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Thursday 11 September 2003

Published by the USSU Communications Office issue number 1059 free

www.ussu.co.uk

THE UNIVERSITY
Music Editor Matt Badcock heads to Glastonbury Festival, whilst Andrew Malek gives us a taste of the action at Reading 2003.
Festivals | pages 18 & 19

OF

SURREY STUDENTS’ NEWSPAPER
I N T H I S W E E K ’ S PA P E R

FESTIVAL FEVER

Sarah Butterworth and Amelia Lefroy introduce the wonders of student media at the University of Surrey Students’ Union.. Communications | page 8

COMMUNICATE

CHALLENGE CHOPS | this week the new VP Sports tries out gliding. | page 24 INTERACTIVE | it’s back, with loads of new things to distract you! | page 20 BULLETIN BOARD? | Neil Christie tells us of the wonders of the USSU BB | page 9

Lights. Camera. Reaction.
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH EDITOR IN CHIEF THIS SUMMER HAS seen some significant successes for the ‘Lights Camera Action’ campaign being run jointly by barefacts and the University of Surrey Students’ Union. As detailed in many of last year’s barefacts, several incidents in the underpasses surrounding campus prompted students to call for better lighting, security cameras and other safety measures to be implemented. After a series of correspondence between the Union, University and local council, the ball has started rolling with the furthest and longest underpass on the journey from campus to Tesco’s being painted a bright yellow, and new strip lights being installed in the roof of the tunnel. This is a stark contrast to the dingy, graffiti-covered walls of a few months ago, and a positive step to show the council really are taking notice of students’ concerns. However, this is only the start, and the Students’ Union must keep up the pressure to ensure that this issue is not forgotten about. As yet there have been no security cameras installed at either of the Tesco’s underpasses, nor the more worrying Southway one. During a meeting with Tony Watling from University Security and members of the local police force, the Sabbatical Officers of USSU expressed their concern that the South Way underpass was being overlooked, and that although the painting and light installation was a positive start, there is still a significant way to go until students can feel safe on their journeys to and from campus. Details of the ongoing campaign, and new aims will be in the next issue of barefacts.

unpainted as yet: the Southway Underpass

photograph by chris hunter

Guildford Students: Better off on Benefits
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH EDITOR IN CHIEF SHOCKING NEW FIGURES from the South East Area of NUS (SEANUS) show that thousands of students in Surrey are being forced to survive below the poverty line. These figures, released on 27th August 2003 show that many students are forced to live on around £25 a week, compared to £42.70 for the Jobseekers allowance. Commenting on the new figures SEANUS Area Convenor Jamie Day said “SEANUS is appalled that a government who claims its number one priority is education is forcing thousands of young people in the South East to live below the minimum threshold that it believes a single person can live on. After paying expensive South East rents our members are expected to live on £25 per week - far less than they would get on the dole. It is incredible that in the 21st century students are being treated as second-class citizens - they would be better off on benefits.” With the Government’s widening participation initiatives of recent years yielding successes in many parts of the country, in the South East it is seen to be failing as they refuse to acknowledge the high cost of living. These costs quickly spread to local communities, pricing both students and local residents out of their own homes. Financial barriers are a principal reason for students dropping out of University in the South East, and prevents many even applying due to the prospect of colossal debt from the high rents and other costs. Guildford in particular is seen as the most expensive town to live in in the South East region. It is estimated that Surrey students have an average annual income of around £3,400, and outgoings in excess of £8,500, leaving a shortfall of over £5,000 per student, every year. Figures for London and the rest of the country are around the mid £4,500s, and the average figure for the South East does not top £5,000, meaning the Guildford students are the poorest students in the UK. At present, the only solution can be to introduce a weighting for South East students similar to that in London, where students receive several hundred pounds extra on their student loan each term compared to students studying elsewhere in the country. SEANUS are campaigning tirelessly to ensure the government take some action on this issue.

letters to barefacts | page 3

Try your hand at the BF Pub Quiz | page 20

trivial pursuits | page 22

2

NEWS

11 September 2003

EDITORIAL TEAM 2003-4
Editor in Chief
Sarah Butterworth comms @ussu.co.uk

Visa Charges hit Surrey Students
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH EDITOR IN CHIEF THE HOME OFFICE announced on this summer that from 1st August 2003 it would begin to charge foreign nationals in the UK for visa renewal and settlement applications. These charges are now applied whether or not the application is successful. Postal applications £155, with what the Home Office term as a premium same-day service costing £250. The reasons given by the Home Office for the introduction of charging are that it is “unfair” for the UK taxpayer to pay for this service, it will save the Home Office £90m, and allow them to provide “a better service”. NUS and USSU are deeply opposed to the introduction of charging as a further financial burden on international students, who already pay high tuition fees in order to study in the UK in the first place. Verity Coyle, the Vice President Welfare for NUS says: “The Department for Education and Skills promotes student mobility and positively encourages international students to study in the UK. NUS believes this is directly contradicted by the Home Office’s plans to charge for visa extensions. The UK has prided itself in attracting international students, and the great work undertaken by the sector as a whole could be completely undone by this proposal.” This change will hit University of Surrey students particularly hard, with the proportion of international students studying at undergraduate and postgraduate level at almost 40% of the student population. At the University of Surrey we offer a ‘fasttrack’ scheme for student visa extensions which means the University does the bulk of the preparation. It is therefore difficult to understand such a high charge by the Home Office for applications submitted through this scheme. It will also present a problem for students who wish to stay in the UK for a period after ending their course to attend their graduation ceremony. In this circumstance they would be expected to pay an additional £155, even for a stay of a few weeks. The President of the Students’ Union, Pete Tivers, has been in contact with Guildford’s local MP, Sue Doughty, and urges anyone who feels strongly about this situation to do the same. For more information on these changes, visit www.nusonline.co.uk or speak to Pete in the Students’ Union Activities Centre.

Editor
Chris Ward cs21cw @surrey.ac.uk

Music Editor
Matt Badcock ms01mb @surrey.ac.uk

Music Editor
Jon Allen bs21ja @surrey.ac.uk

News Editor
Phil Howard ph02ph @surrey.ac.uk

Film Editor
Neil Boulton cs21nb @surrey.ac.uk

Mysterious markings appear round campus
BY CHRIS WARD EDITOR OVER THE PAST few days, chalk markings that seem to be related to The Omen films have appeared on pavements all over campus. The messages range from simply “The Omen”, to “You don’t get the point” or simply just “O”. Of course, these messages may have more than just a total randomness of choice. The Omen, which depicted the birth of the anti-Christ and the havoc he wreaked upon those around him, had many crucial scenes filmed in and around Guildford Cathedral. The final culmination of the film, where Damien’s (the anti-Christ) biological father attempts to kill him, was shot inside the cathedral on the altar. If anybody has any light to shed on this mystery… you know the number… barefacts@ussu.co.uk

Theatre Editor
Daisy Clay ps21dc @surrey.ac.uk

Literature Editor
Jennifer Walker ph21jw @surrey.ac.uk Photography Editor | position vacant Sports Editor | position vacant

UniS Students up for National Awards
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH EDITOR IN CHIEF KERRY MEXSON (PICTURED above), a microbiology student who graduated this year and spent her professional year at Leatherhead Food International has received a Highly Commended award after being nominated by LFI for the Oxoid Technician of the Year. The company commented that “It became apparent at once that Kerry was an exceptional student. She immediately understood both the scientific side of the business and, more importantly, how that science fitted into the operations and commercial side of the company.” Congratulations also go to to four UniS students who have been shortlisted for the prestigious Science, Engineering and Technology Student of the Year awards. Michael Gibbons and Charlotte Jones of the School of Engineering have both been shortlisted in Mechanical Engineering and Materials Engineering, and Christopher Osborne and Simon Walker, both from the Physics Department have made it into the final round of the Best Physics Students. The awards, organised by the World Leadership Forum, are sponsored by a range of companies and institutes including QinetiQ, Lloyd’s and BOC, and are widely regarded within the scientific community as the ‘Oscars’ of UK science and technology education. The winners in their respective categories - and the overall prize of Student of the Year 2003 - will be announced at a gala dinner in September, to be held at London’s Guildhall.

CONTRIBUTORS
Ben Berryman Andy Blair Chris Bradshaw Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman Neil Christie Anthony ‘Deano’ Dean Scott Farmer Chris Hunter Claire Iles Zoe Kilb Catherine Lee Amelia lefroy Carol Main Andrew Malek Katy Saunders Pete Tivers

11 September 2003

NEWS

3

Essex VC: Students Can Afford Top-Up Fees
BY CHRIS WARD PROFESSOR IVOR CREWE, the Vice Chancellor of Essex University, expressed his views on student debt yesterday in an interview with the Independent: ‘A graduate who starts off at £18,000 a year in London will be paying back £5.30 a week - which is a couple of pints of beer. Now, most students could afford a couple of pints of beer when they were students, so they can afford to pay back a couple of pints after graduating.’ The comment has been blasted as “crude” by the NUS on their campaign sub-site stopfeesnow.com; they have also calculated that with the £5.30 a week repayments, students can expect to be free of debt by the time they are 97 years old. Crewe’s statement coincides with the recent campaign launched by Charles Clarke to promote the backing of £3000 a year top-up fee plans. He recently told the Association of Commonwealth Universities that due to the vast numbers of people entering higher education, it is no longer feasible for the public to fund it. Justifying his decision to back the proposals, Clarke pointed out that our planned fees were measly compared to those paid by US students. The Conservatives, however, have pledged to abolish all tuition fees if elected to government in the next general election. If implemented, the top-up fees will replace the current up-front £1,100 a year, and will be repaid after gradation in the same way as the student loans, dependent on income. This year is the last chance for the NUS and students around the country to get their voices heard nationally. The annual NUS National Demonstration again fees is taking place in central London on Sunday 26th October 2003. The University of Surrey Students’ Union will be organising coaches to take students to the demonstration, so book the date in your diary. For more details, see stopfeesnow.com.

a pint of beer: comparable to top up fees?

Letters to barefacts
Letters must be received by 5pm on the Monday before publication to guarantee their presence in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity | barefacts@ussu.co.uk

Dear barefacts, I am becoming increasingly disturbed by one of the facilities on our beloved campus. I am now convinced that it may, in fact, be the worst example of its kind in the country. A number of years ago, it was acceptable. For the last year or so, it has fallen below the absolute minimum standard. I believe it is a fair standard to set, considering such items are a pre-requisite for the use of such a service. In my somewhat long winded, riddled manner, I’m talking about our post office and the sad sad fact that it doesn’t sell envelopes. As already eluded to, an envelope (or some other form of container for your mail) is essential in order to be in a position to have your mail weighed and the correct postage assigned. So the fact that the campus post office does not sell envelopes means that they are in fact over-payed, over hyped stamp vending. If I were let’s say running a burger van, I wouldn’t expect a customer to provide a container for their food. How can they get away with calling it a post office when all it does is sell stamps? The only difference between the stamp vending machines on the wall of the post office and the post office itself is you get your stamp handed to you by a person. Admittedly you can have your mail weighed so you are sure that you have paid the correct postage, but this hardly accounts for enough to call it a post office. You could replace it with a set of scales, a weights & costs reference table and the already-there stamp vending machines. On the rare occasion that I have gone to the post office and mistakenly believed that they would be able to offer me a lowly envelope (having forgotten the same situation a number of months previously), they have informed that although they do not sell envelopes, the shop does. Again this strikes me as an appalling attitude to hold on the matter. Returning to example of a burger van, if a customer wanted some tomato sauce, I wouldn’t expect to get away with saying “oh I don’t have any but that shop over there does so you’re ok.” I realise this is not an area of your responsibility, but I would urge you to consider giving it the time and consideration such a serious matter deserves. I’m sure it is an issue which affects many students. Name and address supplied.

Dear barefacts, Over the summer, I was a resident at Surrey Court before moving into my student house. One morning as I woke up for work (rather rushed, I slept in) I smelt burning when I stepped outside my room into the corridor. Although I couldn’t quite work out where it was coming from, I thought it appropriate to notify University Security, so I dialled 3333 to speak to them. When the phone was answered, I was unsure of whether I was supposed to call them or the fire brigade, so I mentioned that I wasn’t sure if I had called the right number. They replied with a rather arrogant tone “Well, is it an emergency?”. I then mentioned that I smelt burning on my floor, and the person on the other end of the line then said “Well, yes, that could be construed as an emergency” in an overly sarcastic tone. I wish to make the University aware that my room and the belongings were insured, and notifying security when I was already late for work was purely out of consideration for the University property. However, if I am to be greeted with such arrogance and rudeness, I do not see why I should bother wasting my time. After this incident, my respect for the security has dwindled, and I will not be calling them again to notify them of anything similar. I also do not understand how the University wish to maintain a proper relationship with the students if their staff have such attitudes towards them, and I suggest they seriously rethink the way they communicate. Get it sorted UniS! Yours Sincerely, Ex-Surrey Court Resident

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barefacts notices
Womens Waterpolo AGM | Thursday 25th September | 11.30am | Students’ Union Committee Room Rifle Club AGM | Wednesday 24th September | 6pm | Students’ Union Committee Room Sports Standing | Monday 15th September | 6pm | Lecture Theatre E | One representative from each Club to attend Societies Standing | Monday 22nd September | 6pm | Lecture Theatre E | One representative from each Society to attend Barefacts Music Team Meeting | Every Monday | 5.15pm | USSU Media Centre Jiu Jitsu AGM | Monday 22nd September | 7pm | UniSport Foyer Ballroom Dancing Society AGM | Wednesday 24th September | 8pm | University Hall Music Society (Dance) AGM | Friday 26th September | 5pm | Students’ Union Committee Room

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4

Uneducation opinion
uneducation, uneducation
Barefacts Editor Chris Ward wonders how far the current GCSE and A level system has come in the last 20 years, and whether it really is any better at preparing youngsters for the ‘big wide world’.
IT’S THAT TIME of year again. GCSE and A-Level students across the country open their result envelopes and are later confronted with the usual whining from past O-Level students. If the pass rate is higher than last year, “exams are getting easier”. If it’s lower, “the students are getting more stupid”. However, as the recent reality TV show “That’ll Teach ‘Em” proves, O-Levels were certainly not “better” qualifications than GCSEs. The show, which takes a sample of this year’s GCSE students and places them in a 50s school with 50s style teaching, is purely an attempt to expose a nonexistent gap between the relevance of qualifications then and the relevance of qualifications today. The French teacher from the show is interviewed after giving a lesson on verb tenses. He expresses his shock when an A-grade French GCSE student is incapable of telling him the perfect tense of the verb “Avoire”, and emphasises that in the 50s, students were expected to know verbs and tenses off by heart. Well, that’s all fine and dandy. As a programmer, maybe I should be able to know every method and data member from every class in the Java programming language, but it doesn’t bring me any closer to knowing how to write a good program, or how to apply it efficiently. When I took GCSE French, the emphasis was on knowing how to apply verbs and tenses, and was not on the tenses themselves, which I believe (and many current teachers believe) is the best way to do it. One more thing… I got a C in GCSE French, and I can remember the past tense of “Avoire”. Perhaps O-Level students should base their arguments around more than one example. Unfortunately, the current GCSE and A-Level system seems no closer to preparing youngsters for the world of industry than the O-Levels were. One of the questions on an Intermediate GNVQ papers for Information and Communications Technology (ICT) was “Why is it good practise to backup files on your computer?”. Of course, these “high-flyers” that have passed with a distinction will

COMMENT

11 September 2003

... and Action
AFTER YEARS OF overlooking the problem, at last we are starting to see some action on the part of the local council concerning the underpasses off campus [see front page headline]. However, we must all ensure that this campaign is carried through to its finished, and does not fall by the wayside as the year continues. Next week barefacts will be publishing the renewed aims of the campaign, and on Friday 19th September the Sabbatical Officers will be meeting with the local police and Richard Anderson from Guildford Borough Council to discuss the proposals that have already been put forward and the timetable for the implication of these plans. Meanwhile, try not to walk home alone late at night, and kit up with your personal attack alarm, from available from the Students’ Union for only £1. Stay safe.

It’s That Time of Year Again...
WALKING AROUND CAMPUS you will probably have noticed some rather garishly coloured yellow posters proclaiming ‘Notice of Election’ stuck around the campus (of wafting in the wind). Many of you will know about the annual Sabbatical Elections that happen every year around March time, but these elections are something different. These elections, which are taking place in week 5 (on October 7th to be precise) are held to vote in students who help the Sabbatical Officers in running the Union. Anyone can stand, whether you’re a foundation year or final year, postgraduate or undergraduate, international or home student. All you need is a bit of drive to want to make things better for students. The main thing to get across is that being involved in the democratic side of the Union really is a lot of fun. You will meet a really great bunch of people, get to have your say in some important decisions, and have something rather impressive to pop on the old CV. So, what are you waiting for? Pop into the Union and speak to Scott Farmer, or any of the Sabbatical Officers, and become part of something really amazing.

“The PhD-hermits at the exam boards should consider communicating with the outside world & start educating themselves rather than filling the heads of A-Level & GCSE students with irrelevant crap.”

The First of Many
AS YOU MAY have gathered by now, this is the first barefacts of the year. More hours than seem to exist have been put into its creation, and it’s only the start of what will hopefully be a very successful year for student media at USSU. This is just a quick note from the Editor in Chief to say thanks to all the amazing people who’ve helped put issue 1059 of barefacts together, especially the sabbs, the editorial team, Chris and Ben (the dedicated 3am Wednesday team). Thanks guys.

certainly climb the ladder a lot faster with the knowledge that backing up files prevents losing them if the hard drive is corrupted. Similarly, Edexcel’s relatively new Advanced Vocational Certificate of Education (AVCE) in ICT has once again proven to be an utter waste of time. The “ICT Serving Organisations” paper certainly isn’t easy, but ridiculously ambiguous and the case study highly irrelevant to anything encountered in industry. For the second year running (the AVCE has only been running for two years), teachers around the country have complained that the academics at the top of the exam board hierarchy simply have no clue about what really happens outside the university office they have been hiding in for their entire professional careers. Don’t accuse me for just picking on Edexcel, however. I lost count of how many times my A-Level English Literature teacher sent practise papers back to AQA because, in her words, they were “crap”. And they certainly were. The practise paper we received prior to our final exam in English contained terrible spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and references to the wrong characters. We spent an entire lesson correcting mistakes in the paper, and trying to understand why examiners that tell us we are “getting it easy in English these days” are incapable of structuring a simple sentence without any spelling or grammatical errors. So, rather than take the advice of Professor Alan Smithers of Liverpool University who believes that it is once again time to make A-Levels harder, perhaps the PhD-hermits at the exam boards should consider communicating with the outside world and start educating themselves rather than filling the heads of ALevel and GCSE students with irrelevant crap. Until then, I still stand by the fact that academia teaches you, whereas the real world educates you.
Got something to say? barefacts@ussu.co.uk

barefacts | be heard

be heard

11 September 2003

COMMENT

AND

LETTERS

5

“I haven’t finished with drivers yet...”
Last April Chris Bradshaw wrote an article for this prestigious publication (available online at www.ussu.co.uk) concerning
the mentality of road users in Guildford. It has now come to light that he didn’t cover the subject of bad driving quite enough, so barerants returns, and this time motorways are the target.
MOTORWAYS. GREAT IDEA. A network of big, wide, fast roads spreading out across the country making it so much quicker and easier to get from A to B, without getting stuck behind C and the caravan it’s pulling. If you’ve ever seen the news footage from BBC of the M1 being opened you’d see how great they can be, a car pushing its way from London to Leeds as fast as it can go- with no-one getting in the way.
A dog: possibly a better driver than most motorway users

Forty-Four years on and things have changed. Even with today’s modern cars the average journey time from London to Leeds is probably longer. It gets blamed on there being “too many cars on the road” or “not good enough public transport alternatives” but the real reason is: too many people don’t know how to drive. There are several categories of bad driver who may impede your motorway travelling; I will attempt to address the main ones in turn here. “Middle Lane Owners Club”- Called MLOC for short, this is possibly the largest threat to

03
Union Elections
Coming soon:
Academic Affairs Officer Accommodation Officer Campaigns Officer Culture & Events Officer Ethics & Equal Opportunities Officer Non Portfolio Officer (2 posts) Placement & Employed Students Officer Union Chairperson and union councillors: elections for the ussu part time executive positions: Racial Relations Officer Constitution & Elections Committee (5 posts)
positions for more information, please contact the deputy returning officer scott farmer (s.farmer@surrey.ac.uk) or speak to any of the Sabbatical Officers in the Union.

sensible journey times on our motorways at the moment. Club membership entails only ever using the middle lanes. They’re too proud of their Club to go in the inside lane, which may contain trucks, slow vans and people leaving or joining the motorway. Similarly, they won’t use the outside lane because that’s only for boy racers and the Police. On an empty road, such behaviour is fine- that footage of the M1 in 1959 was perhaps used in their driving lessons- but not on today’s busy roads. MLOC members are

the number one cause of increased journey times on motorways, as everybody in the single lane outside them must do the same speed, rather than have the ability to pass each other. Please note- the inside lane is for driving along; all the others are for overtaking only. I don’t care if there’s a truck 2 miles ahead of you that you just spotted on the horizon and plan to overtake somewhere round Manchester- don’t go in the middle lane till you’re closer and ready to overtake. “Scaredy-cat Speeders”- These are the people who spot a Police Car, and must slow down. They may only have been doing 72 mph, but the risk of getting a ticket forces them to brake (quite often suddenly) and maintain a speed of at most 60 mph until the police car turns off. This type of driver will do exactly the same if they see a police car stopped on the hard shoulder, with the officer clearly visible in his yellow jacket chatting to a stricken motorist- hardly in a position to give chase on a crowded road when you’re two lanes over and he’s looking the other way. Behaviour like this drops the speed of everyone behind them, making a 1959 family car look fast. “Rubberneckers”- You must have seen these drivers. Although you can’t hear their voice or read their mind from your car, you know they’re saying “Oooh, there’s an accident I should turn and look at that, but it seems to be going past too quickly, so I’ll brake”. They do this even if the accident is on the other carriageway- and even if the “accident” is some child desperately needing to use the embankment because it’s ten miles to the next services. This kind of driver pays no attention to what the otherstill moving- vehicles around them are doing. You get two in a row and BLAM- we have another accident to look at, and more delays.

“MirrorPhobes”- You know those two fins on the side of your car, the one’s that are no good for applying make up with (chaps) or shaving (ladies), and just decrease the aerodynamic-ness of your car, LOOK IN THEM. Not just when you’re pulling out or changing lanes (although some mirrorphobes need training even in that), but every few seconds. You could also glance at the shaving mirror (that’s the one with the Christmas tree hanging off it) every now and again. You never know, you might spot the three mile tailback you’re creating by doing 60 in the outside lane BEFORE people start honking at you because they want to get to their destination before you put presents under that tree. Despite covering all these categories of driver here, I haven’t touched upon the drunk, stoned, reckless, unlicensed or just generally useless car owners on the roads. All these mirror-phobes, rubber-neckers, scaredy-cat-speeders and members of MLOC spend their lives holding us up and slowing down our journeys, and the worst bit is they all probably think they’re good drivers. So what can we do? Not much I’m afraid, these people all have licenses and in theory as much right to use the road as you. Gesticulating, shouting or generally abusing these people will land you in jail, and I think it unlikely that reporting them to the authorities will get you very far. The only solution I see is to save up your student loans and buy a helicopter - anyone want to club together?

6

UNION

11 September 2003

Welcome Back to USSU
The new Sabbatical Officers - Pete Tivers, Claire Iles, Sarah Butterworth, Chris Hunter & Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman welcome you back to your Students’ Union.
FIRST OF ALL a big hello to all the people returning from placement this year. We in the Union endeavour to make this an exciting and enjoyable year for you all. We have one big request of everyone that is going into their final year - please get involved with the Union as much as you can, because when you leave you will only regret not joining in. There are so many amazing things on offer for you to be a part of, so here’s a quick breakdown just to refresh your memories: YOU MAY NEVER have heard of ‘The V Project’ before and are wondering what exactly I am on, or perhaps you were part of making ‘V’ so sucessful last year and are ready to throw yourself back into it now the 2003 - 4 year is upon us. Whoever you are …hello and welcome! ‘The V Project’ is The University of Surrey Student Union’s programme for all students and staff which helps YOU maximize your potential and equip you with valuable life skills – so that you can learn, meet new people, have fun, and put your experiences to great use both within the University and local community – which of course has the added bonus of making you extremely employable! What else is this exciting? Quite frankly… not a lot! Here’s some vital info: The V Project is totally free! All we ask of you is a minimum of 1 hour a month, and a bit of enthusiasm! We are funded by the Government’s ‘Higher Education Active Community Fund’, which will cover any travel expenses. We will provide you with training and support and give you certificated accreditation. It is a fantastic opportunity to boost your CV by building on experiences and learning new skills. It offers you the chance to meet, learn from, and help people – giving you the satisfaction of doing something that actually makes a difference. If you are on the committee of a club or society, you are automatically classed as a V Project Volunteer, and all you have to do to get your snazzy certificate at the end of the year is tell us who you are and what you do - simple! You can also be involved in ‘Community Volunteering’ at an exciting project/ charity in the local community – just get in touch with Carol Main at USSU and she can help you decide where you want to go – easy peasy! You can also be involved in ‘The A Team’ who run various one off events to benefit the local community – last year events ranged from a fun shopping trip for the elderly to an exhilarating ‘battle of the bands’ in the USSU. The list of fun, interesting and exciting opportunities is constantly increasing and changing as new ones arise – if we do not have the opportunity already we will do our very best to find something to suit your personal needs and desires! Whether it’s people, animals or machines that makes you buzz – there’s something for everyone – the list is endless! ‘The V Poject’ can benefit everyone at the University of Surrey – all students and all staff. My name is Carol Main and I am the Outreach & Development Co-ordinator based in the USSU. Name: Tel: Email: Web: Person: Carol Main (01483) (68) 3254 c.main@surrey.ac.uk http://www.ussu.co.uk/volunteering The Activities Centre @ USSU

Sports Clubs and Societies

Don’t forget we have over a hundred different Clubs and Socs for you to get involved with. They are there for you to enjoy yourselves when the rigour of lectures is getting you down. You don’t have to be a pro to join in, just have an interest, so pop down to Freshers’ Fayre in the Students’ Union and UniSport on Wednesday 24th September and sign up.

barefacts, GU2 and ussu.co.uk

These are the three huge communication tools at USSU. They are produced by students, for students, so whether you are a budding journalist or just want to put your views across, it’s easy to write an article for this very newspaper. If you fancy having a go at radio, there is a once in a lifetime opportunity to do so at GU2. Also, if you are an Internet expert and want to give the Webteam a hand at running our website, just pop in to the Media Centre and have a chat with us.

DAVE, V and FUSE

This is a big chance to give your CV a needed boost before you leave University for the big wide world. The DAVE project is there to enhance everyday skills from presentations to assertiveness, the V project is a unique volunteering system for you to put something back into the community and FUSE is a helping hand for any of you entrepreneurs out there which can help you put your ideas into practice.

Union Council and Union Executive

Here’s your chance to get your voice heard. There are 16 members of the Union Executive (or ‘Exec’) and only five of those are the Sabbatical Officers. The Exec is the team of people who run the Union. If you want to be involved at an important level, have a look at the details of positions available and election dates, which are being advertised now. Alternatively come along to Union Council to discuss all the relevant up-to-date details of what’s going on in the Union, have your say and make policy about how the Union is run.

Nights out

Don’t forget in the Union you have the best nights out ever! It is the ideal place to meet up with your mates in a safe, fun and relatively cheap environment. Remember: There is something for everyone so turn to the Entertainments Planner in barefacts and see what’s on offer this week.
The new USSU Sabbatical Officers: Chris Hunter (VP Societies & Culture), Claire Iles (VP Education & Welfare), Pete Tivers (President), Sarah Butterworth (VP Communications & Marketing) and Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman (VP Sports)

8

COMMUNICATION

11 September 2003

Communicate student media @ ussu
be he rd heard
By Sarah Butterworth | Editor in Chief Hopefully by the time you read this you’ll have had a chance to sample the delights of the first barefacts of the 2003-4 academic year. If by some small miracle this is the first page you have read, if you have a flick through this issue you will find everything from the latest campus news to reviews of music releases over the summer and even the wordsearch and pub quiz to keep you awake during your bleary-eyed 9am lectures. But the barefacts saga doesn’t stop there, or even start there. Behind the scenes there is a team of eager beavers working hard to bring you your favourite newspaper every Thursday... and this is where you come into it! It’s probably an overused phrase, but barefacts is written by students for students. Traditionally bf is under the umbrella of the VP Comms, but it is moving more and more into the control of the students. If you have a glance at page 3 you will see the friendly faces of this year’s Editorial Team, as well as everyone else who has contributed to this issue. It’s been a great start to the year, but we need you to get involved. You can get involved as a music reviewer, designer, editor, theatre reviewer, or write anything for the sections containing news, comment, interactive, sports, lifestyle, literature and much more. It’s very simple to get something printed in barefacts - all you need to do is write it, attach it to an email and send it over to barefacts@ussu.co.uk. If there is something you feel is missing from barefacts then make sure you let us know - afterall, it’s your newspaper! You do not have to be involved in the Union to write for barefacts, you do not need to be part of some ‘special group of people’, and you don’t have to be an amazing writer. All it takes is a little bit of inspiration, and some enthusiasm. The most important thing is that being part of the barefacts team is a lot of fun, and can take up as much or as little time as you like. So, if you want to get your voice heard, get involved with something exciting in the Students’ Union, and meet some fantastic people, then drop us a line - barefacts@ussu.co.uk - or keep an eye open for details of the first bf general meeting.
barefacts | be heard | barefacts@ussu.co.uk

Do You GU2?
From 9am on Monday 8th September GU2 has been back on air broadcasting across campus 24 hours a day on 1350am. With a hugely diverse range of music programmes, whenever you tune in there is bound to be something to suit your musical taste just around the corner. Below is a selection of the highlights of the coming week, followed by a few words from GU2’s new Station Manager, Amelia Lefroy. Every weekday morning 10am-12noon: Big Luke’s Late Breakfast Show Monday 8-10pm: AKD Productions Tuesday 7-9pm: Just a Rock Show with DJ Steed & Drummer Boy Wednesday 7-9pm: The Antichart with Jen Walker 9-10pm: AKD Productions 10-11pm: The Presence with P Thursday 7-10pm: The J-Team Classic with Mr Tea & Mr Mental Friday 5-7pm: Cyclone Dance Show with DJ Woody 7-9pm: CAGL on Air Saturday 10am-12noon: FNO Recovery Show with Big Luke 6-8pm: Take Two with Chris Hall 8-10pm: Chris Chang’s Carribean Show Sunday 10am-12noon: The Sunday Supplement with Kyd 1-3pm: The GU2 Chart Show with Sabeena 3-5pm: The Sunday Service with Sam 5-7pm: The Student Radio Chart Show This year for GU2 began back in May when I was elected as GU2 Station Manager at the Committee Elections. Very little happened over the early part of the summer, but when I got back in July the fun really began! For the first time since Guildford Campus Radio was re-launched as GU2 over two years ago, the position of Station Manager will not be a placement year student. Instead, GU2 is becoming more society focused with responsibility being shared more equally among its members, the committee and the Vice President Communications and Marketing, Sarah Butterworth. So with the help of the DAVE project the new committee have been trained, and worked out GU2’s aims and challenges for the coming year. ‘So what are these aims?’ I hear you shout. Well, here are a few of them… The Union have allocated money to buy outside broadcast equipment for GU2, so we can get out every week and broadcast from wherever takes our fancy - Roots, Chancellors, the Friary Center or anywhere else we’re called to be. To have the most inclusive schedule of programmes and music genres possible. Some radio stations promise you the ‘best music’ and ‘all the greatest hits’, but they are often empty promises. At GU2 we understand that someone’s idea of a hit will be someone else’s musical nightmare. That’s why this year our aim is to get a schedule that represents all tastes, from Urban to Indie and from Punk to Pop, sorry, ‘contemporary popular classics’ as the JTeam would say! Basically our aim is to ensure everyone has a show with which they can identify with the music. We are also working with the Vice President Societies and Culture, Chris Hunter, so that societies and sports clubs can advertise any events they want to (see new societies handbook). Above all we want loads of people to get involved. There’s so much to get involved in; not just presenting, but marketing, production, news, the technical side and loads more. There’s no excuse for people saying ‘it’s rubbish’. Firstly because it isn’t and second of all because it’s so easy to get involved and make it what you want it to be. Any feedback or enquiries should go to manager@gu2.co.uk, because GU2 is whatever you make it!

ussu guide to life 2003
By Sarah Butterworth | Vice President Communications & Marketing IF YOU HAVE paid a visit to the Students’ Union over the past few weeks you may have noticed a selection of brightly coloured leaflets adorning the new racks outside the Media Centre. Many of you will remember the ‘Guide to Life’ from you first year days as a thick A4 or A5 booklet, but this year it has undergone a re-vamp, and is now sent out to Freshers as a set of leaflets in a funky new folder. As a result we have also gained several thousand extra leaflets around the Union, on Sports, Societies, Student Media, Welfare, Student Representation, DAVE, V and of course the main ‘Guide to Life’. So, pop into the Union and pick up a Guide to Life pack, and find out everything you every needed to know about UniS & USSU!

photograph by sarah butterworth

11 September 2003

Are You Bulletin Bored?
Neil Christie, a pre-first year about to embark upon a Business Management degree at Surrey, takes a look at how the Students’ Union Bulletin Board has given Pre-Freshers a unique insight into University Life, and asks: is the stereotypical online Bulletin Board user a reality or myth?
IF YOU WERE anything like me in the months before starting University, you wanted to know as much about the Universities you selected for your six UCAS choices as possible. I read the leaflets, visited what I thought would be my top choices, and scoured through various University Guides until I thought I had a well-established opinion on where I wanted to go. Beer prices, male to female ratios, and least likely to get mugged were amongst the top criteria until I stumbled across the University of Surrey Students’ Union’s online Bulletin Board (BB). And stumble I did – through many topics and many posts. It was a rapid realisation that university was not just going to be about getting drunk. Indeed – it was a sad moment. However, it opened up my eyes to the fact that university was going to be my life and my home for the next four years, so it had better be somewhere I know I’m going to enjoy. My head filled with about three million questions and, after registering on the BB, I asked most of those pressing questions that I couldn’t get answers to from any pamphlet or Open Day guide. I wanted to know what it was going to be like at Surrey on a day-to-day basis, the real perspective from students in their first, second, placement, and final years. Now I feel like Surrey is far more familiar to me than home – and at time of writing I don’t even have my accommodation allocation letter. From the cost of haircuts, to the facilities available everywhere within the university itself; I feel fully prepared for the whole experience and, as I sit here now, I simply cannot wait to go. I think the most fearful idea about university for a fresher is simply ‘not knowing’. Anything. It’s like plunging head first into a hole you know will take a good three years to climb out of. By having some kind of knowledge of the journey you’re about to embark upon, it eases the tension and really does (for me at least) make the whole ordeal a lot more exciting and enjoyable. I’ve looked around for other universities with a BB and (for my choices), couldn’t find a single one. I was coming to Surrey anyway but after learning so much more about the university, it cemented my choice a long time ago. So much so that come my A level results, I didn’t want to have an insurance choice – it was Surrey or nothing. So why do relatively few people know about or register with the BB? I guess that is the real essence of this article. The stereotypical Internet user has to be some skinny, pretty

BULLETIN BOARD

9

repulsive looking person, hiding behind their monitor and four-inch-thick glasses – typing with one hand, configuring a new PC with another – staring solidly at the screen, and has a complete mess around them due to the fact they haven’t moved for the past 18 years. “A geek” I hear you cry. Is this really true? Clearly I’d like not to think so. Given the argument that someone with a social life would be outside with their friends, involved in something – anything – and be far too busy to sit at home on a computer and do such things such as posting on a Bulletin Board, it does however seem pretty conclusive. BBs are also renowned for being tightly knit communities of nerds. Again, as there are regular users who post frequently on all topics, friendships do tend to be struck up ‘on the boards’ and, as with any close circle of friends, there can seem to be exclusive elements about it. A clique, if you will.

“The stereotypical Internet user has to be some skinny, pretty repulsive looking person, hiding behind their monitor and fourinch-thick glasses, typing with one hand and configuring a new PC with another”

Finally the very nature of some of the discussions – technical, IT-related drivel, or philosophical thoughts about the world as a whole – is simply not cool. QED? I’d like to offer a very strong ‘Objection’ to those points. The beauty of a Bulletin Board is that it’s not a chatroom. A post is like a letter. It can be made at any time, and will stand there for all to view in a day’s time. Therefore the idea of users constantly being online is mostly a wrong one. Personally I tend to post when I have a few spare minutes at home. Time that, in the absence of a computer, would probably be filled by sitting in front of the television. Otherwise, it’s after a prolonged drinking session with friends and, upon arriving home, it always seems like the most sensible suggestion is to cook up a bacon sandwich, see what’s on the box and (when it appears there’s nothing but Eastenders repeats on) scour the BB

for interesting content. I’d like to point out now that those times provide the most interesting replies by far, and the tastiest bacon sandwiches known to man. From looking at what I’ve gained from the USSU Bulletin Board – a secure knowledge of what to expect; the reassurance that other freshers will be studying my course and I won’t be alone in the lecture room; the real insight into the university accommodation; an idea of what to, and what not to bring on the first week; a helpful array or suggestions for employment in the forthcoming term; being constantly ‘encouraged’ to write an article for Barefacts; and I guess most importantly a few friendships before reaching Surrey, it seems like I knew nothing before reading previous comments and speaking to existing members of the university. It provides direct and honest opinions – which mostly differ but on the whole provide a good idea of what to expect – on university life. It will also open up windows for you to get involved, if you wish to, with various societies and organisations including Barefacts, Stage Crew, and GU2. In short, it’s really not at all bad. The stereotyping doesn’t bother me and to have such a useful ‘service’ provided in the shape of a BB, the university is miles ahead of others I have looked at. In the modern era computers, and the Internet, will shape all areas of employment and be heavily implemented everywhere. To not realise their potential now, with a dismissive attitude of those who use them, is unlikely to bring about many benefits in the future. You don’t need to spend your weekend in front of a screen to reap the benefits. Twenty minutes a week would keep you clued up on matters in and around the Uni, and ensure you don’t miss out on a pub crawl over the forthcoming week. For those who simply were not aware of the BB – get on there and see what it has to offer. It may not have something for everyone – but with discussions regarding decisions to be made in your Union, ideas floated concerning your university, and answers to questions you get stuck on – can you really afford to ignore it? It also seems everyone there likes to go out and have fun as much as anyone else. In my book that qualifies for a read, with or without a bacon sarnie. The University of Surrey Students’ Union Bulletin Board can be found at:

http://bb.ussu.co.uk

10

PROFESSIONAL

11 September 2003

Dr Russ Replies
DR RUSS CLARK | UNIS CAREERS SERVICE I’ve just got back and I am in a panic about fitting in job hunting with my final year studies. Got any good advice? Some students like to concentrate entirely on their studies in their final year so they can get the best possible degree. Your first option is therefore to delay the whole career thing until after you graduate. However, there are good reasons, for doing some of your thinking and preparation while you’re still here. For a start, most of the things we are organising will be easier to attend now than after you’ve graduated. What’s more, if you would like a job next year with a popular graduate recruiter such as Mars or Accenture, you have to meet their deadlines, often before Christmas, to stand any chance. Early applications for other options such as primary teacher training are also advisable. What can the Careers Service do to help? Just to give you a few examples, our Vacancy Bulletin, which you can view on the Careers Service web-site at portal.surrey.ac.uk/ careers will keep you up to date with the latest employer requirements. The annual Careers Fair on Thursday 9 October when you could talk informally to people from about 50 organisations. We also have a series of talks by careers staff and invited speakers taking place throughout the semester. You could come along to a seminar to sharpen up your interview technique or you could try a practice aptitude test. How can I find out more? We produce a Careers Service Guide which will tell what’s going on during the year. Every final year student should have their own copy in their departmental pigeon-hole. If it’s not there, try your departmental office first and then the Careers Service. We have loads of spare copies for students who are new to Surrey as well. Where is the Careers Service? In case you haven’t visited us before, we live next to the Accommodation Office in the Philip Marchant Building. We are open between 9am and 12.30pm and between 1.30pm and 5.30pm though we close at 5pm on Fridays and during vacations. Is it OK to just to drop in? Of course - you don’t even have to talk to anyone but we are there to help if you need us. The first thing you will see when you walk in are a series of files marked “Your degree….. What next? A browse through the one for your degree will give you ideas about what to do when you leave. If you’d like to speak to a careers adviser there is often someone available to deal with a short query and if you’d like a longer chat then we can easily arrange a suitable time for you.

Happy New Year from the Alumni Society
The new academic year calls for new year resolutions – study hard, attend seminars, stay awake during lectures…… but for the Alumni & Development Office, the new year has all sorts in store for both staff and students! Amintha Buckland explains...
The Who? The Alumni & Development Office is a new team which now includes the Surrey Alumni Society and is led by Professor Peter Butterworth, the Vice Chancellor’s Development Director. So what is the Surrey Alumni Society about? The Surrey Alumni Society offers various services to our 30,000+ graduates which have increased as the Alumni & Development team has grown. Once you graduate, we become your main point of contact with the University – we send you magazines, newsletters, organise reunions and assist in networking opportunities. But now, we also give our alumni a real chance to remain involved with the University by contributing to its future via the Annual Fund. Why an annual fund? As financial support for the universities from central government declines relentlessly, we have to seek alternative sources of income. We are therefore going to have to be resourceful in seeking ways to fund our ambitious plans for the future, and to continue to attract the best students to study here. What is the money spent on? The priorities for this ongoing Fund will be scholarships and grants to help students who, through no fault of their own, have financial difficulties. A proportion of the Fund will also be used to improve the learning experience of every student through the library and the enhancement of facilities on campus. Is it successful? The first donations for the Annual Fund were received in June. To date, we have donations from the UK and from as far afield as China and Canada. We are also delighted that Penelope Keith OBE, actress, former High Sheriff of Surrey and an Honorary Graduate of the University of Surrey, has agreed to be the Patron of the Fund. How can you help? Remember, students will benefit from this Fund! As part of the programme, we will run a telephone campaign for the month of November in which current students will contact graduates in their own discipline. We will recruit and employ a team of 40 students to call our alumni and discuss the new opportunities that the Fund offers. This is not only an ideal opportunity for students to earn money before Christmas, but also the perfect chance to help promote the Annual Fund. How do I find out more? Keep reading Barefacts Have a look at the Alumni & Development Office website – www.surrey.ac.uk/alumni Look out for posters about working on the telephone campaign around campus For more information email Amintha Buckland at a.buckland@surrey.ac.uk

All final year students were asked to give the Surrey Alumni Society their email address so that we can stay in contact with them after graduation. The winner of the final year email prize draw was Lianne Davis, a 2003, SBLS graduate.

There’s no time like the Present
Cathryn Arrowsmith of the Careers Service explains more about their weekly careers presentations
I hope by now you have received your copy of “Help and advice for your future career” and so perhaps are wondering, what can the Careers Service do? Well, one thing we do is arrange for you to meet employers. Getting “that job” is about active engagement in a two way process. You need to find out as much as you can about a prospective employer, just as they will want to find out about you. At the end of the day both parties take something on trust and draw inferences, but employers seek to minimise this risk by maximising their knowledge about you. You will find them very thorough, using written applications, aptitude tests and assessment centres as well as interviews to find information. Take steps to even the score. How to find an employer? Your first step will inevitably be, find the vacancy, but then the work begins. Most employers have a website. Go to it. Do you feel encouraged? If you are still interested you are likely to have questions and if an employer is visiting you have a ready made opportunity to get the answers you need, direct. Furthermore it is not unusual for representatives to divulge information on these occasions which is not available from any other source. This may be a deliberate policy, because they want later to be able to track your commitment to securing a job with them or it may be as a result of an answer to a question or a casual aside to an image on a screen. So a presentation is a research tool, but it is also a lot more. And I ’m not referring to the free drinks and food, which are sometimes provided! If you were to attend a lot of presentations, as I do , you would be struck by how reflective they are of a company and its’ ethos. They give you a chance to get a feel for what your working life might be like. There is usually an opportunity to chat informally to the company representatives, who are often a mixture of recent recruits and more senior managers. You will be able to decide whether you would like these people as colleagues, plus you may get tips on do’s and don’ts at interview. We are repeatedly told we live in a knowledge-based economy, so information has the power to impress and will make you stand out from the crowd! But a final advantage you might gain from going to a presentation is confidence. If you have struck up a relationship with an employer on your own territory, you may find an interview less daunting. Being relaxed and confident will help you on the road to success. Details of the presentations this semester can be found in “Help and advice for your future career”, on our website portal.surrey.ac.uk/careers or you can email me c.arrowsmith@surrey.ac.uk. You can also find them in barefacts each week.

Coming Up in Week 2 at the Careers Service
Chosing a Career MONDAY 15TH SEPTEMBER 2003 Dr Russ Clark, Head of the Careers Service, will suggest a number of ways to help you to make a good career choice. He will include examples of careers open to graduates who want to consider jobs unrelated to their degrees. The Diplomatic Service TUESDAY 16TH SEPTEMBER 2003 6.15pm | LTF Jon Benjamin, a Surrey graduate, will talk about careers in the Diplomatic Service, including tips on how to get in (and get on) as well as telling anecdotes from his own career.
1–1.45 pm | LTF

11 September 2003

UNION FEATURE - RAG

11

RAG - Raising and Giving
As the University semester begins, RAG Chairperson Zoe Kilb explains just exactly what RAG is and why it really is worth getting involved
Calling all 2nd and final year students! Looking for something fun and fulfilling to fill up the year? Need something to put on your CV? Want to have a last bit of studentfuelled fun before leaving University? Want something more than your degree? THEN JOIN RAG What? RAG stands for Raising and Giving, and the RAG Society aims to raise as much money as possible for loads of different charities and good causes, whilst having as much fun as possible. Why? There are many great reasons to join RAG here are just a few of them: Voluntary Work looks great on your CV Great new friends and some excellent memories The opportunity to learn new skills including teamwork, and event organisation The opportunity to learn about Charities and the Law You get to do something for a good cause and feel great about yourself You get to travel around the UK for free! (This term alone RAG are travelling to Windsor, Birmingham and Manchester) It’s lots of fun! When? RAG events take place all around the year, with the highlight being RAG week. This is a whole week dedicated to RAG which takes place in the second semester. How? We raise money in a variety of ways including street collections, sponsored sporting events, pub-crawls, quizzes and more! Our first event will be a street collection in aid of Breast Cancer Campaign in Guildford Town Centre on Saturday 4th October. Get involved! Second and final years it’s not too late to get involved! It’s never too late to join RAG. Whether you want to come along to every weekly meeting and get yourself on the committee or you just want to come along to one collection, you’re welcome!! There are four easy ways you can get involved! 1. Come along to our next meeting: Tuesday 16th Sept 6pm TB 6. 2. Come and visit us at our Freshers Fayre Stand on Wednesday 23rd September. 3. Send us an email rag@ussu.co.uk 4. Just turn up at any of our events – you’ll always be welcome! To find out more visit www.ussu.co.uk/rag Look out in future editions of Barefacts for details of our up and coming events.
photograph by chris hunter

Last academic year RAG raised nearly £8967.71 for Charity! Here’s where the money went to:
Breakthrough Breast Cancer - £2508.99
Funding research into the causes and the cure of Breast Cancer.

Meningitis Research Foundation - £2262.91

Fighting death and disability from meningitis and septicaemia through research, and supporting people affected by these diseases.

RNIB (The Royal National Institute for the Blind)- £1,000

Providing support and services for Blind and Partially Sighted people in the UK as well as campaigning and raising awareness of issues affecting these people.

Riding for the Disabled Association – Brockenhurst Branch - £1,000

Giving disabled people the opportunity to get to know horses and ponies and ride them, as well as helping to raise their confidence and self esteem.

Disability Challengers - £1,000

Providing play, art, drama and music activities for disabled children and young people in Surrey.

NACC (The National Association for Colitis and Crohn’s disease) - £1,000
Helping people in the UK who suffer from Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn’s Disease (two forms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

Help the Aged - £195.81

Working to combat poverty, reduce isolation, defeat ageism and challenge poor standards in care for elderly people in the UK. Huge well done to the RAG Committee, especially Catherine Marshall last year’s Chairperson, a massive thank you to everyone who took part in last year’s events and a humungous thank you to everyone who donated!
Last year’s Victorian RAG Raid in Guildford High Street

LITERATURE

FESTIVAL

FEVER

Literature Editor Jennifer Matt Badcock takes a trip Walker wonders what’s to Glastonbury festival, more important in a good whilst Andrew Malek book - a good story or a brings us some of the deep meaning? delights of Reading 2003

Terminator 3 - Fantasy or Reality?
Chris Ward takes a trip to the Odeon, and is pleasantly surprised by the third installment of the Terminator trilogy
It would be interesting to see how the script for this film developed. Imagine a board meeting of executives, discussing all the effects and events that could unfold. One of them suddenly stands up, silences the rest, and says “look, trilogies always tend to push it. If we don’t take the piss out of this film, then everyone else will”. And thus Terminator 3 is born, opening with the usual format. A terminator is sent back in time to kill John Connor (the kid from T2) and all his future leaders in the resistance. In order to try and stop this happening, another Terminator (reprogrammed to do good) is sent back to protect two in particular – John Connor (Nick Stahl) and his future lieutenant in the resistance, Kate Miller (Claire Danes). A comical entrance from Arnold Schwarzenegger sees him entering a strip club to find clothing and a mode of transport. After acquiring his clothes from an overly-camp male stripper (and finding that the “Elton John” sunglasses aren’t quite his style), he proceeds to complete his mission to protect Connor and Miller. Kristanna Loken puts up an excellent performance as the Terminator sent to kill the future leaders of the resistance. With her stern facial expression and piercing “I’m constantly pissed off” eyes, she succeeds in scaring the pants off the male audience. Perhaps the scariest thing about the entire film is the utter accuracy of the content. The two Terminators are science-fiction, and are merely speculation about what cybernetic beings may be in the future. But the concept of intelligent systems is very much alive, and the gap between now and the time we do start to rely on them to co-ordinate large tasks is slowly closing. Terminator 3 is a proud attempt at a second prequel, and the one-liners and odd humorous gags help to discard the cheesy side of the storyline and make the film one to remember.

M.A.S.H. (1969) – Humour In The Face Of War
Film Editor Neil Boulton takes us down memory lane with a visit to that classic of classics, M.A.S.H.
Director: Robert Altman Starring: Donald Sutherlan, Elliot Gould The (Anti)war film M.A.S.H. concerns the adventures of a pair of rebellious surgeons in the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, who try to remain sane in the face of the carnage of the Korean war going on around them. But for the two surgeons, with the informal tags of Hawkeye and Trapper remaining sane involves a fair dose of madness. The view and lifestyle is shared by their colleagues and most of their superiors, with the only folk objecting to the medical team’s efforts to lead some kind of normal life are the regular army officers on the outside and newly commissioned to their unit. Drink, debauchery and golf help them deal with fixing soldiers from the field and the rampage of army bureaucracy. When this fictitious account of war on the front lines was released 30 years ago it received critical and commercial acclaim, from five nominations it successfully scooped itself an Oscar for it’s screenplay (It was nominated for best picture). Nowadays the film remains popular with a cult status, mainly due to the film’s unique feel and dark subversive nature. However the fact it spawned a long running Sit-com (The Sitcom was much lighter in tone and featured different actors in roles from the film) can’t have damaged the film’s standing against the test of time. Due to it’s low budget the film has a strong documentary essence to it, this works well in it’s favour and the technique was new angle at the time, helping to highlight the horrors amongst the humour. The cast were all relatively unknown, for many it was their first film, in addition it was one of the first works of now renowned director Robert Altman and it’s success helped launch the careers of Donald Sutherland and Elliot Gould (Hawkeye and Trapper respectively). While it’s low budget may have helped maintain realism it also meant Altman could make the film he wanted as he operated under 20th century Fox’s radar so that studio bosses wouldn’t interfere with his film. Along with its anti-establishment leanings there are also accounts of blasphemy and indications of the doctors strong moral stance, their focus as doctors rather than soldiers, distancing themselves from the army and acting as conscientious objectors there to help people. The film doesn’t appear to have much symbolism but parallels the Vietnam war (The filmmakers removed as many references to fact the film took place in the Korean war as possible) and the inter-company football match held in the film seems to work well as an analogy for war itself. The picture may not be to everyone’s taste, as mentioned earlier, the humour is very dark and at times you might be able to casually mistake it for a war time documentary. An excellent turn is put in by the whole cast, especially by the two leads Sutherland and

Classic of the Week
Gould, who front the proceedings with an amusing dead pan yet care-free demeanour. Altman’s style of shooting is also worthy of praise, using zoom lenses to get shots of actors whilst they’re in the thick of things. This came about from the film’s very improvisational shoot where actors were often filmed without knowledge of the camera’s whereabouts. The pace of the film is more tortoise than hare, this in addition to it’s loose structure and ambling plot means you probably can’t just randomly pick it up and watch, the right frame of mind may be in order. But if you want to watch something humorous in the face of adversity, yet real, then I highly recommend you watch this.

Theme Rating

War, Comedy 15

Running 111 minutes Time
Watch this if you like
Black Comedy Vietnam-era war films A darker version of Sgt Bilko

Literature
11 September 2003

LITERATURE

15

A Good Story or a Deep Meaning?
War and Peace? Harry Potter? Literature Editor Jennifer Walker takes a look at what really defines a literary classic.
What would you define as a good book? One which tells a tale that gets you so engrossed in it such that you cannot put it down, or one which is has something to say about humanity and the nature of the world? Most people will answer yes to the latter if they were asked what makes good literature; however, say you had to choose between “War and Peace” and “Harry Potter”? Sales figures suggest that a captivating story which has little or no underlying meaning tends to be the more popular choice. This poses another question then; are people still interested in “true” literature? Personally I boycotted Harry Potter and other modern bestsellers because they did not have anything to say (plus sometimes I can be a literary snob), but after the torture that was James Joyce, I caved in to modern bestsellers when I was given an Anne Rice book at Christmas. And although it was considerably longer than the former, I could not put it down and finished it within a series of days. But would I say her book was a classic? They certainly have cult status, yet I doubt they will be taught to future GCSE students. Don’t get me wrong, I found a lot of meaning and philosophy behind “A portrait of a young man as an artist”, but that does not mean I was not bored to death! However there are good classics out there that will grip the reader as well as having something to say; for example, “Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde (but who does not like Oscar Wilde?) and Homer’s “The Oddysey” (which is debatable though, but also depends on the translation of the text). Maybe the fact that there is a significant distinction between “classic” literature and modern are to do with the development of human communication. Linguistics have developed over time, as have writing styles; so perhaps the modern writer has just got better at writing a story that will interest the modern reader. As people, us modernists are rather impatient and do not really “like” to think too much (true, this seems like a stereotype but if you compare ourselves to the 18th century reader we are), much to the fault of modern TV and cinema. We want our stories “WHAM BANG SLAM”, full of action and adventure and most importantly at a really fast pace.

Psychoanalysis in literature has also decreased in popularity as well. This can be deduced from the fact that in the modern age the state of the world is so depressing! It depresses us to analyse too much, so we choose to forget about it. We turn to film, TV and books for escapism, so one does not want to read about the state of the world and the disturbing thing that is human nature. The public want to be entertained! So instead of a method of education and a way to learn about the nature of the world, literature has become a form of entertainment. But maybe we do not need to learn about the world from a book? With kids learning to be streetwise from an early age, by the time we can appreciate the classics, they have nothing new to offer us. So at the end of the day, this fallacious dichotomy of “good” versus “popular” literature depends on the time and what the society wants from it. For the modern day generation that factor is entertainment value.

Interview with the Vampire
- Anne Rice -

“Interview with the Vampire” is the first of many books in the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, made famous by the film in 1994 (starring Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise). Anne Rice’s books have been growing in popularity ever since, and I can see why. The book starts off with Louis, a vampire, telling his story of his life to a young reporter. In 1791, just outside of New Orleans, he was made into a vampire by the alluring and evil Lestat, yet his compassion could not stop Louis feeling a tremendous disgust for feeding. Yet things change when Claudia, an orphaned child is made into their vampire daughter. Eventually Louis and Claudia break free from Lestat and travel in search of others of their kind; a journey which only ends in tragedy. The story dwells on the conflict between his feelings for his victims and his need for blood (and the guilt that inevitably brings), and his love, hatred and passion for his fellow vampires, Lestat, Claudia and Armand. There is such a seductive beauty, and horror in all her characters that you are moved by the events that occur in the book; the tragedy of Claudia’s eternal childhood and her pained desire to be a woman gives a feeling of depth into the book along with the passion and pain of Louis and the frivolous selfishness of Lestat. Anne Rice creates an alternative universe in which one is pulled down into; her descriptions of 18th century New Orleans and 19th century Europe are so vivid and fascinating, not allowing any moment for the reader to be bored. Forget the conventional image of the hammer horror vampires with no souls or reflection who are repelled by crucifixes and garlic; the vampires of Anne Rice are disturbingly human. It is a book that is beautifully described and sensually written but be wary of the curse of Anne Rice, for one is never enough. After the first taste you will feel compelled to devour her books, every last one.
Jennifer Walker | Literature Editor

Delusions of Adequacy.
by Katy Saunders
I stumblingly believe I am worthwhile But know that I am not. In the violent misgivings of hatred I lie confused and broken Like a vase thrown in a heated rage Broken and forgotten and never again perfect.

I am the world to one: All things dark and beautiful come from me. Lacking the control I so desire, Unable to stop the torrid rains from coming, Always coming to wash away pain and hate and sin The sin we are all guilty of. I am the world. I am the truth. I am the light. We are all borne of light, And yet so many shelter in the comfort That the darkness can bring. Cover me in a shroud darkness and peace Never let me go. I am not worthy.

Theatre Section
Watch out for the theatre section in the coming week’s barefacts, where Theatre Editor Daisy Clay will be introducing some of the hidden theatrical gems from in and around Guildford as well as reviewing plays from Guildford’s very own Yvonne Arnaud Theatre and interviewing some of the hottest stars around.

16
This week’s music is reviewed by one of barefacts’ new Music Editors, Matt Badcock. If you want to become part of the Music Team, then keep an eye open in barefacts for details of the first Music Team meeting of the year in a few weeks time. THE WISDOM OF HARRY CRASH HELMET Matador Records Mellow, Crash Helmet off the proceeding album Torch Division uses twinkle guitars and a soft voice complementing the low tempo and eloquent lyrics. Vocals provided by Pete Astor float away, carried off just by their innocent sound and obvious underlying talent at what they do.

MUSIC
THE KEYS LOVE YOUR SONS & DAUGHTERS Too Pure Retro riffs open, creating pure rock n roll seen recently by the likes of BRMC and the Strokes, but The Keys add Beach Boys harmonies in stylish Love Your Sons & Daughters. Definitely in the crop of new talent and including the obligatory The before their name have all the making of a top band but must find even stronger songs. With this early glimpse and the up coming release of self-titled debut LP theirs so no doubt they can unlock The Key to success. Music Ratings THE RAPTURE HOUSE OF JEALOUS LOVERS Mercury Records The Rapture have caused somewhat of a storm as one of the most exciting new bands around, with The House Of Jealous Lovers illustrating this with their fantastically fresh punk-house-funk sound. Lively disco beats accompany guitars while rip soaring punk vocals make The Rapture essential listening.

11 September 2003
Dashboard Confessional performing live

singles

outstanding

excellent good average poor

ELBOW CAST OF THOUSANDS V2 Music Following the acclaimed 2001 debut album Asleep In The Back, Elbow aim to recreate and build on this success. An unaccomplishable challenge, not for these lads from Manchester who have had more knock backs than the applicants of pop idol, defying the odds with this skilfully crafted album showing their Mercury prize nominated debut album was no fluke. Guy Garvey’s vocals hit chilling point, delivering the lyrics to excellent single Not A Job with livelier melodies combined with powerful chorus producing a quiet beautiful blend of emotional rock and moving song writing. From the descriptive Ribcage to the brooding epic Grace Under Pressure seeing the Glastonbury crowd ‘singing We Believe In Love, So Fuck You’ endorses Cast Of Thousands as a truly exceptional album. As the top albums of 2003 are put together at the end of the year expect to see Elbow figuring heavily with its moody and atmospheric sound converting even the most sceptic music cynosure to sample the wonderful delights of Elbow.

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL A MARK A MISSION A BRAND A SCAR | Vagrant American soft rockers, Dashboard Confessional pack in loads of heartfelt lyrics with inoffensive accompaniment. The entire album includes one above average track after another, with the catchy tunes and effective production delivering a pristine LP, too perfect? Well it just about managers to maintain some spontaneity with Chris Carrabba’s charmed vocals. Many of a story is told including Hand Down where Chris describes of his joy and happiness the sort of mushy thing that would be played on the likes of an American Pie soundtrack. Not taking anything away from A Mark A Mission A Brand A Scare is a good album within its young American softrock genre but is less innovating than other current releases.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Guy Garvey of Elbow

LONGVIEW MERCURY 14th Floor Records Debut release from Manchester based Longview brings early comparisons to the likes of The Doves and Elbow. Delicate, expressive rock binds the album together with the immaculate Further breezing along that initially signalled Longview’s arrival on the scene with this piece of fantastic, eloquent rock. New single, Can’t Explain carries on the mellow tones with descriptive lyrics delivered by the succulent ambience of Mc Vey’s vocals. Not just content at the laid back emotional tracks When You Sleep sees a faster tempo with Longview able to take the perfect elements and execute it wonderfully. Mercury contains beautiful melodies, broody vocals and catchy lyrics that make Longview accessible to all with this all-round gem.

BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB TAKE THEN ON, ON YOUR OWN Virgin After the successful self titled debut album BRMC release their second album Take Then On, On Your Own. The leather jacket wearers have oozes of style and rock with their drowning bass electrifying each track. First single off the album Stop, has it all rock n roll riffs tearing through the track with bags of attitude from beginning to end. Trade mark guitars and echo vocals are the essence of BRMC stamping their unrivalled style throughout the album. The energetic Six Barrel Shotgun carries on the vibe at a lashing pace with rapid vocals. The Black Rebel Motorcycle club have taken on the world and succeeded with their second album firmly cementing BRMC unequivocally relevant and necessary.

albums

11 September 2003

MUSIC
In this new feature, a classic album will be reviewed that has defined an era or has inspired and changed the way music is perceived and made, one such album is Roni Size Represent’s New Forms. Roni Size Represent New Forms | Talkin’ Loud

17

cla

september gigs

ssic

11th Har Mar Superstar - Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms 12th James Taylor Quartet - Mean Fiddler 14th The Rolling Stones - Wembley Arena 18th Ladytron - London Astoria th 19 Rancid - Brixton Carling Academy nd 22 Fun Lovin’ Criminals - Guilford Civic 23rd Big Brovaz - Carling Academy 25th 50 Cent - Wembley Arena 27th Cooper Temple Clause - Carling Academy 30th Mark Owen - Carling Academy

Music Editor Jon Allen gives his take on Robbie’s live performance at Knebworth in August
I doubt that many of you would have failed to notice that our Robbie was putting on some kind of a show this summer. For those of you fortunate enough to have avoided the hype, including ridiculous newspaper articles about how crap everything was, here’s a quick refresher: Somewhere close to 370,000 people crammed into Knebworth over 3 days to see Robbie Williams, supported each time by The Darkness, Kelly Osbourne, Ash and Moby. I left home at 7a.m. and arrived home at 5a.m. the following morning. I spent 7 and a half hours standing in a field facing in the same direction because there was no space to move, let alone sit down, all this resulting in a rather sunburnt left hand side of my face! Was it all worth it? Hell yes! Proceedings began at 3: 30p.m. when The Darkness strutted onto the stage. They played for a measly 25 minutes, 10 of which were spent jamming through Love On the Rocks With No Ice while the crowd attempted to copy Justin’s comedy falsetto. Not a patch on their triumphant display at our very own Union in May, but it still got the ball rolling. Next up was Kelly Osbourne, who can’t hold a note to save her life and sings songs about masturbating. Enough said. Ash righted Kelly’s wrongs by playing a greatest hits set, including the superb Kung Fu, and my personal favourite, A Life Less Ordinary. The latter was greeted by rapturous, errm, blank faces all around, although the crowd response was much better to Burn Baby Burn and Oh Yeah. Ash’s summery pop rock was followed by Moby’s melodic big-beat eclecticism. This was where most of the crowd started to take notice of the stage, stand out tracks including Honey and the truly awesome Bodyrock. Moby did indulge himself with what he described as his ‘masturbatory guitar solo’ and also stormed through his version of the Bond theme. Finally, at 8:30, the opening to Let Me Entertain You kicked up, and the video screens pulled apart to reveal Robbie suspended from the ceiling by his feet. The show was as varied as it gets, ranging from a rocked up version of Take That’s Back for Good, (featuring Mark Owen) to the section where Mr Williams magically transformed into a shite pub singer, backed by Max Beesley on piano. At points he did seem desperately in need of attention (“Sing me love, Knebworth” etc.) and was close to tears when listening to 125,000 people singing Strong back at him. He took the opportunity to make jibes at Oasis (strumming the first few chords of Wonderwall – “The only time you’ll hear this song on a third night at Knebworth”), Justin Timberlake, Ant and Dec amongst others. He grabbed a girl from the crowd and kissed her at length. He gyrated with his troupe of dancers. He showed the crowd his arse. Oh, and he sang a few more tunes. Kids rocked and Rock DJ was in a class of its own. Some of the Escapology album tracks were disappointing, but Robbie could do no wrong. Over the 2 hours, he proved that he is without a doubt Britain’s best showman. He certainly knows how to work a crowd, even of this immense size. Is this where he peaks? Only time will tell…
Robbie Williams: The so called King of Pop

Robbie Williamsat Knebworth Live

Want to be part of the Barefacts Music Team? For more details, email Matt at ms01mb@surrey.ac.uk, or just turn up to the meeting in the USSU Media Centre at 5.15pm on Mondays

Like a bullet from a gun this noise came from nowhere taking everyone by surprise. Released in 1997 New Forms tore through Brit pop rejuvenating the Drum and Base scene with its fresh and unique blend of insane beats and catchy loops that blew the critics away. The Guardian at the time said that “ New Forms is to it’s genre as Bob Marley and The Wailers ‘Catch A Fire’ was to Reggae 25 years ago”. With this praise and the culmination of Roni Size picking up the Mercury Music Prize for best album beating off Radiohead’s highly rated OK Computer album, Roni Size was on the up. Masterpiece Brown Paper Bag became a club hit with its unrivalled bass rhythms belted out at a supersonic pace. The lush Heroes sees the tempo drop to reveal the beautiful vocals of Onallee with trade mark beats kicking in taking it to another level. Delving deeper than the defining singles we find Destination (that’s no album filler) using sampled vocals and repeating beats are expertly crafted. New Forms has two key elements that separate it from the rest. It was highly innovative for its time and secondly was produced to near perfection incorporating imaginative beats and atmospheric vocals that were to change and progress the scene to new levels. m.b.

albu m

18

FESTIVALS SPECIAL

11 September 2003

Festivals: Glastonbury 2003
One half of Barefacts’ new Music Editorial Team, Matt Badcock visits Glastonbury Festival, and gives us his take on all the acts, including Electric 6, a surprisingly impressive David Gray and The Thrills.
Feeder

Friday
More than 120,000 people congregated on Michael Eavis’s sleepy Somerset farm for one of the world’s greatest festivals. Hailing an exciting line up that spans over nine stages for three days it cannot fail to offer something for everyone from Dance, Jazz and new talent to some of the world best bands. Glastonbury is unlike any other with a vibe, unrivalled spirit and atmosphere that makes it unique. The balance of top acts and diverse culture experienced culminated in this year’s event selling out in just over a day, boasting the best line up for years Glastonbury was treated to an action packed weekend. After sampling the delights of Har Mar Superstar’s (***) body pumping and flirtatious dancing the Manumission girls the Other stage was treated to Mercury Prize nominees Athlete (****). With their attractive rock pop they stamped some quality on the proceedings with excellent singles ‘El Salvador’ and ‘Westside’ off the delightful debut album ‘Vehicles & Animals’. The aptly named Other stage was the scene of pandemonium as Electric 6 (**) took the stage to perform a set carried by two singles ‘Danger High Voltage’ and the fabulous ‘Gay Bar’ which sent the fans wild. Next up were those Scottish likely lads Idlewild (***) once criticised, as an REM tribute band can stand tall after the acclaimed third album ‘The Remote Part’. Launching into ‘You Held The World In You’re Arms’ then ‘Wooden Ideas’ deserved a greater response than they received. The radio friendly David Gray (*****) loved by couples everywhere for his mushy ballads was the surprise of the festival as my prejudice was crushed by his luscious vocals creating an exquisite sound. The quality of ‘White
David Gray: radio friendly and talented

Ladder’ shone with the wonderful ‘Babylon’ and ‘Please Forgive Me’ showing David Gray is a real talent. Tonight’s headliner on the Pyramid stage can only be described as colossus, with over twenty years in the business and twelve albums under the belt the legendary R.E.M. (*****) hit the stage to a huge ovation. Stipe set out his intentions with great enthusiasm, with a greatest hits album out soon the hits kept rolling from ‘Losing My Religion’, ‘One I Love’, to the emotional ‘Everybody Hurts’. A world class set was performed with energy from a band who have nothing to prove but proved it all with Stipe’s trademark lively performance climaxing with the energetic ‘Its The End Of The World As We Know It’ greeted by a roar from the ecstatic crowd.

saturday
Saturday saw one of the hottest new bands from the shores of Ireland, The Thrills (****) with their Californian influenced style bringing out the sunshine to the anticipating Other Stage. With the exciting summery sounds from debut album, ‘So Much For The City’ performed in confident style gleaming singles ‘Big Sur’ and ‘Santa Cruz’ hit all the right Moby: in a space suit? notes. The Pyramid stage just about managed to accommodate the twenty-three members of the red robed Polyphonic Spree (****) unleashing their party vibe and over exuberant noise. The gospel choir element and stage presence have made the Spree a firm favourite with uncontrollable arm waving and cheerful tunes. As the sun drew in Glastonbury turned surreal with two giant sunshine’s perched on the front of the sage surrounded by an artillery of fur-clad animals. The arrival of the Flaming Lips (****) ensued a tyrant of giant balloons as the dynamic Wayne Coyne came to concur Glastonbury with his charisma and showmanship, and that he did. A potential headline acts themselves the Lip’s showcased the break through album ‘Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots’ with the excellent ‘Yoshimi Part 1’ going down a storm. An uncharacteristic smiling Tom Yorke peeps into the spotlight to a rapturous ovation from the eagerly awaiting masses. Showcasing latest album ‘Hail To The Thief’ Radiohead’s (*****) first single off this LP ‘There There’ marked their arrival. The electric ‘Idioteque’ blasted the pyramid stage into another galaxy while ‘No Surprises’ was quiet beautiful. OK computers

‘Karma Police’ illustrated Radiohead’s peak, seen at their last performance in 1997 but what we see before us is a more wiser experimental Radiohead and for this have to be admired. Knowing the ever-popular ‘Creep’ was not coming out to play the wonderful ‘Fade Out’ more than made up for its absence as the set came to a fitting close.

The final day (Sunday) saw the thrashing anthems of Feeder (****) bringing the flocks to the Pyramid stage on the back of the excellent ‘Comfort In Sound LP’. Feeder plough through hits ‘Just The Way I’m Feeling’ and ‘Buck Rodgers’ to the delight of the child-crowd surfers in what was an outstanding set. The weekends first trip into dance tent was motivated by the Roots (***) whose soul hip-hop bought a refreshing change showcasing superb single ‘Seed’. The baldhead maestro that is Moby (***) was more surprised than most that he took the traditionally ‘old legend’ Sunday night headline slot. Best known for No.1 album ‘Play’ tracks ‘Porcelain’ and ‘Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad’ make up the backbone of the night’s performance. Not that long ago Moby was playing raves and releasing house tracks some of which were incorporated, including club anthem ‘Go’. Bringing the festival to a close, cheeky Moby played the unwanted Radiohead track ‘Creep’ to the delighted crowd rounding off a weekend of fine weather and even better music.

sunday

11 September 2003

FESTIVALS SPECIAL

19

Andrew Malek heads to Reading 2003 for a weekend of Rock, Metal and The Darkness...
alien ant farm

An unprecedented one-hour queue for wristbands on Friday means that hundreds of 12 year olds in Bowling for Soup tshirts miss their heroes. Their parents take not having to endure the band’s music as consolation for having to pacify their kids for the remainder of the day until Linkin Park take to the stage. Less Than Jake (*** 1⁄2) look entertaining by comparison, despite not being a patch on the performance they delivered 4 years ago. Alien Ant Farm (****) provide an overflowing tent with their hilarious brand of pop rock, from ‘Movies’ through to ‘Smooth Criminal’, they have the crowd in the palm of their hands. Buck 65 (*****) is definitely on something, wide-eyed and paranoid, his head dashes around in confusion as a smoke machine behind him emits its fog, the dance stage won’t see a better act all weekend which is more than can be said about Staind (*). “Give me a D” – “D!” “Give me an Arkness” – “ARKNESS!”. It’s band of the moment, The Darkness (*****). Mixing AC/DC riffage and Queen harmonies, it’s hard to believe that they’ve only sprung from obscurity a month ago. Blackalicious (*****) certainly impress, with their old-skool beats coupled with lighting fast rhymes. ‘Chemical Calisthenics’ is a science geek hip-hop fan’s paradise, whilst ‘Make You Feel That Way’ chills out the dance stage as the sunsets. Unfunny and disappointing, Blink 182 (**) have a nice stage show, but unfortunately not the tunes to back it up. They forget that their back

hardcore seems to be the flavour of the moment with Funeral for a Friend (****) veterans King Prawn (**** 1⁄2), Thrice (****) and Poison the Well (****) impressing the hardcore moshers. The Movielife (***) are disappointing, though ‘This Time Next Year’ is a definite highlight of the day while The Streets (**) were a surprise hit last year, but fail to make the transition from the dance tent to the main stage. The songs sound dull and lifeless, Skinner’s portrayal of urban life faded and boring, and his obsession with starting a “crazy mosh” bizarre. The biggest disappointment of the day is Lagwagon (****) not because of the band,

Reading Festival 2003

catalogue pre-dates ‘Enema of the State’, ignoring all but ‘Dammit’ from their genre defining album ‘Dude Ranch’. Unfunny and disappointing are not words that one would use to describe Sparta (*** 1⁄2) though… Well, maybe unfunny, but they pack a serious punch, picking up where At the Drive In left off. Linkin Park (*) end the evening, and get one star for the amusement of seeing people respond to their request for “hardcore Linkin Park fans” to go crazy. Six years ago it was pop punk. Then it was ska. Then emo. Now

but because of the crowd. These Fat Wreck superstars seem to have been forgotten about by the trendfollowing audience who inhabited the stage throughout the day, and the fact that their sing along parts are met with a deafening silence are testament to that. Closing the stage, Pennywise (*****) cannot fail, even though they are competing with AFI (**) over on the Radio One stage. Even the cheesiness of thousands of kids in baggy shorts and t shirts screaming “Screw the perfect people, fuck, they all look the same” cannot detract from the

metallica - for many the highlight of reading 2003

awesome power of anthemic closer ‘Bro Hymn’, which is sung all the way back to the campsites. Derby punks Lightyear must be commended for attempting to hold the first show of their break-up tour in a gazebo in their campsite after midnight, even if it did only last mid way through second song ‘Kid Dynamite’ before being broken up by security. It seemed that Sunday was the day for such randomness, as hundreds of festivalgoers descended upon the doughnut van of a vendor who looks like pro wrestler Hulk Hogan to worship him (see http: //www.readinghogan.cjb.net/ for more

details). Earlier in the day, the main stage opened with Sugarcult (***) bringing pop punk goodness to a hung-over congregation of early birds. Biffy Clyro (**) will be remembered as the band who turned their bass up so loud that it amplified all of our headaches, though in comparison to the All American Rejects (No *s) they are godlike. Unfortunately, the crowd doesn’t care enough about AAR to bestow upon them the same fantastic bottling that Good Charlotte (*) received. Perhaps the organisers will take this as a message and decide NOT to book Busted next year. Hell is for Heroes (***) are an above average band on a line-up that has so far yielded very little, and whilst they are extremely tight, their stage presence detracts from their overall performance. Surprisingly, the Radio One stage is relatively empty for Hot Hot Heat (***), and as soon as they play ‘No, Not Now’, a steady procession of the audience heads for the exit. System of a Down (****) are fantastic, playing a smattering of tunes from each of their albums to leave nobody disappointed. There can only ever be one band of the weekend, and that is Metallica (*****). Bar SOAD, the line-up for Sunday had been rather dire, one wonders if this was intentional. For two and a half hours the band belt out epic after epic, culminating in possibly the best ever effort of bringing studio effects to a live stage with ‘One’, and the inevitable ‘Enter Sandman’ signalling the end of Reading 2003.
Hell is for Heroes

20

INTERACTIVE

11 September 2003

Word Search
This year barefacts is proud to announce the return of the wordsearch to the Interactive Page. It’s pretty simple really - all you need to do is see which words you can find hidden in the grid below. Answers (still upside down) on the opposite page. This week’s wordsearch appears with thanks to Ben Berryman and Anthony ‘Deano’ Dean.

1

pub bf quiz
In Cricket, what does the B stand for in LBW?

What does VHS stand for?

Clue :- It’s a bit cheesy....

F E K G Q B H M E J V F P B M

X T Y O S R G M B G Y T F J D

R T K F N I M E J Y F K W O B

B A Q D H E G G W D R W F G K

A L O Z N O G R O G U R N G O

C E A T U P V E K N U A M J F

A C A D A U F B H I S D J H V

E L A D Y E L S N E W D G F J

R O Q P T K N L M Z Q E S G W

P D C A I U I R E G O H T Z V

H M Q Q B F A A T T O C I R L

I P F S A P U J N H Z A L U G

L I C O Z S N G P H A U T X H

L F X U G Q T E C P U T O S K

Y Z P X Y M Y S X B Z R N A K

3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 14 15 16 17 19

2

Which cartoon character exclaimed, “Drat and double drat”?

Which two New York boroughs begin with B? In which country were the 1990 football world cup finals held?

Which island has Needles off its west coast? What are the main two ingredients of a Bloody Mary? The Gobi desert is in which continent?

Who uncrossed their legs to much ado in “Basic Instinct”? Which Devon port has a famous Hoe?

11 12 13

What is the viral disease of rabbits?

How many players are there in a netball team?

Which “ology” is concerned with fossils?

Who or what lived in Honalee? Apart from skiing, which two sports take place on a piste?

And now for something completely different....
All you have to do here is unscramble each of the words, then take the letters which appear in the boxes looking like this ... and rearrange them to make a final word!

What can be the name of a hat and a member of a cricket team? What boat is found on the canals of Venice?

18 20

Where Where do Greek Gods live?

Which Which Russian city used to be called Leningrad?

COTRTAR PEAH NEDDIWG NAOBJ

TOESOCR BODULE NLFIG RPTENSE

What was Mozart’s middle name?

Answers to the bf pub quiz, and everything else in the Interactive section, are on page 21, cunningly hidden upside down at the bottom of the page... If this has whetted your appetite, then why not pop down to Channie’s for Chancellor’s Challenge, every Thursday night from 8.30pm. We’ve got rounds on everything from Sport to Geography, and it’s a snip at only £1 per person. The winning teams can walk off with up to £100, but remember - it’s not the winning, it’s the taking part that counts!

answer:

11 September 2003

LIFESTYLE

21

The Lyrics Quiz
Sabbatical Officers Ickle Sarah and Funkyberry give a random slice of life from their humble dwellings within Surrey Court Wey, Battersea Court Tate, and the Students’ Union... IT MAY COME as a bit or surprise to some of you who were around last year that Rawson’s Creek is still here, but your eyes are not deceiving you - Chris and I are still here, heading into our 5th year at UniS, and still hanging around on campus to bring you the best, and the worst tales of University life. THE summer really began with the end of an era - our departure from Battersea Court Rawson, coinciding with its refurbishment. Alas, the lack of hot water, Legionairre’s Disease episodes and ants are no more. Or so I thought. At the end of May I headed across campus with my 5 car-loads of belongings, to Surrey Court Bourne, but to my horror, discovered none other than Pharaoh’s Ants crawling around my room! The theory of Brian at Reception was that I’d taken than with me, but I’m going to subscribe to the theory that I’m just very unlucky. THIS summer has been an odd one, not least because I only had one week of summer holiday before heading over to the Union and joining the ranks of the Sabbatical Officers. It’s been one crazy journey, I’ve met a lot of very cool people, and travelled around the country to the likes of Loughborough, Chichester and London. Whilst up at NUS Convention in Loughborough our very own President Pete teamed up with Adam and Chris, two sabbs from Roehampton (our federal partner), and during one rather surreal, yet sober night out, proceeded to ‘initiate everyone into the federation’. This involved a rather complicated process when they surrounded someone, spun them round and then did the ‘federal salute’! The boys were quite proud of themselves, until the next day when it turned out everyone who had been supposedly ‘initiated’ thought they were completely trolleyed and just messing around, when all they’d been trying to do was be good, well behaved sabbaticals and tell people about the Federal Uni! SO, back to campus. I moved out of my summer accommodation to Wey in Surrey Court a week ago, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the ants haven’t followed me again! After three days being the only person on my new 14 room floor, over the weekend I was invaded (in the nicest possible way) by around 9 foundation year students. Hopefully I’ll have finished designing this ‘ere paper soon, so I can actually head home and meet them properly ... pre-Union drinks round at Wey 1, guys?! BEING ON CAMPUS over the summer is an interesting experience, for this is when whole buildings are consumed by scaffolding and surrounded by endless metal barriers. Among this summer’s victims were the library entrance, AC building, and our dear Battersea Court Rawson (after which this column is named). THINGS always go really well at the start, and within a few days the buildings are reduced to architectural skeletons – their guts having been ripped out and taken away in oversized skips. There is then a middle phase where nothing seems to happen for a good number of weeks. During this time workman seem to walk around pointing at things, sit drinking cups of tea, and the odd banging noise can be heard. But of the three stages, the final stage is always the best. As just about when you think that the building will never be finished before the start of term, the workmen spring to life, and within a few days you have a proper building again! Well that’s meant to happen anyway! HAVING started working in an office I can now get water from one of those chiller machines. So “great” I think to myself, “I’ll drink lots of this nice water to become healthy”. But what is the result of drinking all this water? The result is that the number of toilet visits during the day has increased exponentially, thus my drive to become healthy is actually having a detrimental effect on my work. So I have come to the conclusion that healthy people are inefficient office workers! AS with all office jobs, you tend to find yourself in a number of meetings, which means I need to keep myself amused somehow. An easy thing to do is to create mini works of art. The aim is to put your pen on the page of your notepad, then move it around the page, getting in as much of a tangle as you can, without the pen lifting off the page or crossing what you’ve already drawn. WHILE this is completely harmless, I have discovered that trying to eat a pink grapefruit is probably not something one should do in a meeting. For a start you need multiple plates for the peel, you have nowhere to spit the pips, the slurping noises are distracting for other people, and trying to draw mini works of art with sticky dripping hands is difficult! I’ll just stick to eating pens instead! Back again due to popular demand is the barefacts lyrics quiz, which, all going to plan, will be written each week by you, the readers. This week’s offering is by barefacts’ resident Interactive Section guru, Ben Berryman, ably assisted by Anthony ‘Deano’ Dean. If puzzles are your kind of thing, and you think you can write next week’s lyrics quiz, then drop an email to barefacts@ussu.co.uk and before you know it - you will be a published writer! Just figure out the artist and song name that these lyrics are taken from - answers below...

I’ve discovered that trying to eat a pink grapefruit is probably not something one should do in a meeting.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Now tell me, do ya, do ya have any money? Let’s go and see the stars, the Milky Way or even Mars. Wherever it may take me I know that life won’t break me. I only know what I’ve been working for, another you, so I could love you more. You’re my love, you’re my sweetest thing. When the party was nice, the party was jumpin’ (hey, yippie, yi, yo). It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. I’ve been wrong, I’ve been down, to the bottom of every bottle. Can we work it out? Can we be a family? Last night Jackie Chan came round, I played pool with him and we hung out.

This week I am mostly … crossing my fingers and toes, hoping this gets published in
barefacts! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED my own column, though I’m pushed to explain why. It’s not like I have a burning message, or indeed any words of wisdom to share with the world at large. I haven’t cracked the meaning of life, or the meaning of anything philosophical come to think of it. Neither am I too hot on incisive political commentary nor social irony. Perhaps it’s too much Sex and the City… get a column, a life of gallery openings, shoe shopping and girly lunches will swiftly follow. Disillusioned? Never! Guys, there’s no need for eye-rolling, breathe a sigh of relief, I’m certainly not spilling my views on male behaviour (sorry girls, I’m afraid enlightenment eludes me there as well…). BUT I’M HERE at last, able to promise only a random assortment of thoughts and opinions that cross my addled final-year mind over the next two semesters. So let me introduce myself a little. I’m definitely one of God’s more quirky creations, harbouring unhealthy obsessions with fairy lights, coconut-scented toiletries and lurid nail varnish alongside pathological fears of frozen reconstituted potato shapes, forward-facing train seats and bright blue alcoholic drinks. I’ve been called a freak in my time, but I’ll compromise with fruitcake. AS FOR ANGELIC… hmm… slightly more tricky perhaps. Faced with another academic year, I’m sure I’m not the only student returning after the break resolved to work harder, to set themselves new challenges and to at least try and acknowledge their alcoholic limits. So, full of good intentions as I always am in September, here goes. Good luck everyone, who knows what the year has in store for us? Catherine Lee
Upside down answers: wordsearch: brie, caerphilly, cheddar, dolcelatte, emmental, feta, goats, gorgonzola, gouda, jarlsberg, parmesan, ricotta, stilton, wensleydale. scramble: tractor, heap, wedding, banjo, scooter, double fling, present. final answer is, somewhat predictably, barefacts. bf pub quiz: 1. Video Home System 2. Before 3. Dick Dastardly 4. Bronx, Brooklyn 5. Italy 6. Isle of Wight 7. Vodka & Tomato juice 8. Asia 9. Sharon Stone 10. Plymouth 11. Myxamatosis 12. Seven 13. Palaeontology 14. Puff the magic Dragon 15. Snowboarding and fencing 16. Bowler 17. Gondola 18. Mount Olympus 19. St Petersberg 20. Amadeus lyrics quiz: 1. Electric Six - Gay Bar 2. Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away 3. Robbie Williams - Angels 4. Cardigans - My Favourite Game 5. Gina G - Ooh Aah...Just a Little Bit 6. Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out 7. Alanis Morissette - Ironic 8. Nickelback - How You Remind Me 9. Pink - Family Portrait 10. Ash - Kung Fu

‘ickle sarah butterworth

chris ‘funkyberry’ hunter

22

LIFESTYLE

11 September 2003

Trivial Pursuits
Is Catherine Lee the only person in the history of student-dom to reach the age of 21 without tasting a fizzy drink? And does this hold some hidden message about her development during her formative, impressionable coca cola-free years?
UNIVERSITY HAS NEVER been about simply getting a degree. Without wishing to sound too corny, it is also undoubtedly a journey in personal, moral and social development. “Competition for graduate jobs has never been more fierce” scream the newspapers, and like most students I’m more than aware a good degree is no longer security enough in the fickle working world. The fourteen-week summer break is an ideal time to gain work experience or indulge in some character-building travel. Indeed, the media bombard us with students’ stories of unusual summer experiences at this time of year. Three months spent zoo-keeping in Bolivia or campaigning for women’s rights in Guatemala will guarantee any student future employment, they imply - how else can employers be certain a graduate is a wellrounded individual, more than just a piece of paper? Such adventurous tales certainly put my summer experience - working in the accounts department of a national supermarket chain - to shame. But why should these stories make me green with envy, make me kick myself that I had neither the courage nor the initiative to undertake any challenge greater than clearing my mounting overdraft? Surely all the little lessons university teaches us along the way play just as important a role in the graduating package. Take for example a moment of enlightenment I had last semester. What began as an innocent evening of videowatching and munchies with a group of close friends, soon became a much more serious affair, with longlasting implications not one of us could have foreseen. An innocent, frivolous remark on my part was all it took to turn the atmosphere from relaxed and comfortable to awkward and tense. The nature of this remark? That I’d never tried Irn Bru. Cut the amicable chatter; a stony silence descended on the whole group. Unable to meet their fixed stares, I could feel the colour rising in my cheeks. Somehow I’d committed a heinous social faux-pas. After what seemed an eternity, the questions came thick and fast, a torrent of hows, whys, wheres and whens. Knowing glances were exchanged as my (what I now realise to be) pretty much additive-free childhood came under hefty scrutiny. Fifteen minutes was all it took to confirm their worst suspicions - I was a complete fizzy drink novice, familiar only with the tastes of lemonade and coke. But it seems the blame for my fizzy drink ignorance could not solely fall on my parents’ shoulders. True, I was denied exposure to such sugary delights at home, but somehow any curiosity that should have accompanied my adolescent years completely bypassed me. Which made me, quite frankly, odd, and most certainly not the welladjusted twentysomething adult my friends had previously considered me to be. With a new semester now underway, I think I’ve pretty much sampled everything the fizzy drink world has to offer. It hasn’t always been easy but I think my friends would agree, I’m a stronger, more-rounded [not to mention more sugar-dependent] individual as a result. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger after all. For the record, dandelion and burdock, Irn Bru and Tizer proved a disappointment. Frightening artificial colours aside, my unsuspecting taste buds found themselves reeling from their overpowering cough-medicinelike flavours. Cream soda was way too sickly, though I was pleasantly surprised the more subtle vanilla coke. Dr. Pepper was like liquid Refreshers, a tad too sugary, but Cherry coke was a definite hit, and probably one of the few I tested that I’ll choose to drink again in the future. But enough of my personal fizzy drink odyssey. My message is simple: don’t overlook the details. However trivial something may seem, the fact that you’re even thinking about it probably means it’s not nearly so frivolous as you first imagined. So go on, make this year another year to remember and start clocking up those little extra experiences that will make you stand out as an individual at the end of your student life. As for me, further quizzing by friends has revealed fizzy drinks are only the start. So if you see me loitering in the crisp aisle at the supermarket, or dithering in the chocolate bar section in One Stop, please cut me some slack. It’s all in the name of personal, not to mention social, development.

Fabric Club opened nearly 4 years ago in London EC1. Its 3 floors are home to a range of underground electronic music and it attracts people from across the UK and Europe each weekend. Fridays are Fabriclive, a weekly exploration around the cutting edges of club music known for open-minded playlists, electric live performance and as a home to the UKs thriving drum n bass scene. Fabriclive residents James Lavelle, Ali B and Joe Ransom are joined regularly by guests the Plump DJs, Scratch Perverts, Aim and Adam Freeland. FABRICLIVE hosts monthly specials from UNKLE, the Stanton Warriors, Scratch and True Playaz. Saturdays are Fabric, a showcase for underground DJ talent and accomplished live acts. Operating around house and techno, its playlists are dedicated to fresh, new beats and are appreciated by a music-loving audience. Residents at fabric are Craig Richards and Terry Francis who are joined by Hipp-E & Halo, DJ Heather, Jon Marsh, Bill Brewster, Swayzak, Slam, Pure Science and Tom Middleton. Fabric has regular nights from Wiggle, Haywire Sessions, the Amalgamation Of Soundz and Tyrant. Fabric is offering one lucky barefacts reader a season ticket for their ‘Plump DJs’ Fabriclive and ‘Tyrant’ Fabric nights which will be valid from one year after their 4th Birthday in October until 5th October 2004. All you need to do to be in with a chance is answer the following question: What birthday is fabric celebrating in October 2003? a. 3rd, b. 4th or c. 5th Email your answers to barefacts@ussu.co.uk by Monday 15th September 2003 and keep an eye out in the next barefacts to see if you’re a winner!

11 September 2003

STARS

AND

PERSONALS

23

Stars
the
Virgo You could well be developing an irrational fear of irons, whilst starting to feel some sort of strange attraction to the lady at the launderette. Your phobia will get in the way of your relationship, and you will avoid the launderette for a couple of months with a broken heart and smelly underwear. Libra Doing acrobatics in the amphitheatre is not the best way to while away those spare hours between lectures. The big chiefs of the Uni are watching from their offices. Scorpio Your housemates are beginning to get suspicious. If you don’t stop walking around with an inane grin on your face, they really won’t believe you when you tell them you’re ‘just friends’ with your course mate for the millionth time. Sagittarius Never mind, the week’s almost over. Make sure you’re in the Union on Friday as it’ll be an amazing night to cheer you up. The bottle bank is the place to be – and the person behind the bar has a twinkle in their eye. Capricorn Keep an eye out for that dishy person at the Union. The stars predict that you will have a lucky night with an Aquarian this week. Destiny says keep away from strong mixers and alcohol (well, so does common sense, you’re not going to pull with puke dripping down your face!). Aquarius You’re going to have an unfortunate drunken romp with a Capricorn. Try your best to keep away from anyone who studies physics or electronics whilst drinking alcohol. If that fails, using a false

silly

- Personals It’s very simple, really. All you need to do is wait for your friends (or yourself) to do something silly, amusing or just downright strange, and then find yourself a computer or indeed a scrap of paper if technology isn’t your thing). barefacts@ussu.co.uk is the email address, ‘Personals’ is the email subject, and then all you need to do is sit back and wait for the next issue of barefacts, and the look of horror on your friends’ faces...

by ickle sarah and crazy chris
name is best, unless you want be about as popular on campus as Judas Iscariot at a Disciple reunion. Pisces You slippery fish you! This week sees you getting away with all sorts of shenanigans. Try not to be too bad though, or somebody will give you a slap on the wrist. Here’s a hint – “staff coffee machine” and “crushed pro-plus tablets” should not go in the same sentence. Aries On Thursday, you will have an interesting incident with a grapefruit in Tesco. You might want to shop at Sainsbury’s from now on. Taurus Remember, the walls of shower rooms are thin. You’ve started talking to yourself again and everyone thinks you’re not alone in there. Leave the door open next time, and maybe they’ll believe you Gemini People are starting to be suspicious. The affair with you and the lecturer you have on Monday mornings is going to be found out!! Blaming it on your twin may work in the short term, but may not be a permanent solution. Cancer Avoid that first double lecture as your professor is cottoning on to your little secret. Hanging around by the lake is starting to make people suspicious. Leave the ducks alone, they haven’t done anything to you... have they? Leo This really is going to be a great week for you. Lectures are going well, Life is going well - just stay happy! After a mysterious phone call on Saturday you’ll be walking around with a swing in your step – just make sure you mind the gap.

Come and see Silhouette perform songs from West End Shows in aid of the Handicapped Children’s Pilgrimmage Trust (HCPT) www.uk.geocities.com/ silhouette_ymt - concerts throughout sept in local area “jesus... give me credit.... i may have been drunk.... but i still have taste” The Dream Team are here. But what about the ‘mind control badges’? Oi! Beverly..... wahat kinda c**k uses a steering wheel lock? what kinda t**t wears a neckline like that? and what kinda p***k ties demin at the d**k? Scooter is sexy. Final year? I remember moving in and getting drunk in my first year...the only thing that’s changed is that now i’m older! Monday 5.00pm - An appointment has been made for you to see the doctor about your gas problem, Pan-ous. A big shout out to the Wey 1 foundation (and sabbatical) year massif! I’ve seen the big wide world, please don’t make me go back there! Bring Back Torquay. S xx Caravan, Slag Heap, Electricity Producing Windmill, Golf. I’m so glad i’ve found someone to perch on. Missing you loads, love Betty xxx Bring back FNOS..... come to think of it, bring back Foam Parties too - back to the good old days! “Aaah, you’re talking about me in in the stars”“Are you a capricorn then?””no, i’m a dishy bloke!” Welcome to the Univeristy of Surrey. Maybe Andy needs a spell checker for his birthday? Here I come channies, Tuesday Night Super Shift....................................love it! Go to Bojanglez and buy 2 Phil Brown

cocktails, get a free scoop of puke to take home! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! X Want to be the person who designs this page (and others)? barefacts@ussu.co.uk GU2...training in ALL aspects of radio for EVERYONE! You can’t polish a turd! Who makes a noise like a dolphin when they orgasm? You can call me MR SQUIGGLES! Pikeys 0 - Chops 1 Oi Pete! Clear our cupboard out! THEY’RE SLIPPERS! Ugle - one year ago? Crazy stuff. You know you’re in the wrong movie theater when you’re watching a trailer for Spy Kids 3.... Who could that be, lying on the stairs in a pool of his own vomit? Why; it’s Phil Brown on GU2! Switch on the interogation light baby, and punish me! xXx Ickle Sarah & Crazy Chris. Anyone would think they were having...... You must fish, or be fished. Mike ‘The Pike’ Fisher 1999 Looks like the C Man has got a secret admirer, betty the bird!! Now who is a proper pirate!! Pieces of 8! The Union’s First Lady is Get-Up! Spank me, I’m a Freshers’ Angel Thanks for Friday Night - it was good getting to know your phone better! ;) Tom, Dick, Julie and Harry Are as happy as larry As long as stupid people Don’t throw them out the car I want to be Mr Potatohead so I can store things up my arse.

24

SPORT

11 September 2003

teamsurrey

Challenge Chops: Gliding
In a barefacts exclusive new feature, Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman, USSU’s new Vice President Sport spends an afternoon experiencing the thrill of unpowered flight with the Gliding Club
As with a number of my Challenges, my gliding experience came around in conjunction with a check-up on the clubs safety procedures. At least a small amount of danger is inherent to all sports, especially so for a sport such as gliding. Fortunately for those wanting to take to the skies in what can be thought of as an aircraft without an engine, you are not expected to have anything to do with take off or landing. All beginners go up in a 2 person glider with an experienced instructor sat behind them. James and David (the club committee members accompanying me) introduced me to my instructor, who in turn, introduced me to a parachute. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was pleased or disturbed to be strapped into a parachute. On the one hand, if you do have a problem its nice to have a parachute, but on the other hand, it might indicate that there is serious risk of having a problem and needing to use a parachute. I was reassured that the later was not the case. I clambered into the front cockpit of the glider and was talked through the controls. To steer, you essentially have two controls, a control column (flight stick) and a pair of rudder pedals. Obviously for takeoff, I kept clear of all the controls. The instructor has a complete set of identical controls and instruments in the back and could have done all the flying if I’d wished. There are a couple of methods for getting a glider airborne. Either by towing it up Essentially by using both control systems, you can turn a glider more efficiently. The controls work on exactly the same principles as other aircraft - from fighter jets to airliners - and hence gliding is a very good way to start training for all sorts of flying. After quite a while practising turning, my instructor took control and brought us in for the landing. The big difference with the landing of a glider compared to landing in an airplane is the visibility. You are not peering out of a small window, you have full view of everything infront and to both sides of you. This made the descent and landing a great experience. We are fortunate enough to have our very own high performance glass fibre 2 seat glider (currently undergoing routine maintenance) and a range of other gliders students can hire. Members of the gliding club can fly any day of the week (weather permitted) and the club will be making regular trips to local gliding centers over the coming weekends to provide beginners with ‘trial flights’. The cost for a first ‘trial flight’ via an Aero-tow launch is approx £35 (for the daring, a winch launch is much cheaper but doesn’t get you as high) with prices falling substantially for full members. More information about the club can be found at www.TakeMeGliding.net - and new members are very welcome.

New Sports

Clubs at

USSU

: :

behind an airplane (very gentle) or by dragging it up with what is essentially a huge winch powered by a very powerful exFormula 1 engine. The theory here is your glider is attached to a winch which pulls you along very quickly and as you move along the wings of the glider produce lift and you rise up. The aero-tow launch is usually used for student’s first few flights, but I decided to go for the winch launch. As expected, the 700hp engine gaves a very quick launch and after a very short initial climb, you start to climb incredibly steeply. The net result of this is you get pushed very firmly back and down into your seat. The 0-60mph time is about 3 seconds. (Yes - three seconds. Try that in a car!) and I was at 1’000 feet in less than a minute. I had been warned that the winch launch is a quite unfamiliar sensation for people who hadn’t done a few aerotows first - this included stories about how a small number of people squeal on the way up. I’m glad to say I really enjoyed it! Once we reached the top of the launch. the instructor released the winch cable with a bit

of a ‘bang’ and we were flying! The view from over 2000 feet above the ground is stunning. Not surprisingly, you can see for miles and the fact you are sat at the front the cockpit means you have perfect visibility. After a short time in the air, my instructor talked me though how to handle the control column. Quite simply if you move it to the right, the right wing dips down and you start moving to the right. I had previously imagined a glider to be a slow, unresponsive aircraft but in fact the rate of turning was surprisingly fast and accurate. I then took control of the glider. After a short time getting the glider to fly at the right angle, I had a go at turning. With a little initial hesitation about dipping the wings to the full angle, I got the glider turning to the right. After a few more turns to either side, my instructor took back control and went in search of some thermals of rising air to prolong our flight time. After finding some lift, I was introduced to the very tricky skill of coordinating the control column and the rudder pedals.

If you want to take part in a sport the Union doesn’t currently offer, then let us know. We only support clubs we know there is a student demand for, so if we don’t know that you want to do something else, we can’t help. There has been recent interest in Table Tennis so we are trying to get a Table Tennis club started up. Due to enquiries, we are also trying to get Athletics, Tennis, Mountain Biking, Swimming and Windsurfing running again after a period of dormancy. If you want to help run a new or revived club, get in touch with the Sports Office. Some suggestions are Athletics, Cycling, Hang-gliding, Lacrosse, Orienteering, Swimming, Tennis, Volleyball, Wakeboarding and Windsurfing but its entirely up to you about what you like the look of. sports@surrey.ac.uk

Think your sport is physically or mentally demanding or simply different from all the rest? Then why not Challenge Chops to take part in your sport and show exactly what is involved. sports@ussu.co.uk