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barefacts pressure forces

By Ben Miller NUS to act
S upermarkets and
react to barefacts’ report
on child labour in Uzbekistan
NUS companies mentioned in the report,
including Matalan, and Topman and
Burton (part of the Arcadia Group).
Tens of thousands of children are forced
to pick the cotton harvest each year.”
Classrooms are emptied so that the
that whilst these practices persist in
Uzbekistan, we cannot support the use of
cotton from Uzbekistan in our clothing.”
Two of Britain’s leading high street The NUS were slow to react to crop, known as “white gold”, can be Following Tesco and Marks and
supermarkets have reacted to barefacts’ questions about its relationship with harvested. Many schools shut down for Spencer’s actions, barefacts contacted the
and Newsnight’s reports on the use of companies that are accused of using several months. The cotton industry NUS to see if they had taken any action.
forced child labour in Uzbekistan by cotton produced by forced child labour is big business - and Uzbekistan is On January 29, Dave Lewis, NUS
banning from their products. Tesco said in Uzbekistan. In contrast, Tesco and the third largest exporter in the world. Treasurer, said: “NUS strives to
child labour is completely unacceptable Marks & Spencer announced last “Threats of expulsion from school attain the highest level of ethical and
and is taking steps to ensure it’s week they will ban the use of cotton keep many children in the fields,” environmental standards in dealing
not used in its products and Marks from Uzbekistan in their products. Trent explains. “Those who fail with its commercial partners. As such,
and Spencer said it will follow suit. After a lot of chasing following to meet their quotas or pick poor we take the allegations against Matalan
the report, Dave Lewis, quality cotton are punished by
NUS Treasurer, said on scolding, beatings and detention.”
November 26 they are Under President Islam Karimov’s
treating the issue extremely authoritarian regime, the state controls
seriously and contacted the industry, dictating production quotas,
Matalan and Topshop, while local officials “motivate” producers
requesting their responses to with a variety of intimidating measures.
the Newsnight allegations. Marks & Spencer said: “We have
Steve Trent, the executive banned the use of Uzbek cotton in all our
director of the Environmental clothing. This will be our position until
Justice Foundation (EJF), a such time that there is clear evidence of
Cotton picked by hand in Uzbekistan :Photo courtersy of EJF
charity that campaigns for a change in the Uzbek cotton industry,
Following Newnight’s report (BBC2, human rights and against environmental this is due to child labour concerns.”
30 October 2007) on the use of child abuses, says: “Cotton production in Tesco said: “The use of organised
labour in Uzbekistan, barefacts found Uzbekistan represents one of the most and forced child labour is completely
the NUS worked with a number of exploitative enterprises in the world. unacceptable and leads us to conclude

Super Steve – the best student in Guildford

Cont Page 3

By Ben Miller organising officials and most recently managing the

Steve Cottingham, an undergraduate politics student businesses across the borough. Presenting promotion of the club to the intermediate league.
at the University of Surrey has recognised as the most Steve with his award was Hugo Axel-Berg, Steve is an ambassador for the University and is
outstanding student/trainee of the year at this year’s from Hyder Consulting, and the Hounourable often seen at open days promoting the University
Guildford Life with Style awards, at the Guildhall in Mayor of Guildford, Councillor Mike Nevins. and doing all he can to get as many students
Guildford town centre on Wednesday 23rd January. Steve is battling a serious illness, but still finds time here as possible. He is Chair of the Students’
Peter Gordon, from 96.4 The Eagle radio station to do numerous important jobs in and around the Union Sports Executive Committee, constantly
was the host of the awards, along with members University. He devotes hours of his time to the Men’s striving to make sport better and more accessible.
of Guildford Council and representatives from Football club, managing 4 teams, arranging fixtures, Cont Page 2 Issue 1118 Wednesday 6th February
2 NEWS 6th February 2008

News In Mature and part-time students

Brief hit by funding changes University, which is expected to be worst hit by
Hospital DJ’s’ Comedic talents By Ben Miller the funding switch, losing more than £31.6m in
are just the tonic Government promises to raise money for part-time teaching funding by the academic year 2014/15,
Winner of the Spirit of the Fringe Award students from £20 to £30m - to ensure universities said: “We will manage but it will cause damage.”
2007, Ivan Brackenbury, brings his show to do not suffer from cuts to degree funding - were Criticism of the government’s plans has been widespread with
the Union House at the University of Surrey branded inadequate by the head of one of the trade unions, universities, students, opposition parties and
on19th February. institutions most likely to be affected by the changes. British industry all condemning the proposed withdrawal.
Prof David Latchman, master of Birkbeck, Opponents say the plans contradict the government’s own
Pioneering university at the University of London, told MPs on the Commons’ lifelong learning agenda and will hit universities offering
forensic forefront innovation, universities and skills select committee, courses to adults and part-time students the hardest.
Physicists at the University of Surrey could that ministers couldn’t “cherry pick” which UCU general secretary Sally Hunt believed this
soon find themselves at the forefront of the students would lose funding and which would not. was the most widely condemned government
UK’s fight against crime. Experts, including Opponents of the proposals to transfer, over a three-year education policy of the last 10 years.
Dr Melanie Webb, have designed a novel period, £100m of funding from those taking equivalent Before the committee meeting, Latchman said: “These
way of forensically testing crime scenes or lower qualifications (ELQs) to those studying proposals will have a serious impact on individuals who are
using a technique called ion beam analysis. first degrees gave evidence to the committee’s inquiry. re-skilling, as well as on the part-time university sector.”
They supported the government’s aims to get more first- The committee’s chairman, Phil Willis, said: “The
Volunteers get a warm time undergraduates into higher education, but not the sadness of this is the failure to engage the people who
welcome from charity principle of transferring money from ELQ students to do so. are best placed to find a solution to the problem.”
Gap year volunteers got together at the The funding changes were announced in September
University of Surrey a couple of weeks ago last year, without consultation from the sector.
before setting off to do charity work in the area. Latchman said the government plans were “far
too simplistic” and needed proper consultation.
Sustainable student blocks Prof Brenda Gourley, vice-chancellor of the Open
The University of Surrey’s new
student accommodation, designed with
sustainability in mind, benefits from not
editorial team
being hurtful or injurious to life or health
Super Steve ,Cont from front page 1118
and premium performance insulation. EDITOR |CLAIRE WORGAN | EDITOR@BFACTS.CO.UK
On winning the award, Steve said “It is
such a shock but a lovely surprise. I never
Diet together expected that I would win the award.
Dieters who diet alone are more likely to give
up on the diet according to Surrey research “The University is such an important part FOOD EDITOR | VERITY KIRKPATRICK |
of Guildford and it is nice to receive this on SCIENCE EDITOR | EMMA ROGULSKA |
behalf of the University as well as for myself.” FEATURES EDITOR | AMUL GURUNG |
Steve will be at Surrey for another year ARTS EDITOR | JAKE SOUTH |
and has promised to help the football club SOCIETIES EDITOR | SIMON MOORE |
with their transition into the new league. SPORTS EDITOR |POSITION VACANT|
He will also be training another student SPORTS EDITOR |POSITION VACANT|
to take over the reigns once he graduates. PUZZLELORD | COLIN EVERETT |
They’ve won the battle to COPY EDITOR | POSITION VACANT|
speak up for themselves Outside of the COPY EDITOR |POSITION VACANT |
From petrified students to company directors University, Steve has WEBMASTER | JOSH BATES |
who know they can do better, Guildford just been headhunted MARKETING MANAGER | NATALIYA NADTOKA |
Speakers Club is helping by Hampshire Police
to develop confidence, to help their football MARKETING CO-ORDINATOR | AARON SALINS |
including Biotechnology management team EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | ALEX COLLINS |
student Emma Heister, combating football
who is anxious to improve violence. He will barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey
Students’ Union Communications Office.
her self-confidence, be assisting the
before leaving Uni. team in the office The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily
represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of
as a volunteer. Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied
or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher beforehand.

Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited

How far has your tipple travelled? barefacts is looking for people to Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1QA
Tara Garnett of the University of Surrey suggested
fill these positions Submission is no guarantee of publication. barefacts reserves the right to edit
the alcohol sector is responsible for around 1.5 submissions. Please direct all equiries to the relevant section Editor.
per cent of the UK’s greenhouse gas emissions. Deputy Editor,Sports Editor
6th February 2008 NEWS 3

By Ben Miller
No ID card: No student loan The National Union of
Students will be “blackmailed” into holding identity cards Students (NUS) responded
in order to apply for student loans, the Tories have warned. to the leaked documents
According to Home Office documents leaked to the Conservative showing the government is
party last night, those applying for student loans will be planning to target students in its
forced to hold identity cards to get the funding from 2010. attempt to introduce ID cards.
Anyone aged 16 or over will be expected to obtain a card - costing NUS Vice President (Welfare),
up to £100 - to open a bank account or apply for a student loan. Ama Uzowuru said: “It is
The document says: “We should issue ID cards to young people to assist extremely disappointing that
them as they open their first bank account, take out a student loan, etc.” the Government is planning
The government had planned to start issuing the ID cards to to use students as guinea pigs
people applying for a passport from 2010, but confidential for this scheme by forcing them to take on ID cards in order to apply for a loan.
documents confirm that the scheme will be delayed to at least 2012. “Besides being morally reprehensible, this plan is also completely impractical.The student
The revelations have led to concerns that the government is planning loan system is complicated enough as it is, without introducing yet another layer of
to collect the fingerprints and other biometric details of more than two bureaucracy to the process. Many students change address at least once a year and would
million young people entering higher education each year by stealth. be obliged to report such changes in their personal circumstances or face a £1000 fine.”
“We would also be concerned for the safety of students’ personal
information if they were forced to enter the ID card system.”
Shadow immigration minister Damian Green called the plans
“straightforward blackmail” to bolster “a failing policy”.
“This is an outrageous plan. The government has seen its ID cards proposals stagger
from shambles to shambles. They are clearly trying to introduce them by stealth.”

City banker Cont from front page Trent said: “For us it’s a very positive thing and I

sits exam for

Sourcing Director in early February to seek think other companies will be looking at what they’re
clarification of their position. We are in the process of doing and thinking will this give them market share.
arranging a similar meeting with the Arcadia Group. Trent said: “Those two companies are putting into
On January 29, Dave Lewis, NUS Treasurer, said: practice supply chain tracking mechanisms that will

A City investment banker who held senior
“NUS strives to attain the highest level of ethical and
environmental standards in dealing with its commercial
partners. As such, we take the allegations against Matalan
allow them to be sure where their cotton is coming
from and be sure it’s not coming from Uzbekistan.
“In our discussions with them, certainly Tesco,
and Arcadia extremely seriously, and we will be meeting they were very keen at every stage to point out
positions at Bank of America and Credit
with Matalan’s Sourcing Director in early February to that they didn’t want to come out with a hallow
Suisse may face jail after posing as a university
seek clarification of their position. We are in the process statement that would later be proved false.”
undergraduate in order to help a student cheat
of arranging a similar meeting with the Arcadia Group. Arcadia Group said: “We requested that our suppliers
his way through his final-year economics exams.
“We believe that NUS can have a greater impact check on their raw cotton sources, and nothing
Jerome Drean, 34, the former head of European
on ethical standards by constructively engaging untoward has been reported to us by them, nor have
equity derivatives trading at Credit Suisse,
with companies. The positive results of our past we found anything untoward ourselves at this time.”
pretended to be Elnar Askerov, a 22-year-
discussions with the likes of Coca-Cola, Pepsi and Matalan stated it “is taking the issue seriously and is in
old Azerbaijani economics student at the
Coors are publicly available on our website. However, consultation with it suppliers to understand the extent
University of York. Although there was no
we would like to emphasise that if NUS feels that of the issue. Appropriate action will be taken after the
physical resemblance, Drean is believed to have
its concerns are being ignored, we will not hesitate inquiry, which will be finalised in the coming weeks.”
sat eight exams over a period of 18 months,
to bring an end to any commercial relationship.” When EJF first started looking into this, companies
using a false identity card to pose as Askerov.
It is clear the work by barefacts and Newsnight didn’t have an idea where cotton was coming
The two men pleaded guilty at York
have put pressure on the NUS and Britain’s clothing from – their initial response was we can’t track it.
crown court yesterday to conspiring
companies. The report has seen two leading high “That has changed over the last two or three
to defraud the University of York.
street companies change their policies and the NUS years,” said Trent, “through to the point where two
Drean and Askerov were told they will face
setting tougher demands on the companies that it has of the biggest names on the UK high street have
stiff punishments when they are sentenced next
a relationship with. This will hopefully be the start of taken action – it is something others can emulate.
month. Judge Stephen Ashurst said: “I want
a positive change for the lives of children around the “There’s no longer any mileage in the claim
you to both understand, and you are clearly
world who are forced into terrible labour conditions. you can’t track cotton. Companies are doing
intelligent men, that all sentencing options
EJF have spent three years drawing attention to it, showing it can be done and it can be done
including custody will be considered,” he said.
the plight of child labour and was instrumental in in as an economic reality and can be policed.”
Alexander Cameron QC, defending, said the men had
getting retailers to stop using child labour. It put Trent, said: “Clothing manufacturers and retailers have
not realised what they had done was a criminal offence.
pressure on all suppliers to change their practices. an obligation to look beyond the sweatshops and into the
York University is now planning to
Tesco and M&S have put Corporate Social cotton fields. Corporate enterprises must make a critical
introduce biometric technology to
Responsibility into practice by banning Uzbek cotton as assessment of their role, and seek new means to source
prevent any repetition of the scam.
the case of Uzbek cotton has been comprehensively proven. environmentally sustainable and socially equitable cotton.”
These two companies have come out and taken a lead.
4 NEWS 6th February 2008

Universities shun new diplomas

By Ben Miller

Almost four out of 10 universities are unlikely to Other comments include: “I would be unhappy for degree study in computer science”.
accept students applying with the new Diploma to admit students just on the strength of This might seem like bad news for the Diploma, but the
qualifications, says a survey of admissions officers. their Diploma” and “Students interested in chair of the 1994 Group, Steve Smith, vice-chancellor
The Diploma is being promoted by the government studying law are more likely to do A-levels.” of Exeter University, says it is more a case of universities
as an alternative to the traditional A-level. The report also concludes that the IT saying “wait and see” rather than an outright rejection.
But this survey of leading research universities says Diploma “is not an adequate preparation “We want to make the Diplomas work,” says Professor
that 38% of admissions tutors are “unlikely” Smith. “So we want the government to engage
or “very unlikely” to accept Diplomas. more closely with universities to make sure
Just under half (48%) said they that the Diplomas can have equal esteem.”
were “very likely” to accept them. And Professor Smith says the reforms
The first Diplomas are to be introduced this have the potential to “become a radical
autumn - and the reaction of universities has been alternative to the existing curriculum”.
seen as important for their future credibility. This group of universities, representing
This survey, carried out by the 1994 Group of the mainstream of traditional research
major research universities, gives a mixed message universities such as Durham, St Andrews,
- saying that universities want the qualification Exeter, Warwick and Goldsmiths, will
to succeed, but warning that at present there be a key test for the new Diplomas.
remains considerable uncertainty about its value. They currently admit the type of A-
Asked about the “likelihood of accepting level students who will soon be offered
applicants from Diplomas to undergraduate Diplomas as an alternative. If these
courses”, 48% of admissions tutors said students are worried that universities are
“very likely”, 5% “likely”, 9% “possible”, not going to value the new qualifications,
2% “not likely” and 36% “very unlikely”. it will be difficult to persuade them
There are quotes from university to change from the “gold
departments about their misgivings. standard” of the A-level.
“No currently-proposed Diploma has the right And if university applicants reject
focus,” said a maths tutor. Diploma courses there could be a
“At present, I would prioritise students with two-tier system, in which Diplomas
traditional are seen as a vocational option, less
A-level qualifications,” said an education tutor. prestigious than an academic A-level.

Surrey Prof attacks nuclear go-ahead

By Ben Miller

The green light for the construction of new paper published on Thursday said the additional waste insufficient, the government would be forced to pay up.
nuclear power stations given by ministers last generated by a new generation of reactors could be The Department of Business, Enterprise and
week has been attacked by the government’s stored on-site in temporary facilities for 100 years or Regulatory Reform said it was not true that
watchdog for sustainable development. more. Mr Bulkin said it would be “totally irresponsible no consensus prevailed on how to deal with
In one of its strongest critiques of policy, the to commission a new generation of nuclear power nuclear waste. It said it was making progress on
Sustainable Development Commission, which stations when there is no clear consensus on how finding a site for the proposed disposal facility.
is independent but funded by the government, to deal with the nuclear waste they will produce”.
criticised ministers for their “inadequate The government has insisted the costs of investing
response to the legitimate concerns expressed by in new nuclear power stations should be borne by
the general pub¬lic over new nuclear power”. the private sector. It said that the funds to pay for
Tim Jackson of Surrey University, who is responsible the eventual decommissioning and waste-disposal
for economics on the commission, said: “They costs of the new reactors would be so generously
have carried out a consultation and then ridden financed that the taxpayer would end up with the
roughshod over the results of that consultation.” bill “only in the most extreme circumstances”.
Bernie Bulkin, the energy commissioner, said the It also emerged the government was looking at the
SDC believed building a new generation of nuclear possibility that operators of new nuclear power
power stations “remains the wrong option” and policy stations could get tax relief on contributions into
should instead focus on other forms of electricity those funds. But it confirmed on Thursday that
generation and on cutting the demand for energy. The if those costs soared far beyond expectations, the
commission’s concerns centre on waste disposal and cost. government would ultimately bear the liability.
The government has not yet reached a decision on Prof Jackson said there was a risk of “moral hazard”,
the site for a repository for Britain’s nuclear waste, meaning generators would try to limit contributions
after more than 30 years of debate. The nuclear white into the funds knowing that if the money put aside were
6th February 2008 NEWS & COLUMNS 5

Students missing A word from

out on bursaries
By Ben Miller The report is the first official analysis
Alex Collins .....
of the new funding arrangements.
At least 12,000 students from Some universities have also
low income homes failed to reportedly over-estimated the the survey, but to get £6000 for grad
claim bursaries they were entitled number of students they are ball, we need 80% to fill it out, so if
to last year, according to The recruiting from lower-income you haven’t done it yet - get it done!!!
Office of Fair Access – OFFA backgrounds, so their budgets Since top up fees came about the
– the universities’ watchdog. have been “too large to spend”. University has had to put aside about
Universities failed to allocate £19m The higher education minister, 1/3rd of those for something called
in bursaries, amounting to 16.5% of Bill Rammell, said that more the Access Agreement Fund - A pot of
their bursary budgets, Offa reports, students than ever in the money that has to be put to one side
concluding that universities are UK were going to university. to improve The Student Experience.
paying back in bursaries significantly But David Baker, chair of the The meeting to decide on the money
less than was promised of the higher education colleges’ body, for the 2008/09 academic year was
£500m they raised in top-up fees. GuildHE, says many of the on Thursday and we allocated around
Many students in England traditional, “pre-1992” universities £1m of the fund to various bids - full
are unaware they are entitled are not doing enough to reach details in the next issue of barefacts.
to £1,000 grants. Students out to students from poor and The 2009 project group met on Friday
who come from homes with an disadvantaged communities. “It’s to look at the impact of the academic
income of less than £25,000 a not been something that’s been year changing in 2009. Main issues were
year are automatically entitled to part of their culture,” he says. examinations happening after Christmas
I was excited this week by the prospect
a bursary from their university. “Poor families are very debt and a move from the university to minimise
of RAG getting going again here at Surrey,
The report on student funding averse. Universities need to build formal sit down exams, and if they happen
after a trip to Leeds last week where I saw
in England reveals that the relationships much earlier - reaching have them at the end of the year. Also
the amazing things RAG can do, I was really
problem is even more extensive out to schools in disadvantaged areas.” it will mean PG and UG all start at the
excited by the prospect of working on that
and affects many of the middle- Sir Peter Lampl, head of the same time, which would allow everyone to
at Surrey. Ash (VP Welfare) is leading the
ranking universities which are education charity the Sutton Trust, benefit from the fresher’s week festivities.
reinvention of RAG and we met up on
educating the bulk of students says: “Government, schools and This week the Green Group also had it’s
Monday evening in Rubix with an open
from disadvantaged backgrounds. colleges should take note. Young first meeting - update on website coming
bill - Anyone interested in RAG? - Well,
But Offa estimates that up to 20% people need better information before soon - email ussu.environment@surrey.
yes actually, quite a few people were! About
of eligible students did not claim. they have made their higher education for more details...
50 people turned up and we had a good
Offa director Sir Martin Harris choices. Simple steps like these On a personal level, after watching
discussion about RAG at Surrey.....I’m
said he was surprised by the low could have an important impact.” Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall on
looking forward to the next meeting, and
take-up. “Many institutions have NUS vice-president Wes Streeting Channel 4 I think we should stop
hopefully we will have a RAG committee
made strenuous efforts to increase said it was disturbing to see buying non free range chicken - hence
voted in this semester ready to get some
take-up by improving their bursary thousands of students missing out. the below! - Sign up now!!! Alex xxx
events going after Easter....for more details
awareness campaigns,” he said. “This is the black hole in the
email Ash
David Barrett, assistant director underspending and we want to
The National Student Survey (NSS)
of Offa, said that the 12,000 know why institutions haven’t made
is now in it’s 2nd week and I love Surrey
students who missed bursaries more efforts to find the students
fever has swept across the campus, around
for which they would have been who need and deserve this money.
a quarter of final years have filled in
eligible could account for up to “This report underlines our view
£12m of the unspent £19m. that the current system is failing
Halfway through last year to deliver on the government’s
many colleges set up information widening access agenda,” he said. Do you have any opinions or
campaigns aimed at students, but Sally Hunt, general secretary of questions you want to ask
Offa has written to a number of the University and College Union, Alex?
institutions to reprimand them said: “The complicated system
for failing to be active enough in of bursaries, grants and fees is no
identifying the missing students. doubt confusing many students
Or maybe you have a
And it has written to a number and is clearly not working well.” comment on something else
of institutions which “could that is happening at Surrey?
have been more pro-active”.
There were problems with the Email your submissions
forms students have to fill in to
get fee and bursary support, but
they have now been made clearer.
6 NEWS & COMPETITION 6th February 2008

News Flash
Apples go ‘green’ Perfect time to take up a new skill
Research at Surrey has shown that British apples are better for the environment Based at the University of Surrey, Campusdance
during autumn and winter, but in spring and summer it is ‘greener’ to import features courses for breakers, ballerinas, salseros
them. Dr Llorenç Milà I Canals said: “By May, apples harvested in Britain and lyndy hoppers, wannabe Fred Astaire
have been kept in refrigerated storage for more than six months, which uses a and even for fans of parkour or poledance.
lot of energy. At that point, it becomes better to import from New Zealand.”
Union Shop
Lip reading The union shop is now twice as big as before. It is
Experts at CVSSP at Surrey University located right at the front of the Students’ Union
together with researchers at the University and is now selling all sorts of Chinese, Indian and
of East Anglia, have developed advanced Italian food. It’s open Monday to Friday 10am-6pm.
face and lip motion tracking systems.

African Cup of Nations Football

The African Cup of Nations Football has will be shown at Chancellors.

GU2 Radio
Accessible tourism is money spinner GU2 Radio is now proudly playing in chancellors throughout the day.
Recent research by the University of Surrey estimated that You can listen to GU2 online and on 1350MW -
127 million people would benefit from accessible tourism.

Film makers chance to go all geographical

Budding film makers will have a chance to showcase their work when the
Geographical Association Conference comes to the University of Surrey in
March. Students are asked to make a short film about the geography of their area.

Psychology students chance to

“Get published”
University of Surrey under/post graduate psychology students are invited £750 and see their work published on where it will be
to take part in a unique competition to get their research published and read by businesses worldwide. The author of the published work that has
win £1500 through ‘Get Published’, a competition run by Cognisco. the highest number of downloads by 30th June 2008 will receive a further
Recent research from Cognisco, a global market-leader in online £1500 and offered the opportunity to gain work experience at Cognisco.
assessment and learning, has found that a staggering 23 per cent of Mary Clarke, CEO of Cognisco commented: “Our insight into the
employees misunderstand at least one crucial aspect of their job, and way organizations work and their staff behave is built on the work of
are inviting students with an interest in occupational psychology to talented psychologists. That’s why, we believe it is essential to support
use their research to help businesses explore the cost of this statistic. and reward the next generation of psychologists. Our competition will
Cognisco is inviting students to submit ensure bright young talent has the opportunity to work with some
research on one of the following topics; of the UK’s leading occupational psychologists and help shape and
- Employee understanding and competence in their role inform global businesses on the true cost of employee incompetence.”
- The advantages and disadvantages of evaluating worker’s performance
- How learning and training can be assessed effectively. The Cognisco ‘Get Published’ competition closes on 31st May 2008.
A full list of topic areas and further competition Students interested in entering the competition should contact:
details can be found at
Students are also being invited to join the dedicated Anthony Harrison
Facebook and Bebo groups ‘Psychology students ‘Get E:
Published’ and win cash’ to discuss topic areas and ideas. T: 01234 757520
All entries will be judged by Cognisco’s in-house team of occupational Or download an entry form from .
psychologists and experts, including Jane Massey, Return on Investment
Institute leader in the UK. Ten successful winners will win a cash prize of
6th February 2008 THE FOOD OF LOVE 7
Want to share your recipes with the rest of us Surrey
students? Then email the Barefacts food editor Verity
Chocolate chip cookies
Makes 16
at by the 15th of February. Ingredients
70g cater sugar

Homemade Version of Classic

70g brown sugar
115g butter
140g plain flour

Crispy Fish and Chips

1 egg beaten
175g milk chocolate chips
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
Serves two Method ½ tsp vanilla essencee
Ingredients Firstly make the topping. Finely chop the parsley, ¼ tsp salt
2 fillets of white fish (cod, hake mix with the butter and breadcrumbs. Lay out Method
or haddock) some foil and put the mixture on top. Spread it Preheat oven to 190 ºC. in a large mixing bowl beat the butter with both
30g low fat spread out with the back of a spoon in to a square, about lots of sugar until creamy. Add the egg and vanilla essence and beat until
50g breadcrumbs half a centimetre thick. Cover with another sheet smooth. Stir in the flour salt and bicarbonate of soda. Add the chocolate
15g fresh parsley of foil and put it in the fridge for 15mins. Pre heat chips and stir until they are evenly spread through the mixture. Butter your
1 tsp wholegrain mustard the oven to 200 ºC and get your accompanying baking trays and spoon small mounds of mixture on to then leaving space for
Salt and pepper vegetables and potatoes ready. Line a baking tray them to spread. To make heart shaped cookies place the mounds inside
Serve with chips and colourful with foil. Spread the mustard over the fillets and different sized heart shaped cutters on with enough mixture to spread and fill
vegetables season with salt and pepper. Cut the topping them. Bake the cookies for 10mins until golden brown and slightly soft in the
You will also need some foil in to two squares and place on top of the fillets. centre. Allow to cool.
Bake uncovered on the foil for 30mins. Serve with
potatoes and vegetables.

Cook a romantic valentine’s meal!
Make something your confident
cooking or try cooking their favourite
Smoothie food. Include some finger food or
perhaps push the boat out with seafood
and don’t forget chocolate.
What you need:
1 mango peeled and stoned
or 150g tinned mango slices
1/3 cantaloupe melon
deseeded and cut in to cubes Serves 6
1 banana sliced
1 cold vanilla yoghurt
4 chicken breasts
cut in to cubes
Chicken Pasta Bake
Whiz together with a blender 300g pasta
or hand blender, pour in to a 450g can of tomato soup
glass and enjoy 90g sour cream
2 tsp olive oil
1 onion chopped
1 carrot diced
3 bacon rashers chopped
2 courgettes diced

Vegetable Patch
1 tsp dried mixed herbs
150g grated cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper
Serve with some crunchy
The excuse that vegetables take too long or
involve too much washing up can no longer be
used - microwave them! For fresh vegetables Cook the pasta in a large pan of boiling water. Preheat the oven to
microwave with a few teaspoons of water for 200 ºC. Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Fry the chicken, bacon,
2mins, frozen and canned can go straight in. onion and carrot for 10 minutes. Add the soup and courgettes and
Peas, Broccoli, Carrots, Leek, Sweet corn, simmer for a further 5 minutes. Remove from the heat. Combine
Mange tout, Green beans and Baked beans the pasta, chicken sauce, sour cream, herbs, salt and pepper. Pour in
all taste great micro waved. to an ovenproof dish and top with the cheese. Bake for 20 minutes
until golden.
8 SCIENCE 6th February 2008

The long
Book of
est kiss
listed in
the Guin
Random Facts
incredib W o r ld R ness it’s reported that more than 10,000
le 417 ho ecords lasted an marriages a year now are directly
urs.So g
et practi traceable to romances which begin during
coffee breaks.
15% of U.S. women send themselves
flowers on Valentine’s Day
About 3% of pet owners will give
Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.

the most h a t St . Valent
Valentine’s ’t u n t il 1537 t fficial holiday
. It wasn an o d
w a s d eclared y VIII declare e
Day nr th
King He y in 1537 for
England’s a ho li d a
a ry 14th e.
F e b r u first tim

Hoax Buster:
By Sam Brett
Shedding light on black holes
on them. They occur when a star several times the mass of the sun reaches the end
The term black-hole is thrown around quite a lot, especially when the media talk of its life and begins to collapse under its own gravity. If it cannot reach a form of
about things like the NHS. One more familiar to the student body would be the equilibrium it will continue to collapse under its own gravity eventually causing what
student union, it seems to suck you in and you have no power to escape. Unlike is known as a singularity. This is a point where the mass of the star occupied an
black-holes, the union spits you back out into the freezing night leaving you to infinitely small volume. Initially it was thought that this point occupied no volume
stumble home with empty pockets and the early stages of a hangover. But what are at all, however it is now thought that it occupies an incredibly small, yet finite space.
black-holes? To be able to understand this I need to explain something called ‘ 4- A black hole is the equivalent on our trampoline model of the surface stretching
Dimensional Space-Time’, which may sound terrifying but is honestly not that bad. down to an infinite depth. As you know from sci-fi movies, black holes suck things
Everyone should be familiar with normal into them, but the important thing is that the pull is so
three dimensional space; length, width and strong that even light cannot escape. All masses have a
depth. However when you are asked to add gravitational pull. To escape this pull their is something
a forth dimension, usually time, things get called an escape velocity, which is the speed you need
a wee bit more complicated. So to be able to travel to escape the pull of the mass’s gravity. For
to picture this we ignore or compress one example on earth the escape velocity is 11km/s.
of the spacial dimensions, so we can add Any slower and it will still be under the influence of
time in to our limited 3D imaginations. the earths gravity. This is like our marble sitting on the
The world of space-time is a bit like the curve as the dip of the bowling ball pulls it downwards.
surface of a trampoline, but with less chance Now, because the black-hole has a really strong
of broken bones. Imagine putting a mass on gravitational field, beyond a certain point the escape velocity
the surface, it would stretch it down towards is more than the speed of light. This means that light even
the ground. Now image having a really large gets sucked it… I guess thats where ‘black’ bit comes from.
trampoline where things won’t roll into the This point where light can’t even escape from is called the ‘
centre. If we place a bowling ball at a place Schwarzschild Radius’ or as the ‘Event Horizon’. The best
on the surface, it will cause a large dip in way to think about this is a ‘point of no return’ from which
the elasticated surface. If we then try to nothing can escape. Further out from the singularity escape
roll a marble from one end to the other, the is possible but requires a high speed, obviously the further
dip caused by the bowling ball with have an away the less the pull, therefore the less speed needed.
affect on the route of the marble. Obviously If the earth, by some very improbable cause of events,
the marble and any other mass would also cause a dip. This effect is analogous like England winning any sporting event, happened to become a black hole,
with gravity’s effect on something passing a planet…. But a hell of a lot bigger! it would have an Event Horizon of about 9mm, or the size of our marble. The
One effect of this is that when there is a solar eclipse we can detect stars Event Horizon is a way of thinking of the size of the black hole, however this is
that are actually behind the sun, only the path of the light is bent around the not the size of the singularity. The singularity would be on the sub-atomic scale.
dip in space-time caused by the sun. We know this because we have accurate Basically, black-holes are inter-galactic hoovers. They almost certainly exist, but
maps of stars which we can see at different times of yearBlack-holes are they must be pretty difficult to see, seeing as space is black after all. Just make
technically still theoretical, but | think most Physicists would put their money sure one doesn’t creep up on you on the walk home from the union this week!
6th February 2008 SCIENCE 9

The Science of Flirting

There are certain things you can do that might help your date go with
a bang - and turn into something more serious.
Ditch the chat up lines When we are aroused and interested in what we are looking at our pupils dilate. In
It can take between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone. But medieval Italy, women put belladonna into their eyes to make them look bigger. In
this has little to do with your smooth-talking. As far as attraction goes, here’s how fact, bella donna means ‘beautiful lady’. However, this is not recommended, as
we get the message: belladonna is a kind of poison!
• 55% is through body language
• 38% is the tone and speed of our voice Match their moves
• Only 7% is through what we say When people are attracted to each other, they tend
to sit or stand in the same way and copy each other’s
Stare into each others’ eyes physical gestures. This is known as ‘mirroring’. When
New York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying the dynamics of someone does this, it marks good communication
what happens when people fall in love. He has shown that the simple act of staring and shows us that our interest is reciprocated.
into each other’s eyes has a powerful impact. Mirroring also happens when talking to close
He asked two complete strangers to reveal to each other intimate details about their friends as well as potential lovers, so be careful as
lives. This carried on for an hour and a half. The two strangers were then made to you may misread signs of friendship as signs of love.
stare into each others eyes without talking for four minutes. Afterwards many of his
couples confessed to feeling deeply attracted to their opposite number and two of
his subjects even married afterwards.

What Makes You Fancy Someone?

Appearance could be another indicator of the quality of a person’s genes. Research suggests that there are
certain things we all look for - even if we don’t know it. Mummy’s boys and Daddy’s girls?
Perfect symmetry The latest studies indicate that what people really,
It is thought that asymmetrical features are a sign really want is a mate that looks like their parents.
of underlying genetic problems. Numerous studies Women are after a man who is like their father and
in humans have shown that men in particular go for men want to be able to see their own mother in the
women with symmetrical faces. The preference in woman of their dreams.
women for symmetry is not quite so pronounced. At the University of St Andrews in Scotland, cognitive
Women are also looking for a man’s ability to offer psychologist David Perrett studies what makes faces
food and protection. This might not be indicated in attractive. He has developed a computerised morphing
their genes, but in their rank and status, for example. system that can endlessly adjust faces to suit his
The hour-glass figure needs.
Studies have shown that men prefer women with a Students in his experiments are left to decide which
waist to hip ratio of 0.7. You can calculate your own face they fancy the most. Perrett has taken images
using this formula: of students’ own faces and morphed them into the
opposite sex. Of all the faces on offer, this seems to
waist measurement ÷ hip measurement = ratio. be the face that subject will always prefer. They can’t
This seems to apply whatever the woman’s overall recognize it as their own, they just know they like it.
weight. A group of researchers even compared Perrett suggests that we find our own faces attractive
this ratio with the average ratio of Miss America because they remind us of the faces we looked at
winners over the years. It was exactly the same. This constantly in our early childhood years - Mum and
ratio would seem to make sense as an indicator of a Learn to love yourself Dad. Even the pheromone studies are now showing a
woman’s reproductive health. When women age their Have you noticed how many married couples look quite preference for our parents’ characteristics.
waist tends to become less pronounced as they put similar? Studies have shown that more than anything
on fat around the stomach. This coincides with them we prefer somebody who looks just like we do. From a
becoming less fertile. batch of individual photographs people can spot who
are the couples with unnerving reliability.
Research has uncovered that there is a correlation in
couples between their:
• Lung volumes
• Middle finger lengths
• Ear lobe lengths
• Overall ear size
• Neck and wrist circumferences
• Metabolic rates

continued on next page
10 SCIENCE & COMMERCIAL BREAK 6th February 2008

Sniffing out Mr or Mrs social relationships, identify the from their own. This parallels what what women want most is a man who
Right sex of fellow rats and find a mate. happens with rodents, who check- smells similar to her father. Scientists
Human pheromones are a hot topic in In 1985, researchers at the out how resistant their partners are to suggest that a woman being attracted
research.They are odourless chemicals University of Colorado found disease by sniffing their pheromones. to her father’s genes makes sense.
detected by an organ in the nose. evidence that this organ also exists So it seems we are also at the mercy of A man with these genes would be
Some scientists believe they could be in most adult humans. So humans our lover’s pheromones, just like rats. similar enough that her offspring
the key to choosing a suitable lover. could also respond to pheromones. would get a tried and tested immune
Rats have different pheromones in Fatherly fragrances system. On the other hand, he would
Love rats their urine, depending on the make- At the University of Chicago, Dr be different enough to ensure a
Pheromones are already well up of their immune system. When Martha McClintock has shown in wide range of genes for immunity.
understood in other mammals, rats choose a mate, they must avoid her own sweaty T-shirt study that There seems to be a drive to reach
especially rodents. These animals partners with an immune system too a balance between reckless out-
possess something called a similar to their own, so that their breeding and dangerous inbreeding.
‘vomeronasal organ’ (or VNO) inside babies can fight off a wider range of
their noses. They use it to detect infections. As well as lurking in urine,
pheromones in the urine of other rats pheromones are also found in sweat.
and use this extra sense to understand
Love is...a sweaty T-
shirt competition
In 1995, Claus Wedekind of the
If you have any University of Bern in Switzerland,
asked a group of women to smell
submissions some unwashed T-shirts worn by
for our science section different men. What he discovered
was that women consistently
preferred the smell of men whose immune systems were different
6th February 2008 COMMERCIAL BREAK 11
12 DR NO .... I MEAN DR RUSS 6th February 2008

Dr Russ replies... Assessment Centres

Russ Clark from Surrey’s career service answers some question which may just sound familiar...

Why do employers use assessment centres? How can I prepare for them?

There was a time when an interview was enough to convince an First of all, we have a useful leaflet on assessment centres in the
employer whether you were right for a job or not. However, studies Careers Service and on our website
have shown that interviews alone are not always reliable. On the which provides a few tips on how you might prepare. You might also
one hand, people don’t always turn out as you expect them to when like to think about getting some practice at an Assessment Centre
they actually start their job. On the other, many of the attributes Workshop. The next one of these will be on Wednesday 6 February
which certain jobs require such as numerical ability or team-working and you can book your place by dropping into the Careers Service
skills are very difficult to measure in an interview. As a result, some beforehand. I will be giving a talk on assessment centres on 4
employers, particularly those recruiting for trainee management February at 1 pm in LTB. There is a good video you can watch in the
positions, have devised alternative assessment procedures. They Careers Service and some of the employer skills workshops running
usually bundle all these together in the form of selection centres or this semester will also cover certain aspects of assessment centres.
assessment centres. Details are on our web site.

How can I know what to expect? What about aptitude tests?

If you’re not told in advance what sort of exercises they are going to If you’d like to try a practice aptitude test, we are running sessions on
put you through you can try to work it out. The clue to it all is the 7 February and 20 February. Once again, you will need to book your
job description. What sort of person are they looking for? If they place in advance. These will be pencil and paper versions similar
want numerate applicants it’s not unreasonable to expect a test to to those which many employers still use. However, we are close to
measure this. If you will be required to display self-confidence in the providing an on-line test which you will be able to take whenever you
job, they may ask you to give a presentation in order to assess this. like. We will publicise this widely as soon as it is up and running.
If assertiveness is a requirement, you are highly likely to face some
sort of group discussion to see how persuasively you communicate.
If the job requires people who can write clear and effective English,
you may be asked to draft a letter or précis a document.
6th February 2008 FROM FEATURES WITH LOVE 13

Does puzzlelord have a

heart after all?

Clues Across: 25) Negotiating to reduce the price of a

7) Jim -----: Original host of Bullseye. (5) good or service. (8)
8) The footballers who Tony Hawks was 26) Star sign of someone born on the 12th
required to play football against. (9) of May. (6)
10) Capital city of Canada. (6) 27) The business of mounting and stuffing
11) Weak; lethargic; lifeless. (8) animals. (9)
12) Medieval Parisian prison, stormed on 28) See 5 down.
14th of July 1789. (8)
13) Mount ----: Active Sicillian volcano. (4)
15) See 9 down.
17) Climbs; rises. (7)
20) 19th century US political party,
Clues Down:
1) In tennis, a penalty called if a player’s feet
touch the ground inside the baseline while
serving. (4, 5)
represented by former presidents William
Henry Harrison and Zachary Taylor. (4)
22) In astronomy, as star that has exhausted
its supply of hydrogen, causing it to expand.
2) Exited; dead. (8) (3, 5)
3) ------- Dam: Former name of the Hoover

Dam in Nevada. (7)
4) Ulysses: hero of Homer’s Odyssey. (8)
5) and 28 across. English writer, author of
Brideshead Revisited. (6, 5)
6) Strong anxiety about life in general. (5)
9) and 15 across. The part of the body also
known as the cholecyst. (4, 7)
14) Scottish city, location of the annual
Fringe comedy festival. (9)
16) Cooking clock, for example, note
dubious merit. (Cryptic) (3, 5)
18) An anaesthetic injection into the spinal
column. (8)
19) Japanese art of paper folding. (7)
21) Scottish dish comprising sheep’s heart
and lungs boiled in stomach. (6)
23) Character portrayed by Brent Spiner in
Star Trek: The Next Generation. (4)
24) Middle-Eastern state bordered by Saudi
Arabi and the Persian Gulf. (5)
14 HOROSCOPES 6th February 2008

Almost Accurate Astrology

Our resident astrologer Ophelia Balls is back with some horoscopes of love

Aquarius (January 21 - February 20)

A person with a lust for you, has been wounded by your recent actions .However
even though they are taken ,don’t be to hasty to push them away ,you could be in
for some drunken fun ;). If your name begins with L, you will meet your dream
love on your birthday; look out for the letter M. Your lucky word is Charm

Pisces (February 21 - March 20)

This valentines day will be your best one yet,so chuck out you skid marked pants
and by yourself a kinky outfit.You are in for a sexy love ride .However, be aware
that your friends are around ,otherwise there could be some unpleasant surprises
for both parties involved.Your Lucky number is 1078

Aries (March 21 - April 20) Virgo (August 21 - September 20)

Unusually your fetish has been on the low lately, But be warned you take a fancy Your Tidying trait will be put to full use this week , after a messy night on
to frilly things this month so look out for that. A large bird is kind to you this Thursday .However your love life is on the up , that sexy someone is waiting for
week , take that how you will.Your lucky sound is a Car Horn you outside One Stop .So look out for them , they may just have a surprise for
you .Your lucky word is Treetop
Taurus (April 21 - May 20)

A recent object is at your disposal, use it to your advantage. The big space in the Libra ( September 21 - October 20)
back will come in handy for some sexy action on the 14th. Look out for a strange
hair in your soup. Your lucky colour is Blue. You feel a bit under the weather these next few weeks, but don’t worry , you will
soon meet someone that will give you a boost , if you get my meaning . Lookout
for a sexy stranger with an umbrella . Your lucky foot is your right one.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

A recent conversation about love will come in handy this week , but don’t forget Scorpio (October 21- November 20)
your hard hat as you may need some protection on Friday. Someone you see in
the union on Wednesday will do something you will find erotic ,so be prepared That cat you trod on last Wednesday will get its vengeance on you this week.
for a thrilling ride.Your lucky flavour is Chocolate .A funny smell coming from your housemates room on the 5th might need
investigating but don’t forget the air freshner ,as you may not like what you find
. As for your love life look out for someone with a Z in their name as they could
Cancer (June 21 - July 20) be the one.Your lucky hair colour is Purple.

Whatever you do don’t look down this week .On a lighter note , that purple pair Sagittarius ( Novmber 21- December 20)
of pants comes in handy on Saturday night ,but make sure they are clean. Never
underestimate the power of CIF. Your lucky eye is your right one A recent object you have bought will bring happiness to your life. However look
out for approaching vulgar ness that lies ahead. Perhaps you should let your
secretly dirty mind run wild this Valentines day. You lucky colour is pink
Leo (July 21 - August 20)
Capricorn (December 21 - January 20)
You’ve been told to get a grip lately over a recent crush, Listen to your advisors
for they are wise.Any plans involving chocolate must be seriously considered, as After being sworn at for stroking that person in the union , you are not having
they may work to your advantage ;).However look out for that Red head you met much luck with love.Do not fear , your lucky day is just around the corner .look
recently they could be trouble. Your sexy day is Wednesday out for an animal with a message, it could leave you with a tingly feeling inside.
Your lucky smell in Raspberry
6th February 2008 PG TIPS 15

Valentine’s Day – the PGs

It seems acceptable on Valentine’s Day to make singletons feel a failure. Is this necessary,
especially now that people’s relationship status is now often displayed on their online profiles?
Then there is the proliferation of tacky cards and gifts. I am a massive fan of chocolate, but why
express affection through heart shaped calories so soon after Christmas? Is there any wonder the
whole thing is nauseating. Please, save the rainforest - and yourselves from tackiness – boycott
the whole thing and don’t send Valentine’s cards!

Alex Illsley

Valentine’s Day could be simply described as an excellent opportunity for couples to express
their love for one another with romantic gestures and gifts. However hazy the historical details
regarding the origins of Valentines Day (for those more educated Catholics out there) it has
simply become a tradition to show your significant other the more romantic side to your
personality. For those who search frantically to purchase expensive gifts or get that last available
table at your partner’s favourite restaurant on that special night why not burn your calendars and
make everyday February 14th for that extra special person in your life.

Brendan Freehill

Our survey says…..

On the 24th of January PG Tips’ romance

correspondent attended the PGA quiz and The list
curry. As it was a quiz they expected to see
a gathering of the finest UniS Postgraduate
minds who could sort this Valentine’s Day
Female celebrities
matter once and for all. Our correspondent
discovered that seven people were against 1. Eva Longoria
Valentine’s Day and one person was for. There
were a few abstentions. It was a small number but
2. Anne Widdecombe
nevertheless a victory for those who believe that 3. Dame Edna (the character is
Valentine’s Day is a commercialised tackfest. female!)
There was more participation when it came to
compiling a list of celebrity crushes. Jeremy
4. Angelina Jolie
Paxman was first to be included on the list 5. Britney Spears
(PG Tips can only wonder what his admirers
made of his recent underwear problems) along
with Anne Widdecombe and Dame Edna.
Male celebrities Come along to Wates House on Tuesday 5th February
The mention that PG Tips’ correspondent had for the PGA pancake eating competition
an advance vote for Desperate Housewife Eva 1. David Tennant – starts 8pm!
Longoria elicited suggestions such as Gerard

Have your say!

Butler and Angelina Jolie (no Brad Pitt?)
(The PG Tips editor’s decision is
PG Tips was concerned that David Tennant final on this one!)
was not mentioned and has taken an editorial 2. Jeremy Paxman
decision to amend this glaring oversight. It was Perhaps you would like to share your Valentine
also decided by the Postgraduates, in no uncertain
3. Gerard Butler experiences – good or bad? PG Tips would also be interested in
terms, that Bono was not to be included on the 4. Brad Pitt (for the purposes of seeing the tackiest Valentine’s card or gift that you postgraduates
list. PG Tips would like to thank all those who equality) have observed or were maybe lucky enough to receive.
participated in this not very scientific survey. Perhaps you would like to air your views on our list of celebrity
Disqualified from the list – Bono. crushes? Or maybe you would like to change the subject and write
16 COMMERCIAL BREAK 4th February 2008


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6th February 2008 OPINION 17

Bhutto’s Assassination and Pakistan’s Future

Hammad Baig the west has lost a crucial pawn in the grand scheme power, he is not bothered if the person at the helm of
of affairs. Fear not, there are many others who will affairs is a dictator or not he is only concerned with
Dilemma with the third world and its mainly corrupt gladly carry the flag; there are many who are ready to the mere basics.
leaders is such that every time a serious event occurs replace Bhutto, as we know the perks are great with
surrounding the leader, the whole nation has to suffer this job. Bhutto’s Assassination scene
directly and indirectly. My learned colleagues at the So when Bhutto is assassinated then perhaps
university have tried to inquire about this effect on At the blessings of the west Pakistan has tried somewhere someone may get effected by the death
Pakistan and her people after Bhutto. My assessment democracy on a number of occasions, it so turns out of this pawn, but the average Pakistani in fact a 160
is below. rather depressingly that perhaps democracy is not for Million of average Pakistani’s go in hiding, they hide
the east, definitely not for Pakistan. from the violence that erupts on the streets and they
Democracy has given Pakistan a repeat performance question whether they will be able to get some work
of Bhutto and Nawaz both have left no opportunity that day, which may earn them the daily $1 or will
behind to sabotage and nullify the countries resources their kids go to bed hungry? These are the choices that
for personal gains. the real Pakistan faces.

Bhutto and Nawaz Violence that erupted after assassination

In between these spells of so-called democracy the So when the media claims the death of democracy!
nation has also seen a fair share of dictators. The The average Pakistani feels lost, he does not know
dictators enjoyed a dual agenda they not only took on democracy, and the version of democracy he has seen
the path of the politicians and robbed the country of he wishes not to have again. Moreover he questions
its resources but also put their men and resources up democracy further, when he sees the democratic
to fight the west’s wars. political party of Pakistan establishing a fine example
of blood lineage by nominating Bhutto’s 19 year old
As the world comes to grip’s with the tragedy of the Bhutto and Musharaf son as the leader of the party. Democracy, yeah right!
assassination of Benazir Bhutto and as Pakistan moves So when such leaders die who mourns? Perhaps
forward towards further instability many question the Hammad is a second year law student at the university
those who were also benefiting from them being in and the V.P for the Pakistan Student’s Association, to
future. Those outside Pakistan sound more concerned power? The average person in Pakistan surviving on email him directly at
with the assassination of Bhutto then those in Pakistan, $1 per day, below all poverty indices is not bothered
perhaps the loss for those outside is greater? Indeed about this cat and mouse fight for the corridors of
18 FROM FEATURES WITH LOVE 6th February 2008

G ift Ideas! M ovies

Juno - In Theatres
Go order some flowers, cakes, candies, Among all those stupid movies
and cards. Many florists and big which are out now, Juno is the
companies like Tescos home deliver in the only one worth watching, which is
very morning of Valentines Day. Print why it is singled out! Juno is not
something romantic in a cup and give it your ordinary high school flick, it
to him/her. The ideas are endless; it’s up is so much more. It is the life of
to you to decide! a seventeen year old girl who faces
pregnancy, and her decisions along
the way where she begins to mature
as a woman.

P laces to Eat!

Guildford offers a lot of choices and varieties of restaurants for you perfect night out.
S ingled Out?

From exquisite wine to mouth-watering delicacies, here are some of our top choices. It is that time of the year again, those
Book early to avoid disappointment! remarkably vivid roses, heart-shaped
chocolates and fancy greeting cards,
The Thai Terrace yes its valentines day. However, it’s
Roof Top Restaurant, Castle Car Park, not all singing and dancing for all
Sydenham Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 of us, especially for those lonely
3RT singles and unpaired. Valentines
Telephone: 01483 503350 Day can bring upon self-doubt and
The Thai Terrace is an absolute delight of a depression over many individuals
restaurant with amazing panaromic views of as they may feel inferior and
Guildford and exotic array of dishes. unconfident in themselves. But we should always remember that Valentines
Avg. Cost = £28/person Day is just not about couples, it is for all of us. To make you “miserable”
people feel a bit better, barefacts has brought along many solutions to your
Loch Fyne Restaurants “alleged” loneliness.
Centenary Hall, Chapel Street, Guildford,
•Valentines Day can be discussed as a commercial holiday. Every year,
Surrey, GU1
the global market seamlessly throws away billions of pounds to indulge
Tel: 01483 230550 Web: www.lochfyne.
ourselves in their whirlpool of tactics to spend our hard earned money.
V-day is hardly about love and relationships these days, it is more about
Loch Fyne is the perfect destination if you
corporations making us spend extraneous amounts of money in petty
are craving for some sea-food. It also has a
gifts, cheap booze and thorny roses! Rather than giving up to this cheesy
bar separated from the main dining area to
marketing scam called Valentines Day, we should boycott it!
enjoy some pre-meal drinks!
Average Cost = £25/person •You look stupid when you’re in love. It’s a known fact. So if you’re single,
it’s the perfect time for you to “look” smarter that the rest of those idiots
Cambio Restaurant out there. Even though it is a bit cynical, we’re just trying to make ourselves
2- 4 South Hill, Guildford, Surrey GU1 3SY better, aren’t we?
Telephone: 01483 577702 •Let’s go down deep into the history books. Thousands of years ago in
Cambio is one of the finest and oldest Italian Rome, there was a romantic-priest (ironic, isn’t it?) who was imprisoned for
restaurants in Guildford. If you fancy a wide secretly marrying people while the emperor ruled out marriage to fund his
range of wines, great food and some “peace” military. As a result of disobeying the orders from the emperor, the priest
from all that Valentine buzz, Cambio is the named Valentine was brutally murdered on the 14th of February. So ask
place for you! yourself now, is V-day really that romantic of a day?
Avg. Cost = £25/person onwards •V-day can always be celebrated with friends and family i.e. people who you
love and vice versa. And of course, you have the option of not watching
those down to earth corny romantic movies and pretend to like it.
Don’t have that much of money to dash on •Write an article for us! Yes, it’s not the most brilliant idea, but it keeps
your loved ones? There’s always an alternative! Verity, our very own Food editor, has her your head off from the valentine buzz. is the email
page dedicated to Valentine dishes! After all, nothing is more romantic that cooking for address if you do manage to write one!
your loved one.
All in all, enjoy your time being single. You may never feel the same again
(for all the good reasons)!
6th February 2008 COMMERCIAL BREAK 19
20 COMMERCIAL BREAK 6th February 2008

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6th February 2008 COMMERCIAL BREAK 21
22 LGBT HISTORY MONTH 6th February 2008

LGBT History month at

The Origins & Importance of LGBT History Month
This February is the 4th LGBT History Month in the UK. LGBT stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender but is intended to include anyone who
identifies themselves as differing from heterosexuality or the gender that society has ascribed to them. LGBT History Month was started in 2005 mainly as an
educational scheme to teach schoolchildren about LGBT issues following the withdrawal of Section 28* in 2003. It is locally focused, with events organised at
grassroots level by groups around the country. Details of some of these events can be found on the LGBT History Month website at

It is important to mark the history of LGBT people as they have been excluded from mainstream explanations of history, even in research meant to encompass the
entire population. There have also been several examples of people being persecuted because of their actual or perceived LGBT status. By raising awareness of LGBT issues it
is hoped that future occurrences of such discrimination can be avoided and homophobia can be reduced by educating the broader community. We are privileged as students
in the UK to have the freedom to express ourselves relatively openly so I feel obliged to ensure LGBT History Month is observed. There are other LGBT people in the UK
and in other countries all over the world that cannot make their voices heard, because they have no opportunity, or they are stigmatised, or it is simply not safe to do so.

Was he? Wasn’t she?

So we all know about Oscar Wilde. But

how many other LGBT historical figures
are there?
A Timeline of Recent LGBT History Here are a few names you might
By Anastasia Lynn-smith Alan Turing 1912 - 1954 Guildford’s own
1967 - Male homosexuality legalised in England and Wales (female founder of modern computing.
Francis Bacon 1561 - 1626 Philosopher Convicted for homosexuality in 1952 and
homosexuality was never made illegal as Queen Victoria would and founder of modern scientific method. underwent a year of hormonal injections
not sign the declaration banning homosexuality until it neglected Bacon’s sexuality is disputed. as an alternative to imprisonment. Died of
to mention women as she thought female homosexuality did not Lord Byron 1788 - 1824 Romantic-era cyanide poisoning, the death was ruled as
poet who had many love affairs with men a suicide.
exist.1) and women. Michael Dillon 1915 - 1962 British doctor,
Ralph Waldo Emerson 1803 - 1882 and the first person to undergo female-to-
1969 - Stonewall Riots in USA. Formation of the Gay Liberation American writer, famous for essays such as male sex reassignment surgery.
‘Self-Reliance’. Emerson’s poetry suggests Marlon Brando 1924 - 2004 Godfather,
Front. infatuations with several young men at Apocalypse Now and Streetcar Named
Harvard. Desire star.
1970 - First Gay Pride march in London. Emily Dickinson 1830-1886 Reclusive Alan Bennet b.1934 Talking Heads author,
poet with a love for white clothing. wrote openly about his homosexuality after
Published less than ten of her 1800 poems. undergoing cancer treatment in 1997.
1980 - Homosexuality legalised in Scotland. Communicated with others by letter, Deirdre McCloskey 1942 American
including passionate notes to women. economist, author and transgender woman.
Eleanor Roosevelt 1884 - 1962 US First Ann Bancroft b.1955 First woman to cross
1981 - First reports about a new disease called AIDS. Lady, married to Franklin D. Wrote over the ice to the North Pole.
two thousand letters to her confidant, Simon Bailey 1955 - 1995 - Gay Anglican
1982 - Homosexuality legalised in Northern Ireland. Lorena Hickok, who may also have been priest.
her lover. Ellen deGeneres b.1958 - Comedian and
Mercedes de Acosta 1893 - 1968 Poet, actress. Came out on the Oprah Winfrey
1988 - Section 28 of the Local Government Act becomes law playwright, costume designer and socialite. show. In a relationship with Portia di Rossi
making it illegal for councils or government bodies to ‘intentionally Had affairs with actresses Marlene Dietrich (Nelle from AllyMcBeal).
and Greta Garbo. Mary Cheney b.1969 Daughter of US vice-
promote homosexuality’. Tallulah Bankhead 1902 - 1968 Openly president Dick Cheney.
bisexual American actress and talk-show Brandon Teena - 1972 - 1993 Transgender
2000 - The age of consent for gay men is reduced to 16. UK lift host. man, and inspiration for the film ‘Boys
Simone de Beauvoir 1908 - 1986 Bisexual Don’t Cry’. Teena was raped and murdered
ban that prevented homosexuals from serving in the armed forces. author of ‘The Second Sex’ and close friend in 1993.
of philospher Jean-Paul Sartre.
2003 - Section 28 is repealed.
2005 - Civil Partnerships are introduced for same-sex couples.

LGBT Soc is open to all lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans students at the University of Surrey and
(Expanded from a timeline appearing on the BBC website: their friends, as well as students who are questioning their sexuality. The society offers support to all LGBTQ students and provides a safe, informal environment in
Garnets, L.D. & Peplau, L.A. (2000). Understanding Women’s which to meet and socialise.
We also organise varied events and activities, e.g. Tease club nights at the union. Other upcoming
Sexualities and Sexual Orientations: An Introduction. Journal of Social events include a Brighton pub crawl and a trip to LaserQuest.
Issues, 56, 181-192.
Meetings are at 7pm on Tuesdays in TB11. All are welcome, free food and drink are provided.

Students who are thinking of coming along, but have reservations, are encouraged to contact a
member of the comittee at:
6th February 2008 LGBT HISTORY MONTH 23

LGBT History month at

By Tracy Plowman Surrey
This February we will be holding several events to mark LGBT History Month so
look out for posters and emails giving details of these. Please come along to show
Surrey students’ support for LGBT individuals and to learn more about LGBT issues
from the past to the present.
The kinds of events that will be happening are: a talk about the history of LGBT
people, a debate between people with various viewpoints on homosexuality, and LGBT
jeans day.
LGBT jeans day is an event that has been successfully run at several university campuses
but is more popular in the United States. This has usually been ‘Gay Jeans Day’ but
we would like everyone to wear blue jeans on Friday 29th February to show support
for rights throughout the LGBT community. This common item of clothing has been
chosen because most people will own a pair. A person who feels awkward because they
wear blue jeans without realising it is LGBT jeans day may find it causes them to reflect
on their attitudes towards LGBT people. It is hoped that we can achieve a display of
support across the campus as well as having this opportunity to consider our views
regarding sexuality and gender issues.

Famous people who have had a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or

Transgender identity ascribed to them.
How many can you name? 3

5 9


9, Sir Ian McKellen

Springfield 5,Ellen Generes 6,Jan Morris 7, Queen Anne 8,Vikram Seth
Answers : 1 , Florence Nightingale 2,James Baldwin 3, Will Young 4, Dusty
24 COMMERCIAL BREAK 6th February 2008

Spice up Spice up your Night

your life Hot Tamarind & Chilli Vindaloo

for Two
In a medium sized pan gently fry 1 medium diced onion in 2
UNION SHOP OPENING TIMES The Union Shop now stocks over
tbsp oil until golden brown, stir in a Jar of Pataks Vindaloo Curry
Monday to Friday one hundred International food paste add some beef or chicken and fry until sealed.
10.00AM till 6.00PM products from around the world.
Add one can of Tomatoes and 100ml of water mix well and cover
Taste the Exotic on Campus. pan simmer for 40 minutes (time for a quick shower or chat with
your flatmates)

Wash 250gms of Royal Basmati rice thoroughly and soak for 20

minutes add rice to 2 pints of lightly salted boiling water, boil for
10 minutes then drain place in bowl and for a little extra Mmmm
stir in a knob of butter perfect with your Vindaloo and finally
chuck a couple of Naan Breads sprinkled with water under the
grill for a couple of minutes.

All of the above ingredients excluding the meat are available

from your Union Shop
6th February 2008 COMMERCIAL BREAK 25
26 ARTS 6th February 2008

Send your submissions to

Arts Editor : Jake South
Welcome, to an extended arts section this issue. An issue without a sports section that has resulted in a lengthened arts space filled with incredible
words, much like a thesaurus. Approaching at speed is a day that many enjoy, that many loathe, and that many couldn’t care less about (apparently).
As you may have noticed due to the central theme of this edition, the day in discussion is Valentines Day. A time for those who are lucky enough to
have a loved one to cash in on romantic gifts and for those without to drink their tears to oblivion. Coinciding with this event we here on the arts
team have injected a Valentines related piece that is rich in mirth and of strong advice featuring 10 Valentines Day tips for singles. Not only this
but it is written by Waylonidas Ma. Exactly.
If you haven’t stopped reading this introduction and immediately flicked over the page to the singles tips then I
would like to move away from the Valentines topic and provide some suggestions for a couple of top record releases
happening over the following 2-3 week period.

Hot Chip – Made in the Dark: Following on from The Warning; another selection of synth filled electro popping
moments from this coolest quintet. A definite. Released: 5th Feb.
IWas A Cub Scout – I Want You to Know That There is Always Hope: Driving light rocking rhythms layered on top
of deluxe keys and synths from this awesome duo. Something completely new. Released: 18th Feb.

If you’re bored with what you’ve been listening to lately then investigate further into these two and see what you
No Country For Old Men
Joel Coen/Ethan Coen
Paramount Vantage

The Coen brothers, known by most for the stunning O Brother Where Art Thou or the cult classic The Big Lebowski, have suffered a slump from
form following the poor audience and critical response to recent releases Intolerable Cruelty and Ladykillers. Their latest tour de force however, No
Country For Old Men, sees the masterful brothers re-cement themselves as one of the most visionary and successful directing entities of cinema
today, with fans and critics alike already proposing it as their greatest film to date.
No Country For Old Men, in essence, concerns Man’s desperate desire for money. Set in 1980s Texas, the central character, Llewelyn Moss, stumbles
across a case containing over 2 million dollars in the aftermath of an illicit drug deal gone wrong, where all parties but one badly-wounded Mexican
have perished. Moss is immediately under pursuit from sociopath Anton Chigurh who, having originally been hired to recover the money, ruthlessly
kills his employers and sets out to retrieve the money for himself, killing anyone that stands in his way with a cattle gun. Tommy Lee Jones’s profound
and humane sheriff, having quickly assessed the situation, attempts to help Moss by stopping Chigurh.
Although the beginning of the film draws close parallels to Blood Simple, NCFOM is unlike any other
Coen release. The film is based on the 2005 novel by American author Cormac McCarthy. Despite the lack
of original screenwriting, the picture still displays all the traits of the Coens distinct and most desirable
style: arresting cinematography, charming, witty and often philosophical dialogue, and uncanny attention
to detail. What makes the film so successful for me, though, is the sheer perfection in pace. The brothers
have always had an acute awareness of timing and visual metre and NCFOM epitomises this calculated and
measured tempo. Running at just over two hours, the film could have ended several times before it did or,
in fact, continued for another half hour without becoming fatigued or any less poignant.
The highlight of the movie is Jarvier Bardem’s Oscar-worthy performance of Chigurh. Whilst portraying
the killer as devilishly unrelenting and uncompassionate, we are also shown the human side and it is this
that makes him so poisonous and chilling.
I will not deny that your enjoyment of this film is dependant on your taste but I urge you all to go and see
it. One of the best films I’ve seen in years.

Jamie Buchanan Camel
6th February 2008 ARTS 27
Frankie and Benny’s Review
A new branch of Frankie and Benny’s open in Guildford last month. It’s located near
the Travelodge opposite PC World and is enjoying roaring trade. The style is Italian
American and they provide a good variety; with pizza, pasta, burgers, steaks and funky
twists on the classics. I enjoyed a lovely goat’s cheese pizza. Cocktails are also served
however my favourite tequila sunrise was lacking from the menu. Portions were large but
tasted delicious. There were starter platters to share and generous desserts. Booking is
advised as it’s packed even on week nights, though you do get a cool flashing device to let
you know when your table is free. The staff are friendly but their attention can be hard
to attract during busy periods. From your table you can see the flames of the kitchen and
there is a lively family atmosphere. Frankie and Benny’s is a great place for group meals
and well worth the 15min walk from campus.
Eat yourself stupid.

Guildford Musicians Take On Live and Unsigned

Live and Unsigned is a competition for bands and musical artists from up and down the country to compete for a Management contract with Future Music. With over
10,000 entrants it is the largest talent search outside of the annual Christmas Number 1 decider. The difference is that artists are encouraged to be individual and perform
their own songs, style and genre. So technically it looks for a real X-Factor instead of someone with a sob story and half decent Ronan Keating impression.
The event takes place at various places throughout the country and some of Guildford’s own acts have made it through to the live rounds and will be appearing at the regional
Semi Finals which take place at Princes Hall from 5.00pm on the 17th of February with tickets priced at £6. Representing our little neck of the woods will be:
Elmor Wildstar
Elmor are a Guildford based 5-piece who play It’s never been cool to like Country, for some
Hailing from Australia, this singer-songwriter
a fine style of melodic rock which knocks seven reason many people see this diverse, interesting
gained a significant level of fame and recognition
bells out of many similar but more well known and soulful genre as music for dumb hillbillies.
in his home land before deciding to bring his
bands around at the moment. In fact it is only Come and let Wildstar change that perception
sound over to Britain. He is probably one of the
a matter of time until Elmor join such bands for you. Wildstar started out as an acoustic
most experienced artists on the local scene after
on higher echelons and will comfortably go toe- duo consisting of ACM students Emma
working for many years as a session musician
to-toe with the best of them, having even been Stevens and Charlie Hewson. While they were
as well as appearances on Home & Away and
dubbed ‘The hottest New Wave/Indie/Pop already gaining popularity and attention on the
even achieving Cult Status after reaching the
band to hit the UK for a long time’ by UK Music local scene, it didn’t take too long before they
finals of Australian Idol. Don’t let the TV
Review. They have honed their sound and live wanted to bolster their sound with a full band
talent show tag put you off; you’re not going
show to perfection by relentlessly playing venues and brought in bassist Rob, drummer Tom
to hear some deluded pop wannabe belting out
all over the South East building a solid following and soon after Ryan invited himself along to
substandard covers. Instead you will hear an
based solely on their effortlessly majestic music, play a bit of electric guitar. Mixing elements
incredibly gifted man play smooth, memorable
which showcases all the desirable aspects of of contemporary country with a few close to
and well crafted music with some honest and
contemporary rock music. They have played an home touches, Wildstar make music that is
thoughtful lyrics. He can also whip out a good
after show party for Maximo Park and prefer nigh on impossible not to tap along to. Having
cover too, as anyone who has seen him furiously
Street Fighter to Mortal Kombat. just come out of the studio Wildstar are ready
attempt to turn his acoustic guitar into wood to get back to gigging around the local scene
chippings during his version of Jimi Hendrix’s
Hear an interview with Elmor on Andy Vale’s and hopefully further. Come along and see this
‘Fire’ can verify. He prefers boxers to briefs.
Perfumed Garden Gnome show from 7-9pm on unique act in their element. They once played a
Friday the 15th of February. Tune in at 1350am gig outside the London Eye.
JJMD will be interviewed and performing
or online at
some tracks live in the studio on Andy Vale’s
Hear a live studio
Perfumed Garden Gnome Show from 7-9pm
interview with
on Friday the 8th of February.
Wildstar on Andy
Vale’s Perfumed
Garden Gnome
show by listening
back to his show
on www.GU2. before

Andy Vale
28 ARTS 6th February 2008

The Return of the Spice Girls World Tour

The O2, London
January 4, 2008

It’s the fourth day of the New Year and the sixth of a 17-day residency at London’s
O2 Arena – inside the venue formerly known as the Millennium Dome – for Scary,
Baby, Ginger, Posh and Sporty. The reunited Spice Girls formally announced their much
speculated comeback at the end of June – initially touted as an eleven date whirlwind
world tour, demand has been so high after tickets sold out for the first date at The O2 in
38 seconds that the tour has since grown to 50+ dates.

The quintet burst onto stage balanced on individual hydraulic platforms before launching
into a highly energetic performance of “Spice Up Your Life”, promptly followed by another crowd-pleaser in the form of “Stop” – complete, no less,
with a vocal sample lifted from “It’s Like That” at the song’s beginning; the Jason Nevins remix of the Run DMC classic which, of course, put an
end to girls’ consecutive run of #1s back in the day. When Vicky B sings her first solo line in “Stop” the 20,000-strong crowd go wild. This is not
limited to Mrs Beckham showcasing her singing talents, but also when she speaks or even does her trademark point and pout. This doesn’t happen
for any of the others – Posh is a superstar, Posh is loved… such is the power of today’s media-friendly celebrities.

As the group comfortably launch into “Say You’ll Be There” – the third song on the set list – it feels like they’ve never been away, however, this feeling
is temporarily dispelled amidst a surprisingly better, rockier rendition of the turkey of the quintet’s comeback, “Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)”,
the official Children In Need single for 2007. As the group moves on to burlesque jazz
choreography for “Lady Is a Vamp” and a cabaret version of “Too Much”, the somewhat
lukewarm reception of “Headlines” is forgotten as Spice classics such as “2 Become 1”
and “Who Do You Think You Are” are rolled out with near-flawless vocal performances,
slick dance routines (when and where appropriate) as well as a number of iconic costume
changes (including ‘that Union Jack dress’).

Of the solo spots, Posh fore-goes singing in favour of talking into her phone as she struts
down the walkway to “Like A Virgin”, whilst ‘photographers’ aim cameras at her striking
a pose or twelve. Mel B oddly covers Lenny Kravitz’s “Are You Gonna Go My Way” as she
gyrates her hips in the face of some bloke pulled from the audience – this stagecraft soft
porn has been done by Janet, Christina, P!nk and many before her. It seemed to be timed
nicely as a toilet break for the woman stood in front of me though. Emma’s “Maybe” sets
things back on track and once the Latina-tinged “Viva Forever” closes, Ginger disappears.
The remaining quartet’s attempt at R&B in the form of “Holler” is surprisingly strong, whilst Geri’s “It’s Raining Men” and Mel C’s “I Turn To
You” proves not all of the Spices’ solo careers were totally ill-advised, especially as the latter proves beyond any doubt where the main all-round vocal
talent lies within the group.

The show goes on with “Mama”, a disco-medley and “Goodbye”, now back with Geri after a blink-and-you-miss-it rendition of “Let Love Lead
The Way”. The encore crowd-favourite “Wannabe” sees the crowd singing and dancing to every word, whilst the show closes with a remix of “Spice
Up Your Life”. The girls’ entertained just as well and as boldly as in their glory days
– with slick dancing, vocals in-tune (and no miming) and a reassuringly expensive stage
set and plethora of costumes throughout.

Tickets to see the Girl Power quintet cost a hefty £75 and, on reflection, it was worth
every penny of it. This is a show about nostalgia, not just of pop music of the past (or
even Girl Power) but of times gone by too. Spicemania took the world by surprise in 1996
and there’s never been anything like it ever since, so it’s most definitely worth treasuring.
“Mission Accomplished”; as it read on the screens overhead at the end.

I’m still baffled at the lack of platform boots during these reunion gigs, though.

Josh Bates
6th February 2008 SPORTS IS DEAD , ARTS GOVERNS 29
Lightspeed Champion
Falling Off The Lavender Bridge

So here we’ve got Dev (aka Lightspeed Champion), ex Test Icicles man, who seems to have gone off on
a journey to find his soul and write some meaningful and deep songs. Hats off to you Dev. NME are
hailing him as one of the great artists to come out in 2008, hes got an extensive tour ahead of him and
a hell of a reputation behind him from Test Icicles. While we’re on the subject, lets just glance back 2
years or so. ‘For Screening Purposes Only’ is released, again to critical acclaim and finding a following
of crazed 15 year old boys and girls. This music will make you rebel. REBEL I SAY like a chicken
whos just longing to be with his free range friends. Music to bring old gregg out of his underwater
kingdom. And now we’ve got this. As I said before, hats off to him and all, hes completely changed
his direction from Icicle past, and made an album to appeal to a whole different audience. Hes got
the whole world in his hand now, pretty much like god. But sadly as much as he is basically god, the
album isn’t very godlike. First listens bring The Dears to mind, crossed with some weird Ryan Adams
stuff. Almost as if Dev has taken Ryan to a crazy party and hes drunk far too much punch and has ended up in the corner of the room with a guitar,
singing about fascism and such. Ultimate highlights – ‘Devil Tricks for a Bitch’ is a track based around a small string section laying down the entirety
of the song until its accompanied by a band. I actually love this track. I could almost say, buy this album just for that track because to be honest, I
haven’t heard such genius from a track in a long time. ‘Dry Lips’ has bits of Death Cab, Loney Dear and even more The Dears infused within it, more
strings and twangy acoustic guitars. I JUST HEARD AN OBOE! I like the oboe. The last track on the album is also brilliant, for 2 reasons – 1. It’s
the end of the album, and 2. Its actually kind of catchy. Overall I’d say this album is one of those things you could put on in the background and
kind of appreciate while youre not actually focused on it. Its not really that bad at all, I guess its just not my cup of tea. But all this is coming from
the man who didn’t like ‘In Rainbows’ on first listens. What was I thinking.

3/5 Finbrow Dow Smythe

The Return of Waylonidas

1) Lie in, so that when you get out of bed half of Valentines has already passed.
2) Treat yourself for surviving another Valentines alone by visiting the nearest mall or shopping arena and buy yourself a tie or vintage mug.
3) In a Valentines fashion ring some of your single friends and plan a singles party, invite lots of the single opposite sex.
4) Either go to bed very early or fill yourself with class A so you cannot remember how Valentines went.
5) Drink an entire litre of water on Valentines.
6) Pluck up the courage to give that special person a Valentines card of some sort and make sure they know it is you who wrote the card.
7) Leave the country celebrating Valentine.
8) Look in the mirror and say to yourself I can be as powerful as two people, repeat that sixty times and you will feel a burst of Valentine
9) If this is the last Valentine straw for you, consider running into the street naked shouting ‘I’m single until I die’. Possibly work on a dance
to coincide with the song.
10) Don’t think of Valentines as meaningful, for it does not apply to you.

Waylon Ma
30 ARTS 6th February 2008


Arctic Monkeys are staking a claim to be their generation’s Oasis by
leading the way with a record seven nominations at this year’s Shockwaves Joining Amy in the Best Solo Artist category, seriously hot newcomers
NME Awards. Thousands of genuine music fans have voted for the decade’s Kate Nash, Patrick Wolf and Jack Penate take on last year’s winner Jamie
biggest British band in the categories of Best British Band, Best Live Band, T.
Best Album, Best Track, Best Video and Best Album Artwork, with Alex With British bands sweeping the board in almost every other category,
picking up a nomination in the Best Dressed category. They’ll find out if Arcade Fire, Foo Fighters, The Killers, Kings of Leon and My Chemical
they’ve won at the ceremony, which will take place on 28th February. Romance are all competing for the title of Best International Band.
Since coming to prominence on the Shockwaves NME Awards Tour just The Shockwaves NME Awards have always led the way in new music,
three years ago, Arctic Monkeys have racked up an unprecedented fifteen with the Best New Band category being the year’s most accurate predictor
of the next big things. This year, Foals and Joe Leon & The Jing Jang Jong,
take on the recent success stories - The Pigeon Detectives, The Enemy and
The Wombats.
“The genuine music fans that read NME and visit NME.COM have
voted in their thousands once again, and it’s gratifying to see them come
out in support for the amazing British bands that have broken through over
the past few years,” said NME Associate Editor Dan Silver. “This year’s
Shockwaves NME Awards will be more hotly contested than ever, and it will
be fascinating to see whether the Arctic Monkeys can complete their clean
sweep on the night itself.”
Winners will be announced at the biggest rock n roll party of the year at
London’s premier new venue Indigo2 on February 28th. Music fans can
watch all the action as it unfolds later that same night on E4 with further
coverage all weekend on channel 4 including the biggest aftershow party
ever with the Shockwaves NME Awards Big Gig. The Awards will broadcast
on Channel 4 on Friday night with T4 broadcasting all day on Saturday 30th
from backstage at the event.

Shockwaves NME Awards nominations, making them the most voted for The Nominations in full:
band of the decade. With more sales, awards and column inches than most
bands achieve in their entire career, Arctic Monkeys clearly ARE the band Best British Band supported by Shockwaves
Arctic Monkeys
of a generation. Babyshambles
Arctic Monkeys’ Jamie Cook said: “It’s sound the readers keep voting for The Cribs
us. We’re chuffed. Best band and best album are always a good one. Live Klaxons
would be good. It’s good to have been picked up in that because we put a Muse
lot of effort into our live work last year, I thought we got a lot better. So that
Best International Band supported by T4
would be a good’en to win.” Arcade Fire
Fighting it out for the Best Live Band gong along with Arctic Monkeys, are Foo Fighters
Muse, The Cribs, Kaiser Chiefs, and My Chemical Romance. These bands The Killers
have thrilled live audiences up and down the country over the last 12months Kings Of Leon
and now the fans will decide who deserves to take away this highly prized My Chemical Romance
title. Best New Band supported by Radio One
In the Best British Band category - one of the most coveted awards of the The Enemy
night, Arctic Monkeys will compete against last years winners, Muse. Joined Foals
by Babyshambles, Klaxons and The Cribs this category is packed full with Joe Lean And The Jing Jang Jong
outstanding talent. The Pigeon Detectives
The Wombats
Mercury Prize winners and former Shockwaves NME Awards Tour
headliners Klaxons are another hot favourite in this years awards, notching Best Live Band supported by Carling
up four nominations. They will battle it out against Arctic Monkeys in the Arctic Monkeys
Best British Band, Best Album and Best Video categories, and are also up The Cribs
for new category Best Dance Floor Filler. -Will this be the year that rock Kaiser Chiefs
dance fusion reigns supreme? My Chemical Romance
Amy Winehouse has also notched up four nominations but thanks to her
recent troubles she finds herself nominated for Villain of the Year and Worst Best Solo Artist supported by 4Music
Dressed! But it’s not all bad news, whilst her style may get a thumbs down Kate Nash
from the fans, her music is still appreciated with nominations in the Best Jack Penate
Jamie T
Music DVD and Best Solo Artist category. Amy Winehouse
Patrick Wolf
6th February 2008 COMMERCIAL BREAK 31
KNOW YOURSELF WEEK 18th – 22nd February
Do you love your mind? Does it love you back?
Would you know the difference between depression and a bad day?

KNOW YOURSELF is a campaign on campus at Surrey. Helping you to understand yourself better. Throughout the week, KNOW YOURSELF will be running events
ranging from laughter therapy to PostSecret art displays. 1 in 4 people will suffer from mental health problems during their life time, but many people avoid seeking help.
With a series of workshops and events, Know Yourself hopes to show students different ways they can help themselves to be happy and where they can get help from. All
the events are free so anyone can get involved.
MOVIE NIGHT – Monday February 18 . Come and watch A Beautiful Mind staring Russell Crowe, in this insightful depiction of the Nobel Laureate Winner John

Forbes Nash’s downward spiral into Schizophrenia.

POSTSECRET @ Surrey – Tuesday 19th, Thursday 21st and Friday 22nd of February in the lecture theatre concourse from 1pm onwards. Take a look at the secrets of
other Surrey students and maybe add your own to the display.

WORKSHOPS – Tuesday 19th February, 3-4pm. Emotional Intelligence workshop, learn how to use your mind to tackle the feelings of anxiety, fear and low self-esteem
that trouble many students. Wednesday 20th February, 1-2pm. Wellbeing and Happiness interactive workshop.

GET INVOLVED – Thursday 21st February, 5pm. Enjoy singing? Well today you can get involved with a local community choir in a sing a long workshop. Everyone is
welcome so why not try something new.
32 SOCIETIES 6th February 2008

UniS Photography
A photography society, which began life on the website Facebook plans, to hold
regular fortnightly meetings for staff and students from 6pm - 7pm on Thursdays
in Teaching Block Room 23. Next coming meetings are on 7 & 21 February and
6 March. The aim of the Facebook group is mentioned in the group description
as the following: “… a group aiming to gather people interested in professional
or amateur photography in the University of Surrey. There are plenty of very nice
places/scenes/landscapes around (both in UniS and Guildford -and also of course
in London) on which photographers can work for hours and enjoy!

If you have a camera (not necessarily a professional one) and if you are “really”
interested in photography, just join, we can arrange tours, meetings and lots of
activities together.”

The union society, which was founded last week, will operate as a forum for the
exchange of ideas and information and to promote the work of its members. To give
an example for the forthcoming photography events, it should be mentioned that
staff and postgraduate students have the opportunity to submit work for a mixed-
media art exhibition entitled ...’Under A Bushel’ in the Lewis Elton Gallery from 26 Edward Combes - Macro lens, close up
February to 6 March.

For further information about the club please contact Ms. Cemre Zor. Email:

Cemre Zor - Turkish landscape, incandescent lamp

Edward Combes - Long exposure technique

Philippe Stenier - Infrared of a lake setting

Adam Sayer - Night cityscape of London

The works on this page are all copyright of the individual photographers and all
rights are reserved.

Please send any articles, queries, and/or adverts for societies into us at:
An article should aim to be from 200-400 words. Any general societies enquiries
should be directed to Simon Moore (Societies Editor).