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JULY 6, 2018
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2 Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018
Page 3

Cloud theft? Who knew?

● Wow, those Israelis are smart. Un- “The changing climate in Iran is sus- The head of Iran’s meteorological ser- does not apply only to Iran,” Vazife said.
scrupulous, but smart. pect,” Jalali told a press conference, vice did not endorse Jalali’s claim. He Rather than claiming credit for the
At least according to Brigadier Iran’s semi-official ISNA news agency “probably has documents of which I am problem, Israel’s Prime Minister Benja-
General Gholam Reza Jalali, head of reported. “On top of that, we are fac- not aware, but on the basis of meteoro- min Netanyahu offered to help fix it. He
Iran’s Civil Defense Organization, who ing the issue of cloud and snow theft,” logical knowledge, it is not possible for told the Iranians that Israel faced similar
accused Israel of manipulating the he added, citing a survey showing that a country to steal snow or clouds,” said water issues and found ways of dealing
weather — specifically, cloud theft — to above 2,200 meters, all mountainous the head of Iran’s meteorological ser- with them, adding that Israeli technol-
ensure that rain would not fall over Iran. areas between Afghanistan and the vice Ahad Vazife, quoted by ISNA. ogy can help the Iranians.
The Islamic Republic is suffering from Mediterranean are covered in snow — “Iran has suffered a prolonged General Jalali shows no signs of tak-
drought. except in Iran. drought, and this is a global trend that ing up Netanyahu’s offer.

Rare coin discovered in Jerusalem

● Remember coins? tion ancient Hebrew
Remember how lettering reading “For
much space they the Redemption of
took up, and how Zion” and an image of a
you never could chalice.
find them when Its other side depicts
you needed them? the “Four Species” used
And then there’d during Sukkot holiday—
be a mint’s worth in the citron fruit, palm
between the sofa frond, and myrtle and
cushions? willow branches—and
Apparently, some- the words “Year Four,”
one dropped a coin referring to the final
down a sewer in Jerusalem’s City of David. year of rebellion against the Romans.
We’re not exactly sure when, but we do The coin was found exactly in the same
Off the dead beat know that the coin, which is rare, was mint-
ed 1,949 years ago. It was discovered during
place that Jews had been hiding in the
drainage channel under the street,” Vilf
● New York Times obituary was the writer behind the an archeological dig last week. said. Evidence of the rebels’ attempt to
writer Margalit Fox — who is iconic advertising campaign Reut Vilf of the City of David Founda- hide under the city includes intact oil lamps
Jewish, and who just pub- that sold Levy’s rye bread to tion said the coin, discovered in the sewage and whole ceramic pots that were found in
lished a mystery about Sher- hungry consumers outside system running beneath ancient Jerusalem, the sewer.
lock Holmes’s creator, “Conan the Jewish world. dates back to the year 69 C.E., the fourth What does she think the coin’s inscription
Doyle for the Defense,” in The best-known campaign year of the Jewish revolt against Rome — means? “Freedom is an immediate thing,
which the burly, mustachioed featured a diverse group, and the year in which the rebels despaired. while redemption is a process,” she said. “It
physician-turned-hugely- including an African-Amer- According to Israeli media reports, a could attest to their understanding that the
famous-and-successful writer ican boy, Asian- and Native cache of bronze coins from that time was end was near.”
solves a mystery to exoner- American men, and a choir- found in 2014 in a village near Jerusalem Eli Shukron, an archaeologist with the
ate a falsely imprisoned Jew boy. They all told everyone, in and more were unearthed in a cave by the Israel Antiquities Authority, said that the
(that’s not a spoiler; you can magazine ads, in newspaper Temple Mount in 2018, from the second and coin easily could have fallen into the drain-
find all that in promotional ads, in huge subway post- fourth years of the rebellion. age system through cracks of the stone-
material) — announced that ers, that “You don’t have to The coin found last week bears an inscrip- paved road.
she was leaving that job. be Jewish to love Levy’s real
She’s written final stories Jewish Rye.”
about to more than 1,400 “Though its evocative tag- CONTENTS Candlelighting: Friday, July 6, 8:13 p.m.
notable, notorious, or down- line is often credited to Wil-
right unusual people over her liam Bernbach, a founder of
NOSHES ...............................................................4 Shabbat ends: Saturday, July 7, 9:20 p.m.
BRIEFLY LOCAL ..............................................10
14 years on the dead beat. DDB, or to Phyllis Robinson, COVER STORY .................................................14 PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT: (USPS 275-700 ISN 0021-6747) is published weekly on Fridays
Ms. Fox’s written about the agency’s chief copy- JEWISH WORLD ............................................. 18 with an additional edition every October, by the New Jersey Jewish Media Group, 1086
Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666. Periodicals postage paid at Hackensack, NJ and addi-
many prominent Jews, and writer, period newspaper OPINION ...........................................................20 tional offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to New Jersey Jewish Media Group,
other Jews who perhaps accounts and contemporary DEAR RABBI ................................................... 26 1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666. Subscription price is $30.00 per year. Out-of-state
subscriptions are $45.00, Foreign countries subscriptions are $75.00.
were less well known than archival sources make clear D’VAR TORAH ................................................ 27
that the actual writing fell to THE FRAZZLED HOUSEWIFE ................... 28 The appearance of an advertisement in The Jewish Standard does not constitute a kashrut
they should have been, given endorsement. The publishing of a paid political advertisement does not constitute an
CROSSWORD PUZZLE ................................ 28
their accomplishments. One Ms. Protas, who, working qui- ART AND CULTURE ...................................... 29
endorsement of any candidate political party or political position by the newspaper or
any employees.
of them was Judy Protas, etly and out of the limelight, CALENDAR ......................................................30 The Jewish Standard assumes no responsibility to return unsolicited editorial or graphic
an advertising executive at set down those dozen du- OBITUARIES .................................................... 33 materials. All rights in letters and unsolicited editorial, and graphic material will be
treated as unconditionally assigned for publication and copyright purposes and subject to
Doyle Dane Bernbach, who rable words,” Ms. Fox wrote. CLASSIFIEDS ..................................................34 JEWISH STANDARD’s unrestricted right to edit and to comment editorially. Nothing may be
REAL ESTATE.................................................. 37 reprinted in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. © 2018

JULY 6, 2017 3
3, 2018
‘Why, why, why, why would you call camp to tell
them that I’m not wearing glasses? The yoetzet
pulled me out of sha’at menuchah so that she could take a
picture of me to show you that I’m wearing my glasses.’
- Universal, meet specific. Writing in Kveller, Rachel Mann quotes from her 11-year-old
daughter’s letter home. (Translation — a counselor pulled her from her rest period.)


Paul Rudd back

as Ant-Man
“Ant-Man and the years. Veteran readers
Wasp” features of this column may re-
Marvel heroes with member a few of them.
the incredible ability to Rudd’s breakthrough
shrink. PAUL RUDD, 49, role came in the 1995
Paul Rudd Michael Douglas
who starred in the hit megahit “Clueless.” He
2015 film “Ant-Man,” played ALICIA SILVER-
reprises that title role in STONE’s charming step-
this film. Evangeline Lily, brother, who, by movie’s
who had a co-starring end, morphs into her
role as the Wasp in the boyfriend. Many have
2015 film, returns for the said that Rudd doesn’t
sequel. The plot has seem to have aged since
Ant-Man (AKA Scott “Clueless.” That’s not Anthony Bourdain
Lang) torn between his true, but he does look
new role as a husband remarkably youthful.
and father and the call of I first knew Rudd was
duty when the Wasp a mensch when a friend, Let’s Eat
says she really, really who then wrote for an
needs his help. (Opens Orthodox blog, hap- Alicia Silverstone Rachel Weisz ● ANTHONY BOURDAIN, hands down, was the best
wide on July 6.) pened on Rudd and host of a travel and cooking show. (Bourdain was the
MICHAEL DOUGLAS, RACHEL WEISZ, now “formative years,” from “Forgetting Sarah Mar- always-secular son of a Jewish mother and a non-Jewish
73, also reprises his role 48, sitting at a New 10 to 20, in a Kansas City shall” in 2008, and “I father). However, PHIL ROSENTHAL’s Netflix series,
as Hank Pym, an ento- York sidewalk café. suburb called Lenaxa. Love You Man” in 2008.
mologist who was the They were in New York “Somebody Feed Phil,” is at least in the same league as
He told Sunday Morn- He found time to
original Ant-Man back in promoting their 2003 ing, “I learned early on court JULIE YAEGAR, Bourdain’s shows. It is a witty and interesting look at
the ‘60s. He passed the movie, “The Shape that being funny helped 48, a publicist whose the cultures and food of the worldwide places Rosenthal
baton, as it were, to Scott of Things.” My friend me [fit in]…certainly in mother is Jewish. They visits. The show’s complete second season starts stream-
Lang. Parental note: asked Weisz about be- Kansas being Jewish was were married by a rabbi ing on July 6. Rosenthal, 58, was the co-creator of the
The “Ant-Man” films are ing Jewish and she was an anomaly and I always in 2003 and have two megahit “Everybody Loves Raymond.” He has been mar-
lighter and more family standoffish. But Rudd felt a little on the periph- children, JACK, 12, and ried since 1990 to MONICA HORAN, 55, who played
friendly than most Mar- plunged in and said, ery.” Still, his home life DARBY, 8.
vel pics. “Jewish. I love to talk Amy, the wife of Raymond’s policeman brother, in
was very happy and Paul Go on line and watch
CBS “Sunday Morn- about Jewish.” had a big bar mitzvah in the Sunday Morning “Raymond.” (Raymond’s brother was played by BRAD
ing” recently proclaimed Rudd’s parents were Ontario, Canada, where a profile, first aired on June GARRETT, now 58.)
Rudd a “star” and I born and raised in Eng- lot of relatives lived. 17, called “Paul Rudd, the –N.B.
agree he has turned land, the descendants of Rudd worked as a tiny super-hero with a
into one over the course Eastern European Jews. bar mitzvah DJ in Los big heart.” (Google the
of 20 years. Of course, His late father’s airline Angeles as he looked title). The profile covers
I’ve written about him job meant that Paul and for his first good parts. Rudd’s comedy hits and founded the benefit and he visits in the hospital.
before, but his newly his sister, MANDY, were He first made his mark his surprising recent suc- his sister helps run it. (His Before “Ant-Man,” they
crowned star status, I frequently uprooted. Paul in comedy hits. A partial cess as an action hero. It mother and sister, who were polite but really
believe, means that he was born in Passaic, lived list: “Clueless,” a recur- also focuses on “The Big still live in the K.C. area, don’t know who he was.
deserves a recap of his there till he was 5. The ring big role on TV’s Slick,” an annual week- are interviewed briefly.) Now they are thrilled to
career and the Jewish family moved a few more “Friends,” “The 40-Year- end of fund raising to Rudd talks about how his have “Ant-Man” vis-
nuggets I’ve gathered times, and then Paul Old Virgin” in 2004, benefit Mercy Hospital action role has brought it them.
about him over the spent what he calls his “Knocked Up” in 2007, in Kansas City. Rudd co- him closer to the kids –N.B.

Want to read more noshes? Visit California-based Nate Bloom can be reached at








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‘The synagogue is dead.
Long live the synagogue.’
Locally and across the country, synagogues change
but rumors of death have been greatly exaggerated
Ben Sales and does track onto organizational matu-
Joanne Palmer rity and the next stage of growth,”

Rabbi Kaunfer, who wrote the book
or 10 years, Rabbi Dan Ain has “Empowered Judaism: What Inde-
tried to take Judaism out of pendent Minyanim Can Teach Us
the synagogue. about Building Vibrant Jewish Com-
He’s convened Friday night munities,” said. “Having a building or
prayers in auditoriums with musicians like a permanent space is not an ideologi-
Matisyahu and Lisa Loeb. He’s held Rosh cal step. It’s a practical step.”
Hashanah services in a bowling alley/con- Earlier this year, Hadar created a
cert venue. He scheduled an interview ear- Lisa Harris Glass Dan Ain Sharon Brous Elie Kaunfer formal nonprofit board and member-
lier this month at an artisanal coffee shop ship structure based on either annual
in Brooklyn and showed up in a T-shirt and began about 15 years ago, when some Jew- “We’re really a question-driven and dues or a certain amount of volunteering.
backward baseball cap, his long hair spill- ish groups that thought the synagogue idea-driven community. The building is It has been meeting weekly in the same
ing out of the sides above his long salt-and- was not responding to their spiritual and just driving us to ask these questions with space, the Solomon Schechter School of
pepper beard. ritual needs began forming. The groups greater urgency.” Manhattan on West 100th Street, since
Rabbi Ain was ordained, he said, each were different, but they shared a few When Ikar was founded in 2004, it held 2011. Although most of the people who
because he felt like the synagogue model themes: They did not have a permanent events and services in cafes, bars, and came to services and helped run it were
was old and tired. Just this month, he physical space; they did not affiliate with private homes; it focused on drawing in recent college graduates, now Hadar is
compared the typical American Satur- a Jewish denomination; and they did not unaffiliated Jews. Ikar remains unaffili- creating more structured children’s pro-
day morning prayer service to “a Civil charge annual membership dues. While ated but is now constructing its own build- gramming. That includes paid babysitting
War reenactment. some were founded by rabbis, others ing. Rabbi Brous is also leading the com- every week, a regular children’s service,
“They’re dressed in the right clothing, were proudly lay led. Many, though not munity’s second annual mission to Israel and early dinner for kids when the com-
they’re saying the same words that were all, were created by alumni of Conserva- — a staple of traditional synagogues. Ikar munity meets on Friday nights.
said in 1863 in exactly the right ways,” tive institutions. employs a large staff for its services, pro- But the new board president, Emily
he said. “But there’s no stakes involved, Some, like Rabbi Ain’s Brooklyn orga- grams, and preschool. Scharfman, notes that the group still does
there’s no danger in their hearts. And for nization, Because Jewish, which was It also has joined with six other inde- not have clergy or paid staff of any kind.
a lot of people services can feel like that.” founded in 2015, were successful. pendent communities (including one “Kehilat Hadar is deeply interested in
Which is why it may be surprising that Among the most well-known of them, Renewal Judaism congregation) to form feeling like a permanent davening com-
this week, Dan Ain will become the pulpit Manhattan’s Kehilat Hadar, one of the first the Jewish Emergent Network. The net- munity,” she said, using a Yiddish word
rabbi of a Conservative synagogue in San independent minyanim, is in its 18th year, work — which includes Romemu and Lab for prayer. “I think that’s fundamentally
Francisco that was founded nearly a cen- and its founders are among the thought Shul in Manhattan, and congregations and deeply important to all of us here. I
tury ago. leaders of a wave of traditionally commit- from Seattle to Chicago to Washington, don’t think wanting some kind of perma-
To Rabbi Ain, it’s not a contradiction. ted egalitarian Jews. Ikar, a Los Angeles D.C. — is not a traditional movement like nency and routine is the same as the old-
He is proud of the independent Jewish community, is 14 years old. Its rabbi, Sha- Conservative, Reform, or Orthodox Juda- fashioned synagogue model.”
programs he built in Brooklyn and down- ron Brous, gave an invocation at President ism, Brous says. Its member congrega- Back in northern New Jersey, where there
town Manhattan. But as he’s had kids and Barack Obama’s second inauguration. tions differ in ideology, but collaborate have not been many examples of the kind
watched the world change since 2016, he But those once-scrappy initiatives are on fundraising and resources. And Ikar in of synagogue-less minyanim that Rabbi Ain,
says that he recognizes the need for stabil- adopting traditional trappings. Ikar has particular, she says, is still defined by the Rabbi Brous, and their peers have created,
ity, a reliable community, and, yes, physi- a building, like other large Jewish houses ideas and priorities that animate it, not by but where many people have ventured
cal permanence. of worship. Hadar just instituted mem- where it meets. across the George Washington Bridge to
An organization that holds Shabbat ser- bership and a board. Rabbi Ain has left “What we learned early on is that a lot of sample Hadar, Romemu, and LabShuls,
vices with the lead singer of Guster may his organization for a pulpit. The lead- the successes and best practices of how to Lisa Harris Glass, the Federation of North-
create a moving musical experience. But ers of these communities say the move engage people in Jewish life were inacces- ern New Jersey’s chief planning officer, lis-
Rabbi Ain knows that you can’t count on it toward institutionalism isn’t a betrayal of sible or missing,” Rabbi Brous said. “Peo- tened to the story with complete aplomb.
if you have to say Kaddish. their founding principles, just a necessary ple are even more desperate to find a way “I wasn’t at all surprised,” she said.
“I was always in the back of my mind response to what their organizations or for their Jewish tradition and faith com- “I would go so far as to tell you that I
desiring of a community in which I could they themselves need. munity to help them make sense of what expected it.”
have a shiva minyan for people,” he said. In other words, the synagogue is dead. it means to be an American, to be a Jew.” Why? “Because I don’t think that the
“The ability to do stuff over a long period Long live the synagogue. One of the founders of Hadar, Rabbi Elie synagogue model is broken. I think that
of time is something I haven’t had the “When we started, it was a scrappy Kaunfer, says that it makes sense that older we fail to work the model.”
opportunity to do because everything I’ve startup, and I can no longer describe it independent communities look for per- What does she mean?
been doing goes up and comes down.” that way,” Rabbi Brous, who was ordained manence as they expand. In many cases, First, she said, when we look at the
Rabbi Ain is one of several pioneers of at the Conservative Jewish Theological he says, young prayer groups don’t have state of synagogues today and analyze
independent Jewish communities who Seminary, said of Ikar. “People ask me, a building not for ideological reasons, but it, “we should insert the Chabad factor
have, in one way or another, inched back in with a building, aren’t you going to be a simply because they cannot afford one. as well.” Chabad often does very well;
the synagogue model they once rejected. regular synagogue? And I’m not worried “Having a building is about the bene- their synagogues, built on a very differ-
The informal model he represents about it at all. fits of having a space you control, which ent model than the standard suburban

6 Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018


one, flourish in the suburbs. To do so, Center in Orangeburg, N.Y. those places.” shutting down comes from Makom, an off-
they attract some formerly unaffiliated The problem, she suggested, is There is some irony in alternative min- shoot of a Dallas Conservative synagogue,
Jews, but they also appeal to Jews who “because, I think, there are many yanim needing more traditional space, Congregation Shearith Israel. Makom once
had been paying dues elsewhere. instances where we have professionalized because in a way it is so predictable, she counted 1,500 participants — a large num-
“We often hear that ‘Chabad is poach- and sanitized the synagogue experience — added. There are many stories of so-called ber for an indie minyan in a midsize Jewish
ing our members,’” Ms. Glass said. “That and it should be anything but. So when we library minyamin, alternative minyans community like Dallas. Makom was active
they’re taking ‘our people.’ My response start with rules and regulations, when we that meet in shul libraries, at the same from 2012 to 2015, and met for services in
to that is that people have free will, and start with money, which is how most start time that the main service goes on in the a loft space wallpapered with whiteboards
if they are choosing to go elsewhere, they their relationships, it doesn’t go well.” A sanctuary. “The story is that the minyanim that attendees were free to draw on before
really weren’t yours to begin with. relationship that starts by telling you how grow and grow and grow. There is singing. the davening began.
“So how do these things” — the rise of much money you will owe, and only after It is very freilich. Differences with the synagogue led to
alternative minyanim and their growth that’s out of the way goes on to discuss “What happens is that people start to Makom’s folding, and its founders, Dani-
into space-seeking organizations, and “you, and your Jewish journey, and what get older. They have kids. Now they want elle Rugoff and her husband, Rabbi David
Chabad’s growth in the suburbs — “corre- place God has in your life,” is not likely to to have a bar or bat mitzvah, but the space Singer, moved to San Diego, where he is a
late? It speaks to working the model. succeed, she said. is too small. So now the library minyan Hillel rabbi. But Ms. Rugoff says they are
“What is attractive about these alterna- “When you are single and you meet a wants to take over the sanctuary. They exploring a return to Dallas, where they
tive minyanim and the Chabad houses of prospective partner, you do not say ‘Hi! want — maybe they need — the accoutre- could re-create Makom as a fully indepen-
worship? I think that there is an authen- Will you marry me?’ You expect that you ments of a more traditional space, which dent organization.
ticity in mission and action. That what will get to know that person, you will come involves, you know, a mortgage. And “There’s nothing out there for Conserva-
you feel in these types of institutions is to care about one another, first. Most syna- then the whole financial picture changes, tive Jews that was relevant and compelling,
what many people don’t feel in tradi- gogues do it the other way around. because then your need does. that also was a space where Jews by choice,
tional synagogues. “It’s ‘Hi! Will you member me? Will “So hopefully they don’t lose that which Reform Jews, interfaith couples, where
“I say many, not all, because you can you give me money so we can enter into makes them less traditional, even though people could come in and be able to really
point to many examples of thriving tradi- a relationship where I hope we will get they really do have to have a more tradi- witness and feel a Judaism that was closer
tional synagogues,” Ms. Glass said. Choos- to know each other and care about each tional dues conversation. to something that they would practice,”
ing to mention nearby institutions that other and live in sacred community with “We don’t know yet, one way or the she said. “Talking about big ideas and the
still are outside the federation’s catch- each other?” other, how they will work out,” Ms. Glass value of life and everything else Judaism
ment area, she cited Manhattan’s Congre- The conclusion she draws, Ms. Glass concluded. “But I was not surprised at all can offer is something people want.”
gation B’nai Jeshurun and Park Avenue said, is that “the model isn’t broken. to hear about these changes.” For Rabbi Ain, the choice to move from a
Synagogue, Congregation Agudath Israel We know that there are places where it An example of how institutional con- bowling alley to a bimah is partly practical
in Caldwell, and the Orangetown Jewish is thriving. There just aren’t enough of cerns can lead to a successful prayer group See Synagogue page 35

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Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018 7


Cohens fund seekers of peace

Money to go to building bridges, working for peace, in Stephen Cohen’s memory
JOANNE PALMER “His memory can provide both a model

for what one person could do and can
f there is to be any hope for peace, inspire others to seek ways to bridge the
the late Stephen P. Cohen believed, impasse,” Dr. Ruskay said.
it would have to come from human Dr. Eva Fogelman, a Manhattan-based
relationships. From people talking to psychotherapist who specializes in trauma
each other out of the hot glare of the public in general and the trauma of second-gener-
eye. From backchannel diplomacy, because ation Holocaust survivors in particular, also
that allows a degree of honesty, of genuine sits on the advisory board for the Stephen
connection, that more open and therefore Cohen fund.
more theatrical communications do not. Dr. Cohen changed her life, Dr. Fogelman
That’s why his family set up the Stephen said.
P. Cohen Seekers of Peace Fund at the She remembers the first time she saw
New Israel Fund. Last week, the Cohens him. It was in 1972, at a conference of the
announced the fund’s first grant, for Network of Jewish Students, an activist
$20,000, which will go to a Jerusalem-based group that was both very much of its time
project called “Lowering the Walls.” Dr. Steven Cohen meets with Anwar Sadat in Alexandria in 1978. and very, well, Jewish. “I remember that
Dr. Cohen — who was born after the official program was over, a whole
in Montreal and taught in such Mr. Netanyahu accused scale, and so the Cohen funds it receives bunch of people got together in one of the
institutions as Harvard, where he the NIF of being anti-Israel can make an actual, noticeable difference rooms — it was a very dingy room, some-
earned his doctorate, and who and blamed the organiza- for the children with whom the program where in New York,” she said. “He was pon-
created and ran the Middle East tion for the reaction to his works. The program brings Arab and Israeli tificating about vocation versus avocation. It
Institute for Peace and Develop- back-and-forth decisions kids together; because it’s about build- always sort of stuck in my mind.” Dr. Cohen
ment at CUNY’s Graduate Center on expelling migrants.) ing bridges, the activity to which Stephen always did have strong opinions.
— lived in Teaneck for decades. “There isn’t such a cul- Cohen devoted his life, and also about edu- Later, Dr. Fogelberg moved to Cambridge,
He and his wife, the Jewish edu- ture of philanthropy in cation, which has been the propelling force where Steve and Elaine Cohen lived; they
cator Elaine Shizgal Cohen, were Israel as there is here,” she behind Elaine Cohen’s decisions, it seems were active in the same political and egalitar-
active members of Congregation added; that makes the new a perfect way for Dr. Cohen to help Dr. ian religious groups and came to know each
Beth Sholom there. Dr. Cohen NIF donors even more wor- Cohen’s memory flourish. other well. She remembers that “Steve had
died in January 2017. He was 71. Elaine Shizgal Cohen thy of note. (NIF officials John Ruskay is the executive vice president a shortwave radio, so when the Yom Kippur
Now, Dr. Cohen’s widow — also estimated that some 95 per- of UJA-Federation of New York and a decades- War broke out in October of 1973 we would
called Dr. Cohen — along with their three cent of the Israelis who gave in response to long friend of both Steve and Elaine Cohen. listen to the news.” Steve and a friend, Bill
daughters, his brother, her brother, and some Mr. Netanyahu’s comments were first-time “We were part of related communities Novak (who went on to write books about
others, created the Stephen P. Cohen Seekers NIF donors.) that were trying to renew Jewish life, from Jewish humor) put together a newsletter
of Peace Fund. The fund, according to its mis- “The NIF works in the areas of human the early 1970s onward,” Dr. Ruskay said. called the Mideast Probe, Dr. Fogelberg
sion statement, was founded to further Ste- rights and democracy, shared social and “I was involved in the New York chavurah recalled. “Then a whole bunch of us who had
phen Cohen’s understanding that “the best economic justice, and religious freedom,” movement, and he was in Chavurat Shalom cars would deliver them to influentials in the
approach to resolving conflicts among and Dr. Cohen said. “So we decided to look at in Boston. We were both involved in Jewish neighborhood.” Those so-called influentials
between parties locked in political, cultural, initiatives for strengthening democracy. educational renewal. included such New York Times columnists as
and religious disagreements is through direct Those are areas where we knew that Steve’s “We have been doing this for a very long Anthony Lewis, and the information in the
communication and face-to-face dialogue.” friends and relatives would be happy to time.” newsletters in fact occasionally did surface in
The fund is not a foundation. It’s com- make a donation.” He describes his friend Steve as someone Lewis’s columns. “Most people did not have
plicated to set up a 501 (c ) (3), Dr. Cohen Elaine and Steve had three daughters, whose work was both invaluable and hid- shortwave radios,” Dr. Fogelberg pointed out.
learned, and if she and her board had Tamara, Ayelet, and Maya; Tamara and den. “Steve was a pioneer in recognizing the “One of the things that Steve always said is
done that, they would have had to send Ayelet both are rabbis. They also have five urgent need to reconcile Israelis and Pales- that information is power.”
out their own requests for proposals, grandchildren. The family and friends tinians,” Dr. Ruskay said. “From the mid When Dr. Fogelberg worked on the doc-
and then evaluate the responses, and the on the advisory board, each of whom 1970s on, he devoted so much of his life to torate, Dr. Cohen was her advisor. “He was
whole proposition “seemed overwhelm- is extremely well connected in the Jew- working with the highest officials of govern- a major influence in my life, intellectually,
ing.” So the fund had to become part of a ish world, “set up a designated fund, and ment on both sides. He did much of it totally personally, socially,” she said. “He always
larger organization. “We looked at the New through outreach, we have raised $132,000 privately — it was backchannel diplomacy. was a feminist in his outlook, and in those
Israel Fund,” Dr. Cohen said. “I wanted to in the United States, and about $5,000 in He also supported people-to-people endeav- days we had very few religiously committed
find a project that really reflected Steve’s Canada,” Dr. Cohen said. She jump-started ors, which led to greater understanding.” Jews who were feminist.
values, and his approach to working on the fund with a gift, and then approached He remembers a story about his friend “We did not know about all his activi-
conflict resolution. I also wanted to find many of her husband’s friends, students, Steve. “There was a crisis in Beirut, and he ties,” she added. “We didn’t know about
an area where our friends and relatives, and colleagues. They were generous. simply went to Beirut and started walking. his meetings with people like Arafat. He
across a fairly wide spectrum from liberal The goal is to give away about $30,000 “He wanted to find Arafat.” That was Yasir kept them quite secret. We knew that he
to progressive, would be comfortable.” in grants for five years. “It is a spend-down, Arafat, the head of the Palestine Liberation was doing things, but we didn’t know what
(The family has few friends or relatives to not a foundation,” Dr. Cohen said. The Organization; the crisis was the siege of he was doing.
the right of center, she clarified.) advisory board plans to give away another Beirut, which ended in Arafat’s expulsion “I am just one person whose life Steve
In making the choice of the New Israel $10,000 this year; it has not yet started to from Lebanon. Dr. Ruskay doesn’t remem- influenced in a major way,” Dr. Fogelberg
Fund, Dr. Cohen said, she knew that she decide where the money should go next ber the specifics of the episode; what he concluded. “He believed in me, and what
was picking a group that had been the tar- year, but Dr. Cohen is fairly certain that it remembers is his friend’s irrepressible it was that I could do — and that changed
get of “attempted vilification. But it is really will go to different groups. chutzpah — and seemingly contradictory my life.
doing well, and the recent attacks by Prime Lowering the Wall, which will receive but nonetheless enormous capacity to “So this advisory board now is trying
Minister Netanyahu resulted in 3,000 new $20,000 from the fund, is an anti-racism keep secrets, if bridges could be built on to make sure that the work he started will
Israeli donors to the fund.” (In early April, program based in Jerusalem; it’s small those untold truths. continue.”



Local programs win Women’s Initiative Challenge Grants

Orthodox Union grants planned to support
women’s learning, spirituality, sense of community
ABIGAIL KLEIN LEICHMAN month and we’ll check in by email to see

how it’s going and suggest prompts for
hree inaugural local programs conversations.”
have won Women’s Initiative Another in-person session is planned
Challenge Grants from the on the question of how to give and receive
Orthodox Union. The grants effective feedback at work. The third ses-
are earmarked to support the spiritual, sion will feature breakout discussion
religious, and communal growth of Ortho- groups on issues such as work-life balance,
dox women. ethical dilemmas, and practical advice
The Summer Women’s Beit Midrash about modest dress, behavior, and kashrut
(Congregation Keter Torah, Teaneck), in the workplace.
Women’s Professional Mentorship Pro- “Our shul is growing rapidly; currently
gram (Congregation Darchei Noam, Fair we have about 135 member families and
Lawn), and Women’s Institute of Learning the majority of the women work profes-
and Leadership (Congregation Shomrei sionally,” Ms. Donath said. “Even if women
Torah, Fair Lawn) are among 16 innovative are reaching or past retirement age they
programs in 11 states selected from a field could serve as mentors. We’re also open to
of 93 applicants. stay-at-home moms mentoring each other.”
Gail Stechler, a member of Keter Torah, She said the OU grant “will allow these
explained that she and fellow congregant women to feel connected and empowered
Yael Landman participate in many of the in a way that they haven’t before.”
shul’s existing learning programs. They Dr. Adina Shmidman, founding direc-
wanted to offer a more intensive text-based tor of the OU’s Department of Women’s
option for women on summer evenings, Initiatives, which was launched this year,

geared particularly for teenagers return- said that the challenge grant “captures
ing from gap-year programs in Israel that the positive energy of so many commu-
devote many hours to deep textual study. nities. Once these programs are piloted,
Twice-weekly classes in Jewish law Rena Levin of Teaneck, left, and Shoshana Charnoff, an educator from the OU’s they can be offered widely in other com-
and Talmud will be offered for beginners JLIC program, work together at a women’s learning event at Queens College. munities so that they too can benefit
and advanced learners during the Three from the wisdom and experience of suc-
Weeks — the semi-mourning period that “It’s always been on my mind that couple’s intimate life — is using the OU cessful initiatives.”
begins with the fast of the 17th of Tam- there is something we could do more for grant to create the Women’s Professional Applications for the challenge grant
muz on July 1 and ends with the fast of women,” she said. “I had different types Mentorship Program to begin in October. were evaluated based on the creativity of
the 9th of Av on July 22 — taught by three of ideas and the OU challenged us to “We are always trying to come up with the proposed program, the target audi-
female teachers engaged specifically for think about this with our collective wis- new and innovative programs for the com- ence, and whether the project could be
the program. dom as women.” munity,” Ms. Donath said. “We already replicated in other communities.
In addition, the Summer Women’s Beit Scheduled to start in the summer or provide women’s leadership and learning The Women’s Initiative ran a Shavuot
Midrash at Keter Torah will arrange evening no later than the High Holiday season programs. In general, there’s a lack of pro- speaker series for women and by women
study partners for women who may be stu- in early fall, the Women’s Institute of fessional mentorship opportunities, par- in member shuls across North America;
dents or professionals, as well as one-on- Learning and Leadership is designed to ticularly for women, and Orthodox women many of those shuls had not ever hosted
one tutoring for girls 10 years old and older. tap into existing talent in the 300-family have unique challenges in the workplace. women educators in this capacity. Upcom-
Tutors will be eligible to receive a stipend. synagogue to enhance the Jewish study So we wanted to put a religious spin on a ing programs include a multi-city training
“We’re trying to expose women to opportunities and personal connections professional development program.” course to sensitize mikvah attendants to
areas of learning which the shuls in of girls and women. Those unique challenges can include, medical and mental-health needs, an eve-
the community do not usually offer to “A lot of people don’t have the capabil- for example, how to handle a project dead- ning of spiritual inspiration between Rosh
women,” Ms. Stechler said. “We also ity to learn interactively, perhaps if they’re line that coincides with a two- or three-day Hashana and Yom Kippur, and the cre-
wanted to give women an opportunity to confined to the house or working full Jewish holiday when the woman will not ation of the Women’s Impact Institute, a
teach as well as learn.” time,” Dr. Markowitz said. She also envi- be at work; how to deal with the expecta- leadership training program.
The program is free of charge and open sions mentoring relationships between tion of attending a business conference “For more than a century, the Orthodox
to the greater community. younger women or girls and older women. that takes place on Shabbat; and how to Union has addressed the religious and spir-
“If there is enough interest in beginners “I think there will be an undercurrent answer interview questions about Sabbath itual needs of the American Jewish com-
Talmud, we may continue it throughout of empowering leadership informally, and and holiday observance. munity,” the OU’s president, Moishe Bane,
the year,” Ms. Stechler said. we hope to have formal leadership train- “We’re planning to have three ‘See You said. “Ever-changing circumstances and
Congregation Shomrei Torah is launch- ing for different ages as well,” she contin- In Person’ meetings throughout the year, challenges, however, compel the ongoing
ing the Women’s Institute of Learning and ued. “We’ll start in our own shul commu- in which we’ll bring in professionals who exploration of new approaches to advance
Leadership, promoting multifaceted pro- nity, with a core group, to pilot different have expertise in a certain area,” Ms. Don- our connection to God, both as individuals
gramming for girls and women of all ages, aspects of the program, so that we can ath said. and collectively as a community.
including a mentorship program, a bat monitor that it’s making the impact we “Our first speaker will talk about what “We therefore feel particularly privileged
mitzvah program, and virtual learning in want it to. Eventually we could open it up a mentorship relationship is on a prac- to be partnering with women of extraordi-
both class and study-partner settings. to a lot of people.” tical level, and will give a survey to the nary vision and commitment from across
Dr. Sara Markowitz, clinical psychologist Shira Donath, wife of the rabbi of Con- women in our program to match up men- the community, to pursue exciting and
and the wife of the shul’s rabbi, conceived gregation Darchei Noam and also its tors and mentees based on skills they want innovative initiatives seeking to enhance
of the program “with an amazing group of yoetzet halacha — a certified adviser in to improve or are strong in. We’re hop- the religious and spiritual growth of the
women.” laws and practices relating to a married ing these mentor pairs will speak once a contemporary Jewish woman.”


Briefly Local

Scholarship awardees
Lauren Cohen, So-
fie Kravitz, Rebecca
Brandon, Dina Gelsey,
Deanna Javer, Tal
Kamin, and Nicole
Matanov. Melanie
Leider is not pictured.

From left, Schwartz Realty’s President Moshe Schwartz; Meilech Weber, CEO of
OJBA; Ezra Friedlander, CEO of the Friedlander Group; Yossi Menczer; NJJBA’s
NCJW honors future leaders
executive director David Rosenberg; Maksim Sheyn, senior vice president of At a recent board meeting of the Bergen HS/Ithaca College) received the Zimmer-
Investors Bank; Joel Epstein, COO of Fabuwood; Ari Stahl, vice president of Gel County section of the National Council man Family Scholarship. National Coun-
Spice; Nathan Herzog, president of Royal Wine Corp.; Phillip Goldschmiedt, CEO of Jewish Women, eight graduating high cil of Jewish Women Bergen County Sec-
of Poly-Version; and Abe Rosenberg, vice president of US Chocolate Co. school seniors were awarded $1,000 tion Scholarships were given to Nicole
college scholarships. The students were Matanov (Academies at Englewood/
North Jersey Jewish Business Alliance chosen based on their academic records,
in recognition of their leadership accom-
Occidental College) and Melanie Lieder
(Ridgewood HS/Middlebury College).
meets with Washington officials plishments in school and community, Evalyn Brownstein, the scholarship
During the NJJBA’s day of advocacy, lunch included Leonard Lance (R-Dist. 7), and their commitment to Jewish values. committee co-chair, presented the
members met with Senator Cory Booker, Tom MacArthur (R-Dist. 3), Josh Gottheimer Marjorie G. Aerenson Memorial Schol- awards. “Among the scholarship criteria
praised NJJBA members for employing so (D-Dist. 5), and Bill Pascrell (D-Dist. 9). The arships were awarded to Rebecca Bran- were each candidate’s academic record,
many workers. He talked to them about group also met with staff for representa- don (Westwood Jr./Sr HS/ Brandeis Uni- meaningful participation in school and/
soon-to-be established opportunity zones, tives Bonnie Watson Coleman (D-Dist. 12), versity) and Deanna Javer (Mahwah HS/ or community activities, and financial
new business incentives in low-income Donald Norcross (D-Dist. 1), Chris Smith Adelphi College). Lauren Cohen (Pas- need,” she said. “This year’s recipients
neighborhoods that help to create jobs. (R-Dist. 4), and Frank Pallone (D-Dist. 7). cack Valley HS/Tufts University) was the raised the bar in every way.”
The group also met with Senator Menen- Nathan Herzog, president of Royal Kabakow Family Scholarship awardee. Other committee members included
dez’ senior staff at the Senate Hart Office Wine Corp., who was the NJJBA’s mission Dina Gelsey (Northern Valley Regional Grace Fuld, Phyllis Grossman-Kaplan,
Building to talk about transportation, co-chair, summarized the day in Washing- HS/ University of Rochester) received the Peggy Kabakow, Elizabeth Warms, Hen-
trade, and taxes. Members thanked Mr. ton: “Seeing the high regard that the Alli- Wolfeiler-Simon Scholarship. Tal Kamin rietta Wolfeiler, and Nanette Matlick, the
Menendez for his advocacy for New Jersey ance is treated with by the highest levels (Bergen County Academies/University of other co-chair. For more information on
and its Jewish citizens. of government is a testament to the strong Michigan) earned the Bach Scholarship. NCJW BCS, go to or
The group had lunch with members of unified voice that the NJJBA created.” He Sofie Kravitz (Northern Valley Regional call (201) 385-4847.
New Jersey’s delegation to the U.S. House added, “If you are not a member of the
of Representatives, where the conversa- Alliance yet, this is the time for you to sign
tion centered on challenges facing New up to have us assist you at the local, state
Jersey businesses. Representatives at the and federal levels of government.”
Teaneck Norpac meeting
hosts Senator Robert Menendez
Drs. Esther and Mort Fridman hosted a
AJC global forum Norpac meeting featuring U.S. Senator
Robert Menendez, Democrat of New Jer-
in Jerusalem sey, at their Teaneck home.
The American Jewish Committee’s annual Senator Menendez chairs the Senate
global forum was held in Jerusalem this Foreign Relations Committee. He was
year in honor of Israel’s 70th anniversary. the first New Jersey Democrat to oppose
More than 2,400 AJC members, including the Iran deal in 2015 and has been a
400 college students, met at the Interna- co-sponsor or co-author of most major
tional Conference Center to listen to many bipartisan bills on American security
leaders, including Israeli Prime Minister funding to Israel and Iran sanctions.
Benjamin Netanyahu; Sebastian Kurz, Aus- Discussing moving the U.S. Embassy
tria’s federal chancellor; Boykin Borisson, in Israel to Jerusalem, Menendez said:
the Republic of Bulgaria’s prime minister; “The opening of the U.S. embassy in Jeru-
Tzipi Levni, co-leader of the Zionist Union, salem is grounded in the conviction that Dr. Mort Fridman, left, with Senator
and Miss Israel and Miss Iraq. Participants in the AJC Global Forum the U.S. should recognize the historical Robert Menendez. COURTESY NORPAC

AJC is the leading global Jewish advo- in Jerusalem included Dov Wilker, the Jewish connection to Jerusalem. Over
cacy organization. Locally AJC has two executive director of AJC Atlanta, and two decades ago, U.S. law established the relationship. He said that fringe elements
offices — in its New Jersey and Rockland/ his mother, Simone Wilker of River location of the U.S. Embassy in Israel, a within the party would not change the
Westchester/Fairfield regions. Its national Vale, representing AJC New Jersey. law that I voted for. This move was never dialogue on Israel in Congress as long as
headquarters are in Manhattan.  PHOTO PROVIDED a matter of if, but when.” pro-Israel advocates continue their work
During the meeting, Senator Menen- on Capitol Hill.
dez was optimistic about U.S. relations Senator Menendez has been in Con-
with Israel, and that the Democratic gress for 20 years and is up for re-elec-
party would continue to support the tion in November.



Daniel Frenkel, 13, who raised nearly

$1,500 for his bar mitzvah project, and
Shira, Robert, and David Feuerstein, join Susan Greenbaum, Deborah David Feuerstein, 23, bike ride founder. Donna Weintraub, Karen Farber, and Allison
Glasser, Jaymie Kerr, and Mara Miller. Schwartz enjoy the day.

JFCSNNJ supporters bike

and hike to fight hunger Iris Wormser,
On Sunday, June 17, Jewish Family & Chil- Madlen Megar,
bike routes of 3, 10, 25, and 50-miles.
dren’s Services of Northern New Jersey The day’s proceeds support two JFCSNNJ Rachel Ehrlich,
held its 8th annual Wheels for Meals Ride programs — Kosher Meals on Wheels, which Jeff Bader,
Diane Siden,
to Fight Hunger. This year’s ride, which distributes more than 45,000 meals to
and Laurie Bader
attracted nearly 200 cyclists and hikers, homebound seniors each year, and the JFCS
on the event’s
raised more than $100,000 to help hungry food pantries in Teaneck and Fair Lawn,
inaugural hike.
families in Bergen and Passaic counties. which feed nearly 500 families in northern
Beginning and ending at the Jewish Home New Jersey. Great weather, energetic volun-
at Rockleigh, the ride took cyclists through teers, and delicious food kept participants
the Hudson Valley and offered challenging invigorated after their journeys.

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134 Hopper Avenue, Waldwick · 201-444-7660 ·


Briefly Local

Representative Josh
Gottheimer (D-NJ
Dist. 5), right, with,
from left, Phil Cohen,
Dr. David Green, and
Sarah N. Stern.

Gottheimer wins EMET award

Representative Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ Dist. a nuclear-armed Iran.
5) was awarded the Speaker of Truth award “For 70 years, the unbreakable bond
by the Endowment for Middle East Truth. between the U.S. and Israel has been
Sarah N. Stern, EMET’s founder and rooted in our shared values of freedom,
Chabad women’s group goes president, and Dr. David Green, who
chairs its executive committee, presented
democracy, and the rule of law,” Mr. Got-
theimer said. “It is now more important
to Lubavitcher rebbe’s grave in Queens Mr. Gottheimer with the award for his than ever for members of both parties,
On June 24, Hindy Drizin, back row left, led a group from Valley Chabad’s Women’s “continuing excellence in standing up for to remember our ally Israel’s strate-
Circle to the ohel (gravesite) of Rabbi Menachem Mendel Shneerson, the Lubavitcher Israel and speaking the truth about the gic importance to our country. EMET’s
rebbe, in Queens. He died 24 years ago. Middle East.” In Congress, Mr. Gottheimer efforts to recognize and inculcate strong
Throughout Jewish history it has been the traditional custom to pray at the gravesite has led several bipartisan initiatives to support for Israel, on both sides of the
of the righteous to beseech the Almighty for blessing. The visit was a time of spiritual strengthen U.S.-Israel bilateral missile aisle, demonstrate the organization’s
connection, blessing, and renewal. For more information, go to or defense cooperation, combat the boy- ongoing commitment to strengthen-
call (201) 476-0157. cott of Israel, and help protect both the ing the historic bipartisan relationship
United States and Israel from the threat of between our two countries.”

Emeth congregants
rally for change
Rabbi Steven Sirbu, front left, along with Temple Emeth
in Teaneck members who participated in the Humanity in

Support of Families Belong Together rally at the Glen Rock
Borough Hall on June 30.

Rabbi Chaim Bronstein, left, with the dean of RIETS, Rabbi Menachem Penner; Evan Genachowski; Matthew LeVee; Daniel Reich; Judah Kerbel; Jonathan Drory;
Yechiel Neuburger of Teaneck; Dr. Norman Blumenthal; Rabbi Neal Turk, the mashgiach of the semicha program and director of the RIETS/Ferkauf program; Profes-
sor Laura Turk; Dr. Arlene Steinberg, and Dr. Rosalyn Sherman. COURTESY YU

Teaneck’s Neuburger among grads of YU mental health counseling program

The joint mental health counseling program combines the mental health expertise and six graduate-level courses designed to as semicha. The coursework also can be
offered to students in Yeshiva University’s resources of Ferkauf with the experience address the unique challenges faced by applied toward a master’s degree in men-
Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary, and spiritual guidance of the RIETS fac- communal leaders, including two founda- tal health counseling with an emphasis in
in conjunction with the Ferkauf Graduate ulty, provides in-depth training in mental tional pastoral psychology courses, which pastoral psychology at Ferkauf.
School of Psychology, recently celebrated health counseling, which is an increas- are required within their first two years of At a ceremony on YU’s Wilf campus at
the graduation of its second cohort. ingly important component of modern semicha studies. Students receive a certifi- the end of June, seven semicha students
T h e 1 8 - m o n t h p ro g r a m , wh i c h rabbinic responsibilities. Students take cate in mental health counseling as well received their certificates of completion.



Serving the Jewish community
of Bergen County for 12 years
organizing humorist and
All certified home health aides
Bestselling author
licensed, bonded and criminal
background checks

Jamie Novak RN supervision & coordination

23 live-in
· 3 and
pM.respite care

Five Star Premier live on-call service
of Teaneck
655 Pomander Walk, social
Complimentary Teaneck
Jamie travels between her offices in New Jersey and California
presenting programs to other
on how elder care and de-clutter. She has been
to de-stress
seen on QVC, HGTV, Better TV and writes for Reader’s Digest on line.
When not on the road, Jamie is searching for a cure to her addiction to
recipes she never prepares. She will share:
• What to keep

• What to toss
• What to share or sell
and how to let it all go
run, don’t walk, to this workshop and learn how to get organized
and clutter free. after her hilarious presentation she will be
signing her book “keep this toss that” for all who purchase one.
RSVP suggested
Shelley Edelson 201 836-7474 or Redelson@
Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018 13
Cover Story

Dr. Elana Sztokman’s
book of Indian recipes and
stories is full of Jewish values
JOANNE PALMER —well, that’s what was underfoot. “He

wanted to get them out of the sewage
here is almost nothing overtly and into class.
Jewish about the book called “He started working with NGOs” — non-
“Masala Mamas.” governmental agencies — “and he found
The book called “Masala that he had to provide them with food.
Mamas” is a deeply, overwhelmingly “It’s very simple,” Elana said. “If
Jewish book. schools provide food, the children will
Both these things are true at the same go to school.” Once they’re in school,
time. they can eat — and once they’re not hun-
How can that be? gry, they can learn.
“Masala Mamas,” written by Brook- “Literacy is everything. A kid who
lynite-turned-Israeli Elana Sztokman, is has literacy and math skills and some
a cookbook featuring kosher vegetarian English has opportunity. That changes
Indian recipes. It’s an art book, full of everything. It changes their whole life
lusciously, extravagantly colorful pho- trajectory.”
tographs of food and the women who Just as Jacob was realizing that the
create it. And it’s a storybook, telling the most productive thing he could do
tales of those women’s lives. would be to get children food in their
The Masala Mamas are Indian women schools, “he met a group of women who
who moved from villages to a massive were looking for an enterprise. It was a
slum called Kalwa, itself a tiny part of the good shidduch.”
massive city of Mumbai. They’re all poor So Gabriel Project Mumbai “out-
and uneducated, at least if you count sources the project of feeding the kids,”
only formal education; they’re all rich in Elana said. “We pay the women to do it.
life experience and knowledge. They do all of it.” They make the meals,
These women take care of their fami- and they deliver them. Altogether, she
lies, and then they come to a central said, they feed about 1,000 3- to 14-year-
kitchen in Kalwa to prepare meals for olds in the three schools that Gabriel
schoolchildren. Project Mumbai runs every day.
That’s all local. Dr. Sztokman is a writer and anthro-
They’re funded by a group called pologist; she’s also “a supportive
Gabriel Project Mumbai, founded by spouse,” she said. Just as the women’s
Dr. Sztokman’s husband, Jacob Sztok- need for work and the children’s need
man. Jacob was a high-tech marketer in for food came together, so did her back-
2012, when he went to India and was ground and talents.
affected by what he saw there to the She’s written three books; “The Men’s
point where he could not let it go. “So Section: Orthodox Jewish Men in an
he started the organization to help the Egalitarian World” won the National
kids he saw; to help fight child labor Jewish Book Council award for women’s
and promote education. studies in 2012, and the next year her
“Jacob found kids working in sew- “Educating in the Divine Image: Gender
age,” Elana said; she meant that literally. Issues in Orthodox Jewish Day Schools”
Children had to work if they and their won another award from the council,
families were to eat, and the sewage this time for education and identity.


Cover Story

(It’s rare for a writer to win the award

twice, much less in consecutive years.)
Her doctorate is in sociology and
anthropology, and she specializes in
gender studies, so it was both a logical
and emotional decision to write about
the women. “I really wanted to write
from a cultural perspective,” she said.
“I really wanted to show the world of
women’s culture.
“My dissertation was about educa-
tion as an arm of culture, and here I’m
writing about food as the arm of a cul-
ture — and particularly women’s cul-
ture, and most particularly women’s
hidden culture.
“I was coming at it not as an expert,
not as an anthropologist, but just try-
ing to convey the women’s love for
what they are doing, and for who
they are.
“These are women who so often are
completely unseen,” she continued.
“They are not literate. Most of them
got married in their early to mid teens.
They are women who nobody thinks
about or cares about. But they carry
so much life with them! They carry tra-
dition and ideas and dreams and pas-
sions. I really wanted to show that.”
Almost all of the photographers
whose work illuminates the book are
volunteers, amateurs, although you
wouldn’t know that to look at the pho-
tos. The layout was done by an Israeli
artist, Shoshana Balofsky, who had the
idea to edge the pages in every section
with a pattern from a sari one of the
women was wearing. Each section dis-
plays a different women’s sari pattern.
“The real Jewish story about this
is that Gabriel Project Mumbai is the
only Jewish organization tackling pov-
erty in Mumbai,” Dr. Sztokman said.
“We are the only Jews there.


Cover Story

“There are a lot of Jewish organizations that talk the on global Jewish needs and international humanitarian
Jewish talk about social justice, but this is the only one issues,” its website tells us.
running programs that actively engage on that issue. “It sends dozens of volunteers from all around the
When we were opening a new building, and he affixed a world and exposes these young Jewish adults to the issues
mezuzah on our door. of global poverty, global hunger, global malnutrition, and
“We bring Jewish volunteers to work,” she continued. child labor,” Dr. Sztokman said. “We are the gateway for
“They’re with JDC Entwine.” That’s the American Jewish young Jewish adults who want to get firsthand experience
Joint Distribution Committee’s Project Entwine, a “one- understanding these global issues.
of-a-kind movement for young Jewish leaders, influenc- “The Jewish volunteers come from around the world,”
ers, and advocates who seek to make a meaningful impact she added. “From every continent.
“But we don’t want to overemphasize the Jewish con-
nection,” she said — but she said so reluctantly, and only
after being pressed to expand on the Jewish connection.
“We don’t want to say ‘Look how great we are!’ We want
to say ‘Look at how great these women are.’ That’s why we
did the book the way we did it.
“We don’t want to be insensitive to them. We don’t want
to be the great white Jewish saviors, coming in to rescue
them. That’s why we play ourselves down.”
And that’s because she, like her husband, like Gabriel
Project Mumbai, exemplify not only the Jewish value of
tzedaka — of giving charitably, both of tangible objects
and of your time and energy and love — but also of tzniut.
Of modesty. That’s a value often thought to be connected
only to physical presentation, but also has to do with the
less tangible refusal to show off and preen.
In “Masala Mamas,” the very Jewish Elana Sztokman
expresses that Jewishness by providing the Indian women
whose work and love suffuse the book to define that Jew-
Jacob and Elana Sztokman ishness for and with her.

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Cover Story

Mysore Bhajji (Yogurt Fritters) Palak Paneer (Spinach and

By Jayshree Kondwal White Cheese Stew)
INGREDIENTS By Kalpana Gawde
1 cup all-purpose flour (maida)
1/2 tsp baking soda INGREDIENTS
1/4 cup grated fresh coconut 1 cup spinach, chopped
1 tbsp sugar 1 green chiii pepper, chopped
1/2 tsp salt 1 inch ginger
1 inch ginger, grated 2 cloves gariic
1 tsp jeera (cumin seeds) 1 tsp oil
1/2 tsp chopped coriander 1/2 tsp cumin seeds
2 small green chili peppers 1 tsp turmeric
1 cup soft white cheese, either paneer, 1/2 cup onion, finely diced
cottage cheese or ricotta 1 tsp coriander powder
1 tsp garam masala
METHOD 1 tsp salt
1. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking soda. 8 oz paneer, cubed
coconut, sugar, salt, ginger, jeera, and coriander. Add
chopped and deseeded chili peppers — and remember METHOD
to use rubber gloves when handling them. 1. Boil a pot of water and cook the spinach for 2-3
minutes. Drain the spinach and blend green chili pepper,
2. Add the cheese. and knead well. The dough should
ginger and garlic in a blender or food processer. Drizzle
not need any liquid other than the liquid in the cheese.
water to aid in the blending process, but not too much
Set aside for 1-2 hours to rest.
— that will make it too liquidy. It should form a paste.
3. When the dough is ready, make golf ball-sized balls
2. In a frying pan, heat the oil over a high heat.
out of the batter. Heat oil in a pan or pot, and deep fry
Add cumin seeds, turmeric, and onions. Cook over a
the balls in oil until they are brown on all sides, around
medium heat until the onions are brown, approximately
4-5 minutes each. Turn in the middle. Remove the bhajjis
6-7 minutes.
from the oil with a slotted spoon and rest them on paper
towels to continue to drain excess oil. 3. Add spinach paste. coriander powder, garam masala
and salt, and cook for 5 minutes.
Serve with your favorite chutney.
4. Add paneer. Cook for five minutes.
Garnish with cheese.

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Jewish World

Netanyahu is welcoming authoritarians

Does that make Israel safer?

t has become a staple of his stump speeches to audi-
ences in Israel and abroad: Far from being isolated
politically, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu
argues, Israel is forming new and stronger alliances with
a host of countries around the world.
In recent years, Netanyahu has either visited or hosted Pres-
ident Vladimir Putin of Russia, Prime Minister Viktor Orban
of Hungary, and President Ilham Aliyev of Azerbaijan, among
others. Netanyahu plans to host Orban in July and Filipino
strongman Rodrigo Duterte in September.
Netanyahu touts these leaders’ support for Israel in inter-
national forums. But critics say he is cozying up to authori-


tarian governments and turning a blind eye to some of their
regimes’ efforts at Holocaust revisionism and anti-Semitic
That criticism is being heard again as the Foreign Ministry
of Israel confirmed this week that Netanyahu will host Orban
from July 18 to 20. Many Israeli lawmakers have urged Netan-
yahu not to do so, citing among other things the right-wing
Hungarian leader’s campaign against the Hungarian-Ameri-
can philanthropist George Soros, a campaign that many con-
sidered to be obliquely anti-Semitic.
Tamara Cofman Wittes of the Brookings Institution criti-
cized the upcoming visits on Twitter, writing that the Israeli
government is “hosting Orban and now maybe Duterte? Sad
company to keep.” Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, left, and his Hungarian counterpart Viktor Orban, hold a joint
Netanyahu’s defenders say he is willing to extend diplomatic news conference at the Parliament building in Budapest on July 18, 2017.
overtures to both democracies and authoritarian regimes in
what he sees as a necessary pursuit to ensure Israel’s survival. vice president at the Foundation for Defense of Democ- decision-making. Shapiro said that rolling out the red
“Israel often has no choice but to maintain ties with unsa- racies, said. “As a country that has found itself isolated carpet for authoritarians is an ill-advised attempt to
vory or authoritarian regimes,” Jonathan Schanzer, senior by its neighbors and sometimes shunned by Western adapt to a diplomatic reality promoted by President
Europe, Israel has been forced to try and find friends Donald Trump in which relations with Russia, China,
in unlikely places.” and Hungary are prized, while those with Germany, the
“This outreach” to unsavory regimes, Schanzer clari- United Kingdom, and France are diminished.

S aam m yy’s’s fied, “should not be conflated with the alliance that it “Israel has long, and justifiably, considered itself part
S m m shares with the United States that is based on values.” of the club of democracies, as an expression of its self-
Critics of the outreach say it is coming at a time of identification as a Jewish and democratic state,” Shapiro
resurgent right-wing nationalism, and that Israel is on said. “Today, as a wave of illiberalism challenges the dem-
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Dismissing claims of Israeli necessity, Shapiro said
that Netanyahu should resist following Trump’s lead.
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Jewish World

Sandi M. Malkin, LL C
Interior Designer
(former interior designer of model
Needless to say, Netanyahu rooms for NY’s #1 Dept. Store)
has pointedly refrained from
criticizing Trump for any of For a totally new look using
his questionable statements your furniture or starting anew.
on racists and Jews, including Staging also available
his post-Charlottesville 973-535-9192
equation of neo-Nazis with
anti-racist demonstrators.

“Both strive for ethnocentric illiberal- said. “Despite obvious disagreements

ism,” he wrote. “Both share a disdain for relating to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict,
liberal values, especially those admired Netanyahu’s recent tour to Germany, Brit-
and cultivated by the vast majority of ain, and particularly to France reflects
American Jews. Both agitate against the importance he attaches to their posi-
immigrants. Both are sworn enemies of tions towards Israel’s security concerns.”
the free press. Both feel an affinity with Elliot Abrams, senior fellow for Middle
Russian strongman Vladimir Putin and Eastern studies at the Council on For-
both have tied their country’s fates to eign Relations, pushed back against the
Donald Trump. insinuation that Netanyahu is pursuing
“Needless to say, Netanyahu has point- an authoritarian charm offensive, inten-
edly refrained from criticizing Trump tionally and specifically courting author-
for any of his questionable statements itarians in the pursuit of a new sphere
on racists and Jews, including his post- of alliances. Instead, Abrams suggested,
Charlottesville equation of neo-Nazis Israel is intent on — and increasingly
with anti-racist demonstrators.” successful in — cultivating allies where it
Schanzer disputes such insinua- can, even among unsavory regimes.
tions, heard often on the Israeli left, “Israel remains isolated by many of its
that Netanyahu feels a personal affin- neighbors in the Middle East and is the
ity for far-right regimes. Schanzer notes subject of endless attacks in every U.N.
the Jewish state’s history of forming agency,” Abrams said. “Moreover, it is
self-interested relations with unpalat- the target of a well-financed BDS move-
able regimes. ment, especially in Europe. It has been
“The outreach to the African nations the goal of every Israeli government to
is a good example of how none of this is break the isolation, and Netanyahu has
new,” he said. “In the early years after had more success than any predecessor.”
the founding of the state, Israeli diplo- Abrams lauded Netanyahu’s ability to
mats labored to reach out to the African manage simultaneous relationships with
states. Israel took Africa for granted. the United States and Russia, as well as
Now Netanyahu has rekindled some of China and India, the latter of which
those relationships. So, no, I don’t think he calls “the world’s most populous
this is Netanyahu specific.” democracy,” although writers in Foreign
Tsilla Hershco, a senior research asso- Affairs, the New Yorker and The Econo-
ciate at Bar-Ilan University’s Begin-Sadat mist have criticized Indian Prime Minis-
Center for Strategic Studies, says that ter Narendra Modi’s recent “authoritar-
Netanyahu’s critics are setting up a false ian streak.”
choice between authoritarian and dem- “In my view, Netanyahu’s success-
ocratic regimes. ful effort to improve Israel’s global ties
“Netanyahu is pursuing legitimate should not be criticized as an ‘authori-
objectives of expanding support in tarian charm offensive,’” Abrams said.
Europe and elsewhere for Israel’s posi- “Yes, Orban visits, but so does Modi.”
tion on vital security issues,” Herscho  JTA WIRE SERVICE

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Fireflies and
Truth regardless of consequences

How porn insults women

everyday magic and damages relationships
ast Shabbat, one of my rabbis addressed the pervasive
unease that seems to infect just about everyone we ast month I published a new book called Second, porn is inherently boring and slowly
know. The feeling of not-quite-rightness, of doubt, even “Lust for Love,” co-authored with the teaches men to be desensitized to the female body.
of fear, that haunts so many of us. It’s not just about actress Pamela Anderson. The media Why else do you think that the way porn operates is
politics, although of course it’s also about politics. It’s about the commented on the strange pairing of an to show men one image they click on, only to have
profoundly unsettling feeling that comes from realizing that solid international sex symbol with an author and activist. tons of other images appear immediately? (Again,
ground is not solid, that things we thought we knew are not true, But Pamela is much more than just an author and I have only heard these reports from friends.) The
probably weren’t true all along, and that as impossible as it ever is activist. She is a woman dedicated to help rescuing revelatory nature of porn quickly overexposes men
to predict the future, now we can’t even pretend to know. marriages and relationships and especially salvag- to the female body, thereby having the curious effect
It’s remarkably unsettling. ing men from the ravaging effects of porn. of demagnetizing the body and leading to decreased
Take care of yourself, he said. Each one of you should take care Our collaboration in this book project began attraction. Porn then becomes like an entry drug,
of yourself. Do whatever social advocacy or social justice work with a joint op-ed about the harmful effects of say, marijuana, where the hit quickly dissipates and
you feel impelled to do, but also take care of yourself. pornography. Our objections were not based on ever-stronger hits are required. Hence the quick
It sounded awfully pabulum-y, but still it stuck with me, religion but on our joint desire to heal marriages. graduation from so-called soft porn to hardcore
because he was right. Many people criticized Pamela as being hypocriti- porn, and to pornographic addiction where men are
It’s been very hot this week. That’s a change (and unsettling in cal, since she has appeared on more prepared to destroy careers, lives, and
itself, even though we know that of course seasons change, and Playboy covers that any other model relationships in pursuit of a fraudulent
it’s been so cool and so wet for so long that some ridiculously (or so my friends tell me). Pamela fix that never can be satisfied fully.
steamy heat had to be coming). responded that Playboy is not porn I once debated Larry Flynt, the head
I take care of myself by walking, so I did. but art. I respectfully disagree. But of Hustler, in front of thousands of
I’ve been taking my dogs out at twilight, when the colors at least we both agree that hardcore people in Los Angeles. My close friend
change and the close humid sky gets more velvety and the shad- porn, especially as found on the inter- Roseanne Barr was the moderator.
ows not only lengthen but get very fuzzy around their edges. net, is soul-destroying for men. Over the past few weeks Roseanne and
And as I’ve walked — in the city, in the suburbs, in parks, wher- Here’s why. I have been in the news for the pod-
ever there are cement-free patches of ground — I’ve seen tiny flick- First, porn teaches men to see casts we’ve recorded where she has
ers of light. women as a means rather than an end. Rabbi emotionally and profusely apologized
Fireflies. Men who consume large quantities of Shmuley for her tweet about Valerie Jarrett. On
When they’re not lighting up, they’re hideous, grotesque bugs. porn are trained to look at a woman Boteach that evening, I told Larry that he was
But when you walk at dusk, and you start to see little flashes of and not see their equal but rather proof positive of just how boring porn
colored light, and at first you think it’s your eyes, and then you the walking fulfillment of male desire. was. Because if a naked woman actu-
think great, now I’m hallucinating, and then you start to see more While pornography and the evils of slavery are in ally was endlessly exciting to men, then a smart
and more of them, little bursts of light that never seen to illumi- no way comparable, there is a similarity in that the businessman like Flynt would pay one woman to be
nate when you’re looking directly at them, but always go off just abomination of slavery lay in the gradual training of Miss January through December instead of having to
to the side of your field of vision, until the patch of grass is spar- white men and women to look at their black coun- waste money hiring 11 other women.
kling with lights, little miniature Fourth of July skies come to earth. terparts and see not a fellow human but a walk- But overexposure breeds boredom bordering on
I don’t know why that happens. It must have something to do ing bale of cotton. Whites were conditioned to see contempt. Porn works only in quantity and never
with the heat and the moisture, although I am profoundly not a blacks not as equals, possessed of personal dreams individually.
scientist, so I have no idea how it works. and ambitions, but rather as a means to their work Which leads us to the boredom that porn brings
I also know that it must be a metaphor, and the obvious ones ends. The great German philosopher Immanuel to a marriage. How is a wife — however attractive —
are, well, obvious, and who wants that? But to stand there in the Kant called this way of life, treating humans as a meant to compete? Which explains why Judaism is
growing dark, watching these lights burst into being and glow and means rather than an end, as the ultimate form of so insistent on modesty even within marriage. In
move and then extinguish, seeing more and more of them as your immorality. Jewish law a husband and wife wear pajamas, lin-
eyes and your spirit adjust yourself to them — it’s magic. By the same token, while it does not involve an gerie, bathrobes, etc., rather than parading around
Just plain magic. inherent moral abomination like selling God’s chil- the bedroom naked. The erotic obstacle of clothing
I am not suggesting that regular old fireflies, and the everyday dren on the block, porn similarly conditions men actually makes the body more, not less, electrifying.
magic they perform at dusk on hot summer nights, will help us to see women as a means to an end. No wonder, In “Lust for Love,” Pamela and I discuss the three
heal the divisions we face, both as Americans and as Jews. That then, that we are witnessing a deterioration of male secrets of erotic desire, namely, unavailability, mys-
would be far too easy. respect for women, just as porn has come to satu- tery, and sinfulness. Lust is increased through frus-
But I do think that there is everyday magic all around us, and rate our society. trated desire, something that pornography entirely
getting the chance to see it, being able to stand at the edge of a
field of fireflies, is healing. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is the author of 32 books, including “Lust for Love,” co-written with Pamela Anderson.
I hope that each one of us gets to see fireflies dance. —JP Follow him on Twitter @RabbiShmuley.

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20 Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018


lacks. The two week of prohibited sexual relations

in the Jewish marriage actually serves as a catalyst Independence Day

for desire.
Heinz Ketchup is essentially tomato sauce. But e always arrive just before sunset.
they make it pasty just to ensure that you wait. The streets are blocked off by police
Remember the commercials? “Anticipation…”. Porn, cars, the red and blue rollers producing
with its instant gratification, paradoxically makes sex their own light show. People in shorts
a complete bore. and t-shirts and flip-flops saunter down the patchwork of
Which leads me to an essential point. Men who are streets that filter into the park. Strings of party lights criss-
y porn addicts are fundamentally bad lovers. For sex cross decks and backyards, music shifting like stations on
. to truly be exciting it requires novelty. Married cou- a radio as we pass each home. People carry folding chairs
ples find novelty in new adventures together, going out to their front yards, or to the strip of grass by the curb,
vertically — deeper and deeper into the human per- bantering with their neighbors while they wait for the sun
, sonality — in order to find newness. But porn addicts to go down.
simply look at new bodies. They discover the same There is already a crowd at the park, but there’s nothing
old boring porn routine — not to mention the same to worry about, the field is wide, room enough for every-
t sexual positions — played out by new actors. (This, one. We choose a spot, unfold our chairs, and settle in. A
too, my friends have told me.) They are not chal- Sousa march drifts towards us from somewhere. By this
, lenged to discover vertical renewal, substituting it time, the sky is deepening from aqua to Prussian blue, the (The State Department rejected her family’s immigra-
instead for horizontal renewal, the lazy man’s solu- air heavy and warm. Swallows and cicadas streak over our tion applications again and again. My grandfather was
k tion to the problem of sexual boredom. As such, they heads. Barefoot children, too excited to sit, run in circles a leather craftsman, my grandmother was in business.
become fundamentally bad lovers. over the grass. Kids wearing glow stick necklaces whirl Okay, okay, so her business was trading on the black
Which leads to my conclusion. Men are not sup- toys that light up in all the colors of the rainbow. market. You do what you gotta do.) Having been exposed
posed to be experts in the female body, just as Finally, the blue fades to black. Somewhere to the best and the worst people can be,
t women are not meant to be experts in the male body. in the dark, we hear the pop pop pop of far- she had a surprisingly liberal outlook on
Rather, upon exposure to the body of the opposite away fireworks. The towns around us already almost everything. She befriended all kinds
have begun. Without warning, a rocket zings of people from all walks of life. She learned
f overhead, leaving a trail of fizzy sparks, and how to cook tuna noodle casserole, chow
just when I think it’s a dud, it bursts like an mein, and meat loaf, drove carpools, built
. artillery shell, illuminating the sky with a snowmen, and drilled us on our multipli-
Overexposure shower of golden glitter. cation tables. Though English was not her
- breeds boredom The first fireworks I ever saw were first (or second) language, she volunteered

bordering on glimpsed from the windows of my parents’

bedroom. Bang, bang, bang, BANG!! Like the Helen
for the PTA and registered her children for
swimming and ceramics, Girl Scouts and
contempt. Porn loudest thunder I’d ever heard. Terrified, I Maryles summer camps and sports teams.
ran back to my room and buried my head Shankman Having escaped violent, repressive, mur-
works only in under my pillow. It sounded like war. derous regimes, my parents embraced the
- quantity and never As a little girl, war was very much on my dream that is America. They worked hard,
t mind. My parents were Holocaust survivors from Poland. paid taxes, bought a house, cheered on their kids at base-
individually. Visiting my mother’s family in Canada, the grownups ball and basketball games, voted in every election, knew
talked about The War while we waited for someone to take their local alderman by name.
sex there is supposed to be an instinctual, electri- us to an amusement park. Night after night, news stations Though neither of my parents received so much as a
fying response that draws us closer to our spouse, reported on the war in Viet Nam, and in the morning, the sixth grade education, they saw to it that my siblings and
r allowing us to fulfill the beautiful biblical mandate newspaper on the table reported it some more. Posters I all graduated college. One brother is a doctor, my sister
of being “bone of one bone and flesh of one flesh.” declared that War was not healthy for children and other is an executive at a television network, my older brother
But porn addicts, who ingest thousands of living things. Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy were works in the restaurant business, and I write and teach
— images of the female body, become objective rather assassinated. Riots broke out on the West Side, with fires art. We are loyal and committed Americans. None of us
than subjective about a woman’s body. They lose consuming entire city blocks. At the Democratic National has joined a gang, turned to crime, or is dependent on
the capacity to have their emotions, especially love, Convention, protesters clashed with police. A couple of government handouts.
- impact their attraction. And they gradually lose years later came the Yom Kippur War. War seemed to be I don’t know exactly what I’m going for here, as the
the ability to be excited by their spouse’s body and the natural state of things. celebration of our country’s independence takes place
marital sex. All of which is, of course, tragic to the Having experienced the horror and chaos of World War amid talk of border walls, turning immigrants into crimi-
. marital bond. II Poland, my dad loved freedom and democracy like only nals, separating children from their parents, misplacing
That’s why it’s time for men in general and hus- someone who has been denied them can. My father and some of those children in the system, and denying entry
- bands in particular to take the pledge: No more porn. his family were rejected by the U.S. consulate two or three to desperate people who are fleeing for their lives. Maybe
- Find the erotic excitement you crave in fulfilling and times. Permission was granted only when American cous- I just want to celebrate one immigrant family’s love for the
y lasting marital relationships rather than a pursuit ins took responsibility for them. country that took them in.
that is fundamentally dehumanizing to women and After Dad spent a couple of years in a Brooklyn Above my head, rockets explode into violet hearts,
deeply disrespectful to your wife. yeshiva, my grandfather told him it was time to get a yellow smiley faces, a bouquet of shimmering red and
job. Dad’s dream was to become a watchmaker. He gold and green chrysanthemums. As if we had prac-
would land a new job every Monday and get fired every ticed in advance, the crowd in the park says “oooh” and
Friday, after telling his new boss that as an observant “ahhh,” in unison. Sparks gush up from the horizon like
Jew, he couldn’t work on Saturdays. The only employer a fountain made of fire. Gold streamers arc down from
who would tolerate his Sabbath observance was a dental the heavens. Red, white and blue lights hold their spi-
The opinions expressed in this section are those of the technician — so Dad became a dental technician. Soon dery shapes for the space of a heartbeat, then float to
authors, not necessarily those of after, he was drafted into the American army, where he earth like stardust.
the newspaper’s editors, publishers, or other staffers. spent two years making dentures for Uncle Sam. Talk
about total immersion! Every young man from a foreign Helen Maryles Shankman of Teaneck is an artist
We welcome letters to the editor.
country should serve for a year or two. It’s a very effi- and writer. Her work appears in many fine journals,
Send them to
cient way to absorb American culture. including The Kenyon Review, Gargoyle, Jewishfiction.
Mom arrived 10 years later, after spending a decade net, and Cream City Review. Scribner recently published
in a DP camp in Germany and two years in Montreal. her second novel, “In The Land of Armadillos.”

Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018 21


End the stigma around mental illness

octors often say that high blood mental health challenge. These illnesses do was suffering from depression and could not get out of bed,
pressure is the silent killer. Sadly, not discriminate between religion, color, or from OCD, or was hoarding, or perhaps was unable to leave
I think a new illness has claimed sex, or race. Depression is the most notable the house because she needed to have exactly 14 steps to get
that moniker — mental illness. of those conditions, but I have seen my share to the front door and she could not seem to get the cadence
Robin Williams hanged himself, and then of paranoia, obsessive compulsive disorder, for that exact walk down. Or if she were afraid to go out of the
Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain commit- anxiety, and bipolar disorder. All of them are house for paralyzing fear. Would we respond in the same way?
ted suicide in the same week, proving that rampant in communities like ours. The differ- Are we still whispering the names of these conditions, and
depression is not limited to the underprivi- ence between these illnesses, and say, cancer, keeping a distance as if they were contagious?
leged and that mental illness is as indiscrimi- is that we still seem to whisper when someone We build walls around mental illnesses to keep ourselves
nating as the weather. Rabbi is suffering from mental illness disorders. We away from them, out of fear of catching it or simply of being
My brother committed suicide, which David-Seth cover them up for fear of being outed. We are near it. That only makes the disease more acute for the
makes me all too familiar with the unending Kirshner petrified that we will be stigmatized as crazy afflicted, and creates a vicious downward spiral for those
wake of pain, hurt, questions, and what-ifs and we will be only a step away from having working toward healing.
that survivors are left with after the irrevocable Nurse Ratchet overseeing our daily activities. Judaism is not immune to suicide. Six biblical characters
deed is done. Nothing good comes from taking your own With cancer, though, we feel empathy in a different form, take their own lives, some from despair, others from sad-
life. Perhaps we can hope that the afflicted are free from the and respond in a more hands-on manner. ness. Whether it is Abimelech, Samson, Saul, Ahitophel, or
burdens, struggles, and challenges that are invisible to us A member of our community recently was diagnosed Zimri, we know that this epidemic is not new. It is high time
but inescapable for them. with breast cancer. Our community jumped into action. for us as a Jewish community to address this topic. The rab-
Still, suicide leaves more questions than answers, more Some volunteered to help with her kids’ carpools, another bis of all denominations even stopped burying the victims of
pain then relief, and more tears, and those tears do not was deputized with shopping and household errands, while suicide in separate parts of the cemetery, claiming that such
diminish with time. a Google sign-up sheet was created to keep straight who will a death is a result of an illness.
If anything positive can come from these deaths of well- keep her company during chemo treatments and who will Now it is time to go further.
known personalities, I pray that it will shine a light on the organize meals and delivery of said meals for her family. As In order to bring more hope to the afflicted and to curb the
serious nature of mental illness and how pervasive it is in a rabbi, it made me proud to see our synagogue commu- prevalence of suicide, we need to adjust how our communi-
our society. nity respond without missing a beat. It was beautiful, empa- ties deal with mental illness. I suggest the following steps:
As a congregational rabbi with a unique peephole into thetic, humane, and the core of what we do as a place of • Don’t whisper about mental illness. The strides the LGBTQ
people’s families and lives, I can claim with certainty that worship and as a people. community achieved came as a result of people being bold
almost every family has someone who is suffering from a I wonder, though, if the same person were to say that she enough to come out and share their identities and story. We

Justice Kennedy and a kosher court

ollowing Justice Kennedy’s retire- while too many otherwise liberal Jews seek drugs. The Greens argued that providing such insurance
ment from the Supreme Court, the domination. would violate their religious liberty, and therefore they
continued viability of Roe v. Wade Americans seeking traditional religious lib- requested a religious liberty-based exemption.
has dominated the headlines. Amer- erty exemptions do not wish to impose their The Greens did not argue that abortion-inducing drugs
ican Jews are overwhelmingly pro-choice, and views on their neighbors. Religious liberty should be outlawed, that their employees should be pro-
many if not most want the courts to uphold a protections allow for the creation of a neu- hibited from buying such drugs, or that the government
constitutional right to abortion under nearly tral space, one in which citizens with differ- could not require other employers to purchase such insur-
any circumstance. ing viewpoints can coexist without trampling ance. The Greens made a much more modest claim: they
In what should amount to a surprising twist, on each other’s beliefs. Laws like the Religious should not be required to participate in a process that they
some have argued that overturning Roe would Mitchell Freedom Restoration Act merely state that considered sinful.
threaten Jews’ religious freedom. Rocklin whenever possible, the government must The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby, find-
Their argument goes like this: In some cir- exempt religious adherents from laws that ing that the government had not proven that exempting
cumstances — namely when the life or health conflict with their sincerely held beliefs. employers with sincere religious objections would prevent
of the mother is in danger — Jewish law may Exemptions are not mandatory or auto- it from achieving its goal: ensuring that women had access
permit or even require a mother to procure an matic; if a religious exemption would prevent to the drugs in question. The law continued to apply to
abortion. Thus, bans on abortion could, in the- the government from accomplishing a com- the vast majority of Americans, and the government was
ory, prevent women from terminating a preg- pelling mission, then no exemption is granted. free to fill the gaps through other methods. The court con-
nancy in a case where their religion obligated Religious liberty laws do not prohibit the gov- cluded that since both the Greens and their employees
them to do so. Let’s ignore for a moment the ernment from enforcing a law against most could be protected, an exemption was appropriate.
fact that the overwhelming majority of abor- Americans; they simply require exemptions The same is true for a long list of other individuals who
tions are not performed to save a mother’s in cases where the law would put an intoler- have brought traditional religious liberty claims. People
life, and that any abortion regulation would Howard able and unnecessary burden on religious like Native American feather dancers who want access to
include an exception for such cases. Instead, Slugh people. For instance, prisons are not required eagle feathers, Amish people who want to homeschool
let’s focus on the ways in which this argument to accommodate religious practices if doing their children, Muslims who want access to halal food in
stems from a distorted understanding of reli- so would be unsafe for inmates. If the govern- prison, and Sikhs who want to wear turbans in the mili-
gious freedom. ment can both achieve its goals and protect Americans’ con- tary are not trying to impose their faith on anyone. All of
The irony of this particular pro-choice argument is that science rights, then it must do so. In a very real sense, then, them merely are trying to observe their religions in peace.
liberal Jews are advancing it even as they are quick to religious liberty laws protect pluralism and demonstrate a This brings us back to abortion. Too many Jewish pro-
accuse traditional proponents of religious liberty of live-and-let-live attitude. choicers have, on the other hand, demanded a blanket
seeking to impose their religious views on America. In The Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby case illustrates this constitutional right to abortion in virtually all circum-
truth, traditional proponents just want to be left alone. It principle. The plaintiff, an arts and crafts store named stances. They insist upon such a permissive abortion
has been secularist Jewish organizations that have joined Hobby Lobby, which is privately owned by the Green family, regime because, in some circumstances, Jewish law
non-Jewish colleagues in seeking the hegemony of their sought an exemption from a regulation requiring employ- may permit or require a mother to procure an abortion.
moral values. Traditionalists request accommodation, ers to provide health insurance covering abortion-inducing But they are not arguing that they would need specific

22 Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018


have embraced breast cancer patients with pink hamburger?” Being present will not cure mental
ribbons, annual walks, and a month of pink end- illness any more than carpools cure cancer. But
zones in the NFL. So too do we have to come out your presence and support matter.
about mental illness and embrace those who are • Know the numbers. We are not miracle work-
stricken. Drawing near to those with health chal- ers or magicians. We cannot make the disease
lenges and making Google spreadsheets for meals go away, but we can help. Sometimes, the illness
and carpools are no less important for the person needs more resources then a Google spreadsheet
suffering from depression as it is for the person can offer. Know the numbers of suicide preven-
receiving chemo. Sicknesses might present differ- tion hotlines. Keep the numbers of accredited
ently, but being ill takes all of us off our game. We psychiatrists close, to be able to offer the support
all can benefit from help. That comes from being that is beyond our grade of expertise. Do not try
able to say in a full-throated way that we are sick, to wear a cape or offer simple solutions and solve
battling a mental illness, and need help, or that we the problem.
are helping someone with a mental illness. I would do almost anything for another day with
• Mental illness needs a ribbon too. I am not sure my brother. I cannot bring him back. I can do my
what colors are available. Orange is for gun con- part, however, to ensure that others do not have
trol, purple is sexual abuse awareness, and yellow to suffer the pain I live with daily. This starts with
is for our soldiers and those who are MIA. Perhaps recognizing the affliction and being supportive any A boy from Honduras is shown being taken into custody by U.S.
gray, but the color really does not matter as much way we can. Border Patrol agents near the U.S.-Mexico border near Mission,
as being able to wear our awareness on our pro- Try these small steps. Make your life and our Texas, on June 12, 2018.  John Moore/Getty Images

verbial sleeve. Let’s talk about it more freely, and world a place where all can feel it is worth living
create awareness and support.
• Mental illness is not contagious. We have to
in. Together, we can support those with a men-
tal health affliction and bring more awareness to A history of
stop treating it like the cooties. Do not be afraid to
help those in need, get close to them, and be the
those in need.
Let us act before it is too late. our border crisis

support they desperately require and will benefit
from in this time of need. Equally important, do David-Seth Kirshner is senior rabbi of Temple he separation of chil- bond to secure their release.
not wait to be asked to help. Be proactive. Sheryl Emanu-El of Closter, immediate past president dren from their parents Around the same time, the Clin-
Sandberg says that the best support she received of the New York Board of Rabbis, and the at our border has a long ton administration reached the
after her husband’s sudden death was someone president of the North Jersey Board of Rabbis. and nebulous history. now-famous Flores agreement in
asking her, “what do you NOT want on your What makes the situation so con- a lawsuit with plaintiffs who chal-
fusing is that it doesn’t involve any lenged the legacy-INS’s child deten-
single law so much tion policies. The
as a series of inter- terms of the Flores
related laws, judicial agreement became
decisions, and policy nationwide policy. It
religious liberty-based exemptions from an pregnancy centers into advertising for state-sub- changes over 20 years mandated the trans-
abortion ban. Nor are they arguing that a state sidized abortions; and a cake artist into custom- or so concerning the fer of unaccompa-
may achieve its goal of protecting the life of the izing a celebratory wedding cake for a same-sex admission and deten- nied minors from
unborn, so long as it does not unnecessarily wedding despite his conscientious objections. tion of asylum seekers Customs and Border
infringe on their religious beliefs. Quite the con- These religious individuals were not discrimi- at the U.S. border. Protection to Health
trary. They are arguing that the Supreme Court nating against anyone nor interfering with any- The story begins and Human Services
should maintain that all Americans have a right one’s ability to procure goods or services, which in 1996 with the pas- Michael J. within 72 hours and it
to abortion to prevent the remote possibility were readily available from other sources. But sage of the last major Wildes set limits on how long
that laws prohibiting abortion might, occasion- this was not good enough. Supposedly tolerant immigration law, the such children may
ally, interfere with their religious beliefs. organizations insisted that these conscientious Illegal Immigration remain in jail — usu-
This maximalist argument is a distorted fun- objectors participate in a secular agenda or be Reform and Immigrant Respon- ally 20 days.
house mirror version of that made by traditional crushed by the law. sibility Act (IIRIRA, pronounced Despite the humane treatment
religious liberty proponents. Whereas the tra- As we debate the next Supreme Court nomi- “Ira-Ira”), which created two sets the Flores agreement afforded to
ditionalists ask for an exception and peaceful nee and consider how American law ought to of rules concerning the detention minors, the overwhelming majority
coexistence, some otherwise liberal Americans protect religious liberty, we ought to pursue two of those seeking asylum. The first of immigrants at the time could not
demand that the entire country be governed broad and interrelated goals. First, when pos- set of rules governs the detention avail themselves of its terms. Most
by their religious dictates, with no exceptions sible, American law should accommodate those of so-called arriving aliens, non- border-crossers in the 1990s were
allowed. This despite the United States being an who wish to practice their religion. Second, citizens who present themselves at adult males seeking U.S. employ-
outlier in allowing for abortions in virtually all we should attempt to build a society in which a U.S. port of entry. If they pass a ment so they could send money
cases, including, for instance, those involving Americans of all types can live in harmony. credible fear test — that is, a series back to their families. Compared
horrific pain to unborn babies. This includes promoting a healthy democ- of questions testing whether they to today, very few people brought
Ironically, the very same Jewish organiza- racy by allowing perfectly reasonable debates meet the basic eligibility require- their children. That was due in part
tions demanding that the law follow their reli- about changes to our abortion laws that would, ments for asylum, such as a fear to the dangerous conditions at the
gious views on abortion have accused tradi- if anything, bring them more in line with those of returning — then arriving aliens U.S.-Mexico border.
tional proponents of religious liberty of wanting in other Western nations. are provided a hearing before an Most of these policies remained
to impose their religious views on the nation. immigration judge. Importantly, relatively static during President
Sadly, groups like the American Jewish Commit- Rabbi Mitchell Rocklin is a resident research they are not eligible for release on Bush’s administration, save for
tee and the Anti-Defamation League side with fellow at the Tikvah Fund. He is also a chaplain bond, however, even by an immi- the 2008 reauthorization of the
those whose policies would rob Jews of the abil- with the rank of captain in the New Jersey Army gration judge. Trafficking Victims Protection Act
ity to practice their faith freely should it fall out National Guard and a doctoral candidate in U.S. Different rules apply to aliens (TVPA). One of its key provisions
of favor with the mainstream. history at the City University of New York. He apprehended farther than 100 included streamlining the rules for
It is these opponents of religious liberty who lives in Teaneck with his wife and two daughters. miles from the border or within the obtaining permanent residency
have tried to impose their views on America. interior of the country. Like arriv- for children whom a family court
They have tried to coerce: Catholic nuns and Howard Slugh is the general counsel of the Jewish ing aliens, these people also are judge has deemed abandoned,
evangelical pharmacists into providing abor- Coalition for Religious Liberty, as well as an provided a hearing before a judge, the so-called “Special Immigrant
tion-inducing drugs; religiously affiliated crisis attorney practicing law in Washington, DC. but unlike them, they can request See Border page 32

Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018 23


Ani ledodi v’dodi li

ince my retirement (It’s not an ugly up somewhat on uncompleted New York
word, Ernest, despite your letter of Times crossword puzzles; and starting to go
1/5/18), the two most frequent ques- to morning minyan twice a week in addition
tions I’ve been asked are (a) are you to Shabbat and yom tov (I know, I know, it’s
enjoying it and (b) what are you doing with no big deal but it’s better than my previous
yourself? no times a week).
While the answer to the first is short and And, oh yes, actively participating in the
sweet (absolutely!!), the answer to the sec- preparation for my daughter Gabrielle’s wed-
ond is a bit lengthier. ding to Allen Glenn, which took place two
What I’ve done so far during this suppos- Joseph C. weeks ago.
edly initial decompression period includes Kaplan I always thought I had participated actively
(and this is only a partial list): joining a gym in the preparation for my daughter Raquel’s
with my wife (and actually using it), trying wedding almost 14 years ago. I now realize,
hard to do my daily 10,000 steps (record to date is 18,988 however, that as a busy practicing lawyer I didn’t really
— if I’d known I was so close I would have made sure to understand what was encompassed by preparation. Now
do 12 more), and participating in the men’s weekly physi- — after attending every (yes, every!) meeting or visit with
cal fitness class at Teaneck’s Rodda Senior Center; taking every potential (and then actual) caterer, wedding venue,
online courses at the Tikvah Fund with Meir Soloveitchik florist, and printer; after driving to Brooklyn more times
(“Jewish Ideas and the American Founders” — quite good in the past six months than in the past 16 years; after being
though I had expected even better) and at the Harvard the designated driver for many mother-of-the-bride gown
Extension School (“World War II and Society in the 20th shopping trips and all bridal gown and mother-of-the-
Century”), attending a number of excellent daytime pre- bride gown fittings in Manhattan and Brooklyn (some-
sentations at Lamdeinu (and I plan to continue to fre- body had to sit waiting in the car since legal spots are so
quent this worthwhile Teaneck program), and continuing hard to find and parking garages are prohibitively expen-
to look for a daytime shiur/class that meets my interests sive in New York City); after visiting more gemachs than
(unfortunately, I didn’t meet certain basic requirements I knew existed, covering everything anyone might need
to join Rabbi Adler’s Women’s Humash class); listening to for a wedding from blusher veils (yeah, I never heard of
numerous audiobooks (usually while walking or exercis- them either) to hair combs to wedding shtick for danc-
ing and thus getting double my money’s worth, or, if you ing to Sheva Brachot flowers; after reviewing, and often Joseph Kaplan and his daughter Gabrielle dance to
consider I listen at double speed, quadruple); catching See Ani ledodi page 36 what the family calls the Rainbow Song.

Don’t compare immigrant compare the atrocities committed to the Jews then with Prouser’s right about Sessions
separations to the Holocaust the current events? Rabbi Joseph Prouser, a serious student of American his-
I am writing in response to recent comparisons made in By doing so not only are these media outlets minimiz- tory, has hit one out of the park in his piece about Attor-
many media outlets between the immigration crisis and ing and belittling Nazi atrocities, they are sending a mes- ney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions (“Biblical ref-
the Holocaust. I sympathize with the separation of the sage to the world that our country is guilty of annihilating erence by Sessions is malign in every respect,” June 29).
children from their mothers and agree that measures innocent men, women, and children for no reason, as the Rabbi Prouser points out the basis of our Founding
should be taken by both parties to ensure a resolution as Nazis did. If only the men, women, and children of the Fathers’ view of the Bible — one that is counter to Ses-
quickly as possible. Holocaust would have received the same treatment as cur- sions’ interpretation. America, at its beginning, was right
However what these media outlets are doing is ethically rent illegal immigrants and children. in sync with the distrust of absolute monarchy reflected
and morally wrong. They are comparing the current immi- My parents are alive and fully aware of the immigration in the Israelite experience. From Samuel on down, the
gration crisis to the Holocaust . As the daughter and grand- issues . My father just turned 90 and my mother is 84. king was always to be regarded with suspicion.
daughter of Holocaust victims and survivors from Buchen- Both are very independent and active members in their Selective citing of biblical references is nothing new.
wald and Auschwitz I am outraged. The illegal immigrants community in Queens. They are also outraged. They have In fact, it is endemic not only in America, but also
and their families were not forcibly thrown out of their to live with the horrible memories of the atrocities from among Islamic jihadists who cite sections of the Koran
homes by the United States, placed in cramped cattle cars 1939 through 1945, when they were liberated. Their par- to justify their violence and terrorism. So AG Sessions
without food and water, and sent to fake showers, real gas ents were murdered in front of their eyes. Their brothers, finds himself in some odd company.
chambers, and ovens to be cremated. Many during the sisters, cousins were sent to gas chambers. The majority I too wish to contribute a biblical citation. In last
Holocaust were separated from their parents to be exter- of our family in Poland was wiped off the face of the earth week’s Haftarah portion, the words of Micah were read.
minated. While the conditions in the detention centers are by the Nazi atrocities. They were not buried. They were He was one of the 12 minor prophets. The reading con-
not idea , I am sure they are far better than those offered cremated. How do you think they feel? cludes with a famous statement on morality and God
to the children in the concentration camps in Europe dur- The journalists and those guilty of making these com- (Micah 6:8): “It has been told you, O man, what is good,
ing WWII, when six million Jews were murdered, extermi- parisons owe an apology to every Holocaust survivor as and what the Lord requires of you/Only to do justice,
nated for no reason other than being Jewish. well as to every mother, father, and child brutally mur- And to love goodness, And to walk humbly with your
The Jews did not voluntarily run to these concentra- dered by the Nazis. Shame on them for comparing the God.”
tion camps. There were no classes, movies, or doctors, atrocities committed by the Nazis with the current politi- If Jeff Sessions and his boss would like some different
not enough food or water for those who were kept alive cal situation of the illegal immigrants and children. bedtime reading, I suggest that the Prophet Micah would
in the camps. What about all the photos the liberat- If you don’t agree with the policies find some other way be a good place to start.
ing armies took of the survivors and how they looked to protest and stop making this irrational analogy. Eric Weis
in the concentration camps? What about the piles of Dr. Renee Reifer Fishweicher Wayne
corpses stacked on top of each other? How could anyone Fair Lawn See Letters page 36

24 Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018

Keeping Kosher

Englewood ShopRite remodels

ShopRite of Englewood has unveiled its renovated and larger, customer friendly checkout area. Shop-
modernized store, featuring a new full-service kosher Rite customers will also find a variety of new beer,
marketplace. Visitors to the store, at 40 Nathaniel Place wine, and liquor at the ShopRite of Englewood’s
— Palisades Court will find a brand new expanded Wine & Spirits Store.
store, offering a large selection of organic, local, and “We are really excited to introduce our remodeled
gluten-free foods and products that reflect a variety of store — equipped with great new hot and cold food
cultures. Stop by the store to meet Craig Solomon, the options including kosher, as well as an all new modern
chef at ShopRite’s Kosher Marketplace. look — to our loyal associates and customers,” said
Featured are OU supervised kosher seafood, deli, hot Terry Glass, co-CEO of Glass Gardens, Inc., a family
and cold prepared foods, and meat department. There owned business that operates 11 ShopRite stores in New
is also kosher cut fruit, vegetables, dried fruit, and nuts Jersey and New York. “We thank our shoppers for their
and more kosher bakery items. New kosher grocery patience during this major renovation, which added
items were added to aisle 10, and in the kosher frozen more than 20,000 square feet and really enhances
doors in aisle 16, and kosher dairy doors in aisle 17. the shopping experience and value equation at the
There is a newly paved and expanded parking lot ShopRite of Englewood.” The new kosher market place at the Englewood ShopRite

Cedar Market is your summer shopping destination

Think of Cedar Market in Teaneck as your barbecue and seasoned veggies and kabobs. Add a custom cake; the
celebration go-to store. Add some flavor to summer barbe- bakery can make just about any cake you can imagine.
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Kosher Market
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Meats ✡ Chicken ✡ Deli ✡ Appetizing
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Check out the locally grown fresh produce, fruit, sushi, Cedar Market is at 646 Cedar Lane in Teaneck. For more
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ket for all your barbecue needs, including grill-ready, or go to


July is national grilling month
# New Jersey
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ing and summer go together like hot parsley + kosher salt • Clean your grill and trays
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dogs and mustard.. 4. Diced raw onion + teriyaki sauce regularly to avoid flare-ups from fair lawn, nj 07410
201 796-6565 tel
“We love the relaxed vibe of sum- + dried mushroom powder (or if grease or fat. 201 796-8501 fax
mer that just makes everything seem you’re not a purist, mushroom • Never use propane or charcoal
easier,” said cookbook author Chanie soup mix) grills indoors.
Nayman, editor in chief of Kosher. 5. Crispy beef fry + sautéed onions + • Keep your grill away from the
com. “Nobody wants to fuss much hefty pinch of Trader Joe’s coffee house, deck, and shrubs.
— especially in the kitchen. Anyone rub • Keep decorations away from grill.
can and should make the most of bar- 6. Generous squeeze of sriracha + • Prevent food poisoning from BAKERY CHALLAH
6 Time Winner 8 Time Winner
becue season, no matter what their sprinkle of dried ginger + dollop cross-contamination. Use
level of culinary expertise may be.”
It’s all about the burger. Case in
of Bone Suckin Sauce

separate plates and utensils for
cooked and uncooked meat, and
W A N F
point: in “Six 3-Ingredient Burger Grilled salad? Why not? Many veg- boil marinades before serving.
Recipes,” Nayman shows how easy it gies love an open flame — corn on • Keep charcoal starter fluid away
is to transform plain ground beef into the cob, portabella mushrooms, from children and heat sources.
something special with the addition onions, bell peppers, asparagus, • If you use a gas or propane grill,
of basic items you probably already tomatoes, zucchini. The list goes on. check for leaks. Turn the grill off
have on hand. Go to for Grilled Vege- immediately if you smell gas. If
table Salad from Mishpacha Maga- the smell continues, call the fire
Six 3-ingredient burgers zine’s Brynie Greisman that calls for department immediately and Challah · Pastries · cookies · bobkas · pies & More...
Courtesy of Chanie Nayman oven roasting. move away from the grill. WHERE QUALITY AND FRESHNESS COUNT!
Enhance ground beef with these Yes, even dessert can be tossed ·
flavorsome trios: on the barbecue. Check
Dear Rabbi Zahavy

Your talmudic advice column

Dear Rabbi Zahavy, enemies will practice evil to 1986, I wrote an op-ed that “‘Enemies do not govern our land. The
Our U.S. government recognized Jerusa- attack the core of our spirit and was published in the Jeru- Knesset, the site of our self-government,
lem as capital of Israel on May 14, 2018, to try to destroy it, and us along salem Post saying that Jeru- stands at the center of our new metropo-
and dedicated its embassy there, moving with it. We have seen it in ter- salem is not desolate. My lis, a vibrant testimony to our freedom.
it from Tel Aviv. I don’t understand how rifying instances of our history. underlying point was that Independent and sovereign, we struggle
we can continue to commemorate the 9th We should not forget. We must when we pray, it’s false to with each other and with the states of
day of Av as a sad fast day that memorial- not forget. Because evil can and say that Jerusalem today is the world, and somehow, we manage to
izes Jerusalem as a destroyed desolate city, will happen again. in ruins. live in harmony among ourselves, and
when the facts of today totally contradict We keep on seeing it in the The title that the editors to survive in the swirling community
that. Doesn’t the reality of today’s circum- annals of our people. For us Rabbi Tzvee assigned to the op ed was, of nations.’
stances make it time to abolish the fasting as Jews: Pogroms. Persecu- Zahavy “Some prefer to give it a “‘Yes, the Temple was destroyed. Buy
and mourning of that day? tions. The Holocaust. For us as new meaning,” although we have built other edifices in its stead.
Puzzled in Paramus Americans: Pearl Harbor. 9/11. that’s not exactly what I Long ago, in another age, our national
Dear Puzzled, And more. said. Here is the editorial: center was taken from us by forces we
We need to ask in general — why should Our enemies will target our sacred “I shall be fasting this week [for Tisha could not resist. But now we have built
we cede to religion the ability to legislate places, where they target us as Jews. B’Av]. But this year, more than ever before, new structures where we symbolize
our emotions? What is the benefit of mak- Where they attack us in our secular Amer- I feel silly mourning over the destruction and express our spirit, our minds and
ing people sad and mournful through ritu- ica, they will go after our core institutions of Jerusalem. I really do not know what our creative energies, and most of all,
als? Religion can do this, to a degree. By of commerce, military might, and sym- to do when it comes time to listen to and our freedom.’
requiring fasting, by forbidding weddings bolic political meaning, recite for myself the classical laments for “‘A great synagogue and many more
from taking place, banning music for three So yes, we need to memorialize our the fast of Tisha B’Av. Much of what we say stand in our capital. They serve as the
weeks, by prohibiting haircuts and shav- memories of evil and suffering in our about Jerusalem in the synagogue is just many beating hearts of our spiritual
ing, religion can try to manipulate moods sacred tribal rituals. It is a matter of essen- not true anymore. organs. In dozens of yeshivot, teachers
and motivations. But why? tial self-preservation. The ways we do that “It is obvious to anyone and everyone build the religious minds of our youth.
For many Jews who choose to become — trying to manipulate emotions — may that Jerusalem does not lie in ruins. On the Schools abound. When school is in ses-
less observant, Tisha B’Av fasting and seem crude and superficial — but that is contrary, this is my fourth extended visit to sion, wherever you turn there are chil-
lamenting are among the first religious what we have. Jerusalem in the last seven years. Over the dren on their way to classes from kinder-
practices that they will abandon when You may argue that through education last seven years I have watched as build- gartens to high schools, soaking up the
leaving rigorous practices behind. After and monuments and cultural events we ings spread out from the center of town to knowledge of our world.’
all, they may rationalize that it is a rabbinic can reach the same end. We don’t have to the new neighborhoods. Now Jerusalem “‘A great Hebrew University answers
rather than a scriptural practice. And it’s fast and ban haircuts. Perhaps that is true. sprawls across the hills of Judea, south and to the essence of our wider educational
not relevant anymore, now that Israel has But this is what we have, and perhaps we north from Gilo to Ramot and beyond. appetites, in the capital of our nation. In
been rebuilt. ought not abandon the practices and les- “On the ninth day of Av this year the its laboratories, classrooms and libraries,
And yet, in spite of such arguments and sons inherent in them. observant Jews of Jerusalem will congre- students try to unravel the mysteries of
developments, intelligent, learned Ortho- I am sure that if we turn our backs for gate in synagogues throughout the city to nature and society and strive to construct
dox clergy stand steadfastly behind the one hour, our enemies will not just harm mourn and lament. What they say inside a new and better order.’
commemorations and the rituals associ- us. They will assail the core of our inspi- these halls will not reflect the reality “‘The Israel Museum, the Bezalel
ated with them. What do they see that you ration. They again will burn our temple, immediately outside them. School, the Jerusalem Theatre and other
don’t see — and that I at times have not plow over our sacred city to teach us that “And so this year I have resolved to add institutions small and large. cater to our
seen or agreed with? Is there some pro- they have defeated us, to demoralize us to a few silent paragraphs to my prayers. cultural needs. In Jerusalem we display
found wisdom in making laws for fasting our essences. Then when I leave the synagogue and step our past and our present. We sing and
and mourning and recalling destructions? They will fly into our tallest buildings, out into the rebuilt city of our people, I will dance and we mourn no more. We paint
Rigorous practitioners will say yes, there blow up our planes, terrorize our cities, to feel that I have been candid in my medita- and draw and sculpt and adorn the urban
is, because the sacred locus of Judaism was undermine the security of our lives. tions and forthright in my worship. I shall hub of our people, the crown of our land.’
taken from us by force and violence. That is how evil thinks. We have seen it. say something like this: “‘As we watch, day-by-day, luxury
We lost our holy place — the Temple — We memorialize it in ritual practice. We “‘Jerusalem is not desolate. It stands glo- hotels go up and up. Lush green gardens
the address where God dwelled. teach it. We must do that to preserve our- rious above our Land. Our capital looks bloom before us. We repose in parks and
But you might argue, should we not get selves as a people, as Jews. We must do that down on the miracle of the modern state swimming pools. We find our needs in
over that? Should the sages not recognize to preserve ourselves as free Americans. of our people, rebuilt by the sweat and supermarkets, bakeries and department
that they themselves created vibrant alter- Fasting and mourning are some of the labor of our brethren and sisters. A thou- stores. And we indulge our extravagances
natives to fill the sacred void? Look at all means we have to keep the sad gruesome sand settlements testify to our return and in shops and markets, elegant restaurants
our synagogues, temples, and yeshivas. realities of the world in front of us so that we are homeless no more.’ and offbeat cafes.’
Perhaps then there is another more we may avert the next potential effort by “‘The inhabitants of Jerusalem are not “‘The city of Jerusalem has been
powerful message and purpose for Jews the forces of evil to cruelly assault us for homeless. Beautiful buildings abound, rebuilt. Still, the work is never done. And
embedded in the collection of mourning, being who we are. It will happen again. We apartments, condominiums, villas, large the struggle will not end. But: our city
fasting and lamenting actions for Tisha need to remember that and be ready. and small. Hotels and hostels, old and is not desolate. How can we mourn? We
B’Av. But at the same time we must be truthful new. Whosoever wishes may come and must, yes, we are obliged, indeed, it is
The stark fact we learn from the past in what we say in our liturgies and rituals. live here. Whosoever is hungry shall find the highest duty, for us to celebrate. For
is that evil exists — that eventually our Thirty-two years ago, on August 13, sustenance here.’ SEE DEAR RABBI PAGE 27

Tzvee Zahavy has been a professor of advanced Talmud, halachah and Jewish law codes,
The Dear Rabbi column offers timely advice based on timeless Talmudic
Jewish liturgy, Jewish history, Near Eastern and Jewish studies, and religious studies at
wisdom. It aspires to be equally respectful and meaningful to all varieties
major U.S. research universities and seminaries. He is a prolific author who has published
and denominations of Judaism. You can find it here on the first Friday of the
numerous articles and books about Judaism and Jewish texts. He received his Ph.D. from
month. Send your questions to
Brown University and his rabbinic ordination from Yeshiva University. Go to www.tzvee.
com for details.


D’var Torah
Parshat Pinchas
Moses and Pinchas: Contrasting models for modern political leadership

arshat Pinchas is a very problem- not wipe out the Israelite peo- father’s condemnation of it. lived through a number of other periods of
atic section of Torah for me. It is ple in my passion. Say there- In noting that the Torah text darkness, when political leaders and large
the climax of not only the Book fore, I grant him my ‘briti sha- defends Pinchas’ action, my numbers of the electorate have been con-
of Numbers but of the entire wil- lom,’” which JPS translates as brother asks, How often do sumed by fear, greed, and ignorance and
derness epic of Israel. Before the text goes my pact of friendship, rather any of us justify our words turned away from the ideals of our nation.
into the festival calendar of sacrifices we than its literal meaning, peace. and deeds by saying that we And then we have seen a correction that
find a narrative that seems to note the con- The text continues: “It shall are doing the only thing pos- has put our nation back on track toward the
clusion of the Israelites wilderness epic. be for him, Pinchas, and his sible to save our community, ongoing creation of a society based upon
In Numbers 27:12 we read: “Adonai said descendants after him, a pact of our family, or our country? the ideals of our founding documents.
to Moses ‘ascend these heights of Abarim priesthood for all time, because Rabbi Neal I. How often do we use some As American Jews we know this the-
and view the land that I have given to the he took impassioned action for Borovitz good reason to cloak our own sis to be true. In 1787, with the adoption
Israelite people. When you have seen it, you his God, thus making expiation Rabbi Emeritus ambition, our own self-will, of the Bill of Rights, the United States of
Temple Avodat
too shall be gathered to your kin as was your for the Israelites.” Shalom River Edge etc., to justify taking drastic America became the first nation on earth
brother Aaron. ….” I find these verses very Reform action? How often do we pub- to extend citizenship to Jews and guaran-
Moses’ response here, in verses 27:15-19, problematic for a 21st-century licize and magnify one bad tee freedom of religion for all. Conversely,
is very different from the one we will hear Jew. Numbers 25:10-13 can and thing that someone has done, we have a right to remind and remember
two months from now, when we read the has been interpreted by some as God’s com- and forget all the good that they do? How that the very same fears of immigrants
end of Deuteronomy. Rather than plead- mending Pinchas for his act of vengeance. often do we get even with another person, overrunning America today — that they’d
ing for his life, as he does in Deuteronomy, In the three previous verses of Torah that while proclaiming that we are doing these take jobs away from native Americans and
Moses acquiesces to the news that he too formed the maftir for last week’s Torah things in the name of God? change American culture — were heard
will die in the wilderness, asking God only reading, Pinchas, we are told, rose up from Truth be told, Pinchas can be a model for a century ago. The results of those fears
to insure communal continuity. “Adonai among the community and murdered an either or both, either a superhero who fights were the immigration laws of 1921 and
Source of the breath of all flesh appoint Israelite man. We learn this week the man for truth, justice, and the American way of 1924, limiting immigration from eastern
someone over the community who shall go was Zimri, who died with his Midianite con- life — or a terrorist. There have been years and southern Europe. Those barriers led
out before them and come in before them cubine, Cozbi. Moreover, for contemporary when I have read the story of Pinchas and to “no room at the inn” signs for millions
and who shall take them out and bring them Jews, our question is: What distinguishes condemned him. Yet there have been other of European Jews in the 1930s and 40s. We
in so that Adonai’s community may not be the Pinchas of this week’s Torah read- times when I have read this same story and in northern New Jersey can remember that
sheep that have no shepherd,” he pleads. ing from ISIS or Hamas terrorists or Yigal praised him. This year I find myself both these immigration quotas were ignored
Adonai answered Moses: “Single out Amir? Amir is the Israeli Jew who murdered embracing and wrestling with the Pinchas and refugee status was extended to more
Joshua ben Nun, an inspired man, and lay Prime Minister Rabin, justifying his action who is within me and the Pinchas-like fig- than 500,000 Jews from the former Soviet
your hand upon him. Have him stand before by comparing himself to Pinchas and Rabin ures who are all around me. Union in the period from 1980 to 2000.
Eleazar the priest and before the whole house to Zimri. In the contemporary world there When I listen to the zeal for vengeance on That granting of asylum was welcomed by
of Israel and commission him in their sight.” are far too many who, in the name of their our news channels, the hatred based on fear our community, and together with govern-
Finally, in verse 27:22 we are told, “Moses god, violate the fundamental precept You of the other that so many of our societal lead- ment support, and the funds raised by our
did just as God had commanded.” This bib- shall not murder that is at the foundation of ers use as a tool to retain power, I must say to UJA-Federation, thousands of those asy-
lical phrase, acknowledging obedience to Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. the Pinchas of our parasha: No! No, I cannot lum seekers were absorbed and integrated
God’s command is found first in Genesis, Every year when I read this parasha I justify or even condone your actions. Enough into our northern New Jersey community.
referring to Noah building the ark. Its repeti- ask myself: Where is the line between zeal with fear based violence! Every hateful action Moses is described for us throughout the
tion throughout the Torah is a way that the and zealotry? Is the cliché “might makes does not justify an equal opposing reaction. book of Numbers as a humble yet asser-
Torah expresses man’s obedient acceptance right” in fact an existential truth? Is Pinchas Is it not Pinchas-like zeal and self-righ- tive human leader. He gets angry and frus-
of God’s ultimate authority. praised here only because he is the high teousness on both sides of our political trated, but at the end of each conflict he
Juxtaposed with this narrative is the priest? Or are he and his descendants given divide here in America in 2018 that has led chooses the best possible direction to lead
story of Pinchas, the son of Eleazar and the the priesthood, as the Torah says, because us to the crisis on the U.S.-Mexican border his people. His leadership style is to be a
grandson of Aaron. Pinchas is praised for of his zeal for God? in the name of We the People of the United teacher who recognizes the human fears
zealously executing Zimri, an Israelite, and Pinchas is what my brother Rabbi Mark States? Where is the Aaron, whom our rab- and failures of the people and seeks ways to
Cozbi, a Midianite woman with whom Zimri Borovitz likes to call a truly “both/and” bis have characterized as the quintessen- overcome them. When he left Egypt there
apparently was going to have intercourse at character. tial peacemaker? Where is the Joshua who was an erev rav — a mixed multitude — who
the Tent of Meeting. In his book “Finding Recovery and Your- can lead us in a battle for security while joined in the Exodus. Moses didn’t ask any-
The text in Numbers 25:10-13 reads: “Ado- self in Torah,” Mark writes of this Pinchas- simultaneously teaching us to live in peace one of them for birth certificates. He asked
nai spoke to Moses saying: Pinchas ben Elea- Zimri confrontation by noting that Zimri is a with people with whom we differ politi- them only to pledge their allegiance to God.
zar, ben Aaron, the priest, has turned back descendant of Shimon and Pinchas of Levi. cally and ethnically? Are there not some salient messages in
my wrath from the Israelites by displaying He recalls the story of their conspiratorial In his new book, “The Soul of America,” this narrative from Numbers for 21st century
among them his passion for me, so that I did act of vengeance against Shchem and their Jon Meacham points out that America has America and for Israel as well?

has this city attained such glory.’ That was my message three decades cannot predict the future. But we should
Dear Rabbi “‘And so that is what I shall add as I ago. Today, we witness the embassy move not ignore the present.
conclude my lamentations on Tisha B’Av and the amazing infrastructure changes, So I’m not quite ready to abolish Tisha
with God’s help, but in accordance with this year. I shall be cheerful this year, and including a modern light rail, and new B’Av, but surely I would recommend
our own will and with our own hands, we I will not mourn. But I shall do so silently, buildings and businesses and population that we modify the liturgy we recite so
have raised Jerusalem beyond its highest because this is my own private devotion. growth and so much more in Jerusalem. that it describes present day Jerusalem
heights. Never before in all of our history Will others join me?’” We must not ignore the past and we more accurately.


Kosher Crossword
The Frazzled Housewife

Freaky Friday —
camp version

he movie Freaky Friday was Which can border on creepy, but you
quite clever. are getting your money’s worth, no mat-
For those of you who never ter what you need to do!
saw the original 1970s ver- Back to son #1’s first summer in sleep
sion — Jodie Foster plays the daughter. away camp…we got to the bus and
In the remake, which came out in 2003, learned that his counselor was also the
Lindsay Lohan plays the daughter. The bus counselor. So, what is a crazy par-
mother and daughter magically switch ent to do? Well, you start talking to the
places, so the daughter takes counselor. Telling him
on the mother’s persona how special your kid is.
and the mother takes on the How it is his first summer
daughter’s persona, thereby away from home and that
learning what it feels like he should be sensitive to
actually to be in the other that. How he is a picky
person’s shoes. eater, so please make sure
It was very entertaining, they find something for
heartwarming, blah blah him to eat. How it is hot
blah. Wouldn’t it be nice if out, so please make sure
that happened in real life? Banji he drinks. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Well, to an extent it does. Ganchrow Keep in mind this coun-
For those of you with selor is all of 17 years old.
children and for those of Keep in mind that the
you who have been fortunate enough counselor is looking at you like you are
to send your children to camp — more nuts. Keep in mind that this counselor is
specifically sleep-away camp — Freaky hoping that if he keeps nodding, you will
Friday happens when your adorable think he is really listening to you and you
child, who once was a helpless camper, will tip him accordingly.
becomes the person in charge. The all- And then your kid becomes that coun-
knowing, all-responsible counselor. selor. And you wonder when that hap-
Across Down
I was thinking back to the first time pened. And you wonder how you ever
1. Forehead covering 1. “___ O’Riley” (song by The Who)
6. New School or Juilliard deg. 2. Ben Canaan and Gold son #1 went to camp. Husband #1 and thought that your kid’s counselor had
9. “Anything ___?” 3. It was turned to blood I brought him to the bus, all nervous as much power as you thought he did —
13. Sharon, of Israel 4. Ice cream, in Pisa about sending our precious firstborn off and now parents are thinking that about
14. Methuselah, for sure 5. Shrewd to a faraway land. A land where the only your kid. (Which, of course, he does,
15. Some take them on on Shabbat 6. Jupiter has many
form of communication was through because your kids are perfect.)
16. Madison Square Garden record holder 7. Escape (from)
18. “True ___” (2010 remake) 8. Bigotry-fighting org. letters. Handwritten letters. Do you Yup, that is Freaky Friday — camp edi-
19. On the Caribbean, e.g. 9. Planning to marry remember those? If you were a really tion. Or just plain freaky. When I took
20. Echad, at the Louvre 10. Comic behind the fictional musical diligent parent, you would mail some son #3 to the bus stop, where he was
21. “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” author “Fatwa!” letters before camp even started so there the bus counselor, he actually brought it
Eric 11. Exxon Valdez mishap
would be mail waiting for your child in up. How weird it is for him not being the
22. Cheap(er) B’way buy 12. Lauder of lipstick
24. Busy fabric pattern 17. Extend beyond (with “out”) camp. Now that is a good parent! camper any more, being the counselor
25. Awe 21. ___ella De Vil Handwritten letters came before the instead. It also is pretty funny that his
28. Used Elmer’s 23. ___ Maga invention of bunk notes. Bunk notes, for older brother, son #2, is his direct super-
29. NYC neighborhood of Cong. Kehilat 24. Assign, as a portion those not familiar with them, are emails visor, since he is the division head. As
Jeshurun 25. Big commotion
that you can send to your child and then the mom, I think it is just adorable that
30. “It’s been ___ pleasure” 26. You might take one on faith
33. Brides’ escorts 27. He played Apocalypse in “X-Men: those emails are printed out and deliv- one son is the other son’s boss.
36. The Kings, on scoreboards Apocalypse” ered to your child’s bunk. This was a But that is how life is. You go from
37. Flying Avenger...or experience in 28. Greek Earth goddess: Var. genius invention. A real money maker. being young to being old. You go from
the Bible given to the ends of 16 & 31. Early or late follower And now the camps have their own ver- listening to those older and wiser to
59-Across and 10 & 27-Down 32. Guessed amts.
sion of bunk notes. When you are a first- becoming the one who is older and
39. Go toe-to-toe 34. What Jews do after blessings on wine
40. Some Dead Sea locales and challah time bunk note user, you write to your wiser (in theory, not always in practice).
42. Washington, e.g. 35. Burn kid every night, trying to use every one And you hope that your kid’s counselor
43. One ___ million 38. Gingrich of Georgia of the characters allotted to you. As you knows what he is doing when your kid
44. Uses a star scale 41. Slowly enjoys food, to a Brit get older and more tired, you fall asleep has absolutely no clue.
46. A bird that walks in water 45. They may block or catch TDs
forgetting to write to your child, and as Don’t worry, if your kids are in my
48. Dieter’s cut of pie 47. Where Asteroids might be found
50. Tolkien title letters 48. Bug-hits-windshield sound a result, your poor kid ends up getting kids’ bunk, they are in good hands…
52. Mexican shekels 49. Israeli bank no emails for a week and then 14 emails
53. War stat. 50. Actor’s homework on the same day. Since you don’t want Banji Ganchrow is the mother of three
54. Blanchett of “Blue Jasmine” 51. Desk material, perhaps to waste the money you spent on these capable boys. In fact, she wishes they
58. Where to sing “Aloha Oe” 53. Pal, in Adelaide
bunk notes, you end up writing to your were as capable in private as they are in
59. Baseball’s homerun king, to purists 55. Met solo
61. Said in Hebrew? 56. Bugs or Mickey kids’ friends who are in the same camp. public. But that is for another column.
62. Noshed 57. Creatures in 50-Across
63. Imbecile
64. Behavioral quirks
59. Dad of Kylo
60. “First” or “Kool” ending
And then your kid becomes
65. 1980s video game console, for short
66. Academic heads
The solution to last week’s puzzle is that counselor. And you
on page 35.
wonder when that happened.
Arts & Culture
‘Bad Jews’ author talks about Jews (and other things)
Josh Harmon’s newest effort, ‘Skintight,’ also looks at Jews
CURT SCHLEIER he had loving grandparents. In fact, his

grandmother was in part responsible for
here was a substantial (and as his career.
might be predicted) negative “She took me to a lot of shows in New
reaction to a recent New York York and really encouraged me. She just
Times list of the 25 best plays died in April. She was sort of an Auntie
produced since 1993. No one was more Mame figure who would take me to wildly
outraged than the reader who argued that inappropriate museum exhibits and
because not one Joshua Harmon play was plays.” Among them (when he was just
included, the list “can therefore [exple- 10 years old): “Medea,” by Euripides, in
tive] right off.” which a scorned wife murders her succes-
I’m on the phone with Harmon, 36, to sor. ( Jodi, are you listening?)
discuss his new play, “Skintight,” and I men- Unlike “Bad Jews” his new work has no
tion this to him. “I did not see that,” he says, single starting point. “Bad Jews” had its —
adding, “but I assume it was my mother.” you should pardon the expression — gen-
It wasn’t mom, but rather a theatergoer esis in a Holocaust remembrance service
who recognized the seeds of greatness in while Harmon was in college.
Harmon. In just four productions, Harmon “Instead of having the survivors there,
has established himself as the Great Jewish it was the grandchildren speaking about
American playwright of his generation, in their grandparents,” he says. “But I found
the tradition of Neil Simon, Wendy Was- the experience much less moving than any
serstein, and Alfred Uhry. I mention this to previous ceremony. Something about that
him, too, and he demurs. Sort of. not being moving stayed with me. And
“It’s not something I aspire to,” he says. made me ask ‘What does it mean for my
“Not something I thought about a great generation to be inheritors of this legacy?’”
deal. I’m just trying to write plays I want to The play, which made stars of Tracee
see and those plays tend to include charac- Chimo and Ridgewood’s Michael Zegen,
ters from my background. I can’t say that was about a religiously observant woman
[I’m the Great Playwright]. fighting her secular cousin over a chai
“But I’m very happy to have someone necklace that their survivor grandfa-
else say that about me.” ther had managed to smuggle out of the
So I will. camps, a gift he wants to give to his non-
Harmon is known most Jewish girlfriend.
famously as the author of “Bad On the face of it, given its title and plot,
Jews,” an exploration of Jewish you’d think “Bad Jews” would be a niche
identity — more on that later. production, but it is one of the most pro-
“Skintight” asks the question, duced plays in the world, with lengthy
What is love? A brilliant Idina runs from England to Australia — places
Menzel plays Jodi Isaac, a mid- whose residents are unlikely to know
40s lawyer who flies to New much about Manhattan’s Upper West Side,
York from Los Angeles osten- where “Bad Jews” is set.
sibly to surprise her wealthy From left, Jack Wetherall, Idina Menzel, and Eli Gelb.  JOAN MARCUS “I think the trick is to write very specifi-
father, Elliot ( Jack Wetherall), cally about a specific group of people, and
on his 70th birthday. hilarious — but it’s also sad, make friends. I don’t think Willie Loman that somehow taps into something that is
But she’s really made the Joshua Harmon and its major characters or Blanche Dubois are particularly likable. universal,” in this case “cultural assimila-
trip in search of familial sol- are not very likable. Elliot “To me, the point of a play is to see char- tion,” Harmon says.
ace; her 50-year-old former husband has is cold and self-absorbed. Jodi is needy. acters in difficult situations, see how they Still, Harmon was surprised by the
thrown himself and his 24-year-old girl- Her son, Benjamin (Eli Gelb), is the only navigate them and maybe empathize with play’s success. “It’s what you hope for
friend — Jodi had discovered them in her one who has a sense of his family’s history. them. My favorite plays are not about peo- when you set out. That you will be pro-
bed — an engagement party attended by He’s in Hungary, majoring in queer stud- ple I like, but people who intrigue me.” duced. On one level the success is bizarre.
all “my friends with my kids at my favorite ies, and he says: Still, a Jewish grandpa who doesn’t like I wasn’t prepared for it. I’m not sure any-
restaurant.” “I’m living in the place our family lived his kid or his kid’s kids? “I think there are one could be.”
But Elliot couldn’t care less about her or in for centuries and, I mean, if you want a lot of people like that,” Harmon says. “A On the other hand, it hasn’t reduced
his grandchildren. He’s more interested to see a Jewish name in Hungary you have lot of people who are unhappy with their his level of anxiety. “Anxiety is like a suit-
in his 20-year-old boyfriend, with skin to go to the Holocaust memorial.” Still, he parents and their grandparents. I know case you carry with you and periodically
so smooth “I’d like to sleep in a bed with comes off as foppish to the point of being that’s not true for all people, but I’ve seen unpack,” Harmon says. “Before ‘Bad Jews’
sheets made from” it. an almost offensive caricature. it through careful observation and in talk- it was will I ever have a production? Then
For the record, just because the play Getting theatergoers to like his charac- ing to friends and people I know.” it becomes about writing the next play.
questions the meaning of love doesn’t ters is not a priority for Harmon. “Likabil- But he did not experience that dys- How it will be received?”
mean that its author understands it. “I ity is not a question that interests me ter- function personally. On the contrary, he Sounds like the subject of a play about
don’t know that I have a clear answer,” he ribly,” he says. “I feel if you want to meet grew up in Westchester County in a com- this Jewish writer.
says. “That’s why I wrote the play.” likable characters you should go to a bar- fortable upper middle class, conserva- “Skintight” is at the Laura Pels Theater
“Skintight” is very funny — at times becue. I don’t think theater is a place to tive Jewish home; unlike poor Benjamin, through August 26.


Calendar 10 Norma Ave. Varda, series in Overpeck Park,
Saturday (201) 791-0327. Thursday , supported by Bergen
County Executive Jim
JULY 7 JULY 12 Tedesco and the Board
of Chosen Freeholders,
Women’s song circle in opens with Billy Gilman,
Teaneck: Join a z’mirot a finalist on Season 11
song circle, for women of NBC’s “The Voice,”
only, at Congregation 7:30 p.m. Seating is
Bnai Yeshurun, available on the park
6-7 p.m. 641 West lawn. Bring chairs/
Englewood Ave. Email blankets; a food vendor
WomensZmirot+owner@ Film in Teaneck: will be there. Series Congregation Beth continues July 19, 26, and
Aaron screens “Persona
Non Grata: The Story
Aug. 9.
of Chiune Sugihara,” 8
p.m. Afterwards, Rabbi
Rabbi David Fine
Saturday h
Judaism & Islam: The JULY 14
Michael Miller, executive
CSI Scholar Fund of T
vice president of the 2
Jewish Community the JCC of Fort Lee/ Afternoon tea in
Relations Council of Congregation Gesher Teaneck: AMIT Hindy i
Greater New York, Shalom presents visiting Weinstock-Geula e
scholar Rabbi David
who was invited by the
Fine of Temple Israel &
chapter offers a Shabbat w
Japanese government to summer afternoon tea
Pianist Eric Clark f
Rabbi Chaim Eisenstein
attend a memorial there JCC in Ridgewood, with
a new series, “Judaism
to honor the memory JULY
on the 100th anniversary of Anita Scharf, z”l, at a performs in concert
of Chiune Sugihara’s & Islam Through the private home in Teaneck, T
Shabbat in Teaneck: birthday. 950 Queen Ages.” Refreshments 5 p.m. Guest speaker
on Friday, July 13,
Rabbi Chaim Eisenstein,
Anne Road. (201) 836- at 12:30 p.m. , program Shira Schiowitz, tanach at Temple Emeth in
a member of Yeshiva at 12:45. Lecture, p
University’s faculty
6210 or www.bethaaron.
“The Umayyads and
instructor at SAR High Teaneck, beginning at 6 p.m. The e
org. School, discusses “
at the Gruss Kollel Jerusalem — The Devarim (Deuteronomy)
evening includes a barbecue, short A
in Jerusalem, is the
scholar-in-residence Tuesday
Abbasids and Baghdad.” as a Handbook for family-friendly service, and oneg. i
Series continues July
at Congregation Beth 19, Aug. 2, and 9. 1449
Life.” Register, www. 1666 Windsor Road. Reservations T
Aaron in Teaneck. After Anderson Ave., Fort Lee. geulachaptertea. for BBQ, (201) 833-1322 or www. h
Musaf he will discuss (201) 947 1735 or www.
“The Heart of the Three
Information, Genene I Kaye, (212) 477-5465 or
Weeks: Processing the t
Blood drive in Teaneck: GeneneK@amitchildren.
Halacha and Machshava
Sara Schatz of Teaneck, org. of YIPC and Dr. Shani
of This Challenging Postpartum depression: D
Period.” At 7:05, his topic a 20-year-old college Ratzker, icebreakers,
The Jewish Center
will be “The Majesty of student, chairs a New Sunday of Teaneck offers
round robin speed
dating, musical Havdalah
Shabbat in the Thought York Blood Center blood
drive at Young Israel of
JULY 15 “Postpartum Depression: and kumsitz bonfire with
of Rav Soloveichik and Raising Awareness and
Chassidut,” and after Teaneck, 3-9 p.m. 868 singer/musician Rabbi
Meditation retreat in Breaking the Stigma” Michael Nadata, meals,
Mincha, he will give a Perry Lane. Sign-up with social workers
online at Tenafly: Mark Van Buren, and housing. Hosted
shiur, “Highlights from
a yoga, meditation, and Arona Berow and Marilyn by Rachel Ruchlamer
the RIETS Israel Kollel: youngisraelblooddrive. Laves, 7 p.m. 70 Sterling
Walk-ins welcome. mindful living trainer, and Dr. Shani Ratzker.
The Top Ten of Hilchot
Basar bi-Chalav.” 950
Queen Anne Road. “Bonnet Bouquet”
Questions, Sara,
(201) 708-5249 or
leads a meditation retreat
at the Kaplen JCC on
Place. Shidduchprojects@gmail.
com or (201) 522-4776.
by artist the Palisades, 12:30 p.m. A
(201) 836-6210 or www. COURTESY JCCOTP
Entertainment in
Half-day guided silent
retreat teaches how to
Singles Wednesday s
Artist reception: Artist Wayne: The summer incorporate meditation JULY 18 p
Sunday Leslee Fetner is at a concert series at the into a daily routine. Hagit Friday p
JULY 8 reception in her honor Wayne YMCA opens Tal, (201) 408-1477, htal@ JULY 6 Lunch in Nyack: w
for her show “Making an with the “Illusions of, or Singles 65+ from the
Casino trip: Hadassah’s Impression,” including Lyn,” 7 p.m. Series runs Shabbaton in Passaic: JCC Rockland meet for
monotypes, etchings, through August 30. The lunch at Amici Italian s
Fair Lawn chapter takes Music in Paterson: The Shidduch Project
a trip to the Tropicana and solar prints, at the Metro YMCAs of the hosts a Shabbaton for Restaurant, Central 7
Double Entendre plays
Casino in Atlantic City. A Waltuch Gallery at the Oranges is a partner of modern Orthodox/ Nyack, N.Y., 12:30 p.m. T
Kaplen JCC on the the YM-YWHA of North music from the British Individual checks. 425
bus leaves the Fair Lawn Isles for the Lambert machmir young p
Jewish Center/CBI at Palisades in Tenafly, Jersey. 1 Pike Drive. professionals, 23-39, at North Route 59. Gene,
6:30 -8:30 p.m. Art (973) 595-0100 or www. Castle concert series at (845) 356-5525. A
9 a.m. ; be there by 8:45. Lambert Castle, 5 p.m. Young Israel of Passaic-
$30; includes $25 back on display through Clifton. Includes three S
3 Valley Road. Limited
from the casino. Bring August 31. 411 E. Clinton
seating. (973) 247-0085 interactive meals, oneg o
Ave. Nina Bachrach, Concert in Teaneck: with speakers including
a valid ID. Park on the
The free Bergen County or d
street, not in the Jewish (201) 408-1406 or Rabbi Yaakov Glasser Summer Music Concert d
Center parking lot. 10-




Amit’s Shabbat tea

Amit’s Hindy Weinstock Geula chapter is Shaare Tefillah of Teaneck for the last 14
hosting a summer afternoon tea in mem- years.
ory of Anita Scharf, z”l, on Saturday, July Donna Hoenig, Anita Scharf ’s daugh-
14, at 5 p.m., at a private home in Teaneck. ter, remembers “while I was growing up
Shira Schiowitz, a Tanach teacher at in the Bronx, my mother was very dedi-
the SAR High School, will speak about cated to Amit (then known as Mizrachi
“Devarim (Deuteronomy) as a Handbook Women). Her dedication to Israel through
For Life.” her involvement with Amit taught me the
In addition to teaching Tanach, Ms. importance of raising funds to help chil-
Schiowitz is a mentor for new teachers and dren in Israel. It is an honor that the mem-
Deni Bonet Lyn Dillies PHOTOS COURTESY YMCA co-director of professional development ory of my mother is perpetuated through
at SAR. Before, she taught at Ma’ayanot, this annual memorial shiur.”
Summer concerts where she also chaired the Tanach depart-
ment. She was the assistant dean at Lam-
To register, go to
geulachaptertea. For information, email
honor Year of the Woman deinu in Teaneck during its first year. Genene Kaye at GeneneK@amitchildren.
To celebrate the strength of women in performance. She has performed at a She is married to Rabbi Kenny Schiowitz, org, call (212) 477-5465, or go to www.amit-
2018, the Rosen Performing Arts Center sold-out show at Carnegie Hall and at the who had been the leader of Congregation
in the Wayne YMCA, both kicks off and White House for President Obama, she
ends its Eight Summer Concert series tours with Cyndi Lauper, and she
with women who have earned their has recorded with R.E.M. and Sarah
fame in their professions. McLachlan.
Lyn Dillies, who opens the series on
Thursday, July 12, at 7 p.m., is the first
July 12 ticket holders will receive a free Save the date for Supplies for Success
ice cream float in the Y’s atrium, begin-
female illusionist in history to receive the ning at 5:45. Volunteers are needed to unpack and Donations are also needed — $18 fills one
prestigious Milbourne Christopher Acad- Tickets are $16 for each show or $100 set up supplies on Monday, August 20, backpack; $72- four; and $180- ten. Sup-
emy of Magic award from the Society of for eight shows. Subsequent shows, all and then fill up backpacks on Wednes- plies for Success is sponsored by Genesis
American Magicians. Past recipients on Thursday nights at 7, include tributes day, August 22, for Jewish Federation of Foundation, Artistic Tile, and Myron. Kati
include David Copperfield, Penn and to such greats as Cole Porter, Judy Gar- Northern New Jersey’s Supplies for Suc- Frisch Grossman and Michal Levison co-
Teller, and Siegfried and Roy. She also land, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, the cess drive. Brand new backpacks are filled chair the project.
has won the Merlin Award for Female Bee Gees, the Rolling Stones, and Peter, with supplies for hundreds of disadvan- For information, call Beth Figman at
Illusionist of the Year from the Interna- Paul and Mary, plus the comedy of Ross taged kids returning to school this fall in (201) 820-3947, email, or
tional Magician’s Society. Bennett. northern New Jersey. go to
Eight weeks later, on August 30, For more information, call (973) 595-
Deni Bonet leads a troupe of musi- 0100 or go to
cians with her ultra-high-voltage violin ROSENPAC.

Raising awareness of
postpartum depression
Arona Berow will tell her per-
sonal experience with post-
partum depression, and then
psychotherapist Marilyn Laves
will talk about the phenome-
non from a more clinical per- Four Tops Temptations PHOTOS COURTESY BERGENPAC

spective, on Sunday, July 15, at

7 p.m., at the Jewish Center of
Teaneck. The program, “Post-
Temptations and Four Tops
partum Depression: Raising coming to Englewood next spring
Awareness and Breaking the Tickets are on sale for the Temptations The Four Tops also hit the scene in the
Stigma,” will explore causes Arona Berow Marilyn Laves and the Four Tops, who will perform at 1960s, with hits like “Baby I Need Your
of perinatal mood and anxiety the Bergen Performing Arts Center in Loving,” “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie,
disorders, how postpartum depression psychotherapy, clinical supervision, pro- Englewood next year on Thursday, May Honey Bunch),” and “It’s The Same Old
differs from the baby blues, available gram oversight, and training. 9, 2019, at 8 p.m. Song.” Today the group includes original
treatments, and what we can do as a Ms. Berow, a licensed social worker, is The Temptations began their soul hits in member Abdul Fakir with Ronnie McNeir,
community to ensure that women do the Partners In Caring social worker for the 1960s. Founding member Otis Williams Harold Bonhart, and original member
not suffer in silence. the Jewish Community Services program still performs with singers Ron Tyson, Lawrence Payton’s son Roquel.
Ms. Laves, who specializes in perinatal at the Jewish Board of Family and Chil- Terry Weeks, Larry Braggs, and Willie Tickets are available at www.ticketmas-
mood and anxiety disorders, has worked dren Services. For more information, go Greene Jr. The Temptation’s hits include,, or through
in mental health and substance abuse to “The Way You Do the Things You Do,” “My the box office, (201) 227-1030.
fields for more than 20 years offering Girl,” and “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.”

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Within a year of DACA’s implementation, rumors of a

Border child-based amnesty program emerged throughout
Tegucigalpa, San Salvador, and Guatemala City. News-
Juveniles” or “SIJ.” SIJ is intended for children who are papers in those countries reported tales of coyotes lur- At bottom, President
in the United States without a parent and do not intend ing young mothers with stories of the “Obama waiver,”
to reunite with that parent after obtaining legal per- which supposedly granted immediate work authoriza- Trump’s family
manent resident status. Once a family judge declares a tion to children and their parents who were caught at separation policy was
child abandoned, the route to obtain a green card under the US border. By 2014, these rumors turned into a full-
the TVPA is remarkably easy. An applicant merely files on border crisis, first with children being sent alone, an ill-conceived
a form with United States Citizenship and Immigration and then families traveling together. solution to discourage
Services, attaching the family judge order. In 2010-11, What happened during the border crisis was that
the definition of “abandoned” was broadened to include while nobody actually found the elusive “Obama asylum applicants from
children who have been abandoned by only one parent. waiver,” these migrants did discover and promulgate using their children as a
The election of President Obama in 2008 changed the knowledge of the weak points in America’s border
admission and detention landscape precipitously through policy. First came the unaccompanied minors, who shield to avoid
his government’s incremental policy adjustments, mostly qualified for green cards so long as a family court judge detention when
designed to create a more favorable environment for deemed them abandoned, which they always did. Again,
asylum seekers at the border. One such change came in the definition of “abandoned” was stretched rather thin. crossing the border.
2009, when Obama’s Department of Homeland Security Our office represented one child who, according to his
broadened its use of statutory parole authority to provide family lawyer, blurted out in his abandonment hearing CBP’s use of parole, particularly for asylum seekers.
entry to aliens crossing the border specifically to pursue that he “talked to his dad all the time.” The family judge Because asylum seekers at ports of entry once again
claims of asylum. Historically, parole had been used for nonetheless used the stretched definition of one-parent would be detained for the duration of the asylum pro-
medical emergencies and to bring in witnesses for crimi- abandonment, finding the kid to be abandoned and giv- cess as mandated by IIRIRA, the migrant flow shifted
nal prosecutions, but President Obama expanded its use ing him a straight path to permanent residency. The joy away from the ports of entry and back to illegal border
of parole to provide entry to any asylum applicant who wouldn’t last, however, as the SIJ parents soon learned crossings. In crossing illegally, the applicant could guar-
successfully passed a credible fear test at a port of entry. that granting SIJ cut them off from receiving any immi- antee a bond hearing before an immigration judge (and
That is a rather low bar by any objective standard. Most gration benefits from their children. if released, could spend more than five years waiting for
importantly, by paroling these arriving aliens into the With the weaknesses of SIJ exposed, the migrants soon a hearing).
United States, President Obama removed the primary discovered a second weak point in President Obama’s At bottom, President Trump’s family separation pol-
deterrent associated with someone presenting himself at border policy: the expansion of parole to anyone who icy was an ill-conceived solution to discourage asylum
a port of entry to apply for asylum — the prospect of man- passed a credible fear test at a port of entry. As stated applicants from using their children as a shield to avoid
datory detention without bond, as required by IIRIRA. above, this policy encouraged non-citizens to stand in detention when crossing the border, while also avoiding
A more immediate reaction sprang from President line at a port of entry, recite a few rehearsed lines to the legal pitfalls that plagued the prior administration’s
Obama’s creation of the Deferred Action for Childhood an asylum officer — “I’m afraid to return home” — and use of the family detention centers, which already have
Arrivals program in June of 2012. By its terms, DACA was instead of staying in jail during the next 45 days, wait- been declared to violate the Flores agreement.
quite limited. It provided work authorization to a small ing to see a judge, as required for arriving aliens under The logic of the policy is as follows: President Trump’s
subset of children and young adults who were brought to IIRIRA, be paroled into the country for a wait of five to Department of Justice begins by prosecuting illegal bor-
the United States illegally. Nevertheless, DACA breathed 10 years to have a full immigration court hearing. In the der crossers in criminal court. In doing so, ICE transfers
ensuing years, stories appeared in newspapers about jurisdiction over the applicant’s custody over to the U.S.
how border crossers actively sought out border officers, Marshall’s Service, which mandates separation for all
rather than sneak past them, as they did in years past. people waiting for criminal prosecution. While the parent
The third weak point was discovered only after Presi- remains in Marshall’s Service custody, the child promptly
The election of dent Obama’s administration attempted to accommo- is transferred to HHS custody, as per the strict rules of the
date the increasing number of families streaming across Flores agreement, and possibly released altogether. When
President Obama in the border in 2014-15. To handle this newly reconstituted the parent finishes the criminal proceedings, he or she is
2008 changed the migrant flow, Immigration and Customs Enforcement given back to ICE to be held until he or she obtains bond,
began to hold families together in special family deten- or has an asylum hearing before a judge.
admission and tion units as they awaited their hearings before an immi- While the system is unbelievably cruel, its underly-
detention landscape gration judge. The few such detention centers ICE had ing question remains unanswered: how does the United
on hand quickly filled up. At the same time, at least one States effectively discourage the trafficking of children
precipitously through federal judge found that holding families in detention across the desert so the parents can avoid detention,
his government’s centers violated the children’s rights under the Flores while simultaneously upholding the human rights pro-
Agreement. In short order, President Obama’s admin- tections for these same children as provided by the
incremental policy istration gave up on family detention altogether, and Flores agreement?
adjustments, mostly instead simply would release anyone found crossing the President Obama’s administration essentially tried to
border illegally with a child. open our borders to parole for anyone who could pass a
designed to create a In sum, a Central American migrant in 2014-15 was credible fear interview, but this policy only resulted in a
more favorable almost spoiled for choices on how to enter the United border crisis and a doubling of cases before our already
States. For instance, she might apply for asylum at a port full immigration courts. Trump, meanwhile, violates our
environment for asylum of entry, and so long as she passed the credible fear test, remaining moral authority by resorting to tactics that
seekers at the border. she would be paroled in to the United States without are universally condemnable. So long as families con-
fear of mandatory detention as per IIRIRA. Alternatively, tinue to flee gang violence in their home countries, and
she might bring her child with her through the desert. so long as they see the United States as their ultimate
new hope into a generation of young immigrants and If she were caught, she knew, the administration lacked destination, the shining city upon a hill, we will continue
their family members, many of whom had given up the resources to keep her detained very long, and she to wrestle with this issue.
ever securing any lawful status. Taken together with the likely would be released in a matter of days. And then,
simultaneous discussions on immigration reform then in if her asylum claim failed, her child likely could obtain a Michael J. Wildes, a Democratic former mayor of
Congress, there was a feeling in the air that real change green card under the more expansive abandoned child Englewood, will be on the ballot for that position in
was about to come. SIJ definition. November. He is the managing partner of Wildes and
That air of change drifted south to Central America, a This brings us, finally, to Trump’s current and ill- Weinberg, PC, specializing in immigration law, and a
region that then was plagued by an uptick in gang vio- advised child separation policy. The first thing Trump former federal prosecutor. The firm’s website is www.
lence throughout Honduras, Guatemala, and El Salvador. did with his first executive action was to vastly curtail


Richard Cantor Anita Salat
Richard S. Cantor, 78, of Parsippany, died June 26. Anita R. Salat, née Sergey, 86, of Fair Lawn, formerly of Obituaries are prepared with
Born in Brooklyn, before retiring he owned a Paterson, died July 2. information provided by funeral homes. Correcting
limousine company and was a member of Temple Beth Predeceased by her husband, Arlen, she is survived by errors is the responsibility of the funeral home.
Am in Parsippany. children, Jill Cohen (Daniel) of Saddle Brook, and Jeffrey
Predeceased by his wife, Roberta, née Hochhauser, (the late Meryl Schwartz) of New York; sister, Esther
he is survived by children, Fred of Airmont, N.Y., and Gerber (the late Ralph) of Fair Lawn; and nephews and
Lauren Cantor of Madison; and three grandchildren. their families.
Arrangements were by Eden Memorial Chapels, Arrangements were by Louis Suburban Chapel,
Fort Lee. Fair Lawn.

Funeral Planning Simplified

201.261.2900 | 789 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666
Holocaust survivor, respondents supported negotiations with the Palestin-
ians, less than 20 percent believed the talks would lead Owner/Manager Daniel W. Leber, NJ Lic. No3186
women’s rights icon, to peace.
laid to rest at French Pantheon Another recent poll of Israelis showed strong favorable
Holocaust survivor and women’s rights powerhouse Sim- feelings toward Trump and his policy on Israel. A June poll Robert Schoem’s Menorah Chapel, Inc
one Veil was given one of the highest honors in France by the American Jewish Committee found that 77 percent Jewish Funeral Directors
of Israelis approve of his handling of U.S.-Israel relations, Family Owned & m anaged
last week when she was buried at the esteemed Panthéon.
with 85 percent in favor of his transfer of the U.S. Embassy Generations of Lasting Service to the Jewish Community
Thousands of people attended the ceremony. • Serving NJ, NY, FL & • Our Facilities Will Accommodate
Veil, considered one of France’s most beloved and in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. JNS.ORG
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and a day before the burial, and was interred in the Paris
house that contains the remains of Voltaire, Emile Zola,
Birthright Israel celebrates Gary Schoem – Manager - NJ Lic. 3811
Jordan E. Schoem – Funeral Director - NJ Lic. 5146
Louis Braille and Victor Hugo. 18 years of changing young lives Conveniently Located
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site. She joins scientist Marie Curie, resistance fighters Approximately 6,000 participants from countries all 201.843.9090 1.800.426.5869
Genevieve de Gauelle-Anthonioz and Germaine Tillione, over the word, as well as 1,500 soldiers from various units
and the wife of chemist Marcellin Berthelot, Sophie. of the Israel Defense Forces, gathered at the 18th-year
The coffin of Veil’s husband, high-ranking civil servant mega-event marking Birthright Israel’s 18th birthday at
Antoine, who died in 2013, was placed next to hers. The Sultan’s Pool in Jerusalem on June 27. The celebration was
coffins were displayed for 48 hours at the French Holo- the largest one in the history of the project, which started
caust Memorial, which she helped found, to allow the in 1999.
public to pay their respects, and then Republican Guards In a recorded greeting, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin
escorted them through Paris to the Panthéon. Netanyahu said, “Birthright Israel is a life-changing experi-
Simone Jacob and her family were deported to Aus- ence for so many. Young men and women see the miracle
chwitz in 1944, when she was 16. Her mother, father, and of Israel for the first time often and firsthand. They take
brother were killed in the Holocaust. When Veil returned pride in our democracy and our land of opportunity, and
to France, she supported European reconciliation and become active participants in the greatest story ever told:
became a fierce advocate for women’s rights, working to the rebirth of the Jewish people.
legalize abortion in 1974. She was elected the first presi- “I thank all the participants and supporters around
dent of the European Parliament in 1979. the world. I look forward to another 18 years and
Veil’s acceptance into the Pantheon was the result of beyond of Birthright Israel’s great success. Mazal tov …
nationwide petitions. Her arrival at the Panthéon was congratulations!”
attended by former presidents Francois Hollande and Hatikvah 6 and the 2018 Eurovision song-contest winner
Nicolas Sarkozy, as well as President Emmanuel Macron. Netta Barzilai performed for the oversized crowd.
 JNS.ORG The party included greetings from leading philanthro-
pist Dr. Miriam Adelson, who was there with her husband, We continue to be Jewish family managed,
Las Vegas casino owner and major Republican party
Israeli poll shows little faith donor Sheldon Adelson, and Birthright Israel co-founder
knowing that caring people provide caring service.
in Trump plan to achieve peace Charles Bronfman. It also featured an awards ceremony GUTTERMAN AND MUSICANT
A recent survey shows that Israelis do not believe that a for IDF units that excel in promoting the activity of the
proposal by U.S. President Donald Trump will be success- program within the military.
ful in achieving peace between Israelis and Palestinians. This summer season, Birthright Israel also marks 800-522-0588
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tute and Tel Aviv University, shows that nearly 75 percent ing participants from 33 countries. 800-322-0533
of Jewish and Arab Israelis believe a plan by the Ameri- Gidi Mark, CEO of Birthright Israel, thanked everyone
can administration has either very low or moderately low who has contributed to the program, which was founded
402 Park Street, Hackensack, New Jersey 07601
chances to succeed. with the aim of strengthening identity among young Jews ALAN L. MUSICANT, Mgr., N.J. Lic. No. 2890
An overwhelming 77 percent of respondents said they worldwide, enhancing their ties to their home Jewish com- MARTIN D. KASDAN, N.J. Lic. No. 4482
believe Israel’s interests are important to the American munities and solidify their association with Israel.
president, with more than 60 percent saying they believe He especially noted the IDF soldiers who could not be Advance Planning Conferences Conveniently Arranged
the interests of the Palestinians are not. at the party “because they are busy defending the State of at the Funeral Home or in Your Own Home
The poll also showed that while more than half of Israel.” JNS.ORG


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34 Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018


Solution to last week’s puzzle. This week’s puzzle is Synagogue permanent and more traditional space will not necessarily
on page 28. FrOM PaGe 7 have to mean letting go of experimental musical experi-
— fundraising was tough in Brooklyn — but it’s also ideologi- ences, or even sometimes meeting at a cafe in a T-shirt.
cal. He believes that by attracting a group of like-minded Rabbi Kaunfer also says that as some prayer groups have
young people, he was missing out on the sometimes diffi- become more like synagogues, synagogues have adopted
cult but also intricate mosaic of a typical synagogue com- practices and melodies pioneered by the prayer groups.
munity. People may not agree on everything and they’ll Others still dislike the idea of permanence. If the sec-
come from different generations, he says, but they will be ond iteration of Makom does end up happening, Ms.
there both for bar/bat mitzvahs and funerals. Today’s polit- Rugoff says, it will still appeal to people who are still
ical polarization has only reinforced that notion for him. looking for something other than what their parents’
“There’s a trend to silo ourselves,” he said. “I think there synagogue has to offer.
is a real reluctance for people to enter into synagogue life “I don’t think Makom would ever become a brick-and-
because of all of the meshugas that comes with commu- mortar synagogue,” she said. “I think we’re talking about
nity, all of the real intermingling of people and different people where the idea of membership doesn’t make sense
personalities. But the fragmentation leaves people isolated to them. I built a community I wanted to raise my family
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Jewish standard JULY 6, 2018 35


Allen had back-to-back aliyot, and were showered with

Ani Ledodi candy bags as they stood together on the bimah after
a joint mi shabeyrach was recited. And one week later
redrafting, all the various vendor contracts (without, our nuclear family again celebrated, this time at a more While she’ll always be
unfortunately, being able to charge my old hourly rate);
and after signing numerous checks — now I have a better
private Shabbat Kallah in our home, with a few family
guests from the Upper West Side, Canada, and Israel.
my daughter and in
appreciation for what preparation truly means. At the wedding, there also were countless mean- some ways my baby,
Of course, I also learned about the myriad number of
ways things can go wrong: deadlines not met, alterations
ingful moments, both private and public: watching
my daughter Micole playing her oldest sibling role to
there’s now another
requiring re-alterations, finished products not looking perfection and being the necessary calming influence man in her life with a
the way they were promised or containing (our) typos
thus requiring reprinting, mail not being delivered (both
on her younger sister when times became tense; run-
ning between the traditional chatan’s tisch and the
relationship, though
invitations and response cards), and one of my two new increasingly popular kallah’s tisch, where Gabrielle’s different, that equals
bow ties ordered specifically for the chuppah arriv-
ing the day after the wedding, to name just a few. (In
sisters, relatives, and friends chanted Shir HaShirim,
joyfully sang, and spoke words of Torah and poetry,
mine. It’s heartwarming
truth, this is exaggerated. Not everything went wrong; and Gabrielle sang a memorable blessing of shehechi- and heartbreaking all
indeed, many more things went smoothly and just as we
planned. But it’s human nature, I guess, that the screw-
yanu; accompanying Allen, with his father, Ray, to the
badekin; kvelling over our grandchildren, Ezra, Aviva,
at the same time.
ups seem to be more memorable.) and Liora, the most handsome ring bearer and cutest
And yet, thoughts of all the good, the aggravating, and flower girls ever ( just try to convince me otherwise); relationship, a revised cover of John Denver’s “For
the expensive experiences of preparation evaporated listening to Allen’s aunt Nancy reciting under the out- Baby (Bobbie).”
from my mind the moment I clasped Gabrielle’s right door chuppah (rain threatened but it held off, thank “For Baby” was scheduled for my dance with Gabri-
hand and my wife Sharon clasped her left and we began God) a special tefillah found in R’ Amram Gaon’s 9th elle. But since the band member who knew it wasn’t
walking slowly down the aisle to the Chabad anim zem- century siddur that in a lyrical alphabetical acros- present, there was no one to play it. Not a problem,
irot, with smiles on our faces and tears — perhaps only tic enumerates the reciprocity of love and support though. I gave my iPhone to the sound technician, and,
metaphorical but there in some sense nonetheless — in between bride and groom. on an otherwise empty dance floor, Gabrielle and I were
our eyes. And: Gabrielle and Allen’s good friend, Rav Ezra Selig- able to dance to Mary’s touching rendition of what the
As I stood under the heirloom hand-painted silk son, lovingly officiating at his first wedding; warmly Kaplan family calls the Rainbow Song, thus allowing me
chuppah that was personally created by our artist greeting and celebrating with friends, some made in to sing softly in her ear, probably for the last time, these
daughter Daniele for Raquel’s wedding, and that we just the last few years and others dating back to first oh so special words.
hope will continue to be used at family weddings, I felt grade (you do the math); exuberant family simcha danc- “I’ll walk in the rain by your side/ I’ll cling to the
that although it’s not a Jewish custom, I gave Gabrielle ing (Kaplan, Glenn, and Kaplan-Glenn); a surprise song warmth of your tiny hand/ I’ll do anything to help you
away twice: first, when she dropped my hand, and written especially for Gabrielle and Allen and sung to understand/ I love you more than anybody can.
accompanied by Sharon and her almost-but-not-quite- them during the program; the quiet generosity of my “And the wind will whisper your name to me/ Little
yet-mother-in-law Marla, circled Allen seven times, first son-in-law, Jason, who took charge of the exhaust- birds will sing along in time/ The leaves will bow down
and then a second time when, after Allen put the wed- ing and critically important job of packing everything as you walk by/ And morning bells will chime.
ding ring on her finger while reciting the traditional and everybody needed for the wedding, getting it and “I’ll be there when you’re feeling down/ To kiss away
Jewish declaration of marriage, she responded with a them to the shul on time, unpacking and knowing where the tears that you cry/ I’ll share with you all the happi-
more modern halachic declaration that she accepted everything was, and then doing the same thing for the ness I’ve found/ A reflection of the love in your eyes.
the ring and thereby became married to him kedat trip home; and, well, and on and on. “And I’ll sing you the songs of the rainbow/Whisper
Moshe v’Yisrael. That sealed it. While she’ll always be So I will end with the moment that personally all the joy that is mine/ The leaves will bow down as you
my daughter and in some ways my baby, there’s now touched me the deepest. I’ve been an avid Peter Paul walk by/ And morning bells will chime.
another man in her life with a relationship, though dif- & Mary fan since I bought their first record album (yes,
ferent, that equals mine. It’s heartwarming and heart- record album) when I was a high school junior, and Joseph C. Kaplan, a regular columnist, is a long-time
breaking all at the same time. all of their music now lives on my iTunes app. All of resident of Teaneck. His work also has appeared in
There were many other special moments. Prior to it. And over a period of more than 20 years, I put all various publications including Sh’ma magazine, the New
the wedding we celebrated at a joint aufruf at a part- four of my daughters to bed by singing PP&M’s ten- York Jewish Week, the Baltimore Jewish Times, and, as
nership minyan at Darchei Noam, where Gabrielle and der and emotional paean to the special parent-child letters to the editor, the New York Times.

Letters FROM PAGE 24

Remember why the refugees flee channels, and not from criminals, we will be complicit in darkness, poor street lighting, dark clothing and head-
The horrors occurring on our borders and beyond have the violence and crimes that propel these desperate men lights from oncoming cars created low visibility and sub-
the attention of the nation. However, one aspect has not and women and children to our border. sequently a dangerous environment for tragedy.
had enough attention. That is the relationship between It is high time that we legalized drugs and created a This isn’t a new issue in suburban communities, but I do
our decades-long failure to solve the drug problem and sane, legal way for addicts to obtain them. By doing so, not see many people actually wearing the reflector straps
our delegation to the criminals of the role of supplier. not only would we reduce the flow of refugees, but we offered by many synagogues. I didn’t notice one person
Our country casts a dark shadow on the Central Ameri- would greatly benefit both the people of Central America from the exiting crowd making use of these important
can nations from which these refugees are fleeing. It is and our own people. items.
our demand for illegal drugs that creates the criminal Norman H. Rosen One suggestion: Perhaps near the exit doors synagogues
syndicates that control the supply of drugs and therefore Englewood could provide a ready, permanent supply of a reflective
become so rich, powerful, and violent that no local gov- patch that could easily clip onto clothing. There may be a
ernments can control them. The helpless people at our Be careful walking home greater likelihood for people to take one and use it.
doorstep are our responsibility because their plight is from shul in the dark Some reminder for safer nighttime walking is especially
caused by us. A quick errand immediately after Shabbat had me driv- crucial during the warmer months.
Until we have a same drug policy under which Ameri- ing on local streets, passing people still walking home Susan Berger
can addicts can obtain their needed drugs through legal from synagogue. As I drove I was shaken to see how much Teaneck


 Real Estate & Business

Holy Name awarded state

funds to support end-of-life care
Holy Name Medical Center in Teaneck announced that help patients and families understand the difference eight key initiatives, including the development of a model
Villa Marie Claire hospice was awarded a state budget and maximize the moments they share in their final for end-of-life-care in New Jersey, which will address every
appropriation for the second consecutive year to fund months, weeks, days or hours together.” aspect of care in the two years leading up to a person’s
the development of a model for end-of-life care in New According to the Dartmouth Atlas of Health Care death and the 12 months following it; the development of
Jersey. Signed into law by Governor Murphy, the $3 Report, New Jersey is ranked lower than any other education, training, and state certification courses for doc-
million appropriation was sponsored by Senator Paul state in the nation in the use of hospice and pallia- tors, nurses, social workers, and other healthcare profes-
Sarlo (D-36), Assemblyman Gordon Johnson (D-37), tive care. It also revealed New Jersey residents spend sionals; research comparing end-of-life-experience and
and Senate Majority Leader Loretta Weinberg (D-38). 44-percent more days in the intensive care unit com- quality of life for those enrolled and not enrolled in hospice
“Holy Name is proud to continue leading this com- pared to the average American and 30 percent more programs; and policy recommendations for the state legis-
prehensive effort to improve the quality of end-of- days in the hospital in the last six months of life. lature to consider.
life care in New Jersey, using Villa Marie Claire as a “This funding supports the full spectrum of end-of- For information about Villa Marie Claire, go to VillaMar-
statewide model,” said Michael Maron, president and life care, encompassing the patient, family, caregiver, or call (201) 783-8870.
CEO of Holy Name Medical Center. “One of the most provider, and community,” Maron said. “Creating a
important healthcare reforms our state must address standard for the appropriate use of end-of-life-care
is improving care for patients in the final chapters of resources will result in a reduction in state and fed-
their lives. We know that while life-extending care eral costs stemming from unnecessary hospital admis-
and other medical treatments may lengthen life, it sions, ER visits, procedures, tests, and treatment.”
may be at the expense of quality of life. Our goal is to The budget appropriation will support the project’s
Investment Opportunities
Kids of Courage takes Miami
It’s kickoff time! For Kids of Courage, supporting sick come together with K.O.C. and Team Courage for a 4 25 Broadway, Elmwood Park, NJ
children and their families is its core mission. With day/3 night stay at a 5-star luxury hotel on the beautiful
Martin H. Basner, Realtor Associate
amazing trips, community events, electrifying week- beaches of Miami, stepping off their flight and into cus-
(Office) 201-794-7050 · (Cell) 201-819-2623
ends, and the greatest team through it all, K.O.C. does tom K.O.C. gear. The fully catered weekend includes all
what it takes to bring kids joy and adventure, no matter meals, an uplifting Shabbos experience, K.O.C.’s famous
what their diagnosis. As K.O.C. celebrates its 10th year, pre-race pasta party, a victory party, admission to the
the organization laces up for another action-packed marathon or half marathon, and of course the oppor-
marathon weekend in Miami Beach, Florida. tunity to meet their courageous campers and dedicated
It’s the group’s eighth year running, walking, and volunteers.
rolling through the marathon, and you can already feel “It’s bound to be our biggest year yet,” says Howie
the excitement! On Sunday, January 27th 2019, Kids of Kafka, co-founder of Kids of Courage. “With over 100
Courage will join thousands of individuals and teams at people joining the Race For Courage team, we are
the Fitbit Miami Marathon and Half Marathon, as part thrilled to see the sense of community that will take
of a fun, inspiring, and courageous weekend. The funds place!” 396 Forest Avenue, Paramus NJ 07652
raised to compete with Race For Courage will go toward Along with the Miami air, your participation in this
an organization that creates bright smiles and incredible wonderful event will warm the hearts of Couragers even Restricted affordable housing -1 bedroom
experiences for seriously ill children — and turn their before the start line. apartment for rent on a first come, first serve basis.
dreams into reality, mile by mile. Get a head start and register today at RaceForCour- Balance of applicants will be placed on
Runners and walkers from across the country will for the experience of a lifetime. a waiting list for the next available unit.
The following amenities are included in the rent:
• All utilities (except phone)
• Breakfast and dinner prepared by a chef -
prepared meals are included in the monthly fee
• Housekeeping & linen change service
• Scheduled transportation
Four evenings of music on tap • Staff on site 24 hours
• Emergency 911 response system
at Overpeck Park concert series The rent range for a one-person household is
Bergen County Executive Jim Tedesco and the Seating is available on the park lawn and people $2,556.00-$3,408.00 with a minimum gross
Board of Chosen Freeholders invite everyone are welcome to bring chairs or blankets; a food household income of $38,340.00-$51,120.00
to the free music concert series at the Overpeck vendor will sell food. The rent range for a two-person household is
County Park Amphitheater this July and August. All concerts begin at 7:30 p.m. $2,920.00-$3,627.00 with a minimum gross
household income of $43,800.00-$54,400.00
Thursday, July 12: Billy Gilman — Gillman was a finalist on Season 11 of NBC’s The Voice.
Applications are available by emailing
Thursday, July 19: “Home Again” — a tribute to the music of Carole King. or picked up
Monday-Friday from 9am-4pm at
Thursday, July 26: “New York Bee Gees” — a group that performs songs from every decade Paramus Affordable Housing
of the Bee Gees catalog. 105 N. Farview Avenue, Paramus
Thursday, August 8: “Radio Nashville” — a new wave country act that covers hits from artists including If assistance is required in completing the application,
you may request an appointment with the Administrative
Carrie Underwood, Lady Antebellum, Blake Shelton, Band Perry, and Miranda Lambert.
Agent, Diane Gloria, by calling 201-265-2100 ext. 2220


Real Estate & Business



Jewish woman becomes mayor of Mexico City

According to exit polls, the first woman crack down on crime here,” she told
to be elected mayor of Mexico City is also attendees at a Mexico City rally. “I will.”
the city’s first Jewish one: local politician Sheinbaum’s grandparents emigrated
and scientist Claudia Sheinbaum. to Mexico City from Lithuania and Bul-
Sheinbaum entered politics after garia, and she told a Jewish audience in
working as an environmental engineer the city that they would celebrate all the
at the National Autonomous University Jewish holidays together.
of Mexico. Mexico City is home to almost all of
“Just because I might look like a skinny Mexico’s Jews, which is a community of
scientist doesn’t mean I’m not going to approximately 40,000 people. JNS.ORG

IDF grants entry to six Syrians

in wake of Assad attacks
In what the Israel Defense Forces called aid to camps that are filled with tens of
a “unique and complex medical oper- thousands of refugees along Israel’s bor-
ation,” four newly orphaned Syrian der. Aid included 13 tons of food, 15 tons of
children and two Syrian adults were baby food, three pallets filled with medi-
brought into Israel on Friday night for cal supplies, 30 tons of clothes and shoes,
humanitarian medical aid. and 300 tents.
Call Susan Laskin Today The six were injured in a renewed “The IDF is monitoring what is going
To Make Your Next Move A Successful One! offensive against anti-regime forces in on in southern Syria and is prepared for
the southwestern Daraa region and were a variety of scenarios, including continu- Cell: 201-615-5353
allowed entry to Israel after local lead- ing to provide humanitarian aid to fleeing
©2018 Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. Coldwell Banker is a registered trademark licensed to Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC.
An Equal Opportunity Company. Equal Housing Opportunity. Owned and Operated by NRT LLC. ers made contact with the Jewish state to Syrians. The IDF will not allow Syrian refu-
ask for help. The children’s parents were gees into Israeli territory and will continue
believed to be killed in the attacks, and to act to protect Israel’s security interests,”
NVE-3524 Revise Rate Spring Mortgage Ad 5x6.5_NVE-3518 5/16/18 2:49 PM Page 1 received first aid to stabilize them before a military spokesperson said.
they were brought to an undisclosed hos- Israel has treated thousands of chroni-
pital in Israel’s north. cally ill and war-injured Syrians since 2013,
The four children included three girls, and supplied hundreds of tons of humani-
6, 7, and 10 years old, and a 14-year-old tarian aid to nearby Syrian citizens.
Mortgage rates and options are blooming at NVE Bank. boy. The three girls all suffered head Of the 4,800 people treated in field
wounds, and the boy had stomach and and public hospitals in northern Israel,
shrapnel wounds. Two men, 19 and 25 approximately half were children.
15-YEAR years old, with injuries to their legs, also A clinic Israel opened in cooperation
7-YEAR MORTGAGE 25-YEAR were admitted. with international aid organizations on
MORTGAGE MORTGAGE The rare refuge was offered after the the border in 2017 has treated an addi-
IDF provided several tons of humanitarian tional 6,000 Syrian patients.
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Jimmy the Junk Man

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*APR = Annual Percentage Rate. APR is accurate as of 5/15/18 and may vary based on loan amounts. Loans
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Subject to credit approval.
Bergenfield I Closter I Cresskill I Englewood I Hillsdale I Leonia I New Milford I Teaneck I Tenafly


Your one stop grill shop
We carry a wide assortment of High Quality Beef, Lamb, Veal &
Poultry along with pre marinated, ready to grill items.
You can find an array of Spices, Sauces and Condiments to
compliment our meats.
Don't forget our Fresh Fruits & Vegetables...
They go great on the grill or even as
a healthy snack or dessert!

Heading upstate for visiting day,

we’ll pack up some of your favorites to go.
Send us an email to