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The Temptation of Psychiatrist Fran Kushner by Satan

An Allegorical Tale

By

Anthony J. Fejfar, B.A., J.D., Esq., Coif

©Copyright 2010 by Anthony J. Fejfar

Fran Kushner attended Creighton Medical School where he received his medical

degree with a certification in psychiatry. Fran Kushner was jewish, of course, and so

were his children, although, as to his wife, we are not quite sure. His wife, of course,

was fat and dumpy, as are the wives of most psychiatrists. It seems that psychiatrists

prefer to find beautiful mistresses from among their patients, rather than marrying them.

Naturally, as a jew, Fran Kushner was a hypcrite, as are most jews, following the

example set by the Pharisees as the time of Jesus. In fact, it may be that they are such

accomplished hypocrites that they do not even realize that they are hypocrites. For

example, one day Fran Kushner has a client in for therapy who was a law and theology

expert, whose name was Stan Rainosek. On the first day of therapy, Dr. Fran Kushner

asked Stan if he was suidcidal at that moment, hoping to make his client suidcidal so he

could put him on a psychiatric ward and collect a fat psychiatrist’s fee of $1,700 per

hour, per a 24 hour day, for 9 months, when Dr. Kushner only actually would see his

patient for 30 minutes,every two weeks. Of course, we all know that this was felonious

kidnapping and false imprisonment on the part of Dr. Kushner, but, as Saint Jude says, I

guess nothing is perfect. In any event. Stan Rainosek was not suicidal that day, and in

fact, he soon asked Dr. Kushner if he, Dr. Kushner, thought that a person has an

Immortal Soul. Dr. Kushner replied that he thought that the “Soul” was simply a
metaphor for the inner Self of the person. Stan followed up by asking Kushner if he

really thought that a person had a Soul, as such. Kushner replied no. The rest of the

“therapy” session was uneventful, and soon Stan Rainosek left and Dr. Kushner’s next

client came into Kushner’s office and sat down.

“Dr. Kushner, you may not believe this, but I am Satan, and, I am here to tempt

you. I am in a position to offer you a Rolls Royce convertible automobile, in exchange

for you Immortal Soul. In fact, it just so happens that I have the Standard Form

Contract for just this very deal, right here in my briefcase.” “What kind of gas mileage

does it get?” asked the jew, Dr. Kushner. “Not bad,” replied Satan,” it is better than

you will get with a Mercedes Sedan.” “Well, I am not sure.” Said Dr. Kushner. “Well,”

said Satan, “you do believe that you have an Immortal Soul, don’t you?” “Well,” said

Dr. Kushner, “my official position is that the “Immortal Soul” is simply a metaphor for

who a person is.” “Hmmn,” replied Satan, “I really need a definte answer here, do you

or do you not believe that you have an Immortal Soul that survives bodily death?”

“What is the right answer?” asked Dr. Kushner. “Well,” said Satan, “it really depends

where you are at, and what your true intent is. Just as Don Juan DeMatus tells us.

However, perhaps you should just flip a coin to decide. But, I will give you a hint, if you

agree that you have an Immortal Soul, then you may in fact get the Rolls Royce.”

“Well,” said Dr.Kushner, “I agree, that I do have an Immortal Soul.” “All right, sign

here please, the Standard Form Contract for the sale of your Immortal Soul for a Rolls

Royce for your lifetime.” Dr. Kushner signed the Standard Form Contract. “When, do

I get my Rolls Royce” asked Dr. Kushner? ‘Well,” replied Satan, “first we must deal

with Paragraph 10b and Paragraph 15c, found in the fine print of the Standard Form
Contract” which Dr. Kushner just signed. “You see, naturally enough, Pargraph 10b

points out that the deal is only for your natural life, and, that of course, if were to die at

any time by reason of violence or accident, of course the deal is terminated and you go to

Hell. Additionally, just awhile ago, you assured your client Stan Rainosek that the

Immortal Soul does not exist. Agreed?” “Well, sure,” said Dr. Kushner. “Well, as you

might guess, Paragraph 15c provides that if you are at any time in your life guilty of

Sophistry, the contract is forfeited and you immediately die and go to Hell. Since, you

have taken a position with Stan Rainosek that the Immortal Soul does not exist, you are

guilty of three logical fallcies, namely, the Fallacy of Logical Contradiction, the Fallacy

of Shifting Ground, and the Fallacy of Hypocrisy. Therefore, under Paragraph 15c of

the Standard Form Contract you are subject to immediate execution and are damned to

Hell for trillions of years.” Satan then pointed his finger at Dr. Kushner and struck him

dead, and then, teleported his body and Immortal Soul into Hell for trillions of years of

torment.

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