you have stopped. 8 . But it is true. they’re just part of the process of change where old beliefs fight for their existence. If they are. is completely natural. But the experts say we are engineered for change? So why do we feel tense and uncomfortable? Well.
too difficult. fears. you might come up with something like this for a healthy belief: “Labelling emotions as unbearable. I can totally refuse (2) to use those labels and instead replacing them with ‘perhaps difficult but not unbearable’ or ‘in a different category to the comfortable emotions’ or even ‘all emotions are useful’ and ‘usefully produce discomfort in their message’ or ‘discomfortable messengers to prod me to alertness or to pay attention to something in my experience’. After writing your negative thoughts. Why a remote control? Well. ask that owner for referrals etc. I have the power to choose etc really helps me. Write down all the worries. you will need to make a list of what you’ll get if you use the healthy belief as a reminder to push through the uncomfortable feelings – until they change. It helps to write out a paragraph of what you want to believe instead. Avy Joseph says a healthy belief = what you want + keeping it real (p98) unlike an unhealthy belief that usually demands the world ‘must’ and ‘should’ conform to its demands. Write out as many benefits as possible. Let’s say your goal is to experience the remote control of power within you. hear and feel that.Grab a piece of paper write it down. feel helpless in the presence of them. (1)Removing these labels and downgrading them to ‘don’t love but can stand’. griped and ‘I can’t’ statements. is definitely going to fail because of them are all ways of giving commands to your nervous system to create goal avoidance and away from motivation. cannot override them. I’ll have more peace. if you hold it – no-one can push your buttons! You have some idea of what it will be like to see. 9 . uncomfortable. I’ll be more in control. The next thing to do is to create a healthy belief about these feelings. Now ask yourself what you currently think about making that change. I’ll feel more empowered I’ll be able to go on that date. “ What I have done here is given new meanings to the feelings I had (1) and used statements where I acknowledge my ownership and control of the meanings I use (2) Next. Let’s say that you were struggling to overcome your feelings.
walking away in disgust and coming back again with a renewed determination. read your reasons to go on! When you’re self talk criticises you. puffing. Who decided that? Me. But persevere and you’ll get there. Then have it with your self-talk. I can decide OTHERWISE can’t I?” Think about a couple having a humdinger of an argument. You can repeat and affirm to yourself your new belief in the mirror. Changing your meanings and beliefs can sometimes be like this. Well. take it down pro-wrestling style! Albert Ellis in his wonderful book: How to Stubbornly Refuse to make yourself Miserable about anything ever again – yes anything!” says you really need to passionately and aggressively dispute your inner talk. To undo a really gnarly knot my involve a lot of huffing.Etc Now. I like to think of changing the things that make us stuck as ‘psychological knots’. When you feel like you need reasons to go on. 10 . “Really? According to WHO? You and whose army? Oh! So I have to feel helpless. you are armed and ready to go. Claude Hopkins in the Magic of Believing recommends this.
However. The only time I can seem to pull myself together and not procrastinate (especially when finishing one project and moving on to the next) is when there’s a deadline to be met. resulting in exponentially more time lost. my mind drifts off to different places (like dark corners of the Internet). as I procrastinate and weigh the decisions of what to do next or when to do my project. I have always been a micromanager of decisions and deliberate before taking action.Ask The Coach 8 – Overcoming Procrastination Author: Steven Aitchison Overcoming Procrastination Question from bretthimself answered by coach Steven Aitchison Question Here’s my question: I’ve found that my biggest sticking point in all of this is acting quickly. The question is: how can I do the things I want to do without procrastinating or deliberating when there is not the stress of a deadline? Hi Brett 11 . But the pressure of the deadline seems to suck the life out of me and my work.
They put off a lot of things in their life in case something bad happens to them and hate facing a task head on. They make promises they cannot keep and love the pleasure of buying something new. there are deadlines to be met every single day. so you can’t run on the adrenaline of leaving everything to the last minute as you will quickly burn out. According to Linda Sapadin (author of The 6 Styles of Procrastination and How Students Can Overcome Them© (Penguin. It’s hard hitting. especially after everybody seems to tell us that procrastination is bad and all the self help gurus tell us exactly how to overcome it. They tend to withhold on tasks given to them and delay them stating how busy they are and how important their 12 . Defiers – This procrastinator hates authority and cannot stick to a task given by a manager or someone else higher in authority. They suffer from ‘what if’ syndrome and everything might have a negative consequence. They love the security of their world and constantly fret when faced with fear or change. but hate the pain of paying for it. In the real world. That might sound counterintuitive. Is procrastination bad? I would first like to say that procrastination is not always a bad thing.Thanks for your question on Ask The Coach I recognise what you are saying here and believe there is a lot of things you can do to help yourself with this. but it is good to know which type you are in order to overcome procrastination problems. They have had many jobs and live in the world of the unconscious where everything is magical and assume they are special in some way. laid back life and not have to worry about the real things in life. when there’s a deadline. Worriers – This type has a very small comfort zone and doesn’t like to stray too far out of the comfort zone. For some. Know what type of procrastinator you are You will see from the following six descriptions what type of procrastinator you are. 1999) with Jack Maguire) procrastinators fall into one of 6 styles: The six types of procrastinators Dreamers – This type of procrastinator want to have an easy. This only works when there are a few deadlines throughout the year. like you describe above. They promise the world but deliver an island. procrastination works and it can be a great motivator for getting things done. albeit at the last minute.
13 . only trouble is. They carry this on to the real world. what should have taken 20 minutes takes 2 days. Do not reward yourself with the Internet. It will take ages to get them going but once they do the job will be perfect. you will develop a new habit and you will soon be known as the person who gets things done. it’s never going to work. I am afraid so. Their self esteem is on the line on every single task they do. TV. This strategy gives a feeling of power and can even spill over into relationships. what’s the point anyway – STOP! literally stop your mind from chattering and focus on the positive outcomes of what the task will achieve. Yes. I am going to look foolish. Perfectionists – It all or nothing for this type of procrastinator. They constantly aim to please and pride themselves on being able to do lots of jobs at the one time. The 6 steps of overcoming procrastination Write it down OMG not another person telling me to write it down.other tasks are. ever wondered why so many people advise this? because it works. Start at the top and work your way through them until all your tasks for the day are finished. Remember do not reward yourself at all until all tasks are completed. if you practice this every day. Pretty soon. Overdoers – The overdoers will take on the world and make your dinner at the same time. Again this spills over into their life as well. However they cannot deliver on all their promises simply because they have too much to do and cannot concentrate on one task long enough to do it well. reading. Crisis Makers – This usually starts at school when the crisis maker has one night to prepare for an exam and they are all traumatised as they haven’t prepared however they are secretly boosting that they can get the work it takes other s 3 months to do in one night. The pressure and adrenaline spurs them on. and quickly find that running on adrenaline every day doesn’t work so they burn out quickly. or anything else until all tasks have been done. Stop making it a drama If you get into the mode of thinking this is terrible. because of this they avoid tasks they don’t think they can do perfectly so they miss out. Write down your to do tasks for the day and realistically assign a time value to each one of them.
it’s the starting of making the snowball that’s the problem. You can get smaller adrenaline rushes by assigning deadlines for yourself. As soon as you get a task to do. make sure you finish the task within the week but hand it in to your boss 2 days before the deadline. develop. Get your adrenaline rush elsewhere. Whenever you have a task do anything that will start the project off and I really do mean anything. When you take on new tasks do so with an open mind. For example when you have been given two weeks to do something. However. Let go of the adrenaline rush People who do things at the last minute actually thrive on the adrenaline rush. give yourself a week to do it and create your won deadline. It’s easier to roll a snowball down a hill when you have already made the snowball. it is literally impossible. 14 . Go jump out of a plane at 10. However. again. but take them on. don’t think that you might not be able to make it perfect just take it on and start straight away. try dropping a cup onto the floor so it breaks – get out of the mold of being perfect. If you do this religiously with every task you will.000 feet (with a parachute of course!). It’s good to recognise that you like this adrenaline rush and it’s quite exciting but it’s time to try another way. a note of caution here: if you are going to do this for a boss. you might not try new things as you are not able to perfect them. your life will change forever. you might be proud of it. a new habit of completing things early. you said you tend to consider things before you start them which leads you to drift off to other things. Your perception of perfect is someone else’s perception of imperfect. try being late for an appointment. So do anything at all to get going and pretty soon things will start to snowball and the task will be complete. you cannot expect to live like this every day of your life. Leave the adrenaline rush where it should be and start to work a different way to get your tasks complete. but it stops you doing things in life. don’t think just take the first thing in your mind that needs to be done and get going with it.Do it now Brett. Stop trying to perfect the world You cannot be perfect. If you are a perfectionist. this way the boss will not start to pile things on you as they see you are someone who can get things done quick. It’s all about developing a new thinking pattern toward your tasks. This way you will get finished a week early. To overcome being perfect try doing things the wrong way.
Learn to say NO! Stop taking on too much work. Well Brett. 15 . Let me know your thoughts on this. You will learn in life that there are times when you have to hold up a hand and say NO! You can’t do everything and to do something to a satisfactory level you have to be realistic about the amount of work you can take on. I got an idea and went with it. but I hope it has helped you in some way. When you have taken on a certain number of tasks it’s time to stop any more work from being piled on you and gently remind the people who are trying to pile the work on you that you’ve got enough for now. Saying No will also empower you and give you much more satisfaction and confidence in yourself. I know this was a bit long winded.
2. I was originally inspired to do this by Dragos Roua who wrote a great post 100 Ways to Live a Better Life and who was inspired by Mike King in this great post 100 Ways To Be A Better Leader who was inspired by Armen Shirvanian: 100 Ways to Show Boldness who was inspired by the maniac who started it all Luciano Passuello and his post Tackling Any Issue With A List Of 100 So here I am with 100 Ways to Develop Your Mind 1.100 Ways To Develop Your Mind Author: Steven Aitchison This weeks Sunday Siesta has been postponed as I have been working all weekend on this article. I have been resisting doing this post for a while now. It’s my longest article ever at over 4500 words but I think it was worth the time and the effort. it kept niggling away at the back of my mind and I kept getting more and more ideas to add to it so here it is. However. it’s facing your fears. The first time you do it can be very empowering and your thoughts about yourself will change forever. If there’s one thing that will change your thoughts quicker than anything else. Stand up For Yourself A lot of people have difficulty in standing up for themselves. Do the Thing You Fear the Most. See Dealing With Confrontation 16 .
Stand on a Chair for 5 Minutes Per Day Building self discipline is a great way to take control of your mind and your thoughts. 4. Stop Talking It’s great to be silent for just a little while. Strengthen Your Thoughts About Yourself Reinforce your thoughts about your good points. If you just get up and stand on a sturdy chair your mind will be wondering what the hells going on and try and force you to get off the chair. Blindfold Yourself for a Day Walk in the shoes of a blind person for 1 full day.3. 6. Disciplining your mind is a great way to start changing your life. Strengthen Your Strengths Sometimes we focus too much on trying to strengthen our weaknesses when we should be concentrating on strengthening our strengths. nonetheless it’s a great way to let go of your inhibitions. 9. just give a larger than normal donation to someone. although when I have done this I look like a dog having a seizure. tell yourself often. If you are good at talking to people. It can give us a tiny glimpse of what goes on in other people’s minds. If you are good at maths. Take A Walk Around an Art Gallery You might not appreciate art or participate in it but it’s great to see the thoughts of others on canvas. Dance When There’s Nobody There It’s a strange sensation to dance on your own. Give Money to Someone Unexpectedly Whether it be on the internet. or in the street. This again is liberating and your thoughts about money will change for a few moments (that’s all it takes to start the process of changing your life. 17 . it will forever change the way you think about life. See Self Discipline 8. 7. This has the benefit of reinforcing and strengthening your self image.) 10. Our thoughts turn inward and we begin to appreciate ourselves just a little more. tell yourself this often. 5.
We’ve got to ask why we avoid them in the first place. This helps put your life into some perspective and gets you thinking about your childhood and growing up. Walk Around The House Naked I can almost feel the shock at this. but from time to time. you are not serving them and they are not serving you and they are dragging your thoughts down. Read This Post by Robin Easton 12. think about that and start acting upon it. or are negative all the time. but just saying hi to stranger in the street or good morning can have an enormous impact on your day and the person you said hi to. drop them. Read A Book By An Author You Most Avoid reading books by authors we avoid gives us a chance to take control of our minds and lets us see another side to our thinking. 13. Talk To A Stranger Again this is breaking our comfort zones.11. This totally smashes the boundaries of your comfort zone and your life could change forever. YOU are the only person who controls the universe. Honestly drop them from your life. Lock the door and totally liberate yourself and your thinking of what’s right and what’s wrong. Stop Contact With Your Down People If you have people in your life who constantly drag you down. now write the article. is it something within us that we are avoiding? 15. 16. 14. it’s a great feeling. I mean when everybody is out. Take A Risk Life would be boring without ever having taken a risk in your life. Do something that you didn’t want to do because you thought you wouldn’t be any good at it. Believe In Yourself A lot of people believe their life has been pre-destined and there’s nothing we can do to change it – absolute rubbish. yes I did mean universe. Write An Article About Yourself Imagine a newspaper has asked you to write an article of 1000 words or less about yourself and your life and they want to know what motivates you in life. Read This Post by Dan And jennifer 17. 18 . I don’t mean when you’ve got guests in. I wouldn’t advise doing it all the time. Your universe is different from mine so you control your own universe.
what’s the worst that can happen? 20. Retreating into your mind for a few minutes every day will do you a power of good. Meditate Every Day Another powerful thing that has the power to change your life and your thinking for good. read The Post at ZenHabits on Gratitude 23. 24. Share Your Skills Everybody has a skill of some kind. don’t keep it hidden. ask for a discount. When you don’t care about the outcome. Is An Impossible Goal If you work toward a goal without expectation you don’t care about the outcome as much. but are we really thankful for what we have? Spend time every single day being thankful for the good things we do have in our lives. Read How To Meditate 19. but you enhance your own skill by owning it. Obviously don’t turn into a weirdo and do it with every good looking person on the street. If this happens to you. do something about it.18. Most people are so afraid of doing this but it’s a great way to empower yourself and let go of another inhibition. You never know what will happen and how much your life could be changed. Just say to them you thought you would come over and say how attractive they looked and felt you had to tell them. Ask For A Discount When you buy anything from a shop that is over $100. 19 . When you share it you not only have the power to help others. 21. Do Something Nice And Don’t Tell Anyone About It We tell others about our acts of kindness to let them know how nice we are and to seek approval. Work Toward. Risk Embarrassment Imagine if you had seen the person of your dreams on a bus. Tell the salesman you’d like a 10% discount on the item. 22. or at the store and you didn’t do anything about it how much would you kick yourself. If you keep your act of kindness to yourself without ever telling anyone the feeling of positive energy lasts much longer. Practice Gratitude We all know what we don’t have in our lives because we spend a lot of time wishing we had them. you don’t have as much expectation. What You Think.
Forgive Behavior The way we behave doesn’t necessarily reflect our true thoughts. christmas or special occasion. 32.25. Write Your Future Life Story Start from the age you are just now and start writing your future life story as you’d like it to be. spend as much time as you can with them. just listen to them and ask them more open ended questions at the appropriate times. Allow Yourself To Be A Lazy Git We are so used to filling our time with useful things to do and being productive we have forgotten the art of laziness. Be as outrageous as you want and just write about your ideal life and how you interact with it. Pass On Your Good Books If you’ve read a book and it changed your thinking or life in some way. 27. Give Someone A Gift For No Reason We always assume someone buys us a gift for a reason whether it be a birthday. Don’t Talk Just Listen Enhance your listening skills by not talking when someone is speaking to you. Remember this when someone acts out of character and behaves in a way you don’t approve of. Resist the urge to speak your views when someone is talking to you. 29. pass it on to someone else who might benefit. 26. Spend More Time With Your Kids Your kids will grow up very quickly. What Is Your Best Quality Today 20 . 28.. This has two benefits: a) You can really listen if you are not formulating the stories in your own head when someone is talking b) you will make the other person feel great as you are actively listening to them. 31. Words on paper are powerful and can help shape your goals. Being lazy is good every ONCE IN A WHILE and it allows our mind to slow down and relax. 30. Buy someone a gift just because you know they would like it.
if there is not much of a community. Make A Video Of Yourself And Post It To Youtube Why on earth would you do this? Just because you can! 36. Try and change it every day. When you get it down on paper it’s extremely surprising that you don’t have as many as you’d thought. Go through them and start acting on them in turn. tell them how good they are at that particular task. Tell Your Friends And Colleagues How Good They Are If a friend or colleague does something good. 35. Write A Comment If you visit a blog you like. leave a comment and join in the community of people. 39. why waste mind energy on something you cannot control at all? Read This Post for More Info 38. what your best quality is. Read About Successful People If you want to change your thoughts and change your life read about people who have already done it and use them as guides. If you find worries you cannot act upon it means there is nothing you can do to change the outcome of that worry. 37. Worrying consumes our thinking and we think our whole life is one big worry. Stop Watching Soaps 21 . Work On Each Worry In Turn Now that you have all your worries listed. List All Your Worries Make a list of every single worry you have at the moment. 33.Every morning for 10 seconds just state. Tweet Your Moods If you use twitter why not tweet your moods daily and see if there is some kind of pattern after a few months. so forget it. You will notice that you don’t have as many worries as you thought. 34. out loud if you can. This reinforces someone else strengths or strengthens their weaknesses and makes them feel good about themselves. Or. be part of starting it. 40. This reinforces your strengths and weakens your perceived weaknesses.
Follow your instincts We don’t trust ourselves nearly enough as we should. 43. just thank them. (expand that boundary). You will be much more respected this way.Soap operas actually have the power to alter your state of mind. don’t take the blame for others. take your partner away. People get so caught up in the emotions of the soap that they experience what the actors and actresses are doing. your life wouldn’t change. Don’t look for a reply. 41. read it and you are buying into it. buy your kids a gift. do anything and make sure it’s out of character. Hold your hands up and admit you made a mistake. no matter what the consequences are. However. Have A News Break What would happen if you never read a newspaper for a week? nothing at all. Do Something Every Day To Improve Your Mind 22 . 46. 42. If it’s a suitcase full of money. 47. Do Something Spontaneous Jump on a bus without looking at the destination. Your Thoughts Really Do Have Power When you realize this. Follow your instincts more and pay attention to the signals your body is picking up and see where it takes you. take time off work. you would still be as up on the world as everyone else. it will change your thinking in so many ways. 44. 48. If a book touched you in some way or changed you. that’s obviously a different story. give it to someone who is homeless or better yet buy them a meal with it. You might find that your conscious brain gets in the way of your body signals a lot of the time. Always Admit It When You Have Made A Mistake Don’t blame others or hide behind someone else. take time to write to the author and thank them. Write To An Author Authors are people just like you and I and they love getting feedback about their work. If You Find Some Money Give It To Charity If you find money in the street don’t pocket it. book a holiday. I can’t tell you that it’s true you have to experience it for yourself. Read This Post for More Info 45. Newspapers sell because of their doom and gloom. you wouldn’t run out of things to talk about.
read a book. I can’t really not invite because I’ll be dead. he had integrity etc. give a gift to someone else at an opportune time. 54. What Do You Really Want To Do In Life You will find most people cannot answer this question simply because they are plodding along with life. What Would People Say About You If You Died This is not a morbid thought. he was a caring man. but I often think about what people would say about me at my funeral. Read this post on eating by Vin Miller 55. 50. sudoku your mind. Change Your Thinking Style If something is not working out. do an anagram puzzle. try and change your thinking style and come at it from another angle. 49. Just a little turns into something huge. let others know what you know if it’s appropriate. he was a family man. ask out loud and send it out there. Always Have A Good Breakfast We underestimate the power of food to keep our brains healthy and our minds alive with energy. Asking for your wants puts it out there. he always told the truth no matter how hard it might seem. When you want a big house or a mansion. 52. 23 . However. the important people are ones I would care about most and I would like to develop my life’s values based on what people would say about me at my funeral. If you receive a gift. Pass On Your Knowledge Knowledge is for sharing. Always pay it forward. When Someone Does You A Good Turn Pay It Forward If you receive a compliment. read This Post by Dragos Roua 51. Ask For What You Want In Life If you don’t ask you won’t get. If you don’t eat that much. This is true of everything in life. 53. When you want the smaller things in life. thank the person and look for an opportunity to give someone else a compliment.Learn a new word. I mean literally ask and metaphorically ask. ask for them from people who can give you them. make sure you have a good breakfast to set you up for the day. When you know what you really want to do with your life then your life takes another path. anything that will help your mind just a little. The thing is the ones who might say something bad. read a stimulating blog post.
63. therefore your life. Listen To Music This stimulates the mind and can have tremendous benefits for your thoughts. Listen To A Book Instead Of The Radio Getting downloadable books from Amazon. Sing Your Heart Out I love to sing. Pacing Whilst Studying This has helped me a lot over the years. but sometimes it’s great to lie in bed for a few hours longer than normal. My theory is that the body and mind is being stimulated with the exercise you are doing whilst walking.mygoldmusic. My sons are not very pleased about it though 57. Have A Sleep In I am not a big fan of sleeping longer than I have to. Make New friends Whether it be online or offline. 58.co. I love rousing rock driving during the day and dance trance music at the weekend whist driving 62. I love listening to Baroque music whilst driving at night. Make Love Regularly Releasing the feel good chemicals. 24 . 59. 61. this makes the blood flow. I hopeless at it. It helps the brain recuperate.com or Audible. into your bloodstream is a great way to stimulate the mind.uk/ and it plays music from the 60s. We have a radio station over in the UK called gold http://www. I paced my way through university. This way your mind is focused on them for at least part of the day. Keeping yourself busy socially is stimulating for the mind and lets you see the world from others peoples perspective. Blood flow to the brain help you to study and remember. endorphins.56. Love The One You’re With Always let your partner know how much you love them by telling them and showing them. 60. but I love it.com is a great way to spend long journeys and learn something at the same time. I have to admit to feeling much more creative after making love. 70s and 80s and I sing at the top of my voice as there is always something on that’s good.
Exercise your mind and read a book.64. maths puzzles. Tidy House Tidy Mind There really is nothing better than clearing your house or office space to clear your mind. Read this post by Vin Miller 65. reading. Exercise Your Mind Not Just Your Body We all know the benefits of exercising the body but exercising the mind by doing crosswords. Read this post by Tim Ferris 71. Travel Often Travel really does broaden your horizons especially if you really get into the local food and culture. Read Philosophy the beauty of philosophy is that there is no right and wrong. read this post at DumbLittleMan 69. Turn Off The TV There’s nothing more brain numbing than having the TV on all day every day. If you look for evidence of your beliefs such as ‘what is the evidence that sea water is blue or green’. Take Micro Naps Taking a micro nap for 10 minutes a few times a day does wonders for your brain energy. playing chess. When the house. When the house is not tidy there is always a niggling at the back of your mind. 68. Look For Evidence Of Your Beliefs This will develop your mind and your critical thinking. office and workspace is totally clean and tidy it frees your mind to concentrate on work or your family at home. read this post on Micro Naps 67. anagrams. sudoku etc. 70. However. 66. you’ll discover some great information on during your research. all help to increase the minds capacity for learning. Ditch The Credit Card 25 . reading different philosophers views about the world will stimulate your mind. or at least watch something educational.
Carry Yourself With Confidence People can tell by the way you walk if you are confident or not. if we see something we like we want it now and using a credit card is too easy. Walk with purpose and have a purpose to walk. Take One Action Toward Your Goals Every Day Your Self confidence. and goals can only be reached by taking action. Confronting Your Stressors Whatever you are stressed about the most tackle first. Read this post by Jonathan Wells 77. beauty and intelligence. Watch A Motivational Video On Youtube First Thing In The Morning This is a great way to start the day. Make Up Your Own Mind 26 . Only those whose thoughts keep searching will stay intelligent for life. 76. This will discipline your mind as well as your money spending habits. Read this post by Brandon Lindell 79. Drink Coffee And Tea Despite evidence to the contrary coffee and tea have been shown to help the brain. Just type in motivational into youtube search box. Tackle the biggest stressors first and work your way down. sort by view count and watch a few videos. Keep Up To Date With New Theories Whatever field you are interested in keep up to date with new theories and discoveries. Never Let Your Mind Go Out Of Fashion Keep up to date with the latest research on health.We have forgotten how to wait for the things we want in life. 75. 72. self esteem. Make the object of your desire more precious by saving up for it. New theories in psychology are especially interesting albeit quite thin on the ground. 74. Antioxidants and/or caffeine may help fight the onset of Alzheimer’s by 30-60% drinking 30 cups a day is obviously not good but 35 cups per day is okay. 78. The less stress you have the less your mind has to cope with. 73. The more action you take the more your mind will help you to keep going.
Quit The Smoking Yep it can be one of the hardest drugs to give up but it is worth it. Reduce Your Alcohol Intake I had to say this. deep breathing can help with this. Don’t cut it out just reduce it to the recommended safe level. change it and go to the same store in another area. whether deliberate or not. Practice Deep Breathing Getting plenty of oxygen to your brain is key for a healthy mind. The government and large corporations. 86. read this article by elizabeth Scott 87. and show fewer signs of stress. 27 . Or if you always go to a particular store. Get A Dog/Cat If you live alone why not go to one of the pet rescue centres and get a dog or a cat. Eat Plenty Of Fish There is an abundance on new evidence that eating fish is great for our brains and keeping them healthy. Change Your Hands Practice doing this with your less dominant hand. I feel so much better for giving up smoking and have a lot more energy than normal and my mind can function a lot better. 85. If you are right handed start doing things with your left hand and vice versa.When reading or listening to the news. 83. start doing it with your feet 82. I am an addiction worker. 80. Do anything to break the patterns you have in life. is a propaganda machine feeding you information to manipulate your thinking. Take Up Yoga This is meant to be one of the best ways to relive stress and exercise both mind and body. 84. If you are ambidextrous. do your own research and make up your own mind. People who have pets are shown to be less lonely. watch this video to get you started 81. more active. Break your Pattern If you are the one who always goes shopping swap the routine with your partner. This way your mind is kept more active.
read this blog byNaoto Matsumoto 93. Don’t judge your solutions just put them down on paper until you can’t think of any other ways. If you use the time to develop your mind and focus on your goals your frustration will dissipate very quickly. Practice Divergent Thinking This is the practice of looking for multiple solutions to problems or issues that arise in your life. 89. whether they be at home or at work. gives you ideas and lets you meet people who are interested in the same topics as you. Use free time like this constructively instead of getting angry and putting yourself in a bad mood. Join An Internet Group Join an internet discussion group to further your education on topics of interest. Want to know more about tropical fish? join a group.88. This educates your mind. Want to start a business? join a group and get ideas for best practice. for developing your mind. Try New Food We have trained our palettes over the years and have gotten used to eating certain foods day in and day out. Volunteer To Help Others Volunteering is a great way to give back to the community and help others learn the skills you have. Stimulate Your Brain By Going To A Concert Whether it be a rock concert or am orchestral concert. on a telephone call can be very frustrating sometimes. 90. get others involved in this as well. Read this article on divergent thinking 28 . Practice Patience Waiting in queues. traffic jams. 94. 92. getting out and hearing music live and being with people who enjoy the same music stimulates your mind and your emotions. 91. Even if you don’t think you have skills you can still help someone out in your community just by talking or doing their shopping for 1 hour per week. Try new foods and train your palette to eat better foods. Read The Tao Te Ching Has to be one of the best books. in my opinion.
read this article by Dave Crenshaw 97. Multitasking stresses out minds and helps to produce bad results. Read The Dictionary Learning a new word every 2 -3 days will increase your vocabulary by 120 – 170 words per year. We spend too much time faffing instead on concentrating on the task at hand. For example you put on your parent hat when talking to your kids.org 100. that was a great book but I can’t remember what it was about. leave it until the next day. Stop trying To Multitask Multitasking can’t be done except with unconscious processes such as walking and talking. I am constantly getting on at my son and saying ‘Stop faffing!’. Always Over deliver On Your Promises If you say your going to do something.95. this way you retain more information and in a few years time you don’t embarrass yourself by saying ‘yeah. don’t just do it and get the job complete. Once you’ve done the time of worry.’ 98. 101. you can also put on your child hat for playing around with your kids. mental. Read this Article at Lifehack. Stop Faffing And Just Do It Faffing is the art of doing small things to avoid completing a bigger task. 96. allocate a certain time each day to worry about everything. Allocate Time For Worrying If you are a recovering worrier and you need some help. Write A Short Essay On The Books Your Read Doing this will keep your mind active and helps your to read in a different way as you are analyzing books instead of just reading. mentally putting on different hats allows you to better go in and out of different roles in your life. 99. Put On A New Hat Edward De Bono wrote a book called Six Thinking Hats in which he proposed you to put on a different. 29 . have a telephone conversation and try and get the kids ready for school it can’t be done nearly as effectively as doing each task separately. make sure you over deliver on everything you do. hat for each area of your life. If you try to consciously multitask like make the kids lunches.
one of them being the box of beauty. there are more or less universal beautiful people. beauty and ugliness. – they just………….Seeing the Beauty in Ugliness Author: Steven Aitchison Look at the image above and imagine that the seesaw represents a scale of beauty from 1 – 10. We’ve all played the game at school ‘what would you give them. Of course beauty is subjective and one person you might find attractive will not seem attractive to me. for looks?’. without putting a label on it. We look at people everyday and box them into lots of classifications. What if we could look at life and just see what’s in front of us. On one end of the scale represents beauty and the other end of the scale represents ugliness. 30 . white and black.are! Looking without labelling Our lives revolve around the dualities of life: good and evil. right and wrong. However. happy and sad and so on. out of ten. Look at the image again. take away the labels of ‘beautiful’ and ‘ugly’ from the two figures. and cultures. and what are you left with? You are left with two figures sitting on ‘The scale of beauty’ however. crossing borders. since they have no labels we cannot call one more beautiful than the other or one more ugly than the other.
skinny. fat.Try it. Try walking down the street and just seeing a person. it’s extremely difficult at first but with practice you will get to do it and turn of the little labelling machine you have in your head. camp. fashionable. When you stop labeling others you will stop labeling yourself as well. handicapped and so on. When the labeling machine is turned off you start to notice life in a different light and your life is a little more laid back. That is just some of the labels we give. gorgeous. you’ll notice you label people almost immediately: businessman. Walk down a busy street and just glance at people as they are walking past. You will become – just you! 31 .
writing and blogging. to become a full time blogger and writer. I am not the world’s best writer. I know that. I read writing in my field of 32 . It’s never really been that way before as I had my mind on so many other ventures. and it’s even better when I get an email from someone to say how much an article has meant to them. However. something about your life. I study what other bloggers have done before me and read their stories. I love it.Set Your Mind Alight and Find Your passion Author: Steven Aitchison If you want to change. There’s no better feeling than that. How I keep my mind alight The simple way for me is to literally immerse myself in what I want at the end of all this. Now the other ventures are out of the way I have the drive and real motivation to get ahead with my blogging. Lately I have been infused with a real passion and drive for what I am doing. I love the thought of someone reading my writing and it sparking a light in their mind that set’s them off down the road to the change they want. and am working on this every day. I am jumping out my bed even earlier than normal and can’t wait to start writing or interacting with readers. and with my writing. I read their writing. I mean really want to change. I’d like to share what I have learned over the last few months that has made a tremendous difference in my life and hopefully help you change. My mind is buzzing with ideas which have to be written down and saved in case I forget them. Admittedly not all the ideas mature into a fully written article but they are saved in case I can come at it from a different angle down the line somewhere.
3. I write. your dedication. fire that arrow’ it’s time for the next step. I visit job boards to get work as a freelance writer. It’s taken me three years to reach this stage but every single change I have gone through to get here has been worth it. Once you’ve got this clearly in your mind. this is how we stand out from the crowd. so many things. dream football. I always had a goal to become a full time blogger. imagine what it will be like this time next year. but I have ways for dealing with that. and it’s the very first time I have believed that I could actually do it. it’s like the duracell bunny on 10 cups of coffee. find out if it sits right with you. It’s seems to have gone beyond passion and my mind is alight with possibilities. the only problem is slowing down. This is in the space of a few months of focus and concentration. you have to watch football. always have a ball at your foot. becoming a coach. 2. I have managed to secure two long term writing positions with top blogs and am looking for more. David Beckham’s old neighbours remarked that they never seen David without a football at his feet when he was younger. It’s like an archer firing at a target that he cannot see. If your goal is to become a football player. I visit sites about writing. This part may last for some time. You find this out by visualising yourself doing what you’re aiming for. Planning from the middle outwards 33 . and are excited by working with you and helping you in your goals. Know what you’re aiming for The example above shows I didn’t really know what I was aiming for with regards to my online goals. making products that I was interested in. play football. Read about your heroes in your chosen field. Deep immersion Totally immerse yourself in your chosen goal. I am going with the flow just now as words are dripping off the page and I don’t want to stop in case the muse disappears on me. it could be months it could be years before you start seeing results but you have to keep deeply immersing yourself and never lose the passion. However my mind wandered into affiliate marketing. read football.interest which is personal development. and the blogging took a back seat. I write and I write. internet marketing. breathing it. join clubs. living it. you feel yourself doing it. which is why I started the blog in the first place. You really have to know what you’re aiming for. This is how we learn to become great. How to set YOUR mind alight to change your life 1. If it sits right with you and that gut feeling is saying ‘Go for it. Other people see your passion. go to matches. Now I can honestly see myself as a full time blogger. with ideas.
Your network of friends. practice gratitude and remember all the people who have put you where you are today. Keep your mind focused on your target. When a footballer plays. it simply means you direct your passion. Get a name as someone who is genuine and willing to help someone reach their goal. This is not using people. If someone asks you for help with something. so they see it as an investment and you see it as an investment. However a lot of people will have to start planning after the immersion stage. you are never too big to do it. This is true of everyday life as well. I read a great post the other night from Jonathan Wells which explains this better than I can. immerse yourself and help those around you and you will reach your goal.Once you’ve deeply and passionately immersed yourself you will be surrounded by a network of people who will help you to get where you want to go. Conclusion Your thoughts and action determine your success. there are many people who have fallen from grace with the trappings of fame and fortune and forget the people who put them there. To maintain your passion. a win. family and new ‘network friends’ are key to you reaching your goals. he plays for himself and the team. Even with the ‘outskirt’ people who ask for help. Always help out when you can. read it here 5. your enthusiasm.win situation. From the network you will see a path of people who will help you to reach your goal faster. then help them. This is not true at all . like in a footballers career where their passion for playing will be turned to passion for teaching others. 4. if they are genuine about their goal. 34 . you are simply using their influence and contact and they will be asking for your help in the future. Once you’ve reached this stage it might be easy to think that you are over the hill and no longer have the skill you once had. Some people get there in the deep immersion stage and everything naturally falls into place. Know when to branch out There will come a time. Maintain the passion It’s easy at this stage to get sidetracked by other things. How are you getting there? What sets your mind alight? what are your passions? How did you get there? It would be great to hear your stories. It’s now time for planning how you are going to get there. your hunger into another part of the goal (no pun intended there). The way to get them to help you is to help them as much as you possibly can. when a coach coaches they are carrying on the legacy they had as a player and reaching and touching the lives of so many more people. Keep you passion alive and see everything anew everyday.
enthusiastic and have a natural love of life. the darker side of the plant grows faster than the sunlit side. A plant-growth regulator builds up on the shaded side of the plant when unequal light conditions exist.” (from the site answers. “……why do sunflowers always appear to be reaching toward the sun? The technical answer is that the flower’s orientation to the sun in due to differential growth of the stem. compassionate and enthusiastic about life. It also answered a lot of my questions on why we. causing the stem to bend towards the sun. Because of this. intelligent. funny. However she can spot an energy taker a mile off and runs in the other direction to avoid them as do I.com/) I think this is absolutely fascinating. I can think of many people in my life who are like this and I believe I was attracted to them for this reason. gravitate toward people who seem to have a lot of positive energy and enthusiasm for life. Energy givers There are some people who are natural energy givers and a lot of people who are energy takers. The energy givers willingly give out positive energy in order to help the people around them just by being positive. she is positive.google.The Heliotropium and Givers of Energy Author: Steven Aitchison The Heliotrpium is a plant that turns itself toward the sun in order for photosynthesis to occur. My wife is a perfect example of an energy giver. 35 . and just shows how beautiful and intelligent nature really is. as humans. We are two of a kind and together we give a lot out to our family and friends.
Complainers can become very boring very quickly and suck the energy out from people as soon as they start complaining about something. When 36 . We also use the sunflower for sunflower oil. it truly is if only we could look at it that way. bitchy. This can be small things like smiling at someone in the street. in turn the sunflower gives out it’s energy through vibrancy of colour and attracts bees and small animals who eat it’s stalk. and generally not nice people to be around. volunteering a few hours a month. look after yourself physically and grow your intellect whenever you can. condescending. like the sunflower. but if you complain all the time you will be ‘Billy no mates’ in a very short space of time. sunflower seeds etc. physically and intellectually. with laughter etc. YOU truly are an amazing person. just the the heliotropic plant. laugh a lot but it can be a someone else’s expense a lot of the time. instead of feeding off everyone else’s energy. mentally. believe in yourself enough to make your journey amazing.Energy givers are attracted to each other by an invisible pull. spiritually. These are people who complain about everything. I believe we are here to reach our true potential and to pass on our potential in order for others to reach their true potential. If you are part of a group of friends make sure you join in your conversations with funny stories. Contribute to the people around you: Give positive energy to those around. So you see like attracts like just like an energy giver will be attracted to another energy giver. but not all the time. grow you spirit. with encouragement. You don’t have to be super confident just make an effort to join in and give some energy back to the group. Grow yourself: We are all growing every single day. There are also energy takers who are just very quiet and don’t contribute much to themselves and the people around them. It’s okay every now and again. Life is a beautiful adventure. They might be funny. They believe life owes them something and complain when they don’t get what they want in life. There are many people who need to live off benefits but the people who are able both mentally and physically are energy takers and one huge way to reverse this is do something about the situation instead of moaning how little the government gives you to live. You cannot see the sun’s rays but the sunflower can feel it and turns itself toward the sun to drink in it’s energy. Turning from an energy taker to an energy giver Give yourself a shake: Many energy takers can’t be bothered to do much with their lives. are negative. Stop complaining: There’s a time to complain and a way to do it. and that’s okay if you expect little in return. Give to others: Help in any way you can and give something back to your community. You just know an energy taker from the moment you talk to them. Grow you mind. Energy takers Whilst a lot of us may not know a lot of energy givers most of us know energy takers. Even getting up and looking for another job instead of living on benefits is doing something positive. spend more time with your kids and family.
you give to others without expectation you receive abundance without owing anything. 37 .
and I talked with several individuals who were currently lifting weights. Self Development.’ I read several books on weight-lifting. Without consistency you will never make any long-term progress.com. you’ll need a ’solid’ plan that you ‘believe in. step-by-step. Self Development by subscribing to his blog at mrselfdevelopment. 38 . then you are planning to fail. or start your own business.com a guest post from Mr Self Development from Do you have a written plan that details how you will succeed. Editors Note: This is MrSelfDevelopment. you will never experience success. I scanned the internet. you have very little direction. I decided to put together a weight-lifting ‘plan.Are You Planning to Fail Author: Mr Self Development This guest post was written by Mr. become CEO. Mr.’ in order to succeed. I don’t care if you’re trying to lose 20lbs. and it will be almost impossible to be consistent. Without a plan. monthby-month? If you don’t. Self Development is a motivational author that offers a practical guide to success and wealth. Please support Mr. Develop a Good Plan Sometime ago when I was looking to start a weight-lifting regiment. win a golf tournament.
how can you expect to succeed? A good plan will challenge you. this is not a problem (just make sure to have your ‘plan’ saved on your computer. when you ‘work’ the plan. develop a plan this week. I also made some additional changes in my diet. after you reach your goal? The question really becomes. it will demand the very best from you. make adjustments as necessary. [A 'good plan' should always include your goals. as well as what time I would begin my workouts. find the best ways to get the results you seek (study folks who have already succeeded). In closing. if you don’t have a plan. Are you willing to remain faithful to your plan when things get tough? Are you willing to stick to your plan. ‘consistency’ and ‘habit’ will take you further than your ‘desires’ ever will. The ‘plan’ works. If you don’t faithfully work your plan everyday. as well as specific daily direction to ensure you meet your goals. so you can make quick updates and reprint as necessary). but the plan has to be ‘worked. how bad do you want it. stay faithful to the plan (in the face of challenges).’ You must develop the habit of following the plan daily. you have to ‘work’ the plan. when someone is passing out ‘free’ donuts? Are you willing to stick to your plan. it’s not enough to just have a plan. ‘working the plan’ may mean practicing 10 hours a day. If you want it bad enough. Three months into the plan. ‘Tweak the plan. Then begin to ‘work the plan’ daily. 39 . Work the Plan Of course. In order for the ‘plan’ to work. If you’re trying to become a professional dancer. Your initial plan will almost always change.’ until it’s the perfect plan for you. so I decided to work them less frequently.] My plan included how long each workout would be. and you will succeed. it will stretch you. you will remain faithful. Start with your research. when everyone else has gone home for the day? Are you willing to stick to your plan. Make Adjustments to the Plan Although I believe I put together a good weight-lifting plan initially. I realized that I needed to make some adjustments: I was over-working my pectoral muscles. it wasn’t a perfect plan. I developed a plan using the best advice from each of my sources and I placed that plan on the wall of my home gym.Based on my research. Remain Faithful to the Plan This is the most critical of all the steps.
my current place of work is predominantly women and I am married to a woman who knows what she wants. in a big call centre office (the truth really comes out in an office!). If you are found out with one lie then the trust will dissappear and it will be hard to gain back. So I have done a lot of asking.12 Qualities Women Want in Their Men Author: Steven Aitchison We all have good qualities and bad qualities. Honesty – This is high up on the list and is a must for guys. I have two sisiters. If your partner asks you ‘Do you like my hair’ a response could be ‘I like it but I preferred it when it was longer. When I say honest I mean being honest about everything. That’s not to say women are weak it’s a security thing and knowing that their partner is capable or willing to protect them at all costs gives women a little more peace of mind. To be able to protect – According to the women I have spoken with they want to know their partner will be able to protect them physically in times of danger or trouble. 2. a lot of research and have come up with 12 qualities a woman looks for in a man. but are there universal qualities that women look for in their partners? Whilst I am not a woman I have worked with women most of my working life.’ When you are honest about everything you will get a reputation for being honest and you will get more respect and gain trust a lot quicker. 40 . 12 Qualities a woman looks for in a man (In no particular order) 1.
Respect – There’s no question of this. caring and love. You’ve got to be reliable if you want your partner to stick with you for the long term. 6. if you disrespect her you may as well throw the relationship out of the window right now. They want a man who has passion and has goals in life and has got the motivation to follow their dreams. 4. Reliability – This is another one high up on the list. You will never be respected once you’ve been unfaithful and there is absolutely no excuse for it. That doesn’t mean to say you let them walk all over you it just means you are in touch with her. Assertiveness – Woman can stand up for themselves very well but they still like a man to be assertive as well. 41 . so grow a pair and stand up for yourself and your wife. 9. 12. 7. 11. Attractiveness – This is something you are born with and it’s also something that is very subjective. Yes. and you know how to handle the emotions. It’s not only respect for her but it’s respect for yourself as well. Women don’t like weak men. Commitment – An absolute must for any long term relationship. work is important but more important is the woman who loves you enough to prepare a meal and make an effort on a Friday night. Everyone has an attractive feature about them and rest assured someone will be attracted to you because of it. just someone who has a sense of humour and exercises it often.3. this is not being reliable. 8. If you are attuned to your partner’s feelings then it shows respect. If you are not committed then there will always be that little doubt in the back of her mind asking if you are really serious about the relationship. That’s not to say you have to be like Robin Williams. Attuned to feelings – For the old fashioned man out there one of the main things you were missing was the ability to stay in tune with your partners feelings. Sense of humour – This one obviously depends on each couple as everybody has a different sense of humour but women like men who can make them laugh. Belief – Believe in your wife/girlfriend and support and encourage her in everything she does. However if you let yourself go and don’t really care about yourself. If she has an evening meal planned for you and you promised you’ll be home by 7 and you come strolling in at 8. If you let people walk all over you then you are not respecting yourself and this is a turn off for women. upsets and excitement etc. you’ll be dropped like a hot potato. Faithful – Shouldn’t even have to be said here. 5. 10. but so many men think they can get away with being unfaithful and it not affect them. Get up and go – Women don’t like men who have no motivation to do anything with their lives.
It was written in the 1930’s but most of the principles still apply today and it is one I often refer to and have several copies lying about the house. Reliving past experiences is debilitating and can literally stunt our mental growth. It might be time to rewrite the books that you have stored. Mentally put the memory in your book and get it stored on the back shelf only to opened on rare occasions. Painful memories that are still raw i. some will never be outdated but a lot of them are outdated and hold irrelevant information about our fears.The Books on The Back Shelf of Your Mind Author: Steven Aitchison We all have fears.e. preferably with a trained counselor. However talking about the event 10 years on is counterproductive and it’s time to stop reading the book. Just like in a library there are books that are timeless and can be read again and again and never be outdated. and our beliefs. Just like a library our thoughts. anxieties. rather cliched but I love it ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill. a few years old need to be talked about in an open way. So it is with the books in our minds. A lot of the time we keep this book on the very front shelf of our library and access it every single day when we re-live traumatic experiences. I am thinking of a particular book that I love. The book of memories The book of memories is a large book in which all our memories are stored and retrieved whenever required. and memories from our past that still haunt us. They are like books stored in a library on the back shelf of our mind. and fears are stored in separate sections and we access the books in each of the sections everyday to help us deal with new experiences in our life. This is in no way 42 . Sometimes the pages of the book become distorted over time and sometimes the pages get ripped out altogether. worries.
discounting the traumatic event you are simply saying to yourself ‘It’s time to move on’. simply because it sells just like the thousands of books about crime they are bestsellers. New. The Book of values and principles This is the book that we access everyday and some people don’t even have this book in their minds. meet new people. I questioned my belief about privacy and respect and made a new belief to respect myself and anybody I was involved with. Question everything and look at your beliefs about everything. Most people believe it is not right to kill another human being that is why we can live in relative peace and harmony. You start by asking the question: What are my beliefs about this subject? if you don’t really have a belief and it’s not important then leave it. The experiences of the weekend were then spoken about with each other and I went along with the crowd at first and after a few times it didn’t sit right with me. if it’s something important to you then form a belief around it but have reasons for it. Over the last few years my wife and I have 43 . and try and pick up a woman (Sorry. Yes. I always took a lot of heat for that but I stuck to my guns. have a drink. This does not mean we don’t have values and principles it simply means we may not know what they are and have never voiced them in any way. puish beyond your comfort zone or get back in touch with family and good friends to start depositing happier memories in your book. To question your own beliefs it’s important to question others beliefs as well and then make your own decisions and find out where you stand on certain topics. reliving your past everyday will only halt your mental growth and you will be stuck for as long as you keep reliving old events. it’s true there are a lot of people out there who kill but they are few and far between and the media sensationalize the people who do. Having values and principles helps us to focus on the person we want to be and the person we would like to become. more happier. therefore leading us to believe the world is a bad place to live. that was my mentality when I was younger). I believe the media can help to fuel a murderers motivation to kill. I honestly do and I have taken a lot of stick for this viewpoint. For example when I was younger I used to go out with a group of friends every weekend (that was when the weekend started on a Thursday night) and our main goal was to have a good time. but is it really a bad place to live? we have to question the media’s motives for printing stories of people who murder others. memories should be stored in the book as often as possible and I think it’s important to push yourself to get out. The book of beliefs Beliefs shape our lives and make us the person we are today and it’s important to revisit our beliefs regularly and keep them up to date. From then on I always kept my experiences with the girls to myself as I didn’t feel it was right to discuss intimate details with everyone. How do we do this? As you walk along the path of life you will come across experiences that don’t quite sit right with you and this can be a time to question and reposition your beliefs.
The trouble sometimes some people have is that they stop learning after coming out of school or university. open and fresh to new ideas. 44 . However we know our son very well and always knew when he was lying.g. The book of you ‘The book of you’ essentially contains everything that makes you YOU. everything I have written about above and all the little quirks and personality traits. computer or xbox for the day. To help you choose values you can look at the list below. It contains your sense of humour. To teach him this value he would always be given a punishment for lying e. We would also reward him for telling the truth and thanked him for his honesty. he may have still got into trouble but far less trouble than he would have if he had persisted with a lie. metaphorically. no TV. If you actively seek to learn new information whether it be on the computer or going back to college or university then do it if you can. or rather they stop actively looking to learn new things and form a belief that once you get past a certain age your brain can’t handle new information. Over the last few years he has learned that lying does not help and that telling the truth. once we stop seeking to learn new things our brains become. was always the best way. This is not the case at all. the more we use our brains to learn the healthier it will become. spend a little time alone to get back in touch with yourself and keep being you and keep being as authentic as possible. about big things and silly little things. it will keep your mind young. and some of them you will already be living you just might need to solidify them. atrophied. The book of knowledge This book stores everything you have learned over your lifetime and like the book of beliefs you use it everyday as a way of gaining more knowledge and learning from new experiences. This really is the information age we are living in and the human brain is literally evolving into being able to store more information and in a more efficient way.e. Imagine our parents having to learn everything we have learned in our lifetime it just wouldn’t have happened however because our children are used to the amount of information they have to learn they don’t know any different so they get on with learning and their belief is that they can learn new things simply because they have to. no matter the consequences.taught our youngest son the value and principle of honesty. Spend a little time reading the book of you i. The book of knowledge should be updated everyday. it contains the very soul of you. Decide on a few values at a time. A lot of children go through this and they are basically pushing the boundaries to find out what they can get away with and that’s part of growing up. At a young age he was prone to lying. You will find that living this way has a tremendous impact on your life. your preferences about life. Pick the values you would like to have in your life and try and live by those values.
37 Ways to communicate better with your children
Author: Steven Aitchison How often have you asked your kids ‘How was school today?’ and the reply was ‘it was okay!’ and that’s it. My youngest son just started high school today and my wife and I have been nervous and anxious for him, although we’ve been careful not to show him this. I took a day off work so I could spend a little longer with him when dropping him off for school and then to pick him up again. It was heartbreaking to watch him go into school, ‘He’s all grown up.’ I thought with a little lump in my throat, It’s like time is slipping by and before we know it he’ll be a grown man. Well, when I went to pick him up, I was all excited and asked: ‘Well, how did it go?’ ‘It was okay’ he said smiling, knowing I wanted to hear all about it. I eventually got some blood from the stone and he told me about it in dribs and drabs, however he seemed to enjoy it and has made a few friends already which is always good. My other son, who is in his 3rd year at high school is exactly the same and sometimes I can’t even get blood from that stone. I advised them that we have spent weeks worrying and feeling anxious for them and all we ask in return is a little information about their day at school. So I advise them to give a little more and not have my wife beat the hell out of them just to get a little info. My wife duly comes home, practically running in to see how they got on at school and thankfully they were a little more open.
I guess it’s just boys being boys, I remember being exactly the same and always wondered why my mum was so interested in my school activities. My niece, on the other hand, talks at 100 miles per hour and talks for hours. here’s a few tips I have learned over the years about communicating with children: 37 Ways to communicate better with your children 1. Always be interested in their day, even if they don’t want to tell you anything. 2. Pay attention to them and make them feel as if they are the only person in the room when they speak to you. 3. Make time to sit down with them in a relaxed manner to allow them to open up more. 4. Sit down for family meals (One of the best decisions we made was to always make it a rule to all sit round the dinner table together). 5. Keep eye contact to show you are listening. 6. Don’t dismiss the little things they tell you about. 7. Keep close to them when they are talking, don’t have a conversation whilst you are in the kitchen and they are in their room. 8. Show them you love them and always tell them you love them. 9. Tell them you believe in them often. 10. Children are not your friends and letting them off with the small things could lead to bigger problems in the future. 11. Always listen to their side of the story if there are any arguments or rows going on. 12. Praise them with every single thing they do well. 13. Be as open and honest as possible with them about EVERYTHING. 46
14. If you have more than 1 child make time so you can spend time alone together, even if it’s driving to the shops.
15. Read between the lines. Kids have a way of telling you something without directly telling you. 16. Don’t interrupt children when they are trying to tell you something. 17. Ask their opinion on something that’s important to you and them. 18. Tell them about your day and encourage discussion. 19. Give them a hug at least 200 times per day 20. Always say please and thank you when speaking to your kids, they will develop manners this way. 21. Encourage them to voice their opinion on the big family decisions, like buying a house, a car etc. 22. Tell them stories of when you were younger, kids always want to hear this. 23. Play games with them as much as possible. 24. Step into their world for a bit and get to learn what they like. 25. Become a child for a day and just have a toy fight, pillow fight, wrestle, and do the silly things that kids do. 26. Respect their privacy, always knock. 27. Give them unexpected presents.
30.Take them to where you grew up and tell them about it. Let them find their own hobbies and encourage them in finding them. they’ll grow a lot quicker. that little bit longer than you normally would. Just love them for the little individuals they are. Let let go up the down escalator 29. 33. just love them! 48 .even when they didn’t quite make but tried their best. 31. Let them have their own style and find it themselves. 37. Just hold them. Stand back to let them them make their own mistakes. 32. Don’t make them wear a jacket if they don’t want to even when it’s raining. be proud of them . 36. Forgive them as they forgive you.28. 35. 34.
more than likely you wouldn’t. What about honesty? what about being authentic? What about having compassion for others? What about working hard? These are all values and principles you live your life by. You might now know all your values and principles but you certainly know some of them. Knowing your mind is knowing what values and principles you live by. Unless you know the operating system you can’t buy software for your computer and if you do chances are it will malfunction or not work at all. Here are a few suggestions to debug your mind of those little bugs that make your life less than perfect. only there is no debugging manual for the mind. so that is one of the values you live by – I shall not steal from someone else. 49 . 9 Ways to debug your mind 1.9 Ways to debug your mind Author: Steven Aitchison Just like your computer your mind gets cluttered up with unnecessary or outdated code which makes it run slower or even ruins a few pieces of software and eventually causes your computer to shut down. Know your own mind – Know your operating system Not knowing your own mind is like not knowing what operating system your computer uses. By looking at and developing each value and principle you can start to strengthen each one. For example would you ever steal from someone. So it is with the mind.
3. sending you tweets. why? Acknowledge that something bad has happened to you and whilst you might never be able to delete the memory you can choose when to access the memory. you know they are there but you might have not made the best use of them. richer life by knowing what your beliefs are and strengthening them to move you forward. harder to do. 4. So it is with beliefs – I believe I am a decent writer but I have never pushed myself to put my writing out there and work on it more and begin to polish it and find my own voice. Sometimes you just have to shut the world out for a bit and take time for yourself and do something you enjoy. in an art gallery. then it’s time to look at this habit and rework it so it suits you better and saves you the anguish and pain of piling on the pounds. don’t tell anybody. when there is so much more I could do with photoshop if I only took the time to learn more about it. Just like your computer if you use the same software without upgrading it you will be missing out on the true potential of the software. it’s now time to let go of the old belief and live the new belief. 5. For example I am now quite a confident person but beliefs from my past try and muscle their way in to my current belief. If your habit is to exercise only after you have noticed you are piling on the pounds and then stop exercising. Easy to say. Your habits need to be constantly upgraded and new ones introduced over time. and touching up photos.2. wanting to googletalk or talk to you on skype. For example I have photoshop on my computer but I really only use it for cropping. Shut everything down and take time for yourself. Take a day off work. walking. Work on your beliefs – Learn the software Are some of your beliefs outdated? Your beliefs about yourself and the world around you are constantly being updated but you can speed the process up and enjoy a fuller. Dropping past memories – Deleting old files Memories you have which can be harmful to your well being are best dropped altogether. then that is a different story but if the memories are years old then it’s time to hit DELETE. skype. that will never do you or the computer any good but you choose to go into the folder and open the files up every day. The time we spend alone is time recharging our batteries. Learn new habits – Upgrade your software Our habits can also become outdated and if we do the same as we have always done we will always get the same results. anything just to be yourself. If the memories are still raw. our families. send the kids to school and spend the day reading. and chat software Our lives have become so busy with 1001 things to do for our kids. It’s like having old files on your computer. It’s like every time you go on the computer and there are people sending you emails. 50 . It’s time for the delete button. and friends. There are also some beliefs that no longer serve me well so I should drop them. our work. Some people spend a lifetime in therapy trying to understand why something happened from their childhood. Take time for yourself – Shutdown your emails. our partners. browsing shops. Your beliefs are like the software you have on your computer.
6. Another thing I would recommend is reading about philosophical issues. Developing thinking skills – What language is your computer using? Your computer software is only as good as the language it is written in. it could be pity. Our thinking skills are vital to be able to communicate with each other to get our thoughts across to someone else. It’s important to look at thinking as a skill in order to develop it. but you still keep in touch for some reason. I think this is a great 51 . Imagine if you were to keep using the Wordpress software which came out all those years ago. So if you look at it from the point of view that you are saving at least 20 minutes per day instead of losing 40 minutes per day this might change your mind about meditation. which is way to big to go into in a post this size. 8. are not as committed as you. As computer languages have evolved programmers have written software with the ability to predict what may happen and ‘if’ something happens what to do about it. Recharge your mind – Putting your computer on sleep mode We are living in an age of information overload and as we learn to adapt and evolve to this we have to find a way to recharge our minds. 20 – 40 minutes per day will do wonders for your energy. now there is so much more Wordpress can do and the current version on 2. more more productive and have more energy. Keep your mind active – Learn new software Our minds can become dull with the drudgery of life and going over the same things day in day out. Imagine if all software was still written in an old computer language how far would computing have evolved – not very far at all. is some form of meditation. whilst we were not taught thinking skills formally.4 is so much more powerful. it could be guilt or misplaced loyalty.8. The 40 minutes spent on meditating will free up at least 1 hour of your time during the day by recharging your mind and being able to think more clearer. We become bored and settle for a less than perfect life. Our minds need to keep active and constantly learning new information in order to keep on working in later life. we have developed thinking strategies over the course of our lives. Dropping the deadwood – Delete user permissions As hard as it sounds there are some people in our lives who do not belong in our lives anymore. are negative. I find. if there are people in your life who drag you down. Using cognitive brain enhancing programs are one way to develop thinking skills as is reading more on the topic. it’s called life and you will both feel better for it. If we constantly learn new things about our world and the people in it the world and life will not seem dull. One of the best ways of doings this. it’s time to say goodbye to them. When I have mentioned this in the past some people object stating that they cannot get 40 minutes to spend on meditating. 7. Whatever it is. you’ve moved on perhaps they have to. Change the user permissions on the computer and lock them out. 9. They will move on and you will move on. productivity and creativity. your blogs or websites wouldn’t be all that exciting.
52 .exercise to develop thinking skills and can lead you to places in your mind you didn’t know existed.
co. It’s also the act of moving forward toward a desired goal. 6 reasons why you should get a life. He is a member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council. while obstacles are things standing in our way that must be removed. Remember. circumvented or surmounted. quit your job. 6 reasons why you should be happy and 6 reasons why you should go to the toilet (laugh).6 Obstacles Progress. an accredited professional counsellor with the Counselling Society and the author of Expanding Your Horizons. Editors Note: This is a guest post from Ayo Olaniyan from Discovering Purpose I am starting a series this month titled 6 obstacles. 6 things and 6 reasons. 6 things you should know about yourself.co. growth or development in a positive way.discoveringpurpose. fall in love… I am hoping to target areas such as 6 obstacles threatening your progress. it's about creating a purpose driven life through personal development. Several bloggers have written on various topics such as 10 reasons why you should blog.’ 53 . According to the elook online dictionary ‘progress means the gradual improvement.uk. please visit www. If you would like to enquire about personal and professional one-to-one coaching sessions.uk or send an email to ayo@discoveringpurpose. Threatening Your Author: Ayo Olaniyan Ayo Olaniyan is a certified Unitive™ Life Coach and Counsellor.
. Inconsistency: In order to attain the desired level of progress we have pictured. the list is endless. We are afraid to make changes for the following reasons: • • • • • We don’t want to be pushed out of our comfort zone into the unknown We lack the desire to experience change. Developing the qualities we desire. you should be open to suggestions before disregarding any which may not be suitable for you. change is the process or result of becoming different. Think of the worst case scenarios which could occur and find alternative solutions to them.We often want to make progress in our jobs.t. motivation and commitment. business. from anyone. I was going to do that. In a positive context.’ the focus here is to be open to ‘constructive contributions’. level of reasoning are completely closed to new ideas or suggestions BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT READY OR WILLING TO BE TAUGHT.c but we must realise that there are subtle obstacles that stand in the way of our progress. but I would do my best to summarize it. with families…. If you want to increase your chances of being successful or making a change for the better. What are these obstacles? The Claim to Know Everything: This relates to people who think they know it all and refuse to accept advice or information that would enhance their productivity. finances. Those who claim to know everything make statements such as ‘I knew that already. We feel we may lose our rights as individuals and possibly get exploited. pictures of the future. we need constant practice. it might be useful to think on the following tips: • • • Think on the positive impacts that would be achieved from experiencing change Picture someone else in your shoes knowing if they handled change positively. personal development. Of course we need to strike a balance before everyone starts listening to time wasters offering ‘random suggestions. We’ve become conditioned due to an emotional/physical trauma we’ve experienced in the past. The Fear of Change: This is a topic in its own right. you can. hearts. eating habits. It’s a transformation or transition from one level of development to another. behaviour. programs etc we’ve implemented to see such results. It’s wonderful to have great ideas. I agree with you but I am sure there’s another way…. We associate change with anxiety and nervousness. Their minds. We desire to experience or make changes in various aspects of our lives but it requires drive. think positively e. attaining a high level of personal growth/development requires a constant repetition of successful behaviours. We get better and excel in certain projects by being consistent in our 54 . imagined or is striving towards. exercising. When we get to a crossroad and we sincerely want to make a change. skills.
In order to develop good habits. I would have been rich if I didn’t get married to you(laugh. We don’t want to get embarrassed. I have got three words for you: JUST DO IT Negative Thinking: We would always experience tough challenges in life and the easiest obstacle that confronts us is getting drowned in negative thoughts and pessimism. I would have passed my exams if you didn’t……. It’s common to hear statements such as. methods and character. On a final note. Dealing with negative thoughts when faced with stiff opposition requires perseverance. ‘Just Do It’. These obstacles will be crossed as long as you remain diligent. wishing you never went down certain routes.. **Remember DOING NOTHING. constant positive thoughts – looking at alternative solutions/suggestions to dealing with the present situation. I would have succeeded if only my …. The list grows!!!! STOP IT TODAY!!!! REALISE OUR LIVES ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITIES. We are afraid to take actions for the following reasons: • • • • We lack self confidence. As you make progress there would come a time where the mind is unsettled and uncertain of the future. For us to be effective and yield results in our daily lives. The Blame Game: There’s a tendency to always trade blames on anything and everyone. you’ve GOT TO SHOW SOME OPTIMISM. Sometimes our egos have a way of interfering with us taking responsibilities for certain actions and our only way out. hardworking and persistent in your quest for attaining progress. If we want to excel in any phase of our lives we need to be willing TO DO things differently. I’ve actually heard that). made decisions etc. IS NOT DOING ANYTHING. We are filled with negative thoughts.. believing those steps may not turn out to be successful. To stay on top of your game. We mustn’t be comfortable in acquiring knowledge only but also take that step to practice what we’ve learnt. supported me. There’s a tendency to make bad decisions or judgements based on negative information fed into your mind. we must make an effort to follow certain procedures. it’s compulsory we build them on a daily basis.actions. 55 . is to blame others. do not expect everything to take a turn for progress overnight. Failing to take action: In the last 5-6years I have fallen in love with Nikes slogan. made certain judgements. We are afraid of failing. Footballers go through rigorous amounts of training before any game and a player found unfit on the training field or during the game is sidelined to the bench..
As soon as I started thinking that my passion for the blog and writing diminished a little. that would be a great post’ and I get it down on paper before I forget it. a youtube channel.org. My thoughts are now firmly on writing and over the last two weeks I have written over 10. I have added new features to this blog. My thoughts are all on writing just now and reaching that goal.000 words in posts. and joined a forum for A-ListBloggers. What has given me the drive? There are 3 things that are driving this passion right now 56 . produced two videos. It’s a very tall order but one I feel I will reach. I have written a guest post for Lifehack.000 subscribers by the end of the year. even when I am at work I am thinking ‘oh. Zenhabits and DumbLittleMan (2 have not been published yet). it’s a hunger from the minute I wake up. set up a facebook profile. I have banished the Google ads and have just bought the Thesis theme to make the blog more simple in style (don’t know when that will be ready as I am still working on it). sent off an article as a freelancer. That was around 15 days ago and I still don’t know how I am going to reach that figure. When I see that I have only added around 100 subscribers in two weeks I was starting to think ‘I think I might have made a bit of a fool of myself by stating my goal of 10.5 Ways to inject some passion into your goals Author: Steven Aitchison Recently I wrote an article describing my goal to reach 10. tweeted my little beak off. I honestly don’t know how I can do this I just feel it. Now that I have caught that thought I put even more effort in.000 subscribers’. which may or may not work.
1. if they say no. If you see someone you are competing with and they are doing well. Have a picture in your mind of you reaching your goal and the rewards it will bring. every single time. a drive you need to reach that goal no matter what. I want to write it now and I want to find a way to write in my sleep. A big hairy measurable goal 2. then move on to someone else who can help but always make it a win-win so you both gain out of the partnership. look at what they are doing.000 subscribers) 5 ways to inject some passion into your goals Have a goal in mind You can’t have passion in your life if you don’t have a goal or goals. throw away the bits that don’t and keep improving bit by bit. get some guest writers for CYT and write a little more for the blog’ It’s nothing like that. It’s a hunger. Try and make your goal measurable so you’ll know that you’ve reached your goal at the end of all your hard work. Do this especially when you are feeling a bit down and things aren’t going quite the way you planned. A passion for writing 3. There are always people who are willing to help you if they feel your passion and hunger so ask other people to help you. You find out what works for you. Small goals can be a one man show. Speak about it I have spoken to my wife about my goals for the next five months and she has asked some great questions one of them being ‘What are you going to get out of it?’ honestly I don’t know I just know I have to do it. big goals need an audience. Obsess about it I can’t believe how obsessed I have become about writing over the last two weeks. At first i thought ‘I’ll write a few guest posts. Reach out Reach out to other people who can help you reach your goals even your competition. break it down into little pieces and emulate each piece. 57 . The avoidance of pain (being made to look stupid if I don’t reach my goal of 10. Small changes 100 incremental changes can make a huge difference on your goal whereas 1 big change might not make that much of a difference.’ Think about your goal often and every single day. It’s like ‘I want to write the best post ever. So if you have friends and family who are willing to listen speak about your goals or join a forum who have people with similar goals to yours.
58 .What are your goals? What are your goals right now and how are you injecting passion into them? Why not share your thoughts with the readers and help them out.
Like you. she writes at her popular The Personal Excellence Blog and gives coaching to others who are passionate about achieving personal excellence. I graduated from my business school as the top student in my major (I was in marketing). I firmly believe that all of us are here to achieve greatness. In my career. To be human is to live to our highest potential. to be the best that we can be and to shake and move the world. the state of excelling.5 Ways Excellence To Achieve Personal Author: Celestine Chua Celestine Chua chose her passion when she left her high paying Fortune 100 career in 2008 to help others grow. nothing more satisfying than looking back at who you are now and realizing that you have grown much more than you thought you could. When I was in school. 101 Most Inspiring Quotes of All Time and Cultivate Good Habits in 21 Days. I was constantly striving for the best. after being pit against hundreds of applicants and evaluated in multiple rounds of tests and interviews. Excellence is one of my top values in life and is something which I hold myself towards ever since I was a kid. I secured placement in the best company in the world for marketers. eminence: Are you someone who strives for excellence? If you are reading this post. chances are you are . There is nothing more satisfying than overcoming a challenge that was previously deemed insurmountable. Personally. Editors Note: This is a guest post from Celestine Chua of The Personal Excellence Blog Excellence – noun. Even as I ultimately chose to quit my corporate job last year. Today. I’m someone who endlessly strives for excellence. it was a 59 . superiority. Some of her most popular articles to date: 50 Ways to Boost Your Productivity.
producer and screenwriter. he was living out what others would deem as a ‘paltry’ existence as a wannabe actor. Before he was propelled to stardom with the Rocky series. When you stay in an area of comfort. Comfort zones are called comfort zones because it’s where you feel safe and comfortable. And he finally did – today. there will always be opportunity to improve and be better. Because of his birth complication where he was born with a side of his face paralyzed and a slurred speech. He firmly believed that he would be able to make it as an actor – not just an actor. It’s said that it takes someone 10.000 hours? No matter how much time and effort we have already spent in developing ourselves. 2) Keep Building Your Skills The path to excellence is a continual one which requires constant upgrading and skills development. and even his wife left him. Know that there is no one else but you who can attain what you want to do. This would never have happened if he gave up his self-belief. he is an internationally acclaimed movie star.000 hours of practice to reach the top in his/her discipline.decision made to wholly pursue my passion in personal development and helping others to achieve personal excellence. some of the skills which I target to build for the upcoming few months are (1) Writing (2) Public Speaking (3) Productivity (4) Discipline (5) Organizational Skills (6) Badminton. he became poor as a pauper. One of my favorite stories is Sylvester Stallone’s real-life rags to riches story. film director. In my years of pursuit of personal excellence. if you 60 . Have you invested your 10. you subject yourself to things you have become accustomed to – which leads to little or no growth. you are already growing by default. “What the mind can conceive. but a movie star. How about yours? 3) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone When you are out of your comfort zone. At some point. how do you expect anyone else to believe in you? If you want to achieve greatness. it can achieve”. you have to first believe that you are capable of doing it. If you don’t believe in yourself.000 hours to develop your skills? If you haven’t. But he never gave up. For example. but have yet to acquire. As Napoleon Hill puts it. he was rejected by countless casting agents in his quest for his dreams. when can you start investing the time? If you have. Think about the skills which you possess at the moment as well as skills which you would like to have. I have found 5 timeless steps in ensuing my own growth which I’d love to share with you here and I hope will be useful to you: 1) Believe in Yourself Self belief is the utmost important step. On the other hand. how can you invest another 10.
You will find yourself improving by leaps and bounds just from framing yourself together with them. 4) Be Around the Best. you are going to emerge a different person compared to if you hang around people who are jaded and are constantly lamenting about life. you can be connected with them by virtue of exposing yourself to outputs of their work – books. Above all. soar. If you hang around people who are committed to excellence. 5) Set Huge Goals.move beyond that area of comfort. standard goals which you know you will definitely be achieving with a certain amount of work and effort. Be focused on the amount of growth you get and don’t be attached to the specific outcomes. These are the goals which will really make you stretch yourself. We’re talking about the humongous goals which make you feel somewhat nervous and uncomfortable on whether it’s possible to even attain them. Cut yourself loose from people who don’t support you and increase your contact with the people who do. Even if you don’t eventually get to nail them in the bag. etc. you start facing things which you are not exposed to before. because the outcomes don’t define who you are – Who you are define who you are. This means growth. and then beam with an incredible lot of satisfaction when you do achieve them. Who you are with has a role in affecting who you become. Not the normal. or even possibly the world as you move forward on your endeavors. the most important thing to realize is you have grown a lot more than if you set puny goals and achieved them. even by a little bit. I love this quote from Jim Rohn. start linking up with the top chefs of your country. Emphasis on the word huge. which I feel sums this up – “You are the average of the five people you are around“. What are your comfort zones when it comes to your work? Environment? Diet? Daily routines? Places you go to? Clothes you wear? People you hang out with? Your goals? How can you change them around just to experience something different? How can you push yourself to an uncomfortable zone so you can grow? The more uncomfortable you feel about something. This new context and new stimuli triggers off a reprocessing process in your mind as you adapt to handle them. shows. connect yourself with the best – the cream of the crop. interviews. sets themselves up to achieve nothing but the best. If you have a goal to be a chef with your very own restaurant. 61 . Even if it’s not possible to be personal friends. the more it means you are growing.
You see in our house I have my own sock drawer but apparantly my wife and two boys seemed to think it was a communal sock drawer and they were forever stealing my socks. it seemed the sock devil would come in the night and discard a few socks which meant we never got to wear matching socks and it was messing with my mind. my thoughts were ‘it will be difficult to lose socks that had matching colours and days of the week on them’ so there should be no problem finding a matching pair after they had been washed. After a few ‘hey. in our house we never had a matching pair of socks.Wear your red socks Author: Steven Aitchison Might seem a strange title for a blog post. So when we were out shopping for some things for the house. they’re my socks!’ moments and me chasing my sons around the house to get my socks off (inevitably they would hide and then pounce on me when I found them and beat the living socks out of me!). seemingly. when I bought the new ones with the days of the week. 62 . I wanted to talk about how little things can change your mindset and how you can learn to change something. It was the socks that had different colours on the toes and heals but these ones also had the day of the week on the arch. I gave up and now we all share the same socks. However chasing my wife around the house was a differnt story. Last year it was time to get a few new pairs of socks as the trusty old black ones were fast becoming grey. I noticed a 7 pair pack of socks and picked them up. insignificant to change the way you feel. So. Now.
my tuesday ones on tuesday etc. I know a lot of women in particular wear certain clothes depending on the way they feel. I was trying hard to keep it together and match them all up as soon as they came out the washing. After a few months of this and a few more sock packs I started wearing my Saturday ones on a tTursday and when I felt really adventurous I wore them on a Wednesday. my wife didn’t wear them as she didn’t really like them. my youngest son thought it would be quite quirky to wear unmatching ones. It then became a little family joke. I noticed that I felt better after slipping on those red Saturday socks no matter what day of the week it was because I had associated them with the weekend. whenever we felt a little down or stressed just ‘Put the red socks on’. it was the weekend and I felt great. free time and time with my family. me eldest son was experimenting on the hypothesis that socks may actually be able to start walking themselves if he wore them long enough. And guys. When Saturday came around it was a great feeling just rolling my Saturday socks on. remember the times when you used to go out scouting for girls saying ‘I feel lucky tonight I’ve got my lucky boxer shorts on…’ or ‘my lucky shirt on’. I would wear my Monday ones on Monday. The power of association This is the power of association in action and shows we can give power to anything to make us feel better. 63 .Family quirkiness Here’s what happened.
I want to give up my full time job to do my internet work at home. roughly 100 subscribers per month. that I am still un-focused when it comes to my internet life. but I have been saying this for 2 years now 64 . I look at my contemporaries like Leo Babauta. I remember a conversation Leo and I had a few years ago whilst part of a personal development network. write more for the blog and a few other things. I received numerous replies but Leo wrote back with a few home truths and basically said I need to write more guest posts. he started blogging in 2007 and now has 120. Focus on your main tasks It all comes down to focusing on the things we really want. I asked how I could improve my blog and make it better.The power of Focus Author: Steven Aitchison For the last few years I have been writing for CYT and building a small business creating binaural beats and working on lots of other little projects. FOCUS.000 subscribers 2 successful ebooks. implement the idea and then work on it now and again. I realize I have been doing this with my blog. Now. I have come to realize. some people might think that is good but it’s really quite bad. I have been writing for 3 years in August and have managed to get 3500 subscribers to CYT. a publishing deal and writes for numerous blogs and I ask myself what’s the difference between me and Leo?. only recently. Once I get an idea in my head I chase it. boy I wished I had listened. At the time ZenHabits has a few hundred subscribers and I had about 1200.
I have cut all the ideas down to 3 projects and focus solely on them. so instead of getting 100 subscribers per month I need to get 1300 subscribers per month. This is a tool for writers is basically it’s a black screen and all you can do is write as there are no distractions. a black screen and green text and I have to say it’s amazing for keeping my concentration focused on my writing. This is a great achievement for me. A few months ago I implemented the ideas and just did it. How will I achieve this? By writing quality content every day for the blog. Decision time For the past few weeks I have been looking at my internet life and getting rid of all the projects I have started and cut them down to three main projects. Book review section – This will review books by personal development bloggers out there and there are some great ones on the way ‘Sunday Siesta’ – This has already started and is a great feature on this blog. A few years ago I would have all these ideas and do nothing about them except for analyse them and give reasons why it wouldn’t work. I actually had 17 small projects on the go (and I wonder why I was buzzing all the time). however I have not focused long enough on any of the ideas to reach my goal. • • • • ‘Ask the coach’ – A joint project with Ayo Olaniyan ‘5 minute fix’ – A video section of the blog offering 5 minute personal development tips.500 subscribers in 5 months. 65 . So. you can sort of see the evolution of my focus here and now it’s getting down to the nitty gritty of focusing. no icons at the bottom of the screen it’s just you. I have also started using a tool called DarkRoom. Now.and bringing in an extra $1500 per month is not enough for me to give up my full time job. Binaural-Mind site and my Lucid Dreaming project. They are. That’s 6. a new post will be posted every single day by either myself or a guest poster and new features will be added to the blog such as. Admittedly when I first started I wasn’t bringing in anything and an extra $1500 per month is great but it’s not enough. A bold statement By December 31st 2009 I will have 10. I have a plethora of ideas buzzing around my head at any one time and all of them would help me reach my goal of working full time from home. And I know I will do this by focusing my attention more on the blog. My Blog.000 subscribers That’s not a pie in the sky statement and dream I have this is a goal I will achieve by the end of the year. I will also start guest posting for other bigger blogs out there to get my name known again. a 1200% increase on my current monthly subscriber rate.
You could tweet. Look out 10k here I come 66 . I’m always looking for guest authors and I have a few lined up already which is great. In return I will always give you quality advice and help when I can. stumble and delicious my posts.How you can help me out Well.
and desired to repeat your success. will convince you otherwise.” Reminisce the feeling associated with your success achievement. If that were the case. Everyone Would do it Success is a favorable or desirable outcome. focus on progress only. If you focus on the end result as you defined success. and are not reaching success. the attainment of wealth or favor. with rewards for each step of the way on your path to success.com. achieving a “desirable outcome. Success is a feeling and can be created and recreated again and again. everyone would do what it takes for success. most people have achieved a level of success in some part of their lives. not even you. Maybe someone convinced you that you can’t do what you set out to do and you folded and listened to them. otherwise. and 67 . Get out of your head that the successful are gifted or that they were handed their success on a silver platter. wealth or other. Tip #3: Create. You might have given up because it was too hard. If something doesn’t work. evaluate and then refine. You may think that you don’t know enough to be successful. always. enjoying in the feeling of accomplishment. but it is definitely not an easy thing to accomplish. As you reach for your next goal.com as well as her blog GrowAbundantLife. evaluate. and recreate. too much work. Life is about recreating yourself. you might have lost sight of the end goal. Each daily accomplishment is a small success story on the way to the bigger success story. Tip #4: Success can be for anyone. find a way to recreate. If you have been striving for success in an area of your life. In fact. you will keep striving for it and no one. they really haven’t achieved success. perseverance. inspired to achieve more. If Success was Easy. Success is different for everyone.If success was easy everyone would do it Author: Francesca Kotomski Driven with my desire to do and see all that the world has to offer. rather than fold. You must have been very happy. Here are some tips to create success in your life: Tip #1: Enjoy and celebrate each moment on the way to success. rewarding yourself every small step of the way. You create. or maybe you think that you don’t deserve your goal in the first place. You may have thought that it wasn’t really that difficult to achieve success or maybe it was the hardest thing you did. as defined Webster’s Dictionary. Tip #2: Keep the end in mind. Keep up this pattern. Visit Francesca’s online biz here WebSimpleMoney. Success takes work. Troubleshoot or recreating is very similar. Success doesn’t have to be associated with wealth attainment.
Follow every tip given here. focus on your end result and you will enjoy success! 68 . Know that you can. Everyone Would do it. and you will achieve your goal. Visualize your goal. Be positive and remain on the path to success! When you see “If Success was Easy. knowledge or other factors. You will remain on the path and you will achieve your success. Tip #5: Success is all about mindset.determination.” you may think that it’s too hard to achieve and you might just give up. height. It doesn’t matter your education. It can be for anyone that wants it bad enough. and you will be even closer.
what a revelation (sarcastic tone there) . my clients. my wife and my children. I do counselling work for a living and being intolerant of certain types of people is not a good thing and that will come across to the person who is talking to me. recently I thought about what people like this have to teach me. I am a great listener and that comes across when someone is speaking to me and I suppose that’s a good thing if you are doing counselling of any kind. how is this relevant? Well. 69 .it infuriates me to be around people like this and usually I avoid them like the plague. What am I teaching them about themselves? If someone who has a dark outlook on life is talking to me and I am giving them vibes that I don’t like talking to them this is going to re-enforce their belief about themselves that nobody likes them. the world is a dark place etc etc.One lesson and six billion teachers Author: Steven Aitchison Recently I have been looking at the way I interact with people. particularly anybody who is energy draining. However. you know the type of people who think everything is a hassle and the whole world is against them and nothing ever goes right for them . I recently had a chance to talk to someone like this in depth and had to hold it together long enough to ask myself ‘what is this person teaching me about myself?’ and the next question is ‘What am I teaching them about themselves?’. my mentors. The answers were quite surprising to me. However I have noticed that I am also quite impatient with certain types of people. What is this person teaching me about myself? I am intolerant of negative people – wow!. my work colleagues.
It’s those moments that make us grow as people and we can’t change overnight but we can have lots of a-ha moments which help to shape our lives. He didn’t really think he had a dark outlook on life and it was a bit of a revelation to him as well. I was there to ask him a simple question ‘Why is your world so dark?’ This is exactly the question I asked him and he was taken aback when I asked that. The next few sessions revealed that he had changed the way he looked at life and constantly asked himself what he would do if he was a positive person. obviously there were still dark moments but he was much more able to cope with them. That person was there to teach me patience. to teach me tolerance and I had to remind myself of that.What I did to change I looked at the person in a different light. Everyone is a teacher This was a great lesson for me and it’s one of those moments that changed a certain aspect of me for a lifetime. We spoke about it for a while and by asking that simple question he was able to change almost instantly as his perception of his world had changed. What is someone trying to teach you? 70 .
especially wealth. This is not greed it’s a desire to reach their potential. This is without doubt one of the biggest lies we have been told as children. James Dyson. Greed is defined in the ‘New Oxford English Dictionary’ as: ‘Intense and selfish desire for something.The energy of money and how to make more of it Author: Steven Aitchison The pursuit of making more money has an energy to it. So their goal is not to make more money it is a by-product of their goal of achieving more in their life. settings up schools. giving knowledge and time to the younger generation. Warren Buffet and Tony Robbins to name but a few. that and Santa Claus (I was gutted when I was told that Santa was a lie and I was 23 imagine how children feel!) You’ve more than likely heard these sayings in your life: • • • • • • ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees you know’ ‘We can’t afford it’ ‘Money can’t buy you happiness’ ‘The rich get richer and the poor get poorer’ ‘To make more money you have to work harder’ ‘Money is the root of all evil’ Until you rid yourself of the guilt of trying to better yourself financially you can’t begin to create more money into your life. with the possible exception of Warren Buffet who is an investment genius. watching and listening to them on interviews it is clear their goal is not to make more money but to feel alive by building on their brand and their customer loyalty. However when reading their biographies. Is money the root of all evil? We have been programmed to believe that the pursuit of money is bad and it’s not good for the soul. If you are focused and have clear goals in mind and you concentrate on them every day and take action you can and will create more abundance in your life. power or food.’ If your goal is to create more money into your life simply for your own selfish 71 . They are also philanthropists and they give back a hell of a lot to the world in the form of donations. which is what Abraham Maslow speaks about in his ‘hierarchy of needs’ theory. I am thinking of people like Richard Branson. Greed is a different animal altogether. Greed and money Thinking of some of my heroes I used to think why would they try and make more money when they obviously don’t need it. We’ll speak about four steps to creating more money in your life a bit later but for now I’d like to speak about the difference between greed and making more money.
However we as a nation are perpetuating the situation by not spending the way we used to and if we are really honest our situation has not really changed we still earn the same monthly income. from the beginnings of selling sweets in the playground to where I am now. the price of food is the same. I still want to make more money and be financially able to do whatever I want but I am closer to my goal than when I first started out. on the internet or in newspapers we would be in this situation right now. knowledge. Money is the pathway to freedom for yourself and for others in your life. There is enough money in the world for everyone to thrive and that includes you.needs then life will be empty after a while.this could go on and on. Yes this is an overly simplistic view of how the economy works but believe me when I say there are people out there making millions because the herd have listened to the media. It’s time to open up your mind to the possibilities of making more money. and time is something everyone should strive for. when they stay in business it means the banks can lend more money to them to expand therefore keeping the banks in business. the price of cars has gone down so we should be spending the same to keep the economy afloat. I believe. Get rid of this thought as quickly as you can for it will hinder you from making progress in your life’s goal to create more money in your life. when the banks are healthy financially it means they can lend more to people for loans and mortgages. Four steps to creating more money in your life I have learned these lessons the hard way and it has taken me over twenty years to finally be able to understand them. Think of this for a moment: More money in your life will mean you will buy more. Step one – Blasting through your limiting beliefs As I said in the beginning of this post we have been programmed to believe the pursuit of money and wealth is not good. You will have the ability to help more people by being wealthy than you will be by being poor. Giving back something to the world in the form of money. Look at the situation just now and what has happened to the whole economy because the banks have made poor decisions. education. when there is more social housing stock it means people getting out of poverty and bad housing conditions……………………. house builders have stopped building and banks have stopped lending. when mortgages are purchased it means house builders are thriving. when you buy more it means small and large businesses can stay in business. Do you think if the ‘Global Crisis’ was never reported on TV. small businesses are going bust. the price of clothes has gone down. 72 . You were born to reach your full potential and that certainly does not mean living in poverty and scrimping and saving to get by in life. I definitely believe we wouldn’t. when house builders thrive it means more choice for house buyers and more social housing stock. However because a global financial crisis is great news for newspapers they print their horror stories and suddenly people have stopped spending.
there must be others too’. You can certainly row someone else’s boat and that is what most of us do in life. A fantastic example of this is someone who is selling an ebook right now. Now. yes it also means taking more risks and failing more but you will learn a hell of a lot about the world works and how you work and how to better yourself. big or small you can help yourself create more money in your life and help people around the world. Step 4 – Once you’ve made it it’s time to share it I am nowhere near this stage yet but it is my ultimate goal that when I have become wealthy enough to have anything I want in life I will share my successes and teach people how they can emulate my success. That’s not a life it’s an existence. When one person has a dream there are some others who have the same dream. leave and then go to university. This book is doing great and making the owner a lot of money. people have all different kinds of dreams big and small and if you can help people realise their dreams. What I mean by this is create something or pass on knowledge which will help someone else realise their dream. Rowing your own boat means controlling your own life. think big and build yourself up from there. Step 3 – Help someone create their dream Yours dreams are undoubtedly different from mine however the key to making more money in your life is to help people realise their dreams. And now there are hundreds of happy people who had a tiny dream to build their own chicken coop and found someone willing to impart their knowledge for a small fee. you need dreams to follow. leave and then row someone else’s boat by working for them. So you see. you need a vision to hold and passion to drive you. This way the knowledge is always going round and being shared and I cannot think of a better way to enrich the world than by sharing knowledge on how to better create more money in people’s lives. To do this you have to know what you want to do with your life. 73 . then we jump off the boat after 45 years service and retire when it’s almost too late to really enjoy life. We go to school. but the owner of the ebook thought ‘If I wanted to know how to build a chicken coup. You might think this is a crazy idea. the dream the other person has might not be huge but if you help them and they are willing to pay for it then you have helped yourself and someone else at the same time. you can check it out on Google. called ‘How to build your own chicken coop‘. Start small. And I will do this freely to people who have not made it yet and charge for it to businesses who are in the latter stages of step 3.Step 2 – Creating your future You can’t row your own boat until you know your destination. What do you want in life? Now you know what you want you need to know how you get it.
having a fancy car or a big house. never run just walk tall and quickly.29 Ways to increase your feeling of self worth Author: Steven Aitchison Self worth comes from within. 8. develop a reputation as someone who takes pride in their work. 7. 4. Dress as smart as you can for each occasion. meaning we won’t find self worth from external factors. 3. Walk tall and proud. Read a book a month. either on the day or in the past. Take pride in your appearance. Everything you do. Here are some things you can do to increase your feeling of self worth. walk as if you’ve got somewhere to go and you need to be there now. 5. Tell someone else how much you appreciate them. 29 Ways to increase your feeling of self worth 1. Reading a book is actually an achievement in this technology and media driven world and reading a full book is a great way to achieve a sense of accomplishment. having more friends. do to the best of your ability even if it cleaning the toilets or something equally as mundane. Write down 7 minor goals for the week and tick one off each day as you achieve it. At the end of each day before falling asleep write down something you feel proud about. or going for an interview. 74 . meeting a friend. being able to be open and honest is great for self worth. Say no! Learn the skill of saying no without offending the person asking. 6. 9. whether it be work. Do something for yourself every day. you won’t find it by having more money. It is something intrinsic and something we can’t gain extrinsically. 2.
because you have the power to decide! 17. 12. Help other people who need it. Nothing will send your self esteem soaring more so than facing your fears and eventually conquering them. 16. 19. it means they respect you enough to help you with something. Get rid of the people who are dragging you down (I don’t mean kill them. but I’ll give it a go…’ 28. Don’t read a newspaper for a week and gauge how you feel about yourself and the world around you. imagine there are two people one on each shoulder. Forgive yourself! (You know what I mean) 14. 29. 24. Sing at the top of your voice.Why?……….’ say ‘. instead get better at what you are good at. Don’t be afraid to accept help from other people.I’ve never tried it. Start changing your thinking to be more optimistic about yourself. 23. instead of ‘…I can’t do that…. I mean just stop having them in your life. Listen to your self talk and slap the little person criticising you.. Always. this might be hard to do at first but the first time you do it will be immense and if you carry on your self esteem and feelings of self worth will soar. 18. Never let anyone force you to break your core values. Always. 22. Work on your strengths. Speak up for yourself in every area of your life. Stop the gossiping! 21. Listen to other people and what they are saying. Face your fears. I mean it. the one who criticises you give them a slap or a punch in the mouth and start to pay attention to the one who is praising you. There is no need for lies and the energy it takes to continue a lie is unbelievable. 27.) 15... 20. 11. ah! such a good feeling. Always be honest with yourself and others. Take a walk in the rain………. Learn a new skill or take up something you’ve always wanted to and stick with it. 26.10. Always leave comments on a blog you like 75 . Reward your successes. As soon as you achieve something reward yourself. You don’t have long to live so just get up and do it. 25. Take a chance and take a risk or two.) 13. A lot of people focus on building up their weaknesses. not outside but in the house and really give it loads (I love singing Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at the top of my voice.
or work colleagues. prey on people who lack assertiveness and can traumatise the person they subject their bullying tactics on. Dealing with people who intimidate you or belittle you is empowering and can literally change your life. If you feel any of the above are missing from your life then you may have difficulty asserting yourself and expressing yourself.’. Being able to ask for what you want. assertiveness issues creep up everywhere whether it be with friends. It includes: • • • • • Being able to express your opinions and views without feeling self conscious Being able to say ‘no’ to people without feeling guilty about it. What is assertiveness? Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for yourself and to express how you feel when you feel it is necessary. The bully is of course cowardly and lack the backbone to pick on people who they know will stand up to them. However. they’ll think I am being selfish’ ‘I don’t have the right to say how I feel’ 76 . It’s okay saying to someone ‘stand up for yourself’ or ‘you should just say this to them…. Having the ability to take risks when you feel you want and need to. Have you had any of these thoughts? ‘I can’t say no. but to someone who suffers from lack of assertiveness it’s not an easy thing to do and can fill people with dread at the thought of confronting someone with an issue they may have.How to be assertive Author: Steven Aitchison Thousands of people every day are suffering in difficult situations through lack of assertiveness. family. Most commonly the assertiveness problems tend to arise at work and with friends. Bullies. Choosing how you live your life. Some common beliefs about being assertive A lot of the time you may fear being assertive by believing something will happen if you are assertive in situations. without feeling guilty about it.. but how do you do it? This guide will hopefully give you some tools to think about and implement when you feel you need to be assertive in situations. whether at work or at home.
it’s nothing to do with looks.’ ‘I don’t want to cause a scene at work. Let me ask you something at this point. before you jump on the thought ‘but they are better (fill in the blank here) than me’. Who would you most like to be like. or when you really wanted to say no but said yes. and doesn’t really speak up for themselves or lacks self confidence. These people are respected by some people and hated by others.but.’ ‘If I stand up for myself people won’t like me because of it. someone who can be assertive. intelligence. it’s to do with their ability to stand up for themselves at the right time and to know when to apologise and take responsibility at the right time.’ ‘I don’t want the other person to be upset or angry with me. the ones who respect them are more than likely aggressive themselves. someone who others say ‘oh you don’t want to mess with them’ or ‘they are too in your face’. However this is not to say it is a bad thing to blend into the background if that is your choice but you can be assertive and still blend into the background. How do people react to them? I can almost guarantee you that you think they are admired by everyone and everyone seems to like them and get on well with them and they seem to have more people relate to them better than anyone else……. higher position. Those who hate them or dislike them tend to stay out of their way and relate to them very poorly. not aggressive but assertive……. Now think of someone who is sheepish and says yes to everything.‘I am their parent I have to do this for them. the Aggressive one. funnier or anything else. They may not necessarily stand out in the crowd but they are admired and respected for their opinions. Now think of someone who is aggressive.take a moment to really think about them. I know I’ve said this a million times but it’s worth re-iterating.’ Which might help you deal with these types of thoughts.. Think of someone you admire.’ Do you recognise any of these thoughts? Read the article ‘7 Irrational thoughts…. This of course is a fault we humans have but it is sadly true that a lot of people think this way. or didn’t say anything when the idiot at work made you look like a fool. Where does it occur most often? 77 . Look at the times when you feel you really wanted to stand up for yourself but feel you couldn’t. They tend to blend into the background and are often thought of as less significant than others. the Assertive one or the Sheepish one? Look at your problem areas To change anything in your life you first have to recognise where the problem lies.
Answering the questions above will help you see exactly where the problem lies. senior practitioners etc. It could be that you don’t like talking to the opposite sex or feel intimidated. So practice different scenarios in your head about being assertive. (a tip I use is to look at the left eye. not being aggressive. However. If you have not done this before it might take you some time but believe me when you practice it all the time it becomes second nature and you will find you just do it when you need to. then the right and then the mouth) Don’t apologise if it’s not necessary 78 . After you have done the exercise above think about what you think might happen if you did assert yourself in the situations and with the people you thought about. I rehearsed within a few minutes exactly what I was going to say and my tone and hand gestures. She has gotten so good at this over the years that it is second nature to her. academics. If I hadn’t asked the question I would have berated myself all day for not doing so. initially to get you going just practice in your head. Be polite but firm with the person. Rehearsal My wife once told me she plans for almost all eventualities when she meets someone or feels a difficult situation arising. a smart alec or whatever else it’s about knowing you have the right to ask a question or to stand up for yourself. meaning she rehearses what would happen in certain situations and she thinks about her response to it before it has happened. all of whom were qualisfied doctors.Are there certain people you have the most problems with? Is it when you are in a crowd? Is it harder giving compliments or critiscisms or are both difficult? Answering all these questions will help you understand when and with whom the problems of assertiveness arise. I admire her enormously for her quick wit and assertiveness and seeing how people respond to her. it could be you feel intimidated by people in authority. This is being assertive. However I have practiced what I am teaching here and I practice everything in advance if I think a difficult situation might arise. it amazes me sometimes. waited for the right moment and asked my question and as silly as it sounds it felt very empowering. Look at the other person in the eye. but don’t stare at them. For example I was at a seminar a few days ago with around 70 people. I thought about it for a moment and thought if I am thinking of the question and I think it is important then I am going to ask. Take everything the other person says and let it wash over you and remain calm. Here are some tips once you have practiced them in your head and time to put them into practice: • • • • • Keep it straight to the point and don’t over complicate it. I was dying to ask the speaker a question about the topic and to clarify something but felt it might be a silly question.
I get upset when you start shouting at me. for example: I feel you are being very aggressive toward me. Repeating your thoughts on the subject You might not use this very often but it is still a good way to be assertive and get your point across. for example: You: ‘These jeans are torn. Pointing it out to them is a good way for you to take control of the situation.’ Asserting yourself appropriately I have seen a lot of people being very shy and demure and blossom into assertive people which is great however just because you have found this new power to be assertive doesn’t mean to say you have to use it at every opportunity.You may feel nervous going into a situation whereby you know you are going to have to assert yourself. I would like my money back please. Using ‘I’ statements Instead of getting angry at someone for their behaviour and keeping it inside use the ‘I’ statement to let them know what you are thinking. I would like my money back please. this is natural and everybody goes through this and I mean everybody. for example: ‘Why are you raising your voice and pointing in my face. I’ll just refund the money for you.’ Assistant: ‘Well I could replace them for you?’ You: ‘No thanks. This tells the other person your thoughts on the situation rather than let them take control without any feedback which can often fuel their disruptive behaviour. as some people genuinely don’t realise how aggressive they are being.’ Assistant: ‘It’s only a small tear. I would like my money back please.’ The question stops them in their track for a moment and makes them lose their train of thought and to think about their actions. Know when to pick your battles and know when to let it wash over you. I can give you a discount’ You: ‘No thanks. 79 .’ Assistant: ‘Okay. Pointing out someone’s behaviour Something I use which is quite effective is stating what the other person is doing which is making me upset for whatever reason.
it can be the difference between peace and war. It means they have a differing opinion to you which is fantastic as without differing opinions in the world it would be a terrible place to live. 1. 80 . Yes I mean ALL. Yes it’s nice to have other people’s opinions but don’t go out of the way to please other people. Seek approval from yourself and if you’re happy and feel good that’s all that matters. 3. All wars. are caused by irrational thinking. In this post I will look at seven common irrational thoughts and hopefully if you suffer from irrational thinking it will help you to change. however it becomes damaging when it is an entrenched belief. There is no way you can please everybody all the time so there is no point in even trying. You don’t have to be good at everything in your life but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy new experiences even if you are not good at them. If someone criticises me there must be something wrong with me There are many reasons why people criticise each other but it does not mean there is something wrong with you if they do criticise you. I must always seek approval in order to feel good about myself Many people have thought this at one time or another in their lives. I won’t try anything new unless I know I will be good at it Many people suffer from these types of thoughts. It can seperate the successful people in life from the unsuccessful ones.7 Irrational thoughts that disrupt your life Author: Steven Aitchison A lot of us suffer from irrational thinking which can affect our lives in a dramatic way. it can mean the difference between loving someone and hating someone. Trying new things in your life is a way for you to grow and learn more about yourself. 2.
Do not tinge your present and future thoughts with bad memories or else your present and future thoughts will get infected and your life will always stay the same. How to stop your irrational thoughts Simple! Just catch yourself every time you have an irrational thought or self defeating thought and replace the wording of your internal thought. which doesn’t make it true. 81 . why do they always shit on my car” To “It’s about time I got the car washed”. You have qualities that nobody else can touch and other people have qualities that you can’t touch. 6. your past is your past. if there are still issues lurking from your past that is blocking you to feel happy about today speak to someone about it. 7. they think it always happens to them and they must somehow be unworthy of love. but it doesn’t mean you are in any way unworthy it just means your ideals don’t match someone else’s ideals. For example: You are driving on a beautiful day and a bird decides to shit on your car. Take the control back and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. I was rejected which means there is something wrong with me This is over generalising like the person who was rejected in a relationship. 5. You have control over your thoughts and therefore your actions. You thoughts and actions will determine your life. I am inferior to everyone else That’s just the way you feel. It’s not my fault my life didn’t go the way I wanted I have news for you. If I feel happy about life something will go wrong Another common irrational thought. People reject others due to differing ideals. it is your fault. You might think: “that always happens to me. just like you do. Recognising your strengths will build your self confidence recognising others strengths will build their self confidence but don’t put yourself down when recognising that somebody else is better than you at something. If you constantly blame others for the way your life has turned out you have given all your power away to other people.4. You deserve all the happiness you make for yourself. This doesn’t make you bad and it doesn’t mean you are a failure.
If birds always shit on his car his car would be floating in the stuff. “I couldn’t……” e. “I couldn’t walk a mile” (have you tried?).Look for the keywords in there “always”. 82 . I hope this article helps you to catch your irrational thoughts and brings your life into perspective.g. “Oh. I always get caught in the rain (If that were true you’d be a fish) “I never……………………” e.” (usually said whilst talking to a group of friends). “Isn’t it terrible that it’s raining?” (Eh! No.” (If that were true you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere in your car without stopping). So catch yourself with untrue statements such as: “always” e. this is an untruth. “It’s terrible……” e.g. There are a lot more irrational thoughts out there and you have to be conscious to catch yourself thinking them. “I can never get a parking space.g. I am hopeless at talking in a group.g.g. “I’m hopeless at……………”e. it’s not terrible).
This doesn’t have to be the case if you regularly exercise your eyes. Simple answer is that 90% of opticians would not be required if everybody done some sort eye exercise on a daily basis. just like any other muscle in the body. Everybody who wears glasses and contacts will tell you their eyes have gradually got worse over time but they have put it down to their eyesight getting worse which is not necessarily the case. Also. This can be put down to drastically increased computer useage both at home and at work. and increased television watching. This may sound quite controversial to some people and a lot of people are opposed to this advice when I have given it. if you start wearing glasses or contact lenses your eyesight will only get worse over time rather than get better as your eyes will get used to the new lense and need even stronger lenses to function properly. we take it for granted that our eyes will eventually give up on us and we will eventually need glasses or contact lenses.5 Eye exercises to improve your vision Author: Steven Aitchison Over the last 10 – 15 years there has been a marked increase in the number of people who wear glasses and contact lenses. The thing is. but it needn’t be! Our eyes need regular exercise in order to keep them healthy. Good news for opticians around the world – bad news for us. 83 . Opticians are people of some authority so why would someone listen to me rather than someone who has had years of training and years of experience and have big fancy machines to test your eyes.
relaxed. Do you feel any difference? Whenever you blink your eyes are going into a brief period of darkness which helps to keep your eyes fresh and discharges previous information ready for new information. Think about someone who looked at you intently and you possibly felt threatened by them. However whenever you are talking to someone and they are blinking at a 3 -4 second interval it’s a sign of a relaxed and friendly listener. For the next two minutes blink every 3 – 4 seconds. are they strained. Instructions for palming 1. mentally take note of how your eyes feel.Blinking Blinking is an often overlooked yet simple way to keep your eyes fresh and being able to focus longer. I have to give credit here to Marc Grossman after finding his articles on eye exercises a few years ago. 84 . they have returned back to normal vision. After you have done this for two minutes. Try it just now as a simple exercise. tired. especially when they are intently focused on something. What have you got to lose? The exercises I use are pretty standard and have been in the public domain for years but they work for me and hopefully they will work for you.Of course there are exceptions and a lot of people might need glasses or contacts due to congenital problems or some kind of trauma however I believe most people who wear glasses do not need them or did not need them in the first place. if you are a glasses wearer or contact lenses wearer to try the exercises for a few weeks and let me know how you get on. Now try and not blink for 30 seconds at a time for two minutes. I use the computer at home and at work for an average of 9 hours per day and do not need glasses. This is only because I have resisted listening to opticians who advised I need them. Your blink rate can also help with your communication skills. Take a few deep breathes before you begin. Check out this article for more info Dramatically improve your eye contact skills 2.Palming This is done to relieve stress around the eyes and as a way to relax your eyes whilst taking a computer break. I know I will get a lot of abuse for this post but I stand by what I am saying and advise you. When someone stops blinking and stares at you when you are talking it’s a sign of aggression. Check out people’s blink rates the next time you are talking. Computer users and television watchers tend to blink less. What you may have missed is the fact that they had stopped blinking. 5 Exercises to strengthen your eye muscles and improve your vision 1. this helps to reduce eye strain. Instead I have exercised my eyes and after a few weeks of exercising my eyes.
3. 2. I say almost as I couldn’t imagine doing it on the underground without getting strange looks from those around me. until your thumb is about 3 inches in front of your face. this will only take 2-3 minutes at a time. Place your two hands over your eyes with the cup of your palm covering your eyes. Do it one way for a few minutes and then do it the other way for a few minutes. Imagine a giant figure of eight in front of you about 10 feet in front of you. It may seem very alien at first but it’s worth persevering with it. 85 . This is quite a simple exercise but a good one. Sit in a comfortable position Stretch out your arm with your thumb in the hitchhike position Focus on your thumb as your arm is outstretched. 2. Palming gives you the opportunity to rest your mind and your eyes for a few minutes at a time. Now turn the 8 on it’s side.Zooming This is another one of my favourites as it is very easy and quick to do. Instructions for Near and far focussing. 4.Near and far focussing This is one of my favourite exercises as you can do it almost anywhere. 3. 3. 4. 4.2. your fingers on your forehead and the heel of your hand will rest on your cheekbone.Figure of eight This is to exercise your eye muscles and increase their flexibility. Close your eyes. 1. slowly. Make sure you can blink freely and you are not putting too much pressure on your eyes. That’s it. 5. Put your thumb about 10 inches in front of you and focus on it. This will strengthen the muscles in your eyes over time and improve your vision overall. On each deep breath switch between focussing on your thumb and the 10-20 feet object in front of you. Sit in a comfortable position. Now bring your thumb closer to you. Now trace the figure of eight with your eyes. Make yourself comfortable whilst leaning forward on a desk or with your elbows resting on your knees. or stand. Instructions for zooming 1. It may not sound much of an exercise but it can make a big difference in your working day if you stop for a few minutes and do this exercise. 3. Now focus on something else about 10 – 20 feet in front of you. focussing all the time.
I am by no means an expert on this subject so please do your own research. 86 . Now move your thumb away again until your arm is fully outstretched. This exercise will strengthen your focussing skills and your eye muscles in general. I can only tell you what works for me. 6. Do this for a few minutes at a time throughout the day. I hope this post has stimulated your interest in natural vision exercises and it leads you to research this subject more.5.
For the last few weeks I have been trying my hardest to sleep for 8 hours per night.30 – 5. I felt less groggy and got into the swing of the day a lot quicker. gender and working patterns. So why do I need only 4 -5 hours and other people. on average about 7 – 7. need about 8 hours of sleep per night? I decide to try a little experiment. I dosed on and off. 87 . The first few days I kept on waking up at 4. So I done some research and found it comes down to science. By the 5th day I was able to sleep for about 7 hours before waking up. The last week I actually got into it and I was starting to get used to sleeping longer. like my wife.00am. I forced myself to stay in bed and try to fall back asleep. It got me to thinking where this myth of needing at least 8 hours of sleep per night came from. The thing is I felt kind of groggy when I was getting up and the rest of the day felt rushed and I was trying to catch up with myself. It’s the scientists that say we need at least 7 – 9 hours of sleep per night depending on age.5 hours per night. My results were strange.How to get by on 5 hours of sleep a night Author: Steven Aitchison For a few years know I have been getting by on 4 -5 hours of sleep and I didn’t realise how unusual that was until a few weeks ago when I was having a conversation with some of my work colleagues. A lot of them said something like ‘Oh I need my 8 hours of sleep every night’.
delta sleep. I know have a lot more time to fit everything I do online into my schedule and feel much more productive throughout the day. 3.A few days ago I went back to normal and got up at 5am after turning out the lights at about midnight. Now the only thing you’ve got to worry about is what to do with the extra 15 – 25 hours per week. 88 . Decide on the pattern you would like E. REM time. You will already know what time. Of course our body needs to rest and we need sleep and our sleeping cycle. I felt groggy again as my sleep pattern had been upset again however this morning I feel fine after getting my 5 hours of sleep. My habit is 5 hours of sleep and I believe my sleep cycle will work itself into my habit of 5 hours of sleep. However. What this has shown me is that we get by on what we are used to and our sleeping patterns will take care of itself once we have developed a sleep habit. For example if you currently get 8 hours per night just now and your goal is to get 5 hours per night. theta sleep and alpha sleep etc all play a role in replenishing our minds and body’s. Here is how to get by on 5 hours of sleeper night 1. Your pattern should be Week 1 – Get 7 hours 15 minutes of sleep per night Week 2 – Get 6 hours and 30 minutes of sleep per night Week 3 – Get 5 hours 45 minutes of sleeper night Week 4 – Get 5 hours of sleeper night 1. Breaking it up this way will not shock your body and make you feel as groggy throughout the day. if you would like to get by on 5 hours per night or 6 hours. Work out how much sleep you get per night. I believe the sleeping cycle will work itself into our own sleeping habit. roughly. you go to bed each night and when you wake up. Know your sleeping pattern just now. Break the new routine into a four week block. 2.G. I occasionally have the odd dose in front of the TV for 15 minutes but it’s one of those micro-naps when I feel totally refreshed after it.
when I first started out I thought if I sell the downloads of the binaural beats cheap I will get loads of vistors to the site and loads of sales through word of mouth. if a product seems to cheap then it can’t be any good which means a lot of people wouldn’t buy it purely for the fact that it seemed to cheap. I want to give you 5 ways that I have found to work which has doubled my business sales. After two days. Anyways. I kept it at the new price and I am still getting sales and with over 90 sales I have only had 1 return which is not bad going for a clickbank product. I then braced myself and doubled the price of my product and waited to see what would happen. I then received a message from someone else who was selling downloadable binaural beats basically saying that I should not under price my product as there were others out there selling binaural beats for up to $1000 per set. but when I got started I soon realised I had a lot more to say than 1200 words. I also do affiliate marketing which I won’t talk so much about as I don’t want to give away my niche. about how we can work less and get paid more by working smarter. I gave her five pieces of advice for free which will bring in an extra $10. tripled the bottom line and halved my advertising budget. on the third day a few questions from prospective buyers. I was speaking with one of my clients a few days ago about a making them a website and do internet marketing for a fixed fee and monthly fee thereafter. Brian McCelroy. She had made our curtains and pelmets for a great price. I thought about this for a bit and obviously I knew that my competition would not want me selling cheap for obvious reasons but I thought about the psychology of it. I’d raised my prices by $40 and I was still getting sales. We sat down and discussed her business which was a service she offered to the public. I made 6 sales at $29 for each download. and it was a soft beginning.000 – $30.000 per year. When I first started writing this article I expected it to be around 1200 words for the whole 5 ways of doubling your business sales. Dennis Becker and Rachel Rofe. After the job 89 . on the fourth day 2 sales at $69 each. Howie Schwartz. absolutely nothing. which meant I didn’t really shout at all about the opening of the site. Well the first month of going live.com where I sell binaural beats to the public for better health and relaxation. For regular readers you will know I own www.binaural-mind. So I have written about 1500 words for each part. I have applied such thinking to my own online business and listened to other great internet marketers such as Rich Schefren.5 Ways to triple your business profits-Part 1 Author: Steven Aitchison Most people will have heard of the ‘4 Hour Work Week’ by Timothy Ferris. As you know I have been affiliate marketing for a few years and I have also started up an internet marketing arm of the business offering advice to offline businesses. This woman’s business was run on word of mouth alone and she had a great reputation for what she did which was to make custom made curtains and pelmets for clients.
it was all word of mouth. 5 Ways to double your sales and half your workload – Part 1 1. a computer shop owner.was done we had a word about her business and I asked a whole load of questions about her business and her marketing and she said she didn’t do any marketing. Increase your price You might have guessed it already. Yes. triple her profits and half her workload. Sales per month Cost to build Profit Total Profit for month Old Computer $800 25 $530 $270 $6750 New Computer $1200 25 $630 $570 $15250 Increase 50% 19% 111% 111% Price 90 . We sat down and went into more detail about her business and looked at her competition to find out what they were charging for their service. I gave her 5 pieces of advice which I know will increase her sales. the first piece of advice I would give to businesses offering a service of some kind would be to increase their price by at least 50%. I asked if she would like more business and how much she could handle. If you are offering a service to people and you have taken the time to get qualifications in your area of expertise and are considered a professional then increasing your price should be a natural way to build your business but most business owners don’t think like this. you will get customers who leave you but you will also gain new customers with smart marketing. we’re in a recession for goodness sake why on earth would I raise my prices? but hear me out. why? They don’t want to rock the boat. After talking about it we marketed the benefits of the new motherboard and he increased the price of that computer model with the new motherboard by 50% and it is now the bestselling computer in his shop. It turns out she was one of the cheapest on the market in her area. the answer? Of course she would and could handle a lot more. Lets look at the numbers for the computer shop owner. This is not true. They start out in business offering a service cheaper than most to build the business and get a reputation. If you are a business owner who sells products you obviously can’t sell your products with a 50% increase? You can. His new motherboard was 50% more expensive to buy. However. (and by the way we’re only in a recession because the media say we are). depending on what you are selling. put a new type of motherboard in his custom built computers which greatly increased the performance of the computer. once the business has been established and the reputation gained they keep the prices the same as before. I can almost hear the screams of abuse at this piece of advice. One of my clients. they are fearful that if they put the prices up the buyers will leave. they will happily pay you the extra 50%. If you have a great reputation and people trust you.
So although it was more expensive to build we still increased the overall price of the computer by 50% and gained 111% increase in profit. increase your customer service and lose a few old customers and gain a few new ones. amazing! Okay you might think we were being a bit greedy here. The above tables do not take into consideration the increased amount in sales for the new computer as they were marketed as having the latest new motherboard and we marketed all the benefits of the new motherboard. not to mention the increased business through word of mouth. So lets just say you increase the price by 25% which is just over the amount it costs extra to build the computer. So by adding an extra high end component we have increased the sales and increased the total profit by 111%. You are always going to lose a few customers along the way no matter what you do so why not increase your price.As you can see from the table above the main points are. I think you’ll be surprised at the numbers it throws out. The cost to build the computer was 19% more as the motherboard had gone up in price by 50% but the rest of the components of the computer stayed the same price. Work out your numbers on your business and see if adding an extra 20-50% would make a difference. Sales per month Cost to build Profit Total Profit for month Old Computer $800 25 $530 $270 $6750 New Computer $1000 25 $630 $370 $9250 Increase 25% 19% 37% 37% You still increase your profit by 37%. A lot of people who own a service-business are afraid to raise their prices for fear of losing customers. Price 91 .
We’ve actually had conversations at work on this very topic. Probably the biggest thought seed a lot of people have is ‘what if I won the lottery?’.Planting thought seeds for a better life Author: Steven Aitchison Many people don’t allow themselves the luxury of thinking big. Planting a thought seed Planting a thought seed is a fantastic way for you to begin thinking about the life you want and getting it. “What would I feel like if I had the job I really wanted?” and allow yourself to daydream about having the job you really want and what it would feel like and how you would change as a person because of it. Simply put a thought seed is a tiny thought that lets you momentarily dream about what your life could be like if you could have anything. what would it belike” and you allow yourself to daydream about what it would be like being rich. Thought seeds start like: “What if I were rich. I think this may be due to the fact that they don’t believe in themselves enough to allow themselves to think big. 92 . “what if I could start my own business?” and so on Lots of ‘what if’ statements are examples of thought seeds. In this article I wanted to give you a technique to start the process of thinking big and I wanted to tell you why it is important to think big.
Why plant a thought seed Planting thought seeds are your key to gaining a better life. Everything you do begins with a thought seed. That includes having a shower in the morning to get ready for work, having your breakfast, starting a business, starting a relationship etc. The kind of thought seeds I am talking about are life changing thought seeds not your run of the mill ones which most people have an act on. Here are some famous thought seeds throughout history: ‘I wonder what it would be like if we had a black president…..’ ‘What if it were possible to connect every computer in the world to share information….’ ‘I wonder if it would be possible to build a computer that we could use in our homes….’ ‘’What if we could explore space and put a machine on the moon….’ ‘wouldn’t it be great if we could communicate with anyone using a wire and a handset….’ ‘Would it be possible to make light with the flick of a switch….’ ‘Wouldn’t it be great to fly like a bird in the skies…………’ There are literally millions of examples of life changing events that start with a thought seed, a tiny little ‘what if’ statement is usually all it takes. However most people don’t act on these thought seeds and dismiss them for various reasons, mainly because we think we could never do it. Well I think it’s time we started acting on these thought seeds and nurturing them to grow and be fully realised. Growing your thought seeds Not everyone is going to have world changing ideas and that’s okay, but we can affect the world in a small way by changing our own lives for the better. To change your life you first have to know what you want and what you would love to change about your life. So the first thing to think about is what would you change about your life if you could. No need for writing this down just have the thought, think of something right now that you would love to change about your life. When you have thought about something you would love to change, imagine what it would be like if you had already changed that aspect of your life. Go into detail here, think about how you would act, think about how your friends and family would act toward you, dream about how it would feel, try and imagine every aspect of the change as if it had already happened. You can do this for several days or several weeks before going onto the next step.
The next step is to ask yourself what kind of things you would need to do to allow this change to happen. Start with the very basics. For example if you wished you could have a better job you could think the first thing you would have to do is where you could get some training to better your chances of getting your ideal job, or you could think about looking at internet job sites to get an idea of what the employers are looking for. Think about every aspect of the process it would take to make the change you desire. Again take as much time as you want to do this, several weeks if necessary but make sure you think about it often and every day. This way your mind will keep on working for you and help you spot opportunities to make the change you desire. Let your thought seeds flourish The only thing you have to do here is keep thinking about your desires and thinking about the kinds of things you would have to o to make your desires a reality. There is absolutely no pressure on yourself to do anything or take any action other than thinking about your desires often. Why do all of this? A lot of people don’t take the time to think about the things they really want in life. When you have the initial thought of your desire that may be as far as it goes, but now you have gone a step further and actually thought about the steps that you would have to take to make it happen. When you do this your brain goes into overdrive and starts noticing things in your life that could bring your desire closer to you. You will start to see strange coincidences in your life that relates to your desire and a lot of people will take action on these coincidences. So, just by thinking about your desires with no pressure on your part you may be a step closer to gaining the life you want. Taking action Of course there is a need, eventually, to take action, as you will never get anything in life unless you take action. However, as this process of planting thought seeds brings the action closer to you it is much easier to realise your desires.
Life is shit
Author: Steven Aitchison Life is shit! I have spoken to so many people who complain about life and how shit is. In every single case the person who has been complaining has done absolutely nothing to change their life to make it less shit. Here are the most common ‘life is shit……..’ phrases and how to over come them. Life is shit because I don’t have the money to do the things I want! There are literally hundreds of ways to make extra money, but ONLY if you are willing to work for it. I don’t mean work hard all day and all night I mean work smart and automate as much as possible so you are making money whilst you sleep. Some things you can do are: 1. Affiliate marketing – Sell other peoples products online. A simple website, a few keywords, a google adwords campaign and you are more or less up and running. The easiest place to start is selling stuff from Clickbank. 2. Sell your knowledge – Do you have a skill that could be taught either via seminars or via an ebook? Truth is, everybody has. You can turn your knowledge into a saleable commodity. I have learnt a bit about internet marketing over the last few years and am now selling that knowledge to local businesses, via an ebook to anybody who wants to know. You can learn the skills of internet marketing in a few weeks of dedicated learning. If you do this you will have more knowledge than most businesses will know in their lifetime. Think outside the box with this one. I know someone who makes a killing just installing wordpress blogs for people and setting it up for them. It takes her two hours of work and she charges $100 a time. That’s only two examples of making extra money. There are hundreds more you just need to put your thinking cap on. Dennis Becker advocates trying to earn an extra ‘5 Bucks per day’ and then take it from there. How hard would it be to earn an extra $5 95
anything at all to bring money into the family home and for my self respect. always building your knowledge as the world of the internet is always changing. then two a month and then three a month and pretty soon you will have a website business. When she sat down and thought about what she loved she became a registered child minder and set up business for herself. concentrate on building up the things you are already good at. There is no need in this day and age not to have a job. Each time you double the amount to make in a day your money limit will go higher and you will become more confident and in turn your own mind will keep working for you and you will begin to see new ideas in everything. Then when you get more confident you can go to college for a certificate of some kind and then build up your knowledge and certification from there. I would do anything. The thing to do here is concentrate on being happy with yourself before giving up part of the power to someone else. If you don’t have the time to go to college then learn at home and build your own websites then ask someone if they would like a website built for free. This way you will gain experience of working with clients and the kind of questions and difficulties they will have. Life is shit because I don’t have my ideal partner! When you are thinking like this you are giving all of your power away to an unknown entity. This applies to any type of work you want to do. If you can earn an extra $5 you can then double that. Thinks of all the things you want to be and work on each part in turn. For example if you want to get a job as a web designer. namely the person you think you should be with. Life is shit because I don’t have a job! Unless you have some sort of disability there is absolutely no need to be out of work. one site at a time. if you 96 . Her business is now booming and she is doing great for herself. She was babysitting for a few people and doing a few part time jobs cleaning and working in a shop.per day. Everybody is always looking for reliable. Another piece of advice would be to concentrate on your strengths. Don’t waste time on minor weaknesses. When you are totally content within your skin you are ready to meet your ideal partner. Do one a month. You start small and learn the basics by building your own sites. registered child minders. Life is shit because I don’t have the job I want! Tell me. what have you done to find the job you really want? Most people who say this don’t really know what they want so how are you going to find your ideal job when you don’t know what it is. I remember having a conversation with my older sister a few years ago and she was saying how she wanted another job. You first need to figure out what you want to do and then figure out how to get it. Work on yourself in every single way possible.
but it’s the truth. the letter writing. Life is shit because I have lost a loved one! There is nothing at all I can say that will change your mind and rightly so. We are so engrained into thinking that somebody has to give us a job that we don’t think outside the box. create a job for yourself. will take time.’ phrases and 99. Small steps – Every single journey you take in your life will begin with a small step and this is the same for changing your life. however if you are a lazy so and so then put up or shut up.. Why do we have to go through the job hunting. There is no possible way people will like you until you truly like yourself and if you’re at this stage you have a lot of work to do on yourself. there is no point in complaining about something if you are not prepared to do anything about it. Life is shit because nobody likes me! You might be right.9 % of them can be overcome if you are willing to put in the effort. I cannot begin to imagine being in your shoes and I would not dare insult you by offering advice. think about the small changes you want to make and work on them continuously and build up your repertoire until you are happy with yourself. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh. the research. The grieving process needs to be realised fully before you can move on and this. be your own boss.can’t find an employer create a job for yourself. to help someone else make money? There is no need at all. If you are a hard worker there is virtually nothing you cannot do. I have to say if you are happy feeling like shit then there is obviously no need to make any changes. everybody might not like you and for one reason – You don’t like yourself. At this stage don’t think about the bigger picture. I am probably not going to be liked for this article but I had to say it. the interviews. There are a million other different ‘Life is shit because……. I know it’s clichéd. 97 .