EDUCATION IN MALAYSIA

n these times of plunging education standards, it is both heartwarming and at the same time
heartwrenching to see such determined, bright individuals struggle with educating our
children. One must wonder however, how much real change can a few teachers make? The
education system requires structural reform from the inside especially. Good things to
ponder while reading this excellent 'confession'.

So here’s a public confession: After 4 months into teaching, I came back from a class this
morning, put my books on my desk, coolly walked to the ladies, and broke down; with tears,
sobs, frantically fanned myself with my hands thinking that could help calm me down, the
whole enchilada. Something I have not done for a very long time.
In the last four months, I could have cried when I had kids calling me a prostitute in
mandarin, or that time when a kid told me I should not mess with him because his dad is part
of the notorious along gangster crew (which I have never heard of and the phrase “ignorance
is bliss” could not have rung truer), or that time when I was wolf whistled at for weeks
wherever I went, or when a disruptive boy decided get up in the middle of my lesson, ran
around the room and banged every table before he ran out of the class despite me calling after
him and then having him come back and literally went on the floor, hugging my feet and
begged for my forgiveness the same day, or when I was locked in the school building and
then had to come out through the roof (long story) or when a big fat rat, literally, decided to
chill right in front of my front door. Those were legit reasons to cry if I wanted to cry. But I
didn’t. Not a single tear rolled down my cheeks. I stood up to my boys, I had sleepless nights
thinking of strategies to get my kids to just sit down for a single lesson, told every kid who
threatened me to bring it on, went to every boy who wolf whistled and threw inappropriate
remarks at me, looked them straight in the eyes and said, “how dare you”. I have got nothing
to lose and I am sure, as hell is not scared of anybody, no matter who your daddy is.

This morning however, was different. In fact, I wasn’t teaching at all this morning. I was in a
form 4 class, of which I only teach PJK to the six of the girls every week. So what was I
doing with the entire class? I was invigilating their mid year exam, Sejarah Kertas 3 to be
exact; An open book test where students are required to write an essay on a topic given. Just
as I finished handing out the exam papers to all 35 students, one boy put his hand up and
asked, “ujian apa hari ni, cikgu?” and I went, “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT
PAPER YOU ARE SITTING FOR ON THE DAY OF THE EXAM AND EVEN AFTER I
HAVE HANDED OUT THE EXAM PAPER” silently in my head. Out loud, I said, “ujian
Sejarah, kertas 3. Ujian ni boleh tengok buku, so keluarkan lah buku”. Half of the classroom
started to rummage through their bags and looked under their tables for books while the other
half put their heads down and went to sleep. Ten minutes into the exam, they were all just
staring at their books, opened to the first page. I went to a boy and asked if he knew what he
was supposed to do. He shook his head and continued staring at his book. Another boy
looked at me pleadingly, and asked, “cikgu, macam mana nak buat ni?” No one was writing
anything. No one.

I went to one of the girls and asked her to read the question and then looked for the answer in
the book. The first question she asked after I told her that was, “bab berapa tu?” and I could
sense the whole class was waiting for me to tell her which chapter to open to. I knew then,
that they have never read a single thing from their textbook nor have they learned anything in
the past four months of school. Heck, I wouldn’t be going too far if I said they barely learned
anything in the last 10 years of school. At that moment, I saw their future flashed through my
eyes and I wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry because it was unfair for them to be sitting for an exam that they are clearly
not ready for. I wanted to cry because someone allowed this to happen. I wanted to cry
because as I was explaining to some of the students on how to do the exam and they were
eagerly listening, while I was quietly panicking because I am no way near being a Sejarah
Form 4 teacher. I wanted to cry because I felt incompetent, wishing I remembered what I
learned back in From 4 so that I can teach them something at that moment. I wanted to cry
because it is not their fault. But most of all, I wanted to cry because I have 200 students and I
have classes back to back from 7.30 AM up to 10.00PM every day that it would be
completely impossible to take on new students. All I could think of was how if only all the
educated people in the country would spend their time teaching these kids, then maybe,
maybe I’d be writing a different story.
I have never actually done this before; asking people to consider teaching. I believe that
entering into the profession should come out of your own will. I have never recommended
Teach for Malaysia to anyone. In fact, I’d be all-skeptical to anyone who are actually
considering to join TFM. What are you in for? To have connections with top corporate
partners? To meet CEOs of this and that? To be featured in newspapers, radio, magazines,
online blogs? What are you in for? Is it the tagline? Is it really for the kids? I’ve been asked
these questions before and I personally used to think that it was a fair concern. It needs to be
out there that being a teacher, through TFM or not, is not even a tad bit glamorous. You don’t
get paid on time, you’d be missing best friends’ weddings, family gatherings, birthdays etc.,
you have crazy deadlines and you’ll feel like crap because you don’t know how you’re doing.
Nobody sends you a “good job” email on that awesome class you just had, or though you
had. Are you sure you want to be a teacher? If you think it is a walk in the park, be rest
assured that it’ll be the ghettoest, most messed up park you have ever walked in. I used to
think that only the strong should be a teacher. Only those who know that they won’t quit
should be a teacher. Today, I don’t care anymore. Today, I realized how desperate the
country is and beggars, can’t be choosers. If you have gone through the education system and
came out alive, teach. If you have no idea what to teach, trust me you’ll learn. You’d be
surprised to meet kids who have never been told that cleanliness is a virtue, that rempit is not
a legit career path, that you don’t have to give up at 16.

Listen to me, drop everything you’re doing and come back to school. Teach them to be
human beings because they need to know that screaming at a lady is not the way to speak,
that not knowing how to read at 13 is not cool, that cursing at your teachers is rude and to
talk back to your mother in front of everybody at school would get you to every hell of every
single religion in the world. Teach. If you think it’s too hard and teaching isn’t your thing,
then quit. But you can’t quit teaching if you have not actually tried teaching. My point is,
every one should teach. Decide later if it is something you want to do in the long run. Just
teach. Join TFM, do it the normal route, stop a kid in the middle of the road and ask him/her
to tell you the multiplication table, tell him/her a random fact about Egypt or aeroplanes,
teach them the right intonation after seeing a question mark, teach.

If you think, all this doesn’t make sense and it’s just some really long facebook status/note by
a crazy lady who just cried in a high school toilet, then darling, my dear, you have not taught
in a classroom where half of them can barely read and write and the other half is just lost by
this immense language barrier that no logical inspiring words can get through them. So teach.
I am on my facebook knees.
This morning however, was different. In fact, I wasn’t teaching at all this morning. I was in a
form 4 class, of which I only teach PJK to the six of the girls every week. So what was I
doing with the entire class? I was invigilating their mid year exam, Sejarah Kertas 3 to be
exact; An open book test where students are required to write an essay on a topic given. Just
as I finished handing out the exam papers to all 35 students, one boy put his hand up and
asked, “ujian apa hari ni, cikgu?” and I went, “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT
PAPER YOU ARE SITTING FOR ON THE DAY OF THE EXAM AND EVEN AFTER I
HAVE HANDED OUT THE EXAM PAPER” silently in my head. Out loud, I said, “ujian
Sejarah, kertas 3. Ujian ni boleh tengok buku, so keluarkan lah buku”. Half of the classroom
started to rummage through their bags and looked under their tables for books while the other
half put their heads down and went to sleep. Ten minutes into the exam, they were all just
staring at their books, opened to the first page. I went to a boy and asked if he knew what he
was supposed to do. He shook his head and continued staring at his book. Another boy
looked at me pleadingly, and asked, “cikgu, macam mana nak buat ni?” No one was writing
anything. No one.
I went to one of the girls and asked her to read the question and then looked for the answer in
the book. The first question she asked after I told her that was, “bab berapa tu?” and I could
sense the whole class was waiting for me to tell her which chapter to open to. I knew then,
that they have never read a single thing from their textbook nor have they learned anything in
the past four months of school. Heck, I wouldn’t be going too far if I said they barely learned
anything in the last 10 years of school. At that moment, I saw their future flashed through my
eyes and I wanted to cry.
I wanted to cry because it was unfair for them to be sitting for an exam that they are clearly
not ready for. I wanted to cry because someone allowed this to happen. I wanted to cry
because as I was explaining to some of the students on how to do the exam and they were
eagerly listening, while I was quietly panicking because I am no way near being a Sejarah
Form 4 teacher. I wanted to cry because I felt incompetent, wishing I remembered what I
learned back in From 4 so that I can teach them something at that moment. I wanted to cry
because it is not their fault. But most of all, I wanted to cry because I have 200 students and I
have classes back to back from 7.30 AM up to 10.00PM every day that it would be
completely impossible to take on new students. All I could think of was how if only all the
educated people in the country would spend their time teaching these kids, then maybe,
maybe I’d be writing a different story.
I have never actually done this before; asking people to consider teaching. I believe that
entering into the profession should come out of your own will. I have never recommended
Teach for Malaysia to anyone. In fact, I’d be all-skeptical to anyone who are actually
considering to join TFM. What are you in for? To have connections with top corporate
partners? To meet CEOs of this and that? To be featured in newspapers, radio, magazines,
online blogs? What are you in for? Is it the tagline? Is it really for the kids? I’ve been asked
these questions before and I personally used to think that it was a fair concern. It needs to be
out there that being a teacher, through TFM or not, is not even a tad bit glamorous. You don’t
get paid on time, you’d be missing best friends’ weddings, family gatherings, birthdays etc.,
you have crazy deadlines and you’ll feel like crap because you don’t know how you’re doing.
Nobody sends you a “good job” email on that awesome class you just had, or though you
had. Are you sure you want to be a teacher? If you think it is a walk in the park, be rest
assured that it’ll be the ghettoest, most messed up park you have ever walked in. I used to
think that only the strong should be a teacher. Only those who know that they won’t quit
should be a teacher. Today, I don’t care anymore. Today, I realized how desperate the
country is and beggars, can’t be choosers. If you have gone through the education system and
came out alive, teach. If you have no idea what to teach, trust me you’ll learn. You’d be
surprised to meet kids who have never been told that cleanliness is a virtue, that rempit is not
a legit career path, that you don’t have to give up at 16.
Listen to me, drop everything you’re doing and come back to school. Teach them to be
human beings because they need to know that screaming at a lady is not the way to speak,
that not knowing how to read at 13 is not cool, that cursing at your teachers is rude and to
talk back to your mother in front of everybody at school would get you to every hell of every
single religion in the world. Teach. If you think it’s too hard and teaching isn’t your thing,
then quit. But you can’t quit teaching if you have not actually tried teaching. My point is,
every one should teach. Decide later if it is something you want to do in the long run. Just
teach. Join TFM, do it the normal route, stop a kid in the middle of the road and ask him/her
to tell you the multiplication table, tell him/her a random fact about Egypt or aeroplanes,
teach them the right intonation after seeing a question mark, teach.
If you think, all this doesn’t make sense and it’s just some really long facebook status/note by
a crazy lady who just cried in a high school toilet, then darling, my dear, you have not taught
in a classroom where half of them can barely read and write and the other half is just lost by
this immense language barrier that no logical inspiring words can get through them. So teach.
I am on my facebook knees.

n these times of plunging education standards, it is both heartwarming and at the same time
heartwrenching to see such determined, bright individuals struggle with educating our
children. One must wonder however, how much real change can a few teachers make? The
education system requires structural reform from the inside especially. Good things to
ponder while reading this excellent 'confession'.
So here’s a public confession: After 4 months into teaching, I came back from a class this
morning, put my books on my desk, coolly walked to the ladies, and broke down; with tears,
sobs, frantically fanned myself with my hands thinking that could help calm me down, the
whole enchilada. Something I have not done for a very long time.
In the last four months, I could have cried when I had kids calling me a prostitute in
mandarin, or that time when a kid told me I should not mess with him because his dad is part
of the notorious along gangster crew (which I have never heard of and the phrase “ignorance
is bliss” could not have rung truer), or that time when I was wolf whistled at for weeks
wherever I went, or when a disruptive boy decided get up in the middle of my lesson, ran
around the room and banged every table before he ran out of the class despite me calling after
him and then having him come back and literally went on the floor, hugging my feet and
begged for my forgiveness the same day, or when I was locked in the school building and
then had to come out through the roof (long story) or when a big fat rat, literally, decided to
chill right in front of my front door. Those were legit reasons to cry if I wanted to cry. But I
didn’t. Not a single tear rolled down my cheeks. I stood up to my boys, I had sleepless nights
thinking of strategies to get my kids to just sit down for a single lesson, told every kid who
threatened me to bring it on, went to every boy who wolf whistled and threw inappropriate
remarks at me, looked them straight in the eyes and said, “how dare you”. I have got nothing
to lose and I am sure, as hell is not scared of anybody, no matter who your daddy is.

This morning however, was different. In fact, I wasn’t teaching at all this morning. I was in a
form 4 class, of which I only teach PJK to the six of the girls every week. So what was I
doing with the entire class? I was invigilating their mid year exam, Sejarah Kertas 3 to be
exact; An open book test where students are required to write an essay on a topic given. Just
as I finished handing out the exam papers to all 35 students, one boy put his hand up and
asked, “ujian apa hari ni, cikgu?” and I went, “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT
PAPER YOU ARE SITTING FOR ON THE DAY OF THE EXAM AND EVEN AFTER I
HAVE HANDED OUT THE EXAM PAPER” silently in my head. Out loud, I said, “ujian
Sejarah, kertas 3. Ujian ni boleh tengok buku, so keluarkan lah buku”. Half of the classroom
started to rummage through their bags and looked under their tables for books while the other
half put their heads down and went to sleep. Ten minutes into the exam, they were all just
staring at their books, opened to the first page. I went to a boy and asked if he knew what he
was supposed to do. He shook his head and continued staring at his book. Another boy
looked at me pleadingly, and asked, “cikgu, macam mana nak buat ni?” No one was writing
anything. No one.

I went to one of the girls and asked her to read the question and then looked for the answer in
the book. The first question she asked after I told her that was, “bab berapa tu?” and I could
sense the whole class was waiting for me to tell her which chapter to open to. I knew then,
that they have never read a single thing from their textbook nor have they learned anything in
the past four months of school. Heck, I wouldn’t be going too far if I said they barely learned
anything in the last 10 years of school. At that moment, I saw their future flashed through my
eyes and I wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry because it was unfair for them to be sitting for an exam that they are clearly
not ready for. I wanted to cry because someone allowed this to happen. I wanted to cry
because as I was explaining to some of the students on how to do the exam and they were
eagerly listening, while I was quietly panicking because I am no way near being a Sejarah
Form 4 teacher. I wanted to cry because I felt incompetent, wishing I remembered what I
learned back in From 4 so that I can teach them something at that moment. I wanted to cry
because it is not their fault. But most of all, I wanted to cry because I have 200 students and I
have classes back to back from 7.30 AM up to 10.00PM every day that it would be
completely impossible to take on new students. All I could think of was how if only all the
educated people in the country would spend their time teaching these kids, then maybe,
maybe I’d be writing a different story.

I have never actually done this before; asking people to consider teaching. I believe that
entering into the profession should come out of your own will. I have never recommended
Teach for Malaysia to anyone. In fact, I’d be all-skeptical to anyone who are actually
considering to join TFM. What are you in for? To have connections with top corporate
partners? To meet CEOs of this and that? To be featured in newspapers, radio, magazines,
online blogs? What are you in for? Is it the tagline? Is it really for the kids? I’ve been asked
these questions before and I personally used to think that it was a fair concern. It needs to be
out there that being a teacher, through TFM or not, is not even a tad bit glamorous. You don’t
get paid on time, you’d be missing best friends’ weddings, family gatherings, birthdays etc.,
you have crazy deadlines and you’ll feel like crap because you don’t know how you’re doing.
Nobody sends you a “good job” email on that awesome class you just had, or though you
had. Are you sure you want to be a teacher? If you think it is a walk in the park, be rest
assured that it’ll be the ghettoest, most messed up park you have ever walked in. I used to
think that only the strong should be a teacher. Only those who know that they won’t quit
should be a teacher. Today, I don’t care anymore. Today, I realized how desperate the
country is and beggars, can’t be choosers. If you have gone through the education system and
came out alive, teach. If you have no idea what to teach, trust me you’ll learn. You’d be
surprised to meet kids who have never been told that cleanliness is a virtue, that rempit is not
a legit career path, that you don’t have to give up at 16.

Listen to me, drop everything you’re doing and come back to school. Teach them to be
human beings because they need to know that screaming at a lady is not the way to speak,
that not knowing how to read at 13 is not cool, that cursing at your teachers is rude and to
talk back to your mother in front of everybody at school would get you to every hell of every
single religion in the world. Teach. If you think it’s too hard and teaching isn’t your thing,
then quit. But you can’t quit teaching if you have not actually tried teaching. My point is,
every one should teach. Decide later if it is something you want to do in the long run. Just
teach. Join TFM, do it the normal route, stop a kid in the middle of the road and ask him/her
to tell you the multiplication table, tell him/her a random fact about Egypt or aeroplanes,
teach them the right intonation after seeing a question mark, teach.

If you think, all this doesn’t make sense and it’s just some really long facebook status/note by
a crazy lady who just cried in a high school toilet, then darling, my dear, you have not taught
in a classroom where half of them can barely read and write and the other half is just lost by
this immense language barrier that no logical inspiring words can get through them. So teach.
I am on my facebook knees.
This morning however, was different. In fact, I wasn’t teaching at all this morning. I was in a
form 4 class, of which I only teach PJK to the six of the girls every week. So what was I
doing with the entire class? I was invigilating their mid year exam, Sejarah Kertas 3 to be
exact; An open book test where students are required to write an essay on a topic given. Just
as I finished handing out the exam papers to all 35 students, one boy put his hand up and
asked, “ujian apa hari ni, cikgu?” and I went, “HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT
PAPER YOU ARE SITTING FOR ON THE DAY OF THE EXAM AND EVEN AFTER I
HAVE HANDED OUT THE EXAM PAPER” silently in my head. Out loud, I said, “ujian
Sejarah, kertas 3. Ujian ni boleh tengok buku, so keluarkan lah buku”. Half of the classroom
started to rummage through their bags and looked under their tables for books while the other
half put their heads down and went to sleep. Ten minutes into the exam, they were all just
staring at their books, opened to the first page. I went to a boy and asked if he knew what he
was supposed to do. He shook his head and continued staring at his book. Another boy
looked at me pleadingly, and asked, “cikgu, macam mana nak buat ni?” No one was writing
anything. No one.
I went to one of the girls and asked her to read the question and then looked for the answer in
the book. The first question she asked after I told her that was, “bab berapa tu?” and I could
sense the whole class was waiting for me to tell her which chapter to open to. I knew then,
that they have never read a single thing from their textbook nor have they learned anything in
the past four months of school. Heck, I wouldn’t be going too far if I said they barely learned
anything in the last 10 years of school. At that moment, I saw their future flashed through my
eyes and I wanted to cry.
I wanted to cry because it was unfair for them to be sitting for an exam that they are clearly
not ready for. I wanted to cry because someone allowed this to happen. I wanted to cry
because as I was explaining to some of the students on how to do the exam and they were
eagerly listening, while I was quietly panicking because I am no way near being a Sejarah
Form 4 teacher. I wanted to cry because I felt incompetent, wishing I remembered what I
learned back in From 4 so that I can teach them something at that moment. I wanted to cry
because it is not their fault. But most of all, I wanted to cry because I have 200 students and I
have classes back to back from 7.30 AM up to 10.00PM every day that it would be
completely impossible to take on new students. All I could think of was how if only all the
educated people in the country would spend their time teaching these kids, then maybe,
maybe I’d be writing a different story.
I have never actually done this before; asking people to consider teaching. I believe that
entering into the profession should come out of your own will. I have never recommended
Teach for Malaysia to anyone. In fact, I’d be all-skeptical to anyone who are actually
considering to join TFM. What are you in for? To have connections with top corporate
partners? To meet CEOs of this and that? To be featured in newspapers, radio, magazines,
online blogs? What are you in for? Is it the tagline? Is it really for the kids? I’ve been asked
these questions before and I personally used to think that it was a fair concern. It needs to be
out there that being a teacher, through TFM or not, is not even a tad bit glamorous. You don’t
get paid on time, you’d be missing best friends’ weddings, family gatherings, birthdays etc.,
you have crazy deadlines and you’ll feel like crap because you don’t know how you’re doing.
Nobody sends you a “good job” email on that awesome class you just had, or though you
had. Are you sure you want to be a teacher? If you think it is a walk in the park, be rest
assured that it’ll be the ghettoest, most messed up park you have ever walked in. I used to
think that only the strong should be a teacher. Only those who know that they won’t quit
should be a teacher. Today, I don’t care anymore. Today, I realized how desperate the
country is and beggars, can’t be choosers. If you have gone through the education system and
came out alive, teach. If you have no idea what to teach, trust me you’ll learn. You’d be
surprised to meet kids who have never been told that cleanliness is a virtue, that rempit is not
a legit career path, that you don’t have to give up at 16.
Listen to me, drop everything you’re doing and come back to school. Teach them to be
human beings because they need to know that screaming at a lady is not the way to speak,
that not knowing how to read at 13 is not cool, that cursing at your teachers is rude and to
talk back to your mother in front of everybody at school would get you to every hell of every
single religion in the world. Teach. If you think it’s too hard and teaching isn’t your thing,
then quit. But you can’t quit teaching if you have not actually tried teaching. My point is,
every one should teach. Decide later if it is something you want to do in the long run. Just
teach. Join TFM, do it the normal route, stop a kid in the middle of the road and ask him/her
to tell you the multiplication table, tell him/her a random fact about Egypt or aeroplanes,
teach them the right intonation after seeing a question mark, teach.
If you think, all this doesn’t make sense and it’s just some really long facebook status/note by
a crazy lady who just cried in a high school toilet, then darling, my dear, you have not taught
in a classroom where half of them can barely read and write and the other half is just lost by
this immense language barrier that no logical inspiring words can get through them. So teach.
I am on my facebook knees.