El Fili for Idiots

EL FILI By the by: these are only the keypoints of the chapters.

Any small details were probably neglected. If you wish to know these details, just read the goddamn book :)) Chapter 1: On Deck (Sa Ibabaw ng Kubyerta) − Bapor Tabo − Boat ferrying passengers over the pasig river − Holds similarity's to the country − Round : No Direction − Nice on the outside, Shitty on the inside − The machinery is old − rich and the poor are separated − People suggested some things to increase the boat speed − Dona Victorina – remove the indios − Don Custodio – raise ducks to eat snails, smoothing the riverbed (dumbass) − Simoun – build a straight path using the indios Chapter 2: Below Deck (Sa Ilalim ng Kubyerta) − Heated argument between Basilio, Capt. Basilio, Isagani − Kapitan tiago sent basilio away in order to smoke opium − Padre Irene did this in order to kill Tiago for inheretence − Spanish School − Capt. Basilio's argument : counter − venue? : Makaraig's place − funding? : tuition, from the students, AND the teachers − Enter Simoun − argument bewteen S and I − S: buy my jewels − I: No, we dont need them − S:Then have some beer − I: No, I dont drink beer − S: Camora was right, you guys can't afford beer cause you're all squatters − I: Tell Camora that he drinks too much wine I: (rants about Fire and water) Chapter 3: Mga Alamat − Malapad na Bato − shows that colonialism is bad for your health − Donya Geronima − gender discrimination − San Nicholas − Chinese dude converting to Christian because his life was at risk Chapter 4: Kabesang Tales − Telesforo Juan De Dios (got it memorized?) − Lives in the jungle

− fixed the jungle, but wife and daughter died during the fixing − Friar's came, and tried to take his land − he ended up paying rent − started at 20, then 50, then 200 (wtf) − Has/d 3 kids − Lucia (dead) − Tano (Guardya Cibil ATM) − Juli (fine) − Brought around a gun (banned), a bolo (banned) and an ax (got caught by bandits) Chapter 5: A Cochero’s Christmas Eve − coach driver named Sinong, who was bringing Basilio, somewhere... − delayed due to − forgetting his cedula − Procession − Methusalem − 3 Kings − Sad kids with Torches − San Jose − Parol dudes − Blessed Virgin Mary − No light in the coach − Basilio walked shortly after, only to notice Capt Basilio with − Simoun – selling jewels − Alferes – asked for watch − Parish Priest – asked for earrings − The bad news − Cattle are dying − the old dude who took care of the forest died − note: some1 even offered basilio an autopsy opportunity, but Basilio declined − Kabesang Tales was kidnapped (meh) Chapter 6: Basilio − Basilio goes to mom's grave, and remember's his childhood − served in Captain Tiago's home in exchange for tuition − went to San Juan De Letran − classmates disliked him − won at cockfighting, bought shoes and hat − fended against the attempted mockery of his teacher − fought a saber-wielding maniac cadet with a cane, and won (norris in the making) − transferred to Ateneo for medicine − originally, Tiago wanted law so he could get easy service, but he could also get special poison for his cockfighters from the blood of diseased Chinese people. Win-Win situation − was able to treat people

− he treated a lepper, who gave him Maria Clara's locket (Maria Clara → Lepper → Basilio → Juli) Chapter 7: Simoun − Enter Simoun (again....) − he digs for the treasure buried 13 years ago − Basilio recognizes him, and reveals himself − Simoun = Crisostomo Ibarra (for those of you who slept during Filipino in both 3rd AND 2nd year) − both have an argument regarding how handle the situation − Simoun wants bloody revolution by nurturing the corrupt government − Basilio just wants knowledge, which he claims should attain him justice Chapter 8: Merry Christmas − Juli woke up expecting a miracle − she placed money at the foot of the Virgin Mary, hoping it would multiply − Juli prepares for maid work at Hermana Penchang's − either she forgot to greet Selo merry Christmas, or didn't out of consideration that he didn't have anything to give to her − Juli leaves, then Selo becomes mute (malas....) − Rizal explains Christmas back then as a time where you had * Uncomfortable, jam-packed churches * Children kissing a long train of relatives * Instant kiddie performances (sing this, dance, declaim) * Money meant for kids actually goes to the parents Chapter 9: Pilates − there were 3 Pilates thought to have been connected with the events of Selo − Alferes − took away the guns, leaving Tales helpless − said he was just following orders − Hermana Penchange − didn't help Juli pay for Tales's randsom − blames this event on God (b*tch) − Padre Clemente − called for the gunban, leading to Tales's capture − yet again, blames it on God − Tales eventually goes home, realizing that his already-poor father is mute, his land's been taken away, and his young, beautiful daughter Juli is now scrubbing the toilets of an over-zealous nun. Great. Chapter 10: Wealth and Misery − Simoun pays Tales a visit, bringing jewels to sell − Tales worries about the bandits, then Simoun shows off his awesome guns skills

(200 paces is like shooting something 300 feet away) − People come to buy his jewels − Capitan Basilio (father of Sinang) − Capitana Tika (mom of Sinang), − Sinang (and her husband and child), − Hermana Penchang (who wants to buy a diamond ring for the Blessed Virgin at Antipolo). − Simoun brings FAKE jewels, disguising them as − * Necklace of Cleopatra * Rings found in the ruins of Carthage * Some treasures brought back by Hannibal after the Battle of Cannae * Ring of Sulla * Earrings found in the villa of Annius Mucius Papilinus in Pompeii * Sapphire from Ceylon, emeralds from Peru, ruby, turquoises from Persia, diamonds (black, rosy, green) * Ring of the Princess of Lamballe * Pendants to a lady-in-waiting of Marie Antoinette * Oriental mother-of-pearl * Others from the Golconda mines − no one bought, however, due to the lack of value they put in antiquity, which in turn is due to the lack of museums − simoun reminds everyone that he also buys jewels, which leads to him discovering the whereabouts of the locket he gave Maria Clara (which is now Juli's) and offers Tales 500 pesos − Tales says he must consult with his daughter, but on the way to the convent, he is angered by then kills the landlord, his wife, and his tenant. Note, they benefited from him losing his land − Tales took simoun's revolver in exchange for the locket − Simoun, upon hearing this, realizes his plans have sucseeded, and heads to Los Banos on foot, − he hopes to meet bandits, who he hopes would join his cause Chapter 11: Los Banos − the Captain-General goes hunting, but goes home empty − a musical band, a train of friars, and an army of politicians were following him − they even planned on dressing someone as a deer and making him run... − … which the General declined in fear that he might miss − Padre Camorra, Sibyla, and Irene played cards with the General afterwards − the latter two were losing on purpose in order to get in close with the General − note: Sibyla is against the building of the Spanish school, Irene is otherwise − They had a heated discussion regarding the school, with Padre Fernandez siding with Irene regardless of him being a Domincan, like Sibyla Chapter 12: Placido Penitente − Placido is a smart kid, with even smarter ideas − he refuses to study due − to the lack of attention his teachers were giving him

− his friend, Juanito Pelaez, sucks up to the teachers in the form of gifts − his name means “suffers in silence” (cool, huh?) − Rizal noted that school sucked back then due too − no books − a**hole teachers − too many classmates (400 of them in one room O.O) − too many No Class days Chapter 13: Physics Class − Padre Millon − studied Physics and Theology, teaches Chemistry and Physics, and metaphysics is his hobby − handles scientific information as it were Philosophy − he likes messing up his students − hates being messed up by his students − he makes students memorize lessons without actually explaining them (nosarbo) − his classroom has virtually NOTHING in it other than chairs, a usually-empty blackboard, and chairs(?) − Placido attacks − usually a pacifist, but get's aggressive if provoked − was “attacked” by Millon, but successfully countered − Rizal's Philosophy of Teaching − Class sizes should be small. − Teachers should not humiliate students. − A teacher should be technically competent about the subject matter being taught, and he/she should teach with love. − Too many vacation breaks can ruin the momentum of a student, and can make them seek non-academic forms of recreation. Chapter 14: A Student’s Lodging House − list of students in the lodge − Isagani − prefers legitimacy over secrecy when dealing with problems − pretty much your run-of-the-mill “super student” − Pelaez − opportunistic − backs up his comrades, but flees when danger looms in − Makaraig − rich, and nationalistic − owns the lodge, and provides it to other students for free

− Pecson − a pessimistic person − Sandoval − a Spaniard student who supports the Philiipines Chapter 15: Senor Pasta − a lawyer who earns most of his living from the friars − calls the Philippines the “Land of Proposals”. Numerous possibilities, no actualities (Cho!) − Isagani comes to him regarding the PWK (paaralan ng wikang kastilla) − both argue a bit − Isagani : optimistic, Senor Pasta : practical − it ends with Senor Pasta declining Isagani's request, and telling him to live a “normal” life Chapter 16: Travails of a Chinaman − the “chinaman” here would be Quiroga − a business man who wants to open a consulate, with him as the head − many people hated his guts, including... − G. Gonzales − a brown haired man who “did not receive money “ from Quiroga − some who is against his jueteng operations because he lost − Quiroga invited his “enemies” to a dinner his bazaar in Escolta − after dinner Simoun arrives − people tell him to complain about the poor economic environment to the Governor General − Don Timoteo Pelaez complains about corruption in customs (adwana). − Quiroga wanted to get into the good graces of a woman because she had a government official wrapped around her finger. So he offers her three pieces of jewelry to choose from. Unfortunately, she chooses ALL three. So now, Quiroga owes the jeweller Simoun P9,000 which was a princely sum back then. − Instead of asking for the entire sum, Simoun just asks for P7,000. He also asks Quiroga to send money-borrowing soldiers and government officials to him. He further instructs Quiroga to send those owing Quiroga money to Simoun instead. And lastly, Simoun asks Quiroga to store some rifles in Quiroga’s warehouse. All that for a 22.2% discount off the P9,000 price tag. Otherwise, Quiroga will have to pay Simoun the entire amount right away. To sweeten the deal, Simoun promises that Quiroga will be

allowed to bring in contraband items through customs. − Don Custodio talks about a commission sent to India to study the Shoe Program for soldiers. No shoes for indio soldiers. Spanish soldiers may wear shoes. − Ben Zayb and P. Camorra talk about magnetism and magic. Juanito Pelaez speaks about the talking head in the fair/carnival of Mr. Leeds. − Simoun suggests that they all see the talking head of the famous Sphinx to settle once and for all if it truly is the work of the devil, or just a trick with mirrors. Chapter 17: The Quiapo Fair − The 12 men journey their way to Mr.Leed's tent − Fr. Camorra stares at young girls − gets excited when he sees Paulita Gomez − Fr. Camorra and Ben Zayb notice 3 sculptures − La Prenza Filipina − Bayan ng Abaka − a sculpture that looks like Simoun − the moment they notice this, Simoun goes missing Chapter 18: Deceptions − they find themeselves in the tent of Mr Leeds − Ben Zayb is skeptical, and searches the room for mirrors that may cause an optical illusion − Mr. Leeds shouts out “Deremof!” (possible anagram of Freedom) − Imuthis the Sphinx appears, and narrates his story, which is strikingly similar to that of Simoun's − Both studied abroad. − − − − − − − Both got into trouble with the religious orders. Both had a foe who was a priest, who was in love with their girlfriend. Both had a girlfriend who was the daughter of a priest. Both “died” in a lake. Both their girlfriends were raped in a temple/convent by their enemy priest. Both returned to their country to seek revenge/justice. Both returned under a different identity: Imuthis became “The Sphinx” while Ibarra became “Simoun”.

− Padre Salvi noticed the similarity with Ibarra, and goes into shock − Simoun was behind the whole thing

Chapter 19: The Fuse − Placido was sent home from school − upon reaching his house, he saw his mom − he talked about taking revenge on the school, but his mom argued otherwise, and asked for him to seek forgivness − he went for a walk shortly after − He then encountered Simoun and Mr Leeds − Mr Leeds was about the get on a boat to HK − Placido thought this was the perfect means of exacting his revenge, as the Friars bought goods from HK, so he asked Simoun if he could hitch a ride − Simoun asked for an explanation, and Placido was happy to oblige − after the story, Simoun told him instead about his plans for revolution − Placido joined him, and sent his mom to the province − After recruiting Placido, Simoun blocked out his emotions for Maria Clara, as they might compromise his goal − Chapter 20: The Arbitrator − Don Custodio − a Spaniard who came to the philippines because... − he was a nobody in spain − he couldn't get his liver treated − He transferred to the philippines, and proclaimed himself a powerful man, and of course, everyone believed him − nicknamed “Buena Tinta” due to his expertise in writing papers − this was a lie, of course − He had to decide whether he should side with the Spanish-Hungry students, or the friars at UST, regarding the PWK, AOK?

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