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Ori Alon 60 Anderson St.

Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Beacon, NY 12508

Empowering Clerks Network ​917-5334703
Department of Hope www.​supportivebureaucracy.org

May 18th, 2018

Mr. Aaron Schlossberg, ESQ., PLLC
275 Madison Avenue 14th Floor
New York, NY 10016

Dear Mr Schlossberg,

We understand that you must be hurting right now and it's hard to imagine what
it's like to be in your shoes. Such media attention must make you feel bad, and we
hope you have a true friend you can share your feelings with (consider awarding
them with a True Friend Diploma, BFF). As a courtesy of our Commissioner of
Compassion, we'd love to offer you empathy services. If you'd wish to apply for a
Forgiver's License, please file the attached Form 601(c), the Compassion Exam and
submit your application to the ECN (Attn: Processing Department) with a photo you'd
like to use on your license. If you wish to apply for a Class B license (forgive others
only) please note that occasionally applicants may receive a free upgrade to Class A
license (forgive oneself and others). Please remember to contact our customer
service department with any questions you may have. A famous Rabbi once said that
questions are 1348.7% more likely to make the world a better place than concrete
answers.

As dedicated allies to white men according to the NY Diversity Authority White
Men Registry of 2018 ​(#BeTheChange)​, it's a true honor for us to offer you our
services, which helped tens of thousands of recipients around the world to increase
their self esteem, happiness and Love Efficiency Rates (LER). Research have shown
that helping white men improve their self esteem is one of the most effective ways to
make our country more resilient, as ​white men are significantly more vulnerable
to become victims of oppressing others than their peers. Therefore the ECN, in
full collaboration with the CSB has initiated the Emotional Reflection and

Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network www.supportivebureaucracy.org
Forgiver’s License (Class A&B) • Joy Permits (6 months) • Refurbished Report Cards • DIY Certificates of Recognition •
Adults Special Achievement Stickers • Pain Deeds • Certified Apology Declarations • True Friend Diploma • OK Parent
Awards • Clown Visa • Aunt/Uncle Adoption services • Racism Release Form • Pain Deeds • Empowering Clerks training
program • Open Carry permits for musical instruments • Rejection Letter Generator • Village Fool Diploma
Advancement of White Men Act (ERAWMA, 52248-E) which encourages people of
color, women and the LGBT community to support white men like yourself in
expressing vulnerability and deal with their emotions in a constructive way.

It is people like you who inspire millions of people across this great country to
reflect on their true self and act more like mensches. It is people like you who make
America even greater as you offer us an opportunity to become better, you are a
pawn in the hands of Progress. The ECN would like to thank you for this great service
and offer you in return some of our rich catalog free of charge. The Empowering
Clerks Network, LLCE is currently the most efficient organization in the northern
hemisphere offering Playful Paperwork services. We are proud to offer a variety of
official documents including the Forgiver’s License, Joy Permit, Pain Deed,
Compassion Card, Adults Special Achievement Stickers, Refurbished Report Card,
DIY Certificate of Recognition and Certified Apology Declaration, among others.

We wish you a joyful spring,
Ori Alon,
Executive Empowering Clerk, CSB

Center for Supportive Bureaucracy Empowering Clerks Network www.supportivebureaucracy.org
Forgiver’s License (Class A&B) • Joy Permits (6 months) • Refurbished Report Cards • DIY Certificates of Recognition •
Adults Special Achievement Stickers • Pain Deeds • Certified Apology Declarations • True Friend Diploma • OK Parent
Awards • Clown Visa • Aunt/Uncle Adoption services • Racism Release Form • Pain Deeds • Empowering Clerks training
program • Open Carry permits for musical instruments • Rejection Letter Generator • Village Fool Diploma