Aw ar en ess
By Henr y Thacher
Vol u m e 49A, I ssu e 6
Cam p Cl asses Th at Wou l d Be Aw esom e Bu t Wou l d
Sh u t Dow n Cam p
By Lucia Saenz (Blue Hat Sm iley Face Per son)
1. ?Go Kar t Class? ? because go kar ts ar e fun but if
som eone w ent cr azy they w ould cr ash into tr ees and
cam p buildings w hich w ould shut dow n cam p.
2. ?Fun Flam ethr ow er s? ? because, ever ything about
flam ethr ow er s.
3. ?M eet Rhinos!? ? The M eet Rhinos class invites
r hinos to destr oy cam p and allow s cam per s to pr obably
get eaten by the r hinos. But it?s still fun.
4. ?Sleep!? (Ever y Per iod) ? Anybody that picks this
class for num ber 1 in any per iod they get the class for
ever y per iod! In the sleep class all you do is sleep.
5. ?Basket-Rock? ? You w ould think Basket-Rock w ould
be doing r ock m usic w hile playing basketball, but no.
Basket-Rock is basketball but w ith r ocks so if w ould
kinda sm ash on the floor and dent it until the r eal
school shuts dow n CRCAP.
W hy you sh ou l d n ot cl ose you r eyes w h i l e goi n g t o
you r pi an o t each er ?s h ou se.
By Louise Stedm an
Hello, today I w ill be telling you a stor y about a
good fr iend of m ine nam ed Piper. You m ay know her
fr om the ar ticle ?W hat Baked Good Ar e You,? ?W hy Not
To Go Ghosting In The W ind,? and m any m or e
hum or ous ar ticles, but her e I am r unning out of tim e so
lets get star ted. One day w hile Piper w as about to go to
her piano teacher ?s house w her e she had gone over 100
tim es, she said to her self, ?since I have been to this
place so m any tim es befor e I am going to w alk all the
w ay w ith my eyes closed.? All w as going sm oothly w hen
she hear d som eone call w atch out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because little did she know ther e w as a huge, I
m ean huge snow bank r ight in fr ont of her , and I guess
you can im agine w hat she did... she tum bled r ight over
it and cr ashed onto a tr ee. Oh now the bell is r inging,
gotta go bye.
This is the fir st in a ser ies of ar ticles
r aising aw ar eness and dispr oving myths
about things people find im por tant. If you
have a ser ious suggestion, put it in the
?Aw ar eness? pocket on the cafeter ia
stair w ay. This ar ticle w ill be about
depr ession.
Depr ession is som ething that
afflicts m any people. It is a com m on
affliction, and yet I have m et so m any
people w ho ask m e things like, ?So, you?r e
sad?? w hen they lear n I have depr ession,
so I decided to w r ite this ar ticle to help
educate people about it.
Depr ession, like anxiety and
autism , is a w ide spectr um , fr om thinking
about death to being so sad and hopeless
that you can?t get out of bed in the
m or ning, w hich m akes it har d to w r ite
ver y specifically about it. But basically,
depr ession is a disor der that m akes people
constantly feel sad and hopeless, even if
they don?t r ealize it. It also enhances and
enlar ges sadness such as the kind you feel
w hen people call you nam es. For m any
people, depr ession lur ks in their
subconscious, sneaking bits of
unhappiness into their day little enough
that they don?t notice.
Accor ding to the Wor ld Health
Or ganization, appr oxim ately 350 m illion
people w or ldw ide have depr ession, m any
of w hom don?t even know it. Depr ession is
also one of the leading causes of suicide, as
w ell as feelings of insecur ity, anger , and
sudden m ood sw ings. M any people tr eat
depr essed people as though they?r e
gar bage, to be avoided and pushed aw ay at
all costs. THIS IS W RONG. People w ith
depr ession should be com for ted and
suppor ted.
Ther e is also a myth that depr ession
causes people to be tr ansgender. This is
not tr ue. How ever , m any tr ans people ar e
pushed aw ay by their fam ily, w hich can
cause depr ession, so they ar e linked.
Additionally, depr ession in som e people
m ay be caused by feelings of unbelonging,
caused in tur n by m ental alignm ent w ith
the opposite gender.
That?s all for today, and r em em ber
to subm it things to my pocket on the
cafeter ia stair w ay!
Th e t op 16 w ei r dest t h i n gs pu l l ed f r om
t h e I deaBox
By Cassidy Kolovos
1. The coolest bone in the human body is
_______________ because __________________.
Uh.. Inter esting. I think it?s the fem ur.
2. M ummies having a wrap battle.
I thought m um m ies w er e dead.
3. Caterpillar president.
That sounds like a cocoon w all to m e.
4. Ways this room could be improved by
adding dangerous traps.
I think Walker Ander son is enough.
5. Soren should dye his beard hot pink.
You m ean Wum bo.
6. The world cup for anything other than
soccer.
Uh.. Water Polo, Fr isbee Golf or Javelin
Toss.
7. No u.
No u. Not no m e.
8. W ho wants?
W ho w ants w hat? This is confuzzling.
9. Advice for advice columnists.
M y advice for you is no advice.
10. Body part you could do without?
Uhh? M y br ain?
11. RJ is a toilet hacker.
W ho is RJ?
12. Lists of Lists.
List1, List2, List3, List9
13. Pencils v.s. Pens.
Pens because they can er ase.
14. W hy is RJ so extra?
W HO IS RJ?!
15. Clapping for beginners.
????????????????????????????
16. W hat the kids are talking about these
days.
Food, For tnite and the Fr iend-Zone
I n Th e Begi n n i n g, At Th e En d
By Nico Di An-JELL-O
Hi guys! Today, I w r ote som ething like poetr y, but
not quite. I know it seem s like w eir d tr ee hugging stuff
at the star t, and then r eally m or bid, and then back to
tr ee hugging, but I kind of had this idea in my head for
a long tim e, and I w anted to get this dow n on paper.
You m ay have r ead som ething like this, w ith lots of the
sam e stuff, but I pr om ise I haven?t, and I?m not
plagiar ising anything, cr oss my hear t and hope to die.
Anyw ay, her e goes.
In the beginning, gr ass gr ew. The tr ees
flour ished, and they w er e as tall as skyscr aper s.
M ountains w er e filled w ith peaks, cliffs, and canyons,
and they w er e the beauties of M other Natur e. Below
them , gaping valleys of gr een. In the Ar ctic, glacier s
w er e gigantic building blocks of ice, lar ger than any
city cr eated. W hen the deser ts w er e cr eated, the sands
spar kled like diam onds, and the br ight sun bur ned in
all its glor y over ever ything, taking its place in a sky of
beautiful blue. At night, the m oon cam e and shined
silver dow n onto the lands.
At the end, The sky w ill be r ed. Sm oke w ill hover
in the air and suffocate us all. Acid r ain w ill pour fr om
the sky and bur n our lungs and skin. Buildings w ill be
in r uins, and in it all, the heat w ill dr ench us w ith
sw eat and discom for t. The w hole w or ld w ill dr ow n in
the w ater s after the glacier s have all m elted, and
w hatever is left w ill be a m ess of chaos and w ar. We
w ill see the effects of r adiation ever yw her e, and
sickness w ill spr ead like a fir e. We w on?t be able to see
the sun, or the m oon. Ever ything w ill be m iser y, and
eventually, the hum an r ace w ill be extinguished.
Then, the w or ld w ill heal. Continents w ill slow ly
em er ge fr om the w ater y depths, and the w astelands
w ill becom e over gr ow n w ith gr ass and vegetation.
Then, after the w or ld has healed, new life w ill for m .
And it w ill be a new beginning.
M i l ey Cyr u s?Real Nam e
By Echo Lar sen
Recently, I found out that M iley Cyr us changed her
nam e w hen she w as 15. At 15, she changed her nam e to
M iley Ray Cyr us. Her given nam e w as Destiny Hope
Cyr us. But she changed it. The Hannah M ontana star
has been called M iley since she w as a baby. The
nicknam e or iginated fr om her father , countr y singer
and actor Billy Ray Cyr us, w hen he r ealized that his
little gir l sm iled all the tim e. I w anted to w r ite about
this because in all my year s of liking M iley Cyr us?
songs, I had never know n she had ever changed her
nam e.
Noooooooo!
By Leila New m an
Today I am her e to tell you the stor y of a
com plete bebjer bjnjw nvjw j disaster in the
kitchen.
But befor e I tell you this I w ould like to
shar e a quote fr om TOTA fr om our skits fr om
playing categor ies. So I played a gr andm a and
for this quote I give full cr edit to Char lotte for
thinking up this quote and all I did w as say it.
So cr edit to you Char lotte!! And the quote is,
?back in my day apples gr ew on bushes and
car r ots gr ew on tr ees.?
But ther e is one m or e thing I w ould like
to say befor e I star t this stor y. So, today in Daily
Double w e had an am azing guest appear ance
by the am azing Addy w ho is Sor en?s daughter.
So I just w anted to m ention that.
And now finally I w ill tell you the stor y
of the kitchen disaster. It w as a few hour s
befor e my bir thday par ty and I had an activity
because I have a tw in so w e decided to at one
point to br anch off dur ing the par ty and my
tw in w ould do an ar t cr aft and I w ould do a
desser t in the kitchen. So my kitchen pr oject
w as r ock candy geos fr om a w ebsite called
HOW TOCOOKTHAT.net and w e had to m ake
fondant but the video didn?t tell us how to m ake
fondant so w e looked ever yw her e for a r ecipe
but w hen w e tr ied it the fir st tim e it didn?t w or k
out at all so w e ended up tr ying again and again
until on the 4th tr y it still didn?t w or k . But then
w e w ent to Par ty City to look for an ingr edient
in fondant that w e didn?t have but they didn?t
have ever y tim e w e tr ied and failed w e had
kept using a substitute for it, but w hen w e got
ther e they didn?t have it but online joanns
fabr ic had it so w e w ent ther e but appar ently
they had stopped selling it but w hen w e got
back our m ost r ecent attem pt looked and felt
like fondant but w e still got fondant fr om the
stor e.
We w er e r eady for the par ty!!1!!! We
still hadn?t tr ied the w hole thing, w e just tr ied
the fondant. So at the par ty I used the
hom em ade fondant w hile ever yone else used
the stor e bought fondant. So w hen w e pour ed
the sugar syr up w e had to let them sit for 12
hour s so w e w er e going to deliver them in that
w eek . But w hen w e cut them off the plate. (I
accidentally stabbed myself.) They hadn?t
cr ystalized at all, and then it w as so hor r ible
and the hom em ade fondant com pletely failed
and so w e ended up thr ow ing it all aw ay and
that is the end of the hor r ible kitchen disaster.
Adios, folks!!!
Th e Wal k er Fi l es #4
By Eliza
OK. Today I got a note in my box and this
is w hat it said: ?I suspect that articles are
hypnotizing people into thinking Walker is
innocent? M abey?
I think this is ver y tr ue because after
anyone r eads that Walker is good they alw ays
tr y to m ake ever yone else tr y to think that
Walker is good! Also, this is how you spell
?m aybe?: ?m aybe?. Anyw ay, this m ust be
im por tant so ever yone m ake sur e to stay aw ay
fr om the ?good Walker ? stuff. #Fir eWalker
Also, other Walker hater s, I w ould like to
join/for m a Walker hate squad.
Al l Abou t Wal k er (Fak e I n t er v i ew )
By Saskia
W hat is your name?
?M y nam e is WALKER? Scr eeches a tiny voice of
hor r or.
W hat do your friends call you?
?Fr iends? W hat? M ost people call m e WALKER
The Soul Sucking M ango of Death and Doom .?
We heard the screeching again.
W hy do you like working as a camp newspaper
editor?
?Because I get to suck the souls of innocent
cam per s!? He scr eeched.
M ov i e r ev i ew
By Helina Lifshatz
Have you ever w atched the m ovie The
Incredibles? It is about a fam ily of super her oes.
Elastigir l: she is ver y flexible and can bend into
anything. Dash: he is a kid ver sion of The Flash
and can even r un on w ater. Violet: she can
becom e invisible, but that doesn't stop her fr om
being solid! M r. Incr edible: He has super
str ength and dur ability. All super her oes have
been banned by the gover nm ent fr om using
their pow er s, but the Incr edibles have to fight a
huge, pow er ful, r ound r obot. For som e r eason
14 year s(now ) later they decide to m ake a
second m ovie. You can w atch it in the m ovie
theater but not at hom e yet. I liked this m ovie
because it is funny and about team w or k . Hope
you enjoy the m ovie!
W h i ch M edi eval Bat t l esh i p ar e
you ?
By Ben Cr able
Question 1: You and your friends
are walking down an alley when
all of a sudden, Walker appears
and tries to suck you and your
friends souls. W hat do you do?
A: I car r y my fr iends and get out
of the alley!
B: Because I am so thin I can
easily battle Walker and r un aw ay
C: Beat him up because he is
tr ying to suck my soul
Question 2: W here are you most
likely to be found?
A: In inland seas such as the
M editer r anean
B: In the Indian Ocean
C: Thr oughout Eur ope
Question 3: W hen running to get to
the lunch line, where are you in
the line?
A: M iddle par t of the line
B: I'm alw ays the fir st per son
C: If I'm lucky I?m the second to
last per son
Question 4: W hat are you best at?
A: Tr anspor ting tr oops acr oss the
ocean
B: Tr aveling fr om India to Afr ica
C: Battle other ships w ith lots of
ar tiller y
Question 5: Do you believe that in
the Harry Potter World, the Soviet
Union collapsed?
A: Yes
B: w ut
C: No
If you answ er ed m ostly A?s, then
you ar e a galley! You suppor t
your fr iends and ar e ver y
athletic.
If you answ er ed m ostly B?s, then
you ar e a car avel! You ar e super
athletic and can r un a long w ay!
If you answ er ed m ostly C?s, then
you ar e a car r ack! You ar e big,
str ong, and can beat up anyone
that com es in your w ay!
Oh m y God!
By M s. Som eone
Hi guys! A few days ago dur ing Festival Per iod in the Daily
Double r oom w e got a shipm ent of a bunch of bulletin boar ds!
People kept on saying ?Oh my god!!!!? Ser iously, w hy is getting
a bunch of bulletin boar ds ?Oh my God? w or thy!?!? Also,
w her e ar e the bulletin boar ds fr om ? W hat w ill w e use them
for ? M aybe the SOUL SUCKING M ANGO sent them to distr act
us! W hat is Walker planning? Well sucking souls duhhh, but
m aybe ther e?s som ething else! M y ar ticle has com e to a close.
Goodbye, Cam per s!
10 St eps t o h el p avoi d Wal k -Pock ol i ps
By Walker Adam s
1. Figur e out w her e Walker Is, The far ther aw ay you ar e fr om
him , the sm aller of a chance for your soul to be eaten.
2. Get indoor s; Walker uses the sun?s ener gy to steal souls.
3. Get aw ay fr om M ike and Kelsey T.; they ar e par t of the
Or der.
4. Do a 5k w alk for Walker ; doing a 5k Is healthy and the sw eat
fr om the 5k w alk confuses Walker.
5. Find a cow bell; the sound blocks Walker ?s evil pow er s fr om
w or king.
6. Get close to Aar on; Walker is scar ed of Aar on
7. Escape Fr om Daily Double; if you take Daily Double or any
other of Walker ?s classes, ESCAPE!
8. Take fr equent w ater br eaks; it takes 50 m inutes to steal a
soul. Ever y tim e you take a w ater br eak, the clock r esets.
9. Watch ASM R. Just Because you can.
10. If pr evious ones failed, r un Aw ay; JUST RUN AWAY, RUN,
RUNNN!!! FIND THE NEAREST EXIT AND RUN!!!
#NotM ySoul #WakeUpSheeple #5kWalker For Walker
#DontWalk #M ySoulisM ySoul #GetYour Ow nSoul
#Or der OfTheM ango #StopTheOr der #ResistWalker
#Fir eWalker
#SueWalker #YouRottenM ango #DontEatTheM ango
#StaySafeCRCAP #DontEat #DabOnWalker
#Walker IsTheM angoDevil #M ySoulFor M e #DontBeAWalker
#WalkAw ay #Walker InABottle #Walker IsYoM um
#Star tToTalkAndStopTheWalk
#WeAr eOnAHighWayToWalker Hell
#Don?tSubscr ibeToWalker OnYoutube #RJandKelseyTAr e
InTheOr der #Walker ?sM ustacheIsTheDevilsAr m pitHair
#Walker IsAntiSuper m an #RunFor Your Life
Th e Lu k u r zagah n Con spi r acy
By Nico Di An-JELL-O
Ther e is a countr y in the M iddle East
called Lukur zagahn. It is ver y sm all,
appr oxim ately 180 squar e m iles. It is said to
be one of the m ost beautiful countr ies in the
w or ld. It is m ainly a ver y hilly countr y, w ith
a lush for est nam ed the Yufaknus Woods. It
also has a sm all deser t, nam ed the
Im donw i. The m ost fam ous delicacy of
Lukur zagahn is the Labaflann, a desser t,
w hich is like like flann, but m or e bur ned. It
also consists of str aw ber r ies, and it tastes
fr uity. About 432,900 people live in
Lukur zagahn. It is a Com m unist Countr y.
The r eligion in the countr y is m ainly
Lukur zagahnist (A r eligion der ived fr om
Lukur zagahn), M uslim , and 3% Buddhist.
All of these facts ar e m eaningless.
They w er e to bor e those w ho ar en?t as
intellectual as us, so as to keep them fr om
r eading this. Know that this is classified
infor m ation, and that you shouldn?t know
this. It is a m essage fr om the--never m ind
you don?t need to know that.
The countr y Lukur zagahn doesn?t
legally exist. You can?t find it on the
inter net, in any legal files, encyclopedia, or
other w ise. All those facts ar e infor m ation
that any gover nm ent official w ould tell you
is r idiculous. Even its sur r ounding
countr ies don't know it exists. How does it
keep hidden? Well, I need to know
som ething fir st. Have you seen the m ovie
Black Panther ? In it, the countr y Wakanda
keeps hidden w ith a cloaking shield. It is the
sam e w ith Lukur zaghan. All you see w hen
you look at that spot is a beautiful for est
that is illegal to enter because it is a cor ner
of natur e pr eser ved by the ?gover nm ent.?
How ever , it isn?t like you could just sneak in
and find it. Once you enter the ar ea, those
w ho ar en?t Lukur zagahnian still don?t see,
hear or sm ell anything besides w hat the
Lukur zagahns w ant them to see, hear or
sm ell. Once they enter , they br eath in a
special gas that m akes them see for est, but
that Lukur zagahns ar e used to.
Lukur zagahn vir tually does not exist. I hope
that, even though you now know this, you
don?t speak about it, lest the Lukur zagahns
be found and their peaceful lifestyle com e
to an end. Do the r ight thing. I?m tr usting
you w ith this know ledge, so don?t fail m e
and expose the Lukur zagahns.
M y Tak e on Fu r r i es (A.K.A) W hy do peopl e n ot l i k e
f u r r i es.
By Walker Adam s
Hello, Today I w ill be talking about my take on
fur r ies. I know a lot of people don't like them , but just
hear m e out. my ar gum ent w ill hopefully change
your m ind about fur r ies.
* Par tial* Definition: The fur r y fandom is a subcultur e
inter ested in fictional anthr opom or phic anim al
char acter s w ith hum an per sonalities and
char acter istics. Exam ples of anthr opom or phic
attr ibutes include exhibiting hum an intelligence and
facial expr essions, speaking, w alking on tw o legs, and
w ear ing clothes. (Sour ce: W ikipedia)
Appar ently, a lot of people do not like fur r ies. I
know ther e ar e r easons for that w hich I w ill explain
later in this ar ticle. But let m e tell you about the good
things fir st.
Fur r ies help people expr ess how they feel, and
show w ho they ar e. Som etim es fur r ies help people
com e out about being hom osexual, bisexual,
pansexual, dem isexual, tr ansgender and tr anssexual
(along w ith other sexuality and gender s). Fur r ies also
can help people escape fr om r eal w or ld pr oblem s by
dr essing in a fur suit and pr etending to be som ething
they?r e not. Im agine a day w hen nothing goes r ight
and you w ant to escape. You just dr ess up like a fur r y
and for get about your pr oblem s.
Fur r y fanar t: W HY DO PEOPLE HATE FURRY
FANART?!? Fur r y fanar t is just people show ing their
love for fur r ies thr ough dr aw ing and painting. I know
that once in a w hile, fur r y fan ar t can be a bit
inappr opr iate. Well, have you ever gone to a m useum
and seen a pictur e of som eone naked? A m useum is
sor t of like a fur r y fan ar t page, except w ith anim als
(and anim als ar e naked in the fir st place).
Fur sonas: for som e r eason, people think they
ar e w eir d. How is a dr aw ing that has a per sonality
and feelings w eir d? A fur sona is like a still anim e TV
show.
Thank you for r eading my ar gum ent, I hope I
changed your m ind about fur r ies. #FURRIESAREFUN
#DONTHATEONFURRIES
I Don ?t Kn ow W h at To Wr i t e.
By Lucia Saenz
I don?t know w hat to w r ite so I?m just gonna say som e
cool stuff. M y fir st w or d w as ?Or eo?. M y half bir thday
is on Chr istm as. I don?t have a m iddle nam e. I love to
dr aw. I love chips. I am eating chips w hile i?m w r iting
this ar ticle. Cheese blocks w ear shir ts. Paper clips ar e
hiding in bags of snacks. Teeth ar e cr eepy. I have
never tr ied dr agon fr uit. I absolutely HATE bananas.
And I still don?t know w hat to w r ite. Bye!
Ar e You A Com m u n i st on t h e I n si de? Tak e Th i s Qu i z t o Fi n d Ou t ! W h i ch CRCAP Bu i l di n g Ar e
By Nico Di An-JELL-O You ?
By Echo Lar sen
Out of these five, what is your favorite color?
A: Red 1) How do people describe you?
B: Blood Or ange a) Cr eative
C: Yellow b) Quiet
D: Blue c) Fun
E: Gr een d) Dead

W hat is your favorite construction tool? 2) W hat is your favorite

A: Ham m er animal?
B: Nails a) Bir d
C: Pr y bar s b) Tur tle
D: Saw c) Cheetah
E: Dr ills d) ?

How much do you eat grown food (i.e. corn, strawberries, carrots)? 3) Are you honest?
A: 90% of the tim e a) Som etim es
B: 75% of the tim e b) Totally!
C: 50% of the tim e c) Heh? no.
D: 25% of the tim e d) ?
E: 0-10% of the tim e
4) Cats or dogs? (PS: Cats 4
Out of these five, what is your favorite country? lifeeeeee!!!!!!!)
A: China a) Blehhhh? dogs
B: Vietnam b) CATS 4 LIFE
C: Russia c) Uhhh? idk
D: Lukur zagahn d) ?
E: Am er ica
5) W hat is your favorite color?
If you got m ostly A?s, you ar e definitely fully a com m unist. You ar e a a) Blue
fan of agr icultur e and w or king. You believe pr oper ty should be b) Pink
ow ned by a com m unity, not a single per son. You think ever yone c) Red
should be paid accor ding to that individual?s abilities and needs. d) ?

If you got m ostly B?s, you ar e m ostly a com m unist. You m ay believe M ostly a: M iddle Building
that your com m unity should get som e shar e of people?s pr oper ty, M ostly b: Com m unity Building
but you think that people should ow n som e of it, too. You m ay like M ostly c: Activity Center
agr icultur e and gr ow ing food for other s benefit. You ar e about 20% M ostly d: The Old Cr eative
or so som ething else. Star ts Building (PS: You ar e
dead.)
If you got m ostly C?s, you ar e 50% com m unist. You m ay like or ganic
or gr ow n foods, but not that m uch. You believe people should Hel l o, Peopl e
benefit fr om each other ?s w or k and land, but you still w ant to ow n By M yster ious Hum an
your pr oper ty.
Hello, people. I am r allying
If you got m ostly D?s, you ar e only 20% com m unist. You believe against the fight w ith Walker.
ever yone should ow n their ow n pr oper ty, and occasionally you Sur e he is sucking the souls of
m ight shar e som e of your food or land w ith som eone. You like a lot innocent cam per s, but
or ganic and gr ow n food, but only a little bit. ever yone gets angr y
som etim es. We should pick
If you got m ostly E?s, you ar e not a com m unist at all. You ar e m ost another one to hate.
likely a capitalist. You believe in an ever y m an for him self #STOPM ANGOHATE
envir onm ent, and only you and your em ployees m ake m oney off of #w hyWalker ?
your tr ade and industr y. You believe pr ivate ow ner s should contr ol #leavethesoulsucker alone
their businesses. #HATESOM EONEELSE
Un t ol d Ru l es abou t CRCAP
By Ben Cr able
Ever yone know s the basic r ules such as
not going behind the buildings, but her e
ar e som e r ules that CRCAP used to have,
but got r id of.
1: No r iding on the school unicor n
Back in m edieval Scotland, a w ealthy king
donated a unicor n to CRCAP because the
king?s son lear ned how to duel fr om the
dueling class at CRCAP. (The dueling class
w as canceled a few year s later , since kids
w er e beating each other up.) The kids
kept clim bing onto the unicor n and tr ying
to r ide it into the sunset. One day a kid
m anaged to r ide the unicor n all the w ay
to Boston w her e it gr ew w ings and flew
acr oss the Atlantic Ocean. To this day no
one has seen this kid, and Aar on II
published the r ule that pr events kids
fr om r iding the Unicor n.
2: No M agic Allow ed on Cam pus
Dur ing the Salem W itch Tr ials, w itch
childr en w er e picked on by Walker I
(pr esent-day Walker ?s father ). Because of
this, Aar on VI outlaw ed m agic on cam pus.
As a r esult, the
tur n-w ater -into-apple-juice class w ith
Dante and Wum bo w as cancelled,
par tially because the kids w er e r eplacing
the near by r eser voir w ith apple juice.
Ever since then Walker II and Wum bo
had to hide their dar k pow er s, except
Walker II r ecently got exposed and has
been called a ?soul-sucking alien m ango?.
3: No Gladiator Battles after Lunch Per iod
In ancient CRCAP, Rom an gladiator battles
becam e the fir st tr end on cam pus.
Cam per s w er e constantly cover ed in
gladiator ar m or and battling each other
over the sm allest things fr om the last slice
of italian pizza to w hose hor se-dr aw n
char iot w ill ar r ive at char iot-pool the
fir st. The pr oblem got so bad that the fir st
Aar on at CRCAP had to per m anently ban
gladiator battles at CRCAP. Out of r evenge,
the Gods bur ied the near by tow n of
Pom peii under ash. But the ban r em ained
in place and soon cam per s w er e m or e
into char iot r aces than gladiator fights.
W hy w e sh ou l d al l l i st en t o M i ch ael Scot t M or e
By M ia Gor don
The Office. W hat a show ! I m ean w ho doesn?t love it?!
You laugh a little, you cr y a little, you cr inge a lot. A
big hum ongous par t of The Office is M ichael Scott.
Not only is M ichael alw ays fabulous, but he also gives
am azing advice. For instance, he says that ?You m iss
100% of the shots you don?t take.? How clever is that?
Only a sm ar t per son could com e up w ith that advice
on their ow n. He?s also quoted saying, ?Don?t ever , for
any r eason, do anything to anyone, ever , no m atter
w hat.? That is just so tr ue, and br eathtaking. He also
says, ?Pr esents ar e the best w ay to show som eone
how m uch you car e. It is like this tangible thing you
can point to and say ?Hey m an, I love you this m any
dollar s w or th.? Am azing r ight? But does anyone take
this advice ser iously? No, no they don?t. So that?s w hy
I'm her e to say that for all these r easons and m or e w e
should all listen to M ichael Scott.
St op t h e Wal k
By Chloe Cr able and Eli Gr assi
We thought of som e hashtags about
stopping the Walk . So w e decided to
show them to you. And w e all now
know these hashtags, so if w e ever
hear one w e know to save a hum an
fr om the Walk .
#NotM ySoul
#M ySoulIsM ySoul
#M ySoulFor M e
#M eSoul
#DontStealM yWonder fulSoulFr om M yWonder fulBody
#Im RunningOutOfHashtags
#DontBeAWalker
#DontWalk
#5KWalkFor Walker
#StopReadingThisAr ticle
#WalkAw ay
#WalkFr om TheWalker
#YouRottenM ango
I know Walker w ill get m ad at m e if i
don?t add m or e sentences so I can just
talk about r andom stuff. I feel like
Walker is tr uly a soul eating m ango.
He is collabor ating w ith ever y
CIT/Counselor in Daily Double. I
believe. If w e unite w e can ? STOP
THE WALK!
W h at Simpsons ch ar act er ar e you ? An I n t er v i ew of Wal k er ?s Sh oes
By Walker Adam s By M ia Gor don

Q: W hat is your favorite color? Q. If you had a reality TV show, what would
A: W hite it be called?
B: Gr een A. ?It?s a M iser able Life.?
C: Yellow
D: Red Q. W here can you be found on a Friday
E: Blue night?
F: Tan A. Life is m eaningless.

Q: W hat is your mental age? Q. How do you feel about the word
A: -39 ?Besmirch??
B: 14 A. W hy do I even tr y?
C: 2
D: 54 Q. W hat?s your happiest memory?
E: 999? A. W hat does it m ean to do? W hat does it
F: 83 m ean to cr eate? W hy ar e w e her e?

Q: W hat is your biggest pet peeve? Q. Do you like Tay Tay?

A: No Donuts A. M y soul-my soul is black like char coal.
B: M aggie getting lost
C: Hom ew or k Q. Your thoughts on Steve Carell?
D: No Hom ew or k A. I like post-br eakdow n Jim Car r ey.
E: Being one m inute w ithout my passafir e
F: Being r em inded of M ona Q. W hat is your favorite color?
A. The color of nothing.
Q: W hat is your catchphrase?
A: DOH! Q. You like jazz?
B: Hm m m m m A. BURN THE BEE M OVIE.
C: Ay car am ba
D: Hi ever yone
E: N/A W h at dog si ze ar e you ?
F: I?m _____, Now I?ll never die By Noah Fallon

Q: W hat animal are you most afraid off? If you know your height, you can figur e
A: Bear s out w hat dog size you ar e!
B: Badger s
C: M y Br other * If you got betw een 0-3 feet, you ar e a ver y
D: Snakes tiny dog! If you w er e a dog, it w ould be as
E: I am not afr aid of anim als, anim als ar e afr aid of sm all as a Chihuahua. You m ight even be a
m e. puppy, and still have gr ow ing to do.
F: Flying Hellfish * If you got betw een 3-4 feet, you ar e sm all
dog, but not ver y sm all. It could com par e
If you got m ostly A, You ar e Hom er Sim pson ? You to a pug.
ar e stupid, Ver y, Ver y Stupid. * If you got betw een 4-5 feet, you ar e a
If you got m ostly B, You ar e M ar ge Sim pson ? You m edium sized dog. It com par es to a
ar e nice but snap a lot. bulldog, or a basset hound.
If you got m ostly C, You ar e Bar t Sim pson ? You ar e * If you got 5-6 feet, you ar e a
a tr oublem aker. m edium -lar ge dog. This could com par e to
If you got m ostly D, You ar e Lisa Sim pson ? You ar e a golden r etr iever.
pr etty sm ar t. * If you got 6-7 feet, you ar e a lar ge dog.
If you got m ostly E, You ar e M aggie Sim pson ? You This could com par e to a otter hound or
ar e a beast that lives for ever and alw ays stays ger m an shepar d.
young. * If you got 7+ feet, you ar e a m assive, extr a
If you got m ostly F, You ar e Gr am pa Sim pson ? You lar ge dog. This could com par e to the
ar e old and cr otchety lar gest gr eat dane!