Invoking Cosmic Order

To make sacred is to regard with reverence, to imbue with a quality of spirit or divinity. The word ritual comes from the Sanskrit word rta meaning ‘cosmic order’. Ritual realigns you with the larger cycles of life and invokes the sacred in what you might otherwise view as ordinary. Rituals invoke and honor the divine; this sets them apart from habits. It is vital that ritual has positive emotional meaning for both partners; and that you both know what is expected of you. Rituals are not routine. Routines don’t have emotional significance or intention, and routines do not have the purpose of deepening your relationship with spirit or your partner. There are many other books that go into great detail about increasing your sexual powers by chanting a mantra three times while squeezing your root chakra and exhaling to the count of four; we just don’t believe that connecting with the love of your life needs to be that complicated! Relationship magic may be simple, such as a morning goodbye kiss dedicated to Venus the goddess of love or might be more elaborate, such as a weekly spa night, when you honor each other’s inner god and goddess.

Infusing the sacred into your intimate relationships opens the doorway to all the abundant opportunities, unforeseen possibilities and hidden potentials the divine offers. Your mundane routines take on new life and your daily habits transform. Simply Sacred is a guide for making the day-to-day reality of your relationship sacred. This includes eating, sleeping, cleaning, fighting, and of course it also includes sex, that wonderful and completely human endeavor of joining bodies for the purpose of pleasure, procreation and intimacy. We’ve all read the magazines exhorting you to reignite the fire in your sex life, or demanding that you learn 50 ways to drive him or her wild in bed. Self-help books abound offering advice on everything from scheduling dates with your partner to S&M for Dummies. It might seem that bringing the passion back into your relationship involves both a truckload of equipment and complicated diagrams. Simply Sacred offers an alternative that is both magical and practical. Many of the materials you will need are items that you likely already have in your house such as sea salt, cinnamon and cardboard. The exercises are designed to work with your already established habits: cleaning, cooking and sleeping, and the only real change you will be asked to make is in your perspective. The activities in Simply Sacred are easy and fun, and range from simple rituals to magical games and tools that are easily incorporated into your daily routines.


Simply Sacred is a resource to use right from the beginning of a relationship, or later, after the honeymoon is over. During the post-honeymoon phase, couples dive into the shadow work, sometimes free-falling, sometimes hanging on for dear life at the edge of the relationship cliff refusing to take the leap. Your first big fight calls you down into the depths of the underworld, where you see that your ‘soul mate’ is also a real human being, complete with the annoying habits you were hoping to do without: the embarrassing laugh or the socks on the floor. You may realize like a dreamer awakening from a lovely dream, that there’s a person behind the romance veil, a person you’ll interact and negotiate with on a daily basis. For some the shock is enough to make them run screaming in the other direction, searching for a new partner in play, reaching once again for that elusive, never-ending honeymoon. For others, this wake-up experience signals the beginning of a true relationship, and an opportunity to grow closer as you come to really know each other and your intimacy deepens. Those who decide to go deeper may come to discover that their relationships have the potential to integrate two realities: the magical and the mundane. Like the shaman who journeys between the worlds, you develop the ability to bridge these parts of life, merging them at times, and also learning to leave one to fully inhabit the other. In making sacred your everyday routines, and inviting divinity to work with you, you literally change your consciousness, viewing the world through new eyes. That bleary-eyed mate who just sat across from you at the breakfast table may soon be looking “hotter than a pepper sprout”, ala Johhny Cash and June Carter.

What Was that Peacock Feather for Again?
We use the basics of what in magical circles is commonly called, ‘creating sacred space’: purifying, grounding, casting a circle, and invoking elements and deity. These steps are outlined in the following sections. In magical traditions, each of these steps preludes the meat (or tofu) of the ritual. It might be fun to play with some of the simple forms of each of these steps, doing them in the order described before your ritual. However, when you are pressed for time, or don’t feel like doing more, you may want to pick one or two that feel right for you in the moment. We suggest that at the very least you do a grounding practice before any of the longer rituals in this book. Play with the rituals and exercises so that they feel enjoyable and resonate with you and your partner.

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