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IF-Land
Lunchbox to the Darkside
Story by Kate Tsang and Jennifer Cho Suhr"
"
"

Ex adds finishing touches to a rice ball. Ex adds the rice ball to the MOST AMAZING
bento box.

LOU: Oh nice, food…! EX: I stayed up all night making it for
Lou reaches for the Bento. Ex slaps her hand SkeleTim.
away. !
EX: Hands off.!
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"

LOU: Wow, you really know the way to a Lou reaches for the bento again.
man’s heart...When I like someone I usually, Ex pulls it out of her reach.
you know, just tell them how I feel… LOU: Come oooon. I don’t feel like making
lunch.
EX: Why don’t you just buy something from
the cafeteria?

LOU: And give my hard earned money back to Ex ties the bento up with a handkerchief.
the bureau? That’s how they make you a slave EX: So Pretty!
to the system.!
EX: It’s just lunch. !
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"

Ex and Lou shuttle to work. The bus goes through crazy looking landscapes.

The shuttle pulls up to the Bureau of Imaginary Ex and Lou walk down a long hallway passing
Friends. The building looks like a giant various rooms filled with imaginary friends.
slumbering beast. ! RECORDED ANNOUNCEMENT: Welcome
back to another great day here at the Bureau
of Imaginary Friends.
Ex and Lou stop and look into a room.
"
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SCIENTIST 1: Jimmy’s favorite color is blue A dumb floating cube, with a stupid face comes
and he loves staring contests. out of a gooey rainbow portal a.k.a. The Stuff.
SCIENTIST 2: The Stuff is warmed up. We are
go for creation.
Lightning flashes in the room.

Ex and Lou grimace. ! RECORDED ANNOUNCEMENT: Because
every day is a great day when you’re making
EX: Is that the best that kids these days can
millions of human children happy.
come up with? Where’s the personality?!
The Cube with the stupid face blinks stupidly.
LOU: Bet Timmy will be over cubehead in a
week, and then he’ll be back here working
""
next to us for all eternity. !
EX: Ack. !
They keep walking
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"

Ex puts the bento in the fridge. Ex looks at the other lunches
"" LOU: SkeleTim only brought a bag of cereal.
EX: I’m gonna blow his lunch mind!”
Ex closes the door and walks away.

Ex sees SkeleTim drawing in the corner.
Ex and Lou enter the office and take their seats.
BearBear is already talking. ! "
BEARBEAR: Everyone! When you turn in your
time cards at the end of the day, please make
sure that you’ve signed and initialed your
name on every page. Also staple the red form
to the upper left corner, then put it in a green
folder….
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Lou sits at her desk and starts to nod off. SKELETIM: Yo Ex…
"" EX: Yeah?
Ex blushes.

He hands her a piece of paper.! Ex laughs.
She opens it to see a drawing of BearBear. EX: Haha, that is so true, she really does love
paperwork
SKELETIM: Right?
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"

EX: You’re a good…. EX: drawer…
SkeleTim smiles but then immediately rolls away
to go back to working.
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EX: You will be mine come lunchtime. Ex stares at the clock: 8:15 AM it slowly morphs
to 10:15.
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Ex taps her foot. Lou is napping
She anxiously looks around to distract herself. EX: Lou, you’re drooling.
She looks over to Lou. Lou looks up at her.
LOU: I hug all the contacts.
EX: What?
Lou goes back to sleep.

Clock: 11:00 am! Ex tries to distract herself with work
EX: Must focus. Blargblobs gotta focus!
Ex looks at her computer screen.
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The data numbers swim into the shape of Ex snaps out of it when she hears a growling
SkeleTim’s face with a heart around it. sound.

SKELETIM: Oh man, I can’t wait until lunch! ! Ex is excited.
Wolfie howls in agreement.!
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The lunch bell rings. Ex jumps up from her seat accidentally waking
The BIF building wakes up. Lou up.
BIF BUILDING: Lunchtime! EX: Finally!

Everyone goes to the lunch room. Ex runs ahead. ! Ex opens the door and sees that it’s all empty.
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Ex Reaction: A little piece of her dies inside. Wolfie howls.
WOLFIE: **only speaks in howls and is
subtitled** (It’s all gone!!)
BEARBEAR: Aw not my sammich too!

SkeleTim’s head catches on fire. ! Everyone is freaking out!
SKELETIM: Noooooooo my cereaaaaaal! ! BEARBEAR: Now everyone, wait, we can file
a report and this can all be settled in 3-5
weeks.
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LOU: This is an injustice. A travesty! A Sham Lou looks around spotting STAN the janitor,
of a thing of an outrage! whistling to himself while he mops.
EX: You didn’t even bring a lunch.
LOU: I mean for you! All that work you did on
those adorable rice balls. Just the right
amount of surprised yet friendly.
EX: But what can I do?

LOU: Look at Stan, isn’t he acting a little bit Ex thinks about this.
suspicious?! EX: Oh my stuff. You are so right.
EX: I don’t know...he just seems happy.! LOU: And what should we do with lunch
LOU: Exactly, And you know what makes thieves?
people happy?!
EX: Uhh….!
LOU: Eating!!
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"

Ex turns to the office. Stan is tied up.
EX: Stan did it! Get him! Ex steps up from out of the dark.
Ex leads the charge as they all attack Stan and
tie him up

EX: Where are the lunches Stan?! Wolfie breathes into a plastic bag with a tube
running to Stan’s face. Stan almost passes out.
STAN: I don’t know!!
LOU: He’s hiding something. !
EX: One last time. Where are the lunches
Stan? !
STAN: I don’t even eat lunch!!
EX: You leave me no choice. Breath him,
Wolfie.!
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STAN: No. More. Wolf breath. SKELETIM: Hey my cereal bag!
EX: Just tell us the truth and this can all be SkeleTim holds up an empty bag across the
over. room.

They go over to where the bag is. BEARBEAR: My lunch!
Empty sandwich and chip bags are piled up on WOLFIE: (Mine too!)
the floor by the trashcan.
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Ex spots her handkerchief sticking out behind the Ex pushes aside a trash can. and sees a gaping
trash can. hole in the wall.
The building is a living organism and blood oozes
from the hole.

Ex and Lou look inside and see a fat chupacabra.! EX: Ahh! Chupacabra!
" They all scream.
EX: What kind of messed up kid dreams up
a--
LOU: Uh, Ex I don’t think he’s from here.
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The chupacabra is about to start eating Ex’s EX: Hey-- That’s not for you!
Bento. Ex lunges at it.
The chupacabra spits green jelly on Lou, and
escapes through a portal with the Bento.
Ex and Lou go after it.

They fall through a tube of colorful lights.! They pass a being that’s disconnecting and
connecting lines of color.
EX & LOU: AHHHHHHHHH! !
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Ex and Lou fall through another portal. Ex falls into a volcanic hell-like world.
Lou lands on Ex.
EX: Oof.
LOU: Ouch

They spot the Chupacabra eating the bento. ! EX: Get your hands off my Bento!
MOTHMAN (O.S.): AHEM.
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They look up, a scary mothman stands before EX: (between zaps) Wait! That thief
them. trespassed in If-Land first!
MOTHMAN: You are trespassing in LOU: (between zaps) And ate Ex’s chance to
Monsterland, buttheads. This violation is impress her dreamboy. Look!
punishable by DEATH.
He begins zapping them.

Mothman turn around and sees the cupacabra He looks at the Bento.
eating the bento box. ! MOTHMAN: I wish someone would try to
impress me with such a delightful lunch.
MOTHMAN: So the buttfaces speak truth. !
"


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LOU: Maybe someday a nice Mothlady will. EX: Works for me.
You seem um,... cool. LOU: Butthands?
MOTHMAN: (soft)Aww thanks. (scary) Alright, Ex and Lou jump back through the portal.
butthands, you may go, but don’t ever come
back here again.
Mothman hands the bento box to Ex.

MOTHMAN: Now as for you.... BearBear is madly leafing through paperwork.!
Mothman zaps the Chupacabra. BEARBEAR: If they don’t come back then I’ll
have to fill out a disappearance form, then
one for unauthorized portal use, then I’ll have
to draw up a report for the chupacabra, but i
wasn’t able to get his initials--!
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Ex and Lou fall back through the portal. SKELETIM: Woah what happened to you guys
BEARBEAR: Holy Snapturtles. Thank the over there?
stuff, you’re back. EX: He ate it all…
Ex holds the empty bento and sighs.

Stan: Um so can I go now? BEARBEAR: Someone untie him please. !
EX: LOU: EVERYONE: Sorry, Stan. !
BEARBEAR: Cup of noodles on me!!
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Everyone leaves to go get cup of noodles. SKELETIM: Don’t be so bummed, Ex. It’s only
EX: Sigh. lunch.
LOU: Sorry lady. SkeleTim walks away.

EX:(whispers) I love you. Ex sighs again. !
Lou pats her on the head.

The End

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