You are on page 1of 3

Currently more and more people respect elders and become convinced that older people should

live with their families, which is in contrast to the view that older people should live at a nursing
home. What is your opinion?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nowadays, population aging and its impacts on contemporary society is a controversial topics. Commented [M1]: are
An increasing number of people are concerned about their twilight lives when they get older and
whether should they should live with their family or move on to nursing home. My view is that it
has more advantages than disadvantages if the elderly live with other aged people for the
following reasons.

Firstly, due to the working pressure and modern lifestyle, the young, nowadays, have to work in
excessively long hours. As a consequence, they do not have sufficient time for taking care of Commented [M2]: to take
their old parents, leading to most of the elders fell lonely and depressed when their son or Commented [M3]: feeling
daughter is away for work. This has raised the importance of nursing homes where aged people
can meet and talk to each other, and easily find the empathy among people in the same
generation, while their children feel more secure about their parents when they are at work.

Moreover, It is obvious that living in nursing homes is beneficial and essential for senior
citizens’ health. This is because nursing homes have the most state-of-the-art equipment and
facilities as well as qualified doctors and staffs who are specialized in elderly medical care.

Another reason is attributed to the globalization, an increasingly number of youngsters prefer to Commented [M4]: when
settle down or work overseas. This leaves them no choice else, excepting to send their aged Commented [M5]: but
parents to nursing homes.

On the other hand, those who disapprove of sending their elderly parents to nursing home believe
that this practice is against the traditionally moral values. Especially in Eastern culture, most of
the old would feel unrespected or neglected if they were separated from their children and Commented [M6]: they are not respected
grandchildren. However, I suppose that the number of those people will decline if government
launch more campaigns, propaganda about the tremendous benefits of nursing homes.

All things considered, living in nursing homes has become an important issue for not only old
people, but also the young. Despite the fact that it does more good than harm, we should not
ignore the elders’ preference, and respect their choices as a gratitude for their contributions to
society.

Grade

Task 8 ▪ sufficiently addresses all parts of the task


Response ▪ presents a well-developed response to the question with
relevant, extended and supported ideas
Cohesion and 7.5 ▪sequences information and ideas logically
Coherence ▪uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although
there may be some under-use
▪ presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
Vocabulary 7.5 ▪ uses a wide range of vocabulary
▪ may produce occasional errors in word choice
Grammar 7 ▪ uses a variety of complex structures
▪ produces frequent error-free sentences
▪ has good control of grammar and punctuation but may
make a few errors
Overall 7.5 Overall, your essay is good.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ngoài ra các bạn cho mình hỏi thêm chút xíu. Theo mình hiểu sự khác nhau giữa yêu cầu của đề
: “view A, view B, what is your opinon (như đề trên) và “view A, view B, dicuss both view” là

What your opinon Dicuss both view


Request đề cập nhiều hơn về ý kiến mà 1 paragraph cho ý kiến ủng hộ
mình ủng hộ (2-3 paragraphs), và 1 paragraph cho ý kiến
nói sơ lược về ý kiến phản bác phản bác.
(1 paragraph)
Structure -Introduction -Introduction
- reason for support -discuss first view
- reason for support -discuss secon view
- argument for contrast -conclusion
- conclusion
Theo cách hiêu của mình có đúng không, ví dụ như đề trên đưa ra 2 quan điểm khác nhau nhưng
lại hỏi “what í your opinon” thì mình làm theo cấu trúc nào là hợp lý. Cảm ơn các bạn rất rất
nhiều.