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MFO 51 Toilet Paper E-4 MAFIA

28 JUNE 2008 VOLUME 1, ISSUE 6

BREAKING NEWS SPECIAL EDITION


Breaking News: Dateline: South Camp, MFO 26June2008

Members of the Pentagon Staff, in response to the outrageous


(really outrageous) attack on Sergeant Burrows (A Troop) by
the now deceased “Petey”, have developed and deployed a
new countermeasure in the fight against aquatic threats at
Herb’s Beach. The SRS system now in place will protect our
soldiers during all phases of Water Survival Training. This
new, highly sophisticated system will make water sports safer
and more enjoyable for all. Fast, simple deployment of the
system pictured to the right will allow our lifeguards to accu-
rately detect any predatory creature well before it attacks. The
lifeguards simply place the bait in the center of the ring and
when it goes missing, they sound the alarm to clear the water.
“Many of our soldiers here will benefit from this new advance
in technology,” says a high ranking member of the MFO staff.
According to the Lifeguard Staff, “The SRS will remain in
place near the 4th bouy, in order to ensure the safety of our
soldiers.” When asked if there was any concrete data that
SRS (Shark Repellent System) with activated bait!!
proved the system’s effectiveness, a Cavalry First Sergeant
stated, “Who cares? It works, or it doesn’t. Either way, it gets
a lot more peaceful around here.” SINAI TROOPER COMBAT GOLF
Further tests will be conducted by activating the system at July 3rd, 2008 Shotgun Start at 1300hrs
night and by adding large buckets of chum to the immediate Contact: SPC Harvey Scribner
area around the system.
Email: hescribner@gmail.com

Papal Blessing for MFO Toilet Paper Newsletter Policies for Submission:
All material is to be submitted to the publisher no
In a highly unusual dis- that in mind, we are later than 24 hours before printing. This medium
play of cooperation and pleased to announce that was designed for fun only. Any descriptions of
advocacy, the Pope has the planning stages of events or news presented is fake and does not re-
read and given his official passing this forum on to flect the views or orders of the official people run-
blessing too the MFO Toi- MFO 52 have already ning our camp. Any similarity to actual events and
let Paper. Under this people is purely coincidental and shall not be in-
started. There is also talk
blessing he stated that terpreted as truth. We accept submissions for
VD “I’ve heard some terrible, of a line of breakfast cere-
als, over-the-counter nutri- content from anyone on camp, preferably E-4 or
vicious rumors lately that
tional supplements, action- below. Submissions are accepted on a first come-
the award-winning staff of
Don’t Give The Gift figures, and limited edition first served basis and there is no guarantee of pub-
the Toilet Paper is consid-
ering calling it quits. I belly button lint collectors. lication. All submissions become the sole property
That Goes On of the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE: There was some
hope this isn’t true. You We here at the Toilet Pa-
Giving!! have been a huge boost to per hope to also start a line difficulty with the previous MSN Email. Please
(USBATT) morale since of deodorants and hair resend all articles for submission to the new email
Special Report in the the first issue.” We here address. They will make the next issue. This
July Issue of the care products that are wor-
at the TP would like to news medium accepts submissions from
(Swimsuit Edition) thy of our good name.
thank the Pope for his gen-
erous support and words Thank you for all of your
MFOToiletPaper!! support during MFO 51! ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!
of encouragement. With

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