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James Kriz

Ms. Basile

English 9, Period 7

25 May 2018

Romeo and Juliet Research Project: Parental Pressure and its Effects on Youth

The problem with parental pressure on children to meet unreal expectations is that it

forces children to change their standards and beliefs in order to satisfy what someone else wants.

Currently there is a great deal of pressure applied by parents for their children to succeed in areas

like athletics and academics. There is a mentality among parents in America that every child has

to have a special thing they are good at that the parents can be proud of. It is true that a little

extra pressure and motivation can be good at times to push children to accomplish new goals and

learn perseverance, but this pressure becomes dangerous when a parent loses sight of the child's

goals and best interests. ​Romeo and Juliet ​is a classic play by Shakespeare that provides relevant

examples of problems faced in modern society today, such as parental pressure and a hate of

people because they are different. Even though ​Romeo and Juliet ​was written hundreds of years

ago, it still is an impactful piece of literature that shows the effects of a culture of hate in a

society. In ​Romeo and Juliet​, Juliet is under constant pressure from her mother and father to get

married just because the potential spouse is rich. This pressure is a perfect example of the kind

of dangerous pressure that leads to children taking extreme measures to succeed and creates

multiple problems. There can be several consequences of extreme parental pressure that include

lowering a child's self esteem and killing off a child's imagination at a young age. A recent study

showed that children who experience constant pressure from parents were twice as likely to
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develop anxiety and depression than children who were less pressured by parents. (Kates) That

means that overly involved parents could be harming their child's happiness and emotional health

without even realizing it. This overwhelming oversight by parents can lead to kids taking

extreme measures like suicide to draw attention to their struggle. This is what happened in

Romeo and Juliet​ to the pair of starcrossed lovers, who were desperately in love, but also had

parents who they could not trust to support them in their struggle. Other extreme measures that

can be taken by children when under parent pressure are cheating or cutting corners to meet their

parent's expectations, rebelling against parents because they don´t like pressure, and distancing

themselves from the parents who are pressuring them. The reason for many children´s extreme

actions under parental pressure is the culture created in today's world, especially in America.

Many children feel the need to exceed what their parents did and make a better life for

themselves. (Julien) This culture is part of what the ¨American Dream¨ is, but it can also destroy

opportunities for people to be happy with what they do in life. According to Yale professor Jean

Adnopoz, ¨​There is a need for establishing who you are and what you are - and the coin has

changed for doing that. Parents are using their kids to establish their position within the social

order. It is a way of establishing an order because all the other ways have really fallen by the

wayside because we are not in communities anymore.¨ (Julien) The reason that parents

promoting themselves through their child's´ success is a problem is that the parents are reaping

the benefits of a child´s hard work and are not understanding the problems they are creating.

Another problem is that children look up to their parents, which leads to additional feeling of

pressure. If a young personś parent is constantly pressuring him/her to do more, the child is

naturally going to feel like he/she is failing to live up to their parents expectations. This can lead
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to unhealthy behaviors and mental illness like depression and anxiety. This is shown in ​Romeo

and Juliet ​when Juliet's father says, ¨Hang thee, young baggage! Disobedient wretch! I tell thee

what: get thee to church o' Thursday, Or never after look me in the face. Speak not. Reply not.

Do not answer me. My fingers itch.—Wife, we scarce thought us blest. That God had lent us

but this only child, but now I see this one is one too much. And that we have a curse in having

her. Out on her, hilding!​¨ ​ ​The way Capulet attacks his daughter because she does not want to be

married off if a perfect example of how sometimes parents put pressure on their children to do

certain things and shows how feeling isolated is a c​onstant theme in ​Romeo and Juliet​. The

feeling of being isolated is represented several times throughout the story like in Romeo's

banishment, Romeo´s self imposed depression after he realizes Rosaline doesn't love him, and

Romeo and Juliet's love as a whole. Juliet's reaction to finding out she is alone in her beliefs and

that her family is disappointed in her is a great example of why obsessive pressure on children is

a bad thing. Juliet threatens to commit suicide, which is an all a very real situation for many

children who struggle with parental pressure in the modern world. The trend does not appear to

be getting better any time soon though, because a 2006 study by Pew Research Center says that

56% of parents felt that ​not enough​ pressure was being applied to students, while 24% said they

thought the current amount of pressure was just right. (Wike/Horowitz) What most parents

don´t understand is that applying pressure on children to succeed in areas they are not interested

in will only lead to the child resenting pressure more. Many people are okay with being

pressured to do their best if they are doing what they love. Parents must be careful when

applying pressure in order to keep kids´ dreams alive and to allow their children to find
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something they love. In the modern society, kids need to be allowed to, in the words of dreamer

Walt Disney, ¨Whatever you do, do it well.¨

The solution to the problem posed by parental pressure on kids is simple. Parents need to

educate themselves, find better ways to connect with their kids and communicate about issues. If

parents take time to understand their kids´ feelings, and develop a good relationship with them,

the decisions made by the parents are more likely to be better for their kids. One strategy that

parents can use to connect with their kids is having open conversations every day. In order for

these talks to succeed, parents must make an effort to engage their child in a meaningful

conversation that the child cares about. (Margolies) Another solution parents can try to make

sure their kids do not take drastic measures is easing up on trying to be the best. Too many

parents fall into the trap of seeking glory through their kids, when they could be building a strong

family relationship and enjoying their lives. The most important part of the solution to the

problems posed by parental pressure is letting children live their childhood. Arizona State

Professor Suniya Luthar explains why it is so important that children must be allowed to go

through school and express who they are without unnecessary pressure to overachieve, ¨When

parents emphasize children's achievement much more than their compassion and decency during

the formative years, they are sowing the seeds of stress and poorer well-being, seen as early as

sixth grade. In order to foster well-being and academic success during the critical years

surrounding early adolescence, our findings suggest that parents should accentuate kindness and

respect for others at least as much as (or more than) stellar academic performance and

extracurricular accolades." (ASU) Luthar´s position supports.children learning how to be kind,

instead of competing for kindergarten top of the class. Another solution that helps parents
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identify the pressure they are putting on their children is for parents to step back and evaluate

their decisions. They could ask themselves things like ¨Is this the best thing for my child?¨ or ¨Is

my child going to like doing this?¨ If the answers the adult finds are inconsistent with the values

that the family holds for the child, then a change needs to be made . In conclusion, the classic

story of ​Romeo and Juliet​ can still teach many important life lessons in the modern world. One

of these lessons is that large amounts of parental pressure are not good for children because this

pressure creates unnecessary stress and hurts relationships between parents and their children.
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Works Cited

Ciciolla, Lucia, et al. ​Parents should avoid pressuring young children over grades​. 30 Nov.

2016. ​Science Daily​, www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/11/161130114722.htm.

Accessed 26 May 2018.

Julien, Andrew. “Parents Turn Up The Heat.” ​Hartford Courant​ [Hartford], 16 Dec. 2002.

Hartford Courant​,

www.courant.com/news/special-reports/hc-genstressday2dec16-story.html. Accessed 24

May 2018.

Kates, David. “Parental pressure may cause more harm than good.” ​National Post​, 3 June 2003.

National Post​, nationalpost.com/life/parental-pressure-may-cause-more-harm-than-good.

Accessed 24 May 2018.

Margolies, Lynn. “How Parents Can Help Teens Under Academic Pressure.” ​Psych Central​, 17

July 2016. ​Psych Centrak​,

psychcentral.com/lib/how-parents-can-help-teens-under-academic-pressure/. Accessed 26

May 2018.

Wike, Richard, and Juliana Menasce Horowitz. ​Parental Pressure on Students​. 24 Aug. 2006.

Pew Research Center​, www.pewglobal.org/2006/08/24/parental-pressure-on-students/.

Accessed 25 May 2018.