You are on page 1of 6

'Spare the rod and spoil the child,' our parents used to say, but these days everyone

seems to be against physical punishment for children. Like anyone else, I am firmly against gratuitous violence, particularly towards children but, in my opinion, a well-timed smack does no harm. A smack is an instant punishment which should be administered when needed. My kids are grown up now, but they got a smack when necessary, and they've grown into kind, well-balanced adults who have also smacked their own children when necessary. Kids need boundaries, and I believe that most of their bad behaviour arises because they are testing the limits of acceptable behaviour. It's part of the growing up process, and it needs to be handled in the right way. If the parent responds by saying, 'I'm really disappointed with you for doing that, don't do it again,' the child believes he's gotten away with it, so the next instance of bad behaviour will be even worse. And if you send them to their room, well, they probably don't mind that, as they can go on the computer or watch TV, knowing their parent is not going to disturb them during the allotted time of their 'punishment.' If you respond to bad behaviour by saying, 'Wait 'til your father gets home,' the punishment is deferred and, again, they've gotten away with it because when Dad gets home, he'll rightly tell Mum she should have punished Junior right away, and what the hell does she expect him to do about it now? Added to this, Junior is going to either a) be scared of his father, as he is presented as some sort of avenger or, b) consider his father ineffectual, because he's always threatened with him, but nothing ever comes of it. Either scenario is detrimental to both the parent/child relationship and discipline in the home. The most effective punishment is the short, sharp shock, administered at the time of the offence. Children, like young animals, learn through pain. If a child burns his hand on a hot kettle, he won't touch it again, because he may be curious but he's found out that hot things hurt. If a kitten is giving the mother cat trouble, the cat will cuff the kitten or give it a nip and the trouble stops. As long as the cat doesn't rip the kitten's throat out, there's no harm done, and the kitten has learned the valuable lesson that there are acceptable standards of behaviour, and if you breach those standards you'll be punished. When it comes to your own litter, a judicious tap is a good weapon to have in your armoury, as long as it is a smack and not a beating. No matter how bad the behaviour, you can never justify or excuse brutality to a child, so don't spare the rod, but don't break it across your child's back either. There are so many parents who use corporal punishment believing it is the only thing that works, or that they were spanked when they were a kid and are fine because of it. The ironic thing of it is that even the military has "officially" claimed they no longer use corporal punishment on new recruits; though I have friends who were recently in the military who said they were choked slammed by their DI's while in boot camp. The real question is: How often is spanking appropriate for the bad behavior? What type of behavior that a child is participating in deserves a hit as a way to "teach them a lesson?"

Easy going children do not test their parents to make sure they mean what they are saying and they aim to please the parents because they have a strong desire to do so. hitting a child back for this behavior is counter productive. but occasionally will do something they have been told not to do. just to see what will happen. Or hitting another child or adult. thus they will spank their children: Or they have extreme negative feelings of spanking and will never spank their children. except to alienate their child from them. What they need is strong concrete rules that have a fair and just punishment for bad behavior. Speaking respectfully and kindly to a toddler as they grow up encourages kind respectful behavior as they age. thus most parents who believe in spanking are either easy going temperaments or middle of the road temperaments. Strong willed children will test everything multiple times and have very little desire to please their parents. If the parent is doing their job as a parent. Having a watchful eye keeps children out of the road. their child would not be running into the road at the age of two. unless they work for it by doing chores and earning their own money to buy a new one. they will often test more just to see what they can get away with. A person's personality type is never out grown. or throwing glass vases around the house. breaking toys. or sticking their fingers in a light socket. however they will often become severely frustrated by their children and may lose their temper and spank out of habit. the middle of the road child. The punishment should either be natural consequences or it should fight the bad behavior. and the strong willed child. Rarely is hitting fair and just for any disorderly behavior a child might exhibit. I have yet to see a behavior that warrants being spanked. Children with an easy going temperament rarely have to be spanked even if their parents believe in spanking. So why do so many parents need to hit their children to make them "learn a lesson?" Because these parents do not have the proper parenting tools to teach their children any other way. It's not that strong willed children don't love their parents. Most behaviors have either natural consequence such as. Strong willed parents are likely to go one of two ways.The act of spanking is in part a lazy tool for parents to use. Middle of the road children is somewhat compliant. They obey parents regardless of how poor the parenting skills are. If they find that their parents are full of hot air and won't follow through on their punishment threats. . There are three types of personalities: The easy going child. means the child loses that toy and does not get another to replace it. but with a desire to please their parents and gain approval they do not test everything frequently. Childproofing when a baby is first born eliminates almost all problems that a toddler could get spanked over. yet they do test from time to time to make sure their parents mean what they say. because they do. These children do not get into trouble all the time. either they were spanked frequently but did not have negative feelings towards the spankings because their relationship with their parents was strong. Many of these types of people are dealing with strong willed children and they don't understand that spanking a strong willed child is not going to do them any good. since they were spanked occasionally and their temperaments gave their parents some space for bad parenting.

What does that teach the child about cooperation? How many wife beaters are created through this type of punishment? We need to stop the madness of corporal punishment and start use good parenting skills rather than hitting our children to dominate over them while they are small. They become immune pain and to feelings for others. Since there is no way to control this. through causing pain. Children have been burn and whipped senseless and in many other ways treated like enemies. Setting clear rules in the house such as: Pick up after yourself. but builds resentment in their child and encourages rebellion later in their teen years. The caring parent can think of many ways of punishing a child without hurting their children. Rules can be laid down and the punishments meted out as a consequences of breaking the rules Parents who really love their children will not want to cause them physical pain. he is liable to forget that what he has before him or her is a child who has committed a wrong. No fighting. They have been to many cases where adults. but with a strong willed child they will have to be done over and over and over again. what does that say about spanking. Inconsistency in the consequences will cause more bad behavior in the strong willed child. Is actually helping to create a criminal—unless he. So what the adults does to a child when he is punishing him. Natural consequences or time outs do work. physically. Most parents stop spanking their child once the child is big enough to fight back. First of all. We all know that once an adult loses his temper. Hitting does not bring a parent closer to their child. cannot be guaranteed. usually out of not understanding. Adults generally think that they should do whatever it takes to get children to behave in an acceptable way.time outs in a quiet place by themselves for a set amount of time with a discussion on why we don't hit works much better. or perhaps be grounded for fixed periods of time or stopped from playing. Emotional scars are left on children who are disciplined with pain. but the child is learning from the "easy" punishments. is intended to change their behaviour. Sometimes with a strong willed child it will seem as if they aren't learning from the "easy" punishments and some parents will want to go back to spanking. we know. claiming that they intend to “reform” their children end up abusing them. They can think of other methods of . It is a tool only used to dominate over someone who is weaker and smaller to MAKE them do something you want them to do. but they must test the consequences again and again to make sure they will always be the same. it is best that children be punished in other ways. Sticking to these rules no matter where you go or what you are doing is the key to proper discipline (discipline means teaching not punishing!) If a child doesn't pick up after themselves they can't do anything fun until their mess is clean. Should Children Be Punished With Physical Punishment Uploaded by Bw90BBaLL on Dec 31. children can be stopped from watching their favourite programmes on television. This. the adult. 2005 Should Children Be Punished With Physical Punishment It is generally believed that children are punished because adults want to teach them something. in the case of children. and not a crime. is in control and he is able to punish without overdoing it. The whole purpose of punishment. For example. adults often punish them physically—that is. No screaming at each other. In order to get the children to behave thus. and No rude talk can be posted in a place where all can see. it is a very thin line between punishment and abuse of children. No swearing. No hitting. It is my opinion that physical punishment of children is an over reaction and can never be justified. Many criminals that we read about have turned out to be those who had been abused as children.

How Should Parents Discipline Their Children? Is Corporal Punishment A Form Of Child Abuse? asked by ngureco 7 months ago flag answer this question Cathi Sutton says I believe corporal punishment can be taken to the extream and become abuse. (to paraphrase). As surely as when it rains the ground gets wet. but touch it he will. There are "coffee pots" all through a child's formative years. Children must be taught the concept of consequences. and the actions we take. But corporal punishment used in a loving way to direct the mental and emotionl growth of a wayward child toward the right direction. it is to their own peril. and beyond. how can we expect them to be good. So spat a hand before it reaches the scalding coffee pot. concerned. you can tell the child not to touch the coffee pot. productive. If they do not learn this. is absolutely not abuse. untill after he experiences the pain from the hot coffee pot. This is my opinion.punishment. If we simply let our children stumble there way through life. and to socity's. into the teenage years. and on into early adulthood. As Will Rogers said. And show the child that you love him too much to let him burn himself badly! • • • | (+6 / -2) vote 63 HOW TO DISCIPLINE THE CHILDRENS IN THEIR OWN WAY by sarovai . kind people? There are consequences to the choices we make.

he will not die.published 7 months ago Childrens . we knew the replica of parents. • • • | (+5 / -1) vote benitosuave says Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child. if you strike him with a rod. you will save his soul from Sheol [Hell]. This is because children have learnt that there are no real punishments when their behaviour extends beyond the boundaries permitted by society.. • • • | (+4) vote . Unfortunately it is now the case that children believe they can grow up disrespecting others as this is seen as the norm and they are so often not taught otherwise. so we straight away go for. Even we think they should know the adults world. As such childrens know their world.. keep reading → • • • | (+2) vote | 0 comments Miss D says Adults in today's society are more afraid of children than the other way around. 14 If you strike him with the rod. But we expect from them more than a adult. As young children we learn right from wrong.

which after all start at home and end at home. yeling. lots of friendship. and the modeling of good values and high standard principles are the key to successfully bring up children that will be the future generation of responsible adults and outstanding parents. friendship. lots of understanding. and some serious and firm talk about following society's rules. lots of attention. I believe that love. For me the keys to bringing a child into a responsible. There is also verbal abuse and putting the children down with sarcastic remarks. • • • | (+4) vote . However. I do not believe that corporal punishment is the answer to unrully children. I think that corporal punishment is one form of child abuse. and well mannered adult are lots of love.understanding.anisetta says Yes. using bad language. polite. I believe that parents have the obligation and moral responsibity to discipline their children and to ensure that they provide appropriate guidance so that their children become a valuable asset to our society. and demonstrating frustration to children when they are unable to differentiate from the parent's right to be upset and the parent's lack of patience.