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DISCIPLINE

TO THE

DESIGN
OF THE

CHILD
By Jody Capehart

Last updated on January 12, 2011
Always check back here for updates

First published in 1995
© 1995-2011 Jody Capehart

The publisher and author reserve all rights under International Copyright Law. Contents
may not be reproduced in whole or in part for the purpose of being sold or used for profit or
financial gain in any form or substance or on any website or in any material with the express
written consent of the publisher/author. Normal copyright laws apply. Any excerpt or
portion used must give full credit to the author/publisher.

Discipline to the Design of the Child 2

TABLE of CONTENTS
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Preface (newly updated from original)

Discipline as a Training Process

Discipline in Light of God’s Word

Discipline and Personality Profiles
Controlling Carl
Happy Hannah
Peaceful Phil
Perfectionist Patty

Discipline to the Modalities of the Child
Visual Vi
Auditory Audrey
Tactual Ted
Kinesthetic Ken
The Kinesthetic Continuum

Discipline to the Learning Styles
C.S. Lewis (Concrete Sequential)
A.S. Aryssa (Abstract Sequential)
A.R. Harvey (Abstract Random)
C.R. Cindy (Concrete Random)

Discipline Tips for the Environment

Teacher Temperament Tendencies and Discipline
Fun Loving Mrs. Folsom
Do It Right, Mr. Wright
Mr. Iron Will Wilson
Ms. ‘Go With the Flow’ Moe

Parenting Personalities
Happy Hannah Parent
Perfectionist Patty Parent
Controlling Carl Parent
Peaceful Phil Parent

© 2011 Jody Capehart, The School Whisperer

Discipline to the Design of the Child 3

The Ds Discipline

Conclusion

Stay Connected with Jody

© 2011 Jody Capehart, The School Whisperer

Discipline to the Design of the Child 4

Preface

This book was originally published in 1995 with my dear friends Dr. Mark and
Susan Yelderman. They believed in my idea that a major missing piece in most parents‘
and teachers‘ approach to discipline is an understanding of the unique makeup of each
child and how their design affects how we discipline them.

For years, this was one of my most popular books and has remained a topic I am
asked to speak on more often than any other. So I am pleased to bring it back to you and
offer it as a FREE GIFT. Pass it along to friends, family, and colleagues (and maybe that
teacher or parent whom you think could really use it!).

Sixteen years later, I still stand behind every word here and only made a few
minor adjustments where appropriate. Of course, there is more to say on the topic, just as
there was when I first wrote it. My original intent with this book was to build upon it in
subsequent books, which I have done in both my writing and in my speaking. If you are
interested in learning more, you can visit my list of speaking topics and book me to speak
at your school, church, or MOPS group; or you can visit my store on my website to see
which book best addresses your needs: http://www.jodycapehart.com/store

Blessings to you as you work with those wonderful children who will grow up
under your guidance, love, and discipline to take care of future generations of children.

© 2011 Jody Capehart, The School Whisperer

dismissed or disregarded. character was the cornerstone of our culture. rather pricey. Unfortunately. what I have seen over and over again with discipline is that what works with one child does not always work with another. The dictionary says that discipline is a branch of learning and also a training that develops self-control. children perceive that you are 'mean'. Discipline to the Design of the Child 5 DISCIPLINE AS A TRAINING PROCESS You‘re sitting down after a hard week to relax at a favorite.e. Once upon a time we knew that manners mattered. much to your chagrin. talking and texting on their phones completely oblivious to the chaos their tribe is inflicting upon what had been a calm. there they are. A whirlwind of activity flies by you and nearly knocks your meal off your perfectly decorated table. That is the rub. They can be trained by rewarding good behavior. It is the owners © 2011 Jody Capehart. those children who do not respond the way we want are wrongly labeled ‗bad. But.‖ More often than not. rather it was by definition. a gaggle) of children whooping it up as if they were at a playground. a delight we developed in our homes. "Son. as adults. more-than-likely overwhelmed couple. schools. As adults. we administer discipline on the periphery with the goal that the child will learn to develop it within him or herself. You'll just have to be good for nothing. Looking around. Puppies and children are a lot alike. If you are strict. you see a family (or perhaps. Therefore. you look around to see if you can assist the dear. he ends up fixing the owner. not the dog. And this not your basic family-style restaurant either. restaurant and suddenly there is an explosion of noise. what or what can we do to get it back? Discipline is a training process.‘ We must stop this. i. When you discipline them. a father said. As adults we know this. we can't afford to reward you for your good behavior. The School Whisperer . wondering what happened. and society. beautiful meal. whether we are parents or teachers. Discipline wasn‘t to be debated. we must constantly remind ourselves of the importance of true discipline: as a discipleship process. During the Great Depression. and yet often we need to be reminded of what discipline is in its true form. says. Was it a fairy tale? Did it really happen? Were we dreaming? Did it exist? If yes. aka the Dog Whisperer. Approaching discipline from a place of understanding both the child‘s unique personality type as well as remembering that the discipline process takes time. However. they perceive it as punishment. adults can become less afraid of and exhausted by discipline and begin to see its positive effect on their children or students.." Joking aside. creating self- control. Thinking an emergency must have occurred with the parents. children see discipline as punishment. and I train people. Cesar Millan. ―I rehabilitate dogs. and respect was regarded as ‗regular‘ behavior. You nearly jump out of your seat.

After all. though. That is not what this book is about. Discipline to the Design of the Child 6 who do not understand the basic needs and psychology of the dog who have issues. The School Whisperer . You will be able to reach not only the ‗good‘ and ‗easy‘ children or those most like yourself. afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. discipline is often the most challenging part of dealing with children. "Thank you for this discipline because I know that from it I am getting the peaceful fruit of righteousness. It is my prayer that this book will provide some practical tips to encourage and equip you to be more effective in your discipline with children – and to put an end to the exasperation! DISCIPLINE IN LIGHT OF GOD'S WORD The scripture that most speaks to my heart in light of discipline is Hebrews 12:11 from the New American Standard: ―All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful. Even better. Yet to those who have been trained by it. you did not feel close to before. forgetting to understand the unique personalities and learning styles of their children and students. but sorrowful. The result is exasperation – for the adult and for the child. because of previous discipline issues.‖ What we want them to realize is © 2011 Jody Capehart. you will see tremendous progress in the child‘s ability to follow those universal guidelines. There are many great guidelines for discipline that any parent or teacher should incorporate into their home or classroom. you will grow closer to a young one who. The same is true for parents and teachers who only try one method of discipline. rather than see them all as one-in-the-same." Some other scriptures for you to look at include: Proverbs 12: 1 Proverbs 6:23 Proverbs 10:17 Hebrews 12:5-7 Let's face it. This is not to say that there aren‘t certain universal rules of discipline that can and should be adopted. If you do this. This book is concerned with helping you rethink your approach to each and every individual child. who wants to discipline? For many teachers and parents. but you will be able to understand how to work with each child and every issue that comes your way. a child does not say.

Once we view discipline as a process. then our attitude about it changes. We need to back up our love with tough love. We want to learn to respond in the power of the Holy Spirit. maturity. Discipline to the Design of the Child 7 that discipline is training. which is often tough love. we could go on to other. we become less stressed about every single interaction of disciplining the child. children need love. "If you just love the children and the Lord. The School Whisperer . we realize that we need to provide more. Discipline issues are often a primary contributor to people quitting the teaching profession. DOMINANCE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT We understand how the power of the Holy Spirit operates in our teaching. and well- being. an on-going process meant for their benefit. DEMONSTRATE THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST We need to demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ. DEDICATE OUR DISCPLINE TO THE GLORY OF GOD This is our launching pad. we still continue disciplining the children. Sometimes we just want to be so gentle and kind." Yes. We want to dedicate our discipline to the glory of God. From there we can move on to specifics concerning discipline and personalities. but we always love them. more interesting experiences with children. But when we work with children. We must learn these principles of discipline so that we can be effective in our teaching as well. but you've got to back it up with tough love. then that's all you need. and we hope that is all we need. One of the ways that we can tangibly see this is when a child has 'punched our buttons' because. But even when we master the techniques. © 2011 Jody Capehart. Often it feels like if we could just master discipline. and each of us has to learn about discipline in our own way. when any child punches our buttons and we react. and we begin to appreciate the small steps being taken in the right direction. We provide discipline on the outer so the child can learn principles of self-discipline on the inner. and they need to know it. When I first began to teach I thought. we are in the flesh. We may not like the children every moment of every day. but now we want to look at its impact on our discipline. It never ends because we never become perfect – which we need to remind the children of from time to time so they understand that everyone makes mistakes.

and two are more INTROVERT. We are combinations of these personality-temperament types. Myers-Briggs. and others. we begin to see why certain combinations become more people-oriented and others become even more task-oriented. The DISC model is very helpful in understanding personalities because it gives you this piece of information: Two of the personality types are more EXTROVERT. One of the products is the one below which has the DISC instrument developed by Ken Voges. and a love languages ‗test‘ in as well. There are common denominators in each system and so I have provided names for children along with descriptors to help you remember. knowing certain generalities leads to a better understanding of yourself and. and each person is a unique blend. I have also given you the names a few of the popular systems as well to help you better understand personalities. a learning styles inventory developed by me. But there are some consistencies that help us to better see and understand ourselves and our tendencies. There is the DISC. So even though no one person looks exactly like their closest match on any one particular personality test. when we begin to deal with COMBINATIONS of personalities. Ken has DISC books for adults. These are available on my website. Discipline to the Design of the Child 8 DISCIPLINE AND PERSONALITY PROFILES There are many systems out on the market that measure and evaluate personalities. Depending on where your primary personality strength falls on the chart. DISC MODEL Ken Voges has done a great deal of work with the DISC through his ministry In His Grace. and children. For example: the ―I‖ (Inspirational) and ―S‖ (Steady) © 2011 Jody Capehart. Therefore. more importantly. you can see why certain traits are intensified. The School Whisperer . Two are more PEOPLE-oriented and two are more TASK-oriented. those whom you do not understand naturally. teens. Colors. Each one of us is created with a God-given personality or temperament at birth.

Discipline to the Design of the Child 9 are both on the people side of the circle. On the other hand. they are both people-oriented. Even though one of them is an introvert and the other is an extrovert. the ―D‖ (Domineering) and ―C‖ (Cautious) are both on the task side of the circle and therefore may not possess as many people skills. The School Whisperer . The following is a chart that shows the corresponding names from the: DISC Model Hippocrates Model Trent / Smalley Discipline Model (for this book) Extrovert D I DISC: Dominant DISC: Inspiring P T Hippocrates: Choleric Trent/Smalley: Lion Hippocrates: Sanguine Trent/Smalley: Otter e a o p s l DISC: Conscientious DISC: Steady k Hippocrates: Melancholy Hippocrates: Phlegmatic e Trent/Smalley: Beaver Trent/Smalley: Golden Retriever C S Introvert © 2011 Jody Capehart.

The way to win with this child is to recognize his God-given leadership ability. He wants control. This child will be in charge of something in his lifetime. The School Whisperer . He is task-oriented. Discipline to the Design of the Child 10 Let's take a look at each of these and see how to discipline according to their temperament tendencies: CONTROLLING CARL This is where Carl relates in with the other models: DISC: High ―D‖ (Dominant) Hippocrates: Choleric John Trent: Lion Basically. we just want to be sure it's done with wisdom and awareness. He wants it his way. such as selecting his clothes and organizing his room or area of the classroom. Accomplishing is everything to him. competitive  A natural-born leader  Strong-willed  Optimist  A 'control freak‘ Controlling Carl is an extrovert. But if you © 2011 Jody Capehart. the more positively he responds. The more we give this child to be in charge of. Carl is:  An extrovert  Task-oriented  Takes authority and control  Accepts challenges well  Likes frequent change  Active.

will for will. 2. but you do it best by affirming his strength. it's all in how you package it.‖ he is more willing to do what you want. Give him things to be in charge of that you want him to do. easy-going parent or teacher and you've got one of these kids? With this child. Frankly. "Carl. giving him choices helps. it's hard. which begins with a submissive spirit and one willing to serve. Carl. he's fine. Also. The words. or you may get your Bible and then clean up your area.‘ or in charge. What happens when you're a laid back. Carl responds well to CHOICES. But if you say. We discipline this child by: 1. Remembering that Carl can be difficult to manage because of his strong will and need to control. You time me. okay?‖ Guidelines rather than rules work for Carl. defiance. you may clean up your area and then get your Bible. with this child. but he still feels he has some aspect of ―control‖ in the scene. Remember with this child. you may be in charge of cleaning your area (or room) today. If he thinks he is in control and he can do it on his terms. you must overcome. accomplishing is everything. That's why you give him lots of opportunities to ―win‖ in an appropriate way. rather than fighting it.‖ You give him choices within the boundaries of what you want. This child can talk his way out of anything. it's all in how you package it! 3. you may be in charge…” work well because they affirm his natural leadership ability and desire to be 'in control. Don't back him into a corner because it is not a pretty sight. If that's outside your personality comfort zone. ―Carl. Words that work well for this child are: ―I wonder if you can do it faster than you did last week. The School Whisperer . Affirming his natural leadership ability and working with it instead of trying to match it. ―I'm ‗gonna do it faster this week. With this child you must discipline with strength to match his control needs every step of the way. ―Carl. © 2011 Jody Capehart. Discipline to the Design of the Child 11 say ―Go clean up your area.‖ what do you hear from this child? You get an argument. Just get it done.‖ He is so competitive. We want to train in godly leadership ability in this child. Give him choices of things that are within the perimeter of what you want him to do. For him. or a long list of all the reasons in the world why he shouldn't have to do it.

Words that work well for this child are ―I wonder if. Discipline to the Design of the Child 12 HAPPY HANNAH Here is where this child would fall for each of the other models: DISC: ―I‖ (Inspirational) Hippocrates: Sanguine John Trent: Otter Basically.‖ For example: ―I wonder if we could get our room cleaned up so fast that we would have time to play a game.‖ She doesn't even see a need © 2011 Jody Capehart. How do we discipline Happy Hannah? Happy Hannah wants to have fun. She is a joy to have in the classroom and at home. so you discipline with humor and with some games.‖ Happy Hannah is not intrinsically motivated to clean. She is a fun-loving child. When we say.. this child is:  An extrovert  People-oriented  Fun loving  Entertaining  Forgetful at times  Loves to help  Spontaneous  Talkative  Eager to please Happy Hannah is an extrovert. though she may be a little talkative and forgetful. She gets ―rule amnesia‖ and forgets the rules and has to be reminded quite often.‖ Happy Hannah does not say. ―Go clean your room. ―Oh awesome.. The School Whisperer . sure mom.

it is far more effective. Now. saying to this child. but you are not going to be able to go up in your room for a couple days. But when we make it into a game. I use the term loosely with her version of cleaning. ―OK.‖ How do you respond? I am not advocating that you just say. that red tape across the door. Discipline to the Design of the Child 13 for it.. So the extrovert... Happy Hannah responds well to: 1. ―Mommy. exaggerated sigh) When I've got an extra three or four days. But you do understand that a Happy Hannah is more likely to forget. we need to: 1. you said to check under my bed and I did and I found all these neat things I haven't seen in so long and I wanted to play with them. Using the words.‖ When we get there.." When we discipline this child.‖ And I say. (heavy.‘‖ Happy Hannah may respond with. this is a game I used to play when I wanted her to clean her room: ―Angela I'm really sorry. I guess so.. okay?‖ Then she probably would say. and I may hear little steps but I just pretend that I don't know she's there.. Somehow make it 'fun'! Or at least convince her that it is fun! For example: "I wonder if you could clean up your mess by the © 2011 Jody Capehart. Be sensitive to feelings. The School Whisperer . The point is. "I wonder if.‖ ―Why not.. 2. I'll be glad to help you dig that room out. but it's going to take a really long time. ‗clean your room.. honey. Making it into a game 3. ―Oh and please don't forget to clean under your bed. Mom?‖ ―Well honey.. ―Go clean your room right now!‖ just doesn't work for her. She would 'sneak' out the front door and quietly come in the back door.SURPRISE!!!! She's cleaned her room! Of course. With my daughter Angela. Using humor 2. but that that does not necessarily mean she was disobedient or defiant.‖ Awhile later you go up to their room and now they've taken 29 zillion more things out and you say ―I said. you just forgot. ―But mom. Mommy‖ and continue to play.you may have noticed…the government was here and they declared your room a national disaster. Perhaps you have even given a little unsolicited advice such as. too. it's all right‖ and then throw up your hands. ―You silly child. would you have a little time to help me at least get started. ―Oh. I know my daughter and she likes to play games with me. Then she tiptoes out and comes in the front door and says.

However. Stubborn. Discipline to the Design of the Child 14 time I count to ten.. PEACEFUL PHIL This is where this child falls in with the other models: DISC: ―S‖ (Steady. Realize that this child gets 'rule amnesia' easily and may have to be reminded again. We need to strengthen this character trait for Happy Hannah and not allow her to use it as an excuse. and can be Sneaky) Hippocrates: Phlegmatic John Trent: Golden Retriever Basically. "I wonder if. The School Whisperer . our sensitivity to her temperament tendency will help us to give her time to tighten up these lapses." The words.. Sweet.. 3. goes with the flow  Peacemaker  Observer  Witty  Compliant © 2011 Jody Capehart. this child is:  Introverted  People-oriented  Patient  Easy going." sound like a potentially fun situation and this child responds well to them.

Not pushing him. The School Whisperer .. he responds well. we are going to start cleaning up.." This is effective because the more you push this child.‖ We discipline this child by: 1." For example: For an older child: "Phil. Phil doesn‘t need to challenge you so openly. He is a sweet child. He does not respond well to being pushed. you have until 5:00 to clean your room. when we give him 'time' to complete tasks and time warnings..‖ he doesn't need to touch it.. Giving him perimeters and space and gently moving him toward your desired goal. and because he has such good interior organization.. For example: "In 5 minutes.. 3. as long as you get it done. (That‘s the ‗sneaky‘ side of Phil.in 3 minutes we are going to put away our toys. ―Phil. So. the more stubborn and lazy he may become.. Unlike the controlling child who will look you straight in the eye and touch it. However.) If you want to see the 'back side' of this child.. He is a compliant child. Discipline to the Design of the Child 15  Quiet  May be lazy or stubborn  Keeps emotions hidden. Peaceful Phil often likes peace at any cost. he will make you look 'really good' as a parent.. It‘s easy to forget him because he is so quite and easy going. 2. he does not respond well to being forced to do things. may withdraw Peaceful Phil is an introvert. He is a peacemaker. you need to get your area cleaned up in 5 minutes. he can make a joke on the periphery and watch as the whole class ‗loses it' while he still holds it together. He likes being on his own time- © 2011 Jody Capehart. Realizing for starters that this child requires little discipline. push him. He makes you look good as a parent or teacher because he actually obeys you. If you say. if he is your only child. this is the child who may make a joke behind your back. He can be stubborn when pushed. He has a quiet kind of wit. ―We don't touch that. In fact. You may get it done when you want.

..... and Conscientious) Hippocrates: Melancholy John Trent: Beaver Basically. but in reality may stuff his emotions and later produce a more passive rebellious child. PERFECTIONIST PATTY This is where this child falls into the other models: DISC: ―C‖ (Cautious. Discipline to the Design of the Child 16 table. We want to stay close in touch with this child to make sure these habits don't begin.. Contemplative. this child is:  Introverted  Task-oriented  A perfectionist  Complies with authority  Sensitive to others  Enjoys routines and schedules  Idealistic  Can be easily overwhelmed and may be critical  Talented and gifted in a particular bent  Compassionate © 2011 Jody Capehart. a phlegmatic child can seem easy going and compliant. Or for a younger child: "In 5 minutes we will begin to clean up our toys." Remember..(3 minutes go by) Now it is time to clean up our toys. The School Whisperer .(wait 2 minutes) In 3 minutes we will begin to clean up our toys..

She gets what I call ―paralysis of analysis‖ when things don't go quite the way she thinks they should be going or if she is overwhelmed by a task. Let's go back to the home example of cleaning our room. Just realize that she is stuck emotionally. Perfectionists love keeping up with a system. but we live in a fallen. I say to this child. and if you tell her this is the best. © 2011 Jody Capehart. you discipline with sensitivity and predictability. Secondly. make your bed. ―Honey. ―Now. and we need to help her get unstuck. This child requires an enormous amount of encouragement. Just remember. With this child. she will think This is as good as it gets?!?!? as she plummets to the ground in despair. She can't tell when you are playing a game because with her everything is serious. she simply becomes emotionally stuck if she thinks she can't do it perfectly.‖ For starters. You go up there and she is standing in the middle of the room catatonic. after all. So please. sinful world and everything and everyone falls short. tell me and I will come back to check. If you want her to do a task at the level she is capable. we must give them hope. Patty is a die-hard perfectionist. let's put away your clothes.‖ Perfectionist Patty needs to do it ―right.‖ You continue in this manner by breaking down the job into measurable tasks. ―Lighten up. We simply have to get you through this time called childhood. ―You will be much happier as an adult. for goodness sake. When your bed is made. How do we best do this? You may try. she can't lighten up.‖ So with this child. you must first set up the system. She gets very unnerved if things aren‘t going in order. Discipline to the Design of the Child 17 Perfectionist Patty is an introvert. childhood is not her finest hour. Games do not work with this child. Now pick up your clothes. Patty. Just remember. This is a grown up in a child's body. she is in dire misery and would love to share this misery with you and may lash out at you because. The School Whisperer . Perfectionist Patty usually does not deliberately defy you. If you try a game on this child. don't say. Patty is very sensitive. make your bed.‖ Then you go on to the next level. We have just told Patty to clean her room. She just freezes up and can‘t move on or act. they just might not know how to set it up in the first place. You may want to design the overall task like you are going around a clock: First. these are the best years of your life. you are the cause of all this pain. you will bomb out. Remember. she sees the ideal and perfection in her mind. Are your toys put away? Then you take a photograph of it when it's the way you want it and put it by the light switch.

We discipline this child by being: 1. The School Whisperer . A Happy Hannah can live in chaos and not even know it. She will watch your body language. she can see it in your eyes and body language because she studies you. charts to check off behavior and tasks accomplished. Body Language 2. and when you‘ve about had it.‖ it is this child that will want to match the socks and put everything in the right place. They need help in starting it initially and sometimes they may seem like a slob. Sensitive. They're fastidious about order. as change really throws her off. but a Perfectionist Patty will know and feel it but then not know how to fix it. so we discipline with 1. 3. Encouraging! This child requires more encouragement than others and breaking down the expectations to clearly stated goals. 2. as she gets her feelings hurt very easily and carries her pain a long time. This child works well with checking things off a list. if you say. Visuals such as posting the rules. Visual Vi needs to SEE IT. Use that to your advantage. but they can't create it. Predictable. So you must give them the tools. ―Put away your clothes. but it's only because they're in overload. DISCIPLINE TO THE MODALITIES OF THE CHILD VISUAL VI You may have a visual child who needs to see it. Eye contact © 2011 Jody Capehart. getting a star. 3. earning points – that kind of thing. So you will be wise to remember to discipline with visuals. Discipline to the Design of the Child 18 For example.

Having her say it back. 2. you may go in and they're doing something else. (A word to the wise: women. That will help get your child dressed in time. If this is a child consistently not doing what you want. Visuals generally like to read. I would remember it. Perhaps you might want to make a little tape of instructions for them to use. Discipline to the Design of the Child 19 As an adult. 3. When we realize that a lot of the blurting out and excessive talking is a learning style factor. and so we discipline with: 1. Auditory Audrey needs to hear it AND talk about it. just say. I will remember it better." "If I write it down. Lots of voice inflection. ―Honey. when we get upset. When this child is ready to go out in orbit. Did you pull the covers up? Did you get them all? Did you get down there and get that sheet. too?‖ Think of all those things that distract her as she gets ready and try to incorporate them into the tape. prefers tasks with lots of visual components. just say. Always remembering to lower our voice at the end of a sentence. It doesn't mean we let this child interrupt or dominate the classroom. and says things like. you just have to wait a minute." In the classroom. Learn to lower your voice slowly as you near the end of a sentence. especially a disciplinary sentence. auditory things work especially well with great voice inflection). ―Honey. "If I could see it. (Remember. ―Good morning. she will be easier to discipline. we can be more sensitive. but if we can give her a chance to verbalize. so you discipline by having her say it back.) © 2011 Jody Capehart." "I see what you mean.‖ If you've got one of these at home and you send them to get dressed and make the bed. All she needs is that auditory feedback. what did I tell you to do?‖ and let her verbalize it back. The School Whisperer . not a discipline one. Go over to the bed. visual students learn best when they can: AUDITORY AUDREY Auditory Audrey needs to hear and talk about it. I'm going to give you a chance. I would like you to make your bed. our voice goes up and then children do not take us seriously.

―What did you do in Sunday School today?‖ ―I sat in the time out chair‖ ―What did you learn?‖ ―Sit down. make their paper into an airplane. Be still. A lot of Kinesthetic Ken's getting into trouble is because his body moves faster than his brain in some situations. He is generally not a motor-driven child. If a child is extremely tactual. If you see rebellion in the eyes. or mess with the student in front of them. "This is a tool to help you. so you discipline with giving him lots of chances to move. then deal with that. so we discipline with: © 2011 Jody Capehart.‖ That‘s all he heard. These types of children like to doodle on their papers (and get marked down a letter grade). Discipline the rebellion in the eyes but don‘t discipline every little movement that a child does because it may be his learning style. If you abuse it. He responds well to an active learning approach. he simply needs to touch. I always say. Kinesthetic Ken needs to MOVE and TOUCH in order to learn best. not a toy. Always look him in the eyes. RULE OF THUMB: When I let children have a special privilege that suits their learning style. If his hands don't have something constructive to do. you lose it. they‘ll spend their life in the time out chair. such as a doodle pad or a squeezie ball. I am not opposed to letting them have a 'squeezie ball' to squeeze as long as it stays in a pocket. A loving touch in our discipline 3. Items for him to touch in a constructive way 2. With him we often have to direct and re-direct. You have to realize that a lot of it is not necessarily deliberate disobedience. you might like to putter in the garage with your plants or do cross stitch to relax. The School Whisperer . so we provide: 1. he will find something mischievous to do in its place! If you are a tactual adult. Discipline to the Design of the Child 20 TACTUAL TED Tactual Ted likes to touch. Something specific to help him when his hands are wandering and wanting to get into trouble. KINESTHETIC KEN Kinesthetic Ken needs to move." Tactual Ted needs to TOUCH IT. If you send a child to the time out chair every time they move.

But.D.D. Thus the child may be said to be A. The second point is the person who needs to touch. children who have strong wills can often drive these teachers pretty crazy. The teaching profession often attracts people who like things in a logical. This is generally not a motor driven person. Discipline to the Design of the Child 21 1. 3.D. Active learning. he or she just needs to touch. and people who are A.D. The third point on the continuum is the person who needs full body movement in order to learn.H. Items to touch that are appropriate THE KINESTHETIC CONTINUUM This is an important concept to understand because there are so many misconceptions of this today. The fourth point is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder without hyperactivity) and the fifth is Attention Deficit Disorder with hyperactivity. allowing him to DO something as he is learning the concept. orderly manner. the kinesthetic learner.D. are often tactual learners. when really it is more a factor of personality or learning style. © 2011 Jody Capehart. Here‘s a point to remember: People who are A. Also.D. Children who need to move in order to learn often violate the comfort zone of these teachers.D.D. Let's look at this continuum: The first point on the continuum is the normal amount of movement that each of needs to do. The School Whisperer . not every person who needs to touch or move in order to learn is A. Directing and redirecting 2.! Right there is a big chunk of the misdiagnosis. are often kinesthetic learners.

it will reduce the potential for bad behavior problems. Parents and teachers often become so weary dealing with these children. as well as from him * allowing him to work on the floor or stand up at times * making a paper with a large rectangular ―window‖ opening on it in which the majority of the work sheet is blocked out. Just place him between the light fixtures and he will function much more calmly and will be more focused on the task at hand. This way. then moves to the next. Global children often get overwhelmed by seeing an entire sheet of problems to solve. so he won‘t get overwhelmed. trained. You may gently suggest that your child may do better with the following: * a seat that faces the wall to minimize the distractions from the room. properly guided. they can be exhausting at times! But. or on the bed if at home. Also. Taking a minute to help the child see the BIG PICTURE of what is expected is important. they only see 1-2 at a time. Discipline to the Design of the Child 22 Perhaps you may want to set up an appointment with your child‘s teacher. but does NOT make ADD the excuse for bad behavior. The School Whisperer . this is what children with Attention Deficit Disorder need: 1. A more global environment that includes: * less structure and more time to work and play on the floor. sensitive adult who is aware of what is needed and helps provide it. That only activates his body further. so let them pick the color paper they want. 2. © 2011 Jody Capehart. A loving. He does the work inside the box. they generally respond to color. One last thought…don‘t place this child‘s desk right under a fluorescent light. and taught. Then break it into component parts that he can handle. Plus. and rightly so. Providing structure balanced with a time for movement and active ‗doing‘ breaks is essential for optimum learning for this child. these children can do incredible things! Pray for God to give you a window to better see this child as HE designed him to be for HIS purpose! In terms of discipline.

Help in understanding the big picture. 4. Discipline to the Design of the Child 23 * less bright light * some sound * lots of things to touch and do 3. 5. Signals to clue the child back to appropriate behavior that you and the child have discussed so that the child does not feel that he is constantly being 'picked on'. Frequent directing and redirecting. C.S. Anthony Gregorc. Structure to help provide the steps to fit the big picture. DISCIPLINE TO THE LEARNING STYLES Just as there are many systems on the market that measure and evaluate personalities. The School Whisperer . Opportunities to move and do. 7. LEWIS (Concrete Sequential) Characteristics of this person in general:  Practical  Linear in thinking  Sequential  Organized  Likes predictability © 2011 Jody Capehart. For this section. we will use the system developed by Dr. 6. there are different systems to better understand learning styles.

The School Whisperer . This adult generally did not misbehave much as a child and therefore does not understand or accept a child who acts out of this prescribed 'norm'. Advance notice 6. and models  Can be aloof and absent-minded © 2011 Jody Capehart. Predictability 3. we must provide: 1. This adult does not want to 'put up with' any child who does not fall within the clearly defined expectations this person has established as ‗right‘. The teaching profession attracts Concrete Sequential people.S. they often have to work at accepting children who don't fall within their narrow criteria of acceptable behavior. theories. Structure 2. and methodical disciplinarian. and while they make excellent disciplinarians and teachers. consistent. Consistent follow through A Concrete Sequential parent or teacher is usually a very strict. ARYSA (Abstract Sequential) Characteristics of this person in general:  Use logic and reason  Intellectual  Analytical  Love research  Love documentation  Enjoy synthesis. Discipline to the Design of the Child 24 To best discipline this child. Clearly stated instructions up-front 5. A. Dependability 4. Logical sequences 7.

The School Whisperer . discipline on a practical level may be very challenging for this adult. This person has to read. Therefore. HARVEY (Abstract Random) Characteristics of this person include:  Enjoys the abstract world of feelings and emotions  Is a relational person  Enjoys subjective exchanges  Emotional and perceptive  Imaginative and creative  Thinks with his heart  Strong need for approval © 2011 Jody Capehart. not feelings An Abstract Sequential parent or teacher may be so intellectually and abstract- oriented that it may be a challenge to come back to the every day world of reality with children. Consistency 3.R. No arbitrary rules 6. Well thought-out systems 7. It may be hard for this person to apply it on a day-to-day routine because children often throw us curve balls that had not been carefully calculated and defined. A. Discipline to the Design of the Child 25 To best discipline this child. Credibility 2. research. Facts. Justice 4. we must provide: 1. and think through a clear system of discipline. Logical Sequences 5. study.

They often believe that if you simply love the child enough. we must provide: © 2011 Jody Capehart. Timing is everything with this child 6. we must provide: 1. Lots of praise and affirmation An Abstract Random parent or teacher is a very loving person who thinks with their heart. The School Whisperer . A feeling of fairness 3. Discipline to the Design of the Child 26 To best discipline this child. Love that promotes self-esteem 4. C. they will behave. thinks on their feet To best discipline this child. Subjective discussions about WHY 5. CINDY (Concrete Random) Characteristics of this person in general:  Likes the concrete world of activity  Also enjoys the abstract world of intuition  Instinctive  Impulsive  Independent  Free from restrictions from within  Creative and resourceful.R. A nurturing relationship 2. This may be a very hard lesson for this person to understand. but this love must be backed up with tough love. Approval 7. This is true.

R. not rules 2. Discipline to the Design of the Child 27 1. Giving choices (within the perimeter of what you want) and not backing them into a corner 5. Choose your battles so you can win the war A Concrete Random teacher or parent is strong-willed and has probably already tried most of everything a C. but you are more comfortable in terms of learning new information operating out of the left side of your brain. Affirming this child's natural leadership abilities and strengths 3. You tend to be: © 2011 Jody Capehart. "You may be in charge of. child will try on them. where would you go to work on it? Would you sit at a desk or table. Therefore." 4. Input and ownership into the system of consequences 6. Truly loving and affirming this child as unique and special 7. rocker. Guidelines. The School Whisperer . It doesn't mean you don't function out of the other. DISCIPLINE TIPS FOR THE ENVIRONMENT If you had something important to accomplish... recliner or floor. with bright light where it is quiet? Or would you sit on the bed. Words like. they are usually excellent at discipline because they can almost always second guess this child. with just a soft lamp on and with sound (such as music or television)? If you work better with…  Bright light  Sitting at a desk or table  Quiet …then you are probably more comfortable functioning out of the left side of your brain. They are usually creative and fun teachers and parents who can succeed at discipline without much trouble.

you must do so in a logical sequence. If you work better with…  Soft lights  On the bed.56 in your bank statement you can't account for? (analytic) * The two of you go into an empty house to buy or lease. and the patterns form the whole picture. linear progression. You see the big picture first and then later notice the details. because there is $1. You see parts. rocker or recliner  With sound …you may be more comfortable functioning out of the right side of your brain and you tend more to be: 1. But for you to move through the process. Global in your thinking. let's get it!" (global) The point is that reality did not change. you realize that parts form patterns. More analytic in your thinking. 3. You think in whole pictures. it was our perception of it. The School Whisperer . Think in logical. Which person would be more inclined to: * Stay up until 1:00 a. © 2011 Jody Capehart. 3. 2. Discipline to the Design of the Child 28 1. one if you is counting the windows to calculate the electric bill (analytic) and the other has already moved in the furniture and drapes conceptually and says "It's perfect. 2.m.

2. 2. but instead. To see the BIG PICTURE. © 2011 Jody Capehart. Structure. Consistency. With affirmation for the way they are and less of "What's wrong with you?" For an ANALYTICAL AL who may be more comfortable functioning from the left side of his brain. The child does not see the environment or curriculum as the problem. Less emotion and more of a factual response. what does he need in terms of discipline? 1. it is just personal preference. This feeling of inadequacy can lead to behavior problems as well. Discipline to the Design of the Child 29 A bright. this makes school even more of a challenge for the global learner. The tragedy lies in that there are many wonderful. Since most curriculum and tests are written for the left brain. Clearly defined system of cause and effect. and who thinks in a linear function. feels stupid and inadequate for the task. quiet learning environment is not necessarily better. 3. The School Whisperer . To be nurtured. most right brainers (globals) have a more difficult time concentrating. 5. creative. A logical system. To be trained lovingly in the steps necessary to complete a task. What does our GLOBAL GLADYS need in terms of discipline? 1. 3. To be able to work and play with: * less structure * some sound * on the floor * with softer light 4. 5. 4. delightful and bright global children who feel pretty dumb in the classroom. But since the basic environment of most schools is set up to be more of a left brain preference.

the teaching profession attracts certain kinds of teachers. This poses some interesting discipline challenges. I find that certain teacher types have particular challenges.. For example: * ringing a bell (a gentle tone please. on the Gregorc model... which is a blessing for any student. "Being cheerful makes you happy!" Characteristics of this teacher include: * Fun loving * Entertaining * Appealing personality * Forgetful * Not good on details such as lesson plans and sticking to a schedule * Will apologize * Spontaneous * Good sense of humor But then she learned to her dismay that these kids needed discipline and she became very discouraged because discipline isn't fun. the majority of teachers test out to be Concrete Sequential. For example. This means that they like everything in a very organized. FOLSOM This teacher is an extrovert who loves to have fun! Perhaps she was drawn to the teaching profession because she thought working with kids would be exciting! A scripture reference that captures this teacher is from Proverbs 17:22. Discipline to the Design of the Child 30 TEACHER TEMPERAMENT TENDENCIES AND DISCIPLINE As a general rule. Let's take a look at these and what we can do about it. FUN LOVING MRS. Let's take a look at some of the above qualities and see how we can turn them into positive discipline techniques: 1.. The School Whisperer . In my nearly 40 years of working with teachers. Certain personality types and learning styles are anything but organized and sequential. FUN-LOVING: This teacher can make learning a joy. predictable way. perhaps a low train whistle will do. in public and private schools as well as churches.) © 2011 Jody Capehart. not a clang. She just has to find ways to regain classroom control in a fun way.

© 2011 Jody Capehart. turn your eyes to me." After the teacher makes the announcement. The School Whisperer . especially an adult teacher. so when you 'forget'. ENTERTAINING WITH AN APPEALING PERSONALITY: This is a definite plus in terms of making school interesting. A signal might be to hold up her hand and give the students to a count of 5 to 'get it together'. be on time. * Post the rules of the classroom. This comes down to a simple facing of reality that being an adult. put your hands behind your back with your feet on the floor. 4. you can find ways to grow in this area.. Avoiding it does not help. she says.. surprise. Perhaps you might: * Have a detail-oriented person help you with lesson plans until you get the 'hang of it'.. Discipline to the Design of the Child 31 * saying to the students: "Let's play a game: when I ring the bell. 3. But if this teacher is too energetic in the classroom." 2. ENERGETIC: This energy channeled into teaching is a real positive asset in a teacher. Realizing that it is your weakness. she may find herself with some discipline problems. FORGETFUL AND NOT GOOD ON DETAILS AND ORGANIZATION: Surprise. Thus the teacher may have to learn to flip an invisible switch and begin to talk more calmly. But if this teacher turns her classroom into her own personal stage where she does her daily stand up comic routines. I want you to freeze. entails: attending to the details. you have a reminder. it may cross the line and border on hyperactivity..being an adult means you have to complete forms. "Now you may defrost. She will learn to involve the students in a variety of learning processes besides just listening to her. do lesson plans and other such 'stuff' which Fun-Loving Freeda does not love to do. She will also have to find a way to signal the class when it is time to 'switch gears' and settle down if she has been especially entertaining. move more slowly as if to become an oasis of peace in the classroom.

there is safety. A scripture for this teacher is "Without wise leadership. The School Whisperer . Discipline to the Design of the Child 32 DO IT RIGHT. The simpleton never looks and suffers the consequences. get training. WRIGHT The motto of this teacher is "Do it right!" A scripture is "A sensible man watches for problems ahead and prepares for them. MR. IRON WILL WILSON This teacher is an extrovert who is task oriented whose motto is: "Let's do it my way!" This teacher is a doer who accepts challenges well and prefers the activity more than the product. and read up on how to "do it right". In his zeal to 'get it done'." Proverbs 14:14. ORGANIZED and CONSCIENTIOUS: Teachers who are more organized tend to have better disciplined classrooms." Proverbs 27:12 Perhaps a biblical example may be Moses. but with good counselors. MR. 2. His characteristics may include: * Born leader * Dynamic * Takes charge * Organizes well * Impatient * Difficult to apologize * Stimulates activity © 2011 Jody Capehart. he may be insensitive to some of the students. 3. a nation is in trouble. They will pray. A biblical example may be Paul. COMPASSIONATE AND DEVOTED: These teachers are deeply committed to the profession of teaching and take this commitment seriously. PERFECTIONIST AND HARD TO PLEASE: This quality may have to be softened up in order to have more realistic expectations of the students. Characteristics of this teacher include: * Organized * Perfectionist * Compassionate * Devoted * May be rigid * Conscientious * High standards are intimidating How do we turn these characteristics into discipline strengths? 1.

ORGANIZES WELL: His organization skills make the discipline clear to follow. but a harsh word stirs up anger. people-person." Proverbs 15:1 Perhaps a biblical example would be Abraham. MAY BE STUBBORN OR LAZY: This teacher may be lax on discipline and may have to learn "tough love". 3. 'GO WITH THE FLOW' MOE This introverted teacher is a very easy-going. A scripture for this teacher is "A gentle answer turns away wrath. The School Whisperer . Characteristics of this person as a teacher include: * Patient * Peacemaker * Quiet * Witty * Good interior organization * Happy reconciled to life * Can be stubborn or lazy How does this translate into discipline? 1. 2. © 2011 Jody Capehart. 2. PATIENT PEACEMAKER: This teacher's gentle. For this teacher. Discipline to the Design of the Child 33 How do these qualities translate into being a disciplinarian? 1. 2. BORN LEADER AND TAKES CHARGE EASILY: He has no trouble providing discipline. easy-going nature makes them non-offensive to any student. he may have to learn how to soften it at times. GOOD INTERIOR ORGANIZATION: This person's natural ability to 'hold it together' even during stressful times makes her able to be a good. DIFFICULT TO APOLOGIZE AND INSENSITIVE: With his tendency to be impatient and difficulty in apologizing. and they will probably get along with most students. he may overpower some of his students and have to learn sensitivity. in fact he thrives on it. MS. fair disciplinarian.

Iron Will Wilson will bring out a different response from a Happy Hannah student than will a fun-loving Mrs. But guess what? It isn't simple. and other qualities. this person: * Makes home fun! * Entertaining. Let us remember that each of us is a unique combination of temperament traits. PARENTING PREFERENCES The concept of personalities and temperaments can be applied to the parenting process as well. Obviously. That is why this issue is so complicated. Folsom. spiritual gifts. In writing this book. therefore making it impossible to categorize people into little neat categories. there are inherent strengths and weaknesses. Also. The School Whisperer . Different parenting personalities tend to handle discipline from their own personality base. learning style. is liked by child's friends * Child at heart * Disorganized © 2011 Jody Capehart. this is very much affected by how they were raised. I tried hard to find the best way to make this simple. The bottom line is that we need to learn to love and accept one another as God has designed us for His purpose. Whole chapters could be written on just what happens when each temperament strength comes up against another. Discipline to the Design of the Child 34 For each kind of teacher temperament (not to be confused with temperamental teachers!). when our particular combination of traits comes up against another set of unique temperament traits. and how they relate back to each personality type in their children. the response is one of a kind. their culture. Back to the original premise: God made each of us unique for His purpose. we will look at some patterns: HAPPY HANNAH PARENT Related personality types: Hippocrates: Sanguine DISC: Inspirational Trent/Smalley: Otter As a parent. For example. But for purposes of discussion. Mr.

‗people disciplining this people‘ child and not having fun May forget who is Have trouble Child might not take Share fun and good the parent and who is relating. The School Whisperer . it is not as simplistic as this. Discipline to the Design of the Child 35 * Spontaneous * Loving * Positive * Sensitive to feelings * Can turn disaster into humor How does this translate into being a disciplinarian: * May be lax on discipline * Will apologize * Sensitive not to hurt a child's feelings How does this parent interface with children of varying personalities? (Again. we are stating generalities only) HAPPY HANNAH PARENT with: Happy Hannah Perfectionist Patty Controlling Carl Peaceful Phil Fun and spontaneous Child thinks parent is Parent may have a Easy going relationship too frivolous hard time relationship. Patty may this parent seriously humor together the child have to ‗parent‘ Hannah © 2011 Jody Capehart.

are not fun. Discipline to the Design of the Child 36 Bottom line. instead of simply being spontaneous. * To realize that parts of being an adult. PERFECTIONIST PATTY PARENT Related personality systems: Hippocrates: Melancholy DISC: Cautious Trent/Smalley: Beaver As a parent. * To be more consistent. but very necessary. Happy Hannah Parent may have to learn: * To define rules and boundaries of appropriate behavior and WRITE and post them. like being the disciplinarian. The School Whisperer . this person is: * Perfectionist * Devoted * Wants everything 'done right' * Keeps home in good order * Sacrifices for the children * Encourages talent and creativity * Compassionate * Organized and structured * May be hard to please © 2011 Jody Capehart.

but finds it difficult to do so * May set standards too high for children and may have to be more realistic How does this parent interface with children of varying personalities? PERFECTIONIST PATTY PARENT with: Happy Hannah Perfectionist Patty Controlling Carl Peaceful Phil Hard to relate Understand each Patty may feel Easy relationship other overwhelmed Parental expectation May become overly Parent may get Child with make this may be too high sensitive with each depressed because parent ‗look good‘ other they can‘t parent this and feel at ease child perfectly Bottom line is that Perfectionist Patty Parent may have to learn: * No one is perfect and that includes her and children. * Will study. © 2011 Jody Capehart. The School Whisperer . Discipline to the Design of the Child 37 How does this translate into being a disciplinarian. * To balance high ideals with realistic expectations. * To be more positive and less critical of children. * May need to 'lighten up' on discipline. read and do whatever is needed to 'do it right'.

The School Whisperer . this person may be: * Strong-willed * Goal and task-oriented * Stimulates activity * Thrives on opposition * Exerts strong leadership * Easily motivated * Organizes household * Insensitive to feelings and has difficulty apologizing * Controlling How does this translate into discipline? * Very strong disciplinarian * Takes on challenges well * Very controlling How does this parent interface with children of varying personalities? © 2011 Jody Capehart. Discipline to the Design of the Child 38 CONTROLLING CARL PARENT Related personality types: Hippocrates: Choleric DISC: Dominant Trent/Smalley: Lion As a parent.

PEACEFUL PHIL PARENT Related personality types: Hippocrates: Phlegmatic DISC: Steady Trent/Smalley: Golden Retriever © 2011 Jody Capehart. as well as learning to apologize. especially his children's. * To let his children be who they are and not try to 'control' every aspect of their life and being. The School Whisperer . * To be sensitive to other people's feelings. Discipline to the Design of the Child 39 CONTROLLING CARL PARENT: with: Happy Hannah Perfectionist Patty Controlling Carl Peaceful Phil Parent may hurt Parent may Collision of wills Appears okay on child‘s feelings overwhelm child surface Child may feel Child may not feel Parent will try to Child may hide inner unloved because it‘s unconditional love control at any cost feelings if they difficult for this disagree with parent parent to say it Bottom line is that Controlling Carl Parent may have to learn: * To realize that not everyone is as motivated to activity as he is.

this person is: * Patient * Good under pressure * Balanced * Takes time for children * Can take the good with the bad * Provides unconditional love and acceptance * Doesn't get upset easily * Makes a fair parent * Goes with the flow Translated into the discipline process. doesn't over-react emotionally * Good under pressure How does this parent interface with children of varying personalities? PEACEFUL PHIL PARENT with: Happy Hannah Perfectionist Patty Controlling Carl Peaceful Phil Easy-going Parent may not relate Parent may have Easy-going to moodiness of trouble managing child this child Fun Parent can discipline Child may try to Relaxed this child control parent © 2011 Jody Capehart. The School Whisperer . Discipline to the Design of the Child 40 As a parent. this person: * May be too easy-going about discipline * Stays rational.

I simply give them the look. you may need to write and post them. ―Amy. but you can make them be quiet when another is talking. For example. ―I know I know!‖ For the visual learners. you may continue‖. Also. and then I look straight at the children who had been talking. ―Now what are the rules for our classroom?‖ All the little auditory learners blurt out. you may be quiet. The School Whisperer . This keeps them quiet so Amy can finish her answer. and respect other people‘s bodies. I tell the children. * To define a system and then determine to stick to it and not let things slide by as his nature prefers peace. If you‘re doing a group activity on the floor. Discipline to the Design of the Child 41 Bottom line for Peaceful Phil Parent is that he may have to learn: * To remember that discipline is important and a way of showing love. It‘s worth taking a minute to go through the rules every week. But if you take them out of your purse or © 2011 Jody Capehart. you may raise your hand and wait for me to call on you.‖ Then I walk over to the students who are talking. 2) When someone else is talking. wait for them to be quiet and then say. obviously you can‘t walk around. Please wait a minute. Every week I start out. THE Ds OF DISCIPLINE FOR TEACHERS Define Your Basic System Decide what your rules are and then live by them. ―If you bring your little treasures to class. As teachers. you have two students on the other side of the room begin to talk because they don‘t think you‘re looking at them. I don‘t lecture. that‘s fine. I simply say. Direct and Redirect The majority of issues work themselves out by simply walking around. we really want to hear what you have to say. we need to use our eyes more and our voices less. You can't make a child listen. 3) Keep your hands and feet on your own body. I try to keep three simple rules: 1) If you want to talk. you have called on Amy and while she talks. ―Amy. stand there until they realize I am looking at them.

―I believe that God has made your body to love to move and that when you grow up you will be really good at something with using your body. you may want to check out: The Discipline Guide or Discipline by Design (www. The School Whisperer . you get to keep the loot and open a toy store at the end of the school year! ). and equipping the child. we become the calming force in the classroom. which will help prevent future discipline issues. ―The only thing I could praise was that he didn‘t go home with me. If we become hyper and loud. we are modeling for them what we expect from them. So if they choose to take it out during class. When we affirm and cherish the differences in our students. at which point you can explain the rule to the parent. speak quietly but firmly. you are allowing that child to be a part of the solution. For starters. For more suggestions on this. may I suggest this positive approach. Discipline to the Design of the Child 42 pocket. Detachment and Discipline While we are not ever detached from the child. it may be possible that no one has affirmed his/her need to move before or seen it as an asset. and act deliberately. Secondly. Let‘s find a special way for me to remind you of those times. One teacher said. But sometimes in my class. With the little child that is constantly going out in orbit with his hands and body such as Kinesthetic Ken. © 2011 Jody Capehart. Find a time to talk with him in private. loving. You are encouraging. the children will respond in the same manner. you minimize future discipline issues.‖ Not exactly what I had in mind. it goes in the basket and they can get it back by simply returning with a parent after class. we are detached from their disruptive deeds. You may also want to provide some kind of clue to remind him. If you have an ADHD child who may be a challenge to have in class at times. When you use this approach. and respectful with one another. Say. empowering. We want to be kind. Direct Your Attention Direct your attention to the little things before they become big things. I have a system where I go around and simply redirect him. I need for you to keep your body more still. they‘re mine. (And when they don‘t come back.jodycapehart.‖ And then brain storm with the child.com/store) Dignify Each Child Find something to praise in each child. When we move slowly. We set the tone for our classrooms.‖ Otherwise they bring their ‗stuff‘ and they‘re more interested in their loot than they are in the lesson.

but we don‘t always enjoy them. He will orchestrate ways you could never imagine. The School Whisperer . verbal instructions. So we‘ve come up with another system to get their attention. you may want to sing a song. Discipline to the Design of the Child 43 Don‘t Yell: Regain Attention Through Positive Signals Please don‘t ever yell. You may play a game as a signal. appreciated for who he is. if you are inclined. Do Rely on the Power of Prayer Do rely on the power of prayer. Discipline is an easier process when the child feels loved unconditionally. guidance. written them on 3x5 note cards along with appropriate scripture verses and carried them with me to pray for that child through-out the day. Some teachers turn off the lights. CONCLUSION Discipline is training a child in mind. example. an attitude of realistic expectations.‖ Whoops—missed the point. Yes. You may want to bring in a quiet. Yet this area of discipline is one which can cause the most burn-out and fatigue in parents and teachers. When you yell. We love them in the Lord. You may want to try a low train whistle. and sometimes even a written plan. As you pray for God to bond you to that child. body. Ever. children are becoming more difficult to manage because of the influences of our world today. did you hear me. I rang the bell. Or. Handling discipline effectively is a hallmark of a successful teacher and parent. Why? Probably because it is so on-going. children get louder. you will like that child as well as love him. soft-toned bell. There seems to be a total © 2011 Jody Capehart. heart. I was in one teacher‘s classroom and she was pounding the ‗ding‘ bell on her desk while stating over and over in an ever-escalating voice. I rang the bell. not a clanging one or even one of those that ‗dings‘. Whatever works for you is still a more positive means of gaining attention as opposed to yelling. We have had children from time to time that we just don‘t particularly like that may be placed strategically in our classroom by divine appointment just to grow us. One suggestion is to use a soft-sounding bell. Also. and before you know it. and given focused time and attention. ―I rang the bell. I‘ve taken children‘s names. Discipline requires training through a variety of means such as communication. constructive member of society. and character to enable him or her to become a self-controlled. that is your true power source.

Chaos is reigning in many arenas. We need to start spending more time with our children instead of rushing them from one program to another.lessonslearnedinthelittleredschoolhouse. Let's take time for our children. we begin to see how to discipline the child to be all he or she can be.equippingeducators.facebook. Discipline is a discipleship process. but instead take it on as a challenge that must be confronted. Let us pray to see our children as God designed them to be for His purpose. The School Whisperer . schools. But a wake up call is resounding throughout our nation.com www.com Twitter http://twitter.com/pages/Jody-Capehart-The-School- Whisperer/157052290983216 © 2011 Jody Capehart.jodycapehart. Processes take time. We provide the guidance on the outer so that the child can learn it on the inner. Let's show our love for kids of today as we discipline them to the glory of God. Educators and parents are looking at what is happening to our children today and desiring for the situation to change. STAY CONNECTED WITH JODY My Websites www.com My Blogs www. and the media reflects this message to our children. We must not run away from this issue.schoolwhisperer.cultivating-kids. Discipline to the Design of the Child 44 lack of respect for authority that is permeating our culture.com www. As we see each child as a masterpiece from the Master Designer and pray for wisdom. What will it take? We must bring DISCIPLINE back into our homes.com?#!/SchoolWhisperer Facebook www.com www. We must turn off the electronic media and learn to talk and interact with one another again. and churches.

jodycapehart. The School Whisperer .com © 2011 Jody Capehart.com and sign up today to receive other free products like this in future monthly newsletters! Contacting Jody Email jody. Discipline to the Design of the Child 45 Please Tell Others about Jody Feel absolutely free to pass along this FREE E-book! If you received it without signing up for the newsletter. please visit www.capehart@jodycapehart.