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Bruce Tompson
Lesson 1

Ephesians 1:17
that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the
knowledge of him

Ephesians 4:13
until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the

measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ

It’s not about adding to your knowledge, it puffs you up and sabotages you. Regulation.

40 year old client with mentality of a 4 year old made Bruce sad and complain to God. “I need
patients that will encourage me, why did you give me a patient like this?”
“Bruce you asked to know my heart, make your heart beat like my heart. You’re struggling over one
person; I have billions of children like that. Known me for many years, but only grew up 3-4 years, I’m
that sad too. I want my children to grow up, inherit what I want them to have in life.”

“God, how can I help you?”… So God begin to lead Bruce to facilitate and care.

How to start and continue to grow

It’s easy to build up your knowledge, but hard to increase your revelation.
Knowledge information
Revelation transformation

Man in armor, seated with shield

- Can’t see well (blind)

- Seated, not ready
- Defensive (armor)
- Block pain. But it also blocks
trust and love.

Seated Lady with bow and arrow 

- ready for revenge, prevent people
from coming close
- bow and arrow: harsh words
(sarcasm, being critical, criticism)
If there were a couple made up of these two characters…. How do you think they would

- He would hear “PING”s of her arrow against his armor and try to defend himself: withdraw,
hide, protect himself. Fear of being hurt.
- Which would make her feel very frustrated, unheard: shoot more arrows. Fear of being hurt.

Fear based relationship.

The ability to face failure without being defensive is the key to maturity.
It is a risk to love. You gotta be open to these risks to build any relationship.

“Don’t get married, you cannot trust men.”  Barbara’s mother

*Barbara was affected by it in her relationship with Bruce, and even God because she was rooted in
mistrust and fear. *

Fear produces mistrust. Very often, the Fear of rejection.

Matt 22:37:39
Jesus replied: “Love the Lord Lord your God with all your soul and with all your mind.” This I the
first and the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘love your neighbor as yourself’

How you see yourself, is how you would love others. Out of the relationship you have with yourself, it
overflows into how you have relationship with others.
We don’t usually talk about having a relationship with ourselves, we talk more about crucifying
How do we crucify ourselves yet love ourselves? Old VS New self (actually original self)
There is a ‘self’ in us that God loves so much, He gave His son up for.

Building a loving relationship with myself:

What level of relationship you have with yourself? (HOMEWORK)
 what thoughts come to mind about yourself when you are alone? (What do you think of yourself?)
 what do we say to ourselves? (negative or positive self-talk?)
 what kind of feelings do you have about yourself?
 how do you treat yourself?

We can block God’s love for us, by rejecting and hating yourself.
It would be hard then to receive God’s love and acceptance.

The world-view you have influenced how you see everything, even yourself.
How do we know what we know? (Epistemology)
- Life’s experience.
- What we’re taught.
- Reading.
- Cultural environment

Bruce’s theory: When God created us, He knew we would be struggling with how we can know
truth, life, who we are.
So He put this ‘manufacturer’s manual’ in us, which many things have been trying to destroy in us.
This manual is what would help us know the truth.

Who am I? (Ontology)
The common response is “I’m a teacher/lawyer/artist.”  ‘I am what I do’
So what happens if they stop doing? They go into an identity crisis!

Who really am I, has nothing to do with what I’m doing.

When God commissioned Moses, how did Moses respond? “who am I?”  how Moses has been
leading his life.
How did God respond?
Exodus 3:14
“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM.’ This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I Am has
sent me to you.’”

Moses asked who he himself is, why did God answer about who God is?
Moses needed to know who the creator of Moses is first. In pursuing Him, Moses can find out who
Moses is.
“Pursue me, and you will find you.”
As we pursue Him, we will begin to love ourselves like God loves us.

John 14:6
Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through
“Come with me, and I will take you to the Father.”  Jesus is not the end of the journey, neither is
Holy Spirit, the end of the journey is intimacy with the Father.
1 Corinthians 15:10
“but by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. But I worked
harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God was with me.”

Where am I coming from? (Teleology)

The most important journey, is the jounrye of the heart. The issues of life is about the heart 
therefore GUARD YOUR HEART. Very important with regards to fulfilling our destiny.

What is valuable to me? (Axiology)

Out of your world-view comes your life.
We see Jesus testing the rich young scholar, Jesus looked on him and loved him gave him a test of
his life. It was a test of axiology: “go and sell everything you have and enjoy YWAM.” The test was:
do you love the blessings more or the bless-er?
The blessings took over his heart, and he turned Jesus down.
It was a test for Israel too. They were blessed, but their hearts soon pursued the blessings more than
the bless-er. They began to worship the blessings more than the Blesser Himself.

Amos 7:7-9
‘Look, I am setting a plumb line among my people Israel; I will spare them no longer.’

Through one man’s intercession, Amos changed the mind of God concerning the whole nation. The
locust did not come and consume all the crops.
God wanted to call forth fire Amos interceded again  God relented yet again.
Intercession is such a powerful ministry, our prayers reach God, and sometimes change His strategy.
V9  the doors of mercy were shut  Amos as an intercessor was hearing, not just talking, he
stopped asking God to redirect His wrath.

- Bricks out of line with plumb line

- Unstable (very prone to falling)
A picture of Israel, they can carry on with their lives,
built uneven walls, and destroy themselves when it
Could Represent:
- Nations
- Family (made in the image of God, Son and Holy
Spirit) The basic building block of the society
But what’s happening now is the messed up structure
of family: two men + child, 2 women + child etc.
- Marriage: Contract VS Covenant.
A contract breaks down so much easier.
- Church  building their own kingdom instead of
- My heart <3 (out of line, false plumb line, build my life
out of that false direction. Living my life away from
God’s plumb line.) Ask God for questions that can help
surface what’s deep inside the heart.
Plumb Line

Wherever you go, it would point towards the center of gravity (regardless of where on earth you are)
It reflects the force that is acting on everything: gravity  Scientists have A LOT of faith in this.
Force of attraction between a body and earth reflects love. Love is a great force of attraction that
God has created us for. To be attracted to him as He is attracted to us.
As we begin to build that relationship, we begin to live plumb line lifestyles. Maximum potential for

Plumb line says the absolute. What is right and what is wrong.
Old testament  Law
New testament  love (new covenant of love, plumb line that God has given to us.) and truth.

Enemy knows how important the plumb line is, so he made a

pendulum instead of a plumb line.

The line between what is right and wrong is blurred  Situational

Ethics (sometimes it’s wrong to murder, sometimes it is right,
sometimes it is right to be unfaithful, sometimes it is not acceptable.)
Jeremiah 4:19 Jeremiah weeping prophet, he wept God’s tears, felt God’s heart.

“Oh my Anguish, my anguish! I writhe in pain. Oh, the WALLS OF MY HEART! MY heart is
disquieted & throbs aloud within me, I cannot be silent! For I have heard the sound of the trumpet, the
alarm of war.”

HEART: Hebrew  Lebab Leb

Greek  Kardia

The word ‘heart’ used in Old testament:

- MIND : Thoughts of heart x 204
- WILL : Decision of heart x 195
- EMOTIONS : Feelings of the heart x 166 (important that we acknowledge it, not just ignore it
or act it out.)
- PERSONALITY : Whole person in relation to heart, how they are, how to relate to them. x 257



Jeremiah 17:9-10
The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
10 “I the LORD search the heart

and test the mind,[a]

to give every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds.

“I am searching out the hearts of my children, not to condemn, but to bring them to their inheritance
of life.”  Testing and trying our hearts to bring us closer to the plumb line of His heart.

False Prophets
Ezekiel 13:10 “Because they lead my people astray, saying ‘peace’, when there is no peace, and
because, when a flimsy wall is built, they cover it with whitewash…”
Vs 12 when the wall falls, will it not be said to you, ‘where is the coating with which you smeared it?’

When you meet a person, and you hit a wall. it’s a wall built with a pendulum and you ask “God, how
can I reach him?”

The wall is called FEAR.

The bible says “Perfect love, cast out all fear.”

God took a risk, because love is a risk. The risk was: we could turn Him down. We could continue our
relationship with Him, or we could break it off and go our own way.
Fear road blocks love

Lesson 2

Start talking to yourself, start building a relationship with yourself. How you treat yourself, how you
feel about yourself.

What do you think the person feels behind the wall?

- Alone, lonely  rejection
- Depression
- Self-hatred
- False security (wall)
- Hurt

Ezekial 13 What are some of the false prophets that tells you “let’s build a wall”
- Teachers (we’re exposed to teachers 15-20 years in our life, what influence they can have on
- Pastors
- Parents (Father telling child “you’re hopeless, you’re dumb.” A parent has tremendous
responsibility in talking to our children and growing them up.)
- Friends/peers (peer pressure can be very strong, enormous effect in our lives as we grow up)
- Media (violence, witchcraft, sexuality, vulgarities etc. leading children into corruption.)
- Government
- Music (a lot of music nowadays talk about drugs, sex, degrade women, etc. E.g. “I’m going to
sleep with the prime minister’s daughter, I’m going to murder the prime minister.” These
things can affect the development of the mind as a child grows up.)
- Satan
- Our hearts (‘our hearts are deceptive, who can know them?’ – Jeremiah)

Storms reveal the foundations of our life.

- Death/ bereavement
- Sickness
- Failures (work, school etc.)
- Broken relationships (divorce, with family, BGR etc.)
- Financial Difficulties
- Addiction of loved ones (mom is alcoholic, sister has eating disorder, father is addicted to
drugs etc.)
- War
- Pornography (makes more money than google, apple, amazon combined.)

When we are going through the heart ache and pain of these storms, they bring out something in us.

Barbara’s testimony
“I’m not wanted.”  feeling of rejection
“I’m not cut out to be a missionary.”  self-talk
Rebellion set in… feelings were hidden, smiles on face, but inside it was a mess.
Barbara: “Lord please move me, I’m in the wrong place.”
A voice: “Barbara, don’t you know I love you?”
Barbara: “Yes Lord I know.”
Voice: “Can’t you trust me?”
Revelation hit: I can trust Him with this, because He loves me!

This revelation gave her a deep peace, and comfort as she walked through the storm with Father.

If this guy cries out to you (as God), how will you help him?

- Help him overcome the problem one at a time

- Send a second flood
- Communicate with him, let him know he’s not alone
- Carry him. Even if it was his own mistakes.
- Smallest storms to dismantle his wall

What do we do if we are the guy?

We pray up a storm.
But we often don’t realize that… God works through storms.
One of the greatest storms, was the storm of the cross. The world turned against Jesus, His disciples
ran away from Him, even the Father separated from the Son for a bit.

1) A common response is to shake our fists to God “I thought you loved me.” He goes on to
clean up the mess, and goes on to build a thicker wall.
2) Another response is to give up. hide behind the wall, or even suicide.
3) Lastly, they could fall to their knees. “God, its all over. It’s all gone. There’s nothing left. The
only thing left is You.” They cast themselves on God, and God cannot resist that prayer.

Nahum 1:3
The LORD is slow to anger and great in power,
and the LORD will by no means clear the guilty.
His way is in whirlwind and storm,
and the clouds are the dust of his feet

When a storm comes, we often look for someone to judge and blame.
But let’s practice this when we encounter a storm. Let’s ask God: God where are you in this storm,
and what do you want to do with me through this storm?

Don’t waste Life’s storms.

Use every Storm as an opportunity to look to God, ‘all things work together for good’ – Romans 8:28
There are no storms, even the evil ones, that God can’t change to be used for good.

Building a wall where you were traumatized.

Deception = Bondage

Ezekiel: stony heart (a heart surrounded by walls in attempt to protect, but blocks out love) vs Heart of
Lie : “you need to build a wall to keep yourself safe.”

It is truth that will free this person up, but often it comes through a storm.
John 8:32 “then you will KNOW the truth and the truth will set you free.”
Then you will be intimate with the truth, and the truth will set you free. Relationship with the truth.

Ezekiel 18:1-2 “the word of the Lord came to me: “what do you people mean by quoting this proverb
about the land of Israel: “‘the father’s eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge?’”
They were using this proverb as an excuse to go on living the way they were.

The truth here is that the sins of the fathers visit the children and the children’s children. The crooked
Plumb line is passed on to the generations, and it becomes a cultural bondage.

Research on children in the US army whose Fathers were kept away on active service for extended
periods of time.
Infantile Reaction Social Symptom
(if it is not resolved in childhood…)
Rage (temper tantrums, but why the anger? Crime
Pain, frustration, hurt. When someone is angry,
its helpful to ask: where is this person hurting?
Or Where am I hurting her/him?)
Denial & Fantasy (denying the absence of dad Personality Disorders
by fantasying an imaginary relationship with
dad. A Father’s love deficit. )
Reunion Attempts (“when is daddy coming Possessiveness
home x10” when daddy does come home, they
stick to him like glue.)
Guilt (children struggled with guilt over absent - Delinquency Externalized (if it is let out)
dad: “he left because of me, I must have done - Depression Internalized (if it is held in. A
something wrong.” “if I were better, he would lot of depression is guilt-based. What
have wanted to be with me.” Can be hard to have we done with guilt? Bring it to the
unload this to God, because it’s a false guilt. cross? That was what Jesus did, He
Children tend to blame themselves more than carried it to the cross for us. But we try
they blame their parents.) our own ways to get rid of it.)
Fear (Fear of losing mom, losing dad. Neuroses (chronic anxiety state)
Insecurity, anxiety.)
Impulse Changes (Sudden changes e.g. babies Psychosomatic
who got out of diapers, go back to wetting
themselves. Stress begins to effect body,
symptoms start to show via physiological
Regression (so much pain, and hurt, they go into Psychotic (lives in an unreal world, hard to
a whole world of fantasy, withdraw from reality. connect with them or talk sense into them.
DIBS: in search of identity.)

Enemy’s plan is to steal love, because a love deficit causes all of that…

These can be the consequences that children can suffer from for the rest of their lives... this is the sour
grapes that children eat..  Ezekiel

ACOA (an adult child of an alcoholic): little of no love that goes through to them.
ACO -Love (an adult child of a love deficit)

Bruce & Barbara’s testimony

Son, Michael, developed asthma at 2 years old. Gasping for air, full of fear. Terror seen on his face
while parents looked through the windows at him.
When they left, they left a screaming child.
He was in the hospital for 2 weeks. He came home a different child. Clingy.
How easy, through separation, fear and anxiety can come into a child.

The demonic strategy with the Plumb line

If you were a little devil, what would you do?

- Cut the line away (no more weight, to pull it down. Now all he has to do, is blow on it, and you
will go wherever he wants you to.)
- Move it to the left, and then to the right. Turn it into a pendulum (you can’t see where it
should be settled.) If a plumb line points to truth and love, what would you use to cause it to
move to the left and right? LIES. Steal the truth, steal love, and use LIES to sway it.
Rejection comes from stealing love. The children’s love was
stolen = they felt rejected

So they think, feel and live rejection.

They live out a LIE, that they are unloved, rejected.

What if they try to reject rejection? They swing to Rebellion.

When you think of Love, what do you think of?

A: Hugs, spending time, sacrifice, gentleness, kindness, giving, acceptance.

Higher level of Love that Greeks talk about: AGAPE Love

 Love is a giving based relationship which released value in one’s being.
As someone receives this kind of love, their perception of their own value increases (Self-esteem).
when we pass this kind of love on, we help them believe that they are valuable.
When we love a child for doing nothing, we are loving a child for their being.
Not on a basis of doing: “if you do this, daddy will love you.”
This passes on to how we see God too, “the better I perform, the more God would love me.” “If I fail
to perform, my value plummets.”
The Media often use LUST to represent LOVE.
Fall in love? Nah, it’s falling in lust.

“Here’s a man that wouldn’t go to bed with her, but would die for her… she was struggling so much
with that. He had agape love for her. But she was living in a world of lust.
His agape love has given her a value and worth that she never had.” – Bruce’s theory of the movie:
Body Guard

You – Love = 0 = Anxiety (coming out of insecurity, fear) + Depression

You + Lust = 00 (depreciates us more) = frustration + addiction (search in the world of lust to have
value and worth, form of trying to comfort ourselves, but they are false comforts.)
- Strategy of the enemy, very successful.

*An addict usually has love deficits that they were trying to fill up with the addictions.

You + Love = Self Esteem + Joy (in the presence of God there is fullness of Joy) + Peace + Life

Beloved = Be + loved (loved for who you are)

Bricks in the wall of REJECTION:

 Sadness
(constantly sad, can’t break free from that, becoming dysfunctional. The weather makes you
sad etc. release to the Lord what was causing you grief, sadness in your life.)
 Self Pity
(looking for someone to come alongside to pacify them instead of rebuking them in this
habit worshiping the idea of their own suffering and hurt.)
 Self Hatred
(breaking free from this brick sometimes involve forgiving.)
 Depression
Causes of Reactive Depression: Guilt, grief, exhaustion (performance for value lie), anger
suppressed/internalized, rejection etc.
(taking guilt to the cross, and exchanging that with forgiveness. Grief that is dwelled upon
 depression. Letting go, closure, releasing and saying goodbye.)
Causes of Endogenous Depression: chemical imbalance, comes from inside. (needs medical
intervention to rebalance the chemicals).

What are some of the specific things, habits you’ve done, to ensure you can help each other heal in
these things? Ways that you sought the Lord to walk through that. - Johnny

Answer: Emotional focused therapy

SIMA: A system for identifying and motivating abilities
Johari’s window: if you have a truth to share with someone, put it in an envelope of love. It will grow
us and widen the open area.

Lesson 3

God has billions of thoughts of you, you must be very special.

Psalm 139:17-18
17How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18If I should
count them, they would outnumber the sand.

Try counting a handful of sand!

忙 (busy) = 心 +亡
busyness = heart + death

Continuation of….

Bricks in the wall of REJECTION:

- Apathy
(first stage of giving up on life, builds on failure etc.)
- Inferiority
(one of enemy’s most successful playgrounds, esp. if someone close to us say something to us,
and it highlights that you’re inferior. we put down our own performance, struggle to accept
compliments, lose confidence in ourselves. Doesn’t feel as capable as people around.)
- Insecurity
(may come out of an environment lacking love, feeling of being unwanted  failed abortion,
wrong sex for the family. Babies pick up on all the tension around them, very easy for
insecurity to set in.)
- Failure
(every time they fail, the record plays in their head “you’re a failure you’re a failure” 
labelled dumb, labelled negative names. Recognize this ‘He who has never made a mistake
has never made anything’, ‘God never sets us up to fail, only to grow’, ‘The greatest mistake is
fearing to make one.’ )

- Guilt
(Is it a liability or an asset to feel guilt? When a manufacturer makes a car, he puts a
warning system in the car: a light that flashes on and off. If the light flashes, you know
there’s something wrong. If you love your car, you would check it out and do something
about it. The warning system in us speaks to us: “you spoke harshly to your wife today”. It
leads us to repentance. But if you suppress it, it can lead to very bad outcomes.)
- Shame
(a mindset. Devaluing who you are. Guilt is related to the doing; shame is related to the
identity. Guilt “that was a failure” Shame says “you are a failure”. Guilt brings conviction,
shame brings condemnation.)
Proverbs 20:27
27The spirit of man is the lamp of the LORD, Searching all the innermost parts of his being.
Man’s spirit: the hardest to comprehend.

When God created us, He used dust, He gave us spirit, and soul is formed.
How do we keep our spirit in shape?
- Prayer
- Word
- Fellowship
This is where we find strength to live out our Christian life: our Spirit.

Suppose our spirit is a candle

The strategy of the enemy, is to hold a cup

over it, and dim the flame or even extinguish it.

What does the enemy with restrict? Oxygen: relationship with God, love.

When there is no gas in the tank, we have to push the car ourselves wherever we want to go. A lot of
stress, a lot of effort.
What do you think the gas in the tank represents in our life that keeps us going? Love.
When there is no gas in our tank, life becomes tiring, because we have to strive continuously strive to
get somewhere.

Bricks in the wall of REJECTION:

- Dimness
- Dying
- Discouraging
- Despair Quenched (suicide)
We either explode, or implode.
What happens if instead of internalizing the rejection, we act and project it out?
We swing to rebellion.
Bricks in the wall of REBELLION:

- Hostility
(Behind the anger, there is a hurt. How do we then respond
to someone else’s anger? With our anger? Do we
personalize their attacks and react to it? Or can we see the
pain behind that and act out love instead? What is needed
to get out of this? “Forgiveness is a choice.” Releasing the
person that caused pain, shame, hurt. How do we deal with
anger? Engage your emotions “Good morning anger, it’s
only 7am in the morning and you’re already here. Why are
you here?” Learn about your heart through your emotions.)
- Conceit
( conceited person devalues others through their words etc. keep others at an arm length.)
- Sophistication
(comes from word meaning false argument that is intending to deceive. Façade, false front.
Appearing to have everything together, but they are barriers to forming real relationships.)
- Elation  Deflation
(Mood swinging. Overreacting over small issues undealt issues of the heart (stress level is
high, causes huge reactions over small things.
Thinking correction = rejection  reacts through rebellion )

- Superiority
(Relates to those of lower societal status as lesser. But often, it’s a cover up of their own
inferiority. By putting someone down, they feel like they’re superior.)
- Competitive
(unhealthy competitiveness can come from parenting, early childhood programming 
being loved by parents conditionally. Parents are putting over them a goal that is unreachable,
leading them to believe they can only get love if they’re doing well. This destroys the child’s
self-worth and value. Appreciation, affirmation and encouragement when children are doing
nothing, is a wonderful antidote to unhealthy competitive.
1 Peter 2:9
‘You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood.’
Deut 7:6
‘treasured possession. Priceless possession of God’

We are chosen, we are treasured.

- Dominant
(from feeling of insecurity, so they dominate the situation. Form of defense. Many women
have this problem of being dominant in relationship, and it comes out of the feeling of not
being loved, instead, are being lusted after. Therefore, they try to dominate the relationship.)
- Rigid
(need to have structure to feel secure. Any thought of change can cause a reaction.)

- Manipulative
(Try somehow to get the love manipulate. Through food, through body, etc. to get love, yet
ironically get further and further away from love. Manipulation leads to control  breaks
down deeper elements of the relationship.
Active Wins by winning. Plays the role of the perfect, strong one, has it all together.
Passive wins by losing e.g. tears etc.
Competitive  interchange between active and passive
Indifferent wins by with-drawing. Gives up on manipulating others, but ends up
manipulating themselves. Pretend they don’t need help, don’t need any dependence. But
what we need to learn is moving from co-dependency >> to interdependency.
To help, we need to be aware where manipulation is going on, and what type.)
- Stubborn
(having to be right, not allowing yourself to be wrong. Too much value and worth on being
right. FALSE belief: if I’m wrong I lose value. Many marriages break down because of this,
because couples don’t want to admit being wrong, to them, to be wrong is to lose value.
How do we counter this? Perhaps communicate love, value to each other in the face of
mistakes and failures?)
- Unteachable
(“yea it’s a great school, but I learnt it all before.” Hard to acknowledge that they didn’t know
something  too much value in knowledge. But in God’s eyes, no knowledge can increase
our value. How sly the enemy is, to use something so good, like knowledge of God, to stumble
us. ‘what can separate us from the love of God’, no lack of knowledge can stop God from
loving us.)
- Delusion
(go on living the lie until we believe the lie is a truth. We think that lie, we speak that lie, we
feel that lie, we live the lie.
- Resentment
(any disappointment undealt with can lead to disappointment. We don’t often realize, but
when we’re hurt by someone, we can either choose to forgive, or if we don’t, we become
- Bitterness
(‘see that no root of bitterness spring up from you, that you are defiled and others around
you are defiled.’ Or ‘poisonous roots’ Hebrews 12:15 it can distort, warp and destroy the
person. It starts from root, and it spreads and consumes you. Forgiveness is not an emotion; it
is a choice. It is the very first step of freeing yourself, even being able to verbalize it “I choose
to forgive.” )
- Criticalness
(damaging criticism where we point our fingers on someone and say “you are the problem”
instead of looking at the problem.)
- Controlling
(attempt to keep the upper hand.)
- Possessive
(possessing the life of another person. To make sure someone else does what you want, in
the process asphyxiating the person until they cannot breathe. Common examples are
parents trying to live their dreams through their children.

Identify the bricks in your life E.g inferiority

1) How does the brick affect my relationship with God.
2) How does the brick affect my relationship with others.
3) How does the brick affect my relationship with myself.

Who am I, what have I become through the strategy of the enemy this is not to condemn yourself,
but to know what God wants to do in you, be aware of where you are now.

Compliant Personality
Views love as a contract. Puts you in God’s place because
this person has not connected at the heart level with God, so
they are searching for the love that only God can fully
A human cannot do what only God can do.
“I’ll treat you nice if you would love me.”
“I will do whatever you want, as long as you love me.”

- Needs to be needed
- Create needs
- Gives for return
- Wears out for others (lose themselves in trying to be what others want them
to be. They don’t know who they are themselves anymore.)
- Burns out
- Psychosomatic Problems (too much stress inside. All the test results are
normal, because it is in the heart.)

1 Samuel 15:24 ‘…because I feared the people and obeyed their voice’
It was more important to please others than to please God.

A redeemed ‘Compliant personality’  gifting of Pastoral/helper

- They learn unconditional love when they realize they don’t need to work for their love
- Affectionate and warm
- Thoughtful and kind
- Caring and grateful
- Serving

‘Can’t-Do-It’ Personality

Mentality: giving up
“I am what I am, I cannot change.”
“nobody loves me”
[Surrounds themselves in armor and does not reach out because
they don’t believe anyone will accept and love them.]

Dwells and drowns in their own puddle of tears from pity-party.

- Self-absorbed, moody/melancholic (life is grey, negative perspective.)

- Depression, self-pity
- Self-contempt, self hatred  because they feel they are unlovable and no one
will love them
- Shame
- Escapism >> numb the pain with addictions e.g. drugs or alcohol

Moses being a shepherd after he ran from Egypt. When God commissioned him, he said “I can’t.”
Full of unbelief, full of rejection.

Judges 6 When the angel of God approached Gideon, he too said “I can’t”

But when these personalities get redeemed…

A redeemed ‘Can’t-Do-It Personality’  Teacher/Artistic

- Self-aware, intuitive
- Sensitive, gentle, compassionate
- Creative, artistic, romantic (lover of beauty, very contrasted with the image of an armored
person fencing himself in.)
Lesson 4

Romans 7:21-24  a battle that we have, the rejection can bring us to the suicide.
Love is the essence of our life.



The usual words that we can hear from them are:
 I am perfect
 You must love me (you do not have any option except love
me) do not accept the mistake from others, do not help but
blame others. No one is perfect on earth. This kind of person
the love that he/she expect is taken away, this love is a
forced love.

Areas that need to be redeem:

 Hyperactive, unable to say no to others.
 Constant activity, joker
 Self-centered (has to keep on proving he/she is someone), demanding (demanding on self
and others.)
 Oral focus (in a conversation, this person has a difficult time listening, a great gift in talking;
talk over you, present what they know as what is right), abusive (abuse themselves because
they need to perform), compulsive (In a team, everyone has to stop what they’re doing to do
what this person wants to do immediately).
This is how these people are programmed: “you’re love on the basis of your performance” 
that is why they constantly want to perform, do the best.

Jacob has this personality when he was being born, he grabbed his brother’s heel. Even then he was
competitive. Growing up, he was his mother’s favorite, but Esau was his father’s favorite.
Jacob traded a bowl of soup for Esau’s birth right.
Jacob, after being blessed, ran away to his uncle, who was very much a trickster like Jacob.
Serving a total of 14 years for his wife he decided to return to his hometown.
In fear, he prayed and God sent an angel.
He fought with the angel overnight! Why??
He was desperate for a blessing: a change of personality

Just like Jacob, we too need to wrestle for change.

When the storm comes, that’s where we go in, press in and ask God “Lord, I want change.” Wrestling
for your inheritance.

A redeemed ‘Competitive Personality’  gifting of Performer/ Evangelist

- Responsive/ enthusiastic
- Productive, spontaneous
- Achiever, practical

Critical Personality
Belief system: unworthy, unlovable but… “you are unlovable too.”
“Those who fail are unworthy of love.”
Psalm 64:3-4  a depiction of the Critical Personality

- Uses a lot of condemning statement: “you’re always wrong.” “you’re

a failure.” “you can’t get anything right.”
- Legalistic, Indecisive
- Fearful, Contradictory: “it’s a nice day today” “NO. Look at the
- Insecure, aggressive, defensive: Always looking for something to
- Unpredictable: Not sure how they will react.
- Judgmental

Numbers 12:8
Mariam and Aaron being jealous of Moses. The Lord “why were you not afraid to criticize my servant
John 12
Jesus in the house of Lazarus, Mary anointing the feet of Jesus which triggered Judas. “What a waste!
She should have sold the perfume and give it to the poor!” all these while, he was stealing from the

A redeemed ‘Critical Personality’  gifting of Reformer (want to see things change)/Prophet

- Endearing, lovable (instead of rolling up like a hedgehog, they now want to bond, want to
- Desire trust and bonding
- Conscientious and committed
- Loyal and principled

What personality traits/profile did we develop to compensate for the love deficit we’ve experienced
throughout our lives?
Identify: Isaiah 51
- Primary personality (the root personality, the one we need to pray for revelation about. Unless we
get to the root of our profile, we really don’t change. Not just changing our thinking, but our hearts
need to change.)
- Secondary Personality

Ask the Lord: Who am I? how did I try to make up for my love deficit? How has it effected my
Isaiah 51:1
look to the rock from which you were hewn,
and to the quarry from which you were dug

Lust Trap
Ezekiel 8:7-9 “find the wall, look behind the walls behind the heart.”
Behind the walls of rejection and rebellion.

The Swings Inside Our Wall

1 John 2:15-17
 ‘anyone loves the world, the love of the
Father is not in him’ (love of money etc.
blessings become the idol.)
 ‘desires of the flesh and the desires of
the eyes’ (Lust)

Swing from PAIN to PLEASURE and back to PAIN

When we experience Pain, sometimes we try to escape Pain by running to Pleasure: false comfort.
But when we’re in Pleasure, it consumes us.
Pleasure: being under the control of pleasure results in a different type of pain.

What types of pleasure? MANY:

- Alcohol
- Porn
- Sex
- Food
Even ‘ok’ things….
- Shopping
- Work
- Exercise
These sabotages the love of our Father

Pride Trap
The Swings Inside Our Wall

1 John 2:16
 ‘pride of life’ (Driven by inferiority to
prove superiority.)

Swinging from the pain of INFERIORITY to wanting to be SUPERIOR

They never dealt with the issues of the heart, superiority is not a solution to inferiority, it is a cover up.

Trying to earn a name for yourself does not solve the heart issue of how you see yourself.

In our emotions we flee pain by swinging from PAIN to PLEASURE

The issues we face is the hook of pleasure: LUST, FEAR
In our mind we fight pain by swinging from INFERIORITY to SUPERIORITY
The issue we face is: PRIDE and ANGER from failure to be superior
In our Will We swing around so much, we lose ourselves leading to BREAKDOWNS
The issue resulting from that: SCHIZOID STATE (two mindsets)
James 1:7-8
“That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord, he is a double-minded man,
UNSTABLE in all his ways”

LUST & PRIDE (Reflection)

- Share about your pain and how you have handled it
- Share about any pride traps you have fallen into.

Review (some questions you began to look at and review)

Write your life story including:
- Rejection
- Bricks
- Personality
- Lust
- Pride
This is one step of awareness, to see God’s work in us. The more I understand the more free I become,
because I start to see what I need God to help me with.

Does Lust come from only pain? – Joanni

Answer: Usually yes. Or it could come from modelling: following the authority figure. “I will never be
like my father.” But when we don’t forgive an authority figure for how they have treated us, we are
tied and attached to them in the dynamics, we can sometimes start to unconsciously live like them.

How does God work in us?

The Minor Prophets

722 BC – Kingdom of Israel into Exile

586 BC – Kingdom of Judah into Exile
(walls of Jerusalem came down.)
For 50 Years – Crying out to God in Captivity
(after 70 years of slavery)
400 BC – The return from Exile

Ezra + Nehemiah facilitated the return from


Ezra 3 (book of reconciliation)

When they returned, they found the land turned into dust.
Wanted to build an altar as protection, and worship the Lord. It was a place of:
- Blood: from sacrifices
- Healing
- Forgiveness
- Repentance
- Place to begin to worship the Lord

Now, Jesus has already paid the price for all our sins, we no longer need a place to worship, to repent,
to ask for forgiveness.

Ezra 3:6
Went on to build the temple. It was to be a place of:
- The presence of God
- To hear Him
- Communion with God
- Joy, dancing, fellowship
- Thanksgiving

Now, we have access to His presence because of Jesus. The temple, is now in our hearts. If we do not
cultivate this habit of dwelling in the presence of God, we allow other things to distract us.

This is the beginning of reconciliation with God, via the Altar and the Temple.
Lesson 5

Ezra 3:6 “On the first day of the seventh month they began to offer burnt offerings to the Lord,
though the foundations of the Lord was not yet laid.”

Isaiah 28:16-17
Behold, I am the one who has laid[a] as a foundation in Zion,
a stone, a tested stone,
a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation:
‘Whoever believes will not be in haste.’
17 And I will make justice the line,

and righteousness the plumb line;

and hail will sweep away the refuge of lies,
and waters will overwhelm the shelter.”

What is the refuge of the lie?  The walls we hide behind; the bricks we use to build the wall.

Isaiah 60:18 introduces us to a NEW wall! The WALL OF SALVATION!  One that is built in line
with the plumb line!

Book of Ezra (reconciliation) + Book of Nehemiah (restoration) = Redemption from the wall of Lies

Altar + Temple = restoration/repentance/reconciliation etc.  from Old Covenant (old testament)

Jesus became the sacrifice at the altar, for our sins, once and for all. The veil was torn into two, and
the way into God’s presence was made open to us.

Jesus Christ = restoration/repentance/reconciliation etc.  New Covenant (New Testament)

The Great Commission – The Great Commandment (relationship isn’t there) = the great BURN OUT


Name of Nehemiah = Counsellor

Nehemiah 1:4-5
“When I heard these things I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed
before the God of heaven. Then I said: ‘O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who
keeps his covenant of Love with those who love Him and obey His commands….’”
“ Did you really love us?” “Aren’t you faithful?” “Aren’t we your chosen people? Why have you
deserted us?” “Why have you allowed Your people to be captured and forced into slavery?”


“God you’re awesome!” “You keep Your covenant of love!”

When we take ourselves from His covering, we
remove ourselves from His covenant and away from
His protection and blessings.

The first ROD of foundation in building a NEW WALL according to His Plumb Line:

1) Self Revelation (began to know and understand myself: how I have developed to where I
am now.)
Psalms 139:23,24 “Search me thoroughly O God and know my heart.”  David after He
committed murder and adultery, we never stop guarding our heart.
Koinonia (Fellowship) Kinetics (Luke 24)
‘But their eyes were kept from recognizing him.’
When we face difficulties and it blinds us, Jesus’s role is to open our eyes.
Fellowship with others in the light, to expand the OPEN area (Johari Window).

2) God Revelation (distorted images of God by the father of lies, faith is when I trust the
Father of truth.)
Help us understand what is the lie, and what is the truth. (John 8:44)
Looking through Mom and Dad at who God is. The father of lies can distort the truth, for the mom
and dad  child looks at Father God with a warped perspective too.
Conflict between my thought & feelings
- With my mind I see what I think
- With my heart I see what I feel
What I’m feeling, is my experiences during my upbringing. How I was programmed, conditioned
as I grew.
What I’m thinking is what I was taught, the knowledge I obtained.

God’s Distortion

Demanding (if you want to be love, you got to perform)  becomes cautious of Faults. (I can’t
keep up; I can’t fail)
Distant (Earthly father never verbalized love, so Father God is very distant too) Feels Unloved.
Destructive ( explodes)  becomes Fearful
Deceiving (experiences parents as liars)  Causes Mistrust
Deserting (divorce, sickness, child feels abandonment|)  Abandonment (causes fear that God
would abandon us too)
Psalms 139 (God wants to give us a revelation about Him and His character)

- Potent (All powerful, yet He made us people, so He gave us the ability to turn our backs on
- Present (All over. There is no where that He isn’t present)
- Scient (All knowing. His heart breaks for what breaks ours. “I want Justice!” “What is justice?
The wages of sin is death. But what is Mercy?”)
Personal (All loving. Luke 12:7, Matt 10:30 “He numbers the hair on your head.” Why does He
number our hair? Because He loves us so much! He knows more details about me, than I do.
E.g Flying hamster. What Is your hamster?)

Summary: Revelation of Who I am + Who God is


Emotions Leading
Spirit – Mind – Emotions >>
Person chooses to empower their emotions. Putting so much weight on their emotions, letting it take
control, yet our emotions are often deceiving.

E.g. Sadness leading>> Grief >> Depression >> Despair >> Suicide
Anger leading >> Resentment >> Bitterness >> Violence >> Murder

Mind Leading
Spirit – Emotions – Mind >>

Empowering our reason. Struggle with rationalism.

NAW – KHAM (Repentance : groaning, labor) turning life around, giving it to new authority.
Taking away authority from our emotions/mind and handing it to the Spirit + Holy Spirit.

METAONIA : Change of mind. Disempowering the mind and reason, to spirit.

Holy Spirit Leading

Emotions – Mind – Spirit + Holy Spirit >>

Choosing to let the Holy Spirit leading. Giving the control to our spirit that is aligned with the Holy
For repentance for to be life-changing, we need to embrace NAW-KHM and METAONIA.

By believing the lies that Satan tells us, we are going deeper into the sin of UNBELIEF in God.

When we see something we like, we want, we bid and pay for it. $$$
What about yourself? How much are you worth in the market?

E.g. In Africa a beautiful wife is worth 6 cows. That is costly, and that’s the cost of her in that society.
What’s our value? PRICELESS.

“How much is Fiona?”

“You give me Jesus and I’ll give you Fiona.”
Though Jesus was God’s only son, and it cost Him dearly, God loved Fiona so much, He said “ok. I’ll
give you Jesus.”

You are precious, priceless and greatly loved by God our Father.

How do we react to this? Embarrassed? Confusion? Discomfort?

What does your reaction show about your beliefs?

Israel’s 12 Spies into Cannan  two different reports

1) “Giants are too much; we are grasshoppers”
2) “God is able, we can attain this land!”

By believing the lies, and trying to defend/cover up yourself from the rejection, we go deeper in

‘God resists pride, but gives grace to the humble.’

As you let go of pride through repentance, into humility, you get closer to God.

God Reacts to PRIDE  Resist

Others React to PRIDE  Separate
I React to PRIDE  Divides me.
(become two person, one of which is who I present myself as in wanting to gain acknowledgment, and
the other part of myself that I try to hide because of self-perceived inferiority.)


Compliant and Can’t-do-it  UNBELIEF BASED

Competitive and Critical  PRIDE BASED

How do we get rid of these Cardinal Sins!!??

We began to experience His grace, ALLOW Him to do His work in us.