Issue 1083 22 10 04

In this fortnight’s edition... news of USSU’s plans to research universities down under | how to make Union Council work for you | what it’s really like to join an American frat | HRH in Guildford

contents
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The Chancellor comes to campus Julie Wall summarizes the national news
Wondering what the President does all day?

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editorial
I’ve been feeling fairly festive this week. It happened around this time last year as well. Maybe it’s the subliminal effects of ever-increasing commercialisation (did you know Harrods opened its Santas Grotto back in August, Tescos have had mince pies in stock for months, and money has already been bet on the Christmas No.1??), or maybe it’s just that there are less daylight hours and, like everyone else in Britain, I could really do with a holiday. Halfway through semester and though Reading Weeks may provide a welcome break for some, it may well seem the worst is still to come. The honeymoon period that was September is over, and workload and fatigue are well and truly kicking in. This fortnight, barefacts aims to bring a little sunshine into your life with stories of student life in Australia and the USA. OK, so it’s unfortunate we can’t fly you out there too but that’s not to say there aren’t things we can help you change to make life here in (decidedly unsunny) Surrey a little easier. Check out the guide to writing Council motions (to change how the Union currently operates), the lowdown on the effects of alcohol can have on your general wellbeing, and the ways in which you can enhance your CV through getting involved in the DAVE project. Hopefully this’ll tide you over for a bit (well, for at least some of the 63 days until Christmas anyhow...) Mince pie anyone?

A dummy’s guide to writing a motion for Council

11 Do the Aussies hold the key to student representation? 13 Life in an American fraternity for a UK student 17 What affect is alcohol having on your health? 20 What is Fairtrade all about? 23 Film gets ready for a mini festival here in Guildford 27 Literature reviews books you might not actually want to
read after all

30 GU2 your pull-out-and-keep weekly schedule 33 Careers advice for the confused 34 Alumni The annual Telephone Campaign is launched 35 Sport Work up a sweat with a whole extra page
dedicated to Surrey sporting action

the barefacts team
Editor-in-chief: Catherine Lee Editor: Neil Christie Deputy Editor: Nicole Heel News Editor: position vacant Sports Editor: Pete Nichols Music Editors: Jon Allen and Dina Mystris Film Editor: Neil Boulton Literature Editor: Arvind Virdee GU2 Press Officer: Jay Butcher Contributors: Hash Alsaidi, Rachel Appleyard, Amy Brown, Dan Brown, Jenna Cairney, Paul Canning, Sam Carney, James Charnings, Russ Clark, Matthew Conacher, Jon Darzi, Sarah Davies, Corin Douieb, Chris Driscoll, Scott Farmer, David Glossop, Beth Heale Duncan Hills, Piers Karsenbarg, James Newell, Ewan Panter, Simon Pearson, Simon Peasley, Amy Price, Anna Shaw, Stavros Sachinis, Ben Supper, Nathan Whitaker, Julie Wall, Peter Wigfield
Same pic as last edition I know - editorial team be warned, I’ll be tracking you down with a camera again soon!

Catherine

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news

barefacts@ussu.co.uk
BOROUGH COUNCIL FIGHTS TO SAVE GREEN BELT FROM HOUSING
The decision on whether or not to build on an area of green belt land in north east Guildford came a step closer on Tuesday when Surrey County Council’s Executive met to consider the borough council’s opposition to its plans for the new homes. Leader of Guildford Borough Council, Cllr Andrew Hodges, says: “We are extremely confident that we can meet our target of building 4750 new homes in the borough by 2016, without Surrey County Council’s proposals to include the green belt land on the north eastern side of the town. He continues, “We are again calling for these proposals to be deleted from the County Council’s Surrey Structure Plan. It is unreasonable that Guildford should be expected to maintain this site when we have clearly proved we can meet the target without building on our precious green field land and without overdeveloping our urban areas”. Exact details of the meeting were unfortunately unavailable at the time barefacts went to print.

22 10 04

ROYALTY IN TOWN
Last Thursday (14th October), HRH the Duke of Kent, Chancellor of the University of Surrey came to Guildford, and chatted to staff and students about life here on campus. He was received by Patrick Dowling, Vice-Chancellor, at Surrey Research Park, and visited the site of the postgraduate Medical School, currently under construction, before being chauffeured to the Students’ Union. The Duke showed a keen interest in all the services offered by the Students’ Union, and was awarded a lifetime Union membership by the Sabbatical team in a small ceremony held in Chancellors Restaurant. He went on to visit the PATS Studios and International House before dining in Lakeside Restaurant. To find out ten interesting facts about HRH the Duke of Kent, turn to page 16.

COMING SOON.. THE RUBIX QUESTIONNAIRE your chance to get your views heard, and win free entry for a year. Keep checking www.ussu.co.uk and barefacts for further details PRODIGY STAR ASSAULTS STUDENTS
Keith Flint, formerly of The Prodigy, and two of his colleagues from new band Clever Brains Fryin’ allegedly assaulted a student during their act at Imperial College, before coming to Rubix, because the student was dancing ‘the Macarena’ in front of the stage, which clearly was taken as a provoking gesture. A friend of the student stepped in, but was also assaulted. The two students were then forcibly removed from the venue by the personal bodyguards of Flint and his band. According to a senior source at Imperial, the police were ready to make charges for actual bodily harm at the scene of the crime. However, the student has decided not to press charges against the band.
words: neil christie, editor

WATES HOUSE GETS BIGGER BAR
In the next three or four weeks, the bar at Wates House is going to be extended to include seating for an extra fifty people. If you are a postgraduate or a member of staff go along and unwind with a pint of beer or a coffee.

FIRE SAFETY PRANKSTERS
There have been several incidents already this semester, of students or their guests setting off false alarms or discharging fire extinguishers in halls of residence. There have been five incidents of break glass points being broken maliciously setting off an alarm which causes evacuation of residents (in University, Battersea, Surrey, Guildford and Twyford Courts). This has caused inconvenience to residents, who have to evacuate, and causes Security staff to be diverted from important security work to deal with false alarms. False alarms can lead to residents becoming complacent about evacuations. So far this semester four fire extinguishers have been taken from buildings and discharged. In one building a smoke detector was dismantled by residents. During the same period there have been four small kitchen fires. In all these cases the fire detection systems and procedures worked correctly - imagine what would have happened if the smoke detector or extinguisher in these areas was not working properly. Student residences are at risk from fire and the University takes the safety of residents very seriously, organising fire practices for all residents during the first weeks of the semester. The fire systems and equipment are checked regularly. Students should not tolerate a small minority of residents who think it is ok to meddle with the equipment and systems provided for everyone’s safety. Tampering with anything that is provided for safety, from an extinguisher to a fire alarm break glass, is also a criminal offence. Overall the response from students to the fire practices have been good and all residents will have the opportunity to partake in a practice over the next few weeks.
words: richard paxton, head of accommodation

LITERARY STARS FLOCK TO SURREY
Guildford’s annual book festival was launched last Sunday (17th October). The festival lasts two weeks and includes appearances from a number of celebrity authors, jazz musicians and comedians. Famous cricketer Nassar Hussain visited Ottaker’s on Tuesday to sign copies of his new autobiography, and was later interviewed by radio presenter Anthony Gamble for broadcast on GU2 1350AM. That same evening, William Hague, former leader of the Conservative party, gave a lecture in the School of Management, introducing his recent biography of William Pitt, the youngest ever Prime Minister, coming into office in 1783 at just 24 years of age. Forthcoming highlights include Denys Baptise in concert at the Electric Theatre on Sunday (24th) as well as appearances from Sandi Toksvig, Michael Buerk, Michael Winner and Rory Bremner, to name but a few. There are also a number of writing workshops, and a week of Roald Dahlthemed activities based in Guildford Library. For further details, visit the official website at www.guildfordbookfest ival.co.uk, or pick up a brochure from the Electric Theatre, Ottakers bookshop, the Tourist Information Centre or Guildford Library.

TAKING THE TROUBLE OUT OF TAX
Did you work over the summer? Have you just returned from placement? Will you be working over Christmas? Have you just got a part-time job? Answer yes to any of the above? If so, you may be due a tax rebate. Representatives from the Inland Revenue will be in the Students’ Union Activities Centre on 3rd November and 8th December, running a tax clinic to help you with any queries you may have. Pop along anytime after midday, no appointment necessary.

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news

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

A+, A++... A waste of time?
Once again the education system looks like it may have some more ‘fine-tuning’ processes to go through, as suggestions for introducing A+, and A++ grades at Advanced Level were welcomed by many Universities. Apparently, as 20% of students achieve A grades at A-Level, there is no real indication of which students are the brightest. The most intelligent students, it is argued, deserve to be rewarded for achieving top marks and distinguished from the rest. Under the new proposal, 5% of students would achieve A++ grades. Pro-Vice-Chancellor at Cambridge University, Professor Melveena McKendrick, said: “We are particularly pleased by the working group’s proposal to introduce more intellectually challenging elements to advanced-level 14-19 education, which will stretch high-ability students and better prepare them for university.” I wonder, wouldn’t it be easier to simply make the exams harder? Results have been increasingly more impressive for a long time, so surely instead of introducing more grades it would make sense to simply make them harder? If the top 5% of students were to be awarded A grades, it would make the A grade something to once again be proud of. Instead of this, the A grade will be devalued and A+ or A++ grades will be the ones to be aimed for. There has also been a call to make available the individual module marks to Universities, so they can judge how well students performed in the more difficult A2 modules, under the new(ish) AS / A2 Advanced level structure. This seems a more sensible option for providing information to Universities regarding exactly how well students performed in their exams, and to distinguish between those at the very top end of the range, and those scraping good results. Still, it remains to be seen whether or not the education system will ever be left alone for more than a couple of years. All this has come off the back of yet another radical reform proposal put forward to introduce diplomas alongside GCSE and A-levels.

On Monday 18th October a report on Britain’s education system was published which proposed to replace GCSEs and A levels with a diploma scheme. The diploma would be made up of different levels and would allow more opportunity for students to train in vocational subjects. There would also be A+ and A++ grades at the top level to help distinguish the most gifted students. The government is expected to take on many of the reports suggestions.
words: neil christie, editor

For more information of reform in the education system, see: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/3754726.stm http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/3751644.stm http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/3753664.stm

AGMs
Mech Eng | 25th October | 5.30pm | 30BC03 European | 25th October | 6pm | GM Room Surrey Gurners | 26th October | 1pm | GM Room EARS | 27th October | 1pm | 27AB04 Fairtrade | 27th October | 6.30pm | LTA Kendo | 27th October | 7.20pm | UniSport Meditation | 28th October | 12pm | GM Room Active Thinkers | 28th October | 6pm | GM Room GU2 | 28th October | 6.15pm | LTE Brazilian | 1st November | 6pm | GM Room Game | 3rd November | 1pm | GM Room Gliding | 3rd November | 6pm | GM Room

SPORTS STANDING Monday 25th October 6pm Lecture Theatres
barefacts would like to formally apologise to Menya Nsanzumuco, featured in Bjorn Candel’s article “Body Language and the International Scene” in Issue 1082. He is in fact from Rwanda, not Uganda, and his gesture should have been interpreted as meaning “food” not “bread”.

national news

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On Friday 8 October the British hostage Ken Bigley who had been held captive in Iraq since mid September, was brutally murdered by his captors. It was later revealed Mr. Bigley had managed to escape, only to be recaptured and later beheaded. Silences were held in the city of Liverpool and before the England vs. Wales football match on the following Saturday.
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Ken Bigley

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In three televised debates President George Bush and Senator John Kerry, the candidates for the forthcoming presidential election in the United States, went head to head tackling issues such as Iraq and the failing US economy. Opinion polls suggested Kerry came out on top, but it is still very uncertain what the outcome of next month’s election will be.

Bush vs. Kerry

Never got round to buying that newspaper? Feeling adrift in the field of current affairs? Julie Wall summarizes the top ten stories of the past fortnight...

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9th October Danielle Becan, a fourteen year old girl in Nottingham, died after being shot in the stomach from a passing car on her way home after a night out with friends. The girl was not involved in gangs and her death shocked the town, which had seen a reduction in gun crimes in recent months. The following week an appeal was made by Danielle’s mother, who had cradled Danielle as she lay dying in the street, for help in tracking down the killers.

Nottingham Shooting In the early hours of Saturday

Politicians were forced to look at the problem of pensions on Tuesday 12th October when the Pensions Commission announced the country is heading for a major crisis if measures are not taken immediately. The Commission said the solution had to come from a mix of higher taxes, increased saving, and a higher retirement age. The following Friday the Prime Minister announced plans to cut other benefits to boost pensions.

Pension crisis

The murderer of the student backpacker Caroline Stuttle was found guilty and jailed for life by an Australian court on Friday 15th October. Caroline had been travelling in Australia on her gap year two years ago when she was pushed from a 30ft bridge in Queensland and died. Since her death Caroline’s family have set up an organisation to help students stay safe while travelling.

Caroline Stuttle

Christopher Reeve, the actor who played Superman, died on Sunday 10th October from a cardiac arrest. The actor, aged 52, had spent the last nine years of his life paralysed from the neck down after a riding accident severely damaged his spine. He had been a strong campaigner for more research into spinal chord injuries.

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Christopher Reeve

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On Friday 15th October a three day peace conference began in London, attended by politicians, campaigners, environmentalists and trade unionists. The European Social Forum, a gathering for people opposed to racism, war, and corporate power, included speeches by Tony Benn, George Galloway, Ken Livingstone, Gerry Adams and Che Guevara’s daughter Aleida Guevara.

Peace Conference

The Mauna Loa observatory in Hawaii which monitors carbon levels in the atmosphere reported a sharp rise in levels in 2002 and 2003. Levels normally rise by 1.5 parts per million (ppm) but in the last two years they have risen to over 2ppm. Scientists disagree over whether this is a sign of global warming or simply a fluctuation in natural CO2 levels.

Global Warming

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David Beckham came under strong criticism when he admitted he purposefully got booked during the England-Wales match in order to be disqualified for the next game against Azerbaijan. The England captain later apologised for his behaviour, but the England manager and the Football Association are yet to decide whether to take disciplinary measures against the player.

David Beckham

Michael Jackson was in the news twice recently. On Tuesday 12th October he complained about the rapper Eminem’s new music video, which features Eminem dressed like Jackson on a bed surrounded by boys. Later in the week the singer failed in his case to have the child abuse charges against him thrown out. The trial will take place in January.

Michael Jackson

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letters

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

Calling all postgraduates...
My name is Rachel Appleyard and I am the Vice President Postgraduate Affairs it’s a brand new post created this year in light of the fact that you guys have been seriously underrepresented in the past. I can help you in any aspect of Postgraduate life so if you have any questions, concerns, academic issues or problems then please come and see me. I will always make time for you. It’s been a busy few months for me and so I thought that I would let you guys know what I have been up to. After been thrown into the deep end with the task of co-authoring, (all 188 pages!) of the student’s submission of the QAA report, a document that analyses the quality of teaching within the University, I had a few weeks to concentrate on my casework and getting myself known around the University. Since then I have been involved in a number of projects including organising the Postgraduate Exhibition, initiating “ Chatterbox” the monthly postgraduate discussion forum and starting to develop an effective postgraduate programme representation system within the eight schools. I am also currently campaigning to have the facilities at Wates House re-developed to better suit the needs of those people that use them and will be developing a Postgraduate survey which will allow me to find out what issues are affecting you and use the results as a basis for my year’s work. Also, myself and Catherine Lee (VP Comms), together with a few postgraduates, are setting up a brand new Postgraduate publication. We are hoping that the first issue will be ready for printing in November. If you would like to contribute or help with the Postgraduate publication or would like to make a difference in your school by becoming a programme representative please contact me postgraduate@ussu.co.uk. Any other suggestions you have about anything and everything please feel free to email or come and see me. You elected me in and I’m here for you!

Letters to barefacts must be received by 12pm on Friday before the publication of the next issue to be included. (that’s Friday 29th October this time round) Email barefacts@ussu.co.uk, with “Letters” in the message title please!

Dear barefacts,
I have noticed that many changes have been made to our university campus over the summer. First of all we have the new bins which I personally like as blue is my favourite colour. I have heard some rumours about the prices of the bins though and that has scared me. I don’t exactly know how much truth there is in those given estimates so I am not going to comment. Another novelty are the automatic doors in the lecture theatres building. It is a good idea especially when you are carrying a handful of books. But what I have found out recently was that if you are in a hurry then the door opens right in your face. Though it is better than before it is still a concern to many people I have spoken to about it. On the morning of 14th October (Thursday) I also noticed a huge red container in the middle of the lecture theatre with water dribbling into it at quite a scary rate. I am glad that our uni is being modernised slowly but I think that basic amendments should be made first. Another issue to be addressed is the fact that it is impossible to walk through campus without having your feet soaked at least once. The worst situation seems to be on the way between Roots and the Accommodation Office. There is a deep puddle on the pavement and it is not possible to miss it as the way is restricted by a wall on one side and a metal barrier on the other. So on this note I am going to give you a piece of advice: When going to uni make sure you are not in a hurryespecially when taking a shortcut through the lecture theatre and don’t forget your wellies and your umbrella. Alternatively wait till the weather gets better. Good luck! Sara J

sabb in the spotlight 7
There is no such thing as a typical day for me, I suppose that’s why I love doing this job so much. Everyday brings new challenges and very different events that rarely would I have had the opportunity to experience had I not been elected (thanks for that by the way). Every day (even Thursday mornings after a heavy Wednesday night) my alarm clock goes off at 7:15am to the screams of Chris Moyles. After about 20 minutes of hitting the Snooze button and rolling over I finally fall out of bed and into the shower (pre shower Hash is not a nice thing).

Ever wondered exactly what it is the Sabbatical Officers do all day? Kicking off a series of photo diaries, Hash Alsaidi, Union President, gives us an insight into a typical day for him at USSU...

The trick to my day is getting to the office at about 8:20am. It’s the best time to get loads done. I tend to get all my emails read and replies sent before everyone starts to come in and my day starts to really kick off. Depending on the day of the week there is always a union meeting of some description usually those meetings are designed to improve the facilities we have in terms of entertainments and membership services, as well as allowing us to have the broader discussion on the future direction of the Union. In addition to these meetings I attend many University meetings at the senior management level, such as Senate, University Council and Finance. Attending University meetings provides me with the opportunity to represent students at the highest level and to help direct the University provision towards the student experience. The most important part of my job is the students and on a day-to-day basis I try to see as many students as possible. Students come and see me for a variety of reasons ranging from wanting to put on events, to concerns about their courses, from worries they have to simply wanting to come in for a chat. However it’s not just about the students coming to see me in my office, I can often be seen around campus talking to students about issues important to them and in the evenings you will often find me in Rubix, the Students’ Union nightclub.

PRESIDENT
name: Hash Alsaidi age: 23 birthday: 21.03.81 height: 5ft 6inch (or so they tell me) weight: reducing marital status: single favourite food: pizza favourite drink: snakebite and black favorite film: goodfellas favourite song: Jive Bunny and the Mega Mix football team: portsmouth greatest moment at uni: too many - winning the election last Feb must be very high up there If you could change one thing ban pineapple on pizza’s (sweet and sour does not go!) Rachel: but

In a very short period of time I have met royalty politicians and even pop stars but I still have to say that one of the best aspects of my day is the interaction I get with the people that I work with here in the Union. Whether that be the dedicated members of staff, the sabbatical team or student representatives. Having a common goal is something that is great to work towards but having said that differences of opinion can also provide many interesting debates, which we have never been afraid to have. The last few months have been long and hard and I cannot see the rest of the year getting any easier but that’s exactly how I like it. You now that your getting somewhere with all this job when the decisions and the tasks get harder. A typical day, who wants a typical day?

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council

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

Motions: a guide for the uninformed
‘The Union is great. Everything it does is ace. I completely agree with the current policies of the Union and see no need to change anything in anyway. The sabbatical officers are demi-gods and I bow to their clearly superior knowledge.’ Like the preceding sentence? Agree with it? If so why not go and do the lyrics quiz; if not read on to find out how to get things done in the Union.
There’s something about the Union which really irritates me. What can I do about it? Well you can either bitch and moan to your mates or you can submit a motion to Union Council and get it sorted. The University’s pretty annoying as well; can the Union campaign on my behalf? Same thing really, if you want the Union to take an issue to the University, you need to submit a motion. Indeed you could even submit a motion that calls for our Union to do something at a national level; like oppose top-up fees. What’s this motion malarkey about then? A motion is an instruction to the Union that something should be done – any full member of the Union can submit one. For example a motion could mandate the president to take an issue to University council or to make the Union a Fairtrade Union. Once a motion has been submitted to council it’s discussed and voted upon, if it passes then it’ll become Union policy. Why should I write a motion, isn’t that what the sabbatical officers are for? Well not really, you see the Union is more than six sabbatical officers; it is the student collective. Therefore it makes sense that Union policy comes from our members rather than six people who are not even students anymore. What does a motion consist of? Basically a motion consists of three parts: facts, beliefs and actions. That’s it. If your motion has those three components then it’ll be fine. A detailed example of how to write a motion can be found on the opposite page. What do I do with this motion? Well you need to get a second full member of the Union to second it for one thing. You also need to submit the motion to the Union Chair, Chris Conner chair@ussu.co.uk seven days before the date of Union Council. A full break down of the dates by which motions must be submitted can be found at http: //www.ussu.co.uk/council.. I guess I have to get it in on time then? Indeed. If you don’t then it won’t be discussed till the following Council. Just as an aside, what is Union Council? Union Council is the main decision making body of the Union. All Union officers are answerable to Union Council. It is the members’ opportunity to decide what should be done, who should do it and to check that past commitments have been carried out. Do I have to speak at Union Council? It’d be best if you did, although you could nominate someone to speak on your behalf. You’ll have to give a speech explaining in broad terms what the motion is about, people then have the opportunity to propose changes or amendments to the motion. Following a vote on whether any changes or amendments should be accepted, the Union Chair will then invite a speech against the motion. After all of this and a round of questioning the original proposer will have the opportunity to sum up. Who can vote on my motion? Any full member of Union Council; this includes all Union officers and one representative from each Union club and society. For an ordinary motion a simple majority is needed, for a change to the Union constitution a two-thirds majority is needed. What’s this quoracy thing I’ve heard of? Before Union Council can vote on anything, a certain number of full members of Union Council must be present; the meeting must be quorate. The current quoracy level of Union Council is forty Union Council full members. Therefore it’s worth your while ensuring that as many members as possible are there. I’ve also heard of procedural motions, what are they? Whilst some people think they exist simply to slow the meeting down, procedural motions allow members to change the way that Union Council is run. The full list can be seen opposite.

council

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An example motion: Rice Crispies are great
As already mentioned a motion needs to have three things in it, facts, beliefs and actions. As a result motions are normally separated into three parts; This Union Notes, This Union Believes and This Union Resolves. The following should give you a good idea on how to structure your motion. This Union Notes Only facts should be included in here. It helps if you can show that your reasoning is based on real life rather than a killer hangover. Opinions and actions should be left to later sections. 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Breakfast cereals can be a very healthy meal. The Union does not serve breakfast cereal in Chancellors. Rice Crispies are a good example of a breakfast cereal. They are high in carbohydrates and low in fat. Full fat milk has a high fat content compared to skimmed milk.

The lowdown on procedural motions
No confidence in the chair – I think he/she’s pretty biased, get someone else in. Another round of speeches – this is interesting, lets discuss it some more. Move straight to a vote – I’m hungry; can we just vote. Adjourning the meeting – Lets call it a day. Have a secret ballot – I’d prefer if others didn’t see how I vote on this one. Recount the vote – Count it again. Refer the item under discussion to another body – Send it to a cross campus ballot. To vote on parts of the motion separately – I like some bits but not others. To not vote on the item under discussion – I don’t want to vote on this at all. Challenge the Chair’s ruling – I think the Chair’s made a mistake.

This Union Believes This is the part where you can put in your beliefs and opinions. It is your opportunity to show your passion on the subject of the motion. 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) That people should eat more cereal. That Rice Crispies are a taste sensation. That Rice Crispies are clearly nicer than inferior cereals such as Shreddies, Cornflakes and Frosties. That Rice Crispies would sell well if sold in Chancellors in the mornings. That full fat milk doesn’t taste very nice and skimmed milk is where it’s at. That any Rice Crispies sold in Chancellors should be provided with skimmed milk.

This Union Resolves This section allows you to actually get something done; indeed in many ways it’s the most important part. To ensure that things actually get done it is important to mandate a Union officer to oversea whatever the motion resolves to do. 1) 2) 3) 4) That Chancellors serve Rice Crispies with skimmed milk every day. That the President be mandated to ensure that this happens. That Rice Crispies will be promoted by the Union as a healthy breakfast. That all the sabbatical officers should demonstrate their love for Rice Crispies by eating a bowl every day.

All that is left to do is to state which two full members of the Union have proposed and seconded the motion. Proposer: Will Keith Kellogg URN 123456 Seconder: Ewan Panter - VP Mountain Biking For more information on writing a motion, contact Scott Farmer, Member Development and Policy Co-ordinator on 01483 683951, s.farmer@surrey.ac.uk.
words: ewan panter

“70% of employers agree that degree results alone are not the best measure of employment potential.”
Graduates in the Eyes of Employers 2002

Scott Farmer, Member Development and Policy Co-ordinator for USSU with a little help from Prospects.ac.uk explains how the DAVE Project helps “21st century graduates need to demonstrate to employers that they can ‘hit the ground running’. In addition to working hard to gain a good degree, students should engage in extracurricular activities and obtain work experience in order to develop skills that will make them better prepared for the world of work. It is also important for students to become self- aware and develop the confidence to market themselves effectively when the time comes to apply for jobs.” Carl Gilleard – Chief Executive, Association of Graduate Recruiters. Leaving university with a good degree is a pre-requisite in the graduate employment market, but alone this is not enough to secure your first graduate job. How does an employer choose the right person from a hundred applicants all with the same class of degree? The skills you develop whilst at school/college and university and the experiences you gain will all help to give you the edge over the next candidate. The good news is that this means it is essential not just to bury your head in a book all the time you’re at university, but to continue with your interests and work experience which are all the things that help to enrich your life, not to mention your CV. So what do employers want? Analysis of years of national employer surveys suggests the desired skills for graduates fall into four broad areas. Do any of the words in the table on the right describe you? “When selecting engineering graduates, the engineering degree subject and to some extent their predicted grade is not so critical. It is their experience, skills and personality that is important. Therefore, I try to interview all candidates that get through the initial selection phase to judge for myself the person behind the application form.” Richard Humbert, Toyota Manufacturing U “Based on a survey of 200 employers (including BMW Group, Logica and PricewaterhouseCoopers), verbal communication is the quality that most employers seek in graduate recruits. This is followed by enthusiasm and written communication skills. Problem-solving ability, numeracy, business awareness and team work are also rated highly.” From Learning to Earning (2002) “At Accenture we look for graduates with strong communications skills, excellent problem-solving abilities and a genuine desire to work hard. We do offer exceptional rewards and a forward-thinking working environment in return. The university experience helps students to develop these skills and make them more attractive to the job market.” Emily Cross, Graduate Recruitment Officer, Accenture

Self reliance skills Self-awareness - – purposeful, focused, self-belief, realistic Proactivity - resourceful, drive, self-reliant Willingness to learn - inquisitive, motivated, enthusiastic Self-promotion - positive, persistent, ambitious Networking - initiator, relationship-builder, resourceful Planning action - decision-maker, planner, able to prioritise People skills Team working – supportive, organised, co-ordinator, deliverer Interpersonal skills – listener, adviser, co-operative, assertive Oral communication – communicator, presenter, influencer Leadership – motivator, energetic, visionary Customer orientation – friendly, caring, diplomatic Foreign language – specific language skills General skills Problem-solving – practical, logical, results orientated Flexibility – versatile, willing, multi-skilled Business acumen – entrepreneurial, competitive, risk taker IT/computer literacy – office skills, keyboard skills, software packages Numeracy – accurate, quick-thinker, methodical Commitment – dedicated, trustworthy, conscientious Specialist skills Specific occupational skills – specialist relevant knowledge, eg languages, IT Technical skills – eg journalism, engineering, accounting, sales
Source: Taken from the Art of Building Windmills: Career Tactics for the 21st Century

OK So now what. What does the DAVE Project do for me? The DAVE project is a professional skills training project run by students for students. It provides sessions for those already involved in activities within the union and university as well as one off sessions for those who want to check the project out. What does DAVE stand for? Development, Accreditation, Volunteering and Employability! Development Develops your transferable personal and professional skills to enable you to reach your potential. Accreditation Most DAVE sessions are accredited through the Individual Development Scheme. Giving you either a bronze/ silver or gold certificate at the end of the project! Volunteering As well as all the sessions being voluntary, you can also use your involvement in the V scheme to complement DAVE. Employability The whole point of the DAVE project is to ensure you become even more marketable to prospective employers. What are the sessions? Sessions are fun, informative and interactive requiring your active involvement through discussions, scenarios, questionnaires, small work groups and team tasks.There are over 20 sessions to choose from ranging from communication to project planning and stress management. How do I book onto a session? Just log onto www.thedaveproject.co.uk and click DAVE’s Points and Bookings, Register and book onto the session you want. For more information contact: Scott Farmer, Member Development & Policy Co-ordinator 01483 683951, s.farmer@surrey.ac.uk

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barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

Why is our President going to Australia?
“Why?” indeed – it’s an expensive trip (the budget is set for around the £6k mark) and at first sight could be construed to be a bit of a jolly. How wrong that is… Firstly don’t panic – the six thousand pounds isn’t Union money. The Vice Chancellor is funding the trip, which is outside of the Union’s annual subvention [ed - money given to the Union each year by the University in order to run the membership services side of things like DAVE, societies, sports clubs etc] and the University has not dictated any kind of agenda to those members of the Union that will be going on various trips at the end of November. Here’s a bit of factual background. Hash (Union President) and Bob Anderson (member of staff - Union Manager) will be going to Australia for 10 days at the end of November to visit Universities out there. Simultaneously, Scott Farmer (staff - Member Development & Policy Co-ordinator), Lisa Widdows (staff - Representation & Welfare Co-ordinator), Amy Fawcett (staff - Student Activities Co-ordinator), and Andy Blair (staff - Membership Services & Deputy General Manager) will be travelling around the UK to investigate other Students’ Unions. What for? Well, an interview with Hash seemed the best way to find out...

Hash, what’s this project all about? The Students’ Union needs to plan re-development for the future. As you know, the Union is currently formulating a 5year strategic plan. In order for this plan to hold credibility, research needs to be undertaken – and this research is towards building a world class Students’ Union (SU) here at Surrey. The Union as it stands is currently the product of research that was undertaken four years ago, financed by the SU itself, where UK students’ unions were visited and scrutinised to formulate a plan for this one. The UK trips will be to re-evaluate where Surrey SU currently stands – are we behind other unions, are we about level, or are we leading the field? We can learn a lot from looking at other unions, and discover new ideas and solutions to problems that we have here. In short, we can further progress what we’ve started. For Australia, there are multiple reasons. We discussed the need for researching world class institutions with NUS and have worked closely with them. They suggested looking at Australia – as the demographics of their Universities are a very close match to ours, as is their funding structures, and they have many prestigious world class Universities and SUs. That’s what we’re striving for, and we intend to learn, build, and implement a strategy that is supported financially and in spirit by our university. If we can show the university that we have clear, achievable aims and goals then we will be in a much stronger position to ask for a greater amount of money for our subvention, as the University will know exactly where the money will be going and what the likely results will be. Australia is also around seven years ahead of us in terms of government action. They already have a variable fees system in place, and the effects of this are something that we are keen to look at. We want to make sure that the path

we take is a successful one during this transition period, avoiding mistakes that may otherwise be made without this ‘insight to the future’. So in the long run, we could receive more money from the University? That’s the idea – and the only way the university (and quite rightly so) should fund our goals and objectives is if we can show them exactly where it is we want to be in the long term, and how much that will benefit students. What are you going to be doing in Oz? The first thing will be talking to the elected representatives at their Students’ Unions. We will be quizzing them about what their elected reps do, their roles, and what services they offer their members. We will also be looking at how they cater to International students and Postgraduate students. Very importantly we want to consider their methods of overcoming student apathy and increasing student involvement in Union affairs, as most SUs over there do have a strong input from a majority of their members. Can’t you just email or ring them up or something? Unfortunately not. A lot of what we’re focusing on is development, but not just in terms of processes and ideals. We want to see their facilities, taste the ambience and get a real feeling. What we’re looking for is tangible as well as service orientated – we want to be looking at the environments SUs have to work with and how we compare. More importantly, how we can improve. We also want to have very close communication, responding to points raised by them and barraging them with questions. The internet can’t suffice with that, and it’s simply not the

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same kind of meeting. For example we can say we have a glider, but it doesn’t tell you what kind, how often it’s used, how costly it is, how much of a factor it is for students coming to Surrey and so on. We are also planning to walk around their campuses and talk to students. Whilst meeting and greeting is informative, we want the nitty gritty on the universities and unions we are going to visit. To discover the attitudes and feelings of the students and again, make comparisons and ask them why they feel the way they do over there, and what prompts their input into the system. This 5-year plan malarkey – isn’t it irrelevant if the sabbs change every year? The example I’d give to answer that is the one of our university. The university has just finished writing its 10-year strategic plan, but a new Vice Chancellor is being appointed. Because the university has a solid plan and direction, the new VC will not come in and throw what they have away. He may have other ideas on how to achieve the final goals, or want to modify the end result – but we’re looking to become a world class SU, and if we can provide some evidence on how to get to that point based on strong research then I’m confident future sabbaticals will carry on the work we start. They may approach it differently, but so long as the direction and motivation is there, it will be a very worthwhile asset. You’re the only sabbatical going – how comes? To be honest, it’s more to do with the university and their approach to this. They are funding the whole event, and are clearly going to market this trip to those they come in contact with. They want to promote the fact that they care enough about their students to send representatives from the Students’ Union on a project to evolve the Students’ Union into a world class institution. They therefore want a student representative to go along. As the President, I am the figure head of the organisation and it just follows that I will be the one to go. I will be keeping a weblog of each day’s events and what’s occurring. That leads nicely into what kind of evidence and research we can expect from this project… There will be a full report written on both sides of the project – the Australia and UK excursions. This will be brought to, and explained at Student Council. The university will get a copy of the report and we aim to publicise the fact that Surrey has gone and done this research by making it available to other universities in the country. This will hopefully raise our profile quite a bit on the national stage, and make us a voice to respect… [ed – this is all important for things like NUS

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conventions and simply having a presence on the national arena]. What would you say to the question, “Why spend £6k on a trip when the sports clubs and societies could do with this now?” Well, six thousand pound won’t go a long way. After a few Finance and Staffing meetings [ed – this is where sports clubs and societies apply for extra money to their budget in order to cover extraordinary costs for events, equipment etc] this would soon disappear. However, an investment in a trip like this will mean we have some hard research and evidence to plough into the 5-year plan. The university will hopefully be impressed with our visions and directions, and this will result in greater funding from them in order to achieve our goals. So… Australia, what do you know about it at the moment? Not that much in terms of direct information about their clubs, societies etc. In Australia they are also quite hot on their finances. We want to look at successful case studies of how they develop successful businesses that generate money for their unions. This extra money from ventures would prove very helpful and we could plough this extra money into our SU membership services. What’s the general itinerary for the Oz trip? Right… we’re leaving for Canberra around the 24/5th of November. Here, there’s the ACUMA Conference (essentially involving managers of SUs in Oz). Then it’s time to jet to Melbourne where we’ll look at RMIT and Monash University. Then on to Adelaide, which has Flinders University and the Uni of Adelaide. Then it’s off to Sydney to see the Uni of Technology and Uni of New South Wales. It’s a 3 week trip, so there’s a lot to get in. What about the UK bunch? They’ll be split up and travelling to various areas of the country, visiting 25 UK Universities in total (including some in Scotland). For example, Scott will be in the Northwest and the West, whereas Andy’s off to Scotland and then the South West. Does the University have an agenda with this at all? No, which is encouraging. They haven’t asked us to find anything particular out – so we’re going to engage in our own research to enable us to start making plans to build this into a world class instution.
words: neil christie, editor

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trolling down the bright, white path comes a figure sporting reflective, wrap-round shades and a greensleeved baseball shirt. The words “Phi Kappa Sigma” are proudly plastered over his chest. Despite the blazing sunshine he still looks cool as he approaches with a gleaming American smile.

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

MAKING IT BIG IN TEXAS
stepmother and brother, currently residing in Houston, Texas. The first month has proved to be a tough test for him as all his expectations were challenged upon arrival. “I thought Dallas was like a small country town and I thought the campus would be really small, too. Then I get here and it’s like a 21-squareft campus. You can’t leave the campus without a car, and Dallas has more than 5 million people,” he says. Matt’s father Stephen Robertson, who has lived in Houston for six years spoke of why Matt’s move is not quite what he expected. “It’s great that Matt’s here but it’s not quite what he or I thought,” he said. “The distance between Denton and Houston is like the difference between Aberdeen and London, so I don’t get to see him too often. But it is great that he is here.” Describing how the feelings of homesickness come and go, Matt energetically perks up, smile returning, when he explains what he likes best about Texas. “The people are so friendly, everywhere you go,” he says. “You walk down the street past somebody and you get a smile and they’ll say hi. You walk into a room and the first thing everyone does is introduce themselves. Nobody holds back.” With the same enthusiasm, eyes still bright and arms waving energetically, Matt quickly launches into a spiel describing what he doesn’t like about Texas and what he misses from back home. He does not allow for interruptions. “I can’t stand the American food. I’m looked at like I’m stupid when I ask for a meal that has less than 1⁄2 a pound of meat in it and more than an icecream scoop of carbohydrates. Everything is processed.” Of course with the legal drinking age being 21 in the USA, he comments on how he misses the lenient English drinking-age laws dearly. “I miss being able to turn around and say to my mates on Sunday evenings, ‘let’s go down to Chancellors and have a pint!’ I really miss just being able to chill out in a pub. I’d never again slag off Chancellors!” Matt has been at the University of North Texas for a month now and his time with the fraternity is just beginning. He accepted its invitation to join in a special ceremony last Saturday after spending the week “rushing. ”Rush week is the time students can spend meeting all of the fraternities, finding one that suits and then seeing if the fraternities are willing to bid for them. After spending the full week with Phi Kappa Sigma, Matt and the fraternity brothers seemed to immediately bond. “Part of bid day is the ceremony where we had to run out onto a bandstand and shout out in front of everyone which fraternity we were from,” he says. “I was getting really nervous. A huge crowd of people were shouting and chanting at the top of their voices and at first I couldn’t hear my frat. I got up on stage and I saw my flag flying and I was so excited, I shouted ‘Phi Kappa Sigma!’ at the top of my voice and all the brothers jumped up and screamed and shouted for me.” As an English boy, accustomed to drinking, Matt did not let the alcohol laws get in his way. Living up to the reputation of fraternity tradition, he partied hard. “In an hour and a half, I had drunk enough to make me forget the rest of the day! I threw up for two hours and after that I passed out for 8 or 9!” Stubbornly denying that fraternity socialising is all drunken parties and misbehaving he adds in a serious tone, “part of the fraternity rules are that brothers are obligated to obtain their degree. “They’re really big on education. Every frat has a scholarship officer; if you drop below a certain grade you’re out. If you fail modules, you’re out. They’re really focused and really push you.” Still considered a “pledge,” Matt will not become a full member for another six to eight weeks, after a grueling initiation schedule. He does not know exactly what he has to do in this time, but clinging to

Then something strange happens. Instead of the familiar “Hey y’all” welcome, usually to be expected, a rather charming English accent greets, “Hello how are you?” When questioned about his T-shirt, the very proper voice responds, thrusting his fist in the air, “Rush Phi Kappa!” It is beginning of the fall semester and the week after Rush Week. English exchange student Matt Robertson, all the way from the University of Surrey, England, has been invited to join one of the prestigious fraternities at the University of North Texas in Denton, Texas. This is a big accomplishment for anyone since fraternities play a fundamental and exclusive role in the campus social life of American universities. They act as a student social organisation and provide close friendships between members, who are referred to as brothers.“They have all the biggest and best parties on campus,” explains Matt with a knowing grin creeping across his face. Matt, 19, is a second year business management student and describes his first year at The University of Surrey as “the best year of his life.” However, Matt was adamant before he even started university that he wanted to spend some time in America. Commenting on the importance of learning about American business, he also wanted the chance to be closer to his father,

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perspective and his morals, he confidently and honestly states that he will not be pushed too far. “They (fraternities) have a bad rep, but I promised myself when I started that I was doing it for a laugh,” he says. “When I came over I wasn’t planning to join a fraternity, so I’m not going to do anything I don’t want to do. I want to become a member and it now means a lot to me, but I would be willing to give it up because I wouldn’t sacrifice my morals.” However, he does fully justify his decision to join and trusts the fraternity brothers not to take advantage. “They are nothing but good people and they’ve given so much to us. If they make us do shitty stuff I don’t believe they’ll do it just so they can get a kick out of it,” he says. “I think they are doing it to promote teamwork and togetherness, the same way as they do in the army. All the guys rushing with me are going through the exact same thing and we all stand by each other to produce a strong fighting unit.” There is no doubt in Matt’s mind that coming to America has been a good move, as his face glows when he contemplates his achievements to date. Matt almost pleads as he makes the recommendation to all other students to try the exchange programme. He explains that he thinks it is a worthwhile opportunity for anyone. “You come abroad and it’s really scary. You do get homesick and you do have worries. The food is crap and you can’t drink because you have to be 21, but the people are great. You meet other foreign students, which is fantastic, and you meet Texans, which is fantastic. It’s such an experience,” he says. Cheekily smiling at the end of his interview, Matt insists on adding one last comment - a call to all the English boys out there. “Guys you have to come over here, the girls are crazy about the accent. I’ve even had girls offer me sex because of my voice! And it definitely is true what they say… everything is bigger in Texas!” words: jenna cairney, university of texas

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Animal rights... but at what cost?

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bout 18 months ago I went to my first and only NUS conference in Blackpool. The thing that startled me the most was the sheer number of special interest groups that make up the bedrock of the organisation. In addition to the student wings of the major political parties, add such groups as the Union of Jewish students, Cuban solidarity group, campaign for free education and a baffling array of other minority interest groups that truly had to be seen in order to be believed. Whilst walking past some of the many stands in the foyer of the conference venue, I remember being accosted by a clipboardtoting student near the free trade stand. She wanted me to sign a petition against Huntingdon Life sciences – the Cambridge based company most famous for animal testing. Not having particularly strong views either way, I listened patiently to the patter before politely declining the offer to add my signature and moving on. This ultimately forgettable exchange remained buried until I read an article in the newspaper about animal rights protesters in a Staffordshire village. The story goes that the body of a deceased 82-year-old grandmother has been dug up from a village graveyard – some seven years after being buried. The prime suspects are so called animal rights extremists who have been waging a long running war against the family in question. Their crime is to breed guinea pigs, under home office licence, that are subsequently sold on to animal testing laboratories. The

family concerned, it seems, have been subjected to an unbelievable witch-hunt by these protesters for many years. Before digging up the grandmother of the farm owners, the protesters have dug up the golf course used by the farmers in question, harassed staff, thrown paint stripper over vehicles not to mention the classic ‘dog mess through the letterbox’. Not only the farmers themselves, but anyone who does business with them, from the local pub landlord through to delivery drivers collecting from the farm have been targeted. It’s difficult to imagine just how much anguish these so called protesters have put one family through. Add to that the fact that they have now performed their own exhumation of human remains that happens to be the grandmother of one of these farmers. Now, we all have a right to protest, but at what point did the method for doing this go from collecting signatures to digging up pensioners? The arguments for and against vivisection are many and complex, far more complex than can be done justice here in just a few short lines. Essentially, most people will accept that an individual has a right to oppose the use of animals for biological testing. Be this for pharmaceutical, medical, cosmetic or other purposes it is perfectly understandable for a person to object to this as being, in their own opinion, morally wrong. Where I struggle here is to understand at what point having a moral objection to the licensed breeding of guinea pigs leads to being in a church yard in the small hours of the morning, shovel in hand. Digging up the golf course, whilst being excessive, is one thing – but removing human remains from consecrated ground? Protesting, it seems, has never been more popular. Anti-war, anti-globalisation, pro-foxhunting, anti-foxhunting – all have their chance to make their opinions known in a variety of ways. No-one can object to peaceful protest but there should always be boundaries. You’ll forgive me if I don’t feel the need to put pen to paper the next time I’m presented with a clipboard.
words: paul canning

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Dukes and Hazards
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barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

xactly two years ago, I submitted my first column for barefacts. At the time, I was a first-year postgraduate. I was living with a neurotic student who used to bark instructions through the toilet door at me regarding the correct way to wipe my arse. She kept our house so suffocatingly hot that I had to sleep with my window wide open in February. Our quarterly fuel bill exceeded three hundred pounds, and when I once turned the thermostat down by five degrees, she smashed a mug against the wall. I found myself spending more and more time at University, and three nights a week the same people would stride past the office window on the way to the Students’ Union. After a while they noticed me, and started interacting: swearing, taunting, urinating, until one day somebody actually fell through it. He left a few splashes of blood on the torn window blinds, and a gouge in my printer where a shard of glass had embedded itself, before disappearing without a trace. At the time, my girlfriend of two years had just deserted me for a Scotsman with third-rate mind, a contempt for humanity, and a skill, I was told, for delivering mind-shattering multiple orgasms. I had only one good friend within visiting distance, and he was an alcoholic. Yes, life was shit, but showing off in barefacts cheered me up. The first article was about a Union campaign to promote safe sex. So far, so meritorious — but the Union had misjudged its audience in presuming that we are all promiscuous. In fact, most students are lucky if they’re sexually active at all. The theme of the article was my predicament. It was voiced, albeit pompously, as the day-to-day reality of a silent majority. Life’s improved since then, though. Last month I got the hell out of Guildford and I’m now lodging in Frimley with two bemortgaged friends. Frimley is fourteen miles and a world away from Guildford: cheap, low-brow, and boring enough to permit hours of uninterrupted typing. I’m getting married in June to a wonderful astrophysicist from Leicester whom I met at a friend’s engagement party in 2002. There isn’t much else in my life to worry about now except The Thesis, and the usual organisational nightmares and familial tensions that spring up in obedient answer to the word ‘wedding’. And I’m sorry, but as a final year postgraduate, my life’s become so hectically benign that I just can’t think of anything fun to write about. A long time ago, I promised myself that it would never come to this. Whenever a columnist starts writing about the process of writing, the death-knell tolls. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just gone selfreferential. The last shard of original thought just left the building, and today, I’m writing about writing. That means that in another fortnight I’ll be writing about writing about writing, and then this whole column’s just going to disappear up its own arse. (Do columns have arses?) I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel here, but there is something that might have happened to me last week. Our chancellor, HRH The Duke of Kent, paid a visit to our department. I managed to sneak a glance at the itinerary for the day, and was intrigued

by the precision with which our distinguished guest was to be shunted from place to place. The dozen-or-so people who were picked out as either shepherds or scenery had their roles defined and their actions regimented to the last breath. For a royal visit, almost every pace and handshake is prescribed, and is assigned an hour, minute and second, a twelve-figure geographical grid reference, and a roll of film. Did I meet him? Sorry, no, because I didn’t happen to be on that list. In fact, I didn’t happen to be on campus at all. But looking at the itinerary in all its precious detail made me realise how little I knew about our VIP guest. In the interests of research, and because you’ve got to come away with something from this article because otherwise you’ll be angry with me, I found out a bit about him. So here, gleaned from the invaluable Burke’s Peerage along with a number of other sources, are ten things you didn’t know about HRH The Duke of Kent. 1. The Duke of Kent has five Christian names: his full name is Edward George Nicholas Paul Patrick Windsor. 2. The Duke of Kent is Queen Elizabeth II’s cousin. Their common grandparents are King George V and Queen Mary. 3. Our chancellor is younger than The Queen by eight and a half years, and his birthday is 9th October. Hence, this is HRH The Duke of Kent’s birthday issue of Barefacts. Hang out the bunting! 4. Our chancellor should be addressed as ‘Your Royal Highness’, followed by just plain ‘Sir’ once he’s been greeted formally. 5. The Duke of Kent, in common with his father, the first Duke of Kent, has never been connected by birth, education, or address with Kent. 6. The Duke of Kent has been our chancellor since 1977. 7. He should not be confused under any circumstances with his brother, Prince Michael of Kent, or the Marvel superhero Prince Clark of Kent. 8. HRH The Duke of Kent is a high-ranking Freemason. 9. The footballer-turned-self-styled-visionary David Icke insists that all members of the Royal Family and high-ranking Freemasons are descended from a line of reptilian extra-terrestrials with a taste for human flesh (no, really — http://www.davidicke.com/icke/articles/ aliens.html). 10. If one hundred people have each taken four and a half minutes to read this article, I’ve just wasted an entire working day of the Earth’s time. Well, we’re here to learn, and it’s certainly been an education. Now you know exactly as much as I do about the Duke of Kent, perhaps we can go forward together into this beautiful world, do something amazing with the time we have left, staple it together, and hand it in to a tutor. Good day to you!
words: ben supper

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Please. Whilst reading a women’s magazine (you have to so that you know what they’re bitching about with regards to men, and if there are any sex tips it’s always a good move to study those, too) I came across a report relating t o binge drinking. If I’m honest, I thought the article was a bit naff. It certainly didn’t “separate the facts from the hysteria” as it promised. But, a quote from the article both prompted a lot of laughter and this article. Essentially a nurse got plastered and ended up sleeping with someone from senior management. Waking up the next morning with some soreness, she assumed she must have had anal sex. The article did provide some basis for what is a growing concern in the UK, and is being pushed up the political agenda - binge drinking (drinking lots of alcohol in a short period). Students (or more specifically, those between 1624) rather unsurprisingly, are being highlighted as a key part of the population that are ‘at risk’ from the dangers of binge drinking. If you’ve ever wandered into Rubix or Chancellors, then you may see one or more individuals that are rather heavily intoxicated. Why does anyone care? Well apart from the clear fact that it could end up in anal sex aka Miss Nurse above, binge drinking isn’t too great for your body. In fact, it’s pretty unhealthy. Firstly, binge drinking now can have lasting effects on your body. Therefore, it’s not a case of “oh, my liver regenerates – it doesn’t matter”. Unfortunately what you do now will have a resulting effect on your future health. Binge drinking can severely screw up memory – particularly long-term. This wouldn’t be a good thing for exams, or remembering future partners’ birthdays and anniversaries. Believe me, you want to be able to remember those. Binge drinkers are also more likely to have a heart attack in later life and suffer from heart problems, and there’s also been a huge increase in liver transplants in young people – attributed to binge drinking (particularly amongst teenagers and those in their early twenties).

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Can everyone stop getting f**ked?
Short-term effects are a bit more obvious, and for the nurse above she had a classic characteristic of it – unsafe sex. This obviously means an increased chance in picking up nasty diseases and STDs – whether you mean to or not, serial binge drinking could result in things like contracting such diseases, and (heaven forbid) something like AIDS. It’s also more likely that individuals will end up in hospital after a big session – either as the victim of a road accident or an assault case (interestingly more victims are drunk than assailants in assault cases, and the trend is increasing). In terms of a nationwide effect, Britain spends billions on trying to help those suffering with binge drinking side effects. Whether or not an individual is addicted to alcohol is irrelevant – any student getting tanked up three nights a week is a lot more likely to suffer in the long run, even if they quit drinking after their degree. So, conclusion? Be aware that binge drinking isn’t good for your health and that it’ll simply lead to increased taxes to pay for the burden it puts on the health service. It may also cost you a job (binge drinking is responsible for an estimated loss of £6.5bn through sickies from work and being hungover), and could cost you some parts of your body, too. You’re also likely to get a want one? huge gut from it – so instead of beer, try wine or spirits (in moderation, of course) every now and then. BUT it’d be far too hypocritical to write all this and start campaigning for people to drink less. So, check the drinking units and quantities at http://www.studenthealth.co.uk/leaflets/Daily%20Guidelin es%20For%20Sensible%20Drinking.htm. Bear in mind the government guidelines are to drink a maximum of 14 units per week – and ideally spread across that week, not necking them all in one night.
words: neil christie, editor

binge drinking = silly, uninhabited behaviour...

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societies barefacts@ussu.co.uk 22 10 04 Fairtrade puzzles
“…its not all about drinking coffee…”
Space has been a bit tight for the puzzle section this week and it’s had to move to accommodate an extensive sports section! Apologies for standard cinema ticket prizes - we’ll do our best to get some extra special ones in for the next edition. Check out the Sports Spot the Ball competition to win yourself some Adidas goodies!

Of every 100 children born today, 30 will suffer from malnutrition, 26 will miss out on immunisations against basic childhood diseases, 19 will lack access to safe drinking water and 17 will never go to school. Every year, nearly 11 million children – about 30,000 a day – die before their fifth birthday, mostly from preventable causes (www.unicef.org.uk). Many of these statistics could be prevented if international trade laws were changed. At the moment, multi-national companies who buy raw products like tea, coffee beans and cocoa beans from farmers in Africa, South America and Asia can control the price they pay. They are not paying enough. This means that poor farmers are getting poorer, their livelihoods are devalued and whole communities are suffering. Its harsh, its unfair, but unfortunately it’s the reality of our world. For more information see www.peopleandplanet.org.uk/ tradejustice/briefing.worldtrade.php. So how can Fairtrade help? Fairtrade products have been bought from the farmers at a decent price. Fairly traded tea, coffee, and chocolate along with many other products are available. Fairtrade products are high quality, and by buying them you are supporting people’s right to make a living for themselves. There are many testimonies from farmers whose lives have improved after selling to a Fair Trade company. “Our income has increased, and I am educating my children, which was not possible before” - Joshna Rahman, incense maker, Bangladesh. What will the society be doing? We believe that when students understand these issues, they will prefer to buy Fairtrade. Therefore as a society we hope to encourage cafes on campus to stock Fairtrade products. The society will be raising awareness and campaigning inspired by the “Student’s Guide to Fairtrade”, which can be found at http://www.oxfam.org.uk/ what_we_do/fairtrade/uniguide/index.htm. The first AGM of the society will be on Wednesday 27th October at 6.30 pm in LTA. Everyone is welcome to come along and find out more, and if you would like to get involved then we will be holding elections for the society’s committee. The positions open are President, Treasurer, Secretary and Campaigner. At the moment, there are no nominees for Secretary or Campaigner so why not think about nominating yourself? We are looking for committed people to devote 3-4 hours a week. You don’t have to know everything there is to know about Fair Trade, just be willing to learn more! For more information about any aspect of the society, or if you would like to nominate yourself, please email me at ms31sd@surrey.ac.uk. Finally, let me just say that Fair Trade is not charity, every time you buy tea, coffee or chocolate, you are making a choice. Make your choice count against poverty. words: sarah davies

Lyrics Quiz
Another set of lyrics from our resident lyricist Amy Brown - this fortnight all from boyband songs. Answers are on page 32. I can’t deny what I believe, I can’t be what I’m not. 2. I’ll be home soon back in your arms to hear you say that 3. You pierced my emotional armour. Bolt of lightning couldn’t hit me harder. 4. We got you heads bumping, now you’re jumping from your seats. 5. What’s the secret that you’ve been hiding. 6. And he who laughs last owes you sweet nothing. 7. Don’t you know we’ve come too far now. 8. People say I’m crazy and that I am blind. 9. Don’t wanna be the loser and I’ve had enough. 10. So I tried a different line that meant the same. 1.

How many words can you find in the word University? Our sources tell us there are 174... Email us at barefacts@ussu.co.uk with your best attempts and you could win a pair of cinema tickets. Deadline: Friday 29th October!

UNIVERSITY

WINNERS!
Thanks to all those who entered last fortnight’s anagram competition. There were three winners: Fiona Stevenson, Helen Clark and Lucy Pope.

calendar
what’s on in guildford
At a loose end? Fancy a well-deserved break from study? Check out our guide to all that’s happening on campus and beyond over the next few weeks! Odeon Cinema For full listings, call 0871 22 44 007. Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford Monday 8th - Saturday 13th November Round the Horne... Revisited Box Office: 01483 440 000 www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk PATS Dance Studio Yolande Snaith’s new show Jardin Blanc Tickets: £10 (full/senior citizens), £5 concessions Box Office: 01483 686876 New Victoria Theatre, Woking Monday 1st - Saturday 6th November Journey’s End starring Philip Franks NOW BOOKING FOR PANTO 04/05!! Snow White & Seven Dwarfs, starring Linda Lusardi 10th December - 4th January Box Office: 01483 545900 or book online at www.theambassadors.com/ woking Friends International Saturday 23rd October: Country Walk 1:30pm - 6pm UniSport Centre Spectrum Leisure Centre Saturday 30th October 6pm Guildford Flames vs Peterborough Sunday 7th November 6pm Guildford Flames vs Fife Box Office: 01483 443333

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Guildford Book Festival Sunday 17th October - Sunday 31st October For full details, check out the programme at www.guildfordbookfestival.co.uk. Park Barn and Westborough Open Space Project Saturday 23rd October 10am - 1pm (including BBQ lunch) For more details, contact Vicki Hockley on 01483 689391

PERSONALS
After three editions of encouragement, we’ve finally been flooded with personals they seem to be back with a vengeance! To get your personal in the next edition, e-mail barefacts@ussu.co.uk with “personals” in the message line. New X-Men 3 Action Figures available to buy everywhere now. Get Nipplerine with his Deoderant Flamethrower. what, didn’t you orgasm?! Hey James! Remember Porn The MusicalWatersports has a whole new meaning!!!!!!! Ruthy Baby- she’s always watching!!! “Uptown Girl, She’s been living in her uptown world” he sang in the wardrobe!! Boy he really loves his Westlife songs!!! Graham get out that bush!!!! Cedric- officially the housewives favourite!! Big Up Radar, I mean Aida, no sorry Adi. Think we’ve just about got it now!!! What never to do: Try to teach two drunk girls how to play poker! Especially when they refuse to play the strip version!

Has anyone ever told you you look like Sean Penn?!! Claire and Louise- we want your men!!! Sorry for ever mocking your blue shirts. So a big sorry to Hugo and Yves!!! xx The titpod is near completion. No ones life will be the same again!! RatBoy! Penetration- is what you need, if you want to be a record breaker! To all you porn lovers out there- never rent Blue Hotel Three. I’d like to say it sucks but they don’t!!! Love It! Third nipples are the new black We miss you Rob! Big shout out to Cath court 3a floor 1! Keep the tradition alive, win the best decorated kitchen competition this christmas! Love & kisses, the previous occupants x Beware of the hairy mooms - they’ll steal your razors as soon as look at you!!! GPA boys are HOT! Get ready for Penis time on Wednesday afternoons! Jokes and Lies

I wanna be where the sea creatures are! Hey Aladdin and Jasmine, how’s the Genie chair working out for you!!! Get out right now! must be the stockings Rich, buy some tobasco sauce..... Anyone want a bacon sarnie? Rich, stay away from our hoover! “its union, not rubix” Freshers its not called Rubix, its the UNION Say the UNION!!!! No more Rubix!!!! To the sexy lecturer with the cute glasses, are you just flirting or are you serious? Let me know. The pretty ones are always gay. Everyone go out and buy Darren Hayes new album. Robbie Williams’ new single... wtf? My gorgeous N, thank you for your endless support, help and affection. Without you, I might miss the bluebells along the forest path. With faithful love, D. i am, i’m not, i am, i’m not, i am, i’m not, I AM, NOT, AM, AM NOT!”

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film

barefacts@ussu.co.uk
The crucial thing is though, that they need hosts to breed – Which could affect their numbers. A brief look at the Alien films… Alien: Horror/Suspense Aliens: Action/Suspense Alien 3: It would appear 1 + 2 don’t equal 3 Alien Resurrection: Slapstick

22 10 04
stupider and stupider, not that it was too plausible in the beginning and the ending’s more Jurassic Park than either Alien or Predator. I wasn’t expecting sense when I sat down in the cinema, but I doubt I was meant to laugh out loud as much as I did, getting louder as the film rolled on. There are a few sort of ‘fan boy’ moments where it references past films (Lance Henriksen playing Charles Bishop Weyland is the biggest) but for the most part it’s just a watered down version of the films that precede it. Actually, despite the large numbers of actors in it, I don’t feel like talking about any of them. They’re all immaterial to/ upstaged by dodgy CGI alien beings. Stupid plot aside (I knew the outcome before I even entered the cinema), it was enjoyable to watch… which as usual is really what you watch films for. All the fallacies in the plot were caused by the inclusion of humans we made this movie what it is, shame on us. A movie where the predators took on the aliens with no dialogue (neither races are especially verbal) or humans would probably have worked out more highbrow. If you were expecting that, you’ll be disappointed – If you expecting alien-infused action you’ll enjoy yourself, just don’t expect anything too sensible.

This week it would appear we’re staring at two works by Paul W.S. Anderson (no, not him that did Boogie Nights), an Englishman who’s well, pretty much ‘made it’ in America. Unfortunately he seems to have made it by doing movie adaptations of video games (his first big movie was Mortal Kombat… eek)

Predator

Alien vs. Predator
Alien + Predator – Suspense + Unintentional Humour Yes, I know this strictly didn’t start life as a computer game but this fusion of two of eighties cinema’s biggest sci-fi hits (I know Alien was ’79… leave me alone) has manifested itself as one, the general concept of these two extra-terrestrial naughties going head-to-head has been in people’s minds and the drawing boards for ages. It’s the “Who would win out of…” that you’re pretty sure you overheard two spotty youths talking about in the video shop. And now it’s here. Most may have some appreciation of who is fighting who, but for those who don’t, here’s kind of a run down of the contestants…

Large humanoid-ish alien species who like hunting things. The only thing they have more of than honour is weaponry (spears, shoulder mounted guns, throwing star-like-things). Despite appearances they’re not just 7ft tall Rastafarian robots. A brief look at the Predator films… Predator: Took on Arnie... sort of lost Predator 2: Killed by Danny Glover

Us

Alien

Nasty Xenomorphs and the bane of Ellen Ripley’s existence. No weapons of any sort – just claws and teeth and usually abundance in numbers. I could go on for pages about Alien life cycles and the like, but these things (to an extent) do get covered in the film.

Ah, and finally comes the human race. Back when those young oiks were supposing who would win out of Alien and Predator they probably didn’t think that we’d be there too (well some may have had visions of glorious executive boxes, like at a football match, where they may eat their popcorn and watch the mess of alien limbs appear in comfort and safety). I’d prefer it if we weren’t. The moment humans are put into a movie with alien beings only one ending’s really going to come of it, which is disappointing to me. The set up is thus, a group of explorers trek out to a remote Antarctic island where there supposedly lies ‘the first pyramid’ 2,000 odd feet under the ice. However when the team get there they find themselves the unwilling filling in an Alien/Predator sandwich. The team then struggle to escape the first pyramid as Aliens and Predators wage their war around them.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
(Zombies + Computer Game Sensibilities) - Bad Dialogue + Worse Dialogue

A sequel, of a film based on a computer game – alarm bells are well and truly ringing. After the events of the first the big evil Umbrella corporation are going back into the underground ‘Hive’ lab to see what the problem was – inadvertently From the beginning the film gradually gets letting the ambling dead out and

film
the appeal. All I know is I’d rather not endure it in a movie. Some of the stunts beg belief, the set of church scenes for example: I actually found myself going ‘You what!?’ in disbelief as I watched a girl on a motorbike smash through a church stained glass window for no good reason. infecting the whole of Raccoon city. The city’s now been barricaded in an effort to stop the infection, but it’s no use – The evil heads of Umbrella have sent in the nukes, the city’s to be levelled at sunrise. Guess it’s up to the people trapped inside to find their own way out… Luckily all the people trapped inside look and act exactly like the computer game characters from the Resident Evil series of games they’re based on. Sort of makes me wonder if I can talk about their acting… as you’d expect it’s not very good (Milla Jovovich comes close to acting I suppose). But then you can’t really expect Oscar-winning turns when you’re in a ridiculously short dress, knee-high boots and shooting things. The film looks right, the style, the characters, it’s all too close to being a computer game for it’s own good. Less movie, more watching someone play their play station in real time. Then reality kicks in due to the really bad dialogue. I mean it. I don’t usually like writing things like this, but the dialogue is that bad. It would appear we’ve finally reached the point where someone shooting a dog and proclaiming “Stay” with some kind of macho sneer makes people neither gasp or laugh. I’ve never played Resident Evil (gasp?) but due to the success it’s received I’d like to think the characters didn’t go a r o u n d u t t e r i n g clichés on this level – or maybe they do, maybe that’s In its defence though, this film is far more faithful to the games than the first and I’ve already lauded its similarity to a computer game - but at the end of the day, it’s not enough. It may be of interest to hardcore zombie movie fans, though I’d think your average hardcorezombie-fan might look on in disgust. It’s disposable, bad and it would appear the Odeon have chosen not to show this film on any of their screens, so this review, this confession, has meant nothing. This isn’t over though. In the trailers for this film the computer-game-to-film mess ‘House Of The Dead’ was advertised. From the trailer it seems to be working from the assumption that what the recent rash of Zombie films was missing was martial arts and bullet time special effects. I feel nauseous.
words: neil boulton, film editor

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that our audience really want to see, but might not otherwise be able to get to. We get a lot of feedback, and requests, whenever we hold a film season, so hopefully we’re getting the programme right.” Art-house hits include The Return, winner of the Golden Lion for Best Film in Venice last year, the eerie and engrossing I’m Not Scared, and the serene yet gripping Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter & Spring. Documentaries range from the acclaimed The Story of the Weeping Camel, set in the Gobi Desert, to Deep Blue, set in the oceans of the world and filmed by the team responsible for The Blue Planet. For something more controversial, take a bite into Supersize Me, the horrifying and hilarious documentary about a man who resolves to eat only McDonalds meals for a month; or Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore’s Palme D’Or Award-winning examination of the Iraq war. To book tickets or for an information leaflet, call the Yvonne Arnaud Box Office (Millbrook, Guildford; Mon to Sat 10am to 8pm) on 01483 44 00 00 or www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.
Mon 1st November 6pm Deep Blue 8.30pm Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Tuesday 2nd November 6pm The Story of the Weeping Camel 8.30pm The Life and Death of Peter Sellers Wednesday 3rd November 6pm The Return 8.30pm Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... and Spring Thursday 4th November 3pm The Life and Death of Peter Sellers 6pm Nicholas Nickleby 8.30pm Fahrenheit 9/11 Friday 5th November 3pm Wimbledon 6pm The Motorcycle Diaries 8.30pm Stage Beauty Saturday 6th November 1.45pm King Arthur 4pm Supersize Me 6pm Wimbledon 8.30pm The Village Sunday 7th November 1.45pm I’m Not Scared 4pm Stage Beauty 6pm The Terminal 8.30pm The Motorcycle Diaries

(Sort of a) Film Festival
The Yvonne Arnaud theatre in town is doing a sort of film-week. So for one week there’ll be more than just the Odeon showing films. Hurrah! Most of the line-up however are films which have already, or still are, showing at the Odeon. I do recommend seeing Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (I know it’s out on DVD now/soon but some people like me enjoying watching things on big screens). I was going to write about it, but the press release is quite apt & succinct. So here it is: From November 1 – 7, the theatre will show 16 films on its big screen. The lineup includes everything from the latest bigscreen hits to documentaries and foreignlanguage hits. A spokesman for the theatre said that short seasons of films were now a regular feature in the Yvonne Arnaud calendar, and had proved extremely popular. “This is our chance to show films

24

albums

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

JAMES YORKSTON AND THE ATHLETES
Somewhere Beyond The River Domino

TEARS IN X-RAY EYES
The Way We Live Now Test Tube Records
The minimalist pink, grey and white sleeve gives nothing away. Sharing the same love of physics and retro machine as Grandaddy this 2nd album saunters through its glassfragile and eclectic electronica in the background well when you’re working, sadly in the process completely failing to be memorable. Don’t be so beautiful, shares it’s mellow with Damien Rice but is lyrically similar to Turin Brakes. Electricity is possibly the best song for its powerful sense of urgency and seems glossier than the rest. I was disappointed that more of the album wasn’t similar since he could be a pretty decent set if he lost the depression. An acquired taste. ** m.c.

TALIB KWELI
The Beautiful Struggle Rawkus

Despite being signed to the same label as Franz Ferdinand, James Yorkston and The Athletes are a long way away from the world of angular rock and eyeliner. Their elegantly crafted modern folk songs are very easy to allow to slip unobtrusively into the background but reveal a surprising amount of beauty on closer inspection too. Yorkston’s soft but confident vocals suit the laidback band perfectly, and, once getting over the banjos and accordions present, the wistful brilliance of the likes of Surf Song and The Snow It Melts The Soonest shine. The surprise pleasure of the week. **** i.f.

Any true hiphoppers in the place? Anyone reminisce on the rise and fall of Rawkus Records? Anyone love the first Black Star album like it was an old friend or a slice of chocolate cheesecake? Fair enough, this is a uni paper, and the answers to the above are probably ‘No, no and who?’ To the unitiated, Kweli has always represented the more intelligent side of hiphop, with enough character and musical integrity to create powerful music, oft joined on the mic by Mos Def. To cut a long story short, this album is disappointing. Lyrically, its incredible, but the beats are throwaway and monotonous, apart from contributions from Kanye West and Just Blaze. Save your money and buy the Black Star album. **.c.l.d.

LE TIGRE
This Island Universal
This CD would appear to be a fine exponent of “Not judging a book by its cover” because behind the worrying artwork of ‘The high school prom that went wrong’ hides a female fronted politically-minded feminist synth-heavy punk-rock amalgamation. Well, when I say ‘punk’ it’s not really the ‘punk’ people who say they like punk would enjoy… but you can tell it’s there from the guitar driven openers One The Verge/Seconds to the almost-aptly titled Punker Plus. New Kicks shamelessly drives in the anti-war/US Foreign policy statements (“This is what democracy sounds like”) - the sort of music Madonna wishes she could make. *** n.b.

MAD CAPSULE MARKETS
CiSTm K0nFLiqT… Gut
Digitally infused loud punk rock from Japan is the name of the game here - Punk drumming, simple guitars and an odyssey of blips and bleeps. The rising synths of opener RETALK are quite compelling and things get poppyer with the pretty miss-titled SCARY. But if you’ve heard either of the bands last two/ three albums you’ll know what to expect. The synth elements may be a tad tranceier but recording pretty much the same album for the best part of ten years can’t be healthy. I like it to bits; I just wish it was different to it’s precedents. **** n.b.

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS
Songbook - The Singles Epic
I’ll be honest here, I’ve never been much of a Super Furries fan (ever since I bought Guerilla and realised it was mainly crap), but listening to this, it’s hard not to admire the sheer eclecticism and innovation. The songs on here range right from the almost normal rock of Golden Retriever and Do Or Die, to the electronica of Ice Hockey Hair and Play It Cool, to the ballads (Juxtapozed With U, Fire In My Heart), to the pretty summer tunes (Northern Lites, (Drawing) Rings Around the World) all the way through to the two tracks off their Welsh album Mwng (Ysbeidiau Heulog and Blerwytirhwng?). As best ofs go, this is absolutely superb, well worth spending your hard-earned student loan on. **** j.a.

This week’s reviews have been written by Jon Allen and Dina Mystris, the Music Editors, Neil Boulton, Sam Carney, Matthew Conacher, Jon Darzi, Corin L Douieb, Christopher Driscoll, Beth Heale, Duncan Hills, James Newell, Anna

Shaw and Peter Wigfield

singles
THE ROOTS
I Don’t Care
Having discovered The Roots at Reading this summer, I wasn’t disappointed by this, the first single from their sixth album, ‘The Tipping Point’. The bassline is indeed ‘pumping’ and this soulful example of intelligent hip hop is bound to get heads nodding. I’m off to buy the album now. **** b.h.

25

DHARMA DRIVE
Future and Glory
What is audio porn actually supposed to sound like? To me, this implies moans, groans, and squelching noises. ‘Audio Porn’ however, sounds much more like an upbeat merge of Lightning Seeds, Smashing Pumpkins, Jane’s Addiction and many more besides. Not really that erotic then. Puddle Song finishes the album off nicely, with more la-la’s than Hey Jude. But should you find it sexually exciting, I recommend you get out more. *** r.h.

THE DEPARTURE
Be My Enemy
Sounds like Franz Ferdinand sandwiched with The Rapture, but in a good way. The lyrical content is easy to relate to, its about not being false towards the people you know. Musically it is positively self indulgent producing a decent record. They’re a band on the up after recently supporting The Killers. *** s.c.

Audio Porn EP

THE ZUTONS
Don’t Ever Think (Too Much) DeltaSonic
Outside the popular music world, the phrase ‘infectious’ rarely carries positive connotations. And while the chirpy vocal-echoing sax and the chorus’s repeated studentfriendly refrain of the song’s title are undeniably that, whether to regard Don’t Ever Think… as a welcome mood brightener or an undesirable irritant is entirely a matter of personal taste. *** j.d.

HIDDEN CAMERAS
I Believe In the Good of Life. Rough Trade
As the name of the song suggests this Canadian group are as optimistic as you can musically get. Luckily sharp lyrics redeem the band from sounding like dodgy tambourine wielding Mississippian country church choir folk. A song about the pains of democracy and stolen underpants is something that should be embraced. **** c.d.

THE OTHERS Stan Bowles Infected
“URGH! What the f**k is that?!? What a dreadful voice! Poor thing, sounds like his sinuses are all blocked up….this is crap…. So why have I just put it on repeat??? …I don’t want to like this song, damn it! ….Hmmm I might buy the album.” A good, punkier take, on current British rock. Frustratingly catchy. **** d.h.

THE BEES
One Glass of Water Virgin
There has been a fair amount of praise for The Bees recently but they are really going to have to do better than this. The chorus just drags and is sung with so little punch that it just sinks into the background. Recording the song in some kind of old/ retro style doesn’t help and just makes it sound badly recorded. Sappy. ** d.h.

RAMMSTEIN
Amerika Universal
Exactly the anthem-like, powerful, catchy single, which Rammstein fans were waiting for. Nothing out of the ordinary, just an outstanding live track which will inevitably get crowds, both here and in Germany, jumping like crazy on their forthcoming tour. **** j.n.

GOOD CHARLOTTE
Predictable
Sounding as though they’ve regurgitated their last single whilst trying to grow up, ‘Predictable’ has ended up being, well, predictable. To give them their due, Good Charlotte have produced another passable pop song, but the bridge/ monologue towards the end sounds extremely fake and juvenile. I had hoped to be surprised, I wasn’t. ** b.h.

Since Good Charlotte have released a new album, we’ve been lucky enough to get our hands on some t-shirts to give away. All you have to do get these wonderful items is email barefactsmusicteam@hotmail.com with the answer to this question: What is the first single off the Chronicles of Life and Death called?

Fancy reviewing CDs for the barefacts music pages? Than drop Jon and Dina (the music editors) an e-mail on barefactsmusicteam@hotmail.com or pop along to the CD handout session on Monday 25th October in the Media Centre at 5.15pm!

26

live

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

THE MUSIC

Hammersmith Palais Thurs 7th October
The Music have always been acclaimed as one of the best live bands around, but following the recent release of their album Welcome to the North it seems that they have taken everything up a notch. They are still in their own little niche of rock-music-thatyou-can-dance-to, but now the melodies have that extra power and drive behind them to back up Robert Harvey’s trademark yearning vocals, pushing the tunes towards territory occupied by the likes of Jane’s Addiction and U2. Tonight, the opening song is The Dance, which sets the tone in name alone. As their phenomenal set passes through the powerful Welcome to the North and the downright outrageous funk of The People, I try to think back to the last time I saw a crowd of people dancing quite this hard, but as the evening continues, I have to give up thinking and just join in. Then, as the last few notes of Freedom Fighters ring out, Harvey mumbles an introduction to Bleed From Within. “This one’s about passion, not fashion”, and in one single sentence has summed up just about everything that makes The Music what they are. To look at, they seem like some random collection of Northern scallies. To listen to, they are somewhere in between the baggy scene of the 90’s and mainstream American rock (particularly the AC/DC-esque stadium ballad One Way In, No Way Out) with super-funky drum beats heavy on the hi-hat thrown in. Nothing particularly fashionable at all, seeing as the only bands it appears ‘cool’ to dance to at the moment are either the punk-funk outfits from New York (Radio 4, LCD Soundsystem, The Rapture) or the wave of 80’s loving, artfunkers from Scotland (Franz Ferdinand, The Futureheads and at a push Dogs Die in Hot Cars). It’s bands like The Music that give you faith in an indie music scene that is currently way too reliant on tight jeans and Converse All-Stars/sharp suits and skinny ties. Here’s hoping that Welcome to the North is the album to send them into global superstardom, they certainly deserve it. j.a.

KAISER CHIEFS Camden Electric Ballroom Weds 13th October With a recent support tour with Franz Ferdinand under their belts, Kaiser Chiefs have had a great experience in getting crowds wound up for acts somewhat bigger than themselves. Experience that showed in tonights slot, in support of The Ordinary Boys. Their tunes, rather like Dogs Die in Hot Cars, are heavily influenced by XTC and Dexys Midnight Runners, but the vocals have a fantastic old-school punk punch to them. Their energy whipped the crowd up superbly, peaking as singer Nick literally jumped into new single I Predict A Riot and then as they left us with their debut, Oh My God. Brilliant stuff. j.a.

I think these quotes say it all really…

Live at Rubix Coming up... Tuesday 26th October: MONKEY BOY

“...bizarre, unique, stop start concoction of punk, blues and something else entirely” - Rock Sound “HELL’S primates! ...absolutely shit loads of selfdepreciating humour and some stonking tunes, means Monkey Boy really do stand out from the crowd” - Metal Hammer “...kind of like something slammed together in a garage and then sent clanking out into the world totally illequipped to deal with modernity but still armed with enough saw-tooth do-whats and oojimaflips to see off way more state-of-the-art competition” - Melody Maker http://www.monkeyboy.co.uk

CHERRYFALLS London ULU Fri 8th October As current up and coming bands go, Cherryfalls are one of the most promising. Blending melodies that make Snow Patrol sound tuneless with the guitar edginess of Bends-era Radiohead it can only be a matter of months before they are household names. Headlining ULU’s ‘Best Of The Live Room’, they put on the kind of performance that not even a crowd full of irritating obnoxiousrich-kid-student-fashion-clones could ruin, highlights of the set including forthcoming single In Your Arms Again (out on November 1st, hint hint) and their previous release Standing Watching. Keep an ear out for these guys. j.a.

TOKYO DRAGONS Camden Underworld 6th October 2004 The atmosphere in the small venue was electric. Even though Tokyo Dragons were in support of Oxford metallers Winnebago Deal, most of the crowd was clearly there to see them. A slow changeover from the opening act did not go down well with the impatient crowd, but when the band burst on stage everything changed. Wasting no time on introduction, they burst into ‘Teenage Screamers’, their incredible new single, and whipped up, almost instantaneously the most violent pit I’ve been in for a very long time. The rest of their set was a blur of great rock and roll songs, which kept the crowd truly enthralled until the end. An awesome display, from an awesomely talented band. Expect big things out of this band, who are genuinely going to shine when they start filling out the big arenas their music is designed to fit. j.n

literature 27
I don’t think my articles have been truly reflecting my personality of late. My problem is that I’m generally obliged to review books I enjoyed reading, which denies my true, bitter and misanthropic colours the opportunity to shine through. I’m going to go off at a tangent this week and let my pen release nothing but caustic invective at those terrible yet inexplicably popular sacred cows of the book world which – I believe – suck.
already. And had he been alive now, he could have locked himself in his room and listened to Linkin Park. If it’s satire, it doesn’t work. If not…I weep. dropped something” and have 200 pages of thrills, spills, and 18th century high society shenanigans before ending with “and then it hit the ground” I’ll be boring English students for centuries to come. Who can tell?

Pride and Prejudice

Jane Austen
Jane Austen’s writing style reminds me of my own, which I find to be terrifying. It’s not wholly impenetrable, although you can almost hear her flicking through her Roget’s so each word can be as abstruse and polysyllabic (see, I do it too) as possible. That’s no problem as such – there’s a reason there’s no Children’s Ladybird edition. No, it lies in the fact that you can predict the exact ending from the first chapter – nay, the first SENTENCE is sufficient. “A man….must be wanting a wife.” Well, Holmes, perhaps he gets a sodding wife in the end?! Why all these extra pages filled with drivel and tosh? Won’t somebody think of the trees? Maybe I’m being unfair, and all this was new and fresh in 1795. Just as Isaac Asimov seems clichéd today because every sci-fi writer since 1940 ripped him off somehow, so may it be with Austen and the writers of cardboard rom-coms, Mills and Boon stories, and messages inside fortune cookies. Or maybe if I start a novel with “One day someone

Interview with a Vampire

Anne Rice
This is more of an ideological difference. “IV” on its own isn’t so bad. It’s basically a D.H. Lawrence novel with a genuinely interesting subject matter. I’ve theorized that such a book might be the best one ever. Evidently the public seemed to agree – replace horny, introspective Edwardian women with horny, introspective French vampires, keep the long descriptive passages and you have a winner. But this book is the reason Anne Rice has grown into an ego-monster reminiscent of Jabba the Hutt. People told her she was not only a moderate smarty-pants, but a true genius, and they kept it up for 25 years, and it went to her head and she fired her editor and forgot what paragraphs are and the results are dreadful. All her recent works are..well, porn, and crappy porn at that. She recently read a bad review of her latest offering “Blood Canticle” on Amazon.com and went insane, posting a hilariously arrogant chapter-length rant in reply. It’s available on www.annerice.com and comes highly recommended. “Blackwood Farm” meanwhile, in which a 17 year old boy wants to have sex with everything (normal) and then does (horrifying, sickeningly abnormal) just made me feel resentful. At their creative peak Nick Drake and Kurt Cobain had the good sense to kill themselves, before the inevitable decline. If only Ms. Rice had thought like that. Here’s hoping. I’ve had to leave out Atlas Shrugged, the Harry Potter series, The Silmarillion and a few other books. If you want to (dis)agree with me on any of them, drop me a line at ph21av@surrey.ac.uk because I’d love to hear your opinions and value them highly. Honest. words: arvind virdee, literature editor

The Catcher in the Rye

JD Salinger
I was going to start with a witty parody, but my work has already been done by some reviewer on amazon.com. Technically, there’s nothing wrong with the bare content of the story. Joyce and Dostoevsky made masterpieces out of far less eventful slices of everyday life. Catcher could have been halfway decent if not for a problem of perspective. That is, it’s written from the wrong one, that of the antihero. This brain-dead personage has just been expelled from boarding school for, in essence, being an idiot. He then proceeds to blame his idiocy, in long rambling passages, on everybody in the entire world. JD Salinger effectively captures the voice of this angsty and restless teen by the subtle technique of writing “goddamn” every third word and calling everything “phoney”. Holden Caulfield, for that is his name, then has a whole string of worthless adventures which serve to drive his unmitigated foolishness all the way home. When his old teacher (loved, trusted and known for so many years) finally gets round to sexually molesting him, you’ll fall off your chair with laughter, so richly does he deserve it. Poor Holden, it seems, was simply born at the wrong time. Had he been alive in 1840 he could have grabbed himself a runaway slave and set off down the Mississippi, only someone wrote a better book about that

Too Long; Didn’t Read
This week: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
“Jack and Jill McGorgeous are incredibly intelligent and sexy genius entrepreneurs in a nightmare future where the evil socialists are planning to eat their livers with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. PS I am insane, ignore me”

Give money to charity, gamble without losing any money, AND have a great evening. How? The upcoming Casino Night in the University Hall… Money goes towards Cancer Research UK, a well worthwhile charity organisation. As cancer is diagnosed in one in three, there’s a strong chance it would directly benefit you, or someone you know in the future. The Night will be on the 6th November. You simply buy a ticket for £20, and this entitles you to £100 worth of “fun money” to gamble with. You DON’T need to know how to gamble – professional croupiers will be available to teach you how to play a variety of games, including blackjack, roulette, and poker. The more “fun money” you win, the better chance you have of winning a prize at the end of it all. Prizes include bottles of wine, beer, Union tickets, meals in Guildford, a meal or hamper in the Lakeside Restaurant, trips to Madame Taussauds, Paintballing, and a day at the races! You would be a complete fool to pass up the opportunity to do something good, and have fun at the same time. Whilst having a break from the gaming, you can indulge in free canapés all evening whilst sipping your favorite cocktail, available from the cocktail bar (open ‘til midnight), listening to the Juniper Hill Blues Band, and watching all your favorite Ocean’s Eleven cast in action on the big screen! Come along and enjoy this rare chance to dress up in your very own ‘Vegas chic’, and experience the elegance and adrenaline of a top-class casino in a transformed University Hall. Tickets available, again for just £20, from the Union shop, Fridays in the management school (11am to 2pm), or by emailing ms31kj@surrey.ac.uk, where someone will arrange to give you the tickets in person! If you have any queries please email ms31kj@surrey.ac.uk and your questions will be answered, or visit www.20to1events.tk for more information. In case you wanted a reason why Cancer Research UK should be given your money, here are a few: Cancer Research UK aims to reduce the number of people getting cancer, their vision is to conquer cancer through world-class research, aiming to control the disease within two generations. Cancer Research UK aim to carry out world-class research into the biology and causes of cancer. Cancer Research UK funds more than 35 clinical research centres based within major hospitals throughout the UK. These clinical research units make significant contributions to improvements in the clinical management and treatment of most types of cancer. Cancer is a highly complex disease that is still only partly understood. Only through a better understanding of the disease will the improved treatments, diagnostics and prevention strategies of the future be developed. In short, they need funding to carry out these worthwhile causes. You get a great evening’s entertainment, they get some money to continue their cause – two huge reasons to go and have some fun.

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GU2 Radio 1350 am/MW

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GU2 Weekly Schedule
Mon 0000 0100 0200 0300 0400 0500 0600 0700 0800 0900 1000 1100 1200 1300 1400 1500 1600 Attiba and Andy Scoot and Mental Judge Mental Alex, Jennie and Gemma Piers Karsenbarg Big Al and the Sex Machine Drivetime With Jay The TNT Show Danielle and Paul Owen and Lloyd Sport Show with TugPlaylist with muck a Twist Jon Skinner Love in the Afternoon Drivetime With Jay The Essence, John Miller Chart Show Sunday Service Breakfast with Dave Breakfast with Tom and Graham Breakfast with Dave Breakfast with Tom and Graham Breakfast with Dave Sarah Horsley GU2 Non-Stop Music Jazz Revolution Tues Wed Phill Nathan Thurs Fri Sat Sun

60s and 70s Show

Big Al’s Personal Playlist Sexmick Cheese

Leroy Presents... Alex Collins and CRISPY

1700

Drivetime With Jay

1800 1900 2000 2100 2200 2300 Dusty Crates Show Genrelessimo

Off the Beaten Track

Audio Ambush - requests Old Skool Anthems Audio Ambush - D&B Nosh

Old Skool Anthems Cyclone Dance Show

Cyclone Dance Show Da Jump Off Da Jump Off International Show Phill Nathan Kirsty Dodd Tom Norman Ian Hill (Gash)

So Surprising with Xan Phillips Lazy Sunday Jazz Revolution

GU2 Radio 1350 am/MW 31
Who‛s Who @ GU2
This fortnight... ... a Fresh Edition!
Firstly please introduce yourself, and what do you do at GU2? Hi, my name is Fi Poole and I am a second year Business Management student. I joined the GU2 team this year in the marketing department and I will be running for the committee position of Deputy of Marketing at the next EGM. What first caught your attention about GU2? I really have. It is such a diverse group of people, with different interests and talents, that I thought I wouldn’t get on with everyone but we all seem to mesh well and work well together (I hope!). Are you another one of those crazy presenters everyone listens to? No, I’m afraid not. I work ‘behind the scenes’ at GU2 and try and stay as far away from the mic as possible, even though I have been roped into it once, which was an interesting experience. Any advice for people wanting to get involved with GU2? Do it! I am so glad I approached the station and asked to get involved as I feel I have learnt so much already. You don’t need to have any experience in the area that you want to join, just willingness and enthusiasm. You will be surprised how much you learn about yourself.

I actually read about GU2 in the first edition of barefacts this year. There was an advert for positions in marketing within the station and I thought this could be a really good opportunity to extend my interest in this area and also put some of my knowledge into practice. I admit I did not know anything about GU2 before I joined the Finally, what 3 words would best describe you? team but now I am an avid listener and I am getting to know about all areas of the station, not just marketing. Ummm…let’s see. Talkative, approachable and I thought getting involved with a radio station was practical! something unusual and I also knew it would be a good For more info on all things opportunity to meet some new people and get some practical experience. GU2 visit www.gu2.co.uk. How did you find settling into GU2? Absolutely fine! Everyone has made me feel so welcome at GU2, it seems like I have been there a lot longer then

Meetings every Thursday 6.15pm LTE. Everyone welcome!

This month of October sees GU2 in the middle of a brand spanking new piece of marketing genius. GU2 FRESH has landed! GU2 FRESH is the first in a series of month long promotions, the brain child of the 2004/05 Marketing Team, which is headed by Graham Chipande. Graham’s team includes Natalie, Fiona and Ric, and is primarily tasked with promoting GU2 to the students of the University of Surrey. GU2 FRESH is an entire month of FRESH new faces, FRESH talent and FRESH music from all your favourite artists. GU2 FRESH is showcasing the newest home-grown talent right here in Surrey and you can catch all the FRESHest shows on GU2 24 hours a day 7 days a week on 1350AM/MW. Next month the team will be bringing you GU2 LIVE, which if you can’t guess is where GU2 are focussing on LIVE acts and performances. November will no doubt see many more outside broadcasts from Rubix on Live! Nights and the play-lists will be changed accordingly to reflect this emphasis. If you would like to talk to anyone on the marketing team please do drop them an email on marketing@gu2.co.uk. Make sure you try out GU2, check the schedule out on the opposite page and tune into 1350AM/MW to get FRESH!

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32 web web

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

Those of you returning this year will have noticed a small difference with the way that events are announced. Gone are the days of being able to open barefacts and see what’s happening in the union nightclub. Now it’s all gone hi-tech, with the launch of the Grapevine. So, what is it? Put simply it’s a once-a-week email that tells you about everything that’s going on in Rubix over the next 7 days. But it doesn’t just give you info about events. It also gives you exclusive information about tickets so you can buy them before anyone else even knows they’re on sale.

Mousetrap

“FLash…aaah...”

So by now everyone should be wading through essays, lab experiments, presentations and other rubbish academic stuff, so if like me you’re getting tired of reading long words which make no sense, the web offers welcome relief. In fact, Flash is so good at providing this relief that I feel that we should have a day each year where we celebrate its invention. It has made the web a better place to waste time. [wordcount.org] will while away a good few minutes of your time: it’s a really neat animation containing 86,000 words of the english dictionary in order of their commonality. The most obscure word I could think of was semiquaver, which comes in at 76,781. There are tons of games out there. If you’re a mega drive fan you can play sonic the hedgehog online at [ebaumsworld.com/sonic.html. The gameplay and music are both really faithful to the original. Visit [davidandgoliathtees.com/games/throwrocks.html] to throw rocks at boys (because we are rubbish), and there’s a fiendishly difficult try-not-to-get-electrocuted game at [kmb.com.hk/chi/wonder/ finaleasy0110.swf]. Flash is a pretty useful tool for making music videos, as utilised by Lodger [koti.welho.com/alaari/lodger/] on their track ‘I Love Death’, and The Concretes’ ‘You Can’t Hurry Love’ which you can find at [lickingfingers.com/downloads.php]. Both of these are fantastic. And then there’s just the weird stuff: [weebls-stuff.com/toons] contains some great stuff – including the now famous Weebl and Bob and the frightening Salad Fingers. It’s an absolute must-see. [angryalien.com] have 30 second flash versions of The Exorcist, The Shining, Titanic, Alien and Jaws. All acted out by rabbits… and surprisingly accurate, too. Just don’t blame me when you lose all your social skills and fail your degree…
words: simon pearson

And how do you sign up? Simply go to ussu.co.uk/grapevine. Fill in your email address and bob may or may not be your mother’s brother. You can expect to receive the events listing and receive your tickets before anyone else. What more do you want? Finally, we’re now getting close to the 1000th subscriber. If you’re that person then you’ll win free entry to all Rubix events for the rest of the semester. So hurry up, subscribe and win!
words: piers karsenbarg

Do you want to develop your web skills? Fancy being part of the www.ussu.co.uk webteam? Or maybe just taking photographs at Rubix events for the photo gallery? Then email Piers, webmaster extraordinaire, at cs11pk@surrey.ac.uk

Answers to lyric quiz 1.Boyzone – No Matter What 2. Take That – Everything Changes 3. 911 – Bodyshakin’ 4. Five – Got the Feeling 5. Westlife – Fool Again 6. Bros – I Owe You Nothing 7. East 17 – Stay Another Day 8. Backstreet Boys – As Long As You Love Me 9. N-Sync – Bye Bye Bye 10. 3T – I Need You

careers 33

uss replies ... Dr. R
I know what type of work I’d like to do. How do I find employers who’d want me? A convenient place to start is by using a Careers Directory such as Prospects. We have free copies of these in the Careers Service and the information they contain is also available on www.prospects.ac.uk. You could use the index to find out who is recruiting graduates for the type of work you have in mind. Something else you can do is check the Vacancy Bulletins which you will find on the table just as you come into the Careers Service. These summarise the most recent information we have received from employers about the graduates they will need next year. You can also see this information on the Careers Service home page at http://portal.surrey.ac.uk/careers. How can I find more information about employers? Most employers, well certainly the larger ones anyway, carry their graduate recruitment information on their web site. You can access this conveniently through the webbased version of our vacancy bulletin because we provide links to employer sites wherever possible. Many employers produce career brochures as well so if you’d prefer to look at a paper version we often have at least a reference copy

in the Careers Service. I must mention though that the majority of employers who send us brochures or vacancy information at this time of year are major graduate recruiters. You can also meet employers when they visit. A list of those attending is updated on the Careers Service website. What if I wanted to work for a smaller organisation? It’s a bit early to apply to smaller employers since they tend to work on a shorter time-scale. A mail-shot which included your CV and a covering letter around March or April next year would probably receive a more positive response. You could also, by then, begin to use current vacancy lists such as the Immediate Vacancies Bulletin which we produce in the Careers Service. There are also useful directories such as Kompass which list smaller employers. Got any other tips? Just one. I invariably see students every year who have failed to get job offers because they have only applied to employers who are ‘household names’. The competition for these is intense. By all means include them in your list, but consider whether it would also be in your interests to first research and then apply to a few you’ve never heard of. They often have some great jobs on offer for which they simply don’t get enough applicants.
words: russ clark, careers service

CAREERS EVENTS COMING UP...
BUNAC MONDAY 25 OCTOBER 6PM LT M

A broad themed presentation for those thinking about working and travelling abroad but uncertain about where to go and what to do. See www.bunac.org for more information.

weeks 8 and 9
METRONET* THURSDAY 28 OCTOBER 6.30 PM LT M

A repeat of the workshop on 20 October designed to help you develop an effective interview technique. MVA* THURSDAY 4 NOVEMBER 6 PM IN LT F Multi-disciplinary international transport consultancy.

HOW TO SURVIVE THE INTERVIEW* WEDNESDAY 3 NOVEMBER 2 – 4.30 PM LT B

Interview Techniques: What should you do and say in an interview? In this session you will receive information on the do’s and don’ts of interviews and an insight into interview techniques.

PRICEWATERHOUSECOOPERS* TUESDAY 26 OCTOBER 6PM LT E

A presentation for all engineering disciplines by this consortium of 5 world class companies involved in the development of the London Tube system.

The tests we run are parallel to those that many employers use as part of their selection process. There are 3 sections designed to test your logical thinking.

PRACTICE APTITUDE TEST* WEDNESDAY 27 OCTOBER 2.15 – 4.15 PM IN LT B

Large independent multi-disciplined engineering consultancy practice. Civil, Structural and Environmental Eng, Eng Geology, Geography, Town and Environment Planning.

PETER BRETT ASSOCIATES* MONDAY 1 NOVEMBER 6.15PM LT A

PRACTICE APTITUDE TEST* THURSDAY 4 NOVEMBER 6.15 – 8.15 PM LT B PRICEWATERHOUSECOOPERS* FRIDAY 5 NOVEMBER CAREERS SERVICE

All disciplines and all business areas.

IBM* (placements only) THURSDAY 28 OCTOBER 6 PM IN GRIFFITHS LECTURE THEATRE

Mock interviews, plus opportunity for feedback. Please submit your CV by Mon 1 Nov to Careers.

SAINSBURY’S* TUESDAY 2 NOV FROM 10 AM

Mock Interviews: If you have an interest in a career in finance at PwC, they will provide you with a mock interview and feedback. Please submit your CV to Careers by Fri 29 October.

* Please register with Careers if you wish to attend or email c.greaves@surrey.ac.uk

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alumni alumni

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04

Alumni events
For more information, visit www.surrey.ac.uk/alumni.

Surrey Alumni Society Golf Meeting on 13th October at Farnham Golf Club
Alumni, Friends, Staff and Students came together on Wednesday 13th October to play at the Alumni Society Golf Meeting at Farnham Golf Club. Despite some typical English weather, spirits remained high and a good day was had by all. Four teams played for The Friends’ Cup with alumni, friends and current & ex-staff playing against current students, many of whom are in the University Elite Squad. The student team, captained by Ben Palfrey not only won the cup again, but also School of Management student,

Alumni Society Fundraising
October sees the launch of the Alumni & Development Office’s second telephone campaign to raise money for the University of Surrey Annual Fund. Following a very successful campaign last year where £170,000 was pledged, it was decided to try it again for a second year. A team of 42 current students have been recruited, from all years, courses and both undergraduates and postgraduates and they will be contacting our Alumni to tell them about the University today and to encourage them to contribute to the Annual Fund. As well as raising funds, the campaign provides an ideal opportunity for the University to maintain relationships with our alumni and respond to their questions. The Annual Fund is used to help talented students obtain a university education, regardless of their background, through the provision of scholarships and essential financial support. The Fund is also used to enhance campus facilities beyond the scope of the University’s core funding. This year, we hope to call over 3000 alumni from all over the world, who graduated between 1950 and 1996. 20 students in two teams will be calling at each session and will be matched by subject studied and interests, where possible, with our alumni. They will be calling during weekday evenings and at weekends. The campaign began last weekend with a two day training session to prepare callers for their valued roles. Professor Peter Butterworth, the Vice-Chancellor’s Development Director and his team, hosted a lunch in the Lakeside restaurant and thanked the students for their efforts so far and wished them well in the coming weeks! The campaign will run from Monday 18th October to Saturday 13th November in the Nodus Centre.

Pictured left to right: Reg Duncan (SoM Staff), David Gray (Alumni & SoM Staff), Seb Bulpin (SoM) and Colin Roope(Computing)

More on Golf at UniS...
The University Of Surrey, in conjunction with The Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews, offers eight golfing bursaries per year to category one golfers both male and female. The University has student membership arrangements with Farnham and West Surrey Golf Clubs, two beautiful parkland courses set in the heart of Surrey, with excellent practice and coaching facilities. Farnham Golf Club is the venue for our golf teams’ home matches in the BUSA Championships. Golf at UniS is part of The Elite Sports Programme (ESP) which is an amalgamation of three concentrated areas of elite performance at the University. These are Squash, Golf, and Individual Sports Performers. A variety of resources, as well as financial aid, is available to those on the programme. Support and guidance is also available on University life and academic progression. For more information www.unisport.co.uk/elite _sports visit :

TELEPHONE CAMPAIGN UPDATE
42 students attended the training weekend and calling has now begun. We wish the students luck !

puzzles sport
Spot The Ball Competiton

35

This weeks Picture comes courtesy of the University’s Cricket Club. We have another Adidas gift set to give away to the first correct entant pulled out of a hat. All you have to do is quite simply circle the area of the picture that you think the ball is in and drop it in to the Media Centre by Monday 1st November. If you want to be really clever you could use the Online version and draw a circle round the ball and email it to barefacts@ussu.co.uk Congratulation to last week’s winner Mr Lowell Lewis who correctly identified the position of the ball.

UniSPORT Update
It’s not too late….
Have you bought your Gold Sports Card yet? Well it’s not too late. The membership lasts for one year from date of purchase so if you want to save yourself money and take advantage of the cards benefits then buy yours now. Don’t worry if you are going on placement either as you can freeze the membership for the duration you are away. Remember the card only costs £70 and enables the holder to play a number of sports including basketball, badminton and climbing, have unlimited use of the fitness club, access to club sessions, free access to fitness, dance and aerobic classes and discounts off most taught courses. Memberships can be purchased from the Sport Centre or the Varsity Centre. Also it is still not too late to join in on any of the classes or some courses which are not yet full. If you are not sure what classes and courses there are why not pick up a brochure or visit our website www.unisport.co.uk. us on Tuesday 9th November. Members get free entry. For further details contact the Varsity Centre on ext. 9242.

Class Profiles

Tap Tap like a dog! You’ve heard of Tap Dogs well now here’s your chance to test how coordinated your feet are! Campusdance run 3 tap courses for all abilities and after 10 weeks you’ll be the new Sammy Davis Jr. When: Thursday’s at 6.30pm-7.25pm (Tap I); 7.30pm-8.25pm (Tap II); 8.30pm-9.25pm (Tap III) Where: TB6, Cost: £20, Gold Card holders - £15 Another FREE class Streetdance Aerobics is now a class! Instead of joining for 10 weeks the course has now been turned into a class which means you can go free if you have a Gold Sports Card. When: Saturday’s at 1 – 1.55pm Where: Studio, Cost: £2 or free to members

UniSPORT Guildford lose season opener!

In a tough opening match against group favourites, UniSPORT Guildford lost their first match of the new national squash league season 4 – 1 away to Chichester. However, UniSPORT Guildford still has a chance of making the semi-finals this season with crucial matches against Team Solent and Oberthur Strings. This is a national event and if you want to see world class squash then why not come and support

What do you do at weekends?

Did you know UniSPORT run a number of classes at the weekend? In addition to streetdance aerobics there is also Saturday and Sunday aerobics as well as Kick aerobics. All these are free with membership. words: dan brown

36

sport sport

barefacts@ussu.co.uk

22 10 04 24 09 04

Men’s Rugby Off To A Flying Start
The University of Surrey Men’s rugby 1st XV began their 2004/2005 BUSA campaign in impressive style last Wednesday (13th October) with a 34 – 0 away victory over Westminster. On a wind and rain swept pitch near the Thames, the side ran in 5 tries with new French import Sylvain grabbing a hattrick in addition to tries from last year’s captain Peter Innes and men’s rugby tackling champion Dave White (Oleg). Winger Doug Lawrence landed 3 of his conversion attempts as well converting a penalty in an excellent kicking display under bad conditions. Surrey dominated the game right from the kick-off, containing the home side to their own 22 for an impressive 25 minute period - despite this early dominance, Surrey were unable to cross the try line due to Westminster’s hard tackling (leading to inside-centre Ben Lee obtaining a spiral break on his middle finger, meaning he’ll miss the next 2 fixtures). Surrey, however, showed their improvement from the previous season and persisted with some solid lineout and back line moves. They were rewarded on the 30th minute when Sylvain finished off a flowing team move to score near the posts. After this, the win never really looked in doubt, with Sylvain quickly scoring his second directly from the kick-off. The forwards were on good form with some bursting runs by second-row Ollie Blower (Angry) and No.8 Rob (Spade) right through the now deteriorating Westminster defensive lines. The flankers – Scottie and Oleg – both proved their attacking and defensive worth through some hard hits, with the latter touching down for the side’s third try just before the half-time break. The score at half-time read 19-0 after Doug narrowly missed his final conversion attempt from the touchline. Much of the team and travelling support were in a jovial mood, but Ceri Thomas captaining his first BUSA match reminded the team that there was still another half to be played and told everyone to stay focused. The team responded with an awesome tackling display when Westminster coming flying out the blocks after the break, with both backs and forwards putting in some tough hits. Surrey weathered out the period of Westminster pressure and then looked to attack once again, with the half-back combination of Ceri Thomas and Kenny calling shots. Despite Kenny’s scintillating runs into the opposition defence, the increasingly wet ball and increasingly annoying referee, meant more tries took a while in coming. Persistence pays, and halfway through the second half Sylvain crossed over for his 3rd try – ensuring that he would be doing the infamous naked run. The last try came when the team showed their physical side with several bruising runs from the forwards culminating in an overlap for the backs on the far touchline for Pete to pop over for the score. Doug rounded up the scoring with a penalty late in the game to ensure a comprehensive score line at the final whistle. Man of the match went to new flanker Scottie, who excelled in all facets of the game. All of the players, including several freshers making their BUSA debuts, played well and deserve a mention. If you are interested in joining men’s rugby - training is at the Varsity on Sundays at 1pm and Monday evenings from 6pm to 7pm. Support at all their home fixtures is greatly appreciated!
words: simon peasley

The Life And Times of An Olympic Role Model
It is always refreshing to see the hard work and dedication of our sports men and women here at surrey rewarded at any level, however when several accolades come along at once the feelings even better. In his time here at Surrey we have seen Colin Roope go from strength to strength. He has gone from Surrey university golf captain to the captain of the English BUSA team as well as finishing in the last 16 of the English amateur out of 256 along with finishing second in the Surrey amateur. All these efforts have not gone un-noticed with Colin not only becoming one of the newly formed TASS but also representing this new initiative as part of the Olympic parade through London earlier this week. The Talented Athletes Scholarship Scheme (TASS) is a new government initiative designed to help talented athletes who wish to progress with a formal academic programme but maintain an involvement in performance sport. words: david “paintbrush” glossup

sport sport
Surrey Getting Into Snowsports
If you take a trip to other universities around the country, you’ll notice that snowsports clubs are fast becoming a force to be reckoned with. After experiencing the university Snowsports scene ‘up the ante’ in the past few years, with clubs, competitions and events attracting thousands of students, sponsorship, music acts and even TV coverage, we thought we’d begin bringing Surrey up to scratch and take your club to the next level… After a summer of preparation, the year has got off to an incredible start; 140 members (and growing), a massively successful beginners’ day course, our first of many legendary pub crawls. Not to mention places on the much anticipated January Snowsports Trip ‘05 to Val Thorens, France going like hotcakes! We recently took a keen group of members to the Daily Mail Ski Show (Discount tickets courtesy of our sponsors natives.co.uk) We went seeking bargains, alcohol and freebies but were pleased to find, a Big Air exhibition with skiers & boarders throwing sick flips & spins off a real snow jump over a full sized skateboard ramp, an indoor dry-slope with some inflatable rings to slide about on, and the opportunity to meet Glen Plake, one of the worlds most famous skiers (see haircut in photo to see why) and the ‘father of freestyle skiing‘ It was truly a fantastic day and we managed to find the alcohol in the end. Although après-ski is all part of our sport, don’t be fooled in thinking the club is all about getting drunk. We recently started the slalom race training and the

37

teams, particularly the ladies are looking impressive indeed. If you think you’ve got what it takes come and give it a go at the first KINGS dry-slope race of the season Saturday 23rd October. Races are open to all standards of skier & boarders, there’s no reason to be intimidated. Besides, there’s always the bar and the fancy dress team! For lessons, training, race & freestyle competitions, January Trip bookings and some of the best parties you’ll ever have at uni visit www.surreysnowsports.c om words: stavros sachinis, club president

On the 13th of October, 2004, the mens 1st squash team participated in their first BUSA match of the season against Imperial at home. Although the strength of the squad has been depleted following graduation of the top 4 seeds last year, the determination and enthusiasm of the players has not been lost. This can be seen by the fact that every player took their game to 5 sets. First up was fresher Jason Stubington, playing at number 5 seed. Against a better opponent Jason battled hard, but in the end fatigue took over and he was not able to win on his debut. Chris Reed, however, did win on his debut for the 1st team and managed to be the only winner on the day. But it was still touch and go for the number 4 seed, losing two games along the way. Next to play was postgraduate Ron Weasly. The Hogwarts magic was working and he exhausted his opponent in the

Slow Start For Surrey Squash

4th game, but the Ronster was unable to conjure up enough from then on, and his opponent sneaked a win in the 5th game. Paul “Starsky” Fizzoni lost the first two games heavily. After an amazing come-back to become level, when everyone thought the string had been saved, he lost the final set by 2 points. Knowing the overall score was a defeat for Surrey did not deter Stewart at number 1. He was playing an old adversary who had beaten him in previous years. The Imperial player was again stronger, but Stewart knew he had closed the gap between them a bit more. To conclude, the match ended with Surrey losing to Imperial 1-4, but the team went home knowing they had performed better than expected. words: james “ron” chamings

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