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Communications Intermediate Level

How to be a good communicator?

 Give full attention to people while they are talking to you.


 Encourage other people to talk, and ask appropriate questions.
 Present your ideas so that others are receptive to your point of view.
 Treat people fairly and let others know how you want to be treated.
 Value teamwork and know how to build cooperation and commitment.
 Show respect for people’s ideas and feelings, even when you disagree with them.
 Accept differences and conflict as a normal part of any work environment, and know how to
address them constructively.
 Strive to understand other people and to be empathetic.
 Be open to negative feedback, and communicate difficult truths in a respectful way.
 Be able to easily win people’s trust and respect.
 Check to make sure you have understood what other people are trying to communicate.
 Be confident and at ease giving a presentation.
 Avoid making absolutist judgments about people (e.g. “He/she is always that way.”)
 Follow through on your commitments.
 Be able to work with people you have difficulties with without becoming negative yourself.

Communicate Effectively

Connect
 Establish rapport with people
 Pay attention to people’s facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
 See things from the other person’s point of view.
 Adjust your communication style to match theirs.
 Avoid criticizing, making negative judgments, or saying that the other person is wrong.
 Show interest in the other person’s interests and concerns.

Listen
 Encourage people to talk.
 Show your willingness to listen. Minimize distractions. Attend to the other person with your
whole body (your body language, eyes, and facial expressions). Nod your head and give verbal
cues to communicate that you are paying attention.
 Ask open-ended questions.
 Listen to what people are trying to communicate, not just to what they are saying. Listen to their
emotions. Listen also to what they want.
 Check to make sure you understand. Use your own words to reflect what you have heard and
noticed.

Communicate
 Speak with sincerity and conviction.
 Be sensitive to other people’s communication style.

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 Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want people to understand your position? Lend their
support? Approve your request?
 Listen at least as much as you talk.
 Attune what you say with how you say it. Keep your messages fitting with your tone of voice,
facial expression, and body language.

Speak
 Project confidence.
 Connect with your audience.
 Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want people to understand your position? Lend their
support? Approve your request?
 Keep it short and simple. Most communication can accomplish only one objective, develop three
main points, and hold people’s attention only so long.
 Ask for feedback; was the message understood.

General  Personal
1. What could/would you do today?

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2. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

3. Do you have any specific long-term goal? How do you plan on reaching it? In what way will
reaching this goal make your life more satisfying?

4. If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be? How do your feelings about
death influence the way you lead your life?

5. Which people do you hate? Why?

6. What is your most treasured memory?

7. What would constitute a ‘perfect’ evening for you?

8. Do you think men or women have it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the
opposite sex?

9. If you were to die right now, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't
you told them yet?

10. In what way does a person inspire you?

11. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?

12. Is there anything so important that you would sacrifice your very soul for it?

13. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Is there anything that you hope to do that is
even better?

14. What was your most enjoyable dream? Your worst nightmare?

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15. Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex? To someone in your family? If so, how
did you deal with it?

16. Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as your lover?

17. When you tell a story, how do you exaggerate or embellish it? Why?

18. In what way do you feel in control of the course of your life?

19. For what reason did you last yell at someone?

20. Would you feel ill at ease going alone to the cinema? What about going on holiday by yourself?

21. In what way would you like to be famous?

22. How would you like to be remembered after you die? What would you like said at your funeral?
Whom would you like to speak?

23. How much would it bother you to have an ugly, stupid or crippled child?

24. How would you play in a game against someone much less talented than you? Would it matter
who was watching?

25. Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a very long time? Why haven't you done it?

26. What are your most compulsive habits? Do you regularly struggle to break any of these habits?

27. What from your childhood has proven most valuable? Most difficult to overcome? What could
make life not worth living?

28. If you were unconcerned about what others would think, what might you do?

29. Would you like to wake up in another person's body tomorrow?

30. How do you feel about God?


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31. Who is the most important person in your life? What could you do to improve the relationship?
Will you do it?

32. What would you change about the way that you were raised? In what ways would you treat your
children differently?

33. What things do you do, that you don't want to do? Why?

34. If you found yourself on a nudist beach, how would you feel? How much do you like your body?

35. What do you value most in a relationship?

36. If there was a public execution on television, how would you feel?

37. What things are too personal to discuss with others?

38. How would you feel about becoming paralyzed?

39. When was the last time you stole something? Why haven't you stolen anything since then?

40. What do you like best about your life?

41. What do you like least?

42. How do you feel about someone more successful than you?

43. What things do you do, to favourably impress other people?

44. Do you think it is bad to break a promise? What does it take for you to trust someone?

45. What would you never willingly sacrifice?

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46. How much impact do you have on the people you meet? Has someone you met significantly
influenced your life?

47. In what way would you like to have more physical contact? Could you initiate it?

48. What has been your biggest disappointment in life? Your biggest success?

49. How do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?

50. Are there any drugs you would enjoy trying given a legal opportunity to do so? What appeals to
you about such drugs?

51. If you could determine the dream you will have tonight, what would it be?

52. Given the chance, is there a time you would return to?

53. What would you like to be doing five years from now? What do you think you will be doing five
years from now?

54. What is the most embarrassing thing you can imagine? What bothers you about looking silly in
front of strangers?

55. Do you find anything disturbing about immortality? What age seems ideal to you?

56. How much do you expect from someone who loves you? What would make you feel betrayed?

57. Do you feel you have enough time? If not, what would give you that feeling?

58. What kind of people do you like to spend time with? What do such people bring out in you that
others do not?

Sentence Completions
1. I am a person who ...

2. One of the things I'd like people to know about me is ...

3. One of the things I have to do to survive is ...

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4. All my life, I ...

5. It isn't easy for me to admit ...

6. Sometimes I feel frustrated when ...

7. If I didn't care what people thought, I would ...

8. Ever since I was a child, I ...

9. One of the things I'd like to be valued and appreciated for is ...

10. One of the things I wish people understood about me is ...

11. One of the things I appreciate about my parents is ...

12. One of the things that first attracted me to my partner was ...

13. I feel especially happy with my partner when ...

14. I feel especially happy with my friends when ...

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