A Life Worth Living

Discovering God given power within the simple things…
LIFE
WORTH
LIVING
Nick van Tonder

A LIFE WORTH LIVING
THIS BOOK IS A GIFT TO
_____________________
FROM
_____________________
DATE
_____________________
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
2nd Edition
For additional copies of this publication, please

contact:
Kwadonata Training cc
Tel: +27 16-362 0460 or 0860 LETSGO.

Cell: +27 82 575 5009
Fax: +27 086 651 2692
Email: nickvt@mweb.co.za
nick@kwadonata.co.za
Website: www.kwadonata.co.za
The information in this publication may not be

reproduced, in part or in whole by any means unless
permission is granted. For permission to use the
information in this publication for commercial
redistribution, please email: nickvt@mweb.co.za
All photographs by Nick van Tonder and Chantelle van

Tonder
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
A LIFE
WORTH
LIVING
NICK VAN TONDER
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
CONTENT
DEDICATION 6
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT 5
FOREWORD 6
INTRODUCTION 9
Chapter 1
LEARNING 23
Chapter 2
CONTROL 45
Chapter 3
COMMUNICATION 67
Chapter 4
LEARN TO LISTEN
LISTEN TO LEARN 79
Chapter5
THOUGHTS 89
Chapter 6
WORDS 101
Chapter 7
LABELS 111
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
Chapter 8
AIMING AT SOMETHING 123
Chapter 9
TOGETHER WE ACHIEVE MORE 135
Chapter 10
YOU CHOOSE NOW 153
ABOUT THE AUTHOR 160
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to my wife and best friend;

Chani, thank you for being the most incredible
listener, inspiration, and confidant.
Thank you for living this book with me. It is my

honor to be your guy forever.
I love you.
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Thank you to all who have read draft copies and
helped make this a book worth publishing, your
advice, patience and insight has been invaluable.
Zoë, Teagan, Kyle and Kristen, I wish that I knew

what I know now when I was younger. Go M.A.D.
(Make A Difference)
Pastor Dave Goosen, your gift has inspired me, thank

you for being my mentor and friend. The many hours
spent editing this with you has grown me and helped
me see myself more like God sees me. I pray many
are impacted as I have been.
Thank you God for giving us all a way to live a life

worth living.
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
FOREWORD
Nick van Tonder is a wonderfully positive man!
He is always reading, learning and putting the

lessons he has learned into practice.
It is a special privilege speaking to him on the

telephone, where he will share freely of his positivity
and give you a quote to ponder on and to encourage
you!
Nick is a life empowerment specialist and without

giving away the secrets in this book, he will give you
tools to take control of your life.
He will teach you that life is a special gift to be used

right now. He will give you the truth and will share
how the principles he discusses are based on the
Word of God.
Motivation and inspiration are things we all need all

the time. Whether you are facing a crisis, striving for
more or just trying to give meaning to your life, this
book will give you some of the ways you can do that.
But as Nick points out, you can read and search all
you like, but if you don’t put the lessons into action,
they will mean nothing! Life is not always an easy
journey, but tackling it with a good attitude and the
tools Nick gives here will empower you to get as
much out of it as possible.
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
We live in a high paced world. It is a world where we

are expected to succeed and we are expected to be
empowered.
But, how do we achieve these and what tools do we

need? By reading “A Life Worth Living”, you will find
the answers to these questions and others.
“A Life Worth Living” is an easy to read book. Follow

the simple suggestions, meditate on the points raised
and you will take control of your own destiny.
Rob Filmer – Director Eco-Access
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
INTRODUCTION
TO
A LIFE WORTH LIVING
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the

earth. When God created man, He gave him
dominion of all the earth and everything in it. Just 62
verses later in Genesis 3:6 man gave away the
control given to him by God. One verse later he
experiences his first negative emotion; shame. One
verse after that he experienced fear for the first
time, and hides from the presence of God.
Man was then expelled from Eden

John 10:10
to stop him from experiencing The thief comes not
eternal life. In John 10:10 the but for to steal, to kill
Bible shows us that where the and to destroy. But I
have come that you
devil’s strategy is to steal, to kill might have life and
and to destroy, Jesus came to that you might have it
earth to take back that which was more abundantly.
stolen and to give us life, and life
in abundance.
This life is given to us by Jesus, who - as a man -

took back the control given away by Adam when he
was deceived by the devil in the Garden of Eden.
Because of this one world-overcoming man we have

been once again given control to live, and live
abundantly.
Welcome to A Life Worth Living, a book all about

you. As you focus on your life today it will change
forever. Be open-minded and honest with yourself.
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Share the lessons you learn and allow yourself to

laugh. Learn life’s lessons, for by applying what you
learn you will grow. You will be given practical
exercises in this book which have been developed to
evoke emotion and thought. Do them and you will
experience a definite change in your life.
Take time to reflect upon the past, plan for the

future, and experience the most wonderful, powerful
moment called “now”. This moment challenges,
encourages and empowers you, with a true reflection
of your current reality of life, of people, situations
and most importantly how our God sees you!
Thank you for the opportunity to be a catalyst in part

of your change.
John 8:31 & 32
In John 8:31&32 Jesus states Then Jesus said to
that if we hold fast to the those Jews which
teachings in His Word that we believed in him, If you
continue in my word,
will be His disciples, a disciple is then you are my
not only a reader or a student, disciples indeed;
but is also disciplined in doing And you shall know the
truth, and the truth
what they know they are called shall make you free.
to do.
It goes on to say that we will know the truth, and

the truth will set us free! It is in the light of the
TRUTH which sets all men free, who know it and
perceive it, that we will understand who God created
us to be and then we will be able to act accordingly.
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He has given us the ability to become anything we

would want to become.
Colossians 1:26 says that the

Colossians 1:26, 27
mystery that once was hidden Even the mystery which
for ages and generations, has has been hidden from
been revealed, you need ages and from
generations, but now is
search no longer… it is Christ made manifest to his
in You, the hope of glory the saints: To whom God
hope of things to come. would make known what
is the riches of the glory
of this mystery among the
You may know many of the Gentiles; which is Christ in
principles that are written in you, the hope of glory.
the pages of this book
already, I encourage you however to apply them.
Research shows that if a person applies only one

new success principle in their life, read in a book,
heard from a tape or in a teaching, that the
application would significantly alter their lives.
There is a saying that goes “It’s Proverbs 8:22,23

not what you know, it’s…who you The Lord possessed
know” … right? me (wisdom) in the
beginning of his way,
before his works of
WRONG!!! old.
I was set up from
everlasting, from the
It is not what you know that beginning, before the
counts; it’s what you do with earth was.
what you know that counts.
Knowledge is what you know; Wisdom is what you
do with what you know.
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In Proverbs 8:22,23 God’s Word tells us that before

God created anything at all that he brought forth
Wisdom as the first of his works, and that Wisdom
was appointed from eternity
When God appeared to Solomon in a dream and
offered him anything, Solomon asked for a
discerning heart to distinguish between right and
wrong. God was pleased and
gave him his request. Isaiah 57:15
For thus says the high
and lofty One that
What stands out is that God inhabits eternity, whose
also gave him what he did not name is Holy; I dwell in
ask for, honour and riches; like the high and holy place,
with him also that is of
no king before and during his a contrite and humble
lifetime. spirit, to revive the
spirit of the humble,
and to revive the heart
Faith without works is dead. of the contrite ones.
This means that if we do not
use the duration of our lives;
the hours which we have at our disposal effectively,
based on the principles in God’s Word, we are not
living at all.
Many people ask if there is life after death. More

importantly I would like to ask you, “Is there life
after birth?”
Isaiah 57:15 tells us that God lives in Eternity.

Yesterday, today and forever God is the same.
Isaiah 40:8 says His Word endures forever. God is

the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.
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The principles found in the Bible are therefore

irrefutable and irrevocable. They cannot be denied;
they are eternal truths. The enormity of eternity lies
right here as you read these words.
Consider this: When you read the previous

paragraph, when was it? It was now. No sooner had
you read the words and they became a part of the
past.
Read the following sentence slowly and understand

it, for it is where our God lives and where we will
also always live.
All you have is NOW!!
And that too is past; as is the moment you read the

word “too” in this very sentence.
And no; you are not in the future as you may

surmise but you are able to act now to affect it. That
is where our God lives right now. This moment is all
you will ever have. Use it wisely, it is the greatest
gift you will ever experience, and is yours to do with
as you please. It belongs to no one else, unless you
choose to share it. It can be spent, wasted, lost,
invested, rushed, boring, exciting, sad, happy and
life changing, not to speak of its Historical value, or
the riches it can bring.
Eternity is described as Paradise, a better place,

boundlessness, ceaselessness, constancy, forever,
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
durability, endless time, everlasting, eternal home,

and a happy hunting ground, where there is no time.
When we are bound by time we are limited to what
we can’t do.
When we live in eternity we live in God’s time, and

His timing is perfect.
God’s Word is perfect, and all His ways are just.
His Word says that we must not be conformed to the

patterns of this world, but must be transformed by
the renewing of our minds with the Word of God.
Then we will be able to test and approve what God’s

will is, His good (beneficial) acceptable (well
pleasing) and perfect (complete) will.
Doesn’t God’s Word excite you, as it is revealed and

allows you to see who He has created you to be?
Scientists have proven that Man has approximately

75 000 thoughts a day, that he thinks at 186 000
miles per second and that one brain cell is directly
linked to 20 million others, who in turn are linked to
20 million others. We were indeed fearfully and
wonderfully made.
I am sure that as you read and discover God’s Word,

that you will be changed from glory to glory, and
that you will discover that our man made limitations
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are often the things we have created because of the

limited things we know.
The Word states that if my God is for me, then who

can be against me. What a powerful thought to
have! If Eternity is immeasurable, and we put our
heart into what we do right now, then our potential
is immeasurable.
In Philippians 4:13 God’s Word says “I can do all

things through Christ who strengthens me” All things
means All Things, not some things, not a few things,
but all things. It doesn’t say all possible things and is
not confined to your limitations, no matter what they
may be.
Mark 7:13
However if we always think Thus you are
according to our knowledge base nullifying and making
void and of no effect
linked to our upbringing and (the authority of) the
refuse to see the way God sees Word of God through
us we will not see the effect of your tradition, which
you in turn hand on.
God’s Word in our lives as Mark
7:13 shows us.
It clearly states in Matthew 19:26 that with God all

things are possible, all we have to do is believe.
In Hebrews 12:2 the Bible says that we must look to

Jesus who endured the cross and is the author and
Perfecter of our faith.
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
In 1 John 5:4 His Word says he who has faith and

belief in Jesus overcomes the world.
2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us that we walk by faith – the

action, related to a moral conviction, through a
revelation and perception of God’s Word, not by
sight – that which is clearly and undeniably before
us.
What an incredible message for you to start living

from this moment onwards.
I desire to reveal the root of the fruit. For every fruit

there is a root, and for every root there was a seed
sown.
I desire to share the truth about who you can

become, and what God has designed you to be.
I desire to expose the truth about the one thing that

sparks wars, destroys families, gives life, and brings
joy into this world.
Without it we will die, without owning it we are

slaves, without making it our own we choose to
blame others for taking it, and live in constant fear.
(Fear is like faith in the devils kingdom.)
Its potential is unlimited, and lies in what you choose

to do, or not to do with it. It is a fruit, and its name
is Self-Control.
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It was taken at the fall, through a choice that was

made, but has been taken back, by a choice Christ
made, and is now
offered back to you
through a choice you
ATTITUDE BECOMES A
can make, right now. MEASURABLE THING
WHEN YOU ARE
In Galatians 5:22 we MOTIVATED TO USE
see that faith, YOUR ABILITY
accompanies self-
COMPLETELY
control as a fruit of the
spirit. It is interesting
that faith is the one thing that will grow your ability,
and that how you choose to control yourself
determines who it is you will grow into.
Roman 10:17 says that faith comes by hearing and

hearing by the Word of God. The more we hear and
act according to what it is we newly understand, the
more we will grow.
Make the choice. Take control now. No one else can

take it for you
I used to teach that ability is what you are able to

do, but that is not true. Your ability is limitless. The
manifestation of your ability is determined by the
action related to the awareness you gain.
Are you able to perform a brain operation on an

individual, and see them recover completely?
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Your initial answer may be a “no” right now because

you are limited to what it is that you now know. But
hold on to your hat and be prepared to be blown
away.
The ability lies within you to do it. Just because you

do not know how right now, does not mean that you
are not able to gain the knowledge and then act with
that knowledge to perform the procedure.
Ability is what you believe you are able to do.
Motivation is determined by what you choose to do.
Attitude determines how you do what you do.
Attitude becomes a measurable thing when you are

motivated to use your ability completely.
Joseph was not a man of circumstance; he was a

creator of the circumstance he knew would come to
pass. He was stripped naked, thrown in a pit, sold by
his brothers as a slave, put to work as a slave. He
chose not just to exist, because of circumstance but
rather to embrace the problem he faced as a
challenge.
His challenge became an opportunity, and his

opportunity because of his ability and attitude
became his strength, a strength which was noticed
by all who saw him, until he became governor of all
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of Egypt, the place where he was first purchased to

work as a slave.
The parable of the talents that Jesus spoke of in

Luke 19:11-27 tells of three men who were all
entrusted with specific amounts of wealth.
Two out of the three men used what was given and
the third hid his out of fear that he would
misappropriate that which he was given, rather than
acting in faith, with a clear moral conviction that
what he did would bear fruit.
This passage speaks to me personally of ability,

motivation and attitude. I have begun to use more of
my ability and have grown to such a degree because
I am motivated to do what I do with passion purpose
and direction, and this has allowed me to speak to
people from all walks of life.
I have looked into and shared time in the lives of

doctors, pastors, bankers, leaders, directors of blue
chip companies, children, nurses, people with
disabilities, the under privileged and millionaires and
seen many who have not taken the opportunities
that have presented themselves, because they did
not feel they measured up to the challenge.
Dr John C Maxwell once said that success is not

about being at the right place at the right time, it’s
about being the right person all the time.
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A pastor in my church once told me that a success

principle he taught as a mentor and as a pastor
came from Proverbs 18:16, which says; “A man's gift
enlarges his way, and maketh him room before
princes.
We need to use all that is within us to the best of our

ability at every opportunity. This includes tucking the
kids in, preaching, playing a
game, or standing in a queue
or anything else we may do in WE NEED TO USE
our day. ALL THAT IS
WITHIN US TO THE
You have many gifts; simple BEST OF OUR
yet powerful gifts, that make ABILITY AT EVERY
you who you are.
OPPORTUNITY.
How you use yours will
determine whose presence it is that you will enter
and at what level you will work, serve and act in.
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REFLECTION
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
CHAPTER 1
LEARNING
Becoming who we have

become, and becoming who
we can become.
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In Proverbs 3:13 the Bible says, “Happy is anyone

who becomes wise - who comes to have
understanding.”
Further on in Proverbs 4:7 it says that wisdom is the

principal thing – first thing in order, time or rank;
and we must therefore get wisdom: and with all our
getting we should get understanding.
When we have God as our teacher we have a

teacher who knows everything we would ever want
to know. Psalm 147:5 says “How great He is! His
power is absolute! His understanding is unlimited.”
To learn is to be given instruction and receive

guidance, where to teach is to give instruction and to
instill knowledge.
We are what we know, we know what we have

heard, read, or experienced. This has been put in by
association with society.
The Human race has become progressively more

skillful through acquiring more knowledge, and in the
process has discovered new and unconventional
methods of doing what we do.
Through example, as a child, we mimic what we see

in those around us, we act within the boundaries
instilled within us, and according to the response we
generate in others and work with a cause and effect
mentality.
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It is interesting to note that most people’s actions

are not based on the response they generate in
others, but rather on the perception they think their
action will generate.
In childhood education (pedagogy) we are taught to

learn and study a set amount of information and
then to show our interpretation of our knowledge
through tests and examinations.
What is the reason you may not know something? Is

it not perhaps because of the limitation of the
teacher who taught you, or even the teacher who
taught them?
Or is it perhaps that the standards we are taught to

conform to are enough in the minds of the
educationalists in our world, and that further
enhancing our ability would be a trivial and useless
exercise for some writer to ponder and muse over?
The moral is
highlighted even
IF YOU ALWAYS DO further in a story of
WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS a young woman
DONE, YOU WILL who prepares a
roast leg of lamb
ALWAYS GET WHAT
for her husband for
YOU’VE ALWAYS GOT. the first time, in
their new home.
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Before his young wife began with the basting,

spicing and stuffing of the roast, the husband
noticed that she cut a considerable piece of the roast
off and put it one side to be used for another
purpose.
His curiosity prompted him to ask why she had done

so, to which she replied, “Because my mom taught
me to make a roast like that”
Unhappy with the apparently obvious answer he

questioned his mother in-law at their next visit as to
why she had taught her daughter to make the roast
in this particular way, to which she too replied,
“Because my mom taught me to make a roast like
that. “
Still not happy and determined to find the answer to

this wasted meat mystery he pursued his wife’s
grandmother for an answer.
With a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips, she

looked at him and finally gave him the answer he
was looking for. “When I was bringing my children
up and until a few years ago, we lived in an old farm
house, with a very small stove in the kitchen. The
reason I always cut the extra piece off was because
the roast would not otherwise have fitted into the
oven.”
A funny yet true reflection of the mentality of many

millions of people in the world today.
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If you always do what you’ve always done you will

always get what you’ve always got.
Some things that man invented, discovered or

became aware of by accident include:
The X-Ray machine, Velcro, Post-it notes, Crazy

Putty, The Magnet, Tippex, Potato crisps.
The most incredible one is a brand name that is

known around the world, Coca Cola!! Dr. John Stith
Pemberton (1830-1888) was an American
pharmacist, soldier, and inventor.
He invented Coca-Cola on May 8th, 1886 in Atlanta,

Georgia, USA. He had invented many syrups,
medicines, and elixirs before, including a very
popular drink called French Wine of Coca, which
contained French Bordeaux wine, coca leaves, and
caffeine (from the kola nut).
When Atlanta banned alcohol consumption in 1885,

Pemberton had to change the formula of his French
Wine of Coca, omitting the French wine. He added
sugar, citric acid and essential oils of many fruits to
the drink, and the original Coca-Cola was created. It
was named for its main ingredients, coca leaves and
the kola nut.
Coca-Cola quickly became a very popular soda

fountain drink, and a set back created an opportunity
for a comeback.
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The question is often asked which came first the

chicken or the egg, which is not as much of a tester
as who the first person was who decided to eat an
egg.
We don’t blink at new inventions, no sooner has a

new cell phone hit the market and we go smaller, no
sooner has the latest computer, hit the market and
we attempt to go faster.
The most recent i-pod mp3 player is the size of a

matchbox and can hold up to 2 000 songs. Is that
not amazing? You see if you had told me that even
10 years ago I would have said it was impossible,
but we are progressing so quickly that nothing
seems impossible anymore.
In the year 1900 the head of the U.S. patent office

announced that the office over which he was head
ought to be closed as every thing that could have
been invented had been invented. Look at the
marvels we have achieved.
Mother Nature helped invent the Popsicle! In 1905

an eleven-year-old Frank Epperson was mixing
powdered soda and water to make soda pop. Frank
accidentally left the mixing bucket outside. During
the night the mixture froze solid, with the wooden
stirring stick standing straight up. But the frozen pop
tasted great! Frank started selling Epperson icicles
for five cents, later changing the name to popsicles…
and there you have it!
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To make a mistake is not necessarily a bad thing.

Mistakes need to be made so we can learn to
advance in a better more focused way.
We limit ourselves with

our faith in God whose Isaiah 55:8
thoughts are above our “My thoughts" says the LORD
"are not like yours and my ways
thoughts, and whose are different from yours.
ways are above our ways.
We do not receive, because of two things. The first is

our unbelief, a lack of faith in what our God can
really do. To increase the results of utilizing our faith
we have to hear, perceive and act regarding God’s
Word. The more you know the Bible, the more your
faith and ability grow.
The second reason is 1 Thessalonians 2:13

For this cause we also thank God
our lack of
without ceasing, because, when you
communication with received (or associated yourself
our God and with) the word of God which you
heard from us, you received it not as
forgetting that we
the word of men, but as it is – the
simply need to ask. form in which it exists - in truth, the
word of God, which effectually works
- actively operates also in you that
1 Thessalonians 2:13
believe.
tells us that when we
have God’s Word in us
it works in us.
Deuteronomy 29:29 confirms this principle and tells

us that the secret things belong to the LORD our
God: but those things which are revealed belong to
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us and to our children forever, that we may do all

the words of this law.
Deuteronomy 29:29
The more we seek His Word the The secret things
belong unto Jehovah
more the secret things will be our God; but the
revealed. When I say revealed I things that are
mean that during your day while revealed belong unto
us and to our
you are at work in the office that children for ever,
God’s Word in you will help you that we may do all
do what you need to do, in a way the words of this
law.
that you never imagined possible.
His Word clearly states in John 14:13 that if we ask

anything in His name that He will do it, so that the
Father will be glorified in the Son.
John 14:13
And I will do The principle is irrefutable if we
whatever you ask for understand that it comes with
in my name, so that
the Father's glory various conditions.
will be shown
through the Son.In John 15:7 His Word shows us
that if we abide in Him and His
words abide – (or are present) - in us we can ask
what we will and it will be done
for us.
John 15:7
If you remain in me
Now that is powerful! If we seek and my words remain
Him, He will guide us completely. in you, then you will
ask for anything you
He will give to us that which is in wish, and you shall
His perfect will for us. But first have it.
we must seek Him.
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In John 15:15 and 16 and tells us that if we bring

forth the fruit that remains, display love towards our
brother and ask in His name that we will receive.
Sure seems simple doesn’t it?
When our root is in His Word, and we are soaking up

all He has for us, and are speaking forth His Word
rather than speaking in
accordance with what we see in John 15:15-16
the circumstance, we will have I'm no longer calling
you servants because
anything we ask for. servants don't
We need to learn to think out of understand what their
the circumstance and in line with master is thinking and
planning. No, I've
His Word. Everything that our named you friends
five senses experience conforms because I've let you
our mind, and has a direct in on everything I've
heard from the
bearing on the rest of our life. Father.
This is why it is so important to You didn't choose me,

remember; I chose
transform our mind with His you, and put you in
Word so we can see life through the world to bear
His eyes, and not our own eyes. fruit, fruit that won't
spoil.
Go do something not normally As fruit bearers,

done in a shopping centre like whatever you ask the
Father in relation to
dancing anywhere like no one is me, he gives you.
watching you, and watch how
others react.
Reactions will vary from “it’s just not done…” or

“weird…” Maybe, but only because it’s taught in a
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more reserved way we are taught to “behave” in a

shopping centre.
Take a long look at this page and then write all that
you see while looking at the page in the spaces
provided.
1. __________ 2. __________
3 __________ 4. __________
5. __________ 6. __________
Perhaps you wrote down, words, numbers, black

letters, page numbers, paragraphs, white paper,
spaces between paragraphs, punctuation marks, but
is that all you could see?
Do the exercise again. Once more look at the page,

but allow your eyes to see what you are not
necessarily looking at as well.
Your vision is not only picking up the page and all

that is on it, but everything else around you as well.
Do not take your eyes off the page, and list all you
can see.
1. __________ 2. __________
3 __________ 4. __________
5. __________ 6. __________
Amazing what you can see, without even looking

directly at it, isn’t it?
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This exercise illustrates parts of the learning process,

and the way we become aware of things we have
not focused on but have seen within our peripheral
mindset.
By focusing our attention on one specific object,

person, or thought we use our Conscious mind. Our
conscious mind is what causes us to become aware
of new areas of knowledge and information; the
conscious mind is the work station of the mind and
assists us in gaining skill.
This skill is developed by

constantly focusing the PRACTICE DOES
mind on the new area of
NOT MAKE
knowledge, and utilizing it
in a way we believe it PERFECT,
should be applied. IT CREATES
HABITS.
The longer we apply the
new knowledge, the easier
we will be able to do what it is we have been
consciously attempting to do. Therein lays the
success or the failure of what you are attempting to
do.
The more we consciously practice a principle, the

more the mind will begin to react subconsciously,
and thus habit maketh the man.
We have all been conditioned with a statement that

says “Practice makes perfect.”
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
Take a look at the next statement and perhaps you

will have a rethink regarding that age old teaching.
“Practice creates habits”
If you do the same thing over and over and over in

exactly the same way, does that mean you will have
perfected that specific action? The answer is not as
clear cut as you may first surmise.
Your practicing must involve various areas of
effective focus to ensure you are practicing correctly;
let us use a practical example to illustrate this point.
If I were to go to a golf driving range with the best

golf clubs in the world, a glove for my left hand,
(being a right handed golfer), and ten buckets of
balls to whack away at my hearts content, and
wound up and whacked ball after ball in exactly the
same way, would I get any better?
Perhaps my technique, timing, grip, body position,

mental approach, physical conditioning, and attitude
toward the game are not at all what they should be,
and rather than progressing, I would digress to a
frustrated, unhappy hand blistered man with a very
negative view of playing golf.
Gary Player is well known for his reply to an

interviewers comment on what a lucky golfer he was.
His response was a classic “Yes its amazing, the
more I practice the luckier I get!” Once while playing
in a tournament he was not doing too well, but
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
delivered a drive which flew down the middle of the

fairway and landed in a perfect position for his
approach to the green, when a supporter
commented that he would give anything to hit a golf
ball as well as Player had hit the drive.
Gary looked at the guy and responded with a

comment that hit the nail on the head; he quirked,
”Anything? Would you get up at 5 every morning and
head for the course? Would you hit 1000 balls at the
same target until your hands are bleeding, go
bandage your wounds and then come out and do it
again? Would you fail innumerable times and get out
and try again? Because that’s what it takes to hit a
ball like that.”
Player showed true wisdom with his response.
The subconscious mind reacts according to conscious

programming and needs careful guidance. Your
environment programs your subconscious to the
reality of what you perceive to be true. We live out
of our subconscious mind, but the programmed
response is a direct result of conscious conditioning.
This is the very reason God has told us to renew our
minds daily and to take our every thought captive.
An 80 percent decline in creativity has been noted in

children when one specific activity is introduced into
their routine. You may be shocked to know that this
innocent yet life altering activity is nothing other
than a colouring in book!! Why? Remember what
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Mom said? Stay between the lines, if you go over

then your picture looks ugly!! This is an example of
something that becomes a limitation because of the
way we are conditioned to see it.
Boundaries in thinking are boundaries in life. Do not

be conformed to the thinking of this world, but be
renewed by the Word of God!!!
What is Husbandry?
If you are not familiar with the word “Husbandry”,

you may as a wife humorously respond, “It’s what
my husband doesn’t practice!!!”
If you don’t know what it means you are

subconsciously incompetent or ignorant of what it
means.
Other than now being aware of the word

“Husbandry”, you may have no other understanding
of what the word actually means, and have now
moved to the next level of learning, which is
conscious incompetence, where you have been made
aware of the word. Another word for this level is
therefore awareness.
A person who practices Husbandry deals with

animals. They ensure animals are fed correctly, that
the environment is comfortable, and sees to the
general well being of that animal, generally focusing
on diet, pregnancy and care of new born animals.
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A LIFE WORTH LIVING
Did you know that if you have had a pet, that you
have practiced the basics of husbandry?
Perhaps you still own one. Go find out a little about

the best environment for your pet. Get onto the
internet and type keyword search “Husbandry” in a
search engine site, and you will be amazed at the
information that will be available to you right now.
You would now become consciously competent. A
general word for this is Skilled.
Perhaps you enjoy what you find, and decide to

make the environment favorable for your pet. Once
you have done all you can to change the
environment, diet and general well being of your pet,
you will be able to share this information comfortably
with someone who asks regarding the subject.
400 hours of research,

and study on a subject
will enable you to EVERY GREAT LEAP
effectively apply, FORWARD IN YOUR
understand, and impart LIFE COMES AFTER
knowledge to a new YOU HAVE MADE A
learner. You would now
CLEAR DECISION OF
be subconsciously
competent, otherwise SOME KIND.
called a Practitioner.
There are three types of people; the learned, the

unlearned and the learning. We should always
remain teachable and open to learn.
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The average South African spends between 500 and

800 hours in their cars a year, the equivalent of 100
working days a year in their cars.
Imagine listening to powerful teaching CD’s or Tapes
during that time that could educate and grow you?
An interesting result occurred in the pool at the 2004

summer Olympics. The difference between first and
eighth place in a woman’s 50 m free style heat in the
2004 Athens Olympic Games was 0.41 of a second,
with the winner hitting the wall in 21.06 and the
eighth placed contestant hitting the wall at 21.47.
What a small difference for such a great prize. How

disappointing for the person who came eighth to
look up and see that they had missed first place by
less than half a second.
We need to do what we do with purpose,

understanding that if we get better and are able to
grow from life’s experience that we will be in a
constant place of learning.
If we choose not to change or grow according to

experience then we will die. Choose to learn and you
choose to live!!
The Bible challenges the boundaries of our thinking.

It reveals God’s thoughts regarding us and gives us
His perspective.
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When we are communicated with in a way that we

have not been communicated with before, and
perceive things anew we must choose to act anew or
stay the same and be content with what we have
always experienced.
Anything you hear whether good or bad is a like a

seed sown into your life and you determine what you
do with it.
Read on page 43 what God’s principle is regarding a

seed sown, and then consider what seeds have been
sown into your life, and finally look at what those
seeds have brought forth in your life.
To complete this chapter I would like to share a

powerful revelation God gave Chani recently.
Chani was so excited about what God was bringing

to fruition in our lives regarding the seeds we had
sown and she thought to herself “The sky is the
limit!”
God spoke to her right there and said “Don’t limit

yourself; man has landed on the moon!!”
“Two things limit you as man. The first is your own

will, which is the ability to choose”
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“The other thing that you are

limited by is My Word, (the Psalms 138:2
Bible).” I will worship toward
thy holy temple, and
praise thy name for
If God said it, that settles it!! If thy loving kindness
we choose to be in His word we and for thy truth: for
thou hast magnified
are unlimited. thy word above all thy
name.
God places His Word above His
name, His name is the name above all names and
one day every knee will bow and every tongue
confess that He is Lord.
What we are able to do with our God by our side and

in our lives is limitless. We must just learn what we
are able to do, by seeking His Word.
Matthew 7:7 & 8 says “Ask, and you will receive;

seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be
opened to you. For everyone who asks will receive,
and anyone who seeks will find, and the door will be
opened to those who knock. (GNB)
Why would you ask? What would you ask for?

Why would you seek? What are you seeking?
If the door was opened, what would you find?
Everything is a matter of learning. Never stop

learning.
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Matthew 13:3-13
He used parables to tell them many things. "Once there was a

man who went out to sow grain.
As he scattered the seed in the field, some of it fell along the

path, and the birds came and ate it up.
Some of it fell on rocky ground, where there was little soil.

The seeds soon sprouted, because the soil wasn't deep.
But when the sun came up, it burned the young plants; and
because the roots had not grown deep enough, the plants
soon dried up.
Some of the seed fell among thorn bushes, which grew up and
choked the plants.
But some seeds fell in good soil, and the plants bore grain:
some had one hundred grains, others sixty, and others thirty."
And Jesus concluded, "Listen, then, if you have ears!"
"Listen, then, and learn what the parable of the sower means.
Those who hear the message about the Kingdom but do not
understand it are like the seeds that fell along the path. The
evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in them.
The seeds that fell on rocky ground stand for those who
receive the message gladly as soon as they hear it.
But it does not sink deep into them, and they don't last long.
So when trouble or persecution comes because of the
message, they give up at once.
The seeds that fell among thorn bushes stand for those who
hear the message; but the worries about this life and the love
for riches choke the message, and they don't bear fruit.
And the seeds sown in the good soil stand for those who hear
the message and understand it: they bear fruit, some as much
as one hundred, others sixty, and others thirty."
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WALKING OUT THE DOOR.
Becoming who you have become is not as important

as becoming who you will become.
What would you really like to learn to do?

___________________________________________
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Who would you like to learn from?

___________________________________________
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To be … (a musician, comedian, multimillionaire,

evangelist, TV personality, Springbok athlete, etc...)
…or not to be?
That is the question!! Only you can answer it!!!
The result is directly linked to the formula used, and

not only the intended outcome.
You are what you have learnt to be, you will act only
within the framework of what it is you know.
If you empty the money in your purse into your

mind, your mind will fill your purse with money.
It will cost you to grow. It will cost you even more

not to.
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PERSONAL REFLECTION
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CHAPTER 2
CONTROL
Who, What and Why?
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In Galatians 5:22 & 23 the Bible says “But the fruit of

the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.
Against such things there is no law”
In Romans 12:2 the Bible says “Be not conformed to

this world; but be transformed by the renewing of
your mind, that you may prove what that good and
acceptable will of God is.”
The only way you can prove something is if you

show something to be true, you need to provide
evidence that what you are saying is substantiated.
People must be able to see that you are not a

conformist by the way you act and live your life.
This sounds easier

than what it actually is TRUE POWER DOES
in reality. Let us take NOT LIE IN WHAT YOU
a look at some
examples God has
CAN CONTROL IN
given us. OTHER PEOPLE; IT
LIES IN WHAT YOU
When Jesus healed a CAN UNLEASH.
man born blind by
spitting on the ground
and restoring his eyes, he taught us a lesson in
control.
As he had been born blind the disciples ask him, who

had sinned, the parents or the man. Jesus answers
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that it was neither, but that it happened so that

God’s glory may be shown in the life of this man.
Let’s look at what John 9 says happens next:
He (Jesus) spits on the ground. Made mud. Put it on
the mans eyes. Told him to Go and wash in the pool
of Siloam. The man does what Jesus says. The man
goes home seeing.
Everyone gets confused and can’t believe it’s the

same guy!! He confirms: “…it is me!!” They ask
where is the man who healed you. He didn’t know.
They take him to the Pharisees. The Pharisees
question Him. He tells the story again. The Pharisees
question the whole thing, get all confused. Call in the
guys parents. They get all scared. Tell the Pharisees
to ask their son because they’re scared of the
powers that be. They ask him again to repeat the
story and put the pressure on this time for him to
change his story. The guy gets irritated and stands
his ground and asks such an interesting question,
here is what he asks in John 9:22:
“Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to

become his disciples too?”
They go crazy, insult him. He keeps giving glory to

God for what has happened, even though he doesn’t
even know where Jesus came from. The Pharisees
loose it badly and throw the guy out because they
believe his life of blindness was because of his sin
and he has no authority to stand there and lecture
them on the subject. Wow! What a bold man.
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Do you want that boldness? Do you want to see like

that man saw? Do you want to walk like you have
been walking until now or do you want to be free.
The Pharisees also admit that they are disciples of

Moses, and of his law, and were therefore subject to,
or controlled by that law, and were not prepared to
be a disciple of a man from a city near by, even
though all the prophecies pointed directly at our
Lord.
In Genesis 1:26 and 1:28 when

God was creating man He says THE OPPOSITE
man is to have dominion and OF FAITH IS
that he is to subdue the earth. DOUBT.
We were created in His likeness
and were given His authority,
FAITH BRINGS
Satan came to steal and to kill HOPE.
and to destroy (that which God DOUBT
created us to be), but Jesus BRINGS FEAR.
came to give us life and life in
abundance.
In Romans 8:1 we read that there is therefore now

no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit.
What are you walking after?

What are you being controlled by?
How can you change the impact those things are
having on your life?
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The same choice that God gave Adam in the garden

is available to you and I right here in this moment.
We need not wait to get control, we already have it,
but so few really understand it.
When we look at the account of Jesus healing the

man born blind, there are various loci of control in
motion.
To understand control we need to look at two things:
1. The controller 2. The controlled
It is a case of:
1. Who controls who?
Right now, what ever you do, please don’t think of a

pink elephant!!
What’s the first thing that came into your mind?
A pink elephant right? I just controlled your

thoughts.
2. Who controls what?
Push the light switch on the wall!! Did the light go

on? If so you controlled the switch, which in turn
takes us to the next locus of control.
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3. What controls what?
The switch allowed the electricity to flow to the

filament in the bulb, which glows in the vacuum in
the glass container, and then controls the visibility in
the room.
4. What controls who?
Many things have control of us as human beings.

The list is endless and includes: Food, Circumstance,
Drugs, Traffic, Cigarettes, Fear, Our kids, to name
but a few.
He (Jesus) spits on the ground and made mud. The

word made in the Greek is poy-eh'-o and means take
or work with. Jesus took control of it and worked
with it.
Told him to Go and wash – A direct command of

control.
He had a choice though. How would you have

reacted if some guy comes and spits on the ground
and puts mud on your eyes and then says “Go and
wash it off?” The blind man listens. And receives the
healing Jesus spoke of that would give God the glory
He spoke of. I must work the works of Him that sent
me, while it is day: the night comes, when no man
can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the
light of the world. (John 9:4)
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The people take the man to the Pharisees. Why is it

that they have to try and control this man and could
not just accept the miracle?
The Pharisees try and control his response to gratify

the law they are holding onto and being controlled
by. They go as far as to try and control the parents,
who take no ownership and are too afraid of getting
involved, but shift the control back to their son.
What would you have said if he were your son?
But the man controls himself with wisdom and

continues to give glory to God for the miracle. He
tells them what they don’t want to hear and gets
thrown out for his effort.
How often we sell our souls for much less than what
this man had to loose. Jesus goes to see him
because of his experience and talks to him.
If we just kept our control would God not talk more

and direct us more easily?
Those who were questioning the whole experience

would not see the Glory of God and chose to believe
what they had always believed, they chose to
conform and follow the norm.
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This is how most people see their lives. This is the

biggest lie of the devil, but most people meander
through life not taking control of life and thereby
allowing the circumstance to control.
Circumstance Control
Me
This diagram indicates what most people believe

their life is like and that they are in a circumstance
and that the circumstance controls who they are and
where they will go and who they will become.
As indicated in this diagram we may be in diverse

circumstances but we have the
control inside of us to
Circumstance respond according to the
circumstance and
Me therefore choose the
Control ultimate destination we
shall reach.
We need only to look at James 1:2 to see the truth.
“My brothers, count it all joy when you fall into

diverse temptations; knowing this, that the trying of
your faith develops patience. But let patience have
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her perfect work, that you may be perfect and

complete, wanting nothing.
In verse 12 it goes on to say: “Anyone who meets a

testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it
out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in
love with God, the reward is life and more life. (MSG)
In Job 2:8 Job makes a decision to sit down in the

ashes. Why did he do this? Was
he in control? Or did the Job 2:8
And he took a piece
circumstance control him? He had of pottery to scrape
lost everything? What was his himself withal; and he
motivation? sat down among the
ashes.
When we look at the direct

translation term used to describe the action as he sat
down the word used is yaw-shab' and literally means
to settle, or to marry. Do you settle or marry
because you have to? Is this not a choice? Do you
not have to be in control of yourself to do either?
His motivation was God.
Not the things of God, but God and only God.
Not once did he loose control of his motivation even

when he faced great pain, loss and sorrow.
Wow!!! To loose it all and still control your

motivation and choose to serve and live no matter
what.
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What is amusing is that we moan when it’s a little

too cold. As Rob Filmer a good friend and inspiration
always reminds me it’s not the weather, it’s the
whether. A life worth living is determined by the
inside decision and not the outside condition.
You have to choose to take control of you and make

today the best you can, no matter the circumstance.
Only you can choose.
I can choose for me, but you got to choose for you. I
can’t make you happy, sad, or upset or anything you
don’t want to be. If I make you feel anything it is
only because you give me that power over you, and
your emotions.
All you need to do to be seen as a happy person is

choose to be in a good mood now, and now and now
and now.
Having the best attitude you can have in this

moment is a choice you make and one which will get
you much further than allowing the moment to
control your emotion.
Many people hold on to things that happened five

years ago and have a bad attitude cause they choose
to harbor bitterness because of an incident they can
do nothing about.
I have an offer to make. If you can come and knock

on my door on May 27 2005 at 12:15 which was five
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minutes before I typed this line in this book I will

give you $500 million. You see it’s gone. Can you do
anything about it?
Take the Control in this moment it will change the

past, and will most definitely bring a happier brighter
future because of your attitude and motivation.
Ultimately, it would be an exciting and ideal situation

if everybody controlled their own lives and stopped
trying to control others… making progressive
decisions, pressing on in faith to each new challenge
and reward, emotionally, mentally, physically,
spiritually, financially and socially.
You have control; take it now, in this moment. Take

it away from any thing affecting you in a negative
way, people situations or things.
You have a choice!!
To have a bad day because someone “made” you

angry is the evidence that someone else controls
you!
Choose your attitude at home, at church, at play, at

work in fact everywhere you may go.
You choose to “earn a living” vs. “living while you

earn”, “bringing up the children” vs. “raising the
kids”
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Make the choice, or don’t!!!!! It’s up to you and no

one else is going to do it for you. Only you can do it.
I close this chapter with a lesson from life I

experienced with my daughter Zoë who was 9 Years
old at the time. When God revealed the gift of
control to me, Zoë was struggling to keep her room
tidy.
I walked into her room one evening and it looked as

though a hurricane had swept through and dispersed
the contents of her cupboard, toy box and
everything else in her room onto the floor.
I asked her to tidy the room and she told me she

would do it in a few minutes as soon as she was
finished doing what she was doing, to which I
agreed. Half an hour later, I walked into the room to
find she had fallen asleep without having done what
I had asked her to do.
I ended up tidying the room, because we had no

helper in the day and to leave the room this way was
unacceptable.
The same thing happened the next night, except that
the room was in a worse mess than the night before.
Teagan who was 3 at the time helped make sure of
this.
I was assured the room would be tidied as soon as

they had bathed. An hour later found two girls fast
asleep, and one unhappy dad tidying the room.
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You may say I was a dumb dad for not waking them,
but have you ever tried to wake a three year old
when they are sleeping. It seemed like more work
than tidying the room myself.
My loss of control was teetering on a cliffs edge on

the third night when I walked in to find a tornado
struck room and two girls hard at play.
I gave an ultimatum to the girls: 5 minutes and the

room was to be tidied, or they could go and wait in
the bathroom with the wooden spoon!! My plan
worked. After 5 minutes the room was spotless.
I felt, however, that I had not truly sorted the root of

the problem out.
The question I asked myself was why did they do it

in time? Would it have to be done the same way
every night? What was motivating them? The
resounding answer that registered in my spirit was
FEAR!! The act of tidying the room was more
pleasurable than an encounter with the wooden
spoon.
Nothing had changed inside; the outside action was

only a manifestation of fear relating to the
circumstance.
All of us can relate to this experience, I certainly can;

from teachers to my parents to sisters, and cousins,
friends and colleagues and bosses and even people
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we don’t really know expecting us to do certain

things or act in a specific way or else they would be
upset.
We react to circumstance because the pain of not

acting or reacting according to the way others want
us to will put us in a perceived position where we
feel that they will hold something against us, or that
their resulting action will cause pain in our lives.
This is manipulation and is not in accordance with

God’s Word.
I knew I was wrong and needed God’s wisdom in my

life to empower Zoë.
I went fishing the next day and asked God to show

me what to do. As I was walking around the dam I
found a triangular rock and God told me to pick it up
and put it into my pocket.
The lesson God taught me was powerful and

changed the way I saw my life and the way Zoë
would see hers from that day onward.
When I arrived home I sat Zoë down and told her I

had something for her that was more valuable than a
million rand.
I pulled the rock out of my pocket and told her that

what I had in my hand, for the sake of the object
lesson, would represent her control, and her life.
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She looked confused so I explained what I meant. I

told her that I was going to hand her control (the
little rock) of her life and that she was now going to
decide what she wanted to do with it from that
moment onward.
I told her that if she had the rock it would entitle her
to do what ever she wanted whenever she wanted
and would include an allowance of 50 rand pocket
money a week, if she was able to keep the control
for the entire week. She liked the sound of that!!
The conditions that followed however needed to be

adhered to or else she would loose the rock and the
corresponding control that it represented.
She was to: (You guessed it) keep her room tidy, not
pull her sisters hair, or kick her in the shin. She was
to do her homework, without having to be told to do
it. If her mom or I told her to do something or not
do something then she was to obey the instruction
as the instruction would be for her own benefit.
She was so excited and ran off with her rock to tell
her mother the news.
I took the rock from her 20 times in the first week!
What do you think was the only way she was able to
get it back?
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Think for a second and write your answer in the

spaces below.
1. ________________ 2. ________________
3. ________________ 4. ________________
Act according to the rules we had stipulated?

Do what was expected?
Prove herself to us?
Show us she was able?
The only way Zoë could get her control back was by
walking up to me, putting her little hand out and
saying, “Dad can I please have my control back?”
She blew me away one day: She walked down the

passage in the house balancing two glasses on a tray
held on one hand above her head like a waitress, I
asked her to carry the tray with two hands as the
risk of the glasses falling was relatively high. (Having
been a waiter in my life I knew that a possible
accident was looming)
My professional, confident, little waitress-in-training-

daughter responded, “I won’t drop them dad.”
The words were hardly spoken when she turned to

walk into the kitchen and bumped the tray against
the wall and dropped the glasses which smashed to
the floor in pieces.
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Instead of shouting at her I simply said, “Give me

your control”. To which she responded accordingly,
and handed me the little rock.
As I turned around and started to walk down the

passage, trying my best to keep my composure
before ordering her to tidy up the mess, my little girl
taught me one of the most powerful lessons.
As I turned around to give her the order to tidy up

the mess, she said, “Dad can I please have my rock
back?”
She got it, and so did I!!!
I said nothing handed her the rock and was amazed

to see my little girl tidy up the mess, pick up the
glass and go out the following Saturday and
purchase two new glasses.
9 years old? 19 years old, 29, 39, 49, 59, 69 years

old?
If any man be in Christ he is a new creature, the old

things are passed away; behold all things are
become new.
Does God expect you to do anything? Could you ever

prove yourself worthy?
It is paid in full.
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Ask for your life back, ask for the life He planned for
you and not the one you think you have to live for
anybody or anything.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those

who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of
life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of
sin and death. Rom 8:1, 2.
Did Jesus try please man? Was he sorry about

anything that he did? Was he running around trying
to do what man expected him to do?
Never!! He taught us to be free and to walk

according to the will of the Father and not of man,
even demonstrating what He meant by dying so that
we could live.
And your husband frustrates you?
Your boss bugs you?
Your kids irritate you?
The traffic drives you crazy?
I offer you the choice to take control right now in

this moment, the opportunity to walk as God
intended for each man to walk.
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The simple decision to be a God inspired, passion

filled, purpose focused individual lies in the choice to
be 100 % in control of you. No one makes you do
anything. The decision to act right now is yours and
yours alone.
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APPROACHING THE WATER,

PREPARING TO DRINK.
There comes a moment in all our lives where a

decision changes everything about everything.
Will you take control of YOU right here and right

now?
What, or who, do you choose in this moment, to

take control away from regarding YOU in achieving
or becoming who you most want to become?
Accept responsibility for YOU!!!
God places before you life and death; YOU CHOOSE.
Your boss won’t, I won’t, your spouse won’t. They

have to do it for themselves
Say “I take control of ME, I become who I choose to

become”
Not even God can choose for you, he gave you that
right.
What he did choose though; is that He chose you!!
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I CHOOSE TODAY TO TAKE CONTROL OF ME

IN THE FOLLOWING WAY:
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CHAPTER 3
COMMUNICATION
Responding to the input.
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I begin this chapter by sharing a statement that I

believe with all my heart to be true no matter how
you look at it.
A woman without her man is nothing.
We will come back to this statement at a later stage,

but for you woman who are screaming,
“Chauvinist!!” please relax and read on!!
To you men, who may be nodding away and

agreeing, take it easy as you may be in for a lesson
in how important it is to really take time to
understand and communicate effectively
All will be revealed as to what I am attempting to say

through making this statement and the lesson that
we will all learn from the power of the words, actions
and emphasis placed on the way we transmit
messages, and how we receive them.
During the time spent researching the subject of

Communication I became aware that this word
“Communication” is something we speak of as being
critical to maintain relationships, run business, sort
out problems, stop wars, do introspection, pray and
in fact gives you and I the ability to interact in this
moment here, whether you are reading or hearing
this statement.
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Have you come to cast the course in the ball in the

shop for semakan for semikinis in the Spur? For the
baskets!!
The baskets for semikinis!! For the Spur?
Did I lose you for a second there?
This is a statement I say to waiters and waitresses in

restaurants whenever I go out, just to see what their
response will be to mixed up words!!
Guess what they say!!
Not, “Sorry sir, could you repeat that please?”

Nor, “I didn’t quite get that”
But more often than not a response that sounds

something like, “I am sorry sir, we are out of stock!!”
Wisdom is a word as is this a word. But to know a

word or even the meaning of a word means nothing.
To take a word and understand how it impacts your
life, by applying it, is applied wisdom.
That means that knowledge without application

leaves you exactly where you are right now.
You see, that is communication!!
Communication is not only about information

sharing.
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Communication involves understanding how the

interactions between two entities affect each other.
Communication involves a response from the

receiving entity because of what it is that entity has
understood during or after the information it receives
from the entity sending it.
Communication needs to be seen within the context

of the environment it is related to, directly influenced
by the specific place it takes place.
Communication is more than giving information; it is

more than getting information;
It is more than the intended message.
It is more than the message received.
It is not about the entities involved, it is not about

the desired action, it is not about the quality of the
message.
It is more than the words used.
It is not about the quality of the equipment used

when transmitting a message.
It is more than these things and so many other

things we believe it to be about.
Then what is it?
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Communication is the response, action or outcome a

message evokes.
Communication is a specific response to a specific

input.
John 3:16 tells us that our God so loved the world,

that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever
believes in Him shall not perish, but will have eternal
life.
Deut 30:19 says I call heaven and earth to record

this day against you, that I have set before you life
and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose
life, that both you and your seed may live.
What response you choose at this point is up to you.

You see God does not tell you what to do, he gives
you a choice, and The Bible is not called His Word
for nothing.
He is trying to communicate; how will you respond?
I will worship toward Your holy temple, and praise

Your name for Your loving kindness and for Your
truth for You Have magnified Your Word above your
name. Psalm 138:2
A young man preparing for a long trip remarked to

his companion, “I am about packed. I only have to
put in a guidebook, a lamp, a mirror, a microscope, a
compass, a telescope, a volume of fine poetry, a love
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story, a book of dreams, a few biographies, a

package of old letters, a book of songs, a sword,
some armor, a hammer and a set of old books I have
been studying”
“How can you pack all this?” his friend protested. “It
is impossible to get all that in your suitcase, and it’s
nearly time to go!!”
“Oh, but it doesn’t take much room, or time to pack.”

replied the young man as he placed his Bible in the
corner of his bag and closed the lid.
God communicates with us through His Word,

through the pastor, through our kids, through our
circumstance, through His Holy spirit.
I prayed once that God would allow me to hear His

voice and discovered He answered even that prayer
in my life. The more I read His Word the louder His
voice became, the clearer I heard Him speak.
We need to learn from this example of what

communication is. You see you have a choice how
you respond.
If you accept John 3:16 to be true and believe in

Him and also believe that you will have eternal life
because of the belief in Jesus, then read on. Find out
what else He is saying to you and about you.
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That is how He changes you and your circumstance,

by speaking to you through His Word.
Want to see what one letter can do to a message?
Below is an e-mail I sent out when Chani and I

organized a day for raising funds for the World Burn
Foundation… see if you can spot the mistake…
(Needless to say the response was overwhelming… )
APPEAL FOR DONATION AND / OR SPONSORSHIP
Kidz Inc. Nursery school is organizing a fun-day for big

and small to enjoy. Events for the day will include:
Boere Sport, Potjiekos Competition, Helicopter flips,

Tea Tent, Rugby on big screen TV, Kids sports, Dub
from SABC, Bingo, ABBOT AND CRAB (SINGERS)
Dirkie, Shrek, Humping Castles, FUN, FUN, FUN for all,
Flea market Stalls, Food stalls, and much, much more.
In a letter from a plaintiff to the defendant when

dealing with an issue relating to children born out of
a previous marriage, the typist hit a c instead of a v
and the words “precious marriage” appeared on the
legal document. Not entirely the message that was
intended.
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So you think spelling is important? I use this next

passage in my training sessions to illustrate the fact
that communication is not just about words
THE HUMAN MIND
The phaomnneil pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed
it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the
wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? And I Tghouht Slepilng was

iprmoatnt
The tower of Babel as describes in Genesis 11:1-9 is

such a wonderful example of what the power of
effective communication can achieve when people
are in agreement.
In verse 5 God came down out of heaven to see
what man was up to. He recognized the power of
their agreement and that the heart of man was
determined to exalt itself above what He had created
it to be.
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By confusing them as described in verse 7, God

caused them to not understand each other, God
caused a division by stopping their ability to
communicate, which stopped them from continuing
with their plan.
When God called Samuel 3 times one night Samuel

heard a voice but did not recognize it and therefore
did not respond in the correct way, but rather in
accordance with what it was that he was used to.
When Eli became aware of what was happening he

told Samuel how to respond and the Lord was able
to speak to His servant.
Jonah ran away when God commanded him to go to

Nineveh. He did not respond to the input the way he
should have, and ended up deep in the belly of a big
fish.
Jesus called His disciples with 2 words he simply said

“Follow me.” And they did. The rest is History. They
responded to the input.
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The diagram below shows how communication

works.
ENCODED
MSG X Msg X needs to be MSG X

Transmitted back to
SENDER The receiver in RECEIVER
Order for true
Communication
MSG X to take place
MSG X
DECODED
Now ladies; it is time to end off with what I began,

at the start of this chapter. Take 2 comas and insert
them in the sentence and it will say exactly the
opposite.
A woman, without her, man is nothing!!
It’s never just what you say; it’s how you say it.
To get the right response, ensure that the input is

correct.
Make sure that if you receive an input that you too

are responding effectively.
Communication is not only about the sender of the

message, but more importantly the receiver’s
response to the senders input
That is true communication.

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MY RESPONSE.
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CHAPTER 4
LEARN TO LISTEN
LISTEN TO LEARN
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James 1:19 instructs us to be swift to hear, slow to

speak, and slow to wrath.
When man was created God gave him two ears and
one mouth. There is a lesson in that… we should
listen twice as much as we speak.
When God gave us our hands he gave us something

specific to go and do.
When God gave us our feet he gave us somewhere

specific to go.
When he gave us our

eyes He gave them to
us so that we would
IT IS AN ART TO BE A
not just look, but that GOOD LISTENER.
we would truly see
When He gave us our ears, He gave them so that we

would not just hear, but that we would truly listen.
Not all of us can hear, but all of us can learn to

listen.
I met a lady at a conference once when I was doing

a session on listening, who informed me that her
daughter was born deaf.
She informed me that her daughter was an incredible

listener despite her inability to hear sound. I share
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this because her daughter had to learn to listen as

do we all.
It is an art to be a good listener, and anybody can

develop this ability.
It is sad how often people get frustrated and

annoyed in relationships with the people they work
and live with because they are not listened to.
The student wanted to know from a teacher how

best he could improve his conversations ability.
The teachers held up a finger as if to stop his

question, paused and answered, “Listen my son.”
“I am listening sir”, said the student after a few

moments of awkward silence. “Carry on with the
lesson.”
“There is no more to teach” replied the teacher.
We need to L.E.A.R.N. to listen. What follows are the

five simple steps I was taught many years ago to
show that I was truly listening. To do all five takes
some practice but try one or two next time you are
having a
conversation and Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
the person you are and don't lean on your own
understanding.
talking to will share
a whole lot easier.
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L - Lean forward.
To lean means to support oneself.
Give the person you are listening to your body

language.
Face them and let them see you are focused on

them. I don’t mean you should lean into their
personal space; it may make them want to run away!
Just position your body in a way that makes them
feel you are actually paying attention to them.
In sessions with small groups I have a bit of fun

when teaching this technique. I get to know the
peoples names pretty quickly and let’s say there are
two people on the opposite sides of the group; one
named Steven and the other one Eric.
I purposefully walk up to Eric and say, “Steven how

does it feel when I talk to you like this?” Neither of
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the people responds to me because the guy I am

talking to stares at me blankly as if to say, “Hey
dude… I am not Steven!!” while Steven sees me
speaking to Eric and does
not respond to his own Matthew 6:22
name, even if I repeat the "Your eyes are windows into
statement again and again. your body. If you open your
eyes wide in wonder and
belief, your body fills up with
Its loads of fun and light.
eventually everyone laughs
because they all see the non responsiveness of
someone if you are addressing them but not facing
them when attempting to communicate and
especially when listening.
E - Eye contact
To look someone in the eye is important, but don’t

over do it
Young people in some cultures in Africa show respect

by not looking an elder in the eye when addressing
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or communicating with them and make a point of

diverting their eyes. Others demand that eye contact
is made.
A young Zulu boy speaking to his Grandfather would

show honour and respect by diverting his eyes, while
a young white Afrikaans boy would show respect by
looking directly at his grandfather.
But what would happen if the young Zulu boy was

addressing an older white man, or the young
Afrikaans boy addressed an older Zulu man?
Ever wonder why communication seemed difficult at

times?
In business culture it is acceptable to look someone

in the eye. Remember it should not be a staring
match and should be restricted to the nasal triangle,
between the tip of the nose and the eyes.
Any higher and it will distract the talker. Any lower

and you will be intruding on the mouth, which is an
intimate zone.
Seeing falsely is worse than blindness. A man who is

too dim-sighted to discern the road from the ditch,
may feel which is which; but if the ditch appears
manifestly to him to be the road, and the road to be
the ditch, what shall become of him?
Use your eyes to listen!!
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A - Acknowledge
This is simply done by saying one or

two words while the person is
talking and is effective with the Nod
as discussed later in this section.
Words may include:
“Yes”, “Really”, “That makes sense”,

“Okay”, and if you are South African
maybe even, “Nooit bru”
With all seriousness though, all you are doing is

encouraging the talker to go on with what they are
saying, to get more information.
I sat in a divorce court once for many hours listening

to case after case and the reasons for the many
separations. Various reasons were given to which the
judge would respond with various questions as to
whether or not the marriage could be saved.
Break down in communication received a loud and

clear “Divorce granted”.
If only we took the time to acknowledge one

another. We would see so much more of the good
life, with those who mean so much to us. For it is in
the moment that we demand to be heard and don’t
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simply sit down and listen that we cease to

communicate.
If we do not acknowledge we pretend not to hear or
understand and we will not communicate effectively.
In 2 John1:7 it says “Many deceivers have gone out

over the world, people who do not acknowledge that
Jesus Christ came as a human being. Such a person
is a deceiver and the Enemy of Christ.
An acknowledgment is necessary to seal a covenant

and acknowledgment is therefore necessary when
we communicate and listen to one another
R – Reflect
To reflect means to take what the

speaker has said and ask a
question that helps them
understand what you understand,
or to make a statement that will
do the same.
Johnny is sitting at the back of the

class day dreaming and his
teacher asked if he has trouble
hearing to which Johnny replies,
“No sir, I have trouble listening.”
An example of this could be the following:
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“My dream house has got a purple roof, wooden

window frames, painted blue on the outside. The
front door is painted highlighter green with six pink
dots painted on the door. We have a pool which is
painted black and a turquoise picket fence which
surrounds it.”
A reflection of what was said by the speaker would

need to be:
A) Unbiased. Do not give your opinion on their taste.
e.g. “You’re a little weird, don’t you think!” wouldn’t

cut it!!
Rather say; “Those are some interesting colours,

Why the pink dots?”
B) Try and gather more information.
The purple roof is a long lasting colour that does not

get affected too badly by the sun. The Green door
represents our colourful family and the pink dots;
well, each person who lives here. The pool painted
black increases the temperature in our pool by 5
degrees and the picket fence is for safety.
(Just a note: this is not really my dream house.

That’s why we moved out just recently. Only
joking!!!)
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N - Nod
A Nod is like a
whisper if you do
it people do it
back.
Try it.
Walk up to
someone and
greet them, and
at the same time nod. It is amazing how many
people will nod back.
As a sales person you can use this technique very

effectively. When you meet a new prospect for the
first time, smile and nod a lot. If you get them to
nod back you have got them to say yes already. Try
it, it works!!!
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WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IN THIS CHAPTER IS:

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CHAPTER 5
THOUGHTS
Thinking outside of the box is

not as important as good old
thinking!!
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The subject of thoughts is wonderful; it could be a

book on its own.
1 Corinthians 13:11 says that as children, we spoke

as a child, we understood as a child, we thought as a
child: but when we became a man (or woman), we
should put away childish things.
We need to change what we have always thought,

by renewing what is in our mind.
We do not see things as they are; we see things as

we are.
If we are immature in our thinking we will be

immature in our action and will not change the end
result.
If we always do what we have always done, we will

always get what we have always got.
The limitation of our systematic education and

worldly thinking lies in the moral of a story of a
young girl who with much determination and pride
set about learning her times tables.
Starting with the simplest equation of 1x1=1 and

ending on 12x12=144, she finally had them learned
perfectly.
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Her grandfather came to visit and she excitedly sat

him down with a cup of tea and started reciting to
him from 1x1=1 all the way to 12x12=144.
“That’s fantastic!!” the little girl’s grandfather

remarked, “…but tell me, what is 13x13?”
“Oh Granddad,” she responded, “...there’s no such

thing.
What is 13x13?
What is 14x14?
Is this as good as it gets or are you gonna get any

better?
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers whatever is true,

honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report; if there be
any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these
things.
Proverbs 19:8 says that to acquire wisdom is to love

oneself: People who cherish understanding will
prosper.
To begin to understand the process of thought, we

need to understand the power of the mind, for this is
where everything you become begins.
In the Bible there are over 400 references to the

mind, thinking, thoughts and other related topics.
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As discussed earlier in the chapter on learning we

saw that we think subconsciously as well as
consciously.
We have on average 75 000 thoughts a day. We

think faster than the speed of light which is
measured at 186 000 miles per second!!
We are able to think without the decision to do so,

and therefore often get ourselves into situations we
never intended to get into.
I love the progression lesson below which I have up

on my cupboard in the kitchen.
Your life is a direct result of the thoughts you allow

to effect your action.
Proverbs 23:7 says as a man thinks in his heart, so is

he.
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A hobo has the life he has because of the thoughts

he entertains and so does the successful multi-
millionaire.
Take your thoughts captive, renew your mind daily,

and think about what you are thinking about!!
Romans 12:3 For I say, through the grace given

unto me, to every man that is among you, not to
think of himself more highly than, he ought to think;
but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to
every man the measure of faith.
1 Corinthians 3:18 says let no man deceive himself.

If any man among you seems to be wise in this
world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.
To think too highly of yourself and then let everyone

know about it will exasperate others, and they will
not want to be around you.
Think excellently and act humbly. Excellence comes

from thinking in accordance with what the Bible says
about you, and acting humbly means acting in
accordance with that thinking.
If you are emotionally anxious or stressed out and

the circumstances you find yourself in seem too
much to handle, maybe you need to have a thought
change, here is one to really make you think. It
comes from 2 Peter 1:3-10.
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“His divine power has given unto us all things that

pertain unto life and godliness, through the
knowledge of Him that has called us to glory and
virtue.”
Remember that He came to give us life and life more

abundantly… Think differently!!!
“Who has given unto us exceeding great and

precious promises: that by these you might be
partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the
corruption that is in the world through lust.”
Remember that you are in Control… Think

differently!!
“And beside this, giving all eagerness,

Add to your faith; excellence;
And to excellence; knowledge
And to knowledge; self-control
And to self-control; patience
And to patience; godliness
And to godliness; brotherly kindness
And to brotherly kindness; love. “
If you don’t choose to think, your thoughts will take

you somewhere anyway.
For if these things are in you, and increase in you,
they will cause you to never be barren (inactive,
unemployed; lazy, useless: barren, idle, and slow.)
nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus
Christ.
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Do you want things to change? Think for a change!!
For if you lack these things you will be blind, and will
not be able to see what is planned, and will forget,
that you are cleansed from your old ways.
So make your calling and election sure: for if you do

these things, ye shall never fall.
Think!! It will change you forever!!
Here are some practical ideas regarding your

thinking
Focus on what you are thinking about.
Catch yourself thinking! Things that have been put

into your mind have been put in sometimes without
your permission.
I will prove it to you…
Whatever you do, do not think about a green cow!!!
What is the first thought you had right there? Was it

a green cow by any chance? You saw it right?
This exercise illustrates how you are being

bombarded everyday by advertising, marketing,
radio, television, people around you, books you read,
things you see, places you go, smells you smell.
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Everything has the potential to control you. Choose

to be in control of your thoughts.
What you think about, you will talk about, and what
you talk about will control you.
Matthew 12:34 says, ”You snakes---how can you say

good things when you are evil? For the mouth
speaks what the heart is full of.”
Matthew 12:37 says “Your words will be used to

judge you, to declare you either innocent or guilty."
Think about why you are feeling the way you are
feeling and 90 percent of the time it will be directly
related to the thought you had prior to the moment
you felt the feeling. The other 10 percent of the time
you may be ill, or unable to control the situation
which leads us to the next point.
Do what can be done regarding the thought.
Let us look at an example of this.

If you owe an amount of money to the bank and
cannot make your repayment, what could you do?
Well you have various options.
1) Borrow it from someone else.
By doing this however you will still be in debt to

someone and may loose a friendship if the person
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you loaned it from suddenly needs it and you cannot

pay it back.
2) Do nothing.
By doing this you will still have the problem and they
may come looking for you and foreclose on the
amount owed.
3) Call them or go see them.
By doing this they will see that you are not going to
run away and will be comfortable with giving you
more time or reducing the amount you will need to
pay.
Remember that communication is a specific response

to a specific input. If you give them information they
can use it to help you. If you don’t give them
information they will not be able to respond and your
worries may continue.
Thinking effectively will help you act effectively.
If nothing more can be done release the thought, it

should be held captive no more.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says we should cast down

imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself
against the knowledge of God, and bringing into
captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
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Matthew 6:27 asks “Which of you by taking thought

(being anxious about anything) can add one cubit
unto his stature?”
A focused thought is powerful.
Try for a second to think about what you are

thinking about.
Change your thoughts, your life has changed!!
When your head gets too big you stop learning.
It is not as important to think outside of the box as it

is to simply think.
TGIF is a thought that may make me feel great on a

Friday (Thank God it’s Friday), but it may limit me
from enjoying the other six days of the week, from
Saturday to Thursday.
Think it, and act on it and it will change your life.

This is true for the thoughts you think about as well
as the ones you do not think of.
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WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW?

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CHAPTER 6
WORDS
Everything we become and do

is done after saying we will.
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“Be careful of the words you say keep them short

and sweet, you’ll never know from day to day the
words you’ll have to eat.”
When we looked at communication I mentioned that

it is not what you say it has more to do with how you
say it.
This however is what you are able to do with words.
With words we can:
Utter a sound, make statements, express ourselves,

make speeches, remark, make declarations, praise,
sing, shout, motivate, break down, label, uplift,
soothe, romance, encourage, teach, insult, abuse,
love, hate, discourage and instruct
Words or the word “word” is mentioned over 700

times in the Bible.
When communicating, words only contribute to 7

percent of what it is that we are saying, so we best
make them count.
Matt 12:37 tells us that by our words we shall be

justified, and by our words we shall be condemned.
A man grabs a woman’s bag and runs off down the

road.
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After a brief chase the cops arrest him and inform

him that they need to take him down to the station
for an identification line up.
As they walk into the station the guy who grabbed

the bag spots the woman and pipes up, “Yeah, that’s
her, that’s the lady I grabbed the bag from!!”
Luke 20:20&26 says they watched Jesus, and sent

forth spies, which should disguise themselves just
men, that they might take hold of his words (logos),
that so that they might deliver him unto the power
and authority of the governor.
And they could not take hold of his words before the
people: and they marveled at his answer, and held
their peace.
Why did they not just arrest Him?
They could not.
He did miraculous things; He spoke with such

wisdom and made it His business to know His
business, even from the age of just twelve:
Luke 2:46-49 says “And it came to pass, that after

three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in
the midst of the doctors (or Teachers), both hearing
them(Truly Listening), and asking them questions.
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And all that heard him were astonished at his

understanding and answers.
And when they (Joseph and Mary) saw him, they

were amazed: and his mother said to Him,” Son, why
have you done this to us? Your father and I have
been so worried”
And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me?

Didn’t you know that I must be about (doing
eternally) my Father's business?
When Jesus spoke it was with ultimate authority.

Even those who desperately wished to destroy him
were unable to find fault with what he said.
He made it his business to let people know that he

knew what he was talking about.
Mark 14:55 tells us that the chief priests and all the
council sought for testimony against Jesus to put him
to death; and found none.
Jesus undoubtedly knew and understood Psalms

19:14 which was why they could not find anything to
arrest Him for, it says “Let the words of my mouth,
and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy
sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
Proverbs 15:23 instruct us on how to find joy. It says

that a man has joy by the answer he gives: and a
word spoken in due season, is good!
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Ecclesiastes 8:4 says, where the word of a king is,

there is power: and no one may say to him, “What
are you doing?”
Matthew 12:36 warns us that we shall give account

of every idle word that we speak in the Day of
Judgment.
What do you believe to be true about yourself?
You see your mouth is your future, you and I are

where we are today because of the words we spoke
yesterday, and the day before that and the day
before that…
You have never done anything without saying what

you are intending to do first.
There is a difference in saying: “I will not fail” vs.

“I will succeed in all I do”
Although on the surface they

seem to say the same thing,
one is doubt orientated WHAT DO YOU
compared to a more faith BELIEVE TO BE
orientated statement. TRUE ABOUT
YOURSELF?
Speak the positive; it changes
your life. Speak, as you would
empower another!! It changes theirs!!
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A man once congratulated his son who had just

become a dad. As he looked at his granddaughter he
said the following words to his son:
“Teach her as many of the 700 000 words of the

English language as is possible but make sure she
knows that:
The greatest word is God;

The longest word is Eternity;
The quickest word is Time;
The closest word is Now;
The worst word is Sin;
The deepest word is Soul;
And the dumbest word is Assume.
To say what needs to be said and to say no more is

enough.
Say no more.
Nothing else needs to be said.
If you go on, you may just lose their attention.
Mark Twain was attending a church meeting where a

missionary had been invited to speak.
He was deeply impressed. Later he related, “The

preacher’s voice was beautiful. He told about the
suffering of natives, and pleaded for help with such
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moving simplicity that I mentally doubled the 50

cents I had intended to put in the plate.”
“He described the pitiful misery of those savages so

vividly that the dollar I had in mind gradually rose to
five. Then the preacher continued, and I felt that all
the cash I carried on me would be insufficient and I
decided to write a large cheque.”
“Then he went on” said Twain.
“He went on and on and on and on about the

dreadful state of those natives, and I abandoned the
idea of the cheque. “
“And he went on. And I got back to five dollars.”
“And He went on, and I got back to four, two and

then one”
“And still he went on.”
“And when the plate came around . . . I took 10

cents out of it.”
Proverbs 6:2 tells us that we are ensnared (or

imprisoned) with the words of our mouth, and are
chosen with the words of our mouth.
Now that is good news, and bad news, depending on
the words we speak.
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We should always put our mind in to gear before we

hit the gas pedal with our tongues.
It happens so quickly and affects our life in such a

massive way. Remember to think before you speak.
Proverbs 10:19 warns us that where words are many

sin is not absent. But he who holds his tongue is
wise.
Proverbs 16:24 says that pleasant words are like a

honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and healing to the
bones.
What power is this that it will heal the bones?
Proverbs 29:20 warns us not to speak with haste.

For there is more hope for a fool than for someone
who speaks too quickly.
Take a deep breath. Think about it for a second (or

ten) and then say what needs to be said.
If it is True Useful and Good then you may say it,

otherwise don’t waste the precious breath that is in
you. It will only lead you to a place where you will
not want to be
My Words: who I say I am!!
Take time express who you want to be. Write it

down, say it out loud and say it often.
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You will become all you say.

Be it truth or lie.
With one you live with the other you die!!
WHO I AM:
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EMPOWERMENT WORDS FOR THOSE

AROUND ME
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CHAPTER 7
LABELS
I am __________
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Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things

are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever
things are just, whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are
of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be
any praise, think on these things.
Proverbs 23:7 says that as a man thinks so is he.
Becoming who we have become is not as important,

as becoming who we will become.
Every day we are faced with circumstances which

demand that we make a decision which in turn
determine what we will do, how we will act and in
turn who it is we ultimately become.
In every circumstance we are faced with questions

and we must act accordingly. The control lies within
us to decide what it is that we will do next and the
relevant action linked to the thought and decision,
determines the outcome which then simply leads to
the next circumstance, which asks yet another
question…
Since our thought determines our action consider the

following:
If we always think like we always thought, we will

always do what we have always done. If we always
do what we have always done, we will always get
what we have always got.
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The difference between the person who has nothing

and the person who has plenty is not a matter of
luck, knowledge, or understanding, but rather how
they react when faced with a circumstance.
Success in life is not determined by just learning

something new, it is determined by the application of
that knowledge.
How do we do this? How do I become that person?
We need to understand that we cannot consistently

act outside of how it is that we consistently think of
ourselves.
If you could stick a label on your forehead today that

spoke of who you are, because of how you acted
what would that label say?
In school did anyone ever stick a note on your back

that said “Kick me!!”
What did everyone do? Did they hug you or

encourage you or maybe motivate you or perhaps
defend you? They kicked you right?
If you enjoy arguing with people, they will always

see you as an arguer. Your ”label” will read “ARGUE
WITH ME”
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If you always tell jokes and make funny comments

and never act seriously your label may say “LAUGH
AT ME”
One day as I drove from Midrand to Johannesburg I

traveled along a road that had a traffic light that was
stuck on a flashing red light, which caused a back up
of about two kilometers. The traffic moved so slowly
until a guy two cars ahead of me in a 4X4 pulled
over to the side of the road, drove all the way to the
front of the queue and parked his car, got out
dressed in business clothes, walked into the middle
of the intersection and started to direct the traffic.
To my amazement everyone followed his direction

and drove when he directed and stopped when he
directed.
Philippians 4:8
He was not dressed in a traffic
Finally, brethren,
officer’s uniform nor did he have whatsoever things are
a badge which said “I am a traffic true, whatsoever
things are honest,
officer, so you better follow my
whatsoever things are
direction.” just, whatsoever
things are pure,
whatsoever things are
All he did was act with authority
lovely, whatsoever
and everyone listened. things are of good
Synonyms for the word virtue as report; if there be any
virtue, and if there be
mentioned in Phil 4:8 include the
any praise, think on
following words. these things.
Desirable quality, Asset, Good feature, Good value,

Good worth, High merit, High caliber, Decency,
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Kindness, Honesty, Integrity, Righteous and

Thoughtful.
If you had a label on your forehead with any of these

words on how would you need to act to be
consistent with that label?
Chani always says we should all act as though we

wear a label that says “Hand made in Heaven”
The woman with the issue of

blood decided that if she was She Matthew 9:21
said to herself, "If
able to get to Jesus and touch only I could touch his
the hem of His garment that cloak, I will get well."
she was going to be healed.
She wore her “Healed” label before she touched His
garment, but had to do something to ensure the
manifestation of what she believed to be true could
take place.
In 1 Peter 1:24 the Bible tells us that by His stripes

we were healed. So we can wear the “Healed” label.
If you are wearing your “I do not feel well” label

then don your “Obedient” label and get someone to
lay hands on you and soon you will be wearing your
“Recovered” label.
If we look at what happened to Peter after he

witnessed the great catch of fish, we will see a label
change from “Fisherman” to “Fisher of Men”.
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I am sure that as Jesus asked him to throw out his

nets after fishing all night he must have been saying
to himself, “Cant this guy read?… It clearly says
“Professional fisherman” I have done this all my life
surely I would know”
But Jesus wasn’t concerned about who Peter had

become, He was concerned about who he would
become.
Do you think it was easy for Peter to leave all he was

sure of and knew? Changing labels demands
stepping out in faith and not holding on to the past.
Faith versus Doubt, Life versus Death, Freedom

versus Bondage, Head versus Tail, Above versus
Beneath…
If you believe something is true about you then you

are correct. You see if you want to find out who you
are then open the Bible.
Who has the right to determine your label? Only you

do, you have the choice? Look into the mirror God
places before you by giving you His Word and you
will see who you are. But remember the more you
look, the more you will see.
Paradigms about ourselves are a result of thoughts

and words combined to form an opinion about
situations, people and ourselves.
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“You will never achieve anything in your life, you are

a lazy no good underachiever who has no back
bone… just like your father…” Believe those words
coming from your mother as an eight year old child
and you may believe it and become exactly that!!
Tell a child they are naughty, and that is what they

will become, as discussed earlier (in words), but tell
them they are good and that they should not act in a
naughty way and they will react differently.
Treat someone in a specific way and that is how he

or she will get to know you. That person will develop
a way of acting around you and will view you in a
specific way. Act outside of that frame work and it
will change their perception of and their actions
around you.
Take time to focus on who you are and why you are
who you are. Are there things you would like to
change? Change your paradigm about yourself.
Do you believe the Bible is true?
Do you want to know what the Bible says about you?
Say the following out loud and believe it is true

about you because this is how our Dad sees you,
wear this label and accept nothing more.
Do not let the devil lie to you any longer.
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I am God’s child 1 Peter 1:23

I am forgiven of all my sins Ephesians 1:7
I am a new creation 2 Corinthians 5:7
I am strong in the Lord Ephesians 6:10
I am Holy and blameless before Ephesians 1:4
Him
I am set free John 8:31-32
I am victorious Revelations 21:7
I am blessed Deut 28:1-4
I am loved with an everlasting Jeremiah 31:3
love
I am alive with Christ Ephesians 2:7
I am the light of the world Matthew 5:14
I am God’s workmanship Ephesians 2:10
I have all my needs met by God Philippians 4:19
I have the mind of Christ 1 Corinthians 2:16
I have Everlasting life John 6:47
I have life in abundance John 10:10
I can do all things through Christ Philippians 4:13
I have the peace of God Philippians 4:7
I always triumph in Christ 2 Corinthians 2:14
I am complete in Christ Colossians 2:10
I am the apple of my Fathers eye Psalm 17:8
God is everything and everything we need is in Christ
and He is in you and in your life, so you have all you
need in your life and lack no good thing, because He
speaks to you through His Word, and if you act in
accordance with His word you will have everything
He has.
A blank label appears on your forehead every day

and you determine how you will be seen and who
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you will be remembered as. Accept only labels which

are in line with God’s word.
Look into the mirror of God’s Word and learn about

yourself. Once you have seen who you are then do
not walk away with head knowledge only.
A heart full of faith is better than a head full of

knowledge.
If you act with the smallest amount of faith based on

God’s Word, it will bring more to fruition in your life
than what reading the whole Bible fifty times ever
could.
Our senior pastor gets us to get up every week

before the service begins and tells us to say the
following statement, “This is my Bible. I am what it
says I am. I can do all it says I can do. I am about to
receive the incorruptible, ever living seed of God’s
Word, my life is about to change and I will never,
ever be the same again”
Next time you read the Bible think about that

statement and understand that you will change if
you do what God’s Word says you should do.
When I support the Springboks in a rugby game

everyone knows who I am shouting for, because of
how I shout and who I shout for.
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We should have the same obvious message about

who we serve and why we serve and love Him.
See what His Word says about you, get your label on,
and act according to that which you believe to be true.
If you do not you will be living a lie and you will be

swimming with the blue bottles…
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I WANT TO BE SEEN LIKE THIS:

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CHAPTER 8
AIMING AT
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When we as beings, begin to define what it is that

we would like to achieve, we begin to get an idea of
what could be accomplished.
What could be accomplished, is not as important as

what it is that we ultimately achieve.
What we achieve, is not as important as who we

become by achieving what it is that we set out to
achieve.
Who we become enables us to expand what it is we

believe we are able to accomplish.
I love the questions that 1 Corinthians 9 asks us

regarding aiming for something.
Paul asks the Corinthians if they realised that they

were a result of his work. He asks if they thought it
was right for someone to plant a vineyard and not
eat of its grapes, or if they would tend a flock and
not drink of its milk? When a ploughman ploughs
and the thresher threshes, they should sow in the
hope, of sharing in the harvest.
He goes on to waiver his rights as a preacher but

says that he is entitled to them.
Verse 19 is so powerful he says that though he is

free and belongs to no man, he made himself a slave
to every one, to win as many as possible.
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When we have purpose and passion the best of life

will follow us.
He says in Verse 23 that he was doing what he was

doing for the sake of the gospel, so that he could
share in its blessing.
Was he aiming at something or just wandering

around, hoping for the best?
He was doing what he was doing for the sake of the

gospel!!!
Ocean drifting blue bottles are notoriously noted for

one thing and one thing only; they do not possess
great agility or incredible bursts of speed, but rather
their ability to administer an extremely powerful
sting. When enough blue bottles join together it is
called a man of war and will kill any living thing that
crosses its path.
There are many people in this world who are like the
blue bottle. They are tossed to and fro by the waves
of life’s circumstances, and sing a song that goes
something like this:
Que Sera’ Sera’

What ever will be will be
I’ll sting you on the knee
Que Sera’ Sera’
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They believe in such words as chance, providence,

luck, external circumstance, coincidence, fluke,
magic, and dance a dance called the twist of fate.
Well let me tell you that luck is for losers, magic is an

illusion and that coincidence happens by chance.
An example of this truth follows:
Every Wednesday and Saturday for six months

Heimie faithfully gets down on his hands and knees
and asks the Lord to help him to win the Lottery.
“Please Lord, Help”, he would beg.
One night as he prayed the Lord spoke and with a

loud booming voice thundered “HEIMIE!!!”
Heimie’s heart nearly stopped and he about died on

the spot, only to realise it was the Lord and
exclaimed in a loud voice “Lord, you have heard my
prayer!!”
To which the Lord replied, “Yes Heimie I have heard

your prayer… but I need you to meet me half way….
Could you go buy a ticket...?”
A funny story you may think, but one so full of truth.
You see if you don’t buy a ticket your chances of

winning are zero. But if you buy a ticket your
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chances of actually striking it rich, improve

substantially to around 1 in 33 million.
I don’t play the Lottery and I believe it is a waste of

time, effort and money. However, the principle of
having a ticket to increase the chances of winning is
a sound one.
Idle wishing becomes idle regret.
Jim Carey once said “There are no assurances in life,

so you may as well do what you passionately want to
do, because there is one guarantee… If you don’t,
you will have regrets.”
Ever heard someone say these words: “One day

when my ship come in, I will do this or that”
Well let me tell you something that may come as a

surprise to the people that say that. You will need to
be at the harbor and not at the airport!! You will
have to have sent a consignment out to expect
something on the ship.
Or else your ship will be like the Titanic and lie at the
bottom of the ocean, laden with treasure, and the
dreams of all it went down with.
I Corinthians 9:24 compares our life to a race and

gives us the following pointers:
In a race many run but only one gets the prize.
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This relates to ability and end results.
The ability that lies within you needs to be coupled

with faith, mixed with passion, proven by action and
endorsed by a sponsor. God fully endorses you.
Run in such a way, as to win the race.
This relates to attitude. If you don’t believe you can

do it when you start, why bother?
We need to follow a strict training program.
Practice makes habits. When we set out to achieve

something it always has an element of excitement
when we start, but starting is easy. To endure is the
key and to keep our eyes on the prize we will win is
crucial..
We need to get fit!
Many activities or habits are beneficial but hard to

do. Gym, quitting smoking, studying or even running
will become easier each time we do it.
The problem lies in the period shortly after we begin

the new exercise and we begin to feel the new
muscle or uncomfortable feeling related to the new
experience or sacrifice needed to achieve what we
desire.
Aim at something.
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The world’s most talented archer has the right

attitude, a high level of ability, is very knowledgeable
regarding the rules of his sport owns his own
equipment has a high level of fitness and could hit a
target 9 times out of 10.
If however you blindfold him and spin him around till

he is dizzy and ask him to hit the target what will he
hit?
His ability, attitude, fitness and everything else

within him, relating to his success, equates to zero if
he can’t see what he is aiming at.
Do not fight like a man beating the air.
Some people spend a life time aiming at nothing and

are frustrated at the end of it when they see they
have achieved what they aimed for – Nothing!!!
If a man purposes to fail and succeeds then what he

is?
A successful failure?
What is it that will enable you to reach the end

result, and win the prize?
The answer to this question is vision; it is the reason

behind a constant focused effort to achieve a set
specific target. It is the goal we set, or the end result
we accept by not setting one.
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No man can focus on a desired end result, plan

effectively, follow their faith with action and have
nothing challenging, exciting and exhilarating happen
to them. It is impossible.
If a venture or a race does not turn out favorably

does that mean we are not athletes any longer? Not
at all!!!
If we face trials of many kinds as James 1 tells us,

we should rejoice.
Rejoicing means we should display happiness, feel

joy inside, and delight in the moment.
Something is on the way!!
Do what you are doing with all you have because

that will take you to where you are going quickly;
just make a concerted effort to go towards the goal
Many people live their lives in Survival mode and

never experience success because of one simple little
step they never take, they simply do not set goals.
The progression lesson below shows what it will take

to go from survival to success.
Success will be different for you and I so do not limit

it to just one area of your being, but rather attempt
to bring balance into what you deem as success.
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Survival low morale,

just getting
by.
Success you achieve

certain goals
Satisfaction feel you

have achieved
Goals need to be done in a smarter way than before.

Goals need to be focused on an end result or the
means to an end result.
This means that goals will bring you the results and
resources in order to achieve what you want to
achieve.
Nothing great was ever achieved without a plan!
Proper planning prevents possible problems!
The most important thing about goals is to write

them down!!!
When we write it down we become accountable to it

as it becomes a target.
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We also allow others to see it and share in the

vision.
Habakkuk 2:2 which is important to individuals as

well as teams as discussed in the next chapter says
“Write the vision plan on tablets so that he may run
with it that reads it for the vision is yet for an
appointed time but at the end it shall speak and not
to lie though it tarries wait for it because it will surely
come and it will not tarry.
S - Specify the end result

M - Measure the accomplishment
A - Achieve what you aimed for
R - Realise it will take knowledge and wisdom
T - Time yourself
E - Evaluate your self
R - Reward yourself
The intention and Goal of this book was to help you

become who you would like to become. If I did not
write it down and take the time to get as much
useful information into it and it all just stayed in my
mind, would I be able to pass the vision I have been
given on?
Perhaps through a conversation, or a training day, or

one hour talk I may be able to impart some
information, but until someone responds to the
specific input, nothing has really happened.
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The same applies here. If you have read this far and
are still going, then take the knowledge you have
stored in your brain and go and do what you need to
do, to achieve what it is you would like to achieve,
and become the person that achieving that will make
you, so that you can set new benchmarks because of
who you have become by achieving what you will
have achieved.
Sound like a mouth full? Reread it and go and do it.
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10 THINGS I WOULD LOVE TO BE, DO, OR

HAVE, AND THAT I AM PREPARED TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT
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CHAPTER 9
TOGETHER WE
ACHIEVE MORE
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This life can be lived in different ways and will affect

everyone we come into contact with, either
negatively or positively.
This chapter focuses on the principle behind living

the life we live and how we can progress into what
ever area we choose, until we perhaps are a part of
changes that not only change us, but perhaps some
that change the world.
Survival, Success, and Satisfaction focus on you the

individual, while Significance and Synergetic
Significance focus on working with and having an
impact on others.
Read the affirmation about who you are in Chapter 7

again. Say them over your life and then go and act in
accordance with those beliefs, you and others will
not recognize you or the life you will be living.
The first way of living is Survival. Survival is a choice,

but it is related to the most common of choices: the
choice not to choose.
SURVIVAL
In the King James

Version of the Bible
the word survival is
not mentioned once.
In the Message it is
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mentioned 19 times and 18 of the 19 times in a

context where people are in fear of what God has
seen in their lives and have not repented from.
We were not created to simply Genesis 1:22

survive. We were created to be And God blessed
fruitful and multiply. In fact if we them, saying, Be
fruitful, and multiply,
look at Genesis 1:22 we will see and fill the waters in
that God even commanded the the seas, and let fowl
sea life and birds of the air to be multiply in the earth.
fruitful and multiply.
Every living thing God created has the potential to be

fruitful and to multiply.
95 percent of people live a life of survival. They wake

up; go to work and come home again to sit in front
of television and waste their lives away.
When you are in survival mode it may seem that

down looks as though it is up there. You are not
doing what you should be doing;
that which you were chosen to do. Proverbs 29:18
And you know, deep in side you, Where there is no
that you have so much more to vision, the people
perish: but he that
give, but sometimes simply don’t keeps the law,
give it. happy is he.
You lack passion for what you do and therefore do

not display the energy necessary to do what needs
to be done.
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If you are in Survival mode then seek to understand

the principles of success. The first of which is to have
a vision, a plan and a strategy to get where you
want to go.
Most people stay in survival mode because they
simply do not set goals linked to a vision, or do not
act with high levels of passion because of the beliefs
they have about themselves and what it is they
believe they can achieve.
If you want to change what you are experiencing in

life you will need to get focused on success. The only
way you can do this is by setting goals (see chapter
eight)
Success
Joshua 1:8 says, “This book of

the law shall not depart out of
your mouth but you shall
meditate there on day and
night that you may observe to
do all that is written therein
for then you shall make your
way prosperous and you shall
have good success.
The Bible is a wonderfully rich

book, filled with promises from
God, promises you and I can experience if we live a
life based on the success principles found therein.
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We must be living and praying in accordance with

His Word, and we will have anything we ask for.
Perhaps you have not yet accepted it to be the voice

of God. If not then look into its pages to hear what
He has for you and for me.
Habakkuk 2:2 tells us to write the vision down. Go

and write it down!!
Isaiah 49:16 says God wrote us on Isaiah 49:16

the palms of His hands. Behold, I have
graven thee upon
the palms of my
Understand that when God created hands; thy walls
you he used this principle and holds are continually
before me.
it close to his heart.
To get out of survival mode and into success mode

we need to have a success mentality.
God has a success mentality. He created you. You

were created in His image. But before you were
created He had a vision of you. He knew that vision
and what it consisted of and how He desired success
and blessings just for you.
Success is about becoming better than we are now.
Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I shaped you in the

womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the
light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to
the nations- that's what I had in mind for you."
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God planned you!! To know includes to properly

ascertain by seeing. Knowing includes observation,
care, recognition designation, acquaintance,
appointing, assuredly, be aware of, comprehend,
consider, declare, discern, discover, be familiar with
as one would be with a friend.
The Bible is the ultimate book of success and

teaches this principle clearly on how to achieve
goals. When I ask people to explain and describe
success mode to me in training sessions the majority
of people say “Success is all about achieving goals”
I then go on to ask them whether or not they have

set goals for themselves. The answer 95 percent of
the time is a resounding no!!!
You see just because you know something does not

necessarily mean that you will do it.
If success is about being the right person all the time

then a plan focused on a clear and concise outcome
will assist one to continuously be that person. If you
look in a mirror what do you see? I am sure you will
see yourself?
If you have a continuous reminder with you every

day, that you are able to look at and focus on, you
will notice that achieving that becomes a lot easier.
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Please note that I am not prescribing methodology

as to casting your vision or setting a goal. Simply
write it down from your heart. Whether it takes 10
minutes or 10 hours to do is totally up to you.
If however, you choose not to have a list or a dream
or an end results in mind, that you will become easily
distracted. If you aim at nothing what will you hit?
Nothing!!
So don’t be amazed or surprised when nothing

happens if you have no clear action and goal
orientated plan.
If you go shopping with no clear purpose, and have

a lot of money to spend you may end up wasting so
much of your hard earned money on something you
do not really need.
But if you have been saving for a long time for

something that is important to you that you
identified, budgeted for, and had an inner desire to
gain, the reward will seem much greater.
If just one person moved to the level of Significance

and taught 3 other people the principles of their
success for a whole year and those three taught
another 3 for a whole year , and the cycle
perpetuated itself for just 7 years, the end result
would be that 2188 people would be aware of and
hopefully living success principles. That is a powerful
thought.
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If you are not yet convinced that this works then

simply carry on doing what you have always done
and you will continue to manifest that which has
always manifested.
Jeremiah 29:11
I alone know the plans I
With a vision comes hope.
have for you, plans to
God’s plan is to bring you bring you prosperity and
prosperity and the future you not disaster, plans to
bring about the future you
hope for. hope for.
What future are you hoping

for?
Satisfaction
Proverbs 13:25
tells us that the
righteous eats to
the satisfying of
his soul: but the
belly of the wicked
shall want.
If we do what God’s Word tells us to do we will truly

live a life of satisfaction. But if we ignore His voice as
He speaks to us we will never be satisfied.
We should not be unsatisfied with our lives because

our circumstance becomes difficult. We should be
unsatisfied when we stop growing and learning.
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Frustration is caused by the inability to act when

faced with trying circumstances. In order to progress
we must tap into new and effective ideas. The only
way to do this is through trial and error and other
peoples experience.
Read the Word and learn from others who have

walked this earth before us.
Read success books and apply the principles you

discover.
Listen to personal development CD’s or tapes with a

principle based teaching daily or weekly to expand
your knowledge.
In Isaiah 58:11 the Bible says that the Lord shall

guide you continually and satisfy your soul in
drought and make fat your bones and you shall be
like a watered garden and like a spring of water
whose waters fail not.
A life of satisfaction involves having achieved your

goals on an ongoing basis and thereby affecting the
quality of life you experience. There are certain
dangers with satisfaction. If one does not
continuously return to a life of success one would
easily slip back into a life of survival.
God’s Word is the success guide of all success

guides. His principles are true and He offers us a
choice to control ourselves in accordance with His
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Word. We need to stay in it and live according to it

and not compromising to the world’s ways.
Proverbs 5:22 &23 says Sinners are trapped and

caught by their own evil deeds. They get lost and die
because of their foolishness and lack of self-control.
Can we be satisfied even when things are going

wrong?
Absolutely!
When Job’s friends were trying to convince him that

he was fighting a losing battle as he sat in the ash
they asked him this question in the second part of
Job 18:4 “Will God move mountains to satisfy you?”
The answer was given clearly by Jesus in Matthew

21:21 Jesus answered, "I assure you that if you
believe and do not doubt, you will be able to do what
I have done to this fig tree. And not only this, but
you will even be able to say to this hill, 'Get up and
throw yourself in the sea,' and it will.” If we have
faith in our God and His Word He will truly satisfy our
souls.
A satisfied soul is important to nourish. One way to

ensure a life of satisfaction is not by hoarding and
being selfish with what we have but rather by giving.
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Isaiah 58:10 &11 says if you give food to the hungry

and satisfy those who are in need, then the darkness
around you will turn to the brightness of noon.
And God will always guide you and satisfy you with
good things. He will keep you strong and well. You
will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a
spring of water that never goes dry.
If we want true satisfaction we must submit our will

to God’s will. Matthew 6:33 says But seek ye first the
kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these
things shall be added unto you.
Significance
A life of significance
can only be achieved
when one involves
other people.
1 Corinthians 12:19
in the Message Bible
compares the role we
play as a part of a body. We need to be in the body,
as any body part on its own would not function
correctly and would die. It says, “But I also want you
to think about how this keeps your significance from
getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter
how significant you are, it is only because of what
you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic
hand wouldn't be a body, but a monster.(MSG)
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It is not difficult to achieve significance but the end

result will be hugely affected by the power of the
vision of the person who has it.
When we think of people who have affected history
we see this principle in practice we think of, Princess
Diana, Adolf Hitler and of course Madiba as
examples.
Adolf Hitler you may ask? Was he really significant?

Of course he was. Why was his impact so powerful?
He wrote a book called Mein Kampf which outlined
his philosophy behind life and was able to rally
enough willing people to affect and alter the lives of
millions, even to this day.
To become significant one needs the ability to be

able to lead, influence and serve those that you
come into contact with on a daily basis.
Jesus began with twelve and so significantly

impacted their lives with His teaching, love,
compassion and servant leadership that once He
returned and gave them instruction to go into the
entire world and make disciples of all men, and then
they began that which we continue today.
Synergetic
Significance
In Ecclesiastes 4:9 the

Bible tells us that two
are better than one.
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(Chani says especially if its chocolates)
In Ecclesiastes 4:11 it says that if 2 lie down

together then they have heat but how can one be
warm alone?
Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 12
In Ecclesiastes 4:12 Two are better than one; because
they have a good reward for their
the Bible tells us that if
labor.
one prevail against
him, two shall For if they fall, the one will lift up
his fellow, but woe to him that is
withstand him and a
alone when he falls; for he has not
threefold chord is not another to help him up.
quickly broken.
Again, if two lie together, then they
have heat but how can one be
If one sets 1,000 to warm alone?
flight two shall set
And if one prevails against him, two
10,000 to flight. What shall withstand him; and a threefold
about three, or four? cord is not quickly broken.
Matthew 18:20 says

“And when two or three of you are together because
of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."
Many corporate companies have spoken around

synergy and its effects, but unfortunately have never
explained the principle of it to people effectively.
We have heard that the sum of the whole is greater

than the parts thereof. Ok, but what does that mean.
And why should that worry me. I’m just a tiny part of
this business or this church or this world, how can I
make a difference
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To work towards a goal together with other people

creates what is known as an alliance. If everybody
has the same end result in mind, synergetic
significance occurs.
The best example I can use is the impact three

people could have on a township. If one person
worked alone and wanted to make sure that the
people of the township had food to eat and a place
to stay, that would be a worthwhile goal.
If another person worked alone and wanted to make

sure that the people of that same township had
effective life skills training, and that they were
developed with a future in mind, and that more than
just their immediate needs were taken care of that
too would also be a worthwhile goal.
If yet another person worked alone and determined

to have an impact by providing football and cricket
coaching this too would be a worthwhile goal.
But what should happen if all three decide to work

together with the other two? And instead of working
separately they decided to have the impact together.
If I worked with you it would be me and my vision
and you and your vision. The targeted people and
end result would stay the same and once you shared
your vision with me, I would be able to see if there
were any ways my vision could support your vision,
and any ways your vision could support mine.
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The formula for synergy becomes exponential as

more parties join a venture with a clear
understanding of the desired end result.
In the world of unity one plus one equals three and

one plus one plus one equals seven.
Can a group of people create negative synergy?
Absolutely!!
If many people work for the same organization, or

on the same project, and none of them have a clear
understanding of what it is that they are aiming for,
then the overall impact of all the people working
together will be felt by those who are experiencing
the service offered by that group of people.
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Too many people do what they do for the sake of

money and not for what it is that they can
contribute.
They live in a place of survival where success is but a

breath away. They feel they have too much month
left at the end of their money, and that the world
owes them something.
To be a part of a vision with clear end results is a

worthwhile reason to do what one does, but to sell
ones soul and time for money and nothing more is a
waste of a life. Your life!!!
If you’re involved in a group activity ensure the

vision is clear in your mind and in the minds of all
those linked to the vision. It will make the experience
a lot more fun, worthwhile and will affect the
outcome dramatically.
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This is the progression lesson which illustrates the

five levels of living as discussed in this chapter.
Survival Low morale, just

getting by.
Success You achieve certain

goals
Satisfaction You feel you have

achieved.
Significance You are a

visionary, others
are also affected
Synergetic Two or more

Significance people create
exponential
energy: You feel it
Use this everywhere: at home, at work, at church, at

a party, anywhere!!! This has an impact on all who
experience it. Get involved and look for opportunity.
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WHO DO I NEED TO WORK WITH, AND WHY?

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160
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CHAPTER 10
YOU CHOOSE NOW
OR DON’T………
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It is now time to choose. What will you do

with what it is you now know?
You must remember that you are always with

yourself and that you influence you more than in any
other person on the face of this planet.
Through the Word of God you will see a

reflection of who you really are.
That reflection however can only be seen if one

looks. You’ll never see it unless you pick up your
Bible and begin to read about who you really are.
This book has been written to make you realize that

you have the power to recreate your perception of
yourself, by first understanding that you are not a
product of your circumstance or past experiences,
but rather the handy work of a God who created you
to be more than you ever imagined yourself to be.
Nobody else has control of your life. The

decision however to take control is yours and it lies
in this moment here!
You affect others, so realize that.
You need to learn to communicate

remembering that communication is a specific
response to a specific input and unless you are
always aware of what the input really is, you will
never get the desired response.
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It is not what you say that is really important;

although saying the right things does help; it
is more important how you say it!!!
Learn to listen because it is within the

listening that you will learn. A good listener is a
good communicator. A man who can learn to listen
and respond well to others and shows interest in
their lives is a man who others will respect.
You may be in a circumstance, but you’re not a

creature of that circumstance. We’re in this world but
not of it.
One aspect of your life that you will always be

in control of is your attitude. No one else can
choose that for you. It lies within a decision that you
make when faced with various situations and
circumstances.
You need to choose to choose. For by not

choosing you have made a choice.
You need to realize that everything you do is your
choice, including lazing around doing nothing for
weeks on end.
No one can make you angry or control you

unless you give them that authority.
Remember to tell the truth no matter what. If

we live in the truth we truly live, but if we live in a lie
we will soon die.
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Make a decision in this moment, because the

past cannot be revisited, it is gone forever and the
future is unreachable. What you do in this moment
will directly influence your past and your future.
Ask yourself if you can do anything about it. If you

can do something, then do it now, if not; then
release it, it needs to be held captive no more.
Choose to truly live, do not merely exists. Think

about it and then do it.
Use your ability because ability attracts ability,

the more you do what you know, the more you’ll
know what to do.
To improve we need to practice excellence, and

sound principles, all the time remembering that
practice makes habits.
Now is the most powerful moment, here is the best

place to be, no matter where you are. The decision
that you made, put you in that place. The decision
that you make next, in fact right now, will determine
what you experience next.
So live now!!!
Live consciously, you have one life, there are no

second chances you don’t get to insert another coin
and hit the player one button it doesn’t work like
that, game over means game over!!
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What one starts with passion will result in

frustration or in growth.
How one endures during times of frustration

will determine the failure or realization of
success.
Get purpose get passion, for when you do; the

best of life will follow.
Don’t accept labels from others!!! Only the Word

of God should be considered a benchmark. Look
deep into the reflection of who you have been
created to be. Choose to become the person that the
Bible says you are. This book or any like it can never
do that. Only the principles found in God’s Word
heard again and again and applied in your life could
help you discover a life worth living
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TODAY I CHOOSE TO BE AMAZING IN THE

FOLLOWING WAYS
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ABOUT
THE
AUTHOR
Nick van Tonder
was born in
Kensington,
Gauteng in
1972, his
extrovert personality and
welcoming smile have resulted in friendships and
relationships internationally with people from
various walks of life.
Nick is an inspired guitarist, magician, child

entertainer, fisherman, dedicated husband and
loving father of four. He and his family currently
live in Meyerton, Gauteng, South Africa.
Nick dedicates his time to teaching people to

achieve significance in every area of their lives;
he lives out and teaches sound principles found
in God’s Word.
To date he has lectured nationally and motivated

various delegates at IBM, Dimension Data,
Telkom Directory Services, MTN, Multichoice, Old
168
A LIFE WORTH LIVING
Mutual, First Rand Bank, Nedbank LTD, The

South African Parliament and many others.
Nick volunteers and partners various non-profit
organisations such as Eco-access, The World
Burn Foundation and The CANSA association of
South Africa.
Nick is committed to making a difference; He is

passionate about life and believes that all things
should be done with purpose to achieve an end
result.
The author can be

contacted at:
0825755009 or
+27-16-362 0460
nickvt@mweb.co.za
nick@kwadonata.co.za
PO Box 990392,
Kibler Park
2053
South Africa
GO AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!
169
A LIFE WORTH LIVING
DISCOVER THE POWER

OF GOD-CENTRED
THINKING
“Do you ever wonder why

some people keep getting
what they want out of life,
and others don't?
What is the difference between those who reach

their goals and those locked in survival mode?
In "A Life worth Living” we find ways of behaving

and responding to situations that will help bring
success to our lives.”
Pastor Anthony Cassell – Senior Pastor

Rhema South Family Church
“A Life worth Living” is an easy to read book. Follow

the simple suggestions, meditate on the points raised
and you will take control of your own destiny.”
Rob Filmer – Director Eco-Access
170

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Discovering God given power within the simple things…

Nick van Tonder

THIS BOOK IS A GIFT TO

For additional copies of this publication, please

Tel: +27 16-362 0460 or 0860 LETSGO.

The information in this publication may not be

All photographs by Nick van Tonder and Chantelle van

NICK VAN TONDER

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 160

This book is dedicated to my wife and best friend;

Thank you for living this book with me. It is my

Zoë, Teagan, Kyle and Kristen, I wish that I knew

Pastor Dave Goosen, your gift has inspired me, thank

Thank you God for giving us all a way to live a life

He is always reading, learning and putting the

It is a special privilege speaking to him on the

Nick is a life empowerment specialist and without

He will teach you that life is a special gift to be used

Motivation and inspiration are things we all need all

We live in a high paced world. It is a world where we

But, how do we achieve these and what tools do we

“A Life Worth Living” is an easy to read book. Follow

Rob Filmer – Director Eco-Access

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the

Man was then expelled from Eden

This life is given to us by Jesus, who - as a man -

Because of this one world-overcoming man we have

Welcome to A Life Worth Living, a book all about

Share the lessons you learn and allow yourself to

Take time to reflect upon the past, plan for the

Thank you for the opportunity to be a catalyst in part

It goes on to say that we will know the truth, and

He has given us the ability to become anything we

Colossians 1:26 says that the

Research shows that if a person applies only one

There is a saying that goes “It’s Proverbs 8:22,23

In Proverbs 8:22,23 God’s Word tells us that before

Many people ask if there is life after death. More

Isaiah 57:15 tells us that God lives in Eternity.

Isaiah 40:8 says His Word endures forever. God is

The principles found in the Bible are therefore

Consider this: When you read the previous

Read the following sentence slowly and understand

All you have is NOW!!

And that too is past; as is the moment you read the

And no; you are not in the future as you may

Eternity is described as Paradise, a better place,

durability, endless time, everlasting, eternal home,

When we live in eternity we live in God’s time, and

God’s Word is perfect, and all His ways are just.

His Word says that we must not be conformed to the

Then we will be able to test and approve what God’s

Doesn’t God’s Word excite you, as it is revealed and

Scientists have proven that Man has approximately

I am sure that as you read and discover God’s Word,

are often the things we have created because of the

The Word states that if my God is for me, then who

In Philippians 4:13 God’s Word says “I can do all

It clearly states in Matthew 19:26 that with God all

In Hebrews 12:2 the Bible says that we must look to

In 1 John 5:4 His Word says he who has faith and

2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us that we walk by faith – the

What an incredible message for you to start living

I desire to reveal the root of the fruit. For every fruit

I desire to share the truth about who you can