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Habit 1 - Be Proactive

Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize
Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
It is perhaps a great compliment to Stephen Covey that today, the substance of this
first habit is deeply embedded into the management psyche. We are told, in
business, that we should be proactive; and broadly what is meant by that is to focus
our efforts and attention on the long-term and to think in terms of the long-term
consequences of our actions.
Covey contrasts being proactive or having a proactive mentality with being reactive.
Reactive people, he says, are those who are resigned to the truth that whatever they
do in the present can have no effect on their circumstances. And interestingly, for
reactive people, it really is a truth, for whatever we believe in our heart affects our
thoughts, words and actions. If we really believe that we can do nothing about our
unreasonable boss or the daily events in our lives, then we simply do not make the
Proactive people, on the other hand, simply will not accept that there is nothing that
can be done about the unreasonable boss or the events of daily life - they will point
out that there are always choices. It is by the decisions we make, our responses to
people, events and circumstances that proactive people can and do affect the future.
We may have no control over what life throws at us but we always have a choice
about how we are to respond.
Now this notion that having a particular attitude of mind (which is really where this
habit begins) can make such a huge and positive difference to almost everything we
experience in life is foreign to those who have already internalised the opposite habit
as a part of their personalities. For some people, the glass is always half-empty and
the feeling of melancholy is a pleasant reminder that something is indeed missing.
For such people, this habit represents a bitter pill to swallow - but, says Covey, it is
also completely liberating.
When we are finally prepared to accept full responsibility for the effects that are
manifest in our lives; when we have the strength of character to admit it when we
make mistakes (even big ones); when we are completely free to exercise the options
available to us in every situation; then it can be said that we have finally internalised
this habit. The other six of the habits require that we first work on our basic
character by becoming proactive and thereby transforming ourselves into men and
women of integrity.
Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize
Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
Many people in the west identify with the frustration of success. Being successful at
their chosen career and committed to its progress they come to realise that it does
not, in the final analysis, bring any sense of real satisfaction. The reason for this
ultimate dissatisfaction is that they did not begin with the end in mind. For many
people, it is not just that they did not begin with the end in mind; it goes a bit
deeper - they did not ever get around to defining the end itself and so they simply
could not begin with the end in mind. So what does all this mean? The end
represents the purpose of your life. Until you can say what that purpose is, with
assurance, then you just cannot direct your life in the manner that would bring you
the greatest satisfaction.
There are no short-cuts here. To engage in this habit, you need to have a dream,
define your own vision and get into the practice of setting goals which will allow you
to make measurable progress toward the dream. If you practice a faith, then you will
want to consider how this affects your purpose in life; if you do not, you will still
need to get involved in deep self-examination to find out exactly what it is that will
bring you fulfilment. To help you with this, you may wish to obtain my E-Book The
Deepest Desire of Your Heart; available from this site. The book contains some
excellent self-reflection exercises you can use to focus your mind on what is most
important to you in life.
Until you have defined your vision - the big dream to which you will be working - you
will be unable to move on to habit 3 which provides a basic framework for you to re-
align your efforts so that you will ultimately achieve your heart's desire.
Habit 3 - First Things First
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize
Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
Following the amazing popularity of his work on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People, Stephen Covey published a second book that deals with the 7 Habits; and
the title of that book is also First Things First. Both the book and this habit deal with
subject of managing your time effectively.
Consider the simple 2 x 2 matrix shown below. It plots the concepts of urgency and
importance against each other; and represents where you are spending your time.
To really understand and apply this habit, you need to have first done habit 2 - that
is, you should already have defined what is important to you. Without first doing
this, habit 3 has no power because you simply cannot separate what is important
from what is not important.
This representation shows four categories of demand which may be made on your
time. Quadrant 1 consists of activities which are both urgent and important - in other
words, things to which you absolutely must attend. Why must you do these things?
Because they are important - meaning that they contribute to your mission; and they
are urgent - meaning that they have some sort of deadline associated with them.
Choices about where to invest your time really are made in the other categories; and
most people - driven by the concept of urgency - get drawn into Quadrant 3; doing
things that consume their time but do not contribute to their goals. Highly Effective
People (yes they all fit together you see) understand that the high leverage activities
are all Quadrant 2 - important but not urgent. Planning, preparation, prevention,
relationship-building, reading, improving your professional knowledge and exercise
are all examples of Quadrant 2 activity - not an exhaustive list, by any means.
We all intuitively know that Quadrant 2 activities are the key to getting results; but
you need to have internalised the first two habits before you can benefit from the
high leverage this habit brings. In other words, you first need to have developed the
strength of character (proactivity) which allows you to be able to say no to demands
on your time that fall into Quadrants 2 and 3; and you also need to have defined
what importance means for you - otherwise the Quadrants do not exist.
Put habits 1,2 and 3 together and you have the ultimate success formula. Stated
simply - get your mind right; define what is important; then organise your life to
maximise your Quadrant 2 efforts. By spending appropriate time on Quadrant 2
activities, you will gain control over the circumstances of your life; Quadrant 1 will
actually get smaller because you will have anticipated and prepared for much
Quadrant 1 activity. Concentrating on Quadrant 2 is absolutely fundamental to
achieving success. You might like to take a look at the 4tm Spreadsheet, available
from this site, which can help you to make this key adjustment in the use of your
Habit 4 - Think Win Win
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize
Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The next of the 7 Habits is - Think Win-Win. This habit is again an attitude of mind.
It concerns fostering an attitude that is committed to always finding solutions that
will truly benefit both sides of a dispute. Solutions do not, of course, exist in
themselves; they must be created. And, even if we cannot see the solution to a
particular problem, it does not mean that no such solution exists. The win-win idea is
not based upon compromise - that is where most disputes naturally end. But
compromise is the result of not properly perceiving the possible synergy of the
The more you practice this habit, the more committed you will become as you find
solutions which truly do benefit both parties, where originally it looked as if no such
agreement might be reached. Covey has amended the wording of this habit slightly
in recent years to read: Think Win-Win or No Deal. This attitude works well because
it liberates the individuals concerned from the effort of trying to persuade the
opposite party to shift ground or compromise. The effort is instead spend on trying
to understand, which is where habit 5 comes in - you see, they are also sequential.
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand
then be Understood
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize
Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The fifth habit is - Seek First to Understand. What most people do, naturally, when
involved in some type of discussion, meeting or dialogue is exactly the reverse - they
seek first to be understood. And, as Stephen Covey says, when both parties are
trying to be understood, neither party is really listening; he calls such an interaction,
'the dialogue of the deaf'. This habit is an important key to inter-personal
relationships and it seems to be almost magical in its ability to transform the course
of discussions. Why? Because by making the investment of time and effort required
to understand the other party, the dynamics of the interchange are subtly affected.
This habit is not just about letting the other person speak first; it concerns actually
making the effort to understand what is being said. It is about understanding that
our natural habit of mind is to misunderstand. When we are engaged in
conversation, error is always present. NLP tells us that we simply make our own
meaning based on our own experiences and understanding of life; and frequently we
make the wrong meaning. You might like to take a look at the answers given by
school-children on history exams which illustrates this principle - we are no different!
If however, we are prepared to invest the time and effort to really understand the
other person's position; and to get into the habit of spending the first part of the
discussion doing so; then, when it is felt by the other person that you do indeed
understand, the dynamic changes. People become more open, more teachable, more
interested in what you may have to say and with the mutual understanding that
flows from this habit, you are ready to practice habit 6; which concerns finding
creative solutions.

Habit 6 - Synergize (Synergise)

Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize
Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The sixth of the habits is - Synergize. This habit involves you putting your head
together with the other party or parties in order to creatively brainstorm a
synergistic solution to a problem i.e. to find a solution which contains win-win
benefits. It can only be done successfully if you have first practiced habits 4 and 5.
The well-known definition of synergy is as follows:
Synergy - When the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Finding a synergistic solution means finding a solution which is better than either
party might first propose. Such a solution can only be found if both parties truly
understand the other parties position - the fruit of habits 4 and 5. There have been
many books written on successful brainstorming techniques; my own favourite
techniques are those proposed by Edward DeBono - professor of thinking and
perhaps most famous for Lateral Thinking.
Putting habit 4, 5 and 6 together, you have a perfect model for human interaction.
Put simply: first be mentally committed to the idea that a solution that will benefit all
parties may be constructed; next invest the necessary time and effort to really
understand the other party and do that first; finally creatively brainstorm a
synergistic solution - a natural product of mutual understanding and respect.
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
Be Proactive Begin With The End in Mind Put First Things First Think Win-Win Seek First To Understand Synergize
Sharpen The Saw The 8th Habit
The last habit of the 7 Habits is - Sharpen the Saw. In this habit, you are the saw;
and to Sharpen the Saw is to become better, keener and more effective. Highly
Effective People always take time to Sharpen the Saw. What is meant by Sharpening
the Saw is to regularly engage in the exercise of the three dimensions which make
up the human condition: body, mind and spirit. Covey also adds a fourth dimension -
the inter-personal.

Spiritual Exercise
Let us begin by considering Spiritual Exercise - this is the area which is perhaps the
most misunderstood. I believe that, in the west, we have become spiritually blind.
The progress of our science, education and technology has lead us to construct a
view of the world and the universe that excludes the agency of God. Freud famously
said that it was man that made God 'in the image of his father'. It is, of course, a
very clever statement and not one I wish to here challenge - whether this statement
or the reverse is true is for you to decide. However, as the west has, by and large,
abandoned faith in the creator God, so it has simultaneously abandoned the idea that
life has any meaning or purpose; and it is purpose and direction in life that this habit
refers to as Spiritual Exercise. Of course, if you are a religious person, then there will
be a tie-up here with your personal faith; however, if you are not religious, don't also
abandon the idea that life holds a special purpose for you.
To exercise spiritually, I recommend that you consider engaging in some form of
meditation. Meditation involves regularly sitting in a relaxed position and thinking
about nothing for a period of about 10 or 15 minutes. Why this practice should bring
about any material benefits is an interesting question. You might consider that you
relax your mind quite enough when you sleep, but it turns out that we don't really
relax our minds when we sleep. The brain is active during sleep - during REM sleep,
the brain appears to be processing information. Though it is not yet known exactly
what it is doing, the brain is certainly not passive and so the mind is not relaxed
during sleep. Meditation is the practice of disciplining the mind, It is difficult to do at
first, but if you stick with it, positive health benefits will follow.
Making use of Jack Black's House on the Right Bank is an excellent tool for
combining what is really guided meditation with the practice of regularly reviewing
your mission, your roles and your goals; and that is what Stephen Covey means
when he talks about spiritual exercise - the regular, review and preview of the things
that are most important to you in life. These are the first things that you must define
in habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind.

Physical Exercise
Regular aerobic, physical exercise is essential for health, energy and a feeling of
well-being. Naturally, you should always consult your doctor or physician before you
embark upon any course of physical exercise; and it should be obvious that such
professional advice as may be given, should always be taken into account.
To practice this part of Habit 7 requires that you commit to at least three sessions of
at least twenty minutes per week. If you are not already engaged in this sort of
exercise, you will find that after a period of about six weeks, you will feel much
better, much healthier and indeed your body will become more efficient at processing
oxygen - which is the key to energy.

Mental Exercise
Ask yourself these questions. What am I doing to sharpen my mind? Am I engaged
in a programme of education or learning of some kind? What am I doing to improve
my professional knowledge?
How you should go about this part of the habit is, of course, for you to decide, but
you should ensure that you are reading regularly. What should you read? Naturally
you want to put in the good stuff - so it's not a case of reading for its own sake; it is
reading carefully selected material which allows you to broaden and deepen your
You will naturally be paying particular attention to the important areas you defined in
habit 2, but you should also consider reading all the great works of literature and
also ancient wisdom literature which includes books like The Psalms and Proverbs..

This part is not really a discipline, as are the other three parts, it is really a
commitment; and for me, I make the commitment during the spiritual part of the
habit, that is, during a meditation. It is simply to commit to approaching inter-
personal relationships by making use of habits 4, 5 and 6.
Even if people approach me making use of language, actions, or behaviour which I
personally believe to be inappropriate, my commitment is to not react, but to use my
proactive capacity to engage in the exercise of habits 4, 5 and 6 which I believe will
lead to the best possible outcome in such circumstances