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st Your Po Plan l m Socia Exa Life ! Issue 1121 Wednesday 14th May Issue 1121 Tuesday 12th May
14th May 2008

News In Brief
Major boost for Physics in the South East

editorial team 1121


A consortium of six universities led by the University of Surrey has won a £12.5m grant from the Higher Education Funding Council for England (HEFCE), to promote the sustained excellence of physics in the South East. The South East Physics Network (SEPNET) will have a collaborative Graduate School providing advanced research training for PhD students across the region, and will offer innovative MSc programmes.
Drink-driver crashed into wall










An ex-University of Surrey student, who crashed into a wall at the campus after a nine-hour drinking binge, has been banned from driving for 20 months. Martin Pulman, who was studying chemical engineering, left in February earlier this year.






barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union Communications Office.

Average weekly student rent ‘up 17% in four years’

It is generally more expensive to rent student accommodation in the south of the country. Surrey, Middlesex, Cambridge, Exeter, Oxford and Brighton are all 20% or more costly than the UK norm.
Skills training is gaining round

The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher beforehand. Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1QA Submission is no guarantee of publication. barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. Please direct all equiries to the relevant section Editor. WWW.USSU.CO.UK/BAREFACTS © USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2008

The University of Surrey is praised in a report for a ‘well-planned, resourced and supported placement system which adds significantly to the student experience’.
Shakespeare comes to Surrey Lake

Guildford’s award-winning professional open-air theatre company, Guildford Shakespeare Company, is returning for their third season, performing at the University of Surrey. The university lake will form a stunning backdrop of water, willows and waddling ducks as the Forest of Arden for Shakespeare’s classic tale of following your heart’s desire: As You Like It. Running from July 17 to 26, this gloriously sunny comedy is the perfect accompaniment to a summer evening, where “All the world’s a stage…”.
An egg a day does help you to work, rest and play

By Ben Miller

Land of the rising Surrey
The University of Surrey is ranked 30th overall in the 2009 Good University Guide. This is up from 35th last year. The University of Surrey was rated: first in the country for the study of food science, third for nursing and sociology, fourth for drama, dance and cinematics, fifth for other subjects allied to medicine, sixth for biological sciences, seventh for computer science, eighth for mathematics, ninth for electrical and electronic engineering and tenth for Russian

In a study to be published in the European Journal of Nutrition, Dr Bruce Griffin of the Centre for Nutrition and Food Safety at the University of Surrey found eggs ‘have no clinically significant impact on heart disease or cholesterol levels. Dr Bruce Griffin said that eggs are incredibly nutritious and should not be excluded from any diet.

and East European Languages. The University of Surrey is ranked 23rd overall in the 2009 Guardian University Guide. This is up from 25th last year. In the Guardian guide Surrey was rated: second in the country for the study of tourism, transport and travel, fifth in sociology, sixth in biosciences and seventh in media and communication studies.
14th May 2008

Miss Editor speaks for the last time ... or does she?



Well, the last barefacts is finally here, at least for this academic year! It’s been a time of change. barefacts, of course, saw a makeover back in October under the then Editor Gareth Giles. Then the lovely deputy (maybe I’m biased) took over as Editor in January! It’s been an eventful year all round here at Surrey, and I know I speak for the team when I say we’ve had a great time reporting it all to you. I myself have had one of the best, if not the best, times of my Uni life at Surrey being Editor this year. I myself have finished my Degree here! Well, one of them anyway, am i mad staying to do an MA??. So I am using this powerful tool that is the print media (sorry to go all Rupert Murdoch on you) to say that I have had a wonderful time here at Surrey. I would like to say a MASSIVE thank you to all the barefacts team past and present! Gareth, Ben, Emma, Colin, Simon, Verity, Alex, Amul, David, Matt, Tony and Megladon Jake. I have had a fabulous time working with you all, and without you I don’t think I’d still have all my hair. I’d more likely be wrapped in a straight-jacket (many people would argue that I should be anyway). However, I’d also like to wish everyone the best of luck in whatever they do. Surrey has proven to be an experience of a lifetime and I hope that everyone who graduates this year feels the same. I urge everyone who is not sadly leaving in a month to consider joining barefacts in September. It is an amazing opportunity, as well as looking great on your C.V. So if you want to be a journalist, or maybe just an agony aunt, then please, please, please join the wonderful insituition which is barefacts! From myself and all the team at barefacts, farewell loyal readers and have fun celebrating the end of another successful academic year!

Claire x

University date change controversy
different shows addressing the issues students have raised. An interview by Jack Colby, Warren Scotford Smith and Missy Edwards with Harry Holkham, also of the Facebook group, is to be presented to the Vice-Chancellor to ask if he would like to publicise the changes and answer questions on the station. Some University staff were also unhappy with the communication of the new plans. One source, who did not wish to be named, told barefacts that hardly any of the staff he had talked to had known about the changes before the Facebook group was set up. The Union released a statement on Thursday evening to explain its position on the issue and the consultation process it had performed. The statement also contained a comment by the Deputy Vice-Chancellor stating the university’s “regret” about the announcement being made to new applicants before students and staff, and promising more details about the plans in a University statement next week.

By Gareth Giles The University’s controversial plans to change the academic year were being scrutinised heavily this week. With debate raging on the internet, GU2 and around campus about the communication process, many students were complaining about the lack of consultation by both the Union and University. The plans themselves were printed in the new prospectus for applicants this year, and are now available on the University website. As of 2009, current students will begin on October 12th, with new students starting at the beginning of the month. Christmas exams will be after the holiday. However, current students complain that not only were they not informed that this change was in place, they were poorly informed that a consultation was in process. The Facebook group “Save Our Academic Year!” has attracted over 1,500 students, and made headlines in the Guildford Times and on the Surrey Advertiser website, while a petition created by the group to ask the University to communicate better had attracted 477 signatures when barefacts went to press. While many students in the group seem to be resigned to the changes, others are hopeful that the University’s decision can be reversed. “The semester changes aren’t technically set in stone yet,” said Jack Colby, writing on the wall of the Facebook group, “I think that we should protest”. GU2 has also been discussing the change this week, with several segments in

We reached our target of 80% for the National Student Survey, Confirming Scouting for Girls at the Grad Ball! Feedback is a vital part of student life and the completion of the NSS shows that everyone wants to make the Surrey experience even better then it is now!


By Ben Miller

Surrey’s super satellite sale


14th May 2008

EADS Astrium, Europe’s leading space company, has entered into an agreement to acquire the innovative University of Surrey spin-out company Surrey Satellite Technology Ltd (SSTL), which specialises in the design and manufacture of small and micro satellites. This landmark deal provides the financial and industrial resources required for SSTL’s expansion and future development. The University of Surrey has sold almost all of its 85% stake in its campusbased satellite firm. It is believed EADS Astrium has paid between £40 million and £50 million for SSTL in what is thought to be the largest cash sale of a university company in UK history. The University of Surrey will have a new strategic academic alliance with Astrium that keeps it tied to SSTL; it will maintain a “token” 1% stake in the company. Final negotiations for the deal which will bring the rapidly growing University of Surrey spin-out under the control of the multi-billion pound global space company are ongoing. barefacts has been following SSTL’s work and achievements throughout the year and this deal seals off a fantastic year for the company and the university. SSTL started as a spin-out from the University of Surrey in 1985 to become the world’s leading manufacturer of small satellites, producing low-cost platforms for Earth observation missions. It also built Giove-A, the first test satellite for Europe’s forthcoming Galileo satellite-navigation service. “SSTL operates in a highly competitive global market,” said Sir Martin. “If we are to continue changing the economics of space and provide the innovative solutions our customers demand we must expand and maintain our R&D investment. This acquisition strengthens SSTL enormously whilst preserving our unique approach to space.” Astrium is one of the world’s leaders for its expertise in space transportation, spacecraft and satellite services. It had a turnover of €3.55 billion and 12,000 employees in France, Germany, the UK, Spain and the Netherlands. Professor Sir Martin Sweeting, Executive Chairman of SSTL, has been an active ambassador for the UK space industry for many years and considers the acquisition essential: “SSTL operates in a highly competitive global market. If we are to continue changing the economics of space and provide the innovative solutions our customers demand we must expand and maintain our R&D investment. This acquisition strengthens SSTL enormously whilst preserving our unique approach to space.” Professor Christopher Snowden, Vice-Chancellor of the University of Surrey commented: “This is a great move for both the University and SSTL. On completion, this will represent one of the largest cash spin-outs from any UK university. It will also allow the Company to realise its full potential as a rapidly growing and leading supplier of small and micro satellites, whilst the University retains the benefit of close interaction with SSTL and its new partner EADS Astrium. By retaining a small stake in SSTL the University shows its commitment to both the future of the Company and space research itself.”

The agreement sees long-term research collaboration between the University of Surrey and EADS Astrium and will further advance the University’s cutting edge space research capacity. The collaboration will also allow Astrium to benefit from staff training and development opportunities afforded by the links with the University. The sale will support the already-strong presence that Guildford and the south-east have in the aeronautical and space industries, creating a centre of expertise for space technology. This will allow for the region to benefit from the Government’s commitment to invest in the UK space industry. SSTL has been involved in several widely publicised space missions in the last few years. It has sent into orbit disaster monitoring satellites to help co-ordinate response to natural tragedies. Giove A, the first satellite to go into space as part of the European sat-nav project, was also built by scientists at Stag Hill. And there are also plans to set up a lunar telecommunications network to help aid future missions and colonisation on the moon. “SSTL is one of the great success stories of the UK space industry and will be a substantial complement to what we can offer customers around the world,” said Colin Paynter, CEO of Astrium in the UK. Professor Sir Martin Sweeting, said: “Within the UK, we can have a co-ordinated approach to space, covering both large satellites and small satellites. This makes us a key international player.” He said projects such as Moonlite, a proposed UK-led mission to the Moon, would benefit from the alliance. “Together we will be able to make Moonlite more of a reality,” he said. Professor Christopher Snowden, Vice-Chancellor of the University of Surrey, said the link between SSTL and EADS Astrium is an exciting opportunity. He said: “It brings together the strongest offerings in the European space industry with some of the strongest technologies from research, with the government interest to make it happen.”

SSTL will remain an independent UK company with its individual brand and unique approach to space following the agreement, whilst benefiting from access to the resources of a large corporation including design, manufacturing and test facilities. Astrium will benefit from enhanced links with the University of Surrey to support staff training and development, also leading to greater cooperation and increased research on space technology and systems.

barefacts needs a new News Editor , so If you fancy a bit of news reporting then look out for the barefacts AGM dates in September
14th May 2008

Surrey dropouts doing better than expected


By Ben Miller In the last edition of barefacts (March 3), in the article “Surrey dropout rate hits 19%”, the statistics were based on the Public Accounts Committee report from Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA). The measure they used is the ‘percentage projected to obtain a degree’ - for Surrey this is 81% giving an inferred drop-out of 19%. Further examination of the figures show this gives a very harsh definition of drop-out as it includes Other Awards (2.6%) and Transfers (5.8%), whereas most people use the remaining category ‘Neither award nor transfer’ - which is 10.5% for Surrey. The figure includes people who have transferred to other universities and people such as nurses who are doing

diplomas rather than degrees. The actual non-completion figure is 10.5% against an expectation from HESA that the figure should be 13.1% - so Surrey is doing better than expected.

By Gareth Giles

Opposing Identity card motion gets casting vote


A motion which, if passed, would make it local policy to oppose plans to force

Join a debate to win an Apple
to forums and blogs in 2008, so there are a lot of comments to wade through. Which is, as Crane says, the problem “All these opinions are scattered around the internet and it can be difficult and time-consuming to find out what other people think. Our aim is to make it much easier for people to compare opinions and make wise decisions.” To overcome contribution shyness Debatewise have launched a competition whereby the creators of new debates can win various Apple goodies such as a MacBook Air, iPhone, iPod or iPod Touch. There is even a Zen-like prize for the person who contributes most to other debates. Debates can be on any subject under the sun, be they serious or light-hearted and about domestic or global issues. Entering is simple and information on what’s required and what can be won can be found at competition. Competition judges include Samir Deger-Sen, the 2008 World Debating Champion and John Leader-Maynard, Chair of the English National Universities Debate Council, who said: “By harnessing the power of the internet, Debatewise acts as a forum for bringing people together around the issues that matter.”

Much as Wikipedia is a great source of information, its insistence on sitting on the fence and remaining neutral is deeply unsatisfying for the huge numbers of people who want to express and read opinions. People want to know what proponents of gun control think or what Muslims say in response to criticism of calls for Sharia law, what the advantages of fluoride in the water supply are and the disadvantages of buying bottled water. People want to know the arguments against ID Cards and the arguments for releasing details of MPs expenses, which is where Debatewise comes in. David Crane, founder and CEO of Debatewise says: “We don’t really surf the internet anymore. We use it for a specific purpose: to answer a question, make sense of our options, to find out what other people think. When we do so we are mistrustful of neutrality. In these instances we want two passionate, eloquent, informed and opposite points of view listed side-by-side. We can then compare both and make up our mind, safe in the knowledge we have the best information to hand”. The idea that people spend most of their time online on a quest to make sense is supported by research from Pew Internet and marketing guru Seth Godin. Forrester Research estimate there will be about eight million posts each day

students to register and pay for the ID card scheme in order to be able to apply for their student loan, scraped through the Community & Health scrutiny committee last week on a casting vote. The motion was introduced by Onslow Borough Councillor, Chris Ward - who was made an Honourary Member of the Surrey Students’ Union recently due to his service to local students. However, Cllr Ward declared himself “surprised and disappointed” at the opposition from local Conservative councillors to the motion, which seemed to fly in the face of the national Party’s policy to scrap the identity card scheme – a policy advertised in local Conservative campaign literature. Cllr Ward further told barefacts of his hope that the Conservative faction of the council would vote in favour of the motion in executive and full council. He said “We can achieve great things when we put party differences aside and support a motion that will protect our residents from an intrusive and dangerous scheme. There

is no logical reason for the Conservatives to contradict their national policy locally, so I am hopeful that when the executive discusses this again they will support my motion for the benefit of Surrey students who rely financially on student loans, and other residents who rely very much on local council services”. The identity card scheme has become a hotly debated topic around the country recently, with the government announcing the continuance of the move towards cards for every individual, even after the embarrassing cases of data loss by different government departments. The issue is especially of importance for students, with the government attempting to make it compulsory to have an ID card to apply for a student loan. Cllr Ward, who is also a software developer in Guildford, has experience on the subject of identity cards, and opposes the cards on both invasion of privacy and practical grounds. The final vote in the committee was six Liberal Democrat councillors voting for the motion, with six Conservatives opposing. Three other Conservatives abstained. The motion will proceed through to be considered by the council executive, which is made up entirely of Conservative councillors. If passed by the executive, the motion will return to the full council chamber for a final debate and vote.

barefacts needs a whole new team! So if you fancy , either reporting breaking news, demonstrating your knowlegde of random facts or creating tantalising recipes. Then look out for the AGM dates at the beginning of next semester !
14th May 2008

Calling all Final Year Undergrads…
I know it is not customary for this page to address the undergrads, but if you are coming to the end of your Bachelors degree, then I am talking to you - yes you! I was once in your position. Yes, once upon a time I was a little undergrad and now I’m a little postgrad, so what can I tell you? Well, I hope to give you some information regarding why you should do a Masters. Why? The obvious answer is to improve your prospects in an increasingly competitive job market. A Masters degree would allow you to foster the skills that you have obtained during your undergraduate studies and perhaps develop new ones that would look impressive on your C.V There are taught courses but do not forget the research courses on offer which would prepare those students, in subjects such as the sciences, that may be required to do research in the course of their career. Then there is the fact that being a student is fun – so why stop? Some people go straight on to do a Masters after graduation, some of us take some time before coming to it. It may seem strange to be a student when you are older but that still does not stop you having fun whilst developing your experience and broadening your horizons. Carine Boutinard, a French MA translation student, says: “My opinion? Tough to go back to a campus at thirtyish... Never been living so close from a library. Great floormates! Unforgettable experience!” Vandana Pankhania , MA Translation student , says “This year has been an enjoyable nightmare! There is no way of being prepared for the sheer amount of work that is piled on us, as well as the fact that we have to make new friends and the environment is a new one for most MA students (I got lucky in that respect, as I did my Bachelor degree here too). But even with all the work and the moaning about work,it has been a fantastic year in many respects: my friend circle has expanded, which has led to a number of unforgettable (or should that be un-rememberable??) nights! I am more aware of the options that are open to me in future and also what my personal capabilities are, at least regarding translation as a profession. After having spent four years at UniS already, this final MA year has been the cherry on the cake - I don’t regret it one bit!” Don’t forget that UniS has a large Postgrad population who can’t all be wrong! So for more information regarding postgraduate study here at UniS then log on to: Alex Illsley

Could you edit this page? Better than me? Bet you could… We need a new PG Tips Editor!
The academic year is coming to an end, ready to start again in September, and so it is all change here at barefacts. As part of this we are looking for a new PG Tips editor. Could you be PG editor? You will have to be a Postgrad in September (it helps, as this page is normally for postgrads). It also helps if you are good with deadlines. What does being PG Tips editor involve? You will be responsible for the content of this page, gathering it (probably writing some of it) and submitting it to the barefacts editor. This part is the challenge (but not that insurmountable) and you will meet and work with a variety of people through attending weekly meetings - and the odd social.  As PG Tips editor you will be a member of the Postgraduate Association (PGA) Committee – again you will meet and work with more people, again through attending weekly meetings and the odd social. Every UniS Postgrad is automatically a member of the PGA and the committee ensures that they are represented. You will also engage with the experience of being a Postgrad – see what matters to the Postgrads of UniS and ensure that their voice is heard. So if you are friendly, sociable, love communicating, are good with time management and are a Postgrad who cares, then this is a job for you! You will get great experience - not forgetting that it is experience you can put on your C.V. So what are you waiting for? If you are interested e mail on Al
14th May 2008

By Lea Carrott

Should I know that the semester dates are changing?



About two weeks ago I stumbled across the “updated” semester dates for the year 2009/2010. I was actually looking for a disabled access map in the undergraduate section of the university’s website but a slip of the finger led me astray. I was quite surprised to find that as a returning student in that academic year, I would be starting on the 12th of October as opposed to the first week of September which is what we have now become accustomed to. Whilst I appreciate that this brings us into line with the academic dates of most other universities nationwide, (not including London City UK or Worcester that use the same semester structure that Surrey currently operates) I can’t personally see the benefit of moving to this semester system. It also concerns me that I haven’t found one person yet that has actually been informed of this change. I only found out by accident and there is nothing published in the current students section of the Surrey website, despite the fact that it has been published in the 2009/2010 prospectus that my sister received at a higher education fair! I’m also an avid reader of barefacts, the President’s blog on and like everyone else, Grapevine. Yet I can only recall one mention of this change on the president’s blog and this didn’t confirm that the change was being made, just that a meeting with the 2009 changes committee had occurred. At the last student assembly there was vote that took place based upon this issue. My friend Harry attended and remembers that of the 36 people that were present two abstained from voting, 2 postgraduates voted in favour of the change and 32 people voted against the motion. The overall poll result is that 89% of voters were against the change. He also emailed the pro-vice chancellor and was informed that student opinion would be listened to and taken into account. Alex Collins, the Student Union President, emailed all current students a survey based upon the changing of semester dates in the November of last year. Despite contacting Alex,

I currently have not been able to obtain the results of the survey (The Union released a statement today containing these results. They should be available on the USSU website soon. - Ed). Having spoken to friends and course mates who returned their views to him, I have not currently found anyone in favour of this change. There are many benefits of the current semester system. For example, by starting the first semester earlier, those of us on “short, fat modules” (six modules in the first semester, six modules in the second) can actually relax slightly over the Christmas holidays as we have taken the exams and finished the modules. This is currently the only thing that stops myself and a lot of my friends from burning out! Changing this will mean there will barely be time to breathe (a week) between finishing the first set of exams and the second semester commencing. Also as Surrey students we are free a lot earlier in the summer, due to the early finish of the spring semester. In my experience this was beneficial to finding a summer job as I was available to work earlier. Getting a summer job can be a crucial factor in whether you have to work alongside studying in the semester time. Finding time to work and juggling studies during the semester may lead to lower course marks overall, although obviously some people find this balance much easier to maintain. I accept that the university probably has valid reasons for why they want to change the semester dates. However the fact that student opinion hasn’t been considered is very disappointing. Also the university has not presented any reasons for changes as yet to the student body as a whole or officially informed us in any way, which is not just unfair but completely unacceptable For more information on the new dates please visit

Megan Estorninho, Environment Officer We ranked 27th in the Green League Tables for Environmental Performance in 2007, ( alongside the Universities of Coventry, Oxford, Kingston, Warwick, Brunel and The Institute of Swansea. Surrey has also recently been awarded Fairtrade status giving us further confidence in scoring even higher in the Green League for 2008. We performed less well in the Sound Impact Awards, a unique accreditation scheme designed to encourage and reward good ethical and environmental practice specifically designed for Students’ Unions and managed by the National Union of Students Services Ltd (NUSSL) ( and launched by the Environmental Association for Universities and Colleges (EAUC). In 2006 the USSU was awarded a ‘working towards’ achievement in the Sound Impact Awards. We’re aiming to do better in 2008! Working towards these accreditations provides us with an independent measure of our current performance and enables us to see how we can move forward in improving the University’s environmental strategy. Both the Green League Tables and the Sound Impact Awards assess several criteria based on environmental best practice such as promoting ‘green’ travel, energy saving practices and waste minimisation to name just a few. In the area of waste minimisation Surrey is doing rather well but there is room for improvement. Members of the University of Surrey Green Group were invited to take a tour of the Chambers Recycling Centre in Guildford where Chambers Waste Management Plc ( collect, sort, recycle and dispose of University of Surrey waste. Chambers mechanically sorts the waste through the Materials Recycling Facility based on size. Small particles are sieved out and largematerials suitable for recycling are manually sorted by staff from a conveyor. The building sector accounts for over half of the waste produced compared to household and municipal waste. At Chambers soil is recycled for landscaping, metals are sent to scrap processors, paper and card is baled and sent to a paper mill, wood is chipped and sent to a power station for fuel, hardcore is crushed and sold as recycled aggregate. In the final quarter of 2007 Chambers recycled 22,145 tonnes of waste and sent 12,905 tonnes to landfill. The University of Surrey recycled a whopping 350 tonnes of waste in 2007 which accounted for over 30% of all waste produced. A very good result indeed

We are aiming for an integrated approach to increase awareness across the University with collaborative efforts between student residences, Estates and Facilities, University Waste Management Team, student led organisations such as People and Planet (http://surreypandp. and the newly formed University of Surrey Green Group (http://www.ussu. Together we can achieve significant reductions in energy consumption and continue reducing the amount of waste going to landfill. 8 COMMERCIAL BREAK & COLUMNS
14th May 2008

Question: Can an average student make contact with a world leader in one Easter holiday? + Lent review

Andy Vale’s Boredom Battling Challenge
“Hello!, I can confirm that in my position as HRH King Danny I of the Kingdom of Lovely, I am officially responding to you - a lowly and quite heights of communicating with a world leader... in this case while probably grubby student - in order to prove that you - a lowly and quite probably grubby student - can indeed scale the magnificent he eats toast in bed while The Wright Stuff’s on. Well done! D” Here is a shining example of online one-to-one communication with a world leader. Purely for that I feel better than all of you put together, you scum. As for lent, I decided part way through that because the new Channies menu has only one proper meal as a healthy option (salad or a spud is not a meal) then I would remove that component of the challenge. In my eyes they had changed the rules and had thus disqualified themselves. The rest was pretty easy. No drama.

I was set this challenge before Easter. However, due to an unforeseen legal theft of my modem by my own father (also, the owner of said modem) I was not able to give this task the beef I felt it deserved. But over the Easter I persevered diligently with the task until my fingers were bleeding stumps.* I fruitlessly sent messages to and The_ I also pondered whether having Jamie Oliver as my friend on Faceboob counted. After a deep heated large-scale debate I decided that although he’s more powerful than a lot of people, he isn’t quite a world leader. He doesn’t have his own country. So I set about thinking about who may just have a country. I put myself in their shoes. If I was the leader of a country, would I really want to give up time and energy to respond to some w****r who needs to write a column to overcome his deep rooted fear of failure, anonymity and rejection? Only if my country wasn’t huge I imagine. So I looked up some lesser known countries. Ones where you can grow things more valuable than their currency. I have tried contacting Sealand, which is a country off the south coast consisting of an old gun tower. It’s in international waters and some bloke claimed it as his own. Result! I’m awaiting reply from them. I first heard about this exotic land on ‘How To Start Your Own Country’ a few years back. In this show, Danny Wallace makes a country! An idea I wish I’d had! He is King of the country ‘Lovely’ which consists of his flat, but is his own country! I tracked him down, explained my cause and received this reply:

Answer: YES…ish
*At this point I resist a monstrous urge to make a short story about how I found a small tribe of stumps in amongst the bracken in a twisted bush at the back of Stag Hill and set up some form of system whereby my fingers bled them... stop. Next challenge is a secret, it’s something I’m working on over Summer and secrecy is paramount to it working.
14th May 2008

A Year in the life of a Union President



Elections have also been a real success this year, I believe this is down to the improved marketing and communications of the union. We have really focused on getting the message out there, we saw a increase in nominations and a 500% increase in the number of votes, superb. In our sabbatical elections, we held less voting days, but saw an increase in votes cast. We also saw a huge increase in candidates, from 7 the year before to 26 this year, amazing! I have been to some interesting places in my year as well, I have visited a number of universities in the UK, attended several conferences around the UK, but I also took a trip to the USA in Easter to attend the ACUI (Associate College Unions International) Conference. What an experience, I have written a full write-up in my BLOG, but it was superb, in the USA, everything seems to be bigger and more expensive, it’s hard to compare, but a great place to base some dreams on. Being the President you get to meet some interesting people, in my year I have met our MP & Councillors, Celebrities, Royalty. Each of them interesting, and each in a different way! This year has seen the union develop in a number of areas. We have run more events than ever before. Our societies have an exciting future in the new Guild of Societies beginning in September. We have strengthened our relationship with the University in key areas, ensuring the union and students have a voice in the decision making in the university. We have worked with the university to look at the future of the Students’ Union, how it can safeguard it’s future, ensure it isn’t moved to the fringes of decisions. We have started the project to look at a new Students’ Union building. We have been involved in more university committees, representing students’ views than ever before. We obviously haven’t got everything right, nor are we offering everything that people ask for – but we are listening, and will try our best to offer everything you want from your Students’ Union. I have been asked to put together an article about my year as President, sounds It will take me a while to get used to just being Alex again when I finish – I pretty straightforward doesn’t it I thought, but actually it’s been pretty hard. will miss this job, it’s been an amazing year. Let’s be honest, there won’t be The year has absolutely flown by, and now coming to the end of my fifth year many other times in my life when I can walk across campus and say hello to here at Surrey, I have the shocking realisation that I am actually leaving. I almost everyone! How would I sum it up in a word? – Phenomenal (If I had know understand the feeling my friends had last year at graduation when they two it would be Phenomenal and Exhausting!) said goodbye, I was different because I knew I was coming back, but now But, in life, you have to be able to move on. I’m off to start a new job in the end is in sight! Luckily I have written a BLOG over my year which has London in August and have spent the last two months ensuring everything helped me to put this together, I am going to try and give you an insight into will be ready for our new team with Elizabeth at the helm come 1st July – the ups and downs of this job. Good luck and enjoy it! The handover period was weird, the anxious feeling that soon I would be Alex taking the reigns, alongside confusion over meetings, abbreviations and names (Senate, ULTC, Council, ASQUAC), the general feeling of being way out of my depth. But, July 1st came and I was in charge, suddenly I felt different, I felt powerful and excited, ready for this challenge (but still not really knowing quite what the challenge would be!). Every time I thought about the power I remembered Spiderman “With great power comes great responsibility” – Spot on! The summer months are funny at University, because although it is open and all the staff are about, you don’t really see that many students – the PGs don’t seem to be as visible as the UG students. July and August were full of national training events, meeting other presidents from around the country. I realised pretty quick that it’s a nonstop environment, I took a holiday in July and came back to over 200 emails, after being away for less than a week, and checking my mail all week as well – suddenly realised I needed a better filing system! Freshers’ week was totally mad, a huge effort physically and mentally (even without the alcohol!) moving in day went really well, moving thousands of items – it showed me what a great team we have in the union. Freshers fayre was amazing, the biggest ever, more students, more displays and stalls and more fun!
14th May 2008

Food Editor Farewell
I have enormously enjoyed being the food editor for barefacts during my final year at Surrey. The position did not officially exist last year and this year I hope I have established food as a regular edition to the paper. I have had a free reign regarding the layout and content of the page over the year and have had fun road testing and tweaking new recipes. My aims as food page editor were to print easy, healthy, cheap, tasty AND fun recipes. The challenge of ticking all these boxes has been difficult at times, however I hope I have shared my passion for food and encouraged you, the readers, to squeeze a few more tasty vegetable on to your plates. My career plans are to enter the nutrition sector of food industry and the experience as food editor has boosted my CV. Through barefacts I’ve gained confidence sharing ideas within the editorial team, I’ve had experience using publishing software and have exercised my creative side with designing layouts and writing content for my page. Over the year I’ve felt my page improve and have received heaps of positive feedback from friends and staff. I therefore whole heartily encourage you to get involved and attend next year’s AGM. Verity Try these three tasty classics for marinating chicken: Garlic, Lemon and Parsley, Honey and Soy sauce and ginger or smeared it all in BBQ sauce.
Try this flavoursome Mediterranean topping for chicken:

BBQ Time!
Cut back on the sausages and burgers and add some flavoursome variety to make your end of term BBQ memorable!
Have falafel and bring back those festival memories. BBQ vegetables such as bell peppers, mushrooms, courgette, aubergine. Make up kebabs by threading chicken, lamb or sausage with mushroom, spring onion and pepper on to skewers and brush’ with olive oil. Fish is delicious from the BBQ! Try salmon fillets smothered with the juice and zest of one l lemon, olive oil, handful fresh basil, salt and pepper or try tuna steak wrapped up in foil with pineapple chunks and sliced red chilli.

3 tbsp natural yoghurt, 1 tbsp sun dried tomato puree, handful fresh basil and 2 cloves garlic.

Pasta Salad
Ingredients to serve 2-4 200g cooked pasta 3 handfuls salad spiniach shredded hanful pine nuts 3 spring onions sliced 4 sundriend tomatoes sliced 2tbsp olive oil 1tsp chilli powder 1tsp oregano Method Cook the pasta in a large saucepan according to the packet instructions. Dry fry the pine nuts in a frying pan until golden. add 1tsp oil and fry the spring onions. Mix the remainibg olive oil, chilli powder and oregano to make a dressing. Drain the pasta and combine all the ingredients in a large bowl, refridgerate for 1 hour and serve as an addittion to the BBQ food.
14th May 2008



Maximise Your Energy Levels
Exam time is unfortunately upon us, but by thinking about what you eat you can increase your performance and help leave yourself ready to party after they finish. The first consideration is to check that you are eating regularly and not overlooking mealtimes. Set yourself up for success by having breakfast, buy things you like that are easy to prepare to make meals easier and have regular snacks. This will help supply your brain with a steady supply of glucose to fuel clear thinking. Secondly, drink plenty of water. The most common cause of headaches is dehydration; therefore drinking regularly can keep you feeling fresh and positive. Once these basics are sorted look at what is in the food your eating. Are you getting enough to the B vitamins and iron? B vitamins are involved in the metabolic reactions of energy production. Eating enough maximises your ability to gain energy from food. Foods rich in the B vitamins include milk, meat and wholegrain foods. Iron is important as its main function is transport of oxygen to cells where it’s needed to metabolise glucose. Depletion of iron stores may lead to unnecessary tiredness and impaired academic performance. Rich sources of iron include fortified breakfast cereals, red meat and beans.

Fruits that make a zinging fruit salad: Red and green grapes, cantaloupe melon, peaches, blueberries, kiwi, mango, strawberries, raspberries, apple, water melon & pineapple

Fruit Corner

Restaurant Review If the cold weather returns try Old Orleans

this Lazy Spiced Beef Stew

Ingredients to serve 4 450g diced braising steak ½ Swede peeled and diced 2 carrots peeled and diced 2 onions finely sliced 6 tsp peanut butter 1 tsp fresh grated ginger 1 tsp dried coriander 1 tsp dried turmeric 1 green chilli finely sliced 400g tinned chopped tomatoes 150ml vegetable stock boiled rice to serve

Method: Combine the onion, ginger, coriander, turmeric, chilli and the peanut butter and mix together in a bowl. Put the beef, swede and carrot to a large sauce pan. Add the vegetable stock, tinned tomatoes, onion and spice mixture. Turn on the heat and simmer, covered for 2 hours, stirring occasionally. Watch a movie and relax. Serve with rice and feel warm inside.

Cocktails are a key selling point for this strategically placed restaurant - next to the Odeon cinema - and the food’s not bad either. There is a bar and separate restaurant section, plus seating outside. Prices are relatively steep; expect to pay £25 a head including drinks, as main courses range from at £7-14. However there is a wide choice including fajitas, pasta, burgers, grills, and fish. Portions were decent but not excessive and the cheesy garlic bread starter looked particularly appetising from my end of the table. There is a choice of chips or jacket potato to accompany your meal and the Mediterranean vegetables served with fish were a pleasant change from standard peas. The staff were attentive and friendly. On the cocktail front they have old favourites like Long Island ice tea and sex on the beach and some more inventive additions such as the very bright and sugary Dennis the Menace which I indulged in, all served with ice and fresh fruit. barefacts rates Old Orleans 3/5. It’s great for group celebrations where they decorate the table with steamers and balloons and is excellent for chilled out cocktails in the evening sun.
14th May 2008

Dr Russ replies... What do i do now?
Russ Clark answers some of your questions as you near the end of your time at Surrey
Where can I look for vacancies after I’ve graduated? Throughout the summer we will be producing a weekly vacancies bulletin which we will be very happy to e-mail to you. The Prospects website www. is another excellent source of graduate vacancies. The site also carries details of specialist publications and websites which may have vacancy information for specific occupations. Just click on “Explore types of jobs”. Is it worth registering with recruitment agencies? working for an employer may be able to advise you about unadvertised vacancies. Members of your family may either help you directly or know someone who can. A good way to approach people is to ask for their advice. Most people love giving you their opinions and their experience of the job market can prove invaluable. Will there by any recruitment fairs taking place over the summer?

Most major cities will have them with the number of employers attending varying between 30 and 150. For a complete guide to all of the Fairs run by university careers You would be wise to at least consider using agencies as part of your job search. services, pick up Prospects Finalist in the Careers Service towards the end of May Some advertisements are placed by agencies anyway so if you are interested in the or check for details on the Prospects website You’d be wise job on offer you will have no choice but to reply through them. You can also use to treat your conversations with employers at fairs as if they were first interviews. agencies in a more deliberate way by contacting those who you think might be helpful. They are there to talent-spot so the impression you make is critical. Take copies of There is a website which lists them all according to the region of the country in your CV and keep a check list in your head of the things you would regard as your which they operate and the types of vacancy which they handle at major selling points such as value of degree, exam successes, relevant work experience and so on. Prepare to drop these into the conversation at suitable opportunities. Is it too late to consider postgraduate study? What about writing speculatively? Some graduates consider that writing to employers in the hope that they have vacancies is a waste of time. The evidence, though, is entirely the opposite. Some employers don’t even bother to advertise their vacancies since they know they will always be able to pick up good applicants from those who write on the off-chance. All you need to do is to structure your CV in such a way that you appear to be tailor-made for the kind of position you have in mind. Add a persuasive covering letter, spelling out your reasons for writing and the particular strengths which you would bring to the job, and an employer is hard-pressed to put off seeing you. Even if they don’t have immediate openings, they might put your letter on file. And networking? It is still not too late to secure a place on a postgraduate course, be it Certificate, Diploma, Masters or Doctorate. The key thing is to identify a suitable opportunity and then get in touch with the course provider as soon as possible. The Prospects website www.prospects. will help you to identify courses. Some will be full, but not all, and it is possible to secure funding even at this late stage. One word of caution, however, try to give at least some thought to where it might lead you. Course providers or Careers Services should be able to provide you with information about the destinations of previous students. You may find that the course doesn’t lead in quite the direction you have in mind. What about taking time out?

Every year about 30 or so Surrey graduates decide to do something different. Travel and/or Surrey graduates seem to be good at this. It involves letting as many people as possible voluntary or temporary employment are the most popular alternatives. If you would like know that you are job-hunting. Some contacts are particularly worth cultivating. Your to check out some of the possibilities, the Careers Service has a number of books which Professional Year Tutor or Personal Tutor for example, may receive calls from employers might help - Summer Jobs Abroad and InternationalVoluntaryWork are especially useful. who want to fill permanent positions. Friends who are returning to or already Is there anything else you can do to help? We will be running a Before You Go Week between Monday 19 and Friday 23 May. The week will include opportunities to meet employers, have your CV checked and so on. Watch out for details on the Careers Service website Can I still use the Careers Service after I’ve graduated? Definitely. Everything available to you as a student will continue to be available after you’ve graduated. For example, if you haven’t decided what to do yet, a chat with a Careers Adviser could help you to sort out your strengths, interests etc. and relate these to suitable careers. We can also advise you about application forms and interview technique, CV preparation, choosing between options and so on. We will be open throughout the summer so you can get in touch anytime. You can ring 01483 689001/02 or email if you’d prefer. There is no charge and you can continue using the Careers Service for as long as you need to. Finally, we will have a Job Hunters Pack for you in the Careers Service before you leave. Just drop in if you would like one.

If you are considering Postgraduate study please read our PG Tips section for a personal experience from a Postgrad

14th May 2008 WE LOVE RANDOM FACTS 13

Go with the Flow
By Sam Brett All the electricity was out in Aberdeen. None of the street lights or traffic signals had power. A dark limousine was cruising down the newly paved blacktop, with its headlights off. A young boy dressed totally in black (with no reflectors) stepped out to cross the street. The moon wasn’t out and the boy had no flashlight, yet the driver stopped to let the boy cross the street. How did the driver see the boy? By moving a magnet near a wire you can induce a current, this is one of the reasons putting magnets near your computer is a really bad idea. The current produced is known as an alternating current, this means the same bit of charge is going back and forth. To demonstrate this you can get a rope and a friend, put the rope around your friends waist and move it back and forth really quickly, and voila, you’re friend has a rope-burn, but thats ok because you have shown how energy is transfered. So this energy has been created in the form of an alternating current. This can the be put into the power grid via something called a transformer, which in this case isn’t a robot disguised as a truck. These convert the high current and low voltage into low current and high voltage using more electromagnetic magic. Having a high voltage is safer than a high current, but I’ll explain that later. This is then distributed around the country via pylons which make a mess of pretty parts of the countryside. When the electricity has been transfered to its destination it goes through another transformer to get the current back. This then ends up in your house. I wonder how many people really appreciate what goes into the making of electricity. To explain why voltage is safer I need you to think about a Van de Graaf generator, I’m sure most people have heard of volts and amps, but to give you a real world this is one of the cool things that makes your hair stand on end, this is an example idea of what these are I’ll draw a couple of analogies. Voltages are also known as of high voltage. Touching one of these things charges you up with about 5000 volts, potential differences, this can be compared with gravitational potential energy, like but this is safe because there is next to no current. This is also why its fun to rub your lifting something up, the higher it is the more potential energy it has. Current is a feet against carpets and shock your friends ears. Current, however, is truly deadly, bit more tricky, it is defined as the rate of flow of a change, the best way to think this is the thing that kills you, as I said before it is the rate of flow of charge, if you of this is having a hose pipe of water, the more water coming out of the pipe causes electrocute yourself you are literally cooking yourself, also it can really damage your a higher pressure, like the more electrons flowing in a wire, the higher the current. brain since that relies on electric pulse to make you work. However don’t go putting electricity down hose pipes… that could land me in a lot Although current is dangerous it is an intrinsic part of the electrical power we use. So of trouble. this is why your mum told you not to put your fingers in the plug socket and also why you So these volts and amps appear by magic and power our TVs and laptops, the end. shouldn’t ever muck about with power supplies unless you really, truly know what Sadly not. This is where I pick up from my last article about nuclear power, most you’re doing! Luckily we have fuses which are designed to break the circuits if electricity come from the same process. Firstly, something is burned, like coal or something goes wrong and to make things a bit safer. Oh and the answer to the riddle oil, this heats up some water. Secondly, the water starts to boil creating steam, this is: it was daylight. turns a turbine this mechanical energy is linked to a generator which uses the laws of electromagnetism to induce a current in a wire. first was If I ” n“ nerd rd “ Seuss i wo Dr. The d by e The sound of E.T. walking was coin he Zoo. t made by someone squishing her Ran

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The Atoms’ Secrets

14th May 2008

By Sam Brett Burning coal produces 4eV of energy. (eV is an Atoms are really amazing when you think about it, each electron volt, this is a small amount of energy that of these little fellows contains the 3 components which has significance on a very small scale, like individual make up everything we can touch, from stars to dust. In particles), whereas a nuclear reaction from Uranium the last article I spoke about the creation of atoms, this produces around 200,000,000eV. This is why nuclear time it’s the amazing power that they hold. weapons are far more dangerous than their chemical I’m sure you can all remember doing GCSE Chemistry counterparts. This is also why nuclear power plant can and setting things on fire with a bunsen burner, these are produce a lot of electricity. examples of Chemical Reactions. These come in two main The only problem that nuclear energy has is what it forms, exothermic, which give out heat, and endothermic, leaves behind, the waste produced from nuclear power which sucks heat in. When we burn something like oil is still dangerous and can have more devastating effects. or gas, what we are actually doing is breaking the bonds The radiation produced is hard to dispose of and can that the electrons in the atom have with other atoms, then cause cancer and other health problems. When we break rearranging them into new groups, in the examples of coal, up a nucleus, the bits left behind can take thousands of oil and gas, strings of carbon and hydrogen break into year to reach a safe level, making the land unusable. carbon dioxide and water and most importantly energy, Cue Nuclear Fusion: This is the same process that the this energy can then be used to heat water, run a car or sun undergoes to produce its energy. Instead of breaking light a stove. up big atoms, it smashes small ones together. This main advantage of this is the most Nuclear reactions work a bit differently. The best way to think about the nucleus is of the matter in the universe is the lightest of all elements, hydrogen! If we add extra like having a load of magnets coated in Velcro, if we try to put two of the same ends neutrons to hydrogen we make an isotope called Deuterium (1 proton, 1 neutron) or next to each other they try and repel each other, until the Velcro latches them together. Tritium (1 proton, 2 neutrons), these are heavier form of hydrogen. When you smash Now imagine putting a little bit of energy in to break the bond of the Velcro and these together we get a neutron, a helium atom and a lot of energy. This is important suddenly they shoot apart due to repulsion. A nucleus is purely positive and neutral because the by-products are all safe. Sadly this technology is some years, probably charges, so the positives are trying to push apart in the same way. About 70 years ago decades, in the future, but when the technology catches up with the theory, we can scientists worked out this energy could be released. This is done by making a heavy create vast amounts of energy and produce only safe by-products. atom unstable by shooting particles at them, this gives them the nudge needed to split So in the current climate, where the energy needs of our world cannot meet out the nucleus in to several pieces. pollution targets, consider a thought for nuclear power, which looks to be the only viable, carbon-neutral alternative.
14th May 2008



Gobble up good grades
There is so much in the media about healthy eating these days that it’s easy just to switch off. But, with your exams coming up, it’s worth trying to eat a balanced diet. Research has shown that eating certain foods and maintaining a balanced diet can help improve your concentration. So whilst it won’t make you a genius, it might just give you the edge you need to perform better in exams. Nutrition Scientist Claire MacEvilly explains why it’s important to maintain a balanced diet throughout the exam period: “Although weighing only 2% of total body weight, the brain uses approximately 20% of the body’s energy at rest. This is why regular, nutritious meals are important during exam time.” The brain is powered by energy which comes from broken down food. The primary source of energy for the brain is glucose which comes from carbohydrate rich foods like breads and pasta. The brain’s energy stores are very small, so to keep it functioning at its best, it needs constant glucose replacement. Food influences mood, but mood also influences food choice. There is no magic food to relieve stress, but we would recommend that you avoid skipping meals at all costs. There is no such thing as good or bad foods for exams, or any other time of the year. There are however bad habits! Focusing on one particular food is a bad thing, so you shouldn’t really be eating vast amounts of one particular food. Brain Food? It’s a cliché, but breakfast really IS the most important meal of the day. Your body has been starved of food all night while you sleep and you need to re-fuel to prepare for the day ahead. Food for thought Fish is often credited in folk-lore as being brain food. In recent years scientific research into the omega 3 polyunsaturated fatty acids present in oily fish suggests that this may not be so far from the truth. Docosahexaenoic Acid (DHA) is an Omega 3 fatty acid and is a major constituent of the human brain and retina and has so been linked with brain function and sparked an interest in the possibility of oily fish as ‘Brain Food’. Traditionally DHA is found in oily fish such as mackerel, however small amounts can be made in the body from the essential fatty acid alpha- linolenic acid though this is a relatively inefficient process much of the DHA being lost in the conversion process. So for the moment oily fish consumption is the best way to incorporate DHA into the diet. Brain development is very rapid during the last trimester of pregnancy during this period the tissue reserves of DHA in the pregnant woman are under increased pressure. Eating more DHA rich foods at this time may be of some benefit. Recent guidelines issued by the Food Standards Agency recommend pregnant women and women of childbearing age to limit oily fish consumption to twice a week because some oily fish contain chemicals such as dioxins and PCBs. The upper limit for men, boys, and women not intending to become pregnant is 4 portions a week. Scientists are now investigating the possibility that children’s diets can influence their behaviour. Fish oils have attracted particular interest because of indications that their consumption may help to control attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Interestingly in adults research suggests that fish oils may play a preventative role in reducing risk of developing dementia and more recent studies have even found a link between DHA levels and reduced incidence of depression. It is clear that the fatty acids present in oily fish have a potentially beneficial effect on brain function affecting behaviour and concentration in both adults and children. However continued research is required to determine to what extent this influence is due to oily fish in the diet. A balanced diet should contain some oily fish (currently recommended as one portion a week), but very few people eat enough in their daily diet to get the levels of DHA they need. It is especially difficult to get children to eat something that isn’t part of their normal diet. Functional foods can play a role in increasing consumption: Omega 3 fatty acid enriched eggs are a novel food product designed to increase DHA in the diet. These so called ‘intelligent eggs’ are laid by hens fed a small amount of tuna oil enriched with DHA and meet ¾ of the recommended daily intake with one egg containing 0.15g DHA. Eggs are a very versatile food making up a staple part of the British diet and therefore are an ideal way of increasing DHA intake. The food industry is looking at other similar ways to increase fish oil consumption in the diet through fortification of staple foods- keep an eye out for additions in bread. Iron Iron may also play a vital role in concentration levels and for this reason can be referred to as a ‘brain food’. Iron is required for the formation of haemoglobin in red blood cells which transport oxygen around the body. A lack of iron leads to low iron stores in the body and eventually to iron deficiency anaemia. Loss of blood due to injury or large menstrual losses increase iron requirements. Women and teenage girls in particular, need to ensure their diet supplies enough iron. Anaemia affects our capacity to work, depresses the immune system and impairs learning ability. It is therefore very important to ensure adequate levels of iron in the diet. Iron is found in plant and animal sources. Iron from animal sources (haem iron) is better absorbed than iron from plant sources (non-haem iron). Absorption of non-haem iron is affected by various factors in food. Phytate (in cereals and pulses), fibre, tannins (in tea and coffee) and calcium can bind non-haem iron, which reduces absorption. Vitamin C, present in fruit and vegetables, aids the absorption of this kind of iron. Bread and many breakfast cereals are fortified with iron in the UK, and make a valuable contribution to iron intake. In order to maximise iron absorption drink a glass of orange juice with your breakfast cereal in the morning. Blood Sugar Levels Controlling our blood sugar can also help with concentration. Have you ever suffered from the mid afternoon drop in energy levels? Many people often become tired mid afternoon due to a drop in blood sugar. This can result in a craving for something sweet- does the 3pm chocolate snack sound familiar? It is best to avoid this temptation as this will only cause a sharp peak in blood sugar follow by an equally sharp decline leaving us feeling irritable, lethargic and generally still hungry! It’s best to choose a slow releasing carbohydrate snack often referred to as foods with a low Glycaemic Index or GI. These include fresh or dried fruit, a handful of nuts or even a low fat muffin. Compiled by: Sarah Oyston IFR Research Scientist and Registered Nutritionist Issued by: Communications Office Institute of Food Research

Think you know your science?

Why not become the next science editor for barefacts?
Look out for AGM dates in September
14th May 2008

Code Breaker

Clues Across: 1) Ancient Egyptian city, site of the Temples of Luxor and Karnak. (6) 4) Ladies with topless glasses? (Cryptic)) (6) 9) King of the jungle. (Though, it doesn’t actually live in the jungle.) (4) 10) Disrespectful; cynical. (10) 11) Single-celled organism. (6) 12) Edible green vegetable, often eaten in sandwiches. (8) 13) and 24 across. The --------- ---------: 1994 film based on a novella by Stephen King. (9, 10) 15) Confectionary made from flour, 1 2 Clues Down: 1) Former British motorcycle manufacturer; victory. (7) 2) Inhabitant of Sesame Street; computer that generates winning Premium Bond numbers. (5) 3) Text honouring a dead person, written on the gravestone. (7) 5) What everyone is happy to give, but unhappy to receive? (6) 6) Rugby Union position played

eggs, butter and sugar. (4) 16) Assaults; shots on target. (4) 17) One who believed in the existence of the republic of Sans Seriffe or that spaghetti grows on trees? (5, 4) 21) Texas city; Spanish for ‘yellow’. (8) 22) Sharp, predominately free of crushed emerald. (Cryptic) (6) 24) See 13 across. 25) And others. (Latin) (2, 2) 26) County which contains the towns of Hastings and Rye and the city of Chichester. (6) 27) Insect manufactured by Volkswagen? (6) by Gareth Edwards, Rory Lawson and Richard Wigglesworth. (5, 4) 7) Earnest; truthful. (7) 8) A fear of spiders. (13) 14) Fluid-filled mattresses. (5, 4) 16) Baskets; Inhibits, hinders. (7) 18) Impact; interfere with. (7) 19) Atrocity; resentful anger. (7) 20) Pass by. (Especially time) (6) 23) Incompetent; clumsy. (5)

Could you be the next Lord of the Puzzles , Puzzlelord is going into retirement , all the money and fame has gone to his head . ( In fact he turned quite nasty in the end ) . However, he needs a replacement So look out for the AGM dates next semester .......
14th May 2008


14th May 2008

Andy Vale suggests some personal favourite tracks for your listening pleasure.......
Rocket From The Crypt - ‘Scream Dracula Scream’ and ‘RFTC’ I felt a bit bad about the human race when I found out that this band had split up, go and buy everything they have done. Listen to: Run Kid Run, Born In ‘69 The Wildhearts - ‘The Best Of The Wildhearts’ and ‘The Wildhearts Must Be Destroyed’ One of the best bands to come from these shores in the last 15 years, here are two solid reasons for that. Listen to: Geordie in Wonderland, Vanilla Radio Elegy - ‘Forbidden Fruit’ No idea, I bought it because I liked the cover. Holst - ‘The Planets’ Now that Pluto is no longer a planet, this suite is complete. Listen to: Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity Manic Street Preachers - ‘Lifeblood’ The fact that they are headlining the second stage at Reading, while The Killers are headlining the main, is utterly f***tarded Listen to: Cardiff Afterlife Econoline - ‘Music Is Stupid’ I liked the album title, not a bad buy. Listen to: I’m Plagued Pavarotti & Friends Funny hearing Sting trying to match Luciano on La Donna E’ Mobile, but some interesting treats Listen to: Ava Maria Aerosmith - ‘Just Push Play’ Bish bash bosh, it’s Aerosmith so it rocks. I got it for 80p. Yes! Listen to: Jaded Faith No More - ‘Angel Dust’ Once selected as the most influential rock album ever. Listen to: Midlife Crisis Two Fingers Of Firewater - ‘Two Fingers Of Firewater’ One of the best bands on the local scene, regularly gets listened to all the way through by all of us here. Listen to: Endless Highway Nine Inch Nails - ‘The Downward Spiral’ Twisted, intoxicating and at times downright dirty. Listen to: Closer Kingdom Come - ‘Kingdom Come’ Achieved hatred in the 80’s for being known as a Led Zeppelin rip off. Some songs suggest this was unfair, others suggest it was pretty spot on. Listen to: Get It On (for a Led Zep wannabe), Shout It Out (not so Zep) Tarrus Riley - ‘Parables’ One of the finest voices in Reggae today, give time and ears to this. Listen to: Africa Awaits The Fall - ‘Dragnet’ Second album from John Peel’s favourite band, it’s quite wonderful in places but they are still finding their feet. Listen to: Psykick Dance Hall Gary Numan - ‘Replicas’ A Freak Like me prefers this to the Sugary sounds... babe? Listen to: I Nearly Married A Human or Are Friends Electric? (to see what the description was about) Fleetwood Mac - ‘The Very Best Of Fleetwood Mac’ You forget just how many awesome songs they had. Listen to: Go Your Own Way Blind Lemon Jefferson - ‘The Best of Blind Lemon Jefferson’ Not quite the VERY best of him, but the best nonetheless. A unique voice from a fascinating time in music. Listen to: See That My Grave’s Kept Clean Nicky Wire - ‘I Killed The Zeitgeist’ First solo effort from the main songwriter of the Manics, can’t sing well but it works somehow. Listen to: Nicky Wire’s Last Cliff Richard - ‘The Singles’ All 160-something for £8 on iTunes! As uncool as this is to say he has some rocking stuff if you give him a chance. Listen to: Born to Rock n Roll John Coltrane - ‘The Impulse Story’ Focusses on a small but important part of this Jazz legends career. Listen to: Greensleeves Philip Glass - ‘The Essential Philip Glass’ I got this after watching Koyaanisqatsi and I am coming to the conclusion that this man is brilliant. Listen to: A Gentleman’s Honour Martin Grech - ‘Open Heart Zoo’ If you missed this when it came out, buy this. Now. Listen to: The whole sodding album. Tom Waits - ‘Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards’ Triple album from one of the best songwriters ever, I keep finding new things to love about this man. Listen to: Lie To Me, Army Ants and Long Way Home
By reading this you agree to not download anything listed here illegally. That includes a certain file sharing service ryhming with fleecy puss bus. You need to take a long hard look at yourself if you’ll happily pay for your Big-Mac, vastly taxed cigarettes or Topshop garments but will then steal from an artist you like. You’d winge to high heaven if a chav mugged you, so don’t do it on the sly to musicians. It costs less than half a pint to download a song on many online outlets, don’t be a cheapskate. If you agree/disagree with any of the above reviews then send a message saying so to I’d love to hear from you!


For those of you who have yet to cross the English Channel, and even for those lucky buggers who have, you may be astounded to hear that there is actually a plethora of musical wonders within our grasp. From the 200,000 visiting Rock Wertcher each year in Belgium, to the 190,000 EXIT fans huddled within the gates of the Petrovaradin Fortress in Novi Sad, Serbia, the array of talent on show is captivating to say the least. Still clueless? Well, it is the alluring European Music Festival scene you are about to discover. European Music Festivals host world renowned acts, from the likes of Sigur Ros confirmed at Rock Wertcher, to The Offspring gracing the stage at this years Les Eurockeenes. By no means is this encouraging a boycott on UK festivals, in fact far from it. However with an extra day of music, cheap European beer, treat, and the fact you will be visiting another country, it is hard to dismiss the attraction that the likes of Pukkelpop in Belgium have to offer. Up until now, you and I have been at a somewhat disadvantage. Unfortunately there has been little if not no effort to supply us, the collaboration of festival lovers, with up-to-date news and information about these European spectacles, foolish I know. Some may blame that damn English Channel, some may blame those crazy French, some, and of whom I am part of, blame the lack of enthusiasm by us, the British public. Yet after nearly all hope is gone, there is light gradually emerging at the end of the channel tunnel. This comes in the sign of a website dedicated to supplying us with much needed information about major European Music Festivals. There is a forum to rant on about why Razorlight have about as much talent as my stranded nipple hair and opportunities for you to discuss your experiences across the waters. Eurofestival. is there to act as your guide and your portal for euroFestival information. You’ll find up-to-date information on an ever expanding list of European music festivals including line-up updates, rumours, information on travel and accommodation, ticket information and an opportunity to submit questions to the team behind the website. The highlight of the site is the extensive information provided for your trip. Delicately

catering for independent travellers that simply want to know the nearest airport, as well as those of you still unable to pin-point Belgium on a map; euroFestival will aid you in planning the perfect trip abroad. There are now no excuses. It cannot be any easier for those wanting to visit Madrid of Barcelona for Spain’s very own Summercase festival. For the true enthusiasts out there, of whom I proudly take my hat of too, a calendar is provided detailing when and where the major festivals are taking place. Is Nova Rock, Austria, not quite enough? Maybe you want to stop off at Hurricane in Scheeßel, Germany, as you make your way back through Europe? Well the calendar will assist you in making the very most of your trip. I strongly urge those even vaguely interested in music, festivals or European culture to check this out. For those attracted to the thought of crossing the English Channel this summer for all your musical desires, remember euroFestival.

Ben Pook

Do you ever listen to something and think “That’s the worst thing i have heard all year!” Then you could be a reviewer for barearts ! If you fancy joining the wonderful team then look out for AGM dates in September

14th May 2008

Souvenir Picture Pullout

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14th May 2008
Michelle Williams We Break The Dawn Music World/Columbia


The third member of the record-breaking R&B trio Destiny’s Child, Michelle Williams, returns to the mainstream charts this summer. Whilst Michelle’s previous two gospel-heavy albums, “Heart To Yours” (2002) and “Do You Know” (2004), were received with little fanfare, the ‘other girl’ from DC-3 returns with a synth-heavy summer club hit built over a simple, understated beat. “We Break The Dawn” heralds a very welcome new style, new direction and new look for the Destiny’s Child underdog with Williams’ first contemporary R&B/pop/dance record, the aptly-titled “Unexpected”, set for an August release. Definitely one to look – or rather listen – out for. 4.5/5, Josh Bates

Mariah Carey Bye Bye Island Records The last time Mariah Carey and Johnta Austin collaborated, it resulted in two of the biggest hits of Carey’s career with “We Belong Together” and “Don’t Forget About Us” - her sixteenth and seventeenth US #1 singles respectively. “Bye Bye”, the second single from “E=MC²” (an album Mariah herself has dubbed “The Emancipation of Mimi Part 2”) retreads similar territory to her previous successes. In “Bye Bye”, a song about the loss of a loved one, Carey gains a sure-shot at gaining her nineteenth #1 hit - hot on the heels of the worldwide success of “Touch My Body”. Another multiformat hit for Carey, complete no less with an urban “So So Def Remix” featuring Jay-Z. 4/5, Josh Bates

Strangers on a Train at Fahrenheit 55 Headline: Motown Soul Support: The Bourbon Roses, Byron Johnston 12/03/08
On a chilled evening in late winter, one can always find some joy in Fahrenheit 55 - in short it’s a bit like walking into a holiday. This Wednesday (as with every) it is the highly acclaimed ‘Strangers on a Train’ night, which aims to bring incredible signed and unsigned artists to this intimate venue for an night of fine music. The caliber on show is frequently of a higher order than the venue capacity would suggest, and tonight is by no means an exception. In fact it could even be said that tonight is exceptional, headline act Motown Soul comprise of Peter Lamarr and Abraham Hampton who are current members of legendary Motown act The Drifters (singer and keyboardist respectively). But before we get to that it would be utterly criminal not to mention the support acts. First up was Byron Johnston, the host of the night and one of the finest acoustic players in the area. When he takes up a pew and delivers his flamenco inspired instrumental set even those who see him every week are transfixed by sounds that he inventively conjures from his two guitars. This evening we are also treated to a rare airing of the title track from his ‘Oceano’ album, available on iTunes and thoroughly recommended. Following this were The Bourbon Roses who play some stimulating blues reminiscent of the Mississippi Delta sound of the forties with a bit of contemporary rasp thrown in. A simple set up of two guitarists and a singer, who played the tambourine with his foot so he could still play the harmonica.

Class. It’s refreshing to see a young band injecting some real life into this sound and doing so with an infectious verve that commands attention despite its stripped back nature. It was how you’d imagine the Stones sounded in their attic when they were teenagers just playing for the sheer love of the blues. I strongly urge you to come and see them headline at Fahrenheit 55 on the 7th of May! In an interview with the headliners earlier in the night it transpired that this was actually their first performance as a duo. However judging by their tightness and camaraderie you would not have guessed it. Playing only the one Drifters song, tonight’s set consists largely of Motown classics for everyone to enjoy by luminaries such as Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye and Otis Redding. Many of these songs are played with full band originally so full credit must go to Abe for bringing the full sound of these timeless classics alive using just a keyboard; he even had time to play an impromptu wee run through of Super Mario tunes in between songs. Meanwhile Peter shows just why the currant line-up of The Drifters is still going strong. A voice like that will pull crowds no matter what decade you put it in, as it did tonight. To find out more about the night, go to html or

Andy Vale
An Interview with Phil Etheridge University of Surrey, Student’s Union 16/02/08
‘Chilly yet Bright’, a fine way to describe Saturday 16th February and pointed out ever so well by my compatriot Andy Vale. However one thing that didn’t reflect the mood of the day was Phil Etheridge’s outrageous hang over from the night before, “With a voice like this your in for a right gig!” rock and roll I here you sigh. As we briefly discussed the frontman’s antics in the mind-blowing town that is Guildford, and what a glorious town it is, we quickly moved onto more pressing things at hand. Phil was accompanied by his entourage of grape pickers and butlers, whilst being wheeled in on a solid gold chariot, however for sake of the bands image we must sadly assume I have made that all up. The five lads from Birmingham have drummed up a somewhat cult, britpop following over the years. Whether that warrants the reintroduction of Ben ‘Chav’ Sherman shirts I am not sure, slightly harsh however nevertheless true. Yet what was pleasing to the eye was to see the comeback of the Dr Martins, a true British Icon I was happy to embrace yet again. “That brit-pop era influenced a lot of people to pick up a guitar, and we were one of them. We are just one of those bands inspired by the people like the Verve”. Associations with Shaun Ryder and Co have followed the band since their first tour, “Happy Monday’s were a big influence. Every few years something comes along and influences people”. Other influences Etheridge was keen to point out were the likes of Badly Drawn Boy and Oasis. He recognises the fact that listening to his brother’s record collection played a roll in how he writes but at the same time outlines “I don’t try to be clever or smart, or something I’m not. I just write what I write, sometimes its rubbish and sometimes it’s all right!”. The independent nature of Etheridge’s writing style shines through in his lyrics, perhaps giving the sense of a working man’s band, however this is a perception Etheridge doesn’t necessarily agree with “You can be perceived wrong can’t you, when people go you’re an ‘every man’ band n’all. We are a band and we write songs, we put in a lot of work and we took it seriously”. After a few more gracious sips of my shockingly-overpriced mocha, oh how flavoursome it was, we began talking about The Twang’s co-singer Martin Saunders. His covering vocals create an elegant backdrop to the sketchy voice of Etheridge, one thing the frontman was determined to point out “I thought he sounded like Morrissey, he’s such an important part of the band”. Etheridge’s adoration for Saunders was clear and it seemed like a reaction to the reviews slating his ‘Bez’ like antics on stage, something he wanted to put to rest “He writes some great hooks. To my ears they (the choruses) sound a lot better”. The natural collaboration between the two voices is showcased in ‘Cloudy Room’, a track ex-Chelsea favourite Vialli will no doubt be proud of. The bass guitarist Jon Watkin and Etheridge are the backbone of the band, writing the majority of the music and lyrics. However before Saunders joined, The Twang were still finding their rhythm “At the end of every set I use to put down the bass (Etheridge) and Jon would put down his guitar and I would do this stupid little rappy-type thing”. Without Saunders, the band would still be looking for that final piece, that last element to create the music we now recognise as The Twang. One aspect of the new album that ‘caught the eye’ was the bizarre cover. A fox in a parker coat? “I remember choosing that album cover before going on stage. It was such a mad time, I don’t know what come over me”. Etheridge was adamant in defending his judgement, no matter how surreal the cover looks “If in 20 years time, people are discovering that album and going ‘It’s a great record’, then that album cover becomes a great cover”. A perception Andy was unsure about, “What a w****r” the frontman replied to Vale’s hesitant facial expressions, a sense of humour somewhat running through the interview. Vale: Where did the name The Twang come from then? Etheridge: The same place as the fox. Etheridge’s witty humour adds to his down-to-earth attitude to life, he seems grateful about where he is yet at the same time he is determined to continue playing live to fans. “That’s what we are, we are a live band and we pride ourselves on being a good live band”. There is no denying the fascinating atmosphere created at their gigs. Watching Etheridge and Saunders front the stage and work the crowd into a frenzy is incredible, refreshing at the least considering the idleness adopted by many pop bands. It is this attitude to playing live that has had them playing at University’s all over the country. After all the grapes had finally been plucked and when The Twang’s butler was near breaking point with my continuous demands for fresh coffee not instant, when will these people ever learn, the interview was finally over. Saunders was waiting outside, dressed in a two-piece tracksuit with a face like a badger’s arse, not surprising since Friday was their ‘day off’ for boozing and what not. Watkins accompanied him as they hunted down the nearest television to watch the Gooner/Utd match. Later that evening The Twang went on to play an outlandish and inspirational set, full of atmosphere renowned for their performances. They gave us a flavour of some new material which I am sure you will pleased to hear sounded treatingly well and were supported by Leicester’s very own ‘The Displacements’ and ‘Jersey Budd’. The Twang will be touring festivals this summer; I pity the fool who miss’s the opportunity to see them live. Ben Pook


14th May 2008

If you are interested in becoming an Arts editor, and wowing the readers of barefacts with your musical know all. Then look out for the AGM dates in September and get writing those reviews!
14th May 2008



Editorial Simon Moore

With the year now drawing to a close and the final issue of barefacts upon us, it’s time for the last societies section of the year. With me graduating in the coming months (hopefully) it will be up to the incoming editor to carry on bringing in articles in for societies and encouraging others to put something in for the issues. Hopefully readers will have enjoyed the articles in the last few months, with the section having provided a quick look into what some of our University societies get up to, with plenty of photos to brighten up the pages. The section has begun to receive some regular submissions from photography, dance societies, walking and departmental societies; whoever takes over will hopefully carry on expanding the range. Enjoy the last few weeks, Simon

The final issue of barefacts has hit and so we decided to look back on this years events and highlights for Mountain Walking. At the recent SUGAR awards held by the union we won the ‘Best Special Interest Society’ of 2007-2008, a great achievement by any means. This award was given largely based on the numerous trips and activities the society has put on in the past year, with weekends away almost every month. The society has run 7 away trips in Snowdonia, South Wales, Dartmoor, The Lake District, Scotland, Isle of Wight and even overseas to Italy. As you might expect with walking we’ve tested out all the whether types in the last year from sunny blue skies, pelting rain, 60mph+ winds, and softly falling snow. The photo’s you may have seen in some of the articles over the past year and in this article also help to highlight the beauty of our walks. No matter the weather, there is always something to appreciate as each walk will give you something to smile about and, with any luck, say ‘wow’. Don’t let the conditions scare you off; we are a society open to all abilities and groups within the university. We have students, staff and alumni with many keeping in touch with the group for years to come, and helping out with accommodation too! When possible there are local walks and rambles around the South East that inevitably end up in a team room or pub (real ale!) going on most weekends. Trips to the local Hogsback Brewery, and Denbie’s Vineyard are also popular amongst the club and happened at several points this year. As mentioned, we can’t forget the clubs weekend trips that happen at least once every 6 weeks. These trips are planned to take in some of the more breathtaking views the UK has to offer and are great value for money, often coming in at £30-£60 for 2-3 days away with food, transport and lodging covered. The trips are a cheap way to see some amazing views and make lasting connections and friendships with others at the university.

Mountain Walking Society

Weekly meetings are used as a way to introduce new skills into the group, or develop those of newer members. Recent topics have looked at navigation, photography, and mountain safety, to name a few. These are usually followed by the weekly socials with themed food nights, pub quizzes, restaurants, movie evenings, games nights, and the infamous Safari Supper.

If you have enjoyed anything you have seen in either this article or previous Mountain Walking instalments in the paper over the last year, then please get in touch. Whether you just want to come socialise, go on a weekend walk or even a trip away, then we would be happy to hear from you. Get in touch with us at ussu. . With the current committee’s time coming to a close we wish the incoming guys all the success we have had: President (Ross), Vice-President (Hannah), Treasurer (Claire), and Equipment Officer & BBB (Brendan). Simon, Helen and Hannah

Photography -


14th May 2008

Profile: Radu Sporea

I am an Electronic Engineering PhD student at the Advanced Technology Institute. My childhood passion for computers has slowly migrated to integrated circuit design and now to device modelling and fabrication. In my spare time I like to travel, see places and sample other cultures. While at Surrey I have started playing the guitar, learning the basics of automotive mechanics and discovering the many yet challenging joys of teaching. I have little experience with analogue photography, but, my first digital camera bought in 2002 really got me interested. Used mostly for vacation shots, the 2-megapixel Canon IXUS V was an engineering marvel and a great conversation icebreaker. Then the Canon A80 and an S1 IS came and they have been trusty companions on my journeys. I now own a Canon Rebel 350D and another IXUS400. I have tried my hand at most styles and my tastes in terms of subjects change quite frequently. This shot was taken one afternoon in April coming from Compton, on the hill south of Guildford. It is a 3exposure HDR processed with Photomatrix. The rays were just begging to be captured. The colours were there in the original image but I have accentuated them using Corel PhotoPaint X3. Time permitting, I am happy to chat on photography matters with anyone no matter what their experience, so do not hesitate to write and say hello.

Photography Featured Works

The following are the works of 9 photographers from the Photography Society of the University of Surrey: Adam Sayer, Andrew Pye, Bevis King, Cemre Zor, Edward Combes, Murat Badem, Philippe Stenier, Radu Sporea and Vassilis Korkas. The photos cover a range of subjects captured during trips that the Photography Society has arranged such as the “Guildford and the University of Surrey”, “Motorsports”, “London at Night”, “Virginia Water” trips. If you are interested in finding out more about these photos or the society in general then please contact the president at , note that the above photographers hold copyright on their photos in the following selection.
14th May 2008


No Wave…at Chav Night? Well, it worked a treat. We had No Wavers queuing up with DJ sets featuring alternative music of every variety imaginable, and they all went down a storm. But we aren’t done for the term yet! The two biggest events in the Union calendar are still to come, and No Wave is going to be featuring at both. Fetish Night, May 16th, and the End Of The Year Show uDisco, May 22nd will both see No Wave return to the HRB with an alternative music mission. I’m not going to lie to you, Fetish Night is going to take depravity to a whole new level, and No Wave will be there, stretching the realms of decency to their limits from 10pm ‘til 3am with sets from some of our finest DJs, all hand picked for their musical genius and downright moral degeneracy.

14th May 2008
The End Of The Year Show uDisco sees No Wave descend into the HRB one more time this term and we’re planning to end the year with a bang. Expect a loud, euphoric and above all alternative climax to the term, with our DJs playing from 10pm ‘til 3am. April 22nd saw the handover of the society to the new committee. We’d all like to thank the outgoing committee for their hard work and pledge to continue it into the next academic year. Rest assured, plans are already afoot for big nights next term with top DJs and live bands galore. No Wave, the Alternative Music Society of the University of Surrey, meets in Wates House (up the hill opposite the front of the library) every Tuesday evening at 7:30pm. Our last meeting this term will be on 20th May and, as ever, all are welcome. Alasdair ‘Pyro’ Burchill

More Photography...

No Wave

I hope you have enjoyed the selection of photos provided for this final issue and over the course of the year from the photography society. As seen there are a range of subjects that strike the clubs interests and so if you would like to find out more about the photos or get involved then they can be contacted via email at cz00010@surrey.

Chinese Lion Dance Workshop
At around 2pm on this faithful Wednesday afternoon, those who were enjoying a calm lunch or a swift pint outside Chancellors suddenly felt the need to dash inside and cower to the safety of the windows. Members of the Chinese Association of Woking had donned a Chinese Unicorn costume and made the necessary actions needed to bless Union House, and this required lots of cymbals and gongs to accompany the dance. This carried on further up the hill, past the Activities Centre and through the back entrance of Rubix to end at the dance floor area, where the workshop was held. The Chinese Lion Dance has been established for well over a thousand years, where they’ve been used for entertainment for the Imperial Court, or as a means to rid the land of evil spirits and bring in good luck and fortune. Of course, the apex of its demand and popularity fall within the Chinese New Year Festival, where a sea of colour fills the main towns and cities with their performances. CAW had showed off their talents in the festival held in Woking the previous month, and had gathered the time to spend an hour or two at the university. Since learning how to dance, the etiquette and various actions performed whilst having a large lion head against your shoulders takes many years, this workshop was more on experience and expanding your culture. Many observers had come to peek from the upper levels, as six of us introduced ourselves and were more than encouraged to try out most of the instruments on show. While it may sound chaotic to the listener,

there is a strict method of playing cymbals and gongs to denote each stage of the lion or unicorn’s performance, and this involves using your chest as a muffler when playing cymbals (which can be quite tricky when you’re a bony kid like me!). Other percussion instruments made from traditional materials reached such immense weight, that the assistance of another person or the use of a frame is common; all to achieve the aspect of ‘the louder, the better’. Next to the drum lies the costume that most of us are more familiar with – an intensely luminous yellow lion (Liu Bei, to be more precise), and we were all given a chance to try the actual head on and try some simple manoeuvres. While it is bulky, its clever construction means that weight isn’t an issue, allowing for the smooth and feline-like actions that are expected from a performance. This can include the very cute action of sitting down and touching parts of the costume with your feet, giving the impression of the lion preening itself. Overall, it was an interesting hour of culture, and gave myself and five others the opportunity to experience how difficult, precise and ordered you have to be in order to carry on a thousand year tradition, whilst at the same time being treated to some professional performances. I suggest you look out for the lions, unicorns and dragons that will probably dominate the opening ceremony of this year’s Olympic Games in Beijing. Chris Pittock

One of the group trying on the very fluffy Liu Bei lion head.
14th May 2008



Issue 3





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02/05/2008 10:26:52
14th May 2008

Football Roundup
With the season drawing to a close, many ups and downs have already been decided. In Europe, we are guaranteed at least one continental cup will be coming back to Britain, and in the Premiership, it’s going to go right down to the wire… Unfortunately though, we went to the printers before that final day of the Premiership, and before the Playoffs began!
Title Race Arsenal must be kicking themselves for throwing away what seemed like an indominitable lead at the top of the table, whilst Liverpool will probably be happy enough just to be in the top four! The real battle is between Chelsea and Man United; with Avram Grant’s side clawing back into the chase for the title, beating United 2-1 last weekend in a game that had United won, that would’ve been the Championship race over. Now it seems as though United’s goal difference is going to be their saving grace… Short of Chelsea bettering United’s score by 19 goals on Sunday, Alex Ferguson’s side simply need to win to secure the title! Relegation Fight Two from Birmingham, Reading, Fulham and Bolton will have been relegated by the time you read this, and will have to prepare themselves for Championship football next season. Fulham should be so proud of themselves for the turnaround in form they’ve experienced recently! Reading’s recent form has been abysmal, and they haven’t scored since the end of March; having dropped from relative security at the start of March, the Royals are ‘that team’ that plummets towards the end of the season. Bolton, like Fulham have improved recently, and in the process have forced Birmingham back into the mire. Despite facing Chelsea on final day, Bolton should be OK- their victory over Sunderland has all but ensured their safety. Again, Fulham needn’t worry- they face a Portsmouth side who are more than likely to field a reserve side in order to prepare for their upcoming Cup final. With these fixtures, even though Reading and Birmingham face Derby and Blackburn respectively, a victory for either will still require the Cottagers to slip up. I hope I’m wrong with this prediction, but sorry Reading and Birmingham fans- there’s no coming back from this… FA Cup What a great cup this has been! Every big-four side out before the Semi-Finals; we WILL have a winner who began the tournament written off without a chance! The famous Cup needed something like this, as it had become stale recently (remember the half-arsed performance from Man United and Chelsea in the first final at New Wembley? I thought not). Portsmouth are surely favourites, but this might not suit Harry Redknapp’s side who have gotten to the semi-finals playing as the underdogs. Pompey have played pretty poorly in the last two rounds, yet despite this have managed to overcome Man United and West Brom to make it to their first FA Cup final in decades. Cardiff will fancy their chances as well though, having made it this far for the first time since they won the cup in 1927! Continental Competitions Surely this year, British teams have proven their dominance of European football! Not only did we have three English teams reach the semi finals of the Champions League; but we now have an all-English final in Chelsea v Man United, so it is guaranteed that the Champions League trophy will be coming back to England from Moscow. The question is though; is it going to Manchester or London? It would be a fantastic achievement for United to do the double… but there’s also the potential that Chelsea could too! As well as this, Rangers reached the UEFA Cup final after holding Fiorentina to a 0-0 aggregate draw then winning on penalties. The Scottish club must be very proud, and must be confident they can over come Zenit Petersburg to take the trophy back to Glasgow. Football League Finale The big clubs weren’t the only ones in action this weekend- the Football League ups and downs were decided. Stoke and WBA will be playing Premiership football next season- what a fantastic season it’s been for the Baggies! Leicester are the newest member of the ever-increasing pool of ex-Premiership teams to drop into the third tier of English football. However, Nottingham Forest will be replacing the Foxes; who are now back (along with Swansea) after a long absence from the Championship. Congratulations also to Leeds United who, despite being docked 15 points, still reached the League One playoffs! Local Sides Congratulations to Aldershot town, our new local Football League side- who gained promotion to League Two by storming the Conference with 101 points! This is a fantastic achievement for the club to be back in the Football League, considering they reformed just 16 years ago after going bust! Woking finished comfortably in 17th; nothing really to shout home about, but far from relegation worries. Guildford City came 2nd in the Combined Counties Premier Division- a mere 25 points behind league leaders Merstham(!) “Theatre, Art, War, Love” To finish this year’s last Football Roundup, let’s return to basics… why we love football. A number of people have pointed out recently an advert for Sky’s football coverage from 1997. The general consensus is that this advert sums up what it’s like to support your team. Nothing can take away those feelings, be they good or bad… “Life; it can be difficult, we all know that. We all need someone to rely on, someone that’s going to be there, someone that’s going to make you feel like you belong. Someone constant. It’s ecstasy, anguish, joy and despair. It’s part of our history, part of our country and

If you fancy being a sports editor for barefacts then look out for the AGM date in September! For more info on what the position entails email
14th May 2008

An evening with Sir Trevor Brooking



By David Halls & James Salmon Towards the end of last term, the University of Surrey was paid a visit by Sir Trevor Brooking. Unfortunately, due to traffic problems causing Sir Trevor’s lateness, barefacts was unable to interview the ex-West Ham and England legend. However, his lecture went into great depth about the state of English sport (and covered every question we would have asked him anyway)! As Director of Football Development at the FA, he has often spoken about his dismay at the state of English football, and the alarming lack of talented youngsters coming through the ranks in professional clubs. Sir Trevor opened by looking at some of the major changes in youths since his time. Of course, with the age of the computer, the biggest difference is the activities modern youngsters take part in. “As a child,” he explained, “Every day after school, my mates and I would come home, grab a football and go up to the park for hours and hours. Even just this casual football, on a regular basis gave me the basic footballing skills I needed to build on later in my career”. He pointed out that the lack of football done by today’s youth at such a young age means that by the time they come to play for teams and competitively, youngsters just don’t have the necessary basic skills to be confident on the pitch. Sir Trevor pointed out that “few are born naturally able; it takes lots of practice from an early age. The amount of football I played as a youngster meant that when I came to play competitively, all the basics came naturally- it wasn’t a case of when the ball comes towards me thinking ‘how am I going to control this’, it was more ‘what am I going to do once I’ve controlled this’”. It is this small difference, he believes that will lead to youngsters being able to pick up more from an earlier age. This is one of the main arguments put forward in his case for a National Game Strategy (launched on the 18th March), which helps to structure football for youngsters, getting more children involved. It is not just a lack of practice though, which is hindering the emergence of ‘wonderkids’ in the beautiful game. Disrespect for officials is a problem needing to be addressed urgently. And it’s not just the players themselves in youth football which are generally the issue- parents on sidelines cause the most hassle for officials in youth football! Parents shouting abuse (or even conflicting advice to their children) from the sideline, Sir Trevor believes, intimidates the young players and drives them from the game. “At [Manchester] United, parents who wish to watch their children train in the academy must sign an agreement to keep totally silent. Only the coach may speak; and even then, only positive comments are made. This keeps the sport enjoyable for the player- this philosophy needs to be spread to grassroots football”. However, parents are generally those called upon to run youth football, which in turn causes more problems. There are five levels of coaching qualification in England; the highest of which enables the person to coach professional teams. Unfortunately, even lower level coaches are scarce, and there are very few of these specialists in youth football; more often than not, a team is run by a volunteering parent, or at school by a teacher not qualified to a high enough level in the sport (instead with general sporting qualifications). “The fact that these parents aren’t trained properly to coach means young players may not be being coached to a standard the FA would like. Indeed, a recent survey has shown that 50% of primary school leavers are physically illiterate. This doesn’t mean that these children are unable, they just haven’t been given the opportunities.” Part of Sir Trevor’s plan for English football is that there will be at least one specialist sports college in every county in the next few years- focussing especially on the 5-11 year olds, where the bulk of talent is discovered or lost through opportunities to shine. Moving on to talk about Fabio Capello’s management of the national team, Sir Trevor seemed optimistic. “[The FA] were distraught after the Croatia match; we were simply outclassed.” However, he believes the initial signs of Capello’s leadership are promising, and he should be able to get the maximum out of “a golden age for English football”. Despite not having an obvious first choice ‘keeper, Brooking feels we have a strong defensive unit in the England side, although “there is still a left side shortage, and a lack of attacking full backs… and strikers”. Even with these shortages though, Sir Trevor is still optimistic Capello has what it takes to win our first major tournament since 1966. He did point out though that the huge influx of foreign players into the English league is having a detrimental effect on the national side. “The Premier League

is very successful, but there are very few English players in the league. On the opening day of the 07/08 season, 220 players were on their various pitches, 81 were English”. Sir Trevor also stated that the quota system put in place by UEFA (that a set number of players in a squad in continental competitions must be ‘homegrown’- i.e. have played for an English club for 3 years between the age of 16-21). However, “the wealth of clubs now means that our top clubs are managing to get the best out of young players. Unfortunately, they are getting the best out of the best young players Europe has to offer. Clubs are meeting quotas, but because they are buying European players at such a young age, thus meeting the criteria”. Under UEFA’s critieria, Cesc Fabregas and co at Arsenal count as homegrown English players… “And because of the freedom of movement within the EU, there is little the FA can do, besides asking English clubs to voluntarily stop buying foreign youngsters. But this, they argue would make our teams less competitive with the likes of Barcelona and AC Milan”. When asked if foreigners in general were ruining the English game, Sir Trevor gave the answer that it isn’t all foreigners ‘ruining’ the game. “There are some outstanding foreigners who are benefiting the game no-end. But there are also some very average players, being brought over on high wages. These overpaid mistakes block chances for talented English players. Players are no longer ‘blooded’ into the team; they are thrown in and expected to make an instant impact. This lack of English first-teamers means that once a talent such as Wayne Rooney comes along and does make an impact, their fee is hugely inflated, simply because of the scarcity of young Englishman of first team standard”. A further challenge Sir Trevor pointed out was that of ensuring talented young players even have the chance to get into academies. The first step in getting players noticed is their club becoming FA Chartered. “Unfortunately, one of the requirements of this is to have a turnover of £20,000 a year; and whilst this is fine for clubs in affluent areas, which run teams at every age group, it is near-impossible for smaller clubs in deprived areas. This often means those players in the deprived areas are overlooked”. Sir Trevor made the point that when he was playing, 80% of players were from the working class; yet nowadays that is not the case; “two-thirds of the 2004 Athens Olympics Team GB were privately educated. This doesn’t necessarily mean that talent is disappearing from the working classes, just the opportunities are becoming fewer”. To end, Sir Trevor rounded off his initial points to give his underlying message. He stated that young footballers need to be nurtured and encouraged into the game from an early age, picking up the basic skills they need to improve before they are thrown into competitive football. Overall Sir Trevor believes that in order to get a strong England national side in the future, we need to act now, and to do that, we need to “Let youngsters enjoy their football, so they are happy to stay within the game!”

By David Halls, Sports Editor

Surrey Scorpions Succeed At South-East University Regionals


14th May 2008

‘Surrey Scorpions’ continued to be a nationally recognised name in the world of Ultimate on the first weekend in March, as the University’s Ultimate Frisbee team qualified for the National Second Division after impressing at the SouthEast Outdoor Regionals. Having been the 2nd placed team at Indoor Regionals in November; Surrey’s First team were similarly strong in the Outdoors game to finish the weekend in 6th place- securing a spot in the Nationals Second Division in York in May. The weekend started relatively casually for Surrey 1- ‘bagelling’ (the Frisbee equivalent of a clean sheet) Brunel, Kent and LSE’s Second teams; whilst reaching the points-cap of 11 in all three games. The Firsts’ first real challenge came in their fourth game on the Saturday when Holloway’s First team surprised Surrey to go 4-0 up early on. However, Surrey dug their heels in and stopped the scoring, to pull themselves back into the game- taking it to sudden death at the klaxon… Winning the match 6-5. Undoubtedly the match of the day came late Saturday afternoon, when Surrey 1 were to face Portsmouth’s Sublime. In a closely fought game, with long, tiring points Surrey and Sublime both played at the tops of their games. Some great defending from Surrey, combined with Sublime’s strong offence meant this would always be a close game. With the teams never more than a point apart; Sublime eventually broke the deadlock in an extremely long point in sudden death, to take the game 4-3.

Surrey Seconds were similarly strong during play on Sunday. Armed with a new zone play, the Seconds immediately put it into practice; putting 7 points past a LSE-UCL joint team. Despite scoring more than twice the total points they scored the previous day, the Seconds were still on the losing end, going down 9-7. However, the confidence gained from this game would see the Seconds go from strength to strength during the rest of the day. Facing a Roehampton team down to 6 players, Surrey 2 sportingly agreed to play with one less player as well. However, Surrey’s constant use of substitutions soon tired the Roehampton players and Surrey won the game 4-3.

Surrey 2’s penultimate game of the weekend was against Brunel 2; arguably one of the best Second teams at the event. Surrey dominated from the off, working their zonal marking perfectly. Indeed, the majority of the first few points entailed keeping the Brunel players pegged in their own endzone. Surrey worked their ‘cup’ defence extremely well, forcing the Bunel handlers into making mistakes, which Surrey’s offence then capitalised on. At the end of this gruelling match, Surrey Seconds came out on top with a 5-2 win. Finally then, Surrey 2 qualified for the Spoon playoff (to decide the best of the lowest ranked sides). In keeping with their constant improvement during the day, Surrey’s zone was the best it had been all weekend; and the Seconds soon reached the points cap against Holloway 2; which was perhaps a fitting reward for a team which had had 11 put past them so many times ranked 17th, Surrey Seconds, on the other hand, were less fortunate on Saturday than the and Spoon winners. during the tournament. The final score was 11-1 to Surrey Firsts- being on the receiving end of 11-0 defeats to the First teams of Sussex’s 2, who finished the weekend Mohawks, Kent Touch This and KCL’s ‘Thrown’. However; after this shaky start in one of the toughest groups, the Seconds notched up their first points of So on Sunday evening, the two Surrey teams returned to Guildford cold, the tournament in a well fought 6-3 defeat to Imperial College’s DiscDoctors tired and aching; but after a wholly successful weekend, that didn’t matter. 2. The Seconds’ opening day defeats meant that they would be spending the Surrey Firsts had qualified for the Nationals Second Division in May, and the next day fighting it out for 17th place out of the 21 teams present. Seconds had improved massively, which is all the more promising for next Surrey 1 started Sunday’s play in 5th, and with every chance of gatecrashing the qualifying places for Nationals. With yet another comfortable victory over Thrown’s Second team in the 5th-12th place playoff, Surrey 1 looked like doing just that. Then came a wake-up call for a Surrey side that had had a relatively easy start to the day on Sunday. Chichester were Surrey’s next opponents, and looked very strong from the off. Surrey couldn’t quite hold it together during the game, which, as well as some lucky hucks to their deeps from Chichester’s handlers knocked them down to 8th after an 8-2 defeat. This now meant Surrey 1 would have to win all of their remaining games just to qualify for Nationals Second Division. A relatively unexciting 9-2 win over UCL set Surrey 1 in their stead; meaning the 6th-7th place playoff would pit Surrey against Chichester once again. Chichester may well have been guilty of complacency due to their earlier win, as they decided to not warm up for the game whereas the Surrey Firsts were throwing around and getting prepared 30 minutes prior to the start of the game. Just this little difference seemed to be all Surrey needed to capitalise. After ‘turning over’ Chichester’s attack whilst on defence, Surrey managed to score a point whilst playing into the wind. So now Surrey would be on offence when playing with the wind. So long as each team scored when they were on offence, and there were no breaks in this continuity, Surrey would always be one point clear of Chichester and would take 6th place. After 45 hard-fought minutes, the game eventually went to sudden death extra time; with Surrey on offence. The Firsts scored that point and won the game; earning 6th place, and booking their spot in Nationals. year’s team!

The Scorpions travelled to York on the 3rd/4th of May, and successfully beat their seed- beginning the weekend ranked 11th out of 16 in Nationals Second Division, Surrey finished in 6th. This leaves them as the 22nd best University team in the UK, and caps off one of the club’s most successful years in its history
14th May 2008

Team Surrey 07- 08 Review



So, here we have it; another year gone, another successful year for sport at the University of Surrey. Here we have the season round-ups from a number of sports teams. A big thankyou to all who reported back on their season! Congratulations to all for a successful season.
Team: Archery team Season Review: 4 BUSA Medals, Champions of the South East of the United Kingdom and promotion to the National League top division. This was quietly achieved by the Recurve Archery Team this season. This was all made possible by first year revelation Matthew Sharpe (BUSA individual Bronze), returnee Barry Cottrell and regulars Matt Brown, MAC Edwards and talented but epically lazy Jamie Goodliffe. The success achieved by these gentleman this year is incomparable to achievements in the clubs long history. After committee shrinkage we all wish to thank Matt Brown & Laura Turnham for their amazing work, seemingly at times they were keeping us afloat single handed while still having time to study. 4 of the 5 senior team were also final years showing what can be done if you manage time well. We hope to build upon this success next year and will try to gain more indoor training time with UniSport as our 4 BUSA medals were won with an allocation of a only 3 ½ hours training time per week in the sports hall which is unheard of and probably even less than the team that came last. The novice team (Members who joined this year) had a good season and are quickly achieving scores close to the experiences archers. Lets look at the highlights. Probably the best moment was the feeling of surprise when we had our names called out at BUSA. The worst was also at BUSA when we were supplied a van with no locking doors. Not a problem but we were carrying over ten thousand pounds of archery equipment in it leaving it in varous public areas around York. However bad things got, we were always cheered up by Tom Wiblins, Tom can generate humour from thinnest of air. And now a quick word from the traditional archery section of the club, those that shoot medieval style longbows, traditional bows from Mongolia and Hungary, or just want to simply engage in some medieval cosplay. Field archery is the new love of the traditional archers - its basically simulated hunting, or rather golf with bows: running around woods and shooting at targets of penguins and 8 foot elephants (which were completely missed by everyone!). Unfortunately, Surrey isn’t as yet in any form of competition against other universities in a field archery league- something the club is looking to rectify. It isn’t only in the field archery that the surrey longbow/bare bow team has been making a name for themselves. Most notably on the 25th of November at the Brunel Open shoot each member of the team took home a medal: Laura Turnham the club’s new President taking 3rd in women’s longbow, Anthony Marchant taking 3rd in men’s longbow and Alex Reid 2nd, as well as Matt Cordwell taking 3rd in bare bow (no sights). We performed well at the BUSA indoors in York but unfortunately didn’t win any medals this time. We are at the moment training hard for a new season of field, as well as getting ready for the BUSA outdoor competition. Finally as Alex Reid is too modest to say it is worth adding that he broke the clubs longbow record recently by scoring a tremendous 3 times more than the previous record which puts him in danger of winning BUSA medals next year if he can keep up his training over the summer break. To all those not mentioned your contribution was felt and lets hope to see some different names in next year’s review. Have a great summer! Alexander Reid & Barry Cottrell Team: Boat Club League(s): Novice and Senior Men’s and Women’s Crews. Year achievements: We finished well in Reading Small boats regatta, Bristol Head of the river race, Henley regatta and various other Head races and regattas throughout the year. Best Moment of the Year: The Social Race that we hosted at Walton boat club with Queen Mary’s and St. Barts Colleges. Worst moment of the Year: Dann Boot’s ankle failing majorly during the boy’s Bristol race and him having to be lifted and carried out of the boat. Funniest moment of the Year: Mark’s incident with some duct tape and the Austin Pearce courtyard Statue or any of Stacy and Louise’s dancing at the union. Alternatively Phil’s (our coach) impressive bike stunt (over the handlebars and into the river) he did this year whilst coaching some of the boys at Guildford Boat Club. Men’s Rower of the Year: Stephen Batchelor Women’s rower of the year: Stacy Gwilliam Winner of the Phil Costen Cup (A club cup awarded by our coach for recognition of achievements): Louise Counsell Season review: A very good year for the boat club with our large increase in numbers allowing us to get some beautiful boats from the Union.

Team: Surrey Ballroom and Latin Dance team Best Moment of the Year: Dancing at the Empress ballroom in the Winter Gardens, Blackpool Season review: We have competed in two competitions this year where everyone on the team did fantastically well. The competitions were part of the university dance circuit where every couple gets to compete as an individual couple as well as representing their team. Although no one got placed as an individual couple everyone did very well in that they got through at least one heat of the dances. Considering we were competing against the likes of Oxford and Cambridge this is very good! The teams also did particularly well. Both teams got quite far in the team match at the Inter Varsity competition in Blackpool. Our team A however came 10th overall while representing Surrey. A huge congratulation to everyone for that! A special congratulations should go to one couple who competed in the ex student category for us, Sarah Tian and Eric Hao came 2nd and the Southern Universities competition and came 3rd overall at the Inter Varsity Comp. A very successful year for the dancing team, which we hope to continue next
Team: Surrey Angels Cheerleading Squad Cup(s) finish: Won 2nd place in Senior Pom dance at cheer competition in February. Best Moment of the Year: Winning 2nd place in the dance competition Funniest moment of the Year: Watching the Superbowl with the Surrey Stingers and attempting to spell out ‘New York Giants’ and failing miserably! Player(s) of the Year: Anneka Ridley (for being involved in every single fundraising activity for the squad and organising all the socials) Season review: This year has been a great one for the Angels with a 2nd place dance win as well as being asked to run cheerleading hen parties and birthday parties! The squad has grown again this year with lots of new freshers joining the squad. It is difficult to analyse the year when our National competition is not until July, but we hope to do extremely well in it and are working hard to try and maintain our National Champion status. Team: Commando Krav Maga League(s): None; they might be a tad dangerous! Best Moment of the Year: Getting set up! And also having a training session with the founder of CKM Worst moment of the Year: Getting scared that, after all the effort we put in to start the club, we might have ended up being shut down! (We clearly didn’t, so phew!) Funniest moment of the Year: We were doing groundwork (how to get someone off you when they’re choking you on the floor) and had one teeny wee guy choking a really big guy. The bigger guy did his move and the teeny guy fell about 2 inches onto his stomach... and completely winded him! Player(s) of the Year: Everyone Season review: It’s been hard work but we have a fantastic team spirit and training sessions never cease to be a laugh. We’ve all come a long way and made a lot of new friends too. We haven’t won anything (there was nothing to be won) but we’ve learned lots, had fun lots and we’d so win a competition if there was one! Team: Surrey Scorpions Ultimate Frisbee team Cups: University Indoor Regionals: Surrey 1st-2nd (Nationals qualifier), Surrey 2nd-7th (highest increase on initial seeding), Surrey 3rd-22nd University Women’s Indoor Regionals: 9th University Indoor Nationals: Surrey 1st-14th (14th in the country) University Mixed Indoor Regionals: 12th Slingfest Open: Surrey 1st-3rd, Surrey 2nd-8th, Surrey 3rd-12th Roehampton Open: Surrey 1st-4th, Surrey 2nd-9th (Plate winners) Aye Aye Open: 6th University Outdoor Regionals: Surrey 1st-6th (Nationals Div 2 qualifier), Surrey 2nd-17th (Spoon winners) University Women’s Outdoor Nationals: 14th University Outdoor Nationals Second Division: Surrey 1st-6th (22nd in the cou

Team: Surrey Stags Cricket team League(s): Indoor Guildford Cricket league Final Position: 2nd

14th May 2008

Cup(s) finish: BUSA indoor cricket tournament (last 8 in Britain) Best Moment of the Year: Winning the BUSA regional indoor competition at Eastleigh, Southampton with a weakened side punching way above our weight. Worst moment of the Year: Just failing to qualify for the BUSA indoor finals losing narrowly to Bournemouth University therefore missing the opportunity to play at Lords and the home of Cricket. Funniest moment of the Year: “we’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain!” (Wise Crangle, 2007); “When you put a group of men together who all have the same goal there is nothing that can stop them!”(Coombs (Dallaglio, 2007)); Crazy turning up hammered to the first indoor match of the season. Player(s) of the Year: Chris Coombs Season review: Although our main outdoor season is yet to get started commencing after Easter a lot of highs have already occurred in the indoor section. Entering the local Guildford indoor league for the first time, and finishing a superb 2nd position in the top league must be mentioned, with Chris Coombs topping the batting and bowling averages. Furthermore, taking a depleted side down to Eastleigh, Southampton for the Regional BUSA Indoor Round and qualifying for the Southern Round- narrowly missing out to Bournemouth University for the chance to play at Lord’s. Rich Linney’s and Al Short’s batting during the BUSA matches must be given special praise. Well done to everyone who has participated in winter training and fixtures and I look forward to attempting to secure promotion for the 1st and 2nd XI teams this summer.

Team: Fencing League(s): BUSA Mens Division 1 South-East Final Position: 6th Best Moment of the Year: Winning on the last day of the season to avoid relegation Worst moment of the Year: Going into Christmas without a win in the league Funniest moment of the Year: Too many to mention! Travelling to away matches on the tube with non stop banter between Mike, Dave and Martin Player(s) of the Year: Kosuke Jisho and Dave Morgan Season review: The season was always going to be about maintaining Division 1 status. Our experienced captain from the past two years had graduated leaving returning team member Martin Pezet to take up the captaincy. The season started poorly with a disappointing run of results, however a few changes and a lot of training later the tide began to turn. Performance of the year goes to our international star Ko who kept the team alive in many matches and also to Welsh fencer Dave whose all-round performances and vice-captaincy led to some great results. Finally two home wins secured our status in Division 1 for another season and excellent prospects for 2008/09.
14th May 2008
Team: Mens Football 1st Team League(s): BUSA (2A) & GWAFL (Premier Division) Final Position: BUSA 4th & GWAFL – 1st

Team: Men’s Football 2nd Team League(s): BUSA-5A- 3rd & GWAFL- 3rd


Cup(s) finish: County Cup- Quarter Final & League Cup- 1st Round Best Moment of the Year: Great results against Royal Holloway (1-0) and Brighton (3-3 on a 3G pitch) in the BUSA league and superb performances against Holmbury St Mary’s (6-0) and Best Moment of the Year: Winning 2-0 away at St. Mary’s in BUSA Burpham (2-0) as well as a last minute 1-0 win away at Milford in the GWAFL league. Worst moment of the Year: A host of absences meant an inexperienced first team lost Worst moment of the Year: having the BUSA title in our 3-0 away to Chichester in BUSA. Whilst a 3-2 defeat away vs Bourne in GWAFL, coincidently hands and losing it in the last 3 games. after the beach party night at the union, blew the title race wide open Funniest moment of the Year: Getting offered out by an Funniest moment of the Year: Whilst travelling away to Addlestone the co- Alan Carr look-a-like at St. Mary’s after beating them. Hilarious! captains realised that they had forgotten footballs, bibs and cones when the boys were already Season review: For BUSA, it all started so successfully with 4 wins and in Addlestone. Fortunately, however, this resulted in an amusing turn of events. Deciding to 4 draws out of the first 8 games leaving us with only 4 points needed purchase some new balls from a local shop, there was the usual banter that the general public from the remaining 2 games to win the league. We then proceeded to experience on Surrey away days, however, our anonymous driver decided to spice things up that lose both games, albeit against stronger opposition than expected (given day. Whilst on the search for new balls we were forced to make a u-turn. However, instead of the nature of BUSA in the latter stages, which sees better players play for making a simple u-turn like any normal driver, ours decided to go down a side alley. Now let’s say lower teams if they have no games scheduled). Looking back we will rue the minibus is 6’1” wide, well this alley was 6’2” ft wide and next door to a Chinese restaurant. the draws away at Reading and home to Brighton, where we outplayed All the staff from the Chinese were watching in astonishment. Remember that scene in Austin Team: Women’s Football Powers when he’s trying to turn that vehicle? Well, multiply that by 10 and that was us. Anyway, after these exploits we thought we’d better get to the ground and forget about the balls!! League(s): South Eastern Conference Women’s 2A Final Position: 5th Season review: The BUSA season looked promising from the outset as a new coaching set up had the boys fully prepared from the word go. However, after conceding last minute goals Best Moment of the Year: Winning our first two games in each of the first three games, the boys found themselves with 2 points from a possible 9. beating Kingston and Royal Holloway with a completely new team! Fortunately, the season did take a turn for the better and after good results against Roehampton Worst moment of the Year: Losing the next four games in a row away and in particular Royal Holloway at home, the boys finished in a respectable 4th place with especially the Reading one which we should have won!! a total of 15 points. This will be remembered as the BUSA season of what could have been as the team showed so much potential, playing wonderful football at times, but was made to pay for Funniest moment of the Year: Shidz chasing after the a slow start to the campaign. Roehampton team who tried to nick our corner flag. Unlike the BUSA season, the season in the GWAFL Saturday league started very strongly with Player(s) of the Year: Rosie “Velcro” Hill the first team going unbeaten in their first 12 matches, giving them a healthy lead at the top of Most improved: Rebecca “Irish Bert” Donoghue the table. However, a couple of bad results, notably a 3-2 defeat away at Bourne and a 0-0 draw Season review: It was a mixed bag really. At crucial times our squad at home against relegation battlers Bedfont blew the title race wide open. Fortunately, the team wasn’t big enough to cope. But then we have seen amazing progress managed to pull off a 2-0 win away at fellow title contenders Burpham to help ensure Surrey with players, which is really encouraging for next season. So would retained their title. encourage anyone one who is interested no matter what skill ability to come along next year and join us whether on the pitch or at our Team: Men’s Hockey 1st Team socials! League: BUSA 3A & Surrey Open Hockey League Division 2 Final Position: BUSA- 2nd & SOHL- 8th Best Moment of Year: Richard ‘Jonny’ Briggs scoring a goal against Richmond in the last minute to draw the game and to stop relegation. Also, it was the best goal of the season! Worst Moment of the Year: Just falling short of winning our BUSA league by a couple of points, after losing to Brighton. Funniest Moment of the Year: Laurie Humphrey running head first into a hockey goal post on a warm up lap, because he got ‘distracted’ by the women’s football game on the other pitch. Players of the Year: voted Players’ Player- Simon Toms, voted Most Improved- Luke Cooper, voted Captain’s Player- Russel Odendaal Season Review: The season started well with good results in both of the leagues, however with the restructuring of the surrey open league, some teams started to prove too strong for us, that said we finished the season with some good results against good teams. In the BUSA league we fought hard to win all but two games which were against the same team, they were just better than us on the day. The squad as a whole has come on leaps and bounds, and with a highly qualified coach joining the setup next year, we hope to win our BUSA league and be contenders for promotion in Division 2. Team: Men’s Hockey 2nd Team League: BUSA 5A & Surrey Open Hockey League Division 4 Final Position: BUSA- 6th & SOHL- 12th Best Moment of Year: Beating local rivals Guildford Worst Moment of the Year: Losing 4 key players to injury in the BUSA game against Bedfordshire. Funniest Moment of the Year: The look on the faces of Reading after being destroyed in a post-game boat race. Players of the Year: voted Players’ Player- Crouch, voted Most Improved- Todd, voted Captain’s Player- Josh Season Review: This season has been a very tough one for the Surrey Men’s Hockey 2nd team. Coming off the back of promotion last year the team found it hard to get into winning form. Unfortunately as soon as the wins starting coming so did the injuries, putting captain Todd in a tough spot as far as selecting teams went. At no point though did the team lose spirit and all players were sad to see the season end.

Final Position: Cup(s) finish: County Cup- 3rd Round & Intermediate Cup- Winners
Team: Surrey Ladies Hockey 1st Team League: BUSA 4A and Surrey Ladies Hockey League Division 6 Final Position: BUSA- 5th & Surrey- 8th Best Moment of Year: Match against Reading when we were losing 2-0 with 10 minutes to go and we won 3-2. It was a turning point in the season, which led to a winning streak of four matches. Worst Moment of the Year: Losing heavily to London Wanderers and then getting stuck in traffic for three hours in London, when the journey should only have taken 45 minutes. Funniest Moment of the Year: Turning up 25 minutes late to an away game with hung-over players, having no umpire for the match or goalkeeper for the first five minutes. Players of the Year: voted Players Player- Kat Rattle, voted Most Improved- Jaegar Maher, voted Captain’s Player- Mia Nolan Season Review: The season began with only 5 permanent players and a difficult first few matches. However as the season progressed so did the team with new players ranging from all abilities. As the team started to bond, results started to improve, ending the BUSA season with a 6-0 hammering of Royal Holloway. It’s a shame the season had to end so soon.


14th May 2008

The Equestrian Club End of Season Report
Joanne Bass, Equestrian Club Captain This year has been quite a successful year for the club as a whole. We have had a number of beginners trying out the sport for the first time some of whom lasted a bit longer than others, but all saying they enjoyed the experience. A few people have returned to the sport after a number of years and after getting back into the saddle wondered why they had ever stopped. Finally there were number of people who have ridden regularly for many years. They have all enjoyed their time in the club riding different horses, and learning new things. The club has always met once a week on a Wednesday afternoon to go riding at Old Park Stables and this year was no exception. Lessons have involved instruction in the disciplines of dressage and show jumping at all levels. This year the club has also enjoyed a couple of mounted games afternoons, and an afternoon out hacking when the schools were too flooded to ride in. The club is looking forward to a fun competition at the end of the semester which will include fancy dress, dressage to music, and pairs show jumping. Prizes will also be awarded to a number of people in the club for their commitment and dedication to student riding. During the latter part of the last semester Carl moved yards to Willow Farm Stud, Chobham where he has bigger and better facilities. It is a lovely yard and the club looks forward to taking full advantage of all the fantastic facilities next year. For the first time ever in the history of the club we set a date for an Equestrian Club holiday in Wales. Four members of the club including myself, Jennifer Raymond, Whitney King, and Mia Benjamin spent 2 days over the Easter holidays riding in the Welsh countryside with Trans Wales Trails. The evenings were spent down the pub with the RAF who were there on an adventure week. We all had a great time, and luckily the weather was kind and the sun shone. I am sure there will be another Equestrian Club holiday next year. This year the club fielded two teams to the BUSA fixtures. The A Team consisting of Jennifer Raymond, Laura Scorse, Sarah Huntley, and Sarah Dallyn competed in the Championship League. They managed to win their home competition with Hazel King having to stand in at last minute due to injury from Sarah Huntley. Unfortunately they weren’t so successful in the other competitions. The B Team consisting of myself, Emma Wilkinson, Mia Benjamin, and Whitney King competed in the Trophy League and had a very successful season. We won two of our competitions, came second in one and third in the other, ending the League matches on the most points and therefore

qualifying for Regionals. Unfortunately we were not so successful at the Regionals and so narrowly missed out on a place at the Nationals. As a club we have also enjoyed many socials this year including; ice skating, bowling, numerous pub crawls, race nights, pizza nights, pub eventing, and trips to Olympia London and the British Open at the NEC. I would like to thank all of the committee members for all their help this year. Jennifer Raymond – Vice Captain, Laura Scorse – BUSA Rep, Amanda Palmer – Treasurer, Sarah Huntley – Social Sec, and Vicky Ledger – Secretary. I would also like to thank the other club members for their support throughout the year, and wish next years committee all the best.
14th May 2008

Football Seconds



Team: Rich ‘The Sieve’ Knell, Chris ‘Mucky’ Mcdermott, Pet ‘The Animal’ Pengelly, Luke ‘The Hitman’ Warren, Joe ‘The Virgin’ Armfield, Kim ‘The Scuzz’ Jones, Paul ‘The Pouter’ Mann, Yousuf ‘The Beast’ Al Ani, Jamie ‘The Hairband’ Bucanan, Jim ‘The Fish’ Salmon, Mark ‘The Fish’ Shrimpton, Subs: Jon ‘The Power’ Creswick, Chris ‘The Actor’ Reed, Sam ‘Bobby Hill’ Lucas Gordon, Ben ‘The Tightknit’ Pudney

Battle Of Westfield
By Chris Thomas

From the Battle of Britain to the Battle of Waterloo, from Falklands to Normandy our country has seen some fine encounters in its long, proud history but none have had the Some tactical inspiration saw Chris Reed ‘The Actor’ being brought on to replace entertainment, passion, strategy and desire of the recent Battle of Westfield. The date Shrimpo up top. This introduction pleased the Collins WAGs in the crowd no end was 23rd April 2008, ironic as this date is normally associated with two of England’s due to the dashing good looks of the international finest heroes, not only St. Georges Day playboy. The ferocity of the battle continued but also the anniversary of the birth and with Mucky and Tightknit picking up bookings death of William Shakespeare. Surrey for snipering down their right-winger because of were hoping they would see the creation his clown feet. The Sieve pulled off an instinctive of their own hero on this day. On one ‘Warren style jab’ save from point blank range to side; Surrey, the favourites of this battle keep Surrey level and Gordon did well to create an due to their fitness and rare mix of opening before seeing his shot come back off the bar. youth, experience and commitment. On The last chance on goal fell to Mucky who found the other; Oatlands, the underdog with himself in space after carrying the ball over the half nothing to lose and everything to prove. way line. He ate up the space before unleashing a The prize was not only the illustrious thunderous drive that forced the keeper into a good League Cup trophy, but also the pride save. The full time whistle went and the scores were of Surrey. Captains Scuzz and Sieve had level so the game went into extra time. not only their reputations on the line, but also their lives. Surrey’s soldiers were now dropping like flies with the northern ‘hardman’ Kim going down more often Surrey were mentally and physically than Jack White in a Thai brothel! Surrey dominated extra time but couldn’t find an prepared for the game. The pre-match press conferences and photos, including attacking edge and the game ended one all – onto penalties! some outrageous pouting from Paul Mann, were over, the crowd, including Surrey’s notorious firm; the Polishers, were in good voice and the management team, led by It has been said in battle that a shootout really separates the men from the boys and general Foley, had the team tactically prepared. this was applicable on this occasion. Surrey’s knights in shining armour were Sam, The battle started tentatively with both sides unwilling to take any unnecessary risks, Kim, Pudney, Mucky and Luke. unlike the team’s top scorer, Jim Salmon, whose attitude to risk is summarised by his favourite saying “condoms are for dumb-dumbs”. Unfortunately, quicker than First up were Oatlands though and clown boots hit a low hard shot but Sieve pulled Armfield lasts in the sack, Surrey lost a header in the middle of the park and the off a miraculous save to keep it out. The next 8 penalties were scored, even though Oatlands striker was closing in on goal. Surrey’s stalwart defender Pet tried to tame Pudney’s squeezed through the keepers grasp tighter than Armfield’s...actually, never the speedy attacker but could only bring him down in the area. Penalty to Oatlands. mind! The scenario gave Mucky the chance to give Surrey victory, and he did with Surrey were praying their inspirational leader, the man they had looked up to all great confidence. What followed was a bundle of epic proportions involving 20 men season, their potential saviour and the self proclaimed ‘playboy of Surrey football’: and an average weight of 12 stone. In the Persian Gulf War, 51% of deaths were due the Sieve, could pull off a save. He couldn’t. The penalty was dispatched and it was to friendly fire and unfortunately this bundle resulted in a bloody mouth for Stone, 1-0 Oatlands! ironically the physio for the day and a broken rib for manager Foley, although there are rumours that he broke his rib for other purposes having seen a clip of the adult As with any battle, there are casualties, unfortunately for Surrey, Al-Ani’s game was cut version of YouTube the night before! short due to a shin injury and he was replaced (after some technical issues regarding the team sheet) by Ben Pudney....or was it Burnand? However, on the plus side, Surrey fully deserved this win through hard work and determination alone and Surrey quickly retaliated from going 1-0 down with one of the goals of the season. emphasised the Surrey slogan of ‘win the individual battles and you will win the Super Sub Tight knit Pudney cushioned the ball really war!’ softly, like his hair becomes after being chemically straightened, skinned one man and sent a curling shot into the top corner from all of 30 yards! 1-1 going into the break Man of the match: Everyone worked their socks off but I thought the back four were with not much separating the sides. especially solid so the man of the match goes to Mucky for a good performance and having the bottle to score the last penalty.

After an extended team talk and some wise words from Jack White; the self-proclaimed ‘grandfather of Surrey football’ and Jack Costello; the self proclaimed ‘hardman of Surrey football’, the second half was underway. The cagey affair continued from the first half with both sides limited to half chances. Surrey thought they had a break through when Shrimpo, one half of the Shrimp-Salmon fishy attack, had a goal chalked off for offside after a good knock down from Paul Mann. Salmon also became a victim of war after he was forced off with a calf injury and replaced by Sam Gordon, who had taken the night off from the King of the Hill show. Salmon was so gutted to be leaving through injury that his screams of despair were so loud Buca’s mum claimed she could hear it in Newcastle whilst she was dying her hair ginger. The off the field banter continued with The Polishers giving it to the old grannies in the Oatlands firm but swiftly ended with the social sec’s ‘Barry White’ being asked to leave the ground for being too intoxicated, no surprise there!
Join the Sponsored Runs and support the Surrey Centre for Sport Campaign BUPA Great Capital Run – 10km – 20 July 2008 BUPA Great South Run – 10 miles - 26 October 2008 Hogs Back – 10 miles – 14 December 2008 As many of you know our University has just embarked on a £35 million project to build a world-class sport centre. It will be the best in the region and it’s for us – the students, post graduates the staff and the community. Work is already underway with completion planned at the end of 2009 so many of us already here will benefit. The centre is for all of us whether you’re competitive, keeping fit or just being healthy. There will be something there for everyone! When it comes to sport, this amazing project will really put this University on the map and will give the likes of Loughborough and Bath a run for their money when it comes to elite facilities. As anyone who’s used the current facilities knows, they’re a bit out dated to say the least. Over the past 40 years, they’ve endured a lot of wear and tear and seen the student body increase from 2,000 to over 12,000! The new state-of- the -art facilities will still have favourites like the climbing wall and sports halls, but will also include a 50m, 8-lane swimming pool; flood-lit tennis courts; rugby/football pitches; and many more fitness machines (you can find a full list of facilities at www.surreycentreforsport. £35 million is a lot of money and just because the project has begun, it doesn’t mean that there still isn’t fundraising work left to do, which is where the sponsored runs come in. The Warden of Colours, Professor Ian Kitchen, has made a commitment to run all three and would like as much student support as possible. We students now have an opportunity to ensure the project is a success and take ownership of our new sports centre; even if we are personally skint we can still support this! Maybe running’s not your thing, but if every single student sponsored one of the runners for as little as the cost of a pint, we’d raise over £36,000! This is for us. So let’s get involved. If you need any help on your day to day training programme, or to get sponsorship forms, or if you need any other information, visit www.

14th May 2008

Surrey Archers Win 5 BUSA Medals
By Barry Cottrell

After winning the regional league (SEAL) with an average score that put Stag Hill Archers in with the country’s best, some form of success at BUSA was expected. After finishing 9th last year, just outside of the BUSA points positions we were hopeful of improvements on last year’s performance. With this in mind we headed up to the University of York to find out for certain.

points in the process. Matthew Sharpe, Barry Cottrell, Matt Brown & Mac Edwards made up the team and collected their bronze BUSA medals. Matthew became the first male Surrey Recurve archer ever to win a BUSA medal, and we became the first Surrey Recurve team to medal at BUSA. To put this achievement into perspective, Matthew drew on score with a GB international archer, while as a team we defeated established clubs with facilities we can only dream of.

With a record turnout of at least 500, the competition would be tough- running over 3 sessions during the day. The favourites were, as always, Edinburgh University with It’s impossible to thank everyone by name, but the organisers did a wonderful job Warwick also showing good form. It was never going to be easy; as some top archers and the Surrey team showed again that something special is happening in our little don’t have time for Regional competitions, and only have time for the big tournaments! club. A special thank-you should also go to Matthew Brown for his role as team coordinator for this event. Roll on BUSA Outdoors! The competition lasted for five hours and was energy sapping. Especially as knowing you are in with a shot of achieving something increases the pressure. We knew roughly how we were doing and what was needed from us. No-one wanted to be the person ‘letting the team down’. Strength, skill and concentration had to be maintained until the last arrow was shot. We were all exhausted but would not give up. Only once has a score of 580 out of 600 not won the Gentlemens’ Open title. Surrey Archer Matthew Sharpe had finished with a monumental personal best of 583. He had surely finished at the sharp end and had to wait what seemed an age for the final results to be announced. The first words announced were: “With a tie score, but losing out on 10’s; of Surrey University: Matthew Sharpe...”. He had finished 3rd. We only had to wait a little longer until the hotly-contested team results were read out. We caught the words “Surrey...”. And, for the first time ever, as a team of 4, we had finished in 3rd place, winning a good share of BUSA
14th May 2008

Olympic ‘Opefuls



By David Halls, Sports Editor

cycling and rowing) are the two that have top class coaching set-ups, selected on merit, with top training facilities to match. These are sports we, as a nation, With this, the last barefacts of the year, I felt it would be fitting to look succeed in because of, not despite the infrastructure provided for them. forward to many sporting events taking part this summer. Whilst it is true that not a single side from the Home Nations will be taking part in the European Looking at the trends of the dominant nations at the Olympics over the last Football Championships in Austria/Switzerland in June, Britain’s best chance three Games, it is possible to estimate who will come out on top this summer. of sporting success will come in the form of the XXIX Olympiad (the 29th After taking 44 golds at Atlanta 1996, followed by 39 in Sydney, and ‘just’ 35 Olympic Games to you and I) in Beijing, China in August. in Athens, the USA still remain the best overall Olympians on the planet, but their dominance may be coming to an end. China, having taken 16 golds in There has been plenty of funding and progress into the development of ’96, took 28 in Sydney, and 32 in Athens. This great improvement, along with British Sport since Athens 2004; indeed, since the announcement that London the “home-town advantage” the Chinese will gain from hosting the Olympics, will host the 30th Games in 2012, there has been seemingly more funding and don’t be surprised if they top the medals table this summe interest in involvement in sports. The times ahead really do look promising for sporting youngsters in Britain, and it is entirely feasible that this small group of islands will be able to hold their own against the sporting superpowers of Australia, USA, Russia and China when the Olympics come to Britain. Just looking at the promise of young diver Tom Daley (set to become the second youngest British Olympian ever this summer), who aged just 13, should keep the medals rolling in for many years to come! But for now the focus is on the present; and that still holds plenty of promise for Team GB this summer. Following Team GB’s success at last month’s Cycling World Championships in Manchester, Britain can safely be classed as one of (if not the) best in the world in the sport. The only doubt that can be risen about Britain’s status as the outright best is the similar recent success of Australia at the Commonwealth Games. There are 10 Track golds up for grabs at the Olympics and, assuming no injuries, Team GB should be favourites in at least six of them; if not all events! Chris Hoy is the current World Champion in the Men’s Sprint and Keirin events, with Great Britain the reigning champions of the Team Pursuit and Madison events. Bradley Wiggins is took the World Championship gold in Individual Pursuit, whilst Victoria Pendleton and Rebecca Romero are the champions of the Women’s Sprint and Individual Pursuit events, respectively. Whilst Britain aren’t as strong on the Road or BMX events as they are on the Track, it is still proof that funding into sports, managed in an effective way works. It is no surprise that the two sports Britain genuinely excels in (track

Image courtesy of the International Olympic Committee

Shotokan Karate Club Year Review
by Brendan Frehill This year saw us reduced to just one training session per week but not at the cost of some enthusiastic new members. With new black belt members including Alex and Nick we were never short of instructors to guide our new hopefuls. With complete novices to the Japanese martial art to those already having several gradings under their belt (pun intended) gradings were several throughout the year. These included Katy (yellow belt), Nicola (green belt), Eleanor (orange belt), Tony (yellow belt) and Brendan (green belt). The karate club would like to congratulate its newest members on their achievements and introduction to the world’s oldest martial arts. For those leaving us this year (one very determined member comes to mind!!) best of luck in the future and we look forward to welcoming some new faces in September.
40 THIS IS THE END ........
14th May 2008

To lighten your day up, enjoy the lighter side of sport! Here are some facts you might not know .....

• If you were to shade in the solid letters of every league football team in England (e.g. a, b, d, e, g); then Hull City would be the only team with no shading! • Arsenal are the only team in the top five tiers of English football not named after a geographical location (as the Woolwich Arsenal is no-longer in existence). • More than 1,800 medals are awarded at the Olympics. • According to the Unofficial Football World Championships (assuming whoever beats the current unofficial World Champion takes the title; ongoing since the first international match between England and Scotland in 1872); Greece are the current World Champion

• The smallest nation ever to reign is the Netherlands Antilles, who beat Mexico on 24 March 1963- before losing the title to Costa Rica 4 days later. • The United Kingdom has never provided a winner of the Tour de France. • Ireland have not won the Six Nations in 24 yearsequalling France’s record 24 tournaments without a championship. • After winning last year’s World Cup, Germany’s Women’s Football National Team became the first women’s side to win the tournament

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