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In this 32 page edition

Surrey Sabbatical Elect resigns | NEWS | PAGE 7 JOSH BATES details the process behind the making of barefacts | FEATURES | PAGE 19 THE ONION | ISSUE 3 | CENTRE

Monday 30 April 2007
Published by the USSU Comms Office Issue Number 1111 FREE


The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper
sophfacts joshfacts annefacts shannonfacts mikefacts hunterfacts jakefacts sophiefacts wreakesfacts maryfacts ellafacts cheethamfacts hansonfacts petefacts colinfacts paulfacts salinsfacts scottfacts hawkinsfacts batesfacts welfarefacts ohmyjoshfacts abeygunasekerafacts tobyfacts blakefacts patrickfacts southfacts iredalefacts saffacts yipfacts tylerfacts mattfacts tonyfacts natfacts everettfacts sandyfacts aaronfacts gregfacts sophfacts joshfacts


I SUPPOSE YOU are expecting my last ever editorial to be about thanking the team and expressing how sad I am about this being the last issue… and you would be right. But also, this editorial is a time for reflection. I have come a long way in the past year, if someone had told me that I was to be the Editor of a university student newspaper I would have laughed in their faces. But, it was my dream to become a journalist, and I have worked immensely hard to get where I am now. Over the past year, creating barefacts has been one turbulent journey; there have been some fantastic moments, but also some hard, stressful and tough times. But, it just goes to show, if you have a dream, you should just go for it. I sincerely hope that whoever takes barefacts over next year is as passionate about it as what I have been, I have been criticised; but I have worked my hardest on it, even when I was down, stressed and over-loaded with coursework, barefacts has been sent to print every Friday. No one knows what goes into making an issue. And yes, it wouldn’t have been possible without some key people, Josh, my fantastic Co-Editor and our resident Geeeza, Aaron. Many of you will soon be reading about my resignation as a Sabbatical, and I would like to make it very clear, leaving was not an easy decision to make. In fact it was quite possibly


30 April - 25 May 2007 Also in this Special Bumper Edition
The latest moans, rants and grievances | LETTERS | PAGE 4 & 5 SOPHIA HAWKINS explores the truth behind online dating | COMMENT | PAGE 16 This edition’s fortune tellings | THE HORROSCOPES | PAGE 13 What’s going on around campus? | GRAPEVINE | CENTRE PULL-OUT In need of Careers advice? | DR RUSS REPLIES | PAGE 11 LOTS OF SPORT | SEE BACK PAGES


T final notes from the Editors... wo
the hardest ever. I have worked very hard for the Union, and for the students, and I am 100% convinced that there are so many things that we, as students, could do to make life at Surrey better than great! But, I have been offered an amazing position in Brussels, which I am incredibly excited about. I admit I am terrified, thinking about missing my family and friends, wondering whether it’s the best thing to do, but do you know what? Sometimes you have to go with what your heart says over your head, this summer, in the 4 months we have off think about what you really want from life and seize the opportunity to do it. I hope you have enjoyed reading barefacts this year; I honestly have enjoyed making it, even if it does take 30 hours of my time every other week! I will be reading from Brussels next year I promise you. To all those leaving for pastures new, good luck! Thanks to a wonderful team…

Sophia Hawkins
Editor 2006-07

the barefacts almighty
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union Communications Office. The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher beforehand. Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1QA Submission is no guarantee of publication. barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. Please direct all equiries to the relevant section Editor. WWW.USSU.CO.UK/BAREFACTS © USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2007

IT IS DIFFICULT to believe that this is indeed the very last edition of barefacts for this academic year already, especially after only ten editions of the paper since September; a happy time, when everything seemed so fresh and new. It may not seem like much to the average reader, but despite being something that I am immensely proud of, barefacts has led to many late nights and early mornings for myself and my partner-in-crime, Soph. More on her later though. Sitting in an office for 25+ hours a week can be a pretty unenviable and thankless job that many of my friends have questioned the point behind. It can drive you utterly mad and up the wall, lead to the stupidest of arguments but at the end of the day, when it all goes to print and comes back looking all pretty, yet never perfect (believe me, we try), the feeling of accomplishment and achievement makes it all worth it. Aww, how clichéd of me. I couldn’t leave barefacts to go on placement without mentioning my pet hate of the year: the disastrous debut of the “all new” editorial team that was issue 1103 (heh, didn’t that all sound more glamorous than it actually really was?). A great, bumper packed edition that came out looking like a turd due to a muck-up by the printers. barefacts: bigger, better and back looking like its been shat on. From a great height. I’d like to think this year that the paper has been brought back to basics, in lieu of a VP Communications to guide us along the way, after last year’s revival. We’ve persistently strived for a balanced newspaper that was informative in both news – national, local and campus-wide – as well as addressing current issues, advertising events and gone for something a little different that has been a departure from the past. I admit, I was sceptical about the whole Surrey Stud & Campus Honey thing, but alas, it seems on the

whole there is at least one or two people up for, erm, “advertising their availability” (so-to-speak) in the student newspaper once a fortnight. This year has been a time of difficult transition. First year was, quite frankly, an amazingly good, fun time and one of work that was rarely taxing. Conversely, second year has been rather deceiving: initially straightforward and unproblematic, only to be bitten on the arse by the end of the first semester to realise things have just got that little bit worse. Who knows what is in store for my placement?! Or final year for that matter… Possibly one of my personal barefacts highlights was Issue 1109. My edition as Acting Editor – my baby. Did anyone notice? Probably not… You bastards! Working with Soph on barefacts this year has certainly had its ups and downs. An incredibly enthusiastic person/girl/thing, but equally stubborn and headstrong. In a nice way, naturally (except for when she disagrees with me). Looking at how far we’ve both come since September 2005, well, its been quite the journey, metaphorically speaking of course. Good luck to her in Brussels; it’ll most certainly be weird not working with her next year! Taking an active part in your students’ newspaper can definitely provide you with invaluable skills that will look great on your CV. You don’t need to be the world’s greatest writer, just enthusiastic and competent enough to give it a go. barefacts is made by students for students and that means anyone can take part in all the fun that goes into making the paper (which by the way, is detailed on page 19 of this edition). Happy reading for Issue 1111 (that’s 15 in binary, FYI). For lack of a better word: it’s colossal and Oh My Josh, it was mega stressful! I anticipate Issue 1112 greatly; good luck to next year’s editorial team… whoever you may be.

Co-Editor 2006-07

Josh Bates


30 April - 25 May 2007



Lib Dem Leader visits Guildford
SIR MENZIES CAMPBELL, leader of the Liberal Democrats, visited the site of the planned new University of Surrey Sports Centre on Wednesday 4th April following a visit to the A&E department at the Royal Surrey County Hospital. Sir Menzies, who has given strong support to the campaign to save the hospital, met Deputy Chief Executive Sue Lewis, Chris Coates, a leading consultant and staff and patients in A&E. He then met members of the Save the Royal Surrey Campaign Team. He commented that “People expect and deserve good local health services and want reassurance that there are adequate emergency services nearby. “Closing the local Accident and Emergency Service at the Royal Surrey is unacceptable. Shutting the unit could jeopardise the lives of local residents and could also impact on other services provided by the hospital. The people of Guildford and South Surrey deserve a fully functioning hospital that will look after them in an emergency.” Ming also visited the Tesco Underpasses not far from the University campus. Following several attacks in the area there have been calls for CCTV to be installed in the underpasses which many students living at Manor Park or going to the Tesco superstore walk through, often alone, on a daily basis. barefacts caught up with Sir Menzies for a brief interview (see below) before he was met by Barry Hitchcock (Director of Sport), Sally Edie (Head of Sports Programmes) and Nick Short (VP Sport & Recreation) to discuss the implications and Ming listens to staff concerns at the Royal Surrey County Hospital opportunities of the World Record Holder 2006 - GB Adaptive Rowing. new University of Surrey Sports Centre. The Surrey Sports Centre at the University of Surrey - a Sir Menzies, who competed in the 1964 Olympic and unique opportunity to create a world class sporting facility 1966 Commonwealth Games, was captain of the UK athletics team 1965-6 and held the UK 100 metres record in Guildford - will not only benefit the University and the for seven years from 1967, then chatted with fellow Scot local community, but will also provide a venue for training and Olympian, Allan Wells as well as Vicki and competition at a regional and national level. Hansford Sports Development Officer at the University and World Champion and

Quick Questions with Sir Menzies Campbell MP
Question 1: These are of course the local elections, and like the General Election in Surrey, students don’t usually tend to vote. Why should they vote, if indeed they should at all? What makes local government important to students in their university town? MC: Well, local government decisions often have a more direct effect on peoples’ quality of life than some of the decisions that are taken in Whitehall. Students are citizens of the community and if they are concerned about the sort of communities they live in, they most certainly should vote. Quesiton 2: The issue of student finance has been pushed to the back of the agenda in national politics. Could you reaffirm your commitment to a free education, and also commit your party to being against any removal of the 3k cap? MC: Yes. In Scotland we have, as part of the executive of the Scottish Parliament, we have achieved no tuition fees - that’s one of the achievements of the Liberal Democrats in the Scottish Executive and it remains, obviously, a priority for our party. Question 3: Who do you think will be the next Prime Minister: Gordon Brown, David Miliband, or someone else? Do you expect them to call a general election within six months of being elected, and what implications would that have for your party? MC: I think it is likely to be Gordon Brown. I think there a number of people who haven’t quite got the courage to offer themselves against him and I think that the likelihood of anyone serious doing it now is pretty remote. Brown’s been ready for ten years, and in particular the stability which he has brought to the economy is something that people will regard with great importance. Question 4: A lot of noise has been made in the media about a possible LabourLibDem coalition after the next General Election. Can you confirm or rule out a possibility of any coalition with either Labour or the Conservatives? MC: I have made it perfectly clear that my objective is maximum votes, maximum seats, maximum influence and I’m not going to let the party be distracted by talk of coalitions. You can’t campaign for a coalition or a hung parliament, and I have no intention that the party should do so. Ming also visited the Tesco Underpasses - pictured here with Sue Doughty, Chris Ward, Cllr Tony Phillips & Steve Freeman. Question 5: What’s more fun – politics or athletics? Athletics – it was more fun at the time!

Ming meets the Surrey Sports staff



30 April - 25 May 2007


Letters to barefacts
Letters must be received by September 2007 to guarantee their presence in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity.
absolutely NOTHING. Student Assembly is a “recommending body” - which essentially means if the Union Executive don’t agree with you then there’s NOTHING you can do about it. Motions at Union Council actually meant something but now that power has been taken away. Is there any surprise why students can’t be arsed? Of course, it will be argued that we, as a student body, elect these ‘representatives’ onto the Union Executive to make the decisions for us. But when has it ever been true that an electorate has ALWAYS agreed with its chosen representatives? The way Union council worked allowed the Executive to be held accountable to their jobs and mandated to follow through with what students wanted from them. Whilst there was potential for stupid motions being passed (see: the Grant Mitchell Committee Room) there should be a way of differientiating between these stupid motions and those who actually want to make genuine change. Now, we can ask questions to them (when they bother to turn up) or remove them from office. When a mere 45% of the Union Executive turn up to the most recent Student Assembly (advertised also as the Union’s AGM) then the latter option begins to look rather attractive, even though it too would probably be overruled in some way. Even the elected sabbaticals for next year outnumbered the current sabbaticals who attended! Congratulations to Sophia Hawkins, Michael Blakeney and Thayana De Paula. Shame on the others - you know who you are, even if your electorate doesn’t. Union Chairman: nobody will turn up to your Student Assembly no matter what bribes you present them with. Nobody should be forced to turn up to your Student Assembly as it should be their democratic right not to. Only when power is returned to its people will those people bother to make an effort. And for your information, Student Assembly would be far more successfully placed in the same time, venue and week every month. All these changing times just leads to confusion. And thus concludes the rant, Peace and big love, THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION not party-political rhetoric. We have very much gone further than any of the other candidates in supporting student matters. We were the only candidates to march in London with 10,000 other students against removing the cap on the £3,000 a year top-up fees. We were also the only candidates to make the effort to turn up to the Manor Park student meeting at the beginning of the academic year to hear your views and speak up for you. At a later stakeholders’ meeting we managed to convince the University representative to look into the possibility of postUnion buses to Manor Park. Our campaign to get CCTV in the Tesco underpass has reached over 500 subscribers on Facebook. Our commitment to Surrey students is unrivalled. You have been ignored by local politicians for far too long, and it is time for change and action on the issues that matter to you most. You deserve to feel welcome in your university town as residents who very much contribute to the prosperity of Guildford. You do not deserve to be continually treated like lodgers who go home at the weekend and are ignored till election year. You get three votes on 3rd May if you live within the two campuses of the university or in the surrounding areas of Onslow. Please use all three votes to back Steve Freeman, Cllr Tony Phillips and Chris Ward. Help us continue to speak out for you, and help us make sure your safety in Guildford is put to the top of the priority list. Yours, Steve Freeman Cllr Tony Phillips Chris Ward

Sabbatical campaigns on par with Mugabe
Dear barefacts, Congratulations to all the new sabbs elects! I bet they’re all absolutely chuffed with their hard-won positions, especially since after all their hard work campaigning, an astonishing less than 10% of the student population even bothered to vote. Wow. I have to say, pestering students outside the library right next to the polling station was a genius move for those candidates who chose this particular election strategy, if they’d been armed they’d be right on a par with Mugabe. I think it would have been fantastic if RON had won one or two positions, it may have made students actually pay attention to the election process and may have made them stop being so apathetic. Just out of curiosity, the vote quotas you’ve stated show a candidate must win the majority of votes cast for the position - is there a required quota on total number of votes cast? I ask as winning with just 583 votes (Mark “Zeph” Griffiths) out of a potential 15,000+ student votes is just ridiculous: this guy is now representing the entire student body even though not even 4% of them actually voted for him. Just an example. I hope the new sabb team can do better next year to push the students out of their apathetic ways and get them involved, I really do! Yours, LAURENCE barefacts would like to confirm that, in response, that there is no required minimum quota on the total number of votes required during the sabbatical elections.

Students Assembled in Apathy
Dear barefacts, I recently attended a meeting of Student Assembly on March 15. A change to the advertised 2pm start (it had seemingly at the last moment been moved to 6pm with no explanation) I turned up wondering if even the bribe of 100 free tickets to St. Patrick’s Night at Rubix would actually result in a quorate meeting. From the outset of the meeting the answer was simple: not even a bribe on this scale was going to get 30 people to show up, let alone 100. The governance review of the Union’s constitution has quite frankly been a joke, with Student Assembly being the butt. Only one sabbatical officer could be bothered to turn up (the others “are out representing you” we were told - but only the Union President’s prescence at University Council could be accounted for - where indeed were the other two?). Meanwhile, only four part-time Executive officers out of a potential seven were present. The reason nobody turns up to Student Assembly is because, honestly, what is the point? Motions means

Manor Park Mentoring
Dear barefacts, I am concerned with the pastoral progress that Manor Park has made so far this year, both from its title of “student village” and also in terms of the lack of a senior resident system throughout the court. Perhaps the definition of a village as “larger than a hamlet but smaller than a town” might be accurate up at the Park, with 700 rooms already available and another few hundred planned in phase 2, but where is the central focus for village life, the village hall if you will? My previous experience of a university residence was a 360-student hall, which had a large central common room as a social focus, with a small bar that was open in the evenings and which was adequate for the residents’ needs. The Manor Park Mentoring Social events put on would benefit so very much from a large central social space such as this, and it would make Manor Park feel more like a community despite the peat bogs, heavy plant machinery and unplanted, grass-void areas that still remain at our “home”.

Local Council Elections
Dear barefacts, On 3rd May, students will have the opportunity to voice their disapproval of the inaction on student safety (particularly with regards to putting CCTV in the Tesco underpass) by the current Guildford Borough Council administration. More than ever, this election will be about people, not parties. We have thoroughly enjoyed talking to students over the past few months over the things that concern them and what we can do to make their lives better whilst they study in Guildford. The level of backing and support students have given us despite formerly supporting other parties is overwhelming. The message you have given us is clear – University of Surrey students want to see action from people,


30 April - 25 May 2007



More Letters to barefacts
The Manor Park Mentoring system, a pilot scheme with funding for the first two years of Manor Park’s existence, seems to be working well from the perspective of pastoral and social input from some hardworking and interested student mentors. However there is an elementary lacking in this system, which is not a reflection by any means whatsoever on those mentors who put a great deal of time and effort into running it, in that mentors are assigned outside of their own residential group, be that a corridor, stairwell or block, and as a result there is a fundamental lack of responsibility within those residential groups as no-one is acting as an authority figure to deal with immediate and common issues such as noise and general disturbance. The warden might be responsible for this as a whole, but with 700 residents and substantially more coming over the next couple of years, I do not believe that a single individual is a suitable or effective authority figure. I would suggest that long-term care and well-being might be better served by a mentoring system, but that in a large and demographically mixed environment such as Manor Park, some form of senior resident system as a first line of authority within the court is still required and is in fact desperately lacking. The two systems ultimately need to work side-by-side for highest efficacy, as they actually target very different issues, and I would look forward to seeing Manor Park Mentoring extended to include and pioneer this dual scheme as best practice for all the University courts. Yours, NAVEED way and radicalise. However, what I am NOT willing to do is accommodate values I wouldn’t accommodate in the rest of society for the sake of appeasing or showing respect to “religious sensitivities”. The left needs to re-think attitudes to Islam, and stop reinforcing the “victim” mentality. It needs to support the progressive elements within Islam, which do exist. These elements mirror what were the left’s cherished enlightenment values: freedom of speech, human rights, gender and sexual equality, rationalism. Organisations like Secular Islam (www. need support to take their values forward. They need the support of people like Chris Ward, as it’s clear his heart’s in the right place. However, the left’s insistence on shutting down any debate and discussion with cries of “racist!” won’t allow this to happen. I fear that the effect it will have is that the only people who will criticise Islam in future will be the far-right, like the repugnant BNP. These are the true bigots. Not the who simply want to highlight some of the current issues regarding the integration of Muslim values with Western values. Yours, NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED barefacts contacted Chris Ward to allow him a chance to respond before it returns in September 2007... Chris Ward responds: Dear barefacts, I would like to express my thanks to the author of the letter analysing my Islamophobia article for sending me his comments in advance to allow me to respond alongside himself in the same edition of barefacts. Although he and I know each other fairly well, and quite often have colourful debates of this nature, I will respect his decision to keep his identity anonymous. He seems to be under the impression that I have put forward an intrinsic link between criticising Islam and racism. This most certainly is not the case, and as he knows from a debate he turned up to not so long ago, I value freedom of speech as a great virtue of our society in this country. Everybody has the right to agree with something, and conversely everybody has the right to disagree with something without fear of oppression. Religion is not exempt from this. What I do condemn, however, is when people believe they have the freedom to oppress. A woman has the right to walk down a street wearing a veil without having to fear verbal slurs from others. I am not an apologist for any member of a religion that believes they have the right to oppress, in the same way that I’m not an apologist for any non-religious person who assumes that right. On the doorstep recently on my canvass travels I met a man who told me his only criticism with my party was our “moral stance” on what he referred to as an “invalid lifestyle”. There can’t be exceptions for anyone when it comes to equality, and I simply pointed out to him that there were many people who believed religion should be banned in this country in the same way he feels a certain lifestyle should be banned – does that mean we should do it? My point was proven – to take away somebody’s right to believe something is oppression, and to take away somebody’s right to live their own life the way they choose is similarly oppression. That is something I fight. I hope the author will acknowledge that my usual approach to somebody like this is not to point the finger and shout “homophobic!” or “racist!” at them, but to engage and persuade. This is the only way we will stop the rise of the far-right at the hands of disillusioned people. Regardless of what the author has said, if somebody chooses to judge somebody by their appearance of what they believe to be “a Muslim”, then it no longer becomes a fear of a religion, it becomes a fear of what they feel personifies that religion. I have spent a lot of time with many of the Muslim community at Surrey, and they most certainly are not the intolerant oppressors that the Daily Mail types have come to portray them as. I simply do not want them to be judged by a misguided fear, much like some members (and I’m proud to say only a minute number) of the LGBT were when I was President of the society. We may have a right to offend, but we don’t have a duty to. I reiterate, everybody has the right to believe or not believe what they want. Everybody has the right to agree, and to disagree. There is a massive difference between disagreeing with somebody, and oppressing them for their views. That is the vice we must all condemn. Yours, CHRIS WARD

Missing Posters
Dear barefacts, Have you wandered around campus recently and seen all of the posters advertising student events and items for sale? No? You must’ve been looking around on a UCAS open day then! I’m appalled that I’ve wasted £15 and the time taken for a group of us to print off posters and put them up on the white boards only for them to be removed within hours of them being put up. And the only reason I can see that they have been removed (on Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning) is for a UCAS open day. Some of you may remember a few years ago when we weren’t restricted to putting up posters on a handful of white notice boards sparingly located across campus.The University actually seemed more vibrant and alive with student activities. These days it seems like even the white boards aren’t safe. I can understand removing posters that were put up in and around buildings and walk-ways but I thought the whiteboards were the one place where we could put up posters! Can we please have confirmation that posters on the white boards won’t be removed? The £15 I wasted on printing posters wouldn’t go amiss either! Yours, NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED

Response to Islamophobia article
Dear barefacts, I read with interest Chris Ward’s article on Islamophobia in the last edition of barefacts, though I must say I disagree with much of his analysis. In fact, I find it particularly strange coming from a former president of USSU’s LGBT society. Chris seems to equate criticism of Islam with racism, a link that far too many people are making these days. I do think there is cause for concern with certain interpretations of Islam, and there isn’t enough serious discussion of these concerns around at the moment. One of the reasons for this is the instant cry of “racist!” from members of the left any time anyone tries to voice concern. It’s worth reiterating that Islam is a belief structure and set of values. That the majority of it’s members have brown skin is, to me, of no importance. What is of importance to me is the values. It concerns me that Yusuf al-Qaradawi, a man described as a moderate representative of Islam by Ken Livingston, believes homosexuals should be punished by death. It concerns me that Sir Iqbal Sacranie, seen to be the voice of British Islam, believes that death would have been too good for Salman Rushdie after he wrote The Satanic Verses. Where is the moderation there? I’m not a particular fan of any religion. I’m an atheist and a staunch secularist. What is clear to me is that the west has been fairly successful in reforming and modernising other religions.We’ve managed to secularise them. I hope the same can be done with Islam, and that it doesn’t go the other

That’s all folks!
barefacts would like to thank everyone who has submitted a letter this year; big, small, angry, annoyed, anonymous or otherwise they’re an important part of the paper! We’ll be back in September 2007, so get writing/ranting...



30 April - 25 May 2007


Surrey risks fines for taking Well done Surrey! in too many students
BY MIKE BLAKENEY NEWS EDITOR BY JOSH BATES CO-EDITOR WITH THE RECENT application jump for autumn 2007, many of England’s most popular universities, including the University of Surrey, are at risk at being fined by the government. National figures show a 7.1% overall increase in applications, whilst Surrey has recently enjoyed an increase of 39.2% - with engineering up 43.1% and physics 47.8%. Surrey is amongst many institutions considering ignoring the current government cap on how many students they recruit, which would be incurred if the university accepted more than five percent above its limits of students. Professor Christopher Snowden, Vicechancellor of the University of Surrey, is urging ministers to abandon the“cap” on student numbers – which was introduced to give the government control over the financing of universities. Prof Snowden commented: “There are two options which could be open to us: put up with the fine or persuade HEFCE [the Higher Education Funding Council for England] to give us additional student numbers”. The latter, he claimed, could take far too long to achieve. The introduction of top-up fees of up to £3,000 a year per student makes it easier for universities to exceed their quota of students, because they can afford to incur the fine. “I would be in favour of lifting the cap,” said Prof Snowden “although I think it should stay if you fail by five percent to meet your target figure”. The Vice-chancellor suggested that the cap was obstructing the government’s objective of getting 50% of students into higher education by the end of the decade. A spokesman for HEFCE said there was scope for flexibility under the current system, adding,“if a university does go beyond its contact range it would not get any additional funding from us. IT would be likely to be lowering its unit funding per student”. Early in February,Tony Blair announced plans to give universities £1 for every £2 raised from private endowments – subject to a maximum £2 million per university. At present, Surrey gets 51% of its finances from the state and 49% from elsewhere. THE MAGNIFICENT STUDENTS at the University of Surrey have raised over £3,000 for Hope and Aid Direct during the first RAG week at Surrey following a temporary hiatus over the last few years. Speaking, Vice President of Societies and Culture Thayana de Paula said that, “The RAG Week was the best experience I have had for a long time. The charity that will benefit takes aid directly to the families that need it most.” Amongst the events that took place was a “Free for Food” event whereby students were allowed free access into Rubix, in exchange for dried food. There was also an International Gala and an X-Factor competition. RAG, or Raising and Giving week, hadn’t taken place at Surrey for the last few years, and this year heralds its return.

barefacts. be heard.
Professor Matthew Holley, Sheffield’s acting head for biomedical sciences, said universities operated within a global market. “We recognise the substantial talent and dedication of young people in India. “The scholarship programme will provide a very exciting opportunity for the department to build much stronger collaborative links with India and should bring substantial mutual benefits in both teaching and research.” Universities are increasingly looking towards India as a growing market for foreign students who may want to study in the UK.


Reality TV Gets the University Treatment
competitive spirit to create an intelligent thought-provoking show. “The Airtel Scholar Hunt will tap into the growing aspiration among Indians to study overseas and will be exactly the kind of programme that suits NDTV’s well-informed audience: modern, aspiring Indians, with an expanded world view and the ambition to make the most of their lives.” Leeds University Vice Chancellor, Professor Michael Arthur, commented, “This scholarship and the novel way it’s being run, will help Leeds raise its profile further in India and show potential students just how much the university has to offer.”

THE INDIAN SHOW, also to be broadcast by Sky, will see potential scholars battle it out im academic tests for one of five scholarships worth up to £800,000 at UK universities. The universities involved - which include Leeds, Cardiff, Warwick, and Middlesex - will pay the winners’ fees and living expenses on top a place on courses including engineering and journalism. Producer, Aran Thapar who works for New Delhi TV said that,“Our aim is to mix academic excellence and the

First Saturday of every month

Pop, Dance, Old Skool & RnB Feat. DJ Phil Brown Saturday May 5th 2007 10pm - 3am, Rubix

Running through the Summer in June and July. £3 NUS / £5 Non-Students. or join “TEASE Events” on


30 April - 25 May 2007



The University of Lisbon, South America,Tahiti, Fiji, Sydney and Shanghai, oh, and Japan...
BY MIKE BLAKENEY NEWS EDITOR ROYAL CARIBBEAN have leased out one of their 29,000ton, 660-foot ocean liners, to be converted into what is possibly the world’s first sea-bound university. “The Scholar Ship”, backed by a consortium which includes Cardiff University, will have a Library, Student Union, and even a theatre. Six hundred students, both postgraduate and undergraduate, will take the 13-week journey via Lisbon, South America, Tahiti, Fiji, Sydney and Shanghai, and Japan, while studying subjects such as international business, international relations, and international art and culture. The UK representative for The Scholar Ship, John Larkin commented that, “When people think of a cruise they think of holidays, but it’s very much seen as a progressive transnational education project,” “It’s not a spin-off from the holiday industry.” “The whole premise of the programmme is experiential learning, Getting out into the field.” Such luxurious learning has a price tag though, somewhere in the region of £10,000 in fact. They will get to take in the sights though on their tour, with a few days off at each stop. “It’s an interesting initiative,” Sandra Elliott, director of Cardiff’s international development division said, “For students it’s an incredible international experience and there’s a synergy of what they’re offering and what we offer. It’s not a financial motivation at all.” “I’m a bit sceptical, but who knows?” says Svava Bjarnason, director of the Observatory on Borderless Higher Education, “They may be well ahead of the curve. It’s good to see innovation, and this is pretty innovative.” Only time will tell how successful the ship is, which leaves in September, and will arrive in Japan in mid-December.

Uni$ restructure causes job losses
BY JOSH BATES CO-EDITOR THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY is to press ahead with its plans to cut support and administrative staff in what it is referring to as the “University restructuring”. This decision has faced criticism from the joint campus trade unions Amicus, UCU and Unison who have made a statement suggesting the plans will primarily affect junior staff who are typically employed locally, thus creating a significant adverse impact on the local economy. The statement issued by the joint unions suggests that University of Surrey staff hold very little confidence that the quality of services offered by the institution will be upheld as a result of the cuts, despite claims in the Surrey Advertiser from a University spokesperson that the restructuring would not bring about any negative impact. the extra administrative loads that will need to be taken on by Lecturers and Tutors will inevitably impact on the quality of teaching and research and will inhibit the University’s aspirations to maintain and develop its position as a leading teaching and research institution.” Are you afraid this will impact your degree? Watch the video on the USSU website where the Union President Greg Scott intervies the VC and make your own opinion. If you are still concerned come to the Student Assembly on 8th May at 6pm to ask the VC directly! The unions stated: “Many of the posts affected are in key student facing roles and their loss will inevitably have a negative effect on the student experience. Furthermore,

Surrey Sabbatical Quits
By-election set to take place for VP Welfare 2007-08
development. It was most certainly not an easy decision to make especially as I had many aspirations for the role.” Greg Scott, Union President, meanwhile is proposing a motion to the Union Executive which, if passed, will prevent anybody who resigns a full-time sabbatical position from standing in a sabbatical election again. Mr Scott unfortunately could not comment in time before barefacts went to print. Paul Coward, Deputy Returning Officer for the last election and the forthcoming one, said “unfortunately Soph has found a better offer elsewhere which is a pity as I thought she would have done a very good job as VP Welfare, given her feisty nature I’m sure she would have made it a really interesting year at the Union, but like the jilted bride at the alter we must move on! Anyone who is interested in becoming the new improved VP Welfare should come and visit me in the Union so I can fill them in on a few details and also so they can get their mitts upon a nominations form.” A by-election for the role, which was created this year after a decision to split the traditional VP Education & Welfare BY JOSH BATES CO-EDITOR SOPHIA HAWKINS, the current Editor of barefacts and a second year Politics student, has resigned her position as Vice President of Welfare for the academic year 2007-08 two months before she was due to begin her year as a fulltime elected student representative. Ms Hawkins, who has chosen to accept a Politics-based placement in Brussells, commented that: “I was very much looking forward to being VP Welfare, however at this time going to Brussels is much better for my individual career position, will take place immeniently in the forthcoming weeks. Nominations close on Friday 4th May at 2pm, with campaigning commencing on Monday 14th May and voting from 16-18th inclusive. The result will be annouced in Chancellors at 7pm on Friday 18th, a mere hour after voting has closed. Students registered on the all-new USSU web site will be able to vote online for the very first time at Surrey. barefacts anticipates that this will change the nature of the campaigning surrounding the election, which has previously been attributed to being intrusive with candidates and their respective campaign teams attempting to woo voters outside polling stations. Contact Paul Coward on:



30 April - 25 May 2007



Fairtrade: To be or not to be?
are liberalised. If poorer countries are going to progress they need to open up their markets. According to him, by helping a handful of producers in the Third World, fair trade is not solving the problem. If anything, fair trade is marginalising producers because its impact is limited to a select number of producers. The way out is for these countries to industrialise and let the market be left to its own devices. The Chief Executive of Traidcraft, Paul Chandler, thought differently: ‘Fair trade is about giving other human beings dignity’. It is about providing training, skills and practical help to producers. It is about trade justice. When we buy fair trade, we are sending out powerful statements to the government. We are telling the government, these are the values we feel should underpin our society. Fair trade is using market forces to do this. David Woodward, Head of the New Economics Foundation, rubbished Booth’s assertion, stating that: ‘To suppose there can be equality between impoverished producers and a handful of manufacturers is nonsense.’ He argued there is very little connection between the economics that underpins free trade and neo-liberalism in the real world. The politics of trade allows the West to get away with protectionism and subsidies. There is no way the poorer countries can compete when the field is tilted against them. On this basis, free trade cannot work. David McCullough, Trading Director of Oxfam, refused to accept that the responsibility lay with the West. In is opinion, ‘if they stand up long enough, the rich countries are likely to

IS FAIRTRADE THE answer or is free trade the answer? Or maybe a better way to begin is what is free trade and what is fair trade? Walk into Sorrentoes on Campus and you won’t fail to notice faces beaming at you; farmers in Africa returning from the farm, a handful of school children smiling away, all representing certain products. The suppliers of such goods assure us that by purchasing fair trade products, disadvantaged producers in the developing world are getting a better deal. But how are we sure? How would paying 20p more for a bar of chocolate enhance the life of a Third World farmer living miles away? Browse through the internet, the financial pages of Newspapers or even text books and you’ll read headlines such as ‘China refuses to fully open up borders’, or ‘New Economic World Order, a Threat to World Trade’. Such headlines reflect the belief that the (international trade) market should be allowed to take care of itself, with all countries competing on a level playing field free of special treatment being meted out to any. In other words, ‘free trade’ . In a debate, ‘Free Trade versus Fair Trade’, held in Christ Church,Woking, five guest speakers, with strong backgrounds in economics, were invited to shed light on the issue. The debate kicked off with Philip Booth, a Professor at City University and a free trade advocate. In his opinion poorer countries, which have the most protectionist economies, are doing themselves more harm than good than by protecting their economies, after all the fastest growing economies today

bend’. Their destiny rests in their own hands. Smaller positive action is likely to bring far more benefits. When asked by a member of the audience, what a perfect trade package deal should look like, Paul Chandler responded: ‘fair trade is not a one-shot solution.’ For trade justice the West should remove tariffs and gradually remove subsidies. Reduced tariff barriers would ensure that poorer countries obtain wider and better access to the markets of Western countries. Furthermore, Western countries should stop dumping subsidised goods on poorer countries. If you’re getting bored and beginning to ask, “what does all this ‘international wrangling’ have to do with us as students?” “How does it affect us?” “Where do I come into the picture?” One thing is certain, how you purchase even the simplest item, such as a cup of coffee at a Café, can have an impact on how Third World producers are treated, and even on emerging trends in International Trade. The key then is to shop circumspectly, keeping in mind the issues. We might not have all the solutions for making the world a better place, but taking a firm stand one way or the other can make all the difference.

Which side are you on?
For a more detailed examination of the issues, See J E Stiglitz and A Charlton, Fair Trade for All, Oxford University Press, New York, (2005).

The Student View: Should the troops be taken out of Iraq?
Adam Brown 19 Physics
“With the political instability, pulling troops out will create a void of power. It needs to be a gradual process of bringing them out. You need to create infrastructure in the country and make the country self-sufficient.”

Theodosis Stoitsas 23 Law
“Yes they should take the troops out of Iraq. They shouldn’t have been there in the first place. The troops are aggravating the political situation, endangering the troops and lives of the citizens”

Joanna Innes 23 Nutrition
“I think we should take them out, but if we take them out now, it will leave a mess. We would have done nothing except get rid of Saddam Hussein and left more of a mess.”

George Markides 26 Chemistry
“a) Shouldn’t be there b) Blair doesn’t know history – as the British tried to install a puppet Monarchy which was overthrown. History is repeating itself. c) Should take the troops out now and split the country in three pieces.”

Piers Gilbert 19 Sociology
“I don’t think it’s a good idea they should go. Now they’re there, pulling out too quickly will create a civil war. It has to be a gradual process. We need to fix what we’ve broken before we leave.”

Natalie Allain 20 Nursing
“I think they should be withdrawn immediately. The situation has got worse since the war finished two years ago. The reasons for staying are not happening – it’s not becoming more stable. UK and US troops must leave and the UN should take over control. Power needs to be given back to the people.”


30 April - 25 May 2007


days of the court order. What happens at the end of my tenancy? When you leave, if you and your landlord or agent both agree on how much of the deposit you should get back, you should get it back within 10 days of agreeing. If your deposit was held in a custodial scheme, you will also receive some interest on the deposit. The custodial scheme will repay tenants direct, either by cheque or by electronic transfer. Deposits held in the insurance-based schemes will be repaid by the landlord either in cash or by cheque, as they choose. Deposits held in the insurance-based schemes will not pass on any interest to the tenant. What if there is a dispute about getting my deposit back? Your landlord or agent is only entitled to keep all or part of your deposit if they can show that they have lost out financially because of your actions, for example, if you have caused damage to the property, or you owe rent. Ask your landlord or agent for a breakdown of the specific costs that they are taking out of your deposit. Your landlord or agent cannot keep your deposit to cover putting right normal wear and tear.There are rules on what costs can be deducted from your deposit. If you don’t agree that your landlord or agent should have kept all or part of your deposit, or you disagree with some of the costs that they have taken out of it, then the tenancy deposit protection scheme your landlord or agent has used will offer a free service to help resolve disputes. Information on what you need to do if there is a dispute will be contained in the information your landlord or agent will have given you at the start of your tenancy (see above). Each scheme will contain an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) service. When a dispute occurs, and if you and your landlord both agree to use the service, you will have to agree to accept its decision and will not be able to apply to the courts. If you or your landlord do not agree to use the ADR service then the dispute will usually go to the county court. Where can I get more information? You can get more information about the tenancy deposit protection scheme from:

Are you paying a deposit for an off Campus house?
6TH APRIL BRINGS a major change in housing law that will benefit students in particular. If signing an assured shorthold tenancy and pay a deposit to a landlord after 6 April 2007 the landlord must protect your deposit in a Tenancy Deposit Protection Scheme ‘TDS’. The benefit to you is that your deposit will be held independently so that getting it back, provided you have complied with your tenancy agreement, should be quicker and easier. The following Q&A’s should help explain: Why have the schemes been introduced? The Government has introduced the schemes to protect tenancy deposits and provide a fairer system for settling disputes about the return of a deposit at the end of a tenancy. Before introduction of these schemes, if a landlord kept all or part of your deposit it could be difficult to get it back. With the new schemes, an independent service helps to resolve disputes about deposits at the end of a tenancy. This service is free for tenants. Will I be protected by the scheme? You will be protected by the scheme if you are renting a home from a private landlord or letting agent on or after 6 April 2007, and your tenancy is an assured shorthold tenancy (this applies to most new private tenancies), and you are paying a deposit. What if I paid a deposit before 6 April 2007? If you paid a tenancy deposit before 6 April 2007, then you will not be protected by the scheme. What does my landlord or agent have to do? After you’ve paid your deposit, the landlord or agent must then protect your deposit using a tenancy deposit scheme. There are two types of scheme available. A custodial scheme. With this scheme, the landlord or agent pays the deposit to the scheme, which will keep it until the end of your tenancy. An insurance scheme, where the landlord or agent keeps the deposit but pays insurance premiums to the scheme. This means that the deposit is insured if there is any dispute, and the scheme will repay the tenant the agreed amount directly. The insurance scheme can charge fees to landlords for membership and can require contributions towards the costs of insurance. It will be up to your landlord or agent to decide what scheme to use. They must then provide certain information to you within 14 days of the day when you paid your deposit. This information includes: • The landlord or agent’s contact details • Which tenancy deposit scheme they are using and the contact details for the scheme • Information about what the deposit is for • How you can apply to get the deposit back at the end of the tenancy • What you can do if there is a dispute about the deposit Is there anything I need to do? When you move into a property, it’s also a good idea to draw up an inventory. An inventory is a detailed list of the contents and condition of the property and any items provided with it, such as furniture or equipment. Having an inventory can help you resolve disputes at the end of your tenancy about whether you’ve caused any damage to the property or whether items are missing. It is in your own interests to take care of the property you are renting. It is worth taking pictures of any damage present in the property when you move in. Will I have to pay anything towards the scheme? No, your landlord or agent should not ask you to pay any fees towards the scheme. Some landlords may decide to increase your rent to cover the costs associated with the insurance scheme. What can I do if my landlord or agent doesn’t provide the required information or hasn’t protected my deposit? If your landlord or agent hasn’t protected your deposit and provided the required information within 14 days, then you can apply to the county court for an order that the landlord or agent should pay the deposit back to you, or protect it in one of the tenancy deposit protection schemes. The court will also order the landlord or agent to pay you compensation equivalent to three times the value of the deposit you paid. The landlord or agent must do all of these things within 14 TenancyDeposit/index.htm

one paper - one voice - barefacts - be heard.
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30 April - 25 May 2007


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30 April - 25 May 2007



answering some of your questions as your time at surrey draws to an end
Where can I look for vacancies after I’ve graduated? Throughout the summer we will be producing a weekly vacancies bulletin which we will be very happy to e-mail to you. The Prospects website is another excellent source of graduate vacancies. The site also carries details of specialist publications and websites which may have vacancy information for specific occupations. Just click on “Explore types of jobs”. Is it worth registering with recruitment agencies? You would be wise to at least consider using agencies as part of your job search. Some advertisements are placed by agencies anyway so if you are interested in the job on offer you will have no choice but to reply through them. You can also use agencies in a more deliberate way by contacting those who you think might be helpful. There is a website which lists them all according to the region of the country in which they operate and the types of vacancy which they handle at Click on “Details of REC Members”. What about writing speculatively? Some graduates consider that writing to employers in the hope that they have vacancies is a waste of time. The evidence, though, is entirely the opposite. Some employers don’t even bother to advertise their vacancies since they know they will always be able to pick up good applicants from those who write on the off-chance. All you need to do is to structure your CV in such a way that you appear to be tailor-made for the kind of position you have in mind. Add a persuasive covering letter, spelling out your reasons for writing and the particular strengths which you would bring to the job, and an employer is hard-pressed to put off seeing you. Even if they don’t have immediate openings, they might put your letter on file. And networking? Surrey graduates seem to be good at this. It involves letting as many people as possible know that you are job-hunting. Some contacts are particularly worth cultivating. Your Professional Year Tutor or Personal Tutor for example, may receive calls from employers who want to fill permanent positions. Friends who are returning to or already working for an employer may be able to advise you about unadvertised vacancies. Members of your family may either help you directly or know someone who can. A good way to approach people is to ask for their advice. Most people love giving you their opinions and their experience of the job market can prove invaluable. Will there by any recruitment fairs taking place over the summer? Most major cities will have them with the number of employers attending varying between 30 and 150. For a complete guide to all of the Fairs run by university careers services, pick up Prospects Finalist in the Careers Service towards the end of May or check for details on the Prospects website You’d be wise to treat your conversations with employers at fairs as if they were first interviews. They are there to talent-spot so the impression you make is critical. Take copies of your CV and keep a check list in your head of the things you would regard as your major selling points such as value of degree, exam successes, relevant work experience and so on. Prepare to drop these into the conversation at suitable opportunities. Is it too late to consider postgraduate study? It is still not too late to secure a place on a postgraduate course, be it Certificate, Diploma, Masters or Doctorate. The key thing is to identify a suitable opportunity and then get in touch with the course provider as soon as possible. The Prospects website will help you to identify courses. Some will be full, but not all, and it is possible to secure funding even at this late stage. One word of caution, however, try to give at least some thought to where it might lead you. Course providers or Careers Services should be able to provide you with information about the destinations of previous students. You may find that the course doesn’t lead in quite the direction you have in mind. What about taking time out? Every year about 30 or so Surrey graduates decide to do something different. Travel and/ or voluntary or temporary employment are the most popular alternatives. If you would like to check out some of the possibilities, the Careers Service has a number of books which might help. Taking a Gap Year & International Voluntary Work are especially useful. Is there anything else you can do to help? We will be running a Before You Go Week between Monday 21 and Friday 25 May. The week will include opportunities to meet employers, sit practice aptitude tests, attend career choice seminars, have your CV checked and so on. Watch out for details on the Careers Service website http://portal. Can I still use the Careers Service after I’ve graduated? Definitely. Everything available to you as a student will continue to be available after you’ve graduated. For example, if you haven’t decided what to do yet, a chat with a Careers Adviser could help you to sort out your strengths, interests etc. and relate these to suitable careers. We can also advise you about application forms and interview technique, CV preparation, choosing between options and so on. We will be open throughout the summer so you can get in touch anytime. You can ring 01483 689001 or e-mail if you’d prefer. There is no charge and you can continue using the Careers Service for as long as you need to. Finally, we will have a Job Hunters Pack for you in the Careers Service before you leave. Just drop in if you would like one.

Dr Russ Replies


Come and take a dip in SPLASH!
bright, airy space with comfortable seating giving a very pleasant work environment in which students can study - either with their colleagues in small groups or on an individual basis. The full SPLASH service will be offered to all students from September 2007 but the SPLASH team are hoping to encourage as many students as possible to make use of the resource during the run up to exams. There are three rooms which students can book out to use for small group working and there are clustered seating areas which will also allow for group working. A pc zone is situated in a corner of SPLASH which has fixed pc’s for student use and tables for students to plug their lap-tops into should they prefer to work on their own computers. Workshops are planned which will focus on aspects such as Revision Strategies, Exam Technique and Stress Management to try and support students during this busy time. The team work very closely with staff in SCEPTrE and students who have been involved in SCEPTrE organised activities this year will find that the two areas work in close collaboration with much complementary activity planned for the future. Students are encouraged to speak to the team in SPLASH to let them know of activities etc. which they would find useful to support them both in their studies and personal or professional development as this feedback will drive future provision. The SPLASH team currently consists of Penny Burden, Head of Skills and Personal Development; John Baxter, Research Training and Development Co-ordinator; Marc Griffith, Learning Development Co-ordinator and Helen Sterne, PDP Co-ordinator. By September it is hoped that part-time learning support tutors will be in place to work with students on aspects of their academic study which they feel could be improved. The SPLASH team will not be taking over other established services on campus so students requiring language support will continue to be directed to the Department of Language and Translation Studies, students with dyslexia or other special educational needs will continue to work with staff in Additional Learning Support and student welfare issues will be dealt with by the Student Advice and Information Service. Come and visit us in SPLASH – it adds a whole new dimension to the Library!! Please note: students are not permitted to bring food or drink into SPLASH - but a new café space is being planned for the first floor of the Library, ready for September ’07.

AS I’M SURE you’re all aware, the third floor of the Library has been closed off to students since last summer – access to the periodicals which were housed on that floor has been via electronic media (where available) or via the inter-library loan service. Work has been ongoing since the summer to move the periodicals to a store elsewhere on campus and clear out the floor ready for the establishment of a new skills centre to be known as SPLASH – Student Personal Learning and Study Hub. SPLASH will be opening to students after the Easter vacation and those students taking the time to drop in and visit the space will be amazed at the transformation. All the shelving has disappeared and in its place is a light,



30 April - 25 May 2007


Hey all, Sister Sophie here. This is my last issue as I am graduating this year, and I just wanted to say thanks for reading and sending in your problems and embarrassing moments. I have enjoyed doing the paper and shall miss it, but I have to go into the big wide world! So, wish me luck and I wish you all the best for the future.

Agony Sisters To The Rescue
and I am not sure if I am ready for that kind of commitment. He doesn’t go to Uni and still lives where I grew up, quite a long way away, and he has decided he would like to live in my student house next year. I love him, and we have been together for ages, but the thought scares me a little. What should I do?

What to do with my life?
I am in my final year and about to graduate but have started thinking about when I leave. I don’t have a clue what I want to do with my life, and am also scared of losing my friends as I have never been one to stay in contact with people even when I want to! I would appreciate any advice.

Travelling is a great experience, but it will always be there. If this job is as good as you say it is then you have to take it as you may never get an offer like this again. The company may even let you take a sabbatical and you can take time out in a few years to travel. Maybe talk to them about it, but definitely don’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime…but make sure it really is a job you want because you may be stuck in it for a while.

If you love him, what’s the problem? Living with someone is the ultimate test as to whether a relationship is going to work or not and it is a scary thing. However, talk to him about it and make sure you have an agreement between you both that if things aren’t working then you talk about it and if you need to go your separate ways then you can. Good luck!

So many people are in this position so don’t panic. As for the career, do a search on the Web and loads of graduate jobs will come up, or go to the careers office on campus and they’ll help you any way you need it. With relation to keeping in touch with your friends, leaving Uni will help you figure out who your real friends are. There are so many ways to stay in touch, facebook, myspace, and arrange get togethers. Don’t let your friends go…they are valuable.

Maybe I should quit...
THE PROBLEM: I am about to finish my first year and I don’t know if I want to carry on with my degree. I haven’t enjoyed it very much and am not sure if I am really going to need it. Is quitting the answer? SISTER SOPHIE
SAYS: University is a life changing

Dream job or travelling?
I have been offered an excellent job when I finish Uni, but I am not sure if I want to take it as I really want to travel. However, I am not sure this opportunity will come up again. Should I put off my dreams of travelling?

Should I move in or not?
THE PROBLEM: My boyfriend wants to move in with me

experience and can shape your future. If you can stick with it, do so as you may regret it in the future. Maybe join some groups next year to increase your social life. However, if you really are unhappy, talk to someone about it before it gets you down. Either way, you need to be happy!

Emergency exit

Embarassing Moments
Juggling is not egg-tastic! Fall caught on CCTV
Why do guys always feel the need to show off? I was shopping at Tesco’s with a mate of mine when he decided to impress me with his juggling skills. Did he chose oranges or something soft like that? No…he chose eggs! And what happened? He was juggling then, quite impressively I must say, until a little kid distracted him and he dropped them all! What a plonker! Massive mess, and I made him go and tell someone so he could clean it up himself! Think he needs to put his juggling skills to rest! I was at work the other day and me and the other staff were playing around, trying to be the first to answer the phone and putting others off when speaking to customers! At one point, the phone rang and I ran for it, but as I went behind the till I fell over flat on my arse! It really hurt, and customers were laughing at me as I lay behind the till in agony! The worst bit was that it was all caught on CCTV and a picture is now up in the staff room…shall never hear the end of it!

I am a such a chicken, I admit it, and I really proved it when my mate dragged me into the chamber of horrors in Madam Tussauds! I didn’t want to go, but my friend made me as she didn’t want to go herself, and I thought I would be ok, but when I got in there and people started jumping out at me I started shitting myself! I was screaming, and absolutely inconsolable! My friend had to get one of the men to take us out of an emergency exit! It’s strange now because I know they are just men dressed up in costume, but I don’t think I’m ever going to go back there again!


International Week a success!
the practice sessions were absolute fun. New friendships blossomed and it was ecstatic time with old friends. We all have celebrated this wonderful occasion showing to the people -world’s largest diversity (India) yet standing together! Our successful team beat with one heart and we all had enjoyed this gala time tremendously. These were the few best weeks we’ve all had together. I would like to mention special thanks to Thayana and Zoë from the Students’ Union. They were of great help and extended their timely co-operation in an efficient manner even when we bombarded them with zillions of questions. Thanks to all the organisers and the Vice-Chancellor.

THE INTERNATIONAL WEEK had begun just at the right time when we students were frustrated with the so called ‘academic world’. This week we had to perform and entertain the audience and get appreciated!! It sounds simple, but it involved lot of organisation, interaction, rigorous practice and brain-storming sessions. All the members of Indian Student Association (ISA) got involved with much energy and enthusiasm to show off their talents. We all had successfully managed to get the right balance between our personal and academic life (for a few weeks!!). Most of the performances were group dances. So


30 April - 25 May 2007


Almost Accurate Astrology
21 Jan – 19 Feb Things are bubbling inside you and not in a good way! You have to let it out before it is too late and it starts eating you inside. Make sure no one sees you doing that thing that you do, or you may be red-faced. Lucky advice: Look out for toadstools! Lucky day: Friday about it first to reduce the shock factor. You shall begin to sleep better soon, but for now just use the extra time to get things done! Lucky advice: Don’t wear yourself thin. Lucky day: Monday Lucky advice: Duck before it is too late! | Lucky day: Monday





20 Feb – 20 Mar A friend shall ask you to do something that you do not want to do, and you must stick by your guns or the relationship may be ruined forever! Your personal space is important to you, so don’t let them intrude. Lucky advice: Watch neighbours for tips! Lucky day: Tuesday

22 May – 20 June Someone you admire shall come to you this week, so make sure you carry a camera wherever you go! Don’t overdo it on appearances as some people prefer you as you are, not who you pretend to be. Lucky advice: Rock on to your heart’s content! | Lucky day: Sunday


23 Aug – 22 Sept Don’t give in to temptation this week, you are doing so well and it’ll only set you back and upset you. Clear it away and go jump on the bed. This shall prove a valuable source of therapy. Lucky advice: Take it on the head! Lucky day: Friday

23 Nov – 21 Dec Things are raining down on you, but don’t worry as an umbrella shall come to you soon in the form of someone fit! Dressing up is fine, but do it in your own time and don’t expect others to be up for it as much as you are! Lucky advice: Live for the moment! Lucky day: Sunday




21 Mar – 30 April An inconsiderate Cancer will bring chaos to the end of your week if you’re not lucky. Rise above it, just remember that being charitable like you are you will be rewarded someday! Lucky advice: Don’t look behind you! Lucky day: Saturday

21 June – 22 July Money is a concern lately, but just learn to live a little less extravagantly! Try something new without quitting before you finish the job, it may be your life but it affects other people too. You may find yourself apologising to an angry Aries! Lucky advice: Don’t give up the day job! Lucky day: Wednesday

23 Sept – 22 Oct It’ll soon be over so just knuckle down and let the hard work pay off. Do not let someone else drag you through it or you shall never reach your full potential. Bananas shall help you through your difficult time, although a bit of redbull may be needed also! Lucky advice: Party hard when it’s over! Lucky day: Saturday


22 Dec – 30 Jan Partying may be on the cards, but watch out for someone trying to make you fall flat on your face. Embarrassing moments are always the result of someone out to get you! Make sure you give them competition. Lucky advice: Get the bus if you can! Lucky day: Thursday




21 April – 21 May Your hidden past comes to bite on the butt this week, so maybe you should tell someone

23 July – 22 Aug You shall be rescued by your friends this week when things turn out a little nasty between you and someone. Remember violence is not the answer, so brush up on your smart-allic remarks and give it to them!

23 Oct – 22 Nov You have a talent, don’t let it go to waste by listening to the wrong people. Don’t let arguments last forever, get over it and move on. Use music as a source of motivation, jump to the beat! Lucky advice: Smarties have the answer! Lucky day: Wednesday

BY TOBY SHANNON DEPUTY EDITOR WE’VE ALL READ the reports about all the magic things that you can eat to keep you healthy- pomegranates, blueberries and so forth but let’s face it; they’re a little on the pricey side and unless you’re into your fruit in a biiiiiiig way, they might not be appearing on your shopping list anytime soon. Here’s a list of things that are lousy with goodness- vitamins, minerals, you name it- these bad boys are packed with them. Then again, you can’t go wrong with a varied diet and a nice piece of fruit every now and again.


These aren’t going to be at their best until the autumn but the supermarket ones are still ok.Whether you like them red, green or a mixture, they’re high in fibre, they help to eliminate cholesterol and they even keep the doctor away.

Did you know that if you rub a cut clove of garlic on your foot, you’ll eventually be able to smell it on your breath? Me neither but apparently it’s true… Plus you’ll have stinky feet. The malodorous bulb is a powerful helper for the immune system and stimulates the production of white blood cells. It’s also a powerful aphrodisiac [actually, no it isn’t, I made that bit up] and if used topically, it’ll keep away 100% of vampires.

If Popeye was anything to go by, this has to be a good idea. This is full of Iron which is great for blood and muscles and there’s plenty of potassium and calcium which is good for your teeth, bones and a healthy heartbeat. Again, if it was good enough for Popeye… These leaves wilt down to nothing so fling them by the handful into pasta sauces or raw in sandwiches and salads.

Herbs - Rosemary, sage and thyme
Some say ‘erbs but in English it’s herbs. Because there’s an ‘h’ in it… They have loads of natural antiseptic properties and rosemary is good for the circulation and aids the absorption of vitamin C. They’re excellent with meat- try rubbing a pork steak with olive oil, garlic and chopped rosemary and sling it in the grill. Well, there you go... a complete banquet of goodies to keep you in fine health. Super!

These dark green, wrinkly leaves are a little bit of an acquired taste but it’s got plenty of iron and fibre. It’s best if you briefly boil or steam it and be generous with the butter.Alternatively, stick it in a stir-fry.

They’re starting to come into season so you can say goodbye to the lifeless ones of winter and say ‘Hellooooooo!’ to the juicy niceness of summer! Toms are great for the immune system, packed with vitamins and they even have some antiviral properties to help you ward off summer sniffles.

Personally, this isn’t my favourite veggie in the world but that doesn’t mean it isn’t good! It’s great for the immune system, blood and circulatory system. It’s not bad if you stir- fry it with a bit of soy sauce and garlic and it’ll have a bit of personality.



30 April - 25 May 2007

6) Thousands of years. (9) 7) Reviews records and procedures. (6) 8) Surname shared by Dermot and Michael, of Big Brother fame and Ryanair CEO-ship. (1’ 5) 9) Aldous ------: author of Brave New World. (6) 15) A verdict reached without any party expressing dissent. (9) 17) Reel Dave appallingly unveiled. (Cryptic) (8) 18) Answer; reaction. (8) 20) Spreading malicious, untrue claims against someone through speech. (7) 21) Attract; lure away from duty or principles. (6) 22) Concur; support. (6) 23) Consecrate visible chorda investiture. (Cryptic) (6) 25) Provide food for an event; make provisions for a person’s needs. (5)

A special bumper edition of puzzles brought to you by our very own Puzzlelord, Colin Everett. Unfortunately we didn’t have space for answers this time... oops! Clues Across:
1) Seed; half of Ali Baba’s password. (6) 4) Old name for graphite; lead ores. (8) 10) German city, in which the headquarters of the European Central Bank are located. (9) 11) Put firmly in place; country house. (5) 12) They’re at the end of your sleeves. Well, if you’re wearing a shirt, they will be. (5) 13) Cheesy London square? (Cryptic) (9) 14) The crime of lying under oath. (7) 16) Mustafa ----: Character from Brave New World. (4) 19) Game fish; a singer who can sing lower than bassbaritone. (4) 21) A triangle with three unequal sides. (7) 24) Surname shared by

Anton of West Ham United FC and Les of Newcastle United FC. (9) 25) Sneak up on someone; annoying person. (5) 26) US state, bordering on Washington, Nevada and Canada. (5) 27) Olympic event involving sprints of 100 and 200 metres, as well as shotput, discuss and javelin throw. (9) 28) Office of one in government; the practise of faith. (8) 29) See 2 down.

Clues Down:
1) A digital reproduction of a document, rather than a paper one. (4, 4) 2) and 29ac. Home stadium for Shaun Wright-Phillips and Joe Cole. (8, 6) 3) Constructs; models. (5) 5) The lightest metal. (7)



30 April - 25 May 2007



Fill in the puzzle and work out the corresponding letters to the numbers in order to break the code. Then work out the answer to the question below the key grid.




30 April - 25 May 2007



The Food Thief
fridays, yet food disappears every day of the week. Secretly, I considered the possibility that I was the food thief. I had once seen a documentary about sleepwalkers, and one of them would go to the fridge every night and eat without remembering the next morning. Could it be me? I cast the suspicion away. When I got back to campus after Christmas, Mike told me he had a suspect. It seems that after this person had left for the holiday, food had stopped disappearing. From then on, whenever something disappeared, he put angry notes on the wall above the kitchen sink. “To whomever it may concern, your lack of respect disgusts me!” and “I laced my milk with laxatives, food thief”. He told me he had put “something” on his ham, hoping that it would get stolen. Every time I opened the fridge I heaved, the thought of “something” mingling with my food was making me lose my appetite. The kitchen turned into a pig-sty, nobody wanted to clean it for the food-thief. I had dreams about rats dancing in front of the refrigerator, playing with little dried up onion rings and milk caps.The kitchen turned into a war-zone, everybody was in a foul mood. I urged the others to be moderate, is it worth it, I asked them, to lose our kitchen to this food thief? I didn’t mind an egg or two disappearing, and at least the food thief had the decency to never drink all my milk, always leaving me a little for my morning coffee (which is more than I can say for my brother, my own flesh and blood). Months passed like this, names were never named, but we all knew, and assumedly the food-thief knew as well. I wondered what possessed this person, what drove the person to nick other people’s items of food knowing how much it annoyed

IT STARTED WITH a piece of ham, which disappeared from Mike’s shelf in the fridge early October last year. He talked about that ham an awful lot, and I got the feeling that he either a) suspected me, or b) was a bit of a kitchen-control-freak (or c) both). Throughout October, he noticed little things disappearing from his shelf, another piece of ham, a lump of cream-cheese, a spoonful or so of mayo. He continued to drone on about it ad nauseam and I laughed it away, thinking him a fool. Little did I know, the food thief would soon come to dominate our lives... In November, Andy started noticing things missing. His milk, lumps of butter, baklava. We started congregating in the kitchen, my flatmates and I.There were six of us. It couldn’t be Andy, it couldn’t be Mike, they were the victims, not the perpetrators. I knew I wasn’t guilty, and I was pretty sure Anne, my best friend from home, was innocent too. That left Victrola and John. Hrm... It couldn’t be either of them, could it? Suspicion arose throughout the flat, giving the air a twist of bile. About mid-November, I was cooking up an omelette, and I noticed that there was an odd number of eggs in the box. Strange, I thought, I always use two eggs at a time, never one, never three. Soon enough, all the flatmates had “had something stolen”. We discussed over cups of tea the possibility of outsiders accessing our kitchen. The flat next to ours had windows adjacent to ours, I mentioned this but the others thought I was being silly. Who would risk their lives for slices of ham and milk? The cleaner, could it be him? No, he only comes on

and disturbed. Well, I thought, two can play this game. I would lay out bait, a piece of chocolate cake encased in plastic, or an especially succulent looking piece of chicken. It wasn’t tampered with or anything, I just wanted them to take it. Perhaps hoping to catch them in the act, perhaps it was a power thing, I don’t know. Things took off right before easter, the food thief gained courage. Whole packets of salami were stolen. I came home from a lecture one day to find what had been an unopened jar of curry sauce half empty in my cupboard. The nerve! A tin of green giant corn had been replaced with a coop-brand corn. As if I wouldn’t notice! The cup ran over when I heard John’s story. He had bought a chocolate cake to share with a friend for his birthday. It was in a closed box in the fridge. He had left the kitchen for a few hours, and when he got back he found the cake on the counter, opened and missing a big slice. Last week, I was affected again. Anne had bought a box of chocolate icing and cake-mix to make me a leaving-do cake. The icing only lasted a few hours in the cupboard.That’s really nice, I thought. No more games. Food thief, I know who you are. If you read this you’ll probably know who I am as well. I don’t mind the stuff disappearing, I’m really not bothered by the thought of you lurking in my cupboards.What is bothering me is a seething curiosity. I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight, it has already affected my marks, I am absolutely dying to know. Why did you take the box of chocolate icing, and leave the cake-mix?


The secret life of online dating
It became addictive pretty quickly, suddenly what seemed like a good laugh seemed like the best way to find a bloke. Responses to my profile were pouring in, and I was having at least two emails a day. I even had the option of telling my would be match I wasn’t interested. It was just so easy to find a bloke I actually wanted to date! Some profiles were sparse with details, others were jam-packed, and one I came across even had 30 odd pictures. I could quickly tell which guys were players, or only on there for a laugh, names such as ‘snogtastic’ really gave that away! After emailing one guy quite a bit we swapped msn addresses, and seemed to get on great, from his profile I could see we had loads in common. It wasn’t long before we were arranging to meet up, and I admit, of all the online dating processes this was by far the worst, but I had a great day… Now I’m onto the third guy, my friends are amazed that I have been on so many dates! But, he is definitely my last, let’s just say, for the time being, I have met my match! It was all so easy… much easier than meeting a guy in a pub, no wonder soo many people are now joining online dating sites. Last year alone, Uk based online dating agencies reported having 6 million subscribers (BBC)… 6 million people, hardly likely to meet that amount of people in your local are you? Here are my top tips for the dating world… 1) Be yourself! It was exceptionally easy to tell when people were embellishing themselves. It was also easy to tell when people were trying to be chatty when really they were quite shy. Just be yourself, you wouldn’t want any ‘surprises’ when you meet up with people so it is unfair to think other people

OK, SO I ADMIT IT, I, at the age of 19 joined a dating agency. And, do you know what? I am proud of it; in fact it’s probably the best thing I have ever done! Admittedly at first I was worried about the potential pervy stalker men, but in reality, yes they could be out there people actually join these sights because they want to find love. At 19, you would think there was little need for me to join a dating agency, and you are probably right, I could easily have had my fair share of blokes from Uni, but I joined because I was curious. But it was more than that, it seems all we can do to meet potential matches is go out to a bar, get chatting to someone and hope they take your number. But do you actually know the person? Chances are, probably not! Yes, you could be one of the lucky ones who were introduced to your love interest through a friend, but as I say you were lucky! Most of us other people have to battle with rejection, embarrassment and awkwardness every day in the hope of finding someone special. I needed an ego boost at the time and it all seemed relatively simple, with a click of a mouse and a little bit of information about myself I was good to go, suddenly a world of hot men opened up to me (and ladies I mean, there are some HOT men). Hurrah! Within a day I had had 8 people interested in me and respond to my profile… admittedly this did deter me somewhat with the majority of them being 35! But, there were a couple of maybes, and I found myself quickly drawn into the world of online dating.

will put up with your ‘surprises.’ 2) Don’t be afraid to make the first move… I am being constantly ribbed now because with the guy I’m currently dating I made all the first moves, but you won’t get if you don’t ask. Making the first move may seem daunting but what have you got to lose? You only have everything to gain. 3) Be weary when you meet up, but don’t be afraid to do it. It took me two weeks before I met the first person, and two previously arranged dates before I finally met him, I went armed with a rape alarm and everything, but he was exactly who he said he was. Ok, yes, there are some people on there who are fakes someone I met was telling me of the emails they were receiving from girls asking for money and that sort of thing. But, the truth is there are lot more people out there looking for love than you might think. 4) Have fun, don’t look desperate. Someone I know got told by someone they met on a dating site that they were ‘a virgin and was looking for someone to ‘deflower’ him’ No joke! What was her response? RUN! Just let things happen naturally and enjoy yourself, you may find love within a month, it may take longer, it may never happen, but the chances it will will be more if you be yourself and have fun! A lot of people reading this may be sceptical, is it really that easy to find your life partner? Honestly, no, it is never easy to find your life partner, but if you are looking for some fun, and are willing to be found by the right person then give it a try… you honestly have nothing to lose, but everything to gain!

Remember to sign up to the Students’ Union Newsletter, Grapevine, at

Remember to sign up to the Students’ Union Newsletter, Grapevine, at


30 April - 25 May 2007


UN at UniS
all of you for your commitment, and wish you a most stimulating meeting.” The mock UN meeting was the culmination of the ‘UN at UniS’ project, which gave students key transferable skills that prepared them for the day, and for work and life, such as negotiating, compromising, consensus building and persuading. Students learnt about the views of other countries around the world, politics, the UN and how they affect their lives. The Deputy Vice-Chancellor of the university, Professor John Turner, opened the event and sent the student delegates off to their committees. Students took on the role of a country, which they negotiated and debated for. In the Human Rights Council, delegates discussed the human rights situation in Iraq and there were impassioned pleas for an end to the spiralling conflict in the country.Tensions were high between delegates in the Special Political and Decolonisation Committee, who were discussing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.The committees were brilliantly chaired by Surrey’s politics students who ensured the rules were adhered to while at the same time ensuring free and fair debate between all the delegates. Surrey’s students were invaluable in helping put together resolutions which were successfully passed in both committees. Delegates discussing human rights in Iraq noted their deep concern for the suffering of the Iraqi people, and sought “to restore Iraqi unity as the ultimate means for a long-term solution to the humanitarian crisis.” They called for: “UN forces to create an all-Iraqi infrastructure so that Iraq with the help of other like-minded states can redevelop and govern themselves.” The committee suggested: “that the present force remove itself within the next 12 months. This will be overseen by a UN force.” The delegates: “pledged international aid regarding education, health, training for security and work forces, and free trade with relevant countries, as well as aid to refugees to promote independence of the Iraqi people overall.” Delegates discussing the Israeli-Palestinian situation authorised: “the creation of an independent Palestinian state alongside the Israeli state.” They emphasised: “the need for simultaneous cessation of all terrorist activity from both sides as well as the Israeli’s leaving current Palestinian activities,” and the “return of Palestinian refugees to Palestine territory.” They proclaimed “that there be a buffer zone of UN Peacekeeping corps to control the borders to be comprised of Africa or Latin



STUDENTS FROM THE University of Surrey and further education colleges in the south east of England who came together to solve some of the world’s most intractable problems at the United Nations (UN) meeting at the University of Surrey, received a message of support from the head of the UN. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, sent a message to the students participating in the meeting, noting the importance he attaches to connecting with young people and how the UN inspired him in a fundamental way. He said: “To succeed as Secretary-General, I will need to work in partnership with every one of our Member States… “We the Peoples”, in whose name the United Nations was founded, have a right to expect a UN which serves the needs of people everywhere. “That is where I need your support. You can build a better understanding of our United Nations -- what it is, what it does, and what it can do. In that spirit, I thank

“That is where I need your support. You can build a better understanding of our United Nations -- what it is, what it does, and what it can do. In that spirit, I thank all of you for your commitment, and wish you a most stimulating meeting.”
Secretary General Ban Ki-moon

American troops,” and “that Jerusalem be made a free international city controlled by the UN.” All the delegates reconvened to discuss their resolutions, which were passed in the General Assembly. Lord Hannay, the UK’s highest representative to the UN during the first Gulf War and the genocide in Rwanda was the event’s guest speaker. He talked about the importance of the UN and the key challenges it faces and answered students’ questions, including one about the proposals in their resolution. Lord Hannay presented the best student delegates with prizes. The project is run by the Department of Political, International and Policy Studies at the University of Surrey and is comprised of a number of events at the students’ colleges, online activities, and the final mock UN meeting. The event also has the strong support from Minister of State at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Dr Kim Howells. Ben Miller, the project’s Outreach Officer, said: “This final event was a great success. The students thoroughly enjoyed themselves and learnt so much about themselves, politics, international affairs and the importance of the UN. These students managed to solve some of the world’s most difficult issues - maybe it’s time politicians started to listen to them.” The aim of this ‘UN at UniS’ project is to encourage students to continue their studies and increase their aspirations in life. It offers participants the chance to reflect on their learning and contribute to various evaluation and dissemination activities, making it an engaging, inclusive and democratic project. ‘UN at UniS’ is funded by the university’s widening access fund and contributes to the university’s wider aim of encouraging those who have been traditionally under-represented in higher education to progress to university and continue their studies. For more information about the project go to: and click on ‘schools and colleges’.



30 April - 25 May 2007


GU2: Surreys Resident Radio Station
BY OWEN HINDLEY GU2 STATION MANAGER IT’S BEEN AN eventful year here at GU2, with a lot of change afoot in the way we operate, which will hopefully carry on well into next year! We were delighted to be asked to host this year’s Freshers’ Fayre, being in charge of the biggest sound system there (except maybe for Presha!), and hosting such an amazing array of talent, from our own DJs to the sports clubs, music societies and the Gospel Choir (who were amazing) On the back of this we decided to be ambitious and run a fully blown event of our own; Transmission, involving all four (at the time) music societies, a ludicrously large sound system, and a live outside broadcast from the Students’ Union. The turnout in the end wasn’t great unfortunately, but those that did come had a good time, so I’m told! With the freshers came a big influx of exciting new shows, from Dazz’s Hotspot on a Thursday, Sazz’s Pet Sounds (did you see the posters?), the ACM’s Box Social boys pumping weeks, and the USMC’s Vertical Marathon, 26miles straight up to raise money for charity – at which we streamed the whole event live on, and a video of the event is also coming soon! More experimental live coverage came in the form of an outside broadcast from Fahrenheit 55 in Guildford, where we broadcast a live gig from Sea Foam Green on air using the Internet – a first for us and many student stations. In addition, we were broadcasting Box Social’s nights from various venues in Guildford, and more recently local house & breaks label SpinOut! has joined us, with a view to broadcasting their monthly nights, as well as exclusive guests slots from their DJs. GU2 is set to change dramatically next year, with a bigger push towards online shows, podcasts, news, music and video, whilst retaining the student-centred content you should expect from your student station!

out the dance music shoulder to shoulder with the wellestablished Cyclone Dance Show, and a massive boost to the Breakfast show roster, meaning for the first time in quite a while GU2 has had a breakfast show every day of the working week! Off-air, and indicating GU2’s move to more downloadable/ streamable content, we’ve hosted live sessions from some great local bands, such as Without Grace, the Retox, Sea Foam Green, and more recently Jenny Ball. We were also there for Boris Johnson’s speech in Chancellors, the video of which is in the pipeline, for release in the next few

Get the picture. Get involved. Get online.


30 April - 25 May 2007



Without articles, news stories, features and all the other general submission that make up every edition of barefacts, your student newspaper – like many others – would not be where it was today. Naturally, there would be nothing to print. Co-Editor, Josh Bates, reveals just how the process of transferring those written articles, adverts and such to the actual pages which appear before your very eyes actually happens…
EVERY YEAR, every Editor and every person involved in what’s known as the “lay-up process” maintain that many, many hard hours of tough labour go into barefacts. Throughout its many incarnations over the past 40 years, this process has changed dramatically.Whilst the paper is no longer designed using “onion-skin” stencils with ribbonless typewriters, getting the paper to print and circulated around campus is still a rather lengthy job from start to finish. Each week this year barefacts has held an Editorial Team meeting on Mondays at 6pm in the Union Committee Room at Union House. Here, all section Editors turn up (some more regularly than others) to discuss the impending deadline of the current issue, submissions and ideas for future issues. This can vary from feedback on old editions, things going on around campus to also improving the paper and making the process of getting it out to the rest of the student populace in a more efficient way. Any problems are discussed here and anybody wanting to make one off or regular submissions are also encouraged to come along if they want to get involved. Outside of meetings itself, each section Editor gets to work on their part of the paper. For the Features Editor, this means finding the latest Surrey Stud/Campus Honey, writing the Agony Sisters section and collating any other ‘Feature’-inspired submissions that they’ve been sent – editing them when necessary and responding to e-mails sent to them. Likewise, the News, Sport and Societies Editors do something very similar for their respective sections. For the Arts Editor, their job entails – other than receiving copious amounts of post(!) – the fortnightly CDhandout with their team of critics as well as reviewing gigs, films and anything else which falls under the umbrella of ‘barearts’. Meanwhile, the Editor and Deputy Editors are responsible for the smooth running of transitioning the submissions from section Editors to Adobe InDesign, the design package used to lay-up barefacts. Whilst there are various people involved in lay-ups process, including some of the section heads, much of the lay-up falls to the Editor and Deputy Editor (Design). This process takes place in the Communications Office, located in the USSU Activity Centre (two doors down from the Union President’s office). The office, arguably barefacts’ very own hub, is home to many late nights, early mornings and spontaneous Copy Editing is the barefacts newspaper nightmare. Every week, mistakes simply slip through the net. Whilst many articles are indeed run by our Copy Editor, sometimes looming deadlines can lead to this process being cut out entirely for some of the late(r) submissions. It is indeed a sad fact of life. Usually barefacts is all laid up and ready to go by the Wednesday of the second week of its fortnightly rotation plan. Whilst Sophia Hawkins & myself have lorded over the paper as this year’s Co-Editors, lest we not forget the almighty Editor-in-Chief, Greg Scott, our delightful Union President. Greg has the unfortunate job of taking home a draft copy of barefacts at least 24 hours before the print deadline. As Editor-in-Chief, his job really is not as glamorous as it might sound.At this stage the paper is checked to prevent anything that could potentially get us into legal problems slipping through the net. This includes plagiarism, libel and anything else that could land us with the law coming knocking on our office door. It might seem odd having a member of the USSU staff occupying such a high position of an editorial independent newspaper, but the Editor-in-Chief only has the power to stop things going to print for legal reasons, not because it doesn’t take their fancy! After having the draft copy returned to us (and loss of the will to continue), changes are made to the final copy. Any inaccuracies or inconsistencies picked up during the checking of the draft copy are modified and any remaining image or lay-up problems corrected. Each individual page is than exported as an .EPS (Encapsulated PostScript) file that is later converted, using Adobe Acrobat Distiller, to a .PDF (Portable Document Format) file. Finally, these 24-32 (in the case of this edition, 40) files are checked one final time and uploaded to the printers FTP server. And if anybody happens to notice a mistake in any of the pages before that process is over. They are, naturally, corrected and re-made. The online copy of the paper is then exported and posted on the barefacts minisite for the environmentally friendly reading pleasure. Then the whole cycle is repeated. Again, again and again… And you know you’ve made a difference. Plus a great improvement to your CV, too.

The making of barefacts
“It might sound simple enough, right...? WRONG!”
meetings. Plus also the occasional nervous breakdown (I kid you not). barefacts works on a fortnightly basis. During its first week of this rotation, the submission deadline is on the first Friday. Similarly, the print deadline, when everything must be ready and sent to print is midday on Friday of the second week. barefacts is made by students for students and naturally deadlines are often missed in light of study, coursework and exams. During times of more heavy workloads, the paper can often suffer from a drought of submissions or conversely be overloaded during less busy study times. Either way, it is at the discretion of the Editor and the Deputy’s to decide what goes where and to make up, if possible, for lack of submissions from particular sections whilst simultaneously answering e-mails, approaching various people to write for the paper and liaising with members of USSU staff – such as Alan Roy, Venue Manager (who does the Grapevine section of the paper) and Aaron Salins, Marketing Co-ordinator (who provides us with various adverts and the like). It might sound simple enough, right...? WRONG! The barefacts Editorial Team, just like any other student, also have their own degrees to do. Fitting in the time – especially in light of delayed submissions – can lead to odd working hours aside from the other frustrations of trying to make the newspaper look presentable! Pictures must be in the CMYK colour format (Cyan, Magenta,Yellow and Black). The four so-called process colours (technically, they are “subtractive” colours) that are used in four-color printed reproduction. Most, if not all, received images to the barefacts inbox arrive in the RGB (Red, Green and Blue) colour format and converting the 70-90 pictures included in every issue is a necessity before sending the paper to print.

“Copy editing is the barefacts newspaper nightmare.”

barea ts
The Electric Soft Parade No Need to Be Downhearted Truck Records
‘No Need To Be Downhearted’ marks the triumphant and eagerly awaited return of The Electric Soft Parade - their first LP release since 2003’s ‘The American Adventure’, and incidentally, the only album they’ve released this year entitled ‘No Need To Be Downhearted’. Oh yes, it’s all groundbreaking stuff here in Barefacts… ESP made their name with the release of ‘Holes In The Wall’: One of those albums you just think ‘this is brilliant. I wish all music sounded like this. I’m going to go and buy more music like this. Wow. I love it. I’m going to make some cheese on toast’. If you are unaware of this release, it was nominated for the Mercury Music Prize in 2002 so FLIPPIN’ GO AND BUY IT. A mixture of astounding pop-riffs, fuzzy synths, and gorgeous hooks, it was actually a real shame they didn’t achieve more widespread success. This new release from Alex and Tom White (brothers, not married) is a step in a different direction from their earlier movements – the first thing you notice is the lack of any instantaneous-punch-you-in-the-face riffs that would normally appear on earlier ESP releases. Of course, the odd one exists: ‘Life In The Backseat’ has the fun, organ-bursting Strokes-esque angle covered, ‘If That’s The Case, Then I Don’t Know’ is more mature-sounding, but nevertheless, darn catchy, and ‘Cold World’ could’ve been lifted directly from ‘Holes…’ (in fact, it did appear on the boys’ 2005 EP the ‘Human Body EP’). , HOWEVER, there are more sombre songs, and not surprisingly, these are the ones that drag a little and aren’t as… fun. To be fair, I just want classic old ESP tracks. But I can appreciate that sometimes you simply need to move on [sobs]. And this is exactly what’s happened. The word ‘mature’ applies a lot here; although the cheekiness still shines through in a lot of the tracks, the ‘killer’ tunes just aren’t there. What I really need to do is approach this album as an outsider, and listen to what ‘No Need…’ has to offer, as I do believe there’s more to it than meets the eye… 3.5/5 Patrick Hunter

Send your enquiries to:
Arts Editors Patrick Hunter & Jake South

The Maccabees Colour It In Fiction, Polydor
Many who are into ‘indie’ music, will no doubt be aware that the Maccabees have been knocking around for some time now. They were on MTV2 (the primary source of all my musical knowledge) roughly a year ago. Alas, finally they are releasing an album named ‘ Colour it in’ on the 14th May, with their single ‘Precious time’ out on the 7th May. Previously, they have supported bands like the Fratellis and Bloc Party on tour, and now it seems are venturing out on their own. Out of the two they are most definitely more like Bloc Party. They are a British 5 piece band, with a distinct sound. They sound similar to a lot of music around at the moment, but still manage to have a unique style, mainly found in their vocals. This may seem contradictory, but it only takes one listen to realise that I’m not actually insane. My favourite tracks are ‘about your dress’ and the last track ‘Toothpaste Kisses’, but that might just be the old romantic in me! Currently, I am becoming a bit of an old woman when it comes to new music; I’m not really getting excited about any new bands out at the moment. Something seems to have gone missing, a spark that I used to like in some of the older ones such as Blood arm and Milburn (though Q magazine would disagree). The Maccabees manage to put a slight smile on my face, but I don’t jump up and down about them. I don’t feel the need to tell anyone who will listen or frantically force people to buy the CD because their life would be the better for it. However, that may just be me, and my old womaness. 3/5 Rachael Fitz-Patrick

Razorlight Earls Court, London 08/04/07
Razorlight were one of my first musical loves. I loved all that they did, memorised all their words and generally thought they were brilliant. This was in high school however; no I’m not a total loser. Whilst others, have put down their songs and moaned about the arrogance of Johnny Burrell, I have relentlessly stood by them. When I was given the chance to see them on Easter Sunday at Earls Court I jumped at the chance, almost exploded with excitement and began to count down the days. I had never been to this venue before, and so in my mind hadn’t really prepared myself for just how big it was. As most of you probably know, it’s huge!! I got there as soon as the doors opened, and settled myself in what I deemed to be a good spot, and waited. The support acts were nothing to write home about, but I didn’t care. As 9 o’clock drew nearer it began to get very busy, and I began to get more and more excited. When they came on stage I did the obligatory whooping, and as

I had previously predicted (not cool I know) they opened with ‘In the morning’. The rest is really a blur, I knew every song and every word and it didn’t matter, because everywhere around me there were other Razorlight fans, together we were not judged. Roughly 3 songs in, Johnny did what he does best and took off his shirt. One thing he did not do however, is introduce the band, which I personally think is just a bit impolite. The lighting and effects were amazing, and the amount of preparation needed to organise a gig that big is all very impressive! Their final song of the night (in the encore) was ‘Somewhere Else’. It was there last night, so it was the last song of the whole tour, which was pretty cool. The gig didn’t make my life feel complete, but it certainly ticked a box, a big one at that. 5/5 Rachael Fitz-Patrick Fancy getting involved in this section next year? Find out more about the Arts section by e-mailing


30 April - 25 May 2007
An Interview with The Horrors Concorde 2, Brighton 11/04/07
I had been sat on the railings outside of Concorde 2 for a short while; enjoying Brighton’s ocean line views and watching a small train/tram carry excited infants across the beach. Shortly before, I had witnessed one of the supports scheduled for the show at Concorde later that evening, Neil’s Children, skim stones into the sea whilst standing knee high in the water, skin tight jeans rolled up to their thighs. Several events had already happened, however as I sat in the sun a taxi pulled up alongside me, shortly followed by another releasing four dark and incredibly thin individuals; 4/5s of The Horrors. Immediately a small group of youths circled Faris Rotter, Spider Webb, Coffin Joe and Tomethy Furse who enthusiastically signed souvenirs, posed for pictures and were presented with home made gifts. After observing the highlight of these loitering fanatics’ lives, Faris the lead singer of the band, headed in my direction. Towering above me at 6’6”, I introduced myself to Faris before he lead me through the rubble that was the stage being prepared and up to The Horrors dressing room. In the NME awards earlier this year Faris received the “Best Dressed” award, whereas this may be a debateable decision there is no doubt that his clothing, and of the entire band, is extremely creative and inspired. Faris was dressed in a black shirt sleeves rolled up, black skinny jeans and black boots

charity shops and things like that” Faris begins to tell me as we position ourselves around a tiny aluminium table. “I think if you’re a music fan the natural progression is to want to start your own band and make your own music, or at least it should be. I think maybe what separates us from a lot of people is the desire to look deep into what’s immediately available” he continues. It is evident that The Horrors are serious about the music they are into, despite the almost expressionless tone of Faris’s voice, he knows what he’s talking about. “When it comes to actually DJing or collecting, you know, vinyl is more rewarding because for a start a lot of stuff on vinyl has never been put on to CD. Also it’s just not as easy; it takes a bit more dedication. It’s really rewarding to find something you’ve been searching for, more often than not it will take a lot of effort and also I think it sounds better, but CDs and MP3’s have they’re purpose. You can’t take a record player with you on a plane. But I’m not against it I just know what I prefer, what I have more fun with” Faris elucidated. The Horrors have been accused time and time again that they’re image is the primary concern of the band, not the music they produce. Their appearance is extremely important to them yes, this was made clear as behind me Coffin Joe sorted his way through a bag of materials he had bought only a couple of hours earlier in preparation for the gig that night. However, The Horrors music has just as much thought and meaning behind it as any other band or artist. “I think that for music lovers our music appeals because we make music for the love of it ourselves. We never really considered what anyone else was doing as a band; it’s purely what we wanted to do. We weren’t really ever aware of what anyone else was trying to achieve and we weren’t really bothered by it. We’re not really trying to sound like anyone else” Faris tells. Since the beginning of the year The Horrors have toured the country continuously as well as the U.S, and are currently dominating Europe. After this they embark upon yet another tour across America with BRMC, with possible plans set for an additional U.K tour upon said I was holding this against them. Had they sold out? Did they not care about us anymore? I turned up at the gig, ready to see an arrogant Matt Hales, but to my utter delight he was lovely. He apologised for everything that had gone on, and so I forgave him all his sins. Seeing all the songs you’ve learnt word for word from when you were in high school sung live, may create a slight bias when reviewing this gig. However, my boyfriend agreed, they are pretty darn special. They created a mixture of old and new songs that seemed to fit together giving us a taste of the new stuff, but not forgetting where they came from. For those of you who


will buckles all down the side. As I entered the room and began to prepare myself Faris and Coffin Joe, dressed in a black turtle neck, black skinny jeans with an enormous silver buckle, and spotlessly shiny laced shoes, discussed their previous doings in Brighton’s town centre whilst studying the selection of 7” vinyl’s Faris had purchased. “You know, we’ll search through 7” racks in

their return to the British Isles. Is touring important to The Horrors then I hear you scream? “Absolutely!” Faris answers. “I think that the way any band gets recognition is to tour constantly, and that’s how we did it really. We just played every week, multiple times every week over and over again around London and then further a field when we could afford it. That way if people are going to want to notice you then they will. That’s the key I think.” Touring isn’t the only way that the band has gained recognition. Faris himself, aged 20, has become known for his “Black Hand”, which involves him dipping his entire hand in black paint prior to stepping on stage. However this is something he does not do anymore and for good reason. Faris explains; “When stuff like that becomes predictable then you stop doing it. I just did it for a few shows on the NME tour because it’s just sort of a way of involving the crowd really. You know, when everyone comes off away from the stage after the show and they’re all covered in paint and sweat, it’s sort of this feeling of unity. It sounds stupid but it does really help to unite your fan base, and it makes people really feel they’re part of something. Obviously I wasn’t going to keep doing it because then it would just turn in to a f***ing gimmick”. Some advice for any of you who were thinking of dipping your hands into paint on a regular basis there then. If you are lucky enough to be going to one of the Reading or Leeds festivals or even Summer Sonic in Japan this summer, then you will have the chance to see The Horrors live. “Strange House”, The Horror’s debut album is out now on Loog Records. Jake South are new to the sound of aqualung, it is predominantly a guy called Matt Hales, he writes songs, that actually mean something to him. For every track he is able to say what inspired him to write it and why. His brother Ben who plays the guitar and bass supports him. It makes each song special, and something everyone can relate to. Seeing them at ULU was quite simply, intense. I could practically touch him I was so close, and the base so loud it literally made all of me vibrate. There was no pushing, no shoving just admiration. 5/5 | Rachael Fitz-Patrick

Aqualung ULU, London 12/04/07
I have spent many years being an Aqualung fan, but now it seems I have progressed into the somewhat frowned upon area, called an obsessive. This only happened after seeing them live at ULU over the Easter holidays. It was after their first single strange and beautiful that I became hooked. I have both their current albums, and awaiting the third (on order from HMV), its out in America but alas not in the UK as of yet. It has to be



30 April - 25 May 2007


Where your money goes (Part 1)
IN LEGAL TERMS, a test case, is a court case which will decide a particular interpretation of a law which has never yet been tried in court, and the judgement of any test case is used in court in all subsequent court cases where that law is concerned. Bristol 1933 was setting for one such test case which has revolutionised the music and entertainment industry ever since, and has affected nearly everyone in the country in one way or another even though you have probably never heard of it. There is a coffee shop in Bristol, which has been a family business since the 19th Century, and in the thirties it was run by a Mr Stephen Carwadine. One day, Stephen hit upon the idea of introducing background music into his coffee shop, and so went down to his local record store and bought some records to play to his customers. The customers were happy, the owner of the record shop less so. The two arguments went like this; “I’ve bought the record from you, I can do what I like with it” Vs “You’ve only bought the record, the music on it doesn’t belong to you and you are not allowed to perform it in public”. This is an argument which is still raging today, except you can substitute record with music download, because although you buy a computer file with the music you want, you are restricted as to what you can do with it. In 1933 the idea of records, was as new as the MP3 is today. The argument was eventually taken up by The Gramophone Company (predecessor to EMI) who had released the 1931 recording ‘Overture, The Black Domino’, written by the French composer Auber and played by the London Symphony Orchestra. The Gramophone Company were represented in court by Stafford Cripps, who was to become MP for Bristol South East, and later Chancellor of the Exchequer. The test was to be the Copyright Act of 1911 which was the first act to give protection to records and other means of recording sound. The Gramophone Company & Stafford Cripps won, which then set in law the idea that the owners of sound recordings had the protection against the unauthorised broadcast of their records in public. In order to protect their interests a company was formed, PPL (Phonographic Performance Limited) to administer the rights of sound recordings for record companies, although began by EMI & Decca, gradually more and more companies joined the party. By the late thirties, PPL represented nearly forty record companies, and was issuing licenses to play sound recordings in public up and down the country, from Cinemas, Leisure Parks, Town Halls and or course Coffee Shops. As rock and roll spread through the world and the 78rpm became the 45rpm, the government decided that it was no longer fair for the record companies to be able to charge whatever they liked for playing records in public, and so the Performing Right Tribunal was created, to enable those buying licenses to challenge the cost of the license being charged. This was first used by a jukebox supplier who felt he was being overcharged by PPL, his claim was thrown out, and so as the jukebox became more popular, so increased the revenue to PPL. The way the public consumed music was now getting ever more diverse, in the 60s the radio landscape changed with the introduction of Radio 1 and round the country dance halls and night clubs were springing up – all of whom needed to pay for what they used. TV stations, adverts, films, shops, everywhere you heard background music, it all needs to be paid for, and skip forward to today, and last years revenues collected by PPL exceeded £80 million. There was however, one group of music users who never paid – Student Unions. The copyright acts had always exempted charities from being liable for PPL collection and so for years Student Unions (who are regarded as such) never had pay PPL so much as a bean for using music in discos, bars, and anywhere else. PPL themselves could not understand how organisations who operated commercially, and used their members music commercially (indeed made money out of playing them very load) got away with not paying; so in 1993 a long and sometimes bitter argument began between the two groups. PPLs opening salvo was to issue blanket invoices to all student unions, and at this point the NUS stepped in on behalf of the Unions, and told everyone not to pay as they were exempt. The invoices were then followed up with final demands, and then court summons, naturally most Unions were quite nervous, but the NUS advice was clear – don’t pay. Out of all the Unions threatened with legal action (including Surrey) the eventual bout was between Manchester University Union (represented by NUS) and PPL. The case was to take many years, but the eventual outcome was decided. Where the proceeds of any use of PPL controlled music was to go back into the Union, no fees were to be paid, but if the event was run by a private, third party promoter, then they would have to cough up. So far, so good, Student Unions could continue to not pay PPL for their use of recorded music. PPL, were not, however going to take this lying down, and then began an intensive period of lobbying to remove the exemption in the copyright act for charities, something which they half managed in 1999 with an amendment to the exemption clause. The new exemption said that the person playing the music could not be doing so for personal gain, so a DJ who is paid, or even a member or bar staff who is paid and turns on some background music behind the bar. The new exemption was open to many different interpretations, and indeed was an interpretation provided by the NUS legal team which differed (not surprisingly) a great deal from the opinion of PPL. NUS & PPL finally managed to agree a way forward a few years ago, and whilst the details of the agreement remain confidential the deal is pretty much accepted as being good for Unions and good for PPL. Surrey pays a number of thousand pounds every year to PPL, for the use of recorded music. Where, though does all the money go? Well a proportion goes to those who performed on the sound recording (the musicians) and some goes to the people who made the sound recording (the record company) an altogether separate licensing body PRS collects on behalf of those who wrote the music. Whatever side of the fence you sit on regarding music licensing, one thing is for sure it has created the modern music industry, and the modern music performer. Everywhere you hear music, be it shop, bar, radio or TV – somebody somewhere is receiving a royalty for it, and all from a coffee shop in Bristol 1933. Alan Roy

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Send your Top Tips for making your money last to: Student Advice & Information Service Wey Flat 2, Surrey Court, ext 9261

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30 April - 25 May 2007





30 April - 25 May 2007


The Conservative Society
BY RUPERT MEDDINGS CONSERVATIVE SOCIETY CHAIRPERSON THIS HAS PROVED to be a ground-breaking year for the Conservative Society. Currently enjoying our seventh year in existence, we were fortunate enough to be visited by Cabinet members and MPs alike since September, and next academic year can be even better, especially if more people get involved! We have held a host of exciting events throughout the year, and aim to attract more high profile speakers next year! Here’s a brief run-down of what we’ve been up to since September last year; • Following the overwhelming success of Fresher’s Fayre, when we were helped on the stall by Guildford MP Anne Milton and many prominent local councilors, we were visited by Shadow Secretary of State for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Peter Ainsworth (also the MP for East Surrey) in November, during a crucial week for green issues, to give a talk and answer questions on Conservative Environmental policy, • In February, we finally hosted the eagerly anticipated ‘Have I Got Boris For You’ event, where Shadow Higher Education Minister Boris Johnson came to Chancellor’s for a talk and Q&A session with students, after going on a tour of campus. • And another Shadow Cabinet member, this time Shadow Education Secretary David Willetts MP popped down for coffee and a chat with local council candidates and students in Chancellor’s at the beginning of March. As well as providing a social environment for like-minded people, the Conservative Society also aims to give students an opportunity to get involved in local politics, and ensure they are given all the support and encouragement necessary. For the May 2007 council elections, we have three members of the Society standing as candidates! If any of the above makes you think you’d like to get involved, at any level, email Chairman Rupert Meddings at, or visit our websites on or on the Union Societies page. We meet every Tuesady, at 7:30pm in Roots.

Liberal Democrat Society
USSU Best Political Society 2005-06
In February we held our ‘Cash For Beerages’ pub crawl, which was subject to the well known ‘international drinking laws’. However instead of taking a shot or drink as a penalty pub crawlers had to donate £1 to the ‘Save The Royal Surrey’ campaign. Thanks mostly to Chris and his colourful language we were able to raise over £30 for this important cause. The main event of spring 2007 saw us travelling to Bristol university for the LDYS conference. This was a long weekend of debating, voting, speeches as well as large quantities of pizza and alcohol, needless to say delivering leaflets at 8am whilst very hung-over is not fun! Our society was even successful in arranging a visit from Party Leader Sir Ming Campbell who came down to discuss crime and safety issue and sport facilities within Guildford, particularly highlighting the need for adequate CCTV in areas such as the Tesco underpass. We have taken an active role in helping Lib Dems get elected in the Borough Council elections in May, involving more students in the democratic process than ever before. BY KYLE CHAMBERLAIN LIBERAL DEMOCRAT SOCIETY PRESIDENT THIS HAS BEEN both an exciting as well as a busy year for the Lib Dem Soc. Our year started out with a visit from Lembit Opik MP, famously known for his appearances on ‘’Have I Got News For You’’ and his relationship with cheeky girl Gabriella. He joined students in a panel debate on whether smoking should be banned in private and public places. This popular topic was well attended by students and non-students alike and gave students the opportunity to take part in discussing what is a very current news item. Then of course came the regional conference held in Effingham. Our two student delegates managed to successfully introduce and pass a motion which slammed a potential policy of giving extra funding to candidates because of their gender or ethnicity, and insisted that we should not be engaging in positive discrimination, but to judge candidates on their merit instead of an unchangeable attribute. This year has seen us go from strength to strength with our society now having a 5 strong committee, Weekly meetings, more involvement from non-students and more involvement of the society in the local community. |

Get involved. Get online.


30 April - 25 May 2007




The Christian Union
where they would have been offered a free hot drink with a famous digestive to help them keep warm. The faithful CU team meet most Friday nights through till the early hours of the morning to spread the message of love and truth through the simple act of giving free drinks away. As well as the CUs extensive missions programme, the CU runs an International Café in conjunction with Friends International which works in supporting International Students throughout Campus. The Christian Union members are truly passionate about their faith and are a great bunch of guys.This year the CU have held several successful events including an extensive Freshers program and the very successful Events Week. The social aspect of the CU is thriving with regular planned outings locally as well as several trips away including two house party retreats. In addition to some of these activities the Christian Union runs a Christianity Explored Course and helps support a wide pastoral care initiative through the Christians in Sport programme and the Guildford Churches network as well as running major national awareness projects such as Stop the Traffic, promoting Christian justice issues around the University. So why do they do all of this? In short, the CU and its

THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY’S Christian Union more fondly known by its members as the CU is a diverse group of Christians from all walks of life. The CU is made up of a wide variety of Christian denominations including Anglicans, Baptists, Pentecostals, Evangelicals as well as many other members from church movements such as Assemblies of God and New Frontiers International. The Christian Unions wide membership of 150 odd faithful members is united with the sole mission of supporting Christians on Campus as well as spreading the Good News of the Gospel of Christ. The CU meets every week for its main meeting in Lecture theatre B for a time of modern Christian Worship as well as a variety of social events including the famous Thursday night drinks in Roots and the dedicated Christian Union Football team as well as weekly film nights. The CU is more famously known by its non members on campus for its hot tea, coffee and hot chocolate which the CU gives out free of charge weekly outside the Union. Most students will have come into contact with the CU, late at night, boozed up, outside in the freezing cold by the Union

members are passionate about the message of Christ and how they believe he has transformed their lives. The CU have a deep desire to help people within the University and ultimately see others come to know the love they believe they have found through Jesus Christ. The Christian Union is a buzzing, lively community full of committed students where anyone, Christian or not, can find true faith, friendship and support all year round. For more information on CU events check out their website at

Electronics and Amateur Radio Society
END OF YEAR REVIEW EARS SOCIETY 2006/07 HAS BEEN a great year for the Society, with lots of new members and activities going on. New projects are kicking off and plans are being made for next year already. Recently, the Society ran an amateur radio licensing course, to get students started with their first Foundation licence. We had 22 attendees and over the course of two Sundays, they learnt about the hobby ready for their exam. They also had hands on experience in practical sessions, learning how to use the radios, setting them up and making contacts “on the air”. We had 16 of the group successfully pass the exam (in the picture), some of whom have now received their callsigns and are ready to operate for themselves. Demand immediately started for the next level up, Intermediate and so another course has begun, spanning three weeks. This time, the course contains more electronics and so when the exam is taken on Sunday 25th March, we hope that the group (mostly consisting of electronic engineers) have little trouble! We still have demand for both Foundation and Intermediate courses, so if you’re interested in amateur radio, please come along to a meeting or look at our web site for more details. We hope to be running courses again at the start of the next academic year. With our new members, we’re currently working on a few projects, such as an on-going Earth-Moon-Earth signal bouncing project to reflect signals off the Moon and making contact with somewhere else on the Earth. As well as radio, this is a multi-discipline project, as it requires good mechanical knowledge for building the array of antennas and the rotators and also electronics knowledge for the controlling system. Also starting is a packet radio project, to provide a local node with e-mail, TCP/IP and BBS type services. We will be attending Kempton Radio Rally in April and also hope to be participating in a number of contests in the upcoming months. There’s a real variety of areas in the Society and there’s something for everybody. EARS has its meetings on Wednesdays at 1pm in 01AC03. Our web site is and our email is



30 April - 25 May 2007



The Law Society
way to the quarter finals and lost to Cambridge. This proves that we are now a force to be reckoned with! Surrey v Surrey The final of this year’s Internal Mooting Competition took place on Friday the 9th March at the Guildhall in Guildford. The legendary Judge Bull acted as the main judge, alongside a barrister from Guildford Chambers and our very own Head of Law Rosalind Malcolm. Guildford Chambers sponsored the event and therefore a number of barristers from Guildford Chambers were present. This was a particularly prestigious event and the quality of mooting was very high. Laura Williamson and Sophie Grew (2nd Years) v John Stanton and Michael Cullen (3rd Years) were the 2 pairs that had to endure the nerves and questions on the night. Many students attended and it was genuinely difficult to decide who would take the all important title of ‘winner’! The boys did finally win though! Congratulations go to both excellent teams. A shield with the names of the winning team inscribed upon it was provided by the committee in honor of the event, along with an individual trophy for a life long memory of their achievement. Congratulations go to all participants and to all who contributed their time and effort. Special thanks go to the staff of the law department for all their help and support. Claire has specifically asked us to thank all the students that supported her in the organisation especially those who acted as clerk of the court. Client Interviewing Another essential skill required for most professions including those in law, is the ability to deal with clients face to face and extract information and facts from them effectively. We hold a selection process internally to select three teams who represent Surrey, competing against The College of Law and Kingston University.This year the competition was fierce and we are extremely pleased with the performance our teams put in. Aisleen Ward and Holly Ball- 3rd Phil Blatchly and Jenna Stevens- 4th Emily Heinrich and Callum Macleod- 5th This meant that we gave the best overall performance.

Well… here it is, the end of the year and the Law Society has achieved more than ever before!! This is just an overview to all those who participated and assisted in making all the events so memorable and giving us something to be proud of. Mooting Many non-law students often ask what mooting is.The answer is a little complicated In a moot, two pairs of ‘advocates’ argue a fictitious legal appeal case in front of a ‘judge’. Whilst making your submissions to the court you will regularly be interrupted by the judge with questions or challenges to those submissions. To win, you do not necessarily have to win the legal case, but must make the best presentation of your legal arguments. Mooting is essential to improve advocacy and public speaking skills, which are essential skills for a lawyer. Surrey v The Rest Anyone will tell you how important mooting is for a budding lawyer.Yet little did we know at the beginning of the year of the supreme natural talent Surrey students have at mooting. This point was hit home when all our external mooter’s whizzed through their competitions, coming up against highly skilled students from other universities they used raw determination and nerve in tackling what seemed to be the impossible. As a society we hoped for the best, and we certainly wanted Law at Surrey to gain a good name through its representatives.This was achieved under the direction of the most able Mooting Mistress Claire Boucher and her team. Surrey entered into Oxford University Press Mooting Competition with Ashley Bowes and Kristy Wright who made it to the second round; Essex Court Chambers English Speaking Mooting Competition with Phillip Blatchly and Mark Gilmartin who made it to the second round ; Inner Temple Mooting Day with Claire Boucher and Sarah Maslen who made it all the way to the quarter finals and lost to Cambridge; Weekly Law Reports Mooting Competition with Michelle Morgan and Mishal Dattani who also made it all the

Law Ball Take a magical venue in a beautiful location; add in marvelous guests, elegance and a little pinch of flare. What do you get? Our rather prestigious Annual Law Ball! This was the jewel in the crown of this year’s Law Society social calendar. Amidst the swishing of ladies in fabulous ball gowns, dashing gentlemen in tuxedos and music from a great live band, an evening of pure enjoyment took place. Christmas Party This year the Law Society held its first ever Christmas Party in the HRB. It was a storming success with over 100 people attending, and with games such as “wrap the human in wrapping paper”, it is not surprising! We hope that this has set a precedent for future years.


30 April - 25 May 2007



Vertically Impossible!
BY ALFIE SIMMONS BLOOD, SWEAT AND BEER was the order of the day on Saturday 21st of May as the legendary University of Surrey Mountaineering Club took up an almighty challenge to collectively climb 26 miles in 12 hours, all for sweet charity. Thanks to monumental efforts from the 50 USMC climbers, the target was reached in under 8 hours Originally conceived as a seemingly impossible joke, the ‘Vertical Marathon’ came to fruition at Craggy Island indoor climbing centre, Guildford. Many thousands of man hours were dedicated to getting the event running, with the key organisers sacrificing sleep, meals and degrees to ensure its success. Organisers hope the event will raise £15,000 in sponsorship for their two elected charities, Mountain Rescue and Cardiac Risk in the Young (CRY). The event also serves as a massive boost to the RAG week total for money raised by university associated groups this year. The event was graced with Dignitaries, including the Mayor of Guildford, Councillor Angela Gunning and the MP for Guildford, Anne Milton. Anne Milton thanked the USMC for organising such a great event and commented it was a, “fantastic, innovative way of raising money for two deserving charities.” Councillor Angela Gunning added that it was lovely to see everyone getting so involved as she watched the climbers head towards their target. Special commendation must go to the marvellous folk from St Johns who were always ready to nurse the faint and feeble, the key organisers, Weeman, James “SideShow-Bob” Williamson and Dr Chenoweth, and also the ’One Mile Men’ - those fine gents who single handily climbed over a mile each during the day. To give you some perspective on quite what climbing this distance looks like, it is the equivalent of climbing well over four times the height of the empire state building. King Kong would be proud. These valiant men are: Nick “Nick” Warren; Jonathan “Danger” Chenoweth; Richard “Not for That” Price”; Alfie “ “ Simmons and Andre “Man of ” Steele. If you would like to show your support for the two brilliant charities as well as your friends and colleagues from the biggest club on campus, who shed so much sweat for their cause, then you can donate online on the website, www. or hunt down any member of the USMC and empty you pockets.

A Review Emerges

University of Surrey Sub-Aqua Club Annual Holiday Malta 2007
AFTER YEARS OF taking the long road north to Western Scotland for its annual holiday, the sub-aqua club decided that a change was due.After much deliberation the tiny Mediterranean Island of Malta was chosen. On the first Sunday of the Easter break and after much faffing with weight and baggage limits (over 1.4 ton’s between us!) the USSAC crew descended upon Gatwick Airport. Then in much comfort flew off for a week of nothing but diving, sunshine and dare I say it, drinking. On arrival we were met by a very paranoid accommodation owner who had agreed to put the 32 of us up for the week. He was only letting out 11 of his 15 rooms to a bunch of British students; I mean what is there to be paranoid about??! The next day the real fun was to begin with the start of the actual diving. We all piled into the Dive Centre’s trucks and Baywatch style Jeeps and headed to the northern tip of the island. Here we dived from a large tug boat named the Rozi

which is about 50m in length.At about 30m below the surface the visibility was supreme, much better then what we are used to in the UK.We all came out quite excited after a great dive and about the prospect of more of the same during the rest of the week. We returned to the accommodation that evening to be met by the owner. Who then accused us of taking 30 out of our 32 pillows, opening them up, removing some of the stuffing and then stitching them back up with our portable sewing machine. Yes we were gob smacked too! After much deliberation we finally persuaded him that it wasn’t us and agreed that Martians must have landed just too, ‘modify’ these 30 pillows. Tuesday saw a boat ride out to the tiny Island of Comino and dive within some spectacular caves. The very same that were used in the filming of the James Bond film Thunderball. On the Wednesday we all jumped on the ferry and headed to the island of Gozo to dive the infamous, ‘Blue Hole’. This unusual natural feature is just a giant hole full of water which at 20m below the surface has a tunnel leading out into the Mediterranean. Otherwise known as the inland sea this dive included some spectacular wild life including the ink spitting

Octopus and creepy Conga eels. Thursday took us to an old Oil Tanker named the, ‘Um El Faroud’. At about 150-200m long this wreck is humongous and really needs 10 or so dives to see it all in full! Imagine the whole of the AP building underwater and you will get a sense for the size of this ship. The final day’s diving took us to Popeye’s village. This 1970’s film set (from the film of the same name) turned theme park has some cracking caves below its fantasy looking foundations. Certainly a great dive to finish the week off (even if my torch did decide to blow up while in practically total darkness 15m down!!). The final weekend was spent soaking up the gorgeous weather and local amenities (aka the hundred’s of bars and pubs!). A great week was had by all, including the two organisers who managed to get a free bottle of wine each from the rather guilty feeling accommodation owner. See, us student’s aren’t that bad after all! The sub-aqua club run’s diving courses for all ability’s, and has a great social side too. To get involved and for more info including all the picture’s from the week go to



30 April - 25 May 2007


Surrey Equestrian Society
BY ALEX MORRISON CHAIRLADY THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY Equestrian Club is a very well established club that has been running for a number of years, with increasing numbers of members, and increasing levels of success. This year we fielded two teams to participate in the BUSA leagues and have hosted two interclub fun competitions, with gymkhana games catering for all abilities of recreational riders. We’re based at Old Park Stables just outside Farnham where they have a wide range of horses enabling everyone to join in. It is run by Carl Belson who rides competitively himself in both show jumping and eventing. The 2nd team for 2006/7 comprised of Fran Heskett, Jo Bass, Sara Goree and SandraTimmermanns, and they competed in the Trophy League which was a fantastic experience for all of them. They rode against other 2nd teams from Kent, Imperial and Royal Holloway which proved a tough draw with Kent going on to win at the BUSA National Championships last week. Three old hands and one new addition made up the 1st team for this year – Harry Talbot, Alex Morrison, Fiona Stevenson and Jen Raymond. Another difficult draw against through the stages. She reached the 3rd (out of 4) rounds in both the dressage and the show jumping resulting in 6th and 3rd placings and 2nd overall with both scores combined. To show how close it was, there were only 2 points separating her from the eventual winner. There were International selectors at the Nationals talent spotting competitors to be invited to GB Team trials. Alex was one of seven competitors at the Nationals to be invited to the next GB Trial to be held on the 11th May this year. As well as the serious side, there was a definite big social aspect to the Nationals. For starters, a Gala Ball is organised each year which the majority of GB riders attend. This year was brilliant fun, with Ben particularly enjoying the ride to and from the hotel in a red London bus! A quiz night was organised the following with 10 pints to the winning team. This happened to be Southampton who we are good friends with and therefore gained a share in the drink! It is definitely who you know! This culminates a successful year overall with the club still running lessons each week and their AGM on the 2nd May at 6pm. A repeat of the extremely popular “Pub Eventing” is also in the pipeline so watch this space…

Southampton (the National Champions from 2006), Kent and Brighton resulted in us finishing 3rd in the League. However Alex, the club chairlady, qualified for the Regionals individually and went on to qualify for the Nationals for the first time in her student riding career. These were held from 11th13th April at Arena UK in Grantham, Lincolnshire with 42 students all vying for the top accolade. The format for the finals differs from the league rounds in that it is a knockout competition with the best rider on each horse progressing


From London to Paris with Dave
would obviously be a lot of training to do, and the thought of trying to raise the required £1,000 sponsorship from my poor student colleagues was not an appealing one. However, the more I thought about it, the more compelled I became to do it. So I decided to bite the bullet and sign up, committing myself by paying the £99 registration fee. The charity concerned is Action Medical Research, and although I had never heard of them, I was quite surprised by their track record; the development of Britain’s first polio vaccine, pioneering hip replacement surgery, and the use of ultrasound were some of their major projects. Their current campaign, Touching Tiny Lives, highlights the urgent need for more research to help sick and vulnerable babies. Action Medical Research hopes to raise an additional £3 million over the next three years to help find answers to premature births, pre-eclampsia and other serious conditions which threaten babies and expectant mothers. The quest to save the tiny babies kicks off on 25th July.There will be about 500 people taking part in the challenge, split into three different routes. The route that I will be taking is almost 300 miles long. It starts at Kingston-uponThames, heads south through the Surrey and

“CAN I CYCLE from London to Paris for charity?” I asked myself when looking at a fundraising advert in The Times. It’s the sort of thing that I’d never do, but why not? There

Sussex countryside and continues across the South Downs to the port of Newhaven.After catching a ferry to Dieppe, we will head inland along the Saane Valley, crossing the river Seine to Lisieux. The final leg of the journey is the eastbound route through Vernon to Paris. The ride will last four days, covering an average of 70 miles per day. Adding to the challenge, will be my notorious red hair and pale skin, which under the unbearable July sun, will no doubt contribute to my suffering. To prepare myself for the big event, I have started a rigorous training programme to increase the number of miles that I cycle every day. I have also embarked on an intense sponsorship campaign, which involves a stint on BBC Southern Counties Radio Breakfast Show, an article in the Surrey Advertiser, and a group on Facebook, masterfully entitled Helping Dave Cycle from London to Paris. So if you can, please help save the tiny tots by sponsoring me online at Whatever you can or can’t afford is fine. What I find most unique about the Touching Tiny Lives campaign, is that one day this valuable research could improve the lives of you, your friends and your family. To find out more about Action Medical Research and their current projects, please visit:


30 April - 25 May 2007


Ultimate Frisbee
strength to strength both on and off the pitch. In October, two beginner’s teams travelled down to Southampton to take part in the fresher’s tournament ‘Skunks Mini’, both teams competed well but perhaps more importantly had a good time at the party drinking the cheap but deadly “Jesticle” cocktails. We fielded two teams for one of our most important tournaments; Indoor Regionals. The first team played like demons and came 6th qualifying for National Division 2. The 2nd team also competed well and won the Plate for their efforts. At Nationals the 1st team achieved their best result ever coming 7th. This meant that the Surrey Scorpions are now the 23rd best University team in the country which is massive achievement considering the team didn’t qualify last year. The year has seen the creation of the ‘Sirens’ women’s team who have been training every Sunday to take part in the South East Women’s Indoor Regionals. The tournament was a two


ULTIMATE REVIEW BY LOU THIS YEAR HAS been a delicious year for the Surrey Scorpions Ultimate Frisbee Club. The squad has gone from

day competition in Sussex. It saw the Siren ladies competing against experienced university teams and coming out of it looking hot! They held their seeding and grew as one big happy team that looks to only improve on this encouraging result. Mixed Indoor Regionals was a first for the Surrey Scorpions this year. The experience showed that the Scorpions have good potential for mixed teams in the future. The Scorpions travelled up to London in March to take part in Outdoor Regionals. The whole team played really hard, this was reflected in the result (7th) which was another Scorpion best. As the Scorpions are all about the socials its only fitting to mention some of the highlights, which include seeing Pretty Dick dressed as a windmill for pub golf, retrieving a wayward disc from Jewson’s, the massive Jesticle cocktails at Skunks and many, many drunken outings. Now that’s what I’m talking about!! Here’s to another great Ultimate year, hope to see some new faces come next year.

Surf ’s Up
A YEAR IN THE SURF CLUB BY ANDRE THIS YEAR, the Surf Club had an amazing comeback! After being on standby for 2 years the club is more active than it has ever been. So far we’ve undertaken 5 surf trips to Newquay, including participation in the BUSA Surfing Championships, with over 400 students from across the country competing. All the trips involve a nail biting 5 hour road trip (in the UniS minibus!) and some fantastic nights out in Newquay. We’ve found some amazing spots around Newquay and already got the knack for finding the best waves for the available conditions. A typical surf trip commences at 1pm (on a Friday) from Natwest bank on campus followed by a fun 5 hour trip to Newquay. On arrival, we park outside the “Home Surf Lodge” where we usually stay. We take our stuff to our rooms and head straight to Sailors or any pub that still serves food by the time we arrive. Once our bellies are full we stay out for drinks and go back to the lodge with the excitement of the next day’s surf ahead. 8am wake up call; not the friendliest hour to wake up, but a day’s surf certainly beats a day’s lectures so everyone makes it and goes for breakfast served at the lodge. Meanwhile someone (normally Stu, club president) will go out scouting the best place to surf for the day. Breakfast done, we walk to the “Sunset Surf Shop” to pick up any boards and wetsuits that we might need. When Stu’s back we head down to the day’s chosen beach where the day’s spent surfing with occasional breaks to chat, enjoy the sunshine and munch a few Cornish pasties. When everyone is knackered we go back to the lodge to get clean before heading out to the pub. Saturday night being the best night out we tend to party ‘til the wee hours’. Sunday sees a later wake up call of 10AM (alcohol permitting), where we then set off to another beach for morning/early afternoon surf. Surfing all done we head back to Sunset Surf to return boards and wetsuits, collect our bags from the lodge and pack up the minibus. Grab something to eat from town and head back to Guildford for a chilled 5 hour minibus trip. Though primarily a surf club, we have also been going wakeboarding! We’ve gone to Princes Lake in Ashford, Liquid Leisure in Datchett, and most recently JB Waterski (next to Thorpe Park) where for £5 (after the £10 membership) you get 2 hours on cable. With over 40 members from this year alone, I am sure you will hear a lot more from us! You don’t need to have a Surf Board... You don’t need to have a Wet Suit... You don’t need to have ever surfed before! Check our website at If you want to join the surf club, please email Anna at: me35as@surrey. and she will let you know when we are organizing new trips!! Or find us at the Fresher’s Fayre!



30 April - 25 May 2007


barefacts Sport - Bringing the Heat!
MATT CHEETHAM SPORTS EDITOR IT HAS BEEN the task of barefacts Sport to communicate to students the happenings of the Guildford Heat Basketball team this year. This has been the first few months of our connection, and what a season it has been for the Guildford Heat; BBL Championship winners, BBL Cup titles, and the team are currently progressing in the final Play Off games of the season. The coach, Paul James has been named coach of the year, and players Brian Dux, and Mike Martin have both made the All-Star Team of the Year. Overall there has been a huge amount of success for the Guildford Heat. Having been down to watch a few games I have to encourage students to experience this amazing atmosphere so near, yet so untouched by most of us. The home games are fantastic entertainment, especially the night matches. Around 1000 spectators regularly cheer the Heat on, coming to Surrey this is something students shouldn’t miss out on. Basketball was one of the few sports I was unfamiliar with before seeing the Heat, and I have now even been seen watching NBA games Sunday nights, after the days football. With the Heat’s season pretty much over, important Play Off games remain on at neutral venues. Next season begins when our new year begins, around September time. You can buy tickets and a free bus ride to the games from the Union shop, and throughout the year we will be running competitions giving out tshirts and tickets and having some interviews with the players in Barefacts. If you are reading this in September, get a group of mates, and go buy some tickets, you can always hang round the bar afterwards and have a few drinks with the players, it’s a guaranteed night to remember… For more information on the Guildford Heat, and also how to watch them in their last few games of this season, check out:

Celebrating in the changing rooms, coach and players Pictures taken from:

Congratulations to Warwick Hiley for his phrase, he collects an official Guildford Heat T -Shirt; Look out for more opportunities to win Guildford Heat Goodies next year.

Competition Winner!

Surrey Tae Kwon Do Club Review
What do we do in classes? This Year
IT HAS BEEN a great year for the Surrey Tae Kwon Do club, which has once again been taught by Master Nam, a 6th Dan Korean Master who has now been training for over 30 years and running the Surrey club for the past 9 years! At the end of the first semester many students took their grading and were promoted to a higher belt. The club members achieved 2 new yellow belts (Rob Wilkins and Martin Poskočil), 4 green belts (Charlie Connelly, Hannah Crosbie, Anne Vuorenpää and Ada Wong), a blue belt (Ani Alia), a new black belt (Club Organiser - Simon Phipps) and a 2nd Dan black belt (Talal Kursany). During the summer, the club plans to attend several competitions. The Club have also had many socials throughout the year, namely the annual Christmas meal at Old Orleans, celebrating members’ birthdays, informal drinks and many attended Fetish Night this semester. Classes incorporate a variety of activities, ranging from kick practice with targets and pads, light and one-step sparing, free sparing, step-work, self-defence and Poomse (Set Patterns). The classes last two hours and are generally quite physically strenuous.

Club News
Unfortunately for the club, many current members are graduating this year and therefore will not be returning to the club, so we are encouraging more beginners to come along and give it a go, or even if you have trained in other martial arts; come and expand your knowledge and skills! Hopefully by next semester we will have a larger room to practice in too! Good luck to all those who are grading in May and a sad goodbye to those who will not be returning to join us.

When do we train?
We train regularly 3 times a week in the taproom and dance studio at the Sports Centre (Monday 8pm-10pm,Wednesday 6pm-8pm and Friday afternoons). Master Nam takes the main classes and members organise informal sessions on Fridays, where the black belts teach and let people try some things that are a bit more challenging for them (and to push their training a bit harder!). Training with different instructors gives a greater range of class style, thus allowing members to benefit from a large knowledge and skill base.

Captain Mike Martin recieves yet another trophy after a fantastic season for the Heat!


30 April - 25 May 2007



Football Talk
Taylor, Barry and Arteta, bar Hahnemann, hardly any international caps between them. Check it out, type in Actim Stats into a search engine. It is interesting viewing seeing how low down some supposed top players are on the lists; they look good, but don’t produce what counts; goals, assists, blocks, clearances.


COMING TO THE END end of another year at Surrey, and certainly a cracking finish is in order in this year’s football; nothing is for certain. One of the greatest league seasons ever? I’m writing this with five games left. Title, Manchester United or Chelsea? Will it be third or fourth for Arsenal and Liverpool? A UEFA Cup spot is still anyone’s, even Blackburn in the lower half of the table reckon they have a shout. Then relegation is hardly decided as well. My prediction in January was bold, Watford, Charlton and Sheffield United, I had faith in the Hammers, but increasingly it is looking like it was false hope, we shall have to wait and see. Last season by this stage the title was sorted, as was most of the rest of the table. There was a battle for fourth and fifth between Tottenham and Arsenal, and relegation was still interesting around this stage, but Pompey secured safety with a couple of games left. Certainly this season has been top quality, full of excitement, I haven’t even mentioned the Champion’s League etc...

Age of the Team Game?
Recently, when sitting down watching the F.A. Cup semi-finals with a mate, we attempted to pick a current world XI. After naming the obvious stand outs of the season; Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo, Chelsea’s Didier Drogba, and A.C. Milan’s Kaka, (interestingly three players from the Champions League semi-finals) we struggled to fill the rest of the positions. After much debate, we eventually came to the conclusion that we are in an era of the team game. The time of the individual has gone, ever deeper tactics and team play are crucial. Taking any players out of the Spanish league for our XI was especially difficult. The top teams have hardly been consistent, in Europe as well as on the domestic front. Many have questioned Ronaldinho and Messi’s form at Barcelona (despite Messi’s recent wonder goal - you have to see it) and have also described other high priced players such as Deco and Eto’o as sometimes world-beaters, but frustratingly inconsistent. Another under-achieving season for Real Madrid has also seen many of their top players such as Robinho and Cannavaro questioned over form. Their era of the Galactico has died. Who are the top players at the moment? Who will the big clubs try and buy (will have bought) this summer? In recent years there would be endless lists of world class players, many countries having three or four stand out players. Now players such as Torres and Villa are mentioned, but they aren’t even proven in Europe or at International level, and the players that are, are pretty much all (bar the three mentioned) not in consistent form; Henry, Ronaldinho, Lampard, Shevchenko, Eto’o, Messi, Ballack, Adriano and even Rooney have not produced consistently this season. I believe in some cases these players have just not been on form, but for some it is because the impact of individuals is waning. These players are now involved far more in team play, tactics, running off the ball, passing, taking up positions to stretch play, not just scoring and grabbing all the headlines. A problem England currently have is the fact that the team is not a team, merely a collection of individuals. The time between squad meet-ups means a team bond is hard to maintain, and it is debateable whether McLaren actually has the tactics needed in the international arena. If you compare that to Chelsea, they are on the extreme edge of this argument. Their team is purely made out of individual match-winners, and this season they have managed a lot of late victories as one of these players have stepped up at the last minute. Not always fun to watch. However there is a huge team bond at Chelsea, John Terry motivates and brings the group together, and in Jose Mourinho, they have one of the alleged top tacticians in the game. England cannot compete, and cannot attain a mere portion of the success Chelsea have unless the best team is picked, one that gels.

Well since the last edition where AFC Wimbledon’s predicament was highlighted, the Dons have now thankfully had their eighteen point ban reduced to three, apparently the Dons took one of the biggest petitions ever to Parliament, well done F.A.!! I have had some emails emphasising the job Roy Keane has done with Sunderland, and how great it will be to see him in the Premiership, and some mixed ideas about goal-line technology. I still remain adamant we should not use it, leave the beautiful game alone, some people agreed, but there are still many that want the game moved forward, those people indicate that it is a success in rugby and cricket. I see this debate carrying on next year.

I want to thank everyone that has kept this column interactive. I recieve many emails each fortnight with new ideas and points of view, and there have been many great thoughts and theories posted from different students. I hope to stay on as Sports Editor next year, and carry on my sports show with Barny Leavers on GU2, if you’re reading this in the new semester, get some emails and ideas coming in for a new edition that will surely be out soon, shall sign out with a few final thoughts this year…

Team of the Year,Taylor, Arteta?
Following the (joke) PFA Team of the Year just recently announced, here, according to official stats, is the ACTUAL team of the year: Hahnemann (Reading),Finnan (Liverpool),Taylor (Portsmouth), Carvalho (Chelsea), Ferdinand (Manchester Utd), Barry (Aston Villa), Lampard (Chelsea), Arteta (Everton), Ronaldo (Manchester Utd), Rooney (Manchester Utd), Drogba (Chelsea), subs would be; James (Portsmouth), Lescott (Everton), Fabregas (Arsenal), Johnson (Everton), Berbatov (Tottenham)… The PFA team of the year has just been announced and predictably most of these players were nt be mentioned. Yes the game is not all about stats, but some of these players certainly need more recognition, especially Hahnemann,

Teams with so many new players struggle initially because team play is so important now; Liverpool took time to adjust early season with more purchases bought last summer. Vidic and Evra looked dodgy buys when they were bought in January for Manchester United, but what an impact they have had this season, once they acclimatised to Ferguson’s tactics, and Manchester United’s team play. This is possibly the case in world team sport as well now. After Australia’s cricket team were beaten by England in the 2005 Ashes series the supposed XI best cricketers in the world were sent to Australia for a conquest that saw these visitors ranked as huge favourites to crush the Aussies. However they were annihilated by the superior Australian team effort. Similarly in rugby, the Welsh side in the 2007 Six Nations finished bottom, yet with undoubtedly more stand out individuals much superior to Scotland and Italy. The Scots and especially Italians were more together, tightly bonded, and their team play saw them victorious. Back to football, interestingly enough, not many Italian players - World Cup winners - would make our World XI, again suggesting the team effort of the Italians surpassed those teams with the individuals in this World Cup. The match-fixing scandals brought the team together. Teams have to begin to develop tactics and team play, for it seems individual brilliance and match winners are less important, for now. Anyway, send me some emails of your opinions next year at Uni, and here’s that World XI we came up with, what do you think? Who would you choose?

World XI?
Buffon /Casillas - Zambrotta Terry Lucio (couldn’t single out another fullback) – Kaka Essien Gerrard Ronaldo – Drogba (again, unsure of a striker). Kanoute leads the Spanish charts, but surely not, Villa and Torres are not tested on the world stage, Italians have great defenders but are weak on strikers at the minute, choice is yours…Emile Heskey anyone? Fancy getting involved in the Sports section next year?



30 April - 25 May 2007


Blood, Sweat and Beers, Rugby 06/07 Review

Men’s 1st team. South Eastern Conference - Men’s 2A
HAVING BEEN PROMOMTED two seasons in a row after two former successful promotional campaigns, it was known well in advance that this season would be a test of our skill and dedication to the cause. The season started with a win against St Georges, a team that two years ago was the only team we were incapable of beating, but, I’m sad to say, the trend didn’t continue for the remainder of the league fixtures. By the end of the season we finished with 4 wins, 9 losses and 1 draw, but survived the league for another crack at it next season. Three games were lost involving score lines with differences of no greater than 7 points, had these games turned to our advantage it would have made a dramatic change to our position in the table. In other areas of the sport, we took part in a 10s tournament and so far one 7s tournament, both of which we finished runners up. The season was rounded off with the Old Boys game, played in torrential rain in a mud bath up at Stoke Park and, I’m very proud to say, that the students kept their winning streak going to get their third win in three years and keep the much coveted trophy

included bringing Portsmouth (who had beaten their last three oppositions by 60 points plus) to their knees before injury reduced us to just 13 men, as well as the last game of the season where we played eventual champions Royal Holloway in a game played with as much passion as I have seen from 15 guys representing our university in four years. Of the guys who started the season as ‘2s’ players, quite a few of them have moved up to play 1st XV rugby on merit and this shows the quality of the 2nd XV. So bring on the next season, I know the team will continue to play with guts, passion and determination.

Women’s team

Surrey take down another one... don’t mess!! Picture courtesy of Naveed Barakzai/Maxal Photography from 50 other universities. It was the perfect combination of rugby, consumption and sun, ish, where ‘the beatings continued until morale improved’; so much so that there was no morals left. The tour brought together all Surrey rugby teams where our party of 30 made more of an impact in the Costa Brava than some Universities with over 100 tour goers. This will greatly enhance the weekly socials that take place every Wednesday night after the games. The year also saw a big change in the organisational structure of the team with the men’s and women’s teams joining together to ensure both survived the new rules regarding twenty members on a team. This resulted in one joint committee and three individual teams. Playing for Surrey University has a lot to do with heart and how much effort the team puts in. Our new head coach, Mike Andress, who joined us late on in the season, and women’s coach Tim Eaton are very impressed by both the efforts in training and how hard and committed we like to play (both in rugby and socials). Wednesday afternoons, as anyone who has donned the yellow and blue jerseys will tell you, just wouldn’t be the same without the rugby, the socials and the people. Also check out our website;

Men’s 2nd team South Eastern Conference - Men’s 4A
It has been a season of crunching hits, strong forward’s play and agonizing last minute defeats. However, every man who has represented the 2nd XV this year did it for the love of the game and I need to thank every one of you who willingly pulled on the jersey for the cause. In truth, the season could have been better results wise but there were still some massive performances from the team. Notable highlights

If you had asked anyone back in September or October how many players the University of Surrey women’s rugby team had they would have probably said about 10, even if they were from the men’s team!! The truth is that this year the team has had a whopping 17 players. This may not sound like much if you come from a big club like football, but as the average size of the ladies rugby team at Surrey has been about 12 or 13 for the past four years I have studied here, this number is amazing!! Unfortunately, however, unlike in past years when we have had to cancel many offered matches due to lack of numbers, this year with a full team ready and raring to go we were only able to find one game to play. This game saw 12 of us including Egghead with a broken collarbone, journey on down to Portsmouth to play their second team. The game unfortunately saw us concede 27 points to our 21 scored but it was a moral victory as we had managed to get a team out and played with both spirit and skill. Next year though due to the influx of players we will have regular weekly games. Finally, as Easter drew round, a rugby season wouldn’t be complete without a tour.This season 21 guys and 9 girls were off to Calella in Spain; along with about 2500 other students

Angelic Cheering
The Angels are currently training hard for this year’s Championships, where they gained first place in the University Co-ed division they have continued to build on their victory. Nationals in Brighton and have a stunt group competing During this years Fresher’s fare the Angels recruited many on 7th April at the University competition. They hope to new members (as we hope to do so at the next fare) and continue their success and work hard to maintain their have been training them to compete at competitions ever National Champion status!!! since. They now have a squad of 25+. Since September the dance squad have entered two competitions bringing back third and fourth place trophies. They are also entering a dance into this year’s National Championships. The stunt group has placed fifth at a recent regional competition. Furthermore, the Angels entered their first ever partner student pair to a competition and placed eighth! They have also been fundraising hard to Once you’re done reading this issue of barefacts, please recycle it. raise money for the new member’s uniforms You can use the recyling bins in your halls, or the and entry fees for competitions. They have ones located in most departments.Thank you! so far done a fundraising car wash, bake sale, brownie nights and TV commercials with many more to come!

A polite notice

Cheerleading REVIEW of the year!!
BY AMY REEVE IT HAS BEEN another fantastic year for the Surrey Angels cheerleaders! After their success in July 2006 at the National

barefacts. be heard.